Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Last Friday of October, the day before Halloween.

Well it is the day before Halloween. It is funny how this holiday has changed for me over the years, don’t get me wrong I still love it but it doesn’t hold the same excitement it did fir me years ago. You see before I accepted Susan and who I am my time as Susan was a late night drive, I wouldn’t even leave my house till 10:30 or 11 pm and I would drive around and see if people in other cars were looking at me and then I would top off my night out with a trip through Burger kings drive through if I was feeling really confident. now Halloween was my night as the Friday and Saturday closest to Halloween I always new there would be costume parties so I would go out again late at night but on these nights I would find some convenience stores and they were nice as the counter was always by the windows so you could see the employee working and I would always try to find one with a female working and I would stop and run in and buy something just so I could see how they responded to me. of course they always took it as a costume which made it easier, but I loved Halloween as I could get out as myself and have interaction with a few people. Now Halloween is a day to dress up in a costume not just as a girl and go out and have fun and I have had a few good costumes over the years. Here are a few from the last few years.

15074539424_2ecfc72293_o Susan Millers Halloween costume 2010 6296146337_fab68e9ba7_o 15694482175_4b533653e7_o

Now incase you didn’t know I love Wonder Woman and this is the only costume I have worn several times, It was my first female costume I ever bought and if I do get to go out this year for Halloween it is the costume I will wear again as I didn’t get a costume this year as I didn’t think I would get out but now I am thinking of going out early since I can only stay out till maybe 9 at the latest. it is funny as being a girl was my costume for so many years and not it is a  normal part of my life.

I started getting ready early as I got off work early and wanted to go out. the other thing was wanted to try something new. Last week one of the girls brought in some false eyelashes she didn’t want so I got some as I have always wanted to try them. now I had always planned on going to Nordstrom’s and getting them so they could show me how to do them but I have never gotten around to it so I figured this was a good chance to try them. Now I am not sure if you put them on before your eye make up or after but I did mine after. Now I did have a little trouble getting one corner to stick and yes I had to redo one eye twice and the other 3 times before I was okay with the way they looked, still not perfect but for my first try it will do. any tips you girls have on false eye lashes would be helpful as this is totally new to me. any way here are a few close ups so you can see my first attempts.

Susan with dark hair (6) Susan with dark hair (7)Susan with dark hair (8)

It is so much fun to play with makeup and try different looks and see how you can change your look, sometimes it turns out really well and others not so good but with practice you get better. tonight I really liked the way my lips turned out and since I have posted several pictures of my eyes I thought why not my lips as this is my blog.

Susan with dark hair (8) - Copy Susan with dark hair (6) - Copy Susan with dark hair (7) - Copy

Yes I went a little picture happy tonight. Well I was already by 5:30 and on my way but before I left I had to take a few selfies to show the whole makeup look.

Susan with dark hair (1)Susan with dark hair (2)

In some ways I really like the dark hair but at certain angles I think it makes my face look harsh. downwards angles look best.

Susan with dark hair (5)Susan with dark hair (3)

I got to Sweet home at 6 and there were several people there including Chris who was playing pool, no one in costume yet though. I got out my computer and caught up on some e-mails and other things including going into a chat room for a little while. It is nice that we can take our computers with us now as you can go someplace and if you are by yourself you are not just sitting there you have something to do. I ordered dinner and had a wonderful time. other girls from our group started to show up, Cristine was first and she had her pirates costume on and looked great, Dee and Roxy also shoed up. it was going to be a fun night. Dee and I talked for a while, it was a good time.

I went to the bar to get a drink and Meagan was sitting there having a drink. she is a GG that use to come to the bar and I got to know but she moved further away and hasn’t been here in over a year..She is going to college and will finish this spring. I stood and talked with her for a while to find out what was new with her. It was nice to see her again and talk with her, I should have thought to get a picture with her.

A girl came over and asked if she could join us, while she waited for her boyfriend to show up and I said sure we talked for a while and for the life of me I can’t remember her name. she wanted some pictures with us and of course you know me I can’t turn down a photo opportunity . I of course had to get a couple pictures with her.

Susan with dark hair (9)Susan with dark hair (10)Susan with dark hair (11)

The last one I am not as happy with the way I look but she really liked that one as she had taken her glasses off so I figured I would post all of them. It was getting later and the other group started to show up and they were all in costumes and they really looked great, some of the costumes were awesome. I have come to know so many of them and are friends on Facebook with many of them. Susan really does have a great life and many friends. Heather, Mareinna, Dawni, Shryl, Craig, Alexis, Angela, Rachel, and Daniel and several other I know casually.

Karaoke started and there were so many people here now that the list to sing was long. Chris only got to sing once tonight. They did something call Scarryaoke which if you want to participate you draw a random song out of a bowl and that is what you sing and a lot of them did that. it was a fun night and even Raven and Monica showed up for a while. it was a wonderful night out and as always it must come to an end. it was about 11:40 when I paid my bill and left.

Now on my way home I was thinking about when I use to go out on Halloween and go into convenience stores, it is funny the things you think about. Any way I needed milk so I decided to stop and not at a a convenience store and get some milk. Now I know what you are all saying I go out all the time as Susan and go shopping as Susan so what is the big deal. Well I stopped at a store just a block from where I live, the one I shop at all the time when I am not Susan and tonight I am all dressed up in a pretty dress and 4” heels. I went in and walked to the back and got my milk and went to the check stand. the lady working was dressed as a Nun and I have gone through her line many times as my male self including yesterday. I am not sure if she recognized me or not but I paid for my mile and went home. it will be interesting the next time I see her.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a fun, safe and happy Halloween.

October 31, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A fun and relaxing evening at the Escape Bar and Grill

Well I got the stuff I needed to do today done early so I decided to start getting ready early and go to the Escape. This allowed me the time to enjoy the whole process of becoming Susan. It is so nice to be able to take my time becoming Susan as it is so relaxing and puts me in such a good mood.

Susan closeup (1)I was already by 5:30 and on my way. I got to the Escape by 6, this is a selfie I took of myself. I was the first one here so I got out my computer and ordered some dinner. It is funny how dependent we have become on computers or cell phone as no matter where we go we are never alone or without something to do.

Cassandra showed up shortly after I did and she also had her computer with her. She set it up in the corner and then sat down to eat with me. It was nice as we had a good chance to talk. We talked a little about the group and how it has grown so much over the years. Our group started on November 17 2007 so we will be starting our 9th year in just a couple weeks and we have 316 member. it is amazing how active our group is as with Football Season going on now we have girls going out Monday and Thursday to watch football, Wednesday for dinner and pool, Friday and Saturday night for pool and Karaoke. Really the only night we don’t have something going on is Tuesday night. We talked about how to get more girls out and other possible things to do and if there is a better way to managed the group. The one thing we all agree on is the group is all about getting T-girls to be able to come out and to support them in getting out. That is so important. I think back to my first few times out and the help I got and if it had not been for Alice, Cassandra and Linda helping me I would not be where I am today. We all have these people in our lives that made such a huge impactSusan closeup (2) on our lives.

Well other girls started to show up, Debbie one of our newer members, Cristine, Jan, Lynn, Jamie, Kristine, Michelle, and Laura. I got a chance to talk with Debbie for a while. She came here to work for a few years and has been coming out now. Her wife is still back home and at Christmas she will go visit her and then after the first of the year she will move out here also, so hopefully she will come out with the group also as she knows about Debbie.

It was about 9 and Dana and Jill showed up. Dana had gone to Victoria’s Over the Rainbow for a makeover and Jill also got a makeover. Jill was pretty excited about her makeover. Now I have never gone to Victoria’s for a makeover but I have done it a couple times at Macy’s and it was a blast. I really think for me it was more about being in the cosmetic section like any other woman then the makeover. Now if you need help with makeup or want a makeover in a safe and comfortable place then I would recommend Victoria as she really does a wonderful job.

Dana, Jill, Dee, Cassandra and I all sat at one table and talked for a while. It was funny as Jill wanted some pictures in her outfit which was awesome by the way and she had on these really cute heels so I took some pictures for her and Susan, Jill & Deeof course I had to get one with me in it. this is Me, Jill and Dee, We had 12 of us here tonight so we had a good turnout.

We talked about next Saturday which is Halloween and a lot of the girls from the group are going to the Escape and are all excited about it. Now I have to work early Sunday so I wasn’t planning on going but I just realized the next week we set our clocks back so we get an extra hour of sleep so I may go for a little bit so I can see everyone’s costume. The only bad thing is I haven’t got a new costume so I will either have to wear one I already have or try to come up with a costume this week. the other issue is I bought a lot of candy to give out to the trick or treaters and I have been good about not eating any of the candy. If I don’t give it out I will probably eat it.

Susan closeup (3)Karaoke started and several of our group sang, Dee, Laura, Lynn and even Jamie and Kristine did a duet. It was a fun night. Cassandra had to leave early but the rest of us stayed and had fun. It was almost 11:30 when  I called it a night. it was a great night and I had a blast.

Thanks for reading and have a great week.

October 25, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday evening and time for some relaxing Susan time

It has been a long and busy week and I have worked late every day so I was really looking forward to the weekend and some relaxing time as Susan. It is amazing how much I need my Susan time as she really is a big part of my life and who I am. I really think the Susan side of me is the part that keeps my life on an eve keel, she is what brings balance to my life. any way as I said I have been working late all week and today was no exception. I got home and pulled into my drive at 5:35 so it would be a rush to get ready.

It was straight into the shower and then to start getting ready. Now sometimes I have t rush to get ready which I don’t like to do as the getting ready is almost as fun as the time I spend as Susan and it is probably the most relaxing part of being Susan. Now over the last few years I have gotten a lot better doing my makeup and yes that does mean faster also. the key to getting ready faster is to know just how you want to do your makeup and how you want it to look and what dress, shoes and hair you are planning on wearing. usually I never wear what I originally planned on unless it is a new dress I have bought. I I usually make minor changes to my makeup depending on how things are going or what I decide to wear, even sometimes how my makeup comes out might influence my dress or hair for the night. Boy being a girl takes a lot of work and thought. Well as I said I went with my first decision on makeup and what is was wearing so things went a lot smoother and I think I looked pretty good. I was already to go and in my car pulling out of my garage at 6:30.

I got to Sweet home just before 7 and parked, now as I was getting ready to get out of the car I got a call from my brother so I sat in the car and talked to him for maybe 10 minutes. It is funny as I have talked with him and other friends and family on the phone when I have been Susan and I always wonder what they would think if they could see me through the phone. I am sure some of them would be supportive or wouldn’t care but it always comes back to one simple fact. Susan is just a part of who I am be it a big part and I still believe that other people do not need to know every part of your life. they need to know the parts that effect them. in other words if Susan is not going to go out with them or meet them than they really don’t need to know just like other things in my life. I don’t talk about golf or baseball to my friends who don’t like follow golf or baseball, just my thoughts on this. everyone has to decide for themselves who they tell and when.

I got inside and Cassandra, Chris and Roxy were there already and of course Chris and Cassandra both had their computers out so I broke out my computer also. Well I ordered dinner as I have not eaten since noon and I was hungry and then I caught up on my e-mails and a few other things online. Dinner came and I put away my computer so I could eat.

Cristine and Karen showed up. It was good to see them again. Karen is getting out a lot more now since she moved to the Portland area and that is great. Her wife was out of town so couldn’t come with her. I got to talk with Karen a little which was nice and I took a few pictures of her as her wife wanted to see what Karen & Susanshe wore, how awesome is that. of course I also had to get a picture of the two of us together so here is a little selfy close-up, look at our beautiful smiles and see how happy we are just being ourselves. It truly is a wonderful feeling when you finally accept who you are, all of who you are and say this is me and I am okay with being me. Life is so much better then. what a wonderful world we would have if everyone could just accept themselves and others as they are and not how we think they should be or want them to be.

Well we watched the end of the Baseball game. Royals against the Blue Jays and The Royals won so they will face the Mets in the World Series. Okay I guess I did mention baseball with friends that may not like baseball but it was only because that is what I did tonight as Susan.

Dana also showed up tonight with her girlfriend Jill, they are in town for the weekend. It was nice to see her and meet Jill, always nice to meet a GG who is not only accepting but supportive of their Transgender boyfriends or husbands.  I got a chance to talk with them and Dana wanted me to show Jill my nails and explain how I do them. well I could do batter then that as I wrote a Dana, Jill, Cassandra & Susanblog a few years back about how I do my nails called Tips for beautiful nails. It is funny as this is why I Started my blog so I could remember my life and times as Susan, Kind of my online diary. I never imagined people would even find it let alone read it. Don’t get me wrong I really do love the fact people read it and leave comments, I have met some wonderful people through my blog and some of them have joined our group and I have met in person and am happy to call all of you my friends, my online family. This is a group picture of Dana, Lisa, Cassandra and me tonight.

It is funny talking about my blog as Dana mentioned she had been here once before 3 years ago, wow doesn’t seem like we have been coming here for 3 years. Cassandra and I couldn’t remember it and Dana said it was right before Halloween when she came to town for Cassandra’s party. She came to Sweethome the night before and I was dressed as Wonder Woman and Cassandra was also dressed up for Halloween. Cassandra said she had never came here in a costume so of course I had to check with my blog and sure enough Dana was right it was right there in my blog Pre Halloween. Wow my blog was good for 2 things tonight.

Dana , Cassandra & SusanNow the other group showed up for Karaoke and a farewell party. One of their members is moving away. I have talked to her many times so of course I had to tell her goodbye. it is funny the people I have met here that I think of as friends. our group and their group has kind of blended over the years and I look more at us as one big group now. I look forward to seeing them as much as our group. Dawni, Mareinna, Blue, Jessica, Heather, Alexis, Shryl, Craig, Angela, Michele and so many others.

It was a good night out, Karaoke started and of course Chris sand. it is fun to listen to Karaoke as some of the songs I have heard and some I have never heard. it just makes a fun night out.

Well it got late and some of the girls left. Cassandra gave Dana and Jill a ride back to their hotel so they didn’t have to take a cab and soon I was the last of our group here. now as I said I feel comfortable here as I do know so many more people here fro the other people who come here so I got out my computer again and sent Jill the pictures I took as she asked me to send them to here. and then I checked some things online while I listened to a few more Dana & Susanpeople sing before calling it a night. it was almost midnight when I left. it was a wonderful evening with my friends.

Thanks for reading and I am happy to share this part of my life with you my family.

October 24, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night out at the Escape.

It is Saturday night and Susan is going out again. I am really looking forward to it as I have another new dress to wear plus I want to recreate the Smokey eye look I did last night as it turned out so well. Here are a couple pictures of it tonight. I started getting ready at 5 as I worked all day cleaning my roof and Smokey eye look tonight (1)gutters. I finished right at 5 and I was cold and wet so a nice warm shower and then transforming into Susan would be so much fun. Now I have to share a funny story.

So much of what we do is routine, we have routines for a lot of the things we do like getting ready. If something interrupts our routine it can mess our whole day up. My routine on Friday nights is the same when I get home. I take off my out fit and get dressed for bed, remove my nails, wipe off my lipstick, brush my teeth and then remove my makeup and then Saturday morning I get up, have breakfast, update my blog and then take a shower to make sure all traces of makeup are gone which they usually are. So Friday night I got home a little earlier thanSmokey eye look tonight (2) normal, got ready for bed, removed my nails, wiped off my lipstick but as I was getting ready to brush my teeth I remembered I needed to take my pill for being sick last week still have a couple to go and I need to eat something with it so I went downstairs and got a glass of water and a snack and took my pill and sat down at my computer. well I fell asleep. Any way I woke up a couple hours later and went up to bed. Saturday morning I got up about 10 and had breakfast and wrote my blog. It was about 11:30 when I finished and as I was going to clean my roof and gutters which would take several hours and I would get dirty so I skipped my shower and climbed out onto my roof and started cleaning. now incase you didn’t catch it other than my lipstick I forgot to take my Susan closeup (1)makeup off so I was on my roof all day with my makeup on and my eyes looking like these pictures. The neighbor man was working in his yard and we did talk a couple times but we were 40 feet apart and I was on my roof so he may not have been able to see the makeup but if he did he didn’t say anything and I am pretty sure he knows about Susan as his wife is one of the 2 neighbors that saw me and know.

Well I got ready and put on my new dress and was out the door by 6:30 and on my way. I got to the Escape right at 7 and the parking lot was full so I parked along the curb, Jan and Lynn had just arrived and were getting out of their car so we all walked in together. Cassandra was there on her computer and Laura H. was at the bar with her friend. I stopped and talked to Laura for a bit as it has been a while since I have seen her out. It was nice to catch up with her.

Susan new dress (1)Cassandra came over and we talked and of course I had her take a couple pictures of me in my new dress. Now it was time to order dinner as I have not eaten since breakfast this morning and I was hungry. There was a new girl here tonight who just happened to come to the Escape on a night we were here so I talked with her briefly, she seems nice. Hopefully we will see her out again.

I got my computer out and checked my e-mails and Facebook andSusan new dress (2) then went into the same chat room Cassandra was in for a while. I am still not real good at keeping up with the chat but it was fun for a while. By the way this is my new dress. I have one more new dress but I am saving that for Harvey’s next Month, it will be hard to wait to wear it but I will find a way.

Cristine showed up as did Laura M. and her girlfriend so we had a good turnout. Jan, Lynn, Laura M. and her girlfriend and I sat at one table and we had a good chance to talk which was nice. Teresa also showed up, it was good to see and talk with her. We sat and watched the Met’s play the Cub’s. The Met’s won and most of the people here wanted the Cub’s to win. I like both teams so I will be happy no matter which team wins. It is funny though to have a bunch of T-girls at a bar watching sports. Jamie also showed up tonight although her wife couldn’t make it.

Karaoke started and the bar got busy as the other group came in. They have some really good singers and of course some of our girls sang to and they were good also. Both Laura’s, Lynn and Jamie sang. Cassandra also talked to the bar Susan new dress (3)about Halloween and what they are doing this year as most of our group are planning on going here Halloween night. The staff is all dressing up as characters from Rocky Horror Picture Show so that will be a lot of fun and they are also having a costume contest, it should be a fun night although I most likely wont be able to make it. If I do it will be early as I wont be able to stay out late.

It was a fun night out.

October 18, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night and going out for fun.

Well it has been a fun week full of Susan time and I was looking forward to tonight as I am going to wear one of my new dresses I bought this week plus my new heels. I started getting ready about 5 and I was rally excited, still Susan's new dress (2)amazes me how having a new dress to wear can make the whole experience so much more fun and more special. Now of course being a new dress I have to include a picture as it really is a cute dress.

I took a few pictures before I left home just to make sure I wouldn’t forget later and it was a good thing I did as I never thought about getting a picture the rest of the night. another funny thing as just a few years back I would take so many pictures when I went out now I really have to work hard to think about it although it does help when I have a pretty new dress to wear. nowSusan and my new dress I guess I should also include a close up of my makeup as I think it turned out well tonight.

I left home at 6:45 and was at sweethome by 7. now I did have to park about a block away but that was okay. As I got to the door Craig, Shryl and several people from the other group that comes here were just going in and all said hi to me, this really is a great bar kind of like Cheer’s from the TV show where everyone knows your name. I went in and Chris was there on his computer. I got out my computer and caught up on a few things while we talked.

It was good to be out again as Susan. I know it is hard for people who are not transgender to understand, for that matter it can be hard for people in the transgender community to understand. For lack of a better word I am a crossdresser as I like to dress as a female but it is more than that. I have a distinct feminine side and I really think it is stringer and more define then my male side. I am more relaxed, calm happy and comfortable in my feminine side, it just feels completely right. now I know what you are thinking and that I am thinking about transitioning but no that is not the case. I like who I am in my body and don’t want to change it. yes I would like softer skin, a more feminine jaw line and yes there are times I would love to have real breasts but this is only when I step into my feminine roll and become Susan. As I said it is hard to understand, I have several friends who have transitioned and it was right for them. When I have talked to them they have told me they always new they were a girl, that they always new their body was wrong and I can kind of understand this but it s only on the thought level you really can’t understand this without the feelings and emotions that go along with it. For them there is nothing more important the become who they truly believe they are. I can understand the need a little as I have feelings similar, if I go long periods of not being Susan I get stressed out, sad, unhappy. years ago it might be every few months I just had to dress up and be Susan but now she has become such a big part of me that just a week or two and I can feel a deep need for her to come out.

There are things I think about doing all the time like my nails. If I could I would have long pretty nails always even in my male roll. at time I think it would be wonderful to have long beautiful hair all the time but that takes a lot of time and care and there are days I would not want to deal with it. it is a shame that society puts such strict rules on what is male and female as it really does cause people to miss out on things they might really enjoy. so the question is where I go from here and that only time will tell. I do know I will not transition as I do not feel that way about myself and my body. will I spend more time as Susan probably. it use to be every few months, and over the years it is to where I try to get out as Susan at least one or two times a week. I guess the best way to explain it is winning the lottery.

If I won 50 million dollars tonight how would my life change. I wouldn’t have to work and that would mean I wouldn’t have to care what others thought of me. I would have long pretty nails all the time, my ears would be pierced and I would at least grow my hair out once and see how I like it. I would probably spend most of my time living as Susan so I could see it flip flopping where maybe one or two days a week I would be my male self. of course this would mean coming out to everyone, but there would be no surgery. I would just be me as I am now happy with  both sides of my personality.

Okay got off topic again so back to tonight. Roxy also showed up which was nice. She was talking to one of the girls here at the bar names Steph. She does her hair. I got talking with Steph and she is really nice. We probably talked for 20 to 30 minutes. I really do like meeting new people. Dee also showed up as she is back in town for a few months. plus a couple other girls showed up so we had 6 of us here tonight. we ordered dinner and had a nice enjoyable time here.

I talked with some of the other people in the bar which is always nice as this is really an excepting place. Angela came over and said hi to our group and told us how nice we all looked which I never get tired of hearing. she also told me how I had such beautiful cheekbones which I actually do. that is probably the one thing that I would say is feminine about my appearance all the time, I just naturally have high cheekbones. Dawni also came over and said hi and gave me a big hug. I so love the way woman feel totally at easy hugging friends but for men it is so hard to do and uneasy. there really are just more wonderful things about being female than male.

Karaoke started and that is always fun, some of the songs I know and can sing along with and some I have never heard before. Monica and Raven shoed up. Monica had on a new hair piece and it was beautiful, she looked so awesome. now as I said it would be nice to have my own long hair but there is something to be said for wigs as you can change you look so easy with them. Well Chris sand only one song tonight and then he had t go. it wasn’t long and most of the girls left so Susan's new dress (1)I broke out my computer for a little while as I was not ready to leave yet. I played on my computer as I listened to people sing it was a fun night. okay one more picture.

It was after 11 when I paid my bill and left and of course I had to stop and say goodnight to my friends in the bar. I really do like this new dress. now I have to decide if I should wear one of my other new dresses Saturday night when I go out. I have 3 but one I am saving for Harvey’s next month. wow that will be hard to wait for that. I still can’t understand how I get so excited over a new dress for Susan but I could have all the new cloths in the world for my male self and would think about it in the least.

Well thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.


October 17, 2015 Posted by | New Dress, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Wednesday night dinner with my friends

Well I have been out all day as Susan and I am not ready to go home yet. It is funny as I am so excited about my new dress and so looking forward to wearing and showing it off, now what makes this funny is there is not one piece of my male clothes that I would get excited about or be thinking about when and where I will wear it. This really is one of the things I love about being Susan, being excited about a new dress, lipstick or a manicure, how awesome is that.

Well I hung out at Barnes and Nobble at Lloyd Center till a little after 5 and then drove downtown to Fox & Hounds. I got there at 5:30 and went in and Cassandra was there on her computer in the chat room and Cassie was also there in boy mode. I had my computer so I broke it out and went online also. It wasn’t long and Cristine showed up and we sat there and talked and played online. It was getting close to 7 and Julie showed up, I was glad to see her as she is so much fun. Roxy and Chris also showed up so we had 7 for dinner tonight. We are going to House of Louie for Chinese food tonight. Its only 2 blocks away and it is a nice night for a walk.

We got to House of Louie about 7 and Michele and Jamie were there waiting for us. Dee also showed up so we had 10 of us for dinner. Julie and I were talking about the fun I have been having out as Susan shopping the last 2 day. She asked what my plans were for tomorrow and if I wanted to go golfing which really would be fun so we are going golfing. It is funny as I have known her for years and it will be the first time we meet or see each other as our boy self. Now the only sad thing is I will have to remove my beautiful red nail polish.

We had a great dinner as we always do, being out with friends is a wonderful way to spend the evening. It was about 9 when we all headed over to CC Slaughters for a while. Now they were decorating for Halloween and didn’t have any tables out just a few chairs. A new girl showed up named Barbra and it was nice to meet her. Cassandra, Julie and I sat and talked for a while which is always nice. it is funny how as Susan I really do enjoy sitting around and talking. I think it is the social aspect of it, just the girls sitting around talking. It was almost 10 when I left and went home. I have been gone from home for 12 hours and my makeup still looked okay including my lipstick.

Now it is Thursday morning and I am sitting here at home on my computer updating my blog and loving my nails. I am totally in boy mode except for the nails and so wish I could keep them this way. it just isn’t fair that girls can have pretty nails and boys can’t. I will have to remove it soon so I can go golfing and that will be a sad moment but it really will be fun to meet Julie as her male self and we will have a blast golfing.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.

October 15, 2015 Posted by | Dinner out, Fox & Hound | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another girls day out on Wednesday

Well I feel a lot better today and as I am off all week what better way then to spend another Girls day out. I got up this morning and of course I still have my Pretty red nails. My goal was to be to Burlington Coat at Jantzen Beach by 10 am. It is funny as it really does take me longer in the morning to get ready, well I guess it is because I feel I will be out most of the day when it is bright out so I really do put extra effort into my makeup. Today I plan on going out to dinner with my friends tonight at 7 and I am not sure I will have time to go home and freshen up and I can tell you there is a big difference between me going 12 to 14 hours in makeup and your average woman.

I was ready to leave by 9:45 so I was right on time. I had a comment yesterday about what I wore and how I dress when I go out and I got thinking. I use to always put in my blog what I wore and usually a picture and I guess as I have been going out more I have kind of gotten away from doing that so I am going to make an effort to include that information more. When I go out during the day like today I really think about where I am going and what other woman would wear there and that is how I try to dress. I have never worn a dress to go shopping, Sometimes maybe a skirt but mostly Capri’s or like today yoga 20151014_094615pants and a cute top. I can actually pull off yoga pants as long as my top is long enough to cover my rear. This is me just before I left home. It is a really cute look.

I got to Burlington Coat just a little past 10 and went in and looked around. Last time I came here I bought 3 pairs of heels so I was really hoping to find some cute shoes. But today was not my lucky day, they had very few in size 10 or above as far as heels. I walked through the clothing section and didn’t see anything I liked but then a girls day out shopping is more about being out then what you buy at least it is for me. It was about 10:30 when I left here and my next stop would be Washington Square mall. It took about a half hour to get there and soon I was parking outside Sears.

I went in and as luck would have it the door I went in was right by the woman’s shoe section so I started off looking at their shoes, again not a big selection in my sizes. It kind of looks like they are in the middle of going from summer shoes to winter ones. So not seeing anything I ventured out into the mall. now being early there really weren’t a lot of people here but I knew that would change as it got later in the day. My first stop was H&M to check out their clothing. I think this store is more for the younger people as they really didn’t have much in my size but still I looked around. Well it was back out into the mall which now was getting a lot busier and I was amazed how many young people were here. I would have thought they would be in school on a Wednesday morning. I went into Victoria’s Secret as that is almost always a must when Susan is at the mall. I have never bought anything here but so fun to go in a look around. Some day I will get up the courage and maybe get a bra sizing here. They really do have a lot of really cute things here but again my size is probably not their target customer.

From here it was back into the mall and down to JC Pennies which is at the very opposite end of the mall from Sears. Now the one bad thing about going to Malls is they are really big and if you do run into someone you know it may not be a quick and easy exit to get away. I spent a little time here looking around as they had a huge selection of dresses, the most I have seen in one store in a long time. Some were marked down but most were not and were $60 to $120 so I didn’t hold a lot of hope. I did find two really cute dresses and I probably would have spent the moneys as they were hat cute but most of their dresses only go up to a size 14 and that is just not going to work for me. I checked out their shoes and of course their intimate apparel section as I really do need to get some new Bra’s but didn’t see anything I liked. Funny how I like the really cute ones even though no one else will see them.

From here I went to Macy’s and looked around for a while. They have a pretty good selection of mark down items but again most were not things I would buy. looks more like they are marked down because hey didn’t sell instead of summer things they need to get rid of to bring in fall and winter items. I guess they had a good year selling things. I left here and as I walked down the mall I got the smell of cinnamon rolls, they have a Cinnabon here and I so love them. I walked down and looked at it and it took all I could do not to get one but now I was hungry. so my next stop was the food court on the upper level.

I went up and got something to eat and sat at a table right by the stairs so I could watch people. now I just relaxed and had a nice lunch and people watched, I was really paying attention to what the woman were wearing. Here is what I noticed. there was one woman in a dress and heels but she was like 5’3” and maybe 90 LB.s so she could get away with it. I saw some woman wearing skirts and low heels. Capri’s and yoga pants were about the same number but the most were wearing Jeans. But I feel I could get away with any of them but the dress at the mall.

After I ate I finished walking through the mall and then back to Sears. funny as I went into Sears right on the rack by the entrance was that same dress I saw yesterday at the Sears at Lloyd Center and they had a size 18 but still didn’t look like it would fit me. I was holding it up to me trying to decide if it might fit when the girl at he counter looked at me and told me I should try it on as it would look really pretty on me. She also told me that the brand Metaphor was on sale for 50% off so instead of $48 it would be $24 so now there was no stopping me. She pointed me to the woman’s dressing room so with my dress in hand I headed down towards the dressing room. Now I have tried clothes on before in store but it is always a little nerve racking as you really never know how it will go. The lady at the dressing room saw me coming and came right up to me and asked if I needed to try it on. I said yes and she showed me right into the dressing room. It is just a little on the snug side but then I think that is how it is supposed to be so I took it to the checkout and bought it. This will be the dress I wear to Harvey’s next month, I cant wait. Here is a picture from their web page. With my Pretty new dress in hand I was on my way to my car.

It was almost 2 pm now I had been here for almost 3 hours wow didn’t seem that long. I drove across HWY 217 to the Burlington Coat there to see what they had. I parked and went in and it appears they are remolding inside and part of the store is closed off and the selection was really poor. I was only in there maybe 15 minutes before I left. So now I had to decide what to it was a little after 2 and my friends wont be out till about 6 I thought about going home for a bit but that seemed like a waste so I decided to drive back towards Lloyd Center as that really isn’t far fro Fox & hounds where will we meet tonight and there are some other stores around hat area. I could check out plus I wanted to beet the traffic. it still took almost an hour to get there so it was about 3 pm when I got there.

I parked and went into the mall by the ROSS dress for less as there are bathrooms there that are never busy as it is not the main part of the mall and nature was calling. I only mention this because of the funny thing that happened as I was washing my hands a man wandered in looks at me and said said I am so sorry miss I got the wrong one and quickly exited. He accidently wandered into the woman’s rest room. Now they had a Spirit Halloween store here so I wandered in and looked at some costumes. I am really not that excited about Halloween as it falls on a Saturday night this year and I will have to work early the next morning so I probably wont even be able to go out, so sad. now I had to figure out what to do. if I went home it would be 4:30 or later when I got there so I really didn’t want to do that. I noticed yesterday that Barnes and Nobble has free Wi-Fi so I walked by and noticed they have a Starbucks inside so I figured why not go out to my car and get my computer and sit here in Barnes and Nobble and have an iced tea and catch up on my blog and son work. so that is where I am right now, I figure about 5 I will head to Fox & Hound and wait for my friends as Cassandra may get there a little early any way. I am at a table just out of the railing of Starbucks more in the store itself right by the entrance from the mall so I can people watch. it has been a fun day so far. Now I am looking forward to dinner and spending some time with my friends 20151014_094212tonight. well one more picture

Wow a little longer then most my posts so if you read this far thank you.

Have a great day.

October 14, 2015 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, shopping | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Girls day out

Well after being sick all last week and Really sick over the weekend I was ready for a little Susan time and what better way then a girls day out. I decided to start off with a Manicure and Pedicure. I called Dream Nails last night and set up an appointment for 10 am today with Anna so that is where my day starts. I got up this morning and got ready and thinking I had left plenty of time seems I was rushing to get out the door.  I left my house at 9:55 lucky for me the nail salon is just a couple blocks away. I got there right at 10 and there were already 2 ladies there getting pedicures.

I picked out my color Ferrari red which is a really bright red and as I have the week off work I am also getting my fingers painted this color. Well I took my seat and Anna started on my pedicure, The shop has nice new pedicure seats and tubs. Now I have said it many times but if you have never gotten a pedicure you really need to at least once. it is such a relaxing feeling. they rub and pedicuremessage your feet and lower leg, put lotion and oils on it to soften the skin, just incredible. it took about 30 minutes and soon my toes were a really pretty Ferrari red. Don’t they look so pretty?

now it was time for my manicure. Anna started on my fingers. now my nails were a little long as I was letting them grow as I knew I had this week off work. The nails really looked bad as they were uneven so I had her shape them without cutting them and it really did turn out well they really aren’t that long maybe an 1/8th of an inch but properly shaped they looked really good. Just like the pedicure they rub and massage your hand and forearm and use lotion and oils on them also and when they are done you hands are so soft and look awesome. It was time to put the polish on and Anna told me she had the same color in Gel polish. Now I have to admit I was tempted but as I am not sure how long I will be able to keep the red finger nails I went with regular polish as I can take that off at home really easy. soon Manicuremy fingers were the same pretty red and it is amazing how awesome and feminine they look even being relatively short. Just goes to show how a little nail polish makes a difference.

It was about 11:20 when I left the Nail salon with my beautiful nails. Now I really had no laid out plans for the day as I really didn’t even decide to go out today till yesterday even when I felt I would feel good enough to go out. It really would have sucked if I was still sick as I took this week off for some Susan time.

I decided my first stop would be Lloyd Center mall for a little shopping. I got there and parked outside Sears and went in. I looked around at their closeout stuff and didn’t see anything I liked but did find a really cute pair of wedge heels on closeout and they looked like they would fit me. but with my new pedicure I didn’t want to try them on and take a chance on messing up my pretty toes. I walked over to the dress section and found this really cute black/grey dress that kind of had some sparkle to it. it was only $48 which actually would have been one of the more expensive dresses I have bought but it was really cute. I thought about it as they did have a size 16 which in some dresses I can fit in but decided against it. So off into the mall I went.

I walked down to ULTA and went in and looked at some makeup. I thought about getting a new mascara and I probably should have as mine is getting old. This is the hard part about being transgender and the reason I don’t spend a lot of money buying expensive makeup. They say you should replace your mascara every 6 months and eye makeup every year to because they can get germs in them and cause problems. now when you dress 1 or 2 times a week makeup lasts forever. I guess if I was wearing it every day it would be different but it seems such a waste to throw something away that still seems good just because it is old. It is a little easier when you only pay $6 to $8 for them but if I was paying $25 for them it would be a little harder. Well I didn’t buy anything.

My next stop was ROSS Dress for Less, I went in and looked at their dresses and none of them looked very pretty, I can see why they were marked down. now they did have some cute ones in the size 6 to 8 but nothing for me so I left. I did pop into Barnes and Nobble for a it just to look around really wasn’t looking for anything but it was fun to look around.

I walked over to Macy’s and went in to look around. I made a quick trip through the cosmetic section but didn’t spend much time there although I was tempted to look at their false lashes. so it was unto the 3rd floor to the woman’s clothes section to see what they had on sale. they really didn’t have anything that caught my eye here either. I strolled through the mall kind of window shopping and then back to Sears where I looked at that dress one more time. I so wanted it but holding it up to myself I knew it would not fit. Find it hard to believe it was a size 16. well as I was walking to the door of course I had to go by the shoe section so I tried on the heels I had looked at earlier and they did fit pretty well and I figured for $14 I would buy them so I have a new pair of heels to wear.

It was about 2 now so I decided to go to Cascade Station by the Airport for a little more shopping as they have a Ross Dress for Less there that so far every time I have gone here I have found a cute dress in my size, okay some of them are a little on the short side but they fit. I got there and parked and went in and right to the dress section. right off the bat I found a really cute red and black dress in my size and right next to it was a blue and black dress also in my size and as they were $14.99 and $19.99 I couldn’t pass them up so I have 2 new dresses to wear some night.

It was about 3 pm now and I was hungry as I haven’t eaten today so I drove across the parking lot to Panda Express and went in and got something to eat. I have actually eaten here a few times before when I have been in this area. I guess I am a creature of habit. I had a nice lunch and then went back out to my car and got my computer and walked just a little ways down to the Starbucks and that is where I am now. Having a nice Green tea while I catch up on my blog, chat on Facebook and then I will do a little work before heading home. It really has been a fun Girls day out. Now I just need to figure out what I will do tomorrow. I may go out to Washington Square mall for a while plus there are many other stores out in that area I can go shopping at.

Thanks for reading and I hope your day was as fun as mine.


October 13, 2015 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, shopping | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Saturday night at Harvey’s to see Bob Zany

Saturday night and we are going to Harvey’s Comedy Club. The owner Berry recommended we come tonight because the Comedian Bob Zany is really good, He likes to pick on the audience So we are going 2 weeks in a row as we want to See Julie Scoggins next weekend. Now we only had a small group tonight, 9 of us.

I started getting ready late as I had things I had to do and also I wasn’t planning on going to Fox & Hound first. Seems I twisted my knee and didn’t think I could walk the 7 blocks so I was going straight to Harvey’s which I knew several of the other girls would be doing also. I was ready by a little after 7 and on my way. I got downtown Portland about 7:30 and started looking for a parking spot. turns out the only thing I could find was still about 4 blocks away. now I worm my boots with the 3” heels as the funny thing is even with my hurt knee it is easier to walk in heels then in flats.

I got to Harvey’s and Jan, Lynn, Cristine and Barb were already there. It was great to see Barb again as she goes out of town during the summer so it has been several months since I have talked with her. Barb and I talked a little about Stefia. She is a member of our group but didn’t get out with the group much as most of Stefia and Susan ate Sweethomeher time out was during the day. I did get out with her from time to time for lunch or dinner and she was an awesome friend. She passed away last Tuesday do to Pancreatic Cancer. This is a picture from when we got together a few months ago. She was an awesome friend and I will really miss her, she was loved by so many. She really did touch a lot of lives. Over the years we have lost several of our Sisters, Lisa, Carol, Morgan and now Stefia and each one of them has touched our lives in some way and we are better for knowing them.

Star our favorite bar tender was working tonight and it was nice to see her again, She went and had dinner with us at Benihana on Wednesday night. Julie and Trixie also were able to join us tonight as they are such wonderful people. It has been awhile since Trixie has been able to get out. it was great to sit and talk with them. Sophia and Lorna also showed up so we had all 9 of us here tonight.

Well it was time to go in for the show and as always our table was reserved and of course our favorite waitress Kim was working tonight. She is so awesome and greats all of us with a hug. We all ordered dinner as we waited for the show to start.

The show was good and all the comedians were awesome but Bob Zany was awesome. he really did pick on the audience, He would ask them questions and then make jokes about it. it really was awesome. if you get a chance to go see him you should but remember if you sit close enough to the stage which is probably within 25 feet of it you will probably get to be part of the show and if you get out of your seat for anything like going to the bathroom you will also be part of the show. It really was a fun night and went by so fast.

Thanks for reading.

October 4, 2015 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Benihana in Beaverton

Benihana 9-30-2015 (6)Well it is Wednesday night and Susan was going out to dinner. Our group has been trying to pick new places to go to dinner on Wednesday nights to mix it up some. this is a picture of me at the Benihana. now we have never gone here before as a group although I think once many many years ago I had gone to Benihana, you actually sit at a table with a grill at it and they cook your dinner right at the table while you watch. each table sits 8 people and we had a good turnout of 16 so we filled 2 tables. we had Cassandra, Star, Cristine, Julie, Jan, Lynn, Rebecca, Veronica, Jennie, Amy, Chris, Roxy, Jamie, Christine, Michelle and of course me. it was going to be a really fun night.

I got there about 6:30 and went in and met the girls in the bar. turns out our reservations were not till 8 pm so we sat in the bar and talked. I got to talk with Veronica, Cass and of course Julie, Julie and I had a wonderful time talking, she is so much fun. more of the girls started showing up and soon all 16 of us were there. now what was cool is Star came tonight, she is the Bartender at the Lounge at Harvey’s. She wanted to join us tonight, she had on these really awesome false lashes. she had gone to Nordstrom’s and got them. I really have to try false lashes sometime. I talked with her for a while about them, so much Benihana 9-30-2015 (13)fun talking about things like this.

It is amazing how fast the time went by and soon it was 8 pm and time to go in to our tables for dinner. our 2 tables were next to each other separated by where the chief stood to cookBenihana 9-30-2015 (14) our dinner. now of course several of us had our camera’s out taking pictures. now of course I had to get a picture or 2 with Star. She was so much fun. of course we will see her again when we go to Harvey’s which we are planning twice in November as we are going our normal night and also when Julie Scoggins will be here as she is so awesome.

Well our waitress took our order and I ordered the Teriyaky Chicken. They had a really good menu and it all looks so wonderful. Well the chef’s came to our table with our food and started to cook what we ordered. now this is where it got really fun.

Benihana 9-30-2015 (12)Our chef was awesome, he actually made a show out of cooking our food on the grill. flipping the knives and seasoning, he made it look almost like art, it was awesome. you get dinner and a show right at your table. If you have never been to a Benihana you really need to go it is awesome. It is a little more expensive but so worth it for what all you get. most dinner options are between $19 and $35 but what is cool is you can order 1 thing and someone else ordered something else and you split them and the chef will cook it and give you each half. One tip if you want to go make reservations and it is more fun if you go as a group.

The food was awesome, the staff was awesome, and watching them cook right at the table was priceless. It was an incredible night out with my friends. we all talked and had a wonderful time.

After dinner we all got together and took a group picture, well it was actually the Benihana that took the picture and gave us several copies. This is our group scan0001out for dinner. It was after 10 when we left Benihana so it would be a late night for me as I still had a 45 minute drive home but it was so worth it. I think we will be back here for dinner again.

Thanks for reading.

October 3, 2015 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments


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