Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Last Saturday night of 2015

Well it is the last Saturday night of 2015 and I had the chance to spend some time as Susan. Christmas is over and I hope you all had a Merry Christmas, and I hope you all have a Happy and safe New Year. 2015 has really been a good year with being able to spend time as Susan. Now I will admit it would be awesome if I could spend more time as Susan, I average about 2 evenings a week but it would be fun to spend a few days at a time as Susan like I do when I go to Diva Las Vegas. Now I do not want to be Susan all the time just would like Susan to play a bigger part in my life. I think this is because I realize this coming year I won’t be able to go to Diva Las Vegas this year, the dates just didn’t work for me.

Well I am able to be Susan tonight so I am happy. I started getting ready at 4 so I could take my time. Getting ready and doing my makeup is so relaxing and fun. I really do enjoy the getting ready part. Even if for only a few hours I can slip out of my daily life and enjoys some girl time.

I got to the Escape about 6:30 and the parking lot was full so I had to park across the street. Now I had figured I would be able to park right in front so I wore my 4” heels so I had a little farther to walk in them tonight, Its not really hard just have to take smaller steps.

I got inside and it was pretty busy but Cristine was the only one from our group there so far. Now of course I did have my laptop with me so I got it out for a little while as we waited for others to show up. I kind of looked for Cassandra to be here early as she has not been out for over 6 weeks. it wasn’t long and some of the other girls started showing up We actually had a good turn out tonight. Cassandra showed up and she had on a new dress which was really cute. Cassandra had me take some pictures so she could text one to her wife Peggy as she wanted to see her new dress. Kelly also showed up and it has been probably 2 years since she has been out with the group, it was good to see her out again. Laura and her friend Diana also made it tonight along with Jamie, Jan, Lynn, Kitty and a few other girls. It was nice to see so many out.

It really was a fun night, I really do enjoy my time out with my friends as Susan. It is funny as a few years ago going out there was such an excitement of being out. Although the excitement is gone it has been replaces with the with the ability to go out anyplace and feel comfortable and relaxed which is wonderful. It really is fun to just be able to go out and do every day things that any other woman would do.

karaoke started and several of our group sang, they really do have some good singers here. I had a nice dinner and good conversation so it really was a fun night. the group is planning on coming here on Thursday for New Years Eve. Again for the second year I won’t be able to make it out that night as I have to work early the next day. It was about 11 when I called it a night. As I was leaving it was snowing outside. now it wasn’t cold enough to stick to the ground but it was snowing, first of the year here.

I hope everyone has a Happy and Safe New Year. I am really looking forward to it and growing as Susan and going to some new places. Of course I will be going shopping a,d may start trying to get to Starbucks again when I have some work to do and of course going and getting pedicures which I really need again. Maybe even going to the movies, there are a few movies out I want to see including the new Star Wars movie. I think it will be a good year coming up.

Thanks for reading.

December 30, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday night and the last Friday till the new year

Another long week and Friday is here and time for a little Susan. Now with Christmas next Friday, Merry Christmas everyone and New Years the next Friday I will be unable to make it out till next Year. Well maybe next Saturday if I am lucky. This is the one bad thing about being Susan part time, when things get busy Susan sometimes has to be put back in the closet for a while.

I got ready early and was on my way by 6. I got to sweethome by 6:30. Chris was there playing pool. Now it was pretty busy for as early as it was. being early I got out my computer and caught up on some work. It wasn’t long and Robyn, Diane (in male mode) and Roxy showed up so we would have a good turnout tonight.

It was nice to be out with all my friends, I always love my time as Susan but being out with friends makes it that much more special. In all we had 7 of us here tonight and had a nice dinner and fun talking.

Karaoke started a little latter tonight but it was still good. Now I did have to leave early as I had to be up early Saturday and would be busy all day. It was still a fun night. The sad part is Susan may not be out for a couple weeks


December 20, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another busy week as we get close to Christmas

Wow it has been a busy week again and no time for Susan. I was looking forward to tonight and my normal Friday night out but I was so tired when I got home I thought about not going. I actually sat down on the couch to rest and watch a little News before getting ready which was probably a mistake as I awoke at 5:50 when a friend called me. I had slept about an 1 1/2 hours but I was still tired. I thought though I needed something to eat so why not go to Sweethome for dinner and just not stay out late.

So after my phone call I jumped into the shower at 5:55. Now I did rush tonight as a matter of fact I did not look at the time again till I was in my car. Now what takes time for me getting ready is when I over think everything, how to do my makeup, how I want my eyes to look, what colors, what shoes, what hair, what dress. girls have so many choices and SusanI love that. Tonight I just went with what I felt like, no second thoughts or changing my mind and it actually turned out really well. I did get a few selfies but no pictures of my outfit which was my grey sweater dress.

I got all done with my makeup and dress, grabbed my computer and got into the car. As I pulled out of my garage I looked at the time and it was 6:28, I think this is a record for getting ready. start to finish in 30 minutes. well as I drove away I noticed I forgot my nails, yes they were still sitting on the counter in the bathroom. I thought about going back but decided not to as this was going to be a short night.

I got to Sweethome and Chris was there playing pool and there was actually a pretty good crowd for this early. Well I ordered dinner and got out my computer for a while. Dinner came and it was really good as always. I finished my dinner and the figured I would catch up on a few things online before going home at 8 but Sarah showed up. she has not Susan & Sarah (1)been out in over a year so we got talking and of course I just couldn’t leave. I don’t think Susan has ever gone out with her friends and said this is when I an leaving and left at that time.

Michele and Roxy also showed up tonight so we had a good turn out. It was a fun night and I really enjoyed the girl talk

Karaoke started late tonight about 10:20 so we listened to a few songs and then both Sarah and I decided to call it a night. yes I could have fell asleep right there at the table. We went up to the bar to pay our bill and ended up getting in a conversation with a man and woman there. They were really nice but they did have some questions which I never mind if the person is not trying to make a joke of it. we talked with them for a while. they have met Transsexuals and understood that but were curious crossdressers as we both told them we only lived part of our lives as woman.

I think this is harder for people to understand as it is easier to understand someone who feels they were born the wrong sex and needs to correct that and live their life as who they truly are inside. Where corssdressers live part of their lives as the opposite sex, its not so much their body is wrong it is more the appearance and emotional need to express this side of themselves.

well we finally paid our bills and Sarah left. I stayed for one more karaoke as Angela was singing a song I really like. It was about 11 when I left, I guess I really overstayed past my 8 time but it was such a fun time and I really do need my Susan time. I need to be able to express my Susan side, go out as Susan and have fun. She is a part of me and I cannot dismiss her or deny her any more that I could cut off an arm. she makes me the person I am and without her I would not be the same person.

It is funny as I hide her from so many people for fear of what they would think and yet she is a big reason I am who I am and the reason these people like me as she is always with me even if she is not visible.

well thanks for reading and have a great day

December 12, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fun Saturday and a fun night at Harvey’s Comedy club

Okay today has been a fun Saturday. I woke up on my couch seems I got home last night when I got home  fell asleep on my couch, guess I was more tired than I thought. Any way I woke up still in my dress and full makeup with my wig on the floor next to the couch. Now normally I do not dress and stay at home. If I am Susan I want to go out someplace plus being at hoe I am always worried someone might stop by unexpected and yes I do have family close that do have keys to my house. But somet5hing today made me want to be Susan all day. now my makeup wasn’t good enough to go out but with a little touchup it would do for a day at home. Besides my plan for the day was to put up and decorate my Christmas tree and house.

So here I was in my dress heels and long nails as I got out my tree and started to set it up. I left my front curtain open so I could keep a watch out incase someone came by. I figured there was less of a chance of someone looking in from the outside and seeing me verses someone stopping by and catching me off guard. It was a fun day just doing normal things around the house as Susan. I finished up about 3 and then just sat around for an hour watching TV till it was time to start getting Susan ready for a night out at Harvey’s.

Now it did take a little longer getting ready as I had to remove all of my makeup from yesterday which took a little longer. I was all ready by 6 pm. Now before I left I had to get a picture and decided what better Susan puts up her Christmas tree (1)than next to my Christmas tree. Now normally I ma really careful on pictures I take at home as not to show to much incase someone might recognize it, I usually crop out all but myself from the picture but today I really wanted to show my Christmas tree so you get a little glimpse of my home.

I left and went to Downtown Portland to Fox & Hounds as some of us meet there early before we go to Harvey’s. I got there at 6:30 and Laura and her friend Lisa were already there. We got some drinks and then went over and sat a a table and talked. Camilla showed up, I have met her a few times before and she had two other girls with her. They joined us for a while.

Sandy also showed up for a little while, she was in town and had spent the day out shopping. It was great to see her again as she doesn’t get to Portland that often. She is really nice and we had a chance to talk and catch up. Over the last few years I have made some really good friends, some have moved away and others I met when they came here to visit but even though we don’t see each other that often they are still good Susan puts up her Christmas tree (2)friends and a part of my life and anytime I can visit with them is special. Rebecca also was out tonight, she was on a date but came over and talked with us a little also. It is funny as half the girls that were at Fox & Hounds were not going to Harvey’s they were just out for a night out. this is really wonderful that we are able to just go out and have fun on our own without feeling we have to be in a big group.

Barb, Samantha and her fried Kera showed up also they are going to Harvey’s with us. It was about 8:30 when we left for Harvey’s, there were 6 of us that made the 6 block walk to Harvey’s. now it wasn’t really cold but it was raining pretty good so of course I had my pink umbrella, Yes I have a his and hers umbrella in my car, Black for my male self and bright pink for Susan.

We got to Harvey’s and Cristine was there already. Now Laura and I went to the bar and got to talk with Star for a while as we were early and she was not busy at the bar. It was nice to talk with her but it wasn’t long and other people came in and she had to go back to work as they all wanted drinks.

Sophie and Dee also showed up so we had 9 for tonight’s show. Kim our favorite waitress came out and talked to us for a little while and of course she had a hug for each of us. While I was walking through the bar a young lady stopped me and told how beautiful my dress was, something I always love to hear as I really do want to look my best as Susan. By the way the dress in the above picture is what I wore tonight.

Well it was time to go in to the showroom, Kim had our table already for us. we all ordered and visited a little as we waited for the show to start, it was a smaller crowd tonight. The show started and as always it was really good. All 3 of the comedian’s were wonderful and we all laughed. This really is one of our more fun nights out as we get to interact with the general public and I think this really helps other people see us as just regular people who may dress a little different then they do.

After the show we got a chance to talk with Kim a little more, she is thinking of joining us out on a Wednesday night, I will have to make sure I make it out that night, Hopefully it wont be the next couple weeks as I will not be able to make it out during the week probably till after Christmas.

Well after the show several of us had to walk back to Fox & Hounds as we had parked down there. It was still raining but not as hard. It really was a fun night out in every aspect. Thanks for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day.

December 6, 2015 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

End to a couple long weeks and time for Susan

It has been a long and busy couple weeks and no time for Susan. With Thanksgiving last week and family over Susan had to go in hiding for a while. I had Family at my house for Thanking and I for the first time did the Thanksgiving meal and it turned out pretty well. It was fun but also hard to have to go without Susan for that long. Funny a few years ago I could go months between Susan time and now a couple weeks is hard. Any way I have been looking forward to tonight all week and just knowing I would be able to spend some time as Susan makes me happy and that is what counts.

I took my time getting ready tonight as to enjoy my time as Susan. I really do love every part of being Susan from getting ready to time spent as Susan it really is a wonderful part of my life and who I am. I was ready and on my way for a fun night out. I got to Sweethome a little before 7. I got there and Chris was there playing pool. I ordered dinner and and got out my computer to catch up on some e-mails. Dinner tonight was a New York steak dinner one of my favorites. When my dinner came I put my computer away for the rest of the night.

Karen showed up tonight and she ordered the special also as it really was good. It was good to see here again. We talked and somehow we got on the subject of our first times going out and how scared we were. We really have come a long way over the last few years. we also talked about when we started and we both have memories of wanting to dress or playing with makeup from the age of 5 or 6. Kind of make you wonder why some of us have these desires, some want to transition and some don’t but we all have the desire to be feminine.

Rachael also showed up tonight. She is getting out more now. I have known Rachael for many years, she is one of my oldest friends that I have met as Susan, probably 10 years or more. It was good to see her also and she joined in our conversations about our first times going out and our first time we met each other. It is fun to think back about people and the first time you met them. This is one of the reasons I started my blog so I could record my life and time as Susan and the wonderful people I have met.

Roxy also showed up tonight so we had 5 of us. The other group was here tonight and they had a Corset night, yes almost all of them had on a corset of some sort. It was also good to see them also. it was a fun night.

Now it has been a long and busy week and I have been up late every night and early every morning so I wouldn’t be out late. Karen and Rachael left and then Roxy, I made it till about 10:30 but by then I had to call it a night. It was a lot of fun though and tomorrow night is Harvey’s night so I will get another chance to go out as Susan with my friends and have a fun night.

Thanks for reading

December 5, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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