Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Sunday Susan time and shopping

It is Sunday and as I have not gotten out much this month yet I wanted some more Susan time and I also needed to write my blog from Saturday night at the Escape so I figured a little Starbucks time. I also need to pick some things up at the store so that will also be on my list. it was a little after 3 when I started getting ready and I was out the door and at the Starbuck’s by my house by 4:15. A quick selfie in the car before I went in. They were not busy and I was able to get a table along the window, I like these tables as I can plug my computer in but also it is more in the middle and very visible not like I am hiding in a corner. I put my computer on the table and went and got in line to order my drink. Now the staff here all knows me pretty well as I do come here a lot for my personal Susan time. The young man behind the counter welcomed me back by name before I even ordered or paid so he remembered not only me but my name which makes you feel wonderful. I got my drink and sat down and wrote my blog from Saturday night at the Escape.

It really is a relaxing way to spend a couple hours, just sitting at Starbuck’s as Susan with a drink, sweetened green tea and working on my blog, e-mail or even work. It just feels so perfectly normal and I really don’t even think about how I am dressed other then seeing my nails or the long hair out of the corner of my eye. I am just here as myself and today that is Susan. I stayed here till a little after 6 before I headed for Walmart to do some shopping. It is really nothing for Susan well just everyday things I need and some food so I guess it could be for Susan also depending on when I eat it or use it. It is funny as years ago I would go shopping for Susan’s stuff as my male self. Then I started shopping for Susan as Susan and now I do shopping for my male self as Susan so I guess I have come full circle. I really have grown over the last 10 plus years.

I left Starbucks about 6:30 and went to Walmart to do some shopping, it was fun just walking around just ding my day to day shopping and really didn’t think much about how I was dressed. I got my groceries and left and stopped by Panda Express and got some dinner to go and headed home. it was a short and relaxing time out.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

March 10, 2020 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Thursday Susan time and some shopping

Well it is Thursday and it turns out I have today off as I have to work this weekend so I figured I would get some Susan time in. now there are some things I needed to do and I figured why not do them as Susan. now I need to go to Costco as I am running out of some things so that was on my list as well as a stop at Walmart to get some Susan stuff, makeup, I need some mascara, face powder, lipstick and a few other things. I got up at 7:30 to get ready and take my time preparing for the day. I did my makeup pretty light as I wanted to blend in the best I could although I did do the false eye lashes. I am getting better at them but I need to have time when I do them in case I mess up, at least till I get better. I was ready by 9 am and yes, I think I did my best job on my false eye lashed today. It is only the 3rd of 4th time I have done them but they look great and I really can’t even tell I have them on so I must have got them on right.

The plan today is Costco, Walmart and a visit to the Cemetery to put flowers on my Dads grave. Now this means going down towards the south east side of Portland so I figured I would go to the Costco on Airport way and as it was still before 10, I decided the Walmart I would go to is the one by Troutdale so that was where I headed for first. I got to Walmart and it was still cold out so I wore my coat and went in. Now as I said I needed several things for Susan, some Q-tips, Baby Oil as I am used the last of mine last night to remove my lip stick, I use Maybelline Lip Ink and you have to have baby oil to get it off. So, as I put it on this morning, I knew I had to come home with baby oil today. Also needed some face powder, more of the lip ink as I am just about out of my favorite color, and also some perfume as I am almost out of that. The perfume I like is called Fantasy by Brittny Spears. I originally bought this one because it was pink and cute but I really like the scent. Last was some mascara, I try to replace mine every 6 months at the most as I don’t like putting things that are old that close to my eyes the problem is, I never really run out of mascara as I don’t use it that fast. It was just before 10 when I left here and headed back to Costco.

I got to Costco about 10:15 and went in. I have a Susan Costco card as they let me ad my female self to my account. I grabbed a cart and started shopping. Mostly just stuff I needed for the house, toilet paper, paper towels, laundry soap, fabric softener, batteries, dove bar soap, and I think there were a couple other things I picked up oh and some flowers for the Cemetery. Then it was up to stand in line. now this Costco has a self-checkout and the lines are way shorter there so that is where I went. As busy as they were no one seemed to pay any attention to me. I loaded my stuff in the car and then went to get some gas as long as I was here of course the line for gas took longer then the line in the store. I did get a quick selfie in the car as I waited. After I got gas it was off to the Cemetery.

I got to the Cemetery a little after 11 and there was a big funeral today so lost of traffic so it took me a little while to get to where my Dad is. Now this is where they seemed to be working, there was 5 men in this section prepping a whole, a couple working on replacing the temporary markers with head stones and probably 5 men weeding and trimming the bushes around the edge. They were all at least 30 feet from where I was but I did wonder if they noticed me, I don’t think from that distance they would have figured it out that I was not female. I placed the flowers and stayed there probably 20 minutes. I can’t explain it but I just feel better about going here as Susan even though my Dad never knew about this side of my life.

From the Cemetery I headed back for home, as I got close, I realized it was almost moon so I stopped at Wendy’s for lunch, they were actually pretty busy but mostly woman here, some with children but a couple groups of 4 or 5 woman out for lunch. I got my food and sat where I could watch the news on TV as I ate. Now I have till about 3 today before I have to be home so I still had a few hours so I left and went to the Starbucks I go to near my house. I got there about 12:40 so I still had 2 ½ hours.

I went in and they were pretty busy, I couldn’t get one of the tables along the window as a matter of fact the only table open was in the front corner so that is where I set up my computer to relax and write my blogs and catch up on e-mails and some work. I wrote my blog from Wednesday night’s dinner and started on this blog also while it was fresh in my mind. I stayed here till 3 before heading for home as I have to be someplace by 4 and I need time to get home and wash away all traces of Susan.

It was a really fun and relaxing day and I got a lot of stuff I had to done and the best part I did them as Susan. it is funny as 15 years ago I would go out as my male self to get things for Susan and now I go out as Susan to get things my male self needs. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.


February 28, 2020 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Le Bistro Montage

Well it is Wednesday and our group is going to Le Bistro Montage for dinner. Now the week kind of got away from us so we didn’t get it posted to our group till Tuesday night so I figured with such short notice it would be a small turnout and by Wednesday afternoon it looked like it would just be Barb, Melissa and me for dinner. Now I had hoped to get home early but traffic was bad so it was 5:40 when I got home from work so it would be a rush job to get ready as it takes me 30 to 45 minutes to get there depending on traffic. It is not as much fun getting ready when I have such a short time but having dinner with my friends would make up for it. I was ready and out the door by 6:15. I got to Le Bistro Montage about 6:50 and I normally park right around the corner as there is always parking spots and tonight was no exceptions as I could only see 1 car in the angle parking spots on the street. Now as I got on the block, I figured out why. The whole block on the sidewalk was tent after tent of people camping. You really couldn’t even walk down the sidewalk but worse then that the camps had 3 open fires burning to keep warm or cook I am not sure but either way I did not want to park there so oi drove around the corner and there happened to be a spot almost right in front of the door that I was just able to get my car into, I have a small car which is good at times like this.

I went in and Melissa was already there, she had told them we had 4 as Joan posted late, she might make it. Now the one bad thing about Le Bistro Montage is they don’t take reservations and you have to have more then half your group here before they will seat you and as we had 4 we needed at least 3 of us, so Melissa and I stood and talked as we waited for Barb which was only a few minutes. We were shown to our table well part of a table as they have a few really long tables that they put people at so we were kind of next to the group next to us. We have come here several times and every time I have been here; we get basically the same seats. Our waiter came over and got our drink orders as we waited to see if Joan would make it. I did get a quick selfie as we waited.

Now as we waited, we talked with Melissa as we wanted to here all about what is going on in her life. I will give you a quick rundown. Her new years resolution in 2019 was to come out to her Mom which she did right before Christmas, took her almost the whole year but she did it and we are so proud of her. Anyway, to this year, in the end of January she talked with her Human Resources about her being Transgender and it went well so she came out at work a little over a week ago right before she went on Vacation to go visit Julie & Trixie. Well while she was on vacation, she got acrylic nails, square natural and a very modest length but they look awesome. So, she worked Monday and Tuesday as her boy self and everyone seemed very supportive of her and now, she is off or working from home the rest of the week and this coming Monday she will go to work as Melissa. So awesome for her, I really am jealous of her nails. I don’t want to transition but I would love to have pretty nails like hers all the time. Any way this was most of the conversation for the night, we even saw pictures from her trip with Julie and Trixie. I am so looking forward to Diva Las Vegas so I can see Julie again as she winters down south.

We ordered our food and of course I had my normal. I am not real adventurous on my food; I know what I like and a tend to stay with it. Our food came and just after that Joan showed up so there were 4 of us tonight. Now we had to catch Joan up on Melissa and what is going on with her life. Joan transitioned several years back and what is interesting is Joan knows one of Melissa’s co-workers who is also transgender and transitioned a year ago. We had a wonderful dinner and, in a way, it was nice that it was such a small group as it really did give us a chance to really talk between us. After dinner we did order desert kind of, Barb and Joan split a dessert and I talked Melissa into splitting one with me. It really was a wonderful evening and after we ate our dessert we sat and talked some more. It was just a fun night and I was in no hurry to see it end. I have to work this weekend so won’t be able to get out on Saturday night but because of it I have tomorrow off so I can sleep in and I plan on having some Susan time early in the day. Now Le Bistro Montage is actually open till 2am so we could have stayed really late if we wanted but it was a little after 9:30 when we called it a night. now next week I am not sure if I will get out as I have family coming to town and I am not sure how long they will stay so I really have to enjoy Thursday this week as it may be over a week till I get my next chance to get out as Susan.

We said our goodbyes and we were on our way home. It really was a fun night. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 27, 2020 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday and a little shopping and dinner at Amaro’s table

Well today is Wednesday and I actually have the whole day to be Susan. my plan was to do a little shopping and I was going to Washington Square. Now I got up today and got ready, taking my time as I plan on being out all day and then going to Dinner tonight. The perfect test for the Setting spray bought yesterday. I have never used one so it will be a good test. My goal was to leave home by 9:30 but I was a little late as at the last minute I decided to wear my corset to give me a good figure, I also decided to wear my darker hair. If I can get my makeup just right, I think it looks good on me. It was about 9:45 when I left home and for some reason it was still like rush hour traffic. I didn’t get to Washington Square till about 10:30. I parked by Nordstrom’s and went in, of course I got a quick selfie. Now Washington Square is smaller than Clackamas Town Center but you don’t realize till you go to one right after the other. I went down to Macy’s and looked at some of their clothes I found a dress I liked but it was too small. I also looked at Shoes here.

I then walked down to JC Penny’s and looked around; they also had a huge closeout section up to 60% off. Also checked out their shoe department but didn’t find anything. I walked through the mall and checked out a few other stores including Victoria’s Secret, I love looking around this store and it was actually one of the busier stores in the mall. I walked through the food court as it was lunch time but I really wasn’t hungry, could be because of the corset I am wearing. So back down to the mall and walked around a little more and then I went into Dick’s Sporting Good. I looked around a little before going back into the mall and back to my car it was a little after 1 when I left and headed for home well at least closer to home. This mall is the farthest from where I live and I have to go on 3 different freeways and all can back up during rush hour so I didn’t want to chance it. It took me about 45 minutes to get back close to home so I decided to go to a Starbucks by Vancouver Mall as I didn’t want to go to the one, I normally go to as I had different hair on today and they have only seen my in one hair style.

It was just about 2 pm when I got to the Starbucks I picked and went in. they were a little busy mostly to go orders as this one does not have a drive through. I got a table by the window and ordered a drink and a cookie. I checked my e-mails and answered some and then just caught up on some news and pretty much just killing some time and people watching. Starbucks is a wonderful place to go for a couple hours and just relax. Now as I said I was people watching and I noticed a man probably in his 40’s on a cell phone waiting for his drink. He had slightly greying hair and a mustache but he also had a beautiful set of acrylic nails and they alternated between green and red and each one had a design on them and they were probably ¼ inch long. Now I know a couple of the girls in our group have acrylic nails, Jan and Kimberly and they are keeping them even in their male modes but the fact this man had a mustache I don’t think he dresses so I found that interesting. He got his drink and was gone. I stayed here till a little after 4 before heading for home to get cleaned up and go meet my friends for dinner. It was about 4:30 when I got home.

Now I thought about taking the corset off but really it is pretty comfortable other than limiting how you move so I decided to keep it on and see how I feel tonight as by the time I get home from dinner I will have had it on for about 12 hours. Now I wanted to change my shoes to heels, put a skirt on and pantyhose instead of the leggings I wore today so that was a little work. It is a lot harder to do these things when you really can’t bend over much and when you bend as much as you can you can’t breathe so it took a little time and effort. Once that was done, I touched up my makeup which held up pretty well, maybe that setting spray does work, Thanks Karen for the tip. Next came my normal hair well at least the one I wear to Starbucks as it was only 5:15 now and I had 2 choices. Sit at home till 6:30 before going to dinner or going to my Starbucks for about an hour and you guess which one won out. it was about 5:300 when I got to Starbucks and went in. I got my table along the window and something to drink and started on my blog from today. I stayed here till 6:30 before heading to meet my friends for dinner.

I got to Amaro’s table about 6:45, parked and went in, Melissa and Karen were already there so I joined them and waited for the others to show up. we had 6 say they would be here tonight. I did get another quick selfie. By the way this is my makeup I put on at 9 am this morning, the only thing I did was a little face powder to cut the shine down. My makeup held up really well. By 7 Kimberly had shown up with her wife and Barb also made it so all 6 of us were here tonight. It was good to see everyone. We talked for a little bit before we ordered dinner. Now our waiter was awesome tonight but every time we have come here the staff has been wonderful. I ordered my normal classic fried chicken which is wonderful.

We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation, we sat and talked for a good 30 minutes after we finished eating. It was a wonderful night. it was about 9:15 when we called it a night. Karen wanted a few pictures so I took a couple of her outside on the side walk and she looked awesome. She also took a few pictures of me. Now Barb has an electric car so she parked over at the PUD to charge her car and walked the 12 blocks to Amaro’s so I gave her a ride back to her car so we could plan tomorrow. Barb and I are going shopping and to lunch. She gave me her address and I am going to pick her up so we can ride together, it will be a fun day. I got home just before 10 so I have worn my corset for over 12 hours and I will admit I was ready to take it off, the last hour was ruff. I think 10 hours is about the max I can wear it comfortably.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my newest blog to see what is new in my life.

February 5, 2020 Posted by | Dinner out, shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tuesday and some shopping with Karen

Well it is Tuesday and I am going shopping with Karen, as you can tell from my blog I didn’t make it out Sunday to Starbucks but I did go and get a pedicure and manicure at Julie’s Nails. I was in the area as my male self and stopped in. I have only gone here as my male self so they don’t know about Susan and by the time I got done it was after 5 so there wasn’t time to go home and get ready and go out. now back to today. I don’t have the day free till about 5:30 so I was going out to do a little shopping and posted to the group and Karen wanted to go so we planned on meeting at Clackamas Town Center at 10 am for a little shopping and lunch. Traffic was a little more than I thought so I texted Karen I might be late and she was also running a little behind so we were good. Well shortly after I texted her traffic opened up and I got there right before 10 so I parked by JC Pennies and went into Barns & Nobble right next door to kill some time till Keren got there, I did get a selfie to start the day. It was only about 10 minutes and Keren called me and said she was parking also by JC Pennies so I told her I would meet her by their main door.

I got down to meet Karen and we were off on our shopping adventure. It really would be a fun day as I have known Karen for several years but this is our first-time shopping together so being just the two of us it would give us a good chance to talk and really get to know each other. Now being as we were in Pennies we started there as they have a nice discount section. Karen found a couple items she liked and I found 2 dresses a back one and a red one both really pretty but they are size 16 but stretchy. Now I wear between a size 16 & 18 depending on how they size them so we both went in to try our items on. Now both mine have zippers up the back which I try to avoid as well let’s face it I am not as flexible as woman and I can’t do zippers by myself. Now they were a little tight but I was able to get them on and the pull them up high enough I could reach over my shoulder and zip them up little by little, not really graceful or sexy but then I dress at home by myself so no one will see the trouble I have. As I said they are just a little tight but I am working on dropping some weight, I am down 10 LB since December 1st . I decided to buy mines as did Karen, My Dresses were only $28 each which I was happy about. A lot of time I go out and never buy anything as it really is just about being out as Susan.

Well we headed out into the mall and walked down to Nordstrom’s as Karen was looking for some makeup from Clinique, she likes but Nordstrom’s didn’t have it so we headed for Macy’s as they also have a big cosmetic section. Really, we were just having a fun time walking along and talking. On the way we pasted Torrid, Karen had never been in one so I said we had to go in and look. Well we looked around and Karen found the clearance section actually the lady working here pointed it out ass they had just put things in that section on sale, buy 1 get 2 free. Well Karen found a really cute sweater and a coat, not really a winter coat but a nice warm coat but couldn’t find a 3rd item and the sales lady sensing a sale said she could probably work something out. well I was looking at the coat Karen was trying on and it really was cute and heavier than anything I have. Yes, I really don’t have outside Susan stuff so I went and looked and they had one in my size also. Buy the way the reason Torrid is nice is I am a size 1 there. So, I asked Karen if she had found a 3rd item and she said no so I suggested I get the coat so Karen would have 3 items for the sale and I would give her a 1/3rd of the price which she liked. Of course, now Karen and I both have the same coat so we look like twin sisters if we both wear them. Back into the mall and down to Macy’s where Karen found what she was looking for and then on the way out she stopped at the Urban Decay counter to pick up a setting spray. Now I have never used one but talking to the lady there I decided to get one and try it. Mostly my makeup does fine as it is usually for only a few hours but for days like today where I will be out all day or when I go to Diva Las Vegas my makeup does show some wear by the end of the day so this will be something new for me to try. Yes, it is a more expensive day then my normal trips out as I have now bought things at 3 different stores and usually if I buy anything it is just one. Really does feel like a girl’s day out shopping.

It was shortly after 12 now so we decided to go get lunch, we settled on California Pizza and off we went. Now really the mall was not that busy and neither was California Pizza so we got a table right away. I did get another quick selfie here. We ordered lunch, yes, we both had a personal but it came with a salad so all is good. We just sat and talked and had a wonderful lunch. I really do like this going shopping with someone else as it just makes it more fun. Thursday I will go with Barb and Friday with Peggy if everything goes well. We sat here for over an hour before we got back to our shopping. We walked across into DSW to look at shoes. They have sone really cute ones but hard to find in my size. I do want to get another pair of casual sneaker type shoe’s for Diva Las Vegas this year so that will be on my to-do for this week also some casual outfits.

Well we left here and back into the mall, we got down to Macy’s home furnishings and they had some woman’s clothes in the front so we went in to look at them. While in here I took a few pictures of Karen and she got a couple of me which is nice. I can get selfies of my face but you can’t get a full body selfie, you need someone else to take those pictures. Thanks Karen these pictures look great. We spent a little more time walking around the mall just talking before heading for Pennies and the exit to where we had both parked. It was really fun and we walked out together and it turns out Karen parked right opposite my car; we could not have planned it any better. It was a really fun day out with her.

It was only 2:30 and I was able to beet traffic so when I got close to home it was only 3 and I have till 4:30 so I stopped at the Starbucks’s near my home for a warm drink and to right my blog from today. It has been a really wonderful day. I am not sure what I will do tomorrow as I really do have the whole day tomorrow, I will go out to dinner with my friends but I will also have the day free to be Susan.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what I am doing now.

February 4, 2020 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Mothers Bistro

Well another Wednesday evening and I am going out to dinner with my friends. I really do look forward to this every week. Now I posted it in our group and there were 3 of us going but by Wednesday afternoon 2 more posted they would be there. Now with only 5 I didn’t think we needed to make reservations. I got home and quickly started getting ready, I was ready and on my way by 6 as I did want to get there a little early and get our name in the list. I got downtown and found a parking spot across the street. I went in and they were not that busy wo we really had no problem but I gave my name and told them we had 5 at 7 and then I sat and waited for others to show up.

Jennifer was the first followed by Barb, Kimberly and then Karen. We were shown to our table and our waitress came and took our drink orders and told us about the specials. We talked for a little before we ordered and it is nice when we have these small groups as it is easy to talk with everyone. Now I did get a couple of selfies tonight. Now Karen sat across from me so I got a good chance to talk with her which was nice as she really does not get out that often. Next week I have a few days off and will be able to get out at least a little several days in a row and I ama hoping Karen will be able to go out shopping with me one of those days. It would be a lot of fun; I am actually going to post in our group in hopes of getting some of the girls out shopping.

Our food came and yes, I got my normal dinner here, what can I say I know what I like. Our waitress was wonderful and treated us great. We had a wonderful dinner and wonderful conversation, just an awesome evening. We even sat and talked after we finished as they were not that busy. It was after 9 before we called it a night. It really is amazing how fast these dinners go by. Now I am looking forward to next week. I probably won’t get out on Saturday but I am hoping to get out Sunday afternoon, Tuesday till midafternoon, Wednesday the whole day, Thursday till midafternoon and Friday I am planning on going shopping and to lunch with Peggy. It will be a lot of fun and get me a chance to get some new outfits for Diva Las Vegas.

Thanks for reading and be sure my most recent blog to keep up with what I am doing now.

January 31, 2020 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday quiet time at Starbucks

Okay it is Sunday and I am gong to get some Susan time at Starbucks. One of my goals for this year is to go out at least 136 times (136 blogs) as that would be my best year 2016 of 135. That means I need to average 11 times per month but more then that I really do enjoy my time at Starbucks. There are things I need to get done on my computer and it is fun to do them as Susan, plus it is just more fun to blog about Susan when I am out as Susan. now with that I am already planning my next vacation. I an taking the first week of February off as I have vacation time I need to use and I have some things I need to take care of mostly around the house. I won’t be able to get my nails done but my hope is to get out a little each day and maybe get a couple of full days in.

Well I have about 3 hours of work I need to do and I do need to write my Blog from last night at the Escape and maybe start this blog so I figure I need 4 to 5 hours at Starbucks. I often wonder what they think when they see me sitting here by myself for that long but I have seen other people here by themselves for long periods of time but I think they are students studding. Well I started getting ready about 2:30 with the hopes of being to Starbucks by 3:30, they close at 8:30 and that would give me 5 hours. I was pretty close as I got to Starbucks about 3:50 and went in. they were a little busy, all the tables along the window were taken, I like them as I can plug my computer in and if I am going to be here almost 5 hours I will need to. well I set my computer on one of the middle tables and went up to order my drink. The girls all said hi and the young man ho waited on me remembered my name and asked me how I have been so chatted with him for a few minutes before I ordered as there was no one in line behind me. Well this worked out great s by the time I got my drink and was walking back to my table the lady at one of the tables by the window left so I just sat my drink on tat table and then went and got my computer and moved it over. Starbucks really is a good place to go and people watch and most people here are busy either working / doing school work, reading or involved in a conversation with someone and really pay no attention to people around them. If you are looking for a place to go this is a great place.

Now to break it up I spent the first hour doing some of my work and then I switched over to write my blog from last night. it is so much more fun doing my blog as Susan as I feel more like I am writing about myself, Susan writing about Susan not my male self, writing about Susan. that may sound strange but it makes total sense to me. Well after I finished my blog I went up and got a hot chocolate and a cookie. Well the young man at the counter got talking to me again and he asked what I do here, if I was working, or just chilling out as he put it. I told him a little of both, I just found it less distraction here as if I was at home, I would have the TV on and he understood that as he does online classes and he knows how easy it is to get distracted. I actually thought about telling him I write my blog here but didn’t. I really think they all think I am full time as I only come here as Susan and for right now I want to keep it that way, I don’t think it would matter or that they would treat mem different but Starbucks is my Susan place and I want to keep that. With my blog done and posted it was back to do some work. I actually do get more done here in a shorter time as there really are less distraction.

It really does bring normalcy to my life as Susan, now I am not saying being Susan is not normal but for years I hid in my room never even imagining I could go out side as Susan. by coming to Starbucks as Susan and doing some work that my male self would normally do and being here where others are doing kind of the same thing it just reinforces the feeling that Susan is more than just something I do on the side for fun, she is a functioning part of my life and actually contributes to who I am. Again, this makes sense to me. Plus, when Susan buys things it is kind of like she earned some of the money she spends. 2 years ago, I started tracking what Susan Spends in Quicken (yes, I use Quickens) and I also put in money she gets as we have gotten a few small checks from the State of Oregon from the law suit back in 2012 with the Pclub. I don’t think what they have collected so far has even kept up with the interest they are charging Chris Penner but I figured I would keep track and if you are wondering my male self is generous as in the last 2 years Susan has spent more money on herself then my male self. Got a little sidetracked there but I really do think being out as Susan and actually doing some of my work has really helped me embrace this side of me.

I finished my work about 7 and tool a little time to start my blog for today at Starbucks of course I will have to finish it later after I get home but I wanted to write what I could as Susan. if I can get most of it written here I can finish it up quickly when I get home and as I will stop for something to eat it will be almost 9 when I get home and as I get up early for work I need to be in bed by 10 or shortly after. I was trying to think when I first went to a Starbucks without going through all my blogs the best guess is the summer of 2009, I made my first trip to Starbucks. Back then I spent an over an hour getting ready, drove 30 minutes to a Starbucks 15 miles away, spent an hour or so there and then 30 minutes home and cleanup time. Now I go to a Starbucks less than a mile from my house, wow how things have changed. Now toward the end a man came in and at first, I thought I saw him take a picture of me so I was kind of watching him. Well it turns out he was taking pictures all over the inside and walking back into the back room and taking notes. I am thinking they might be planning a remodel inside but either way I am sure I am in some of the pictures he took.

It was about 8 when I left Starbucks and I just went home to get something to eat. It was a fun outing. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

January 20, 2020 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner at Old Spaghetti factory

Well it is Wednesday and once again I get to go out with my friends for dinner and that is awesome. Tonight we are going to the Old Spaghetti Factory on the Willamette river. We have gone here many times before and tonight I arrange dinner, last night I called and made reservations for 12 as we have 10 for sure and 2 maybes. I got off work a little early so I had a little more time to enjoy getting ready. I was on my way by 6 and got to the Old Spaghetti Factory about 6:40 as there was a lot of traffic. Jennifer and Danika were already there waiting. It wasn’t long and others started showing up, Kimberly, Barb, Joan, Melissa and April so by 7 there were 8 of us and they called us for our table. We had a table in the middle near the window looking out on the river although it was dark and rainy and you couldn’t see anything.

We sat and talked as we waited for a few others, Patty showed up and finally Cassandra so we had 10 and the last 2 and let me know they wouldn’t make it. It was great Cassandra could make it as she has not been able to come out a lot lately. Now I sat towards the middle so I could talk with everyone. Now Cassandra and I talked a little about Diva Las Vegas which is less than 3 months away, March 29th to April 3rd. Cassandra and I are going for sure as is Brenda and I think Julie and Veronica will also go so we should have at least 5 from our group. Right now, they are doing registration for those who have gone before, soon they will open it up to those on their e-mail list and then finally open to everyone so if you are thinking of going sign up for their email list. It really is a fun event. We all talked and had a great time. We finally ordered and I had their Chicken Parmesan which is awesome but really all their food is good and our waitress was wonderful.

Our food came and we had a nice dinner with wonderful conversation, what more could a girl ask for. These Wednesday night dinners really are the most fun. We sit and enjoy each other’s company and have a nice meal. It is just a n normal night out like everyone else. Jennifer took a picture of me plus I got my normal Selfie. I really am trying to get a picture each time I go out to go with my blog. It is hard to believe this is my 1252 blog, 20 years ago I couldn’t even imagine going out yet alone going out that many times. I have dome so many things as Susan over the last 10 years, shopping, going out to dinner, movies, traveling including 8 times to Las Vegas, Starbucks, getting my nails done. It really has been a wonderful time and made even more special by my friends. I really am a lucky girl. I wish I would have or could have done this earlier in my life. For those just starting out the advice I would give to you is be confident and smile. Both of those things go a long way at putting people at ease and helping them accept you. Also, if you can find some friends that accept you for you then you have hit the lottery.

After dinner we sat and talked till after 9, they actually close at 9 so we were pretty much the last to leave but as the staff was busy cleaning up, they didn’t say anything to us. It was about 9:30 when we left. It really was a great night out and always sad to see it come to an end. I will of course be out this Saturday night again at the Escape but not sure if I will be able to get to Starbucks on Sunday. My goal this year is to make it out 136 times. Right now, 2016 was my best year with 135 blogs or times as Susan.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

Hope to see some of you in Las Vegas at Diva Las Vegas.

January 11, 2020 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sunday and finally a chance for a little Susan time at Starbucks.

It is Sunday and I am going to get a little Susan time at Starbucks. This is one of my goals for this year as I really do enjoy my quiet time at Starbucks, I can go there and do some of my work and also catch up on my blogs and e-mails. Yes, I could sit at home and do it just as easy but it is nice to be out as Susan with other people. It is a place you can go and no one really cares or bothers you as there are a lot of people who go her by themselves with their computers. Well I have a couple hours of work I need to do and to write my blog from last night at the Escape and also catch up on e-mails so I figured I needed about 4 hours. The one I usually go to is open to 8:30 not the closest to my house but less then a mile away. My goal was to get there by 4.

I started getting ready about 2:30 and was on my way and got to Starbucks about 3:45 and went in. They were not super busy about 15 people inside but there was a table along the window where I could plug my computer in which is nice if I am going to be here for a while as my computer is getting old and my battery only last about 2 ½ hours now. I set my computer on the table and went up to order my drink. The young man behind the counter greeted me and asked how my holiday was calling me by name which is nice as it has been a couple months since I have been here. We talked briefly before I ordered, it is just a really good feeling to be treated so nice, really all the people here are great and for that matter I don’t think I have ever been to a Starbucks where I wasn’t treated nice. Maybe that is one of the reasons I like going here. Starbucks was really the first mainstream (non-LGBT) place I went and I think that may be why I like coming here so much. My selfie in the car before going in.

I got my drink and started on my work. Now I have not come out to anyone I work with about this part of my life but it is nice I can actually do some of my work as Susan and that helps make Susan part of my everyday life not just a side note in my life. It really does help make Susan a normal part of my life plus it brings a smile to my face as I wonder what work would think if they knew. Now our group has had a lot of discussion lately about coming out to people and I will give my thoughts on it. For me I look at it this way, I am not transitioning and Susan is just part of who I am and so I don’t feel the need to tell everyone. I figure if I am not going to be Susan at work they don’t need to know. Kind of like I don’t talk golf with my friends who don’t like golf. Now I will admit I have thought about what some of my friends would say and there are a few I have thought about telling but I just don’t see the benefit of telling them and risking a friendship. Now I know what some will say, if they are really your friend, they will accept you but I look at it like politics. I have some very liberal friends and some very conservative friends. I respect their views and as such we don’t talk politics. For me this falls into the same category. That being said this is how I feel and what is right for me it does not mean that everyone hast to feel the same as we are all different. Now if you are transitioning then yes, I feel you should tell others or if you are in a relationship with someone, they have the right to know as your life and theirs intertwine. Now I did not tell any of the women I was in a relationship with but back then I had convinced myself I could stop for the right woman. I know now that is not true so yes if or when I get in m my next relationship Susan will have to come up which is very scary.

Anyway, back to our group, one of our girls who is heading in the way of transitioning had as her goal to come out to her Mother in 2019. Well she worked on it, talked with others, got information from them when they came out. Had all kinds of information, and talking points for all the possible arguments and was working up the courage. Well about 1 ½ weeks before Christmas she went over to her mom’s house to come out to her. she said it was the hardest think she had done. Well she came out to her mom and was ready with all her talking points and what actually happened was her mom told her she loved her and accepted her for who she was. well a week later she did the same thing with her sister and got pretty much the same reaction. So, she posted this in our group and several of the girls have posted back about their experiences coming out. It really did bring out a lot of good discussion and that is great. I really thank her for being so open about her experience. Our group is such a wonderful group and we have members who have fully transitioned and live full time to those who are struggling to take that first step out the door and every place in between and I hope this can help some. I know a lot of girls think they can never make it out and they see others making it look so easy and that may make it harder but trust me we were all there that first time. I wrote a blog several months back about my first attempt to go out and how hard it was for me, actually took me 4 times going out to get out of the car. If you are interested here is the blog of my first timeout. I look back on those nights and now how I travel as Susan to Diva Las Vegas and live as Susan for almost two weeks at a time and it seems those are to different people but they are not.

The best advice I can give is there is nothing wrong with you if you are transgender. It is who you are. Try and find some friends even if just online but if you can find some friends to go out with you have hot the lottery. The friends I have made in our group are my best and closest friends and some I view more as family. They have changed my life in ways I never imagined possible and I would not be the person (lady and man) I am now without them. We are all different but also the same in some ways.

Well I stayed at Starbucks till about 7:30 before leaving and stopping at Burger King drive through for some food before going home. it was a fun few hours and I got a lot done. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new and remember Diva Las Vegas is March 29t to April 4th. If interested sign up for their mailer. Hope to see you there. We will have at least 4 from our Portland group going but I am hopeful we will have closer to 10 or more.

January 6, 2020 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night dinner at Jakes Grill

Yes, this week we are mixing it up and doing a Friday night dinner Jakes Grill. I have been busy the last month in a half on Wednesday nights so this week we are doing a Friday night dinner. I like to think it is all about me but in reality, a couple of the girls couldn’t do Wednesday this week and Nicole is in town this week and could also do Friday night so we changed it up a little. This is going to be our Christmas dinner as Christmas is almost here and we are not sure we will be able to do a dinner next week being the week before Christmas and then the next two weeks are Christmas and New Years and this year they fall on Wednesday so this may be our last dinner this year. Now Melissa set this one up, thanks Melissa for making the reservations. Friday and Saturday nights are hard as most restaurants are busy and you really do need to have a reservation and need people to show up. Jakes Grill is a little pricier with dinners mostly between $30 and $60 although they do have a couple things around the $20, not some place I could afford all the time but once in a while it is nice to treat yourself to a really nice meal. I kind of look at it the same way I do when I treat myself to a pedicure or manicure. Now luckily our reservations are for 7:15 which gives me a little more time which I would need tonight.

I got home about 5:50 so it was a rush to get ready, the big thing was my dress which I picked out last night and that always speeds things up. now it was funny as at Who Songs last week I was telling a few of the girls about things I have forgotten getting ready, mostly jewelry but once I did get in my car without my hair and had to go back inside. Now I know you are thinking how can you forget something like that and I will tell you. Over the years I have gotten my routine down and I do things in the same order every time. If I get out of that order then it is easy to miss something. Well tonight was no exception. I got a phone call as I was doing my makeup and when I went back to getting ready, I missed my eyebrows. Not a big thing but I knew it although I doubt if anyone else even noticed. I was on my way at 6:30 and got downtown at 7 and went right for a parking garage as there was a lot of traffic in the city. Now it is only a b lock in a half away from Jakes so not that far so I wore my open toed heels with my dress as they really do look cute with the dress I wore tonight and they only have 3-inch heels. Now for the bad part I had to park on the 5th floor of the parking garage which in it self is not that bad but they are doing work on this garage and to my disappointment the elevators were out of order so I had to walk down 5 flights of stairs. I got to Jakes right at 7:15 and Nicole, Melissa and her wife were already there. As I expected they were busy to so it was good we had a reservation. It wasn’t long and Jennifer and her wife showed up so we had 7 of us tonight.

Now this is the first time our group has gone here and the first time I have ever been here so I was really looking forward to it. I really do love going new places. Our waiter came over and got our drink orders and he was really nice, as always, we got really good service as did all the tables around us. I ordered a steak tonight and it was really good. We all sat and talked and had a wonderful time. I really do like these dinners like this as we get to visit like everyone else here having dinner. It is such a normal thing to do and it can be hard at times to feel that way. I really do feel comfortable as Susan and she really is a big part of my life and for the most part when I am out, I really am not thinking about the fact I am Transgender but it has taken me a long time to feel this way. These dinners really do give the Susan side of my life a normality that I never thought I would find. After we ate our waiter brought the dessert menu and I was good and was not going to have anything till I saw the triple berry cheese cake and I gave in. now it really is not that bad as it had fresh Raspberries, Blueberries and Marion berries on it so I chose to look at it as healthy for the fresh fruit. We actually sat here a long time just talking as it was after 10 when we called it a night well almost did.

Melissa brought up we were only a few block, 4 blocks from Pioneer Courthouse Square where the have the big Christmas tree. Now it may seem funny as I have lived here for over 40 years and have only been to Pioneer Courthouse square maybe a dozen times and never at Christmas so Melissa, her wife, Nicole and I walked down there to check it out. Now yes, I had my heels and had not planned on that much walking but it wasn’t that bad. The worst part were my feet got cold as it was mid 40’s and I had open toed heels and there really is no insulation between your foot and the pavement. Heels are not designed to keep your feet warm, the price of cute shoes. As late as it was there were still a lot of people out down here and we were just part of the crowd.

Now of course being here at this time of year I had to get a picture so Nicol took a few of me with the tree in the background, it’s a big tree so we had to cut some off. I really do need to work on my poses for pictures as I just seem to look so stiff. I really did have on a cute dress but as it was cold, I had to wear my coat but still not a bad picture. B y the way you can see my cute heels and see why my feet were cold. Once I had my pictures, I took some of Nicole also, I mean how often do you get this chance. I asked Melissa if she wanted some pictures and she said no but her wife did so I took some pictures of her wife with the tree in the background and then I talked Melissa into getting some pictures so we all went home with pictures with the tree in the background. Would have been a great place to get a group picture. I really do love this time of year, yes, I am one of those people who would celebrate Christmas year-round and also listen to Christmas music.

Now we had the 4 blocks walk back to the parking garage, yes, we all parked in the same one. Melissa and her wife got a spot on the first floor, I am on the 5th and Nicole is on the 6th. It was a lot of walking in heels and we finished it with me walking up 5 flights of stairs. When we were at the kiosk to pay there was another couple waiting behind us and the lady said she loved my heels but she didn’t do them anymore. I thanked her as I do love getting compliments. We all said our goodbyes although I will see Nicole tomorrow at the Escape and Melissa on Wednesday most likely for dinner. It was almost 11 now so a late night for a dinner night, thankfully it was a Friday night and it would be even later as there was an accident on the freeway so it was like being in rush hour again and then once I got past that they opened the bridge so it took me almost an hour to get home so by the time I got cleaned up and in bed it was almost 12:30. Such a fun night though.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

December 15, 2019 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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