Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday morning and a little more Susan time

It is Saturday morning and I once again have a few hours, I can probably stay out till noon or so and after so long with no Susan time even that is a blessing. Now I didn’t get up as early as yesterday as it was a little after 7 when I rolled out of bed. Now I have no big plans just a little time at Starbucks and then lunch before going home to change. I figured if I could get out by 9 I would have 3 hours.

I was ready a little before 9 and on my way. I went to the Starbucks by my house and they were packed again no open seats that I could see so I drove to the one I was at yesterday and same thing. I had not thought about it being a Saturday morning. I decided I would try a new Starbuck I have never gone to before so I drove down by the mall as there is a Starbucks across the street in a shopping center but the stores are not open yet so I was hoping they would not be busy. I got there a little after 9 and went in. they were busy but there were open tables so I set my computer on one and went and ordered my hot chocolate. This one has no drive through so busy but most get theirs to go. Now there was one young man probably high school age that really looked at me a few times although the girls he was with paid no attention to me. Even after they left I saw him looking at me through the window so I just smiled at him which I think worked as he quickly looked away.

I spent a couple hours here catching up on e-mails and just relaxing and people watching. Now one thing I noticed was most of the customers were female here. I would say 70% of those who came in were female and most of the men who came in had a female with them. Just kind of a odd observation. I left a little after 11 and decided to go to Wendy’s for lunch as the one I normally go to is only a couple miles away. I got there and went in and there was just one couple in front of me and no one else inside, I guess I beet the lunch rush.

I ordered and then went and sat down to eat my lunch. As it got closer to noon more people came in and soon there was probably 15 to 20 people at about 8 different tables but no one seemed to pay any attention to me. Either they didn’t notice or just didn’t care. I had a nice lunch and took my time as I was just enjoying being out. It was about noon when I left and headed for home. I am hoping to get out more now but it will still be hard to plan to far ahead. It is amazing how relaxing and happy even a few hours as Susan can make me. I really have missed my Susan time and this side of my life. Susan is not my whole life but she is a big part of who I am and not being able to express all of you is hard.

I included a few pictures, 2 from my car and one inside Wendy’s. I think not being out I am more into taking pictures as I feel I missed the last few months.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new and also my blog from yesterday, I went to the cemetery and introduced Susan to my Dad in a manner of speaking.


October 14, 2018 Posted by | Starbucks, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Finally, a chance for a little Susan time.

Okay it has been almost a month since I have had a chance for a little Susan time. Things are still busy with my family and things I need to do after my Dad’s passing but Friday morning I had free and I just had to take the time for Susan. Now part of it is the fact I have never told my parents or any family member about Susan and I got thinking about my Dad and the daughter he never knew. I have thought a lot about this over the last week and so I decided Susan should go visit his grave and introduce herself. It may sound silly but it was something I needed to do.

I got up early 5:30am to start getting ready, I took my time as I wanted to look my best and as I have not been able to keep my nails looking pretty with the acrylic I dug out my old nail tips which I attach with double sided tape. I haven’t used these in a year in a half, I picked the red ones and got them all ready. I did my makeup and got dressed and then put on my nails and they looked so petty. It was just before 7 when I was ready and on my way. Now being a national cemetery, they open at 7am so I was right on time as it would take about 30 minutes to get there. This will be a first for Susan, going to a cemetery. I got close and decided to stop at Fred Meyers and pick up some flowers as I wanted my Dads daughter to make a good impression. Now this early Fred Myers was not busy and as luck would have it the door I went in was near the floral section so I picked out a nice bouquet and paid for it and was on my way.

I got to the cemetery about 7:45 and parked and walked to my Dad’s grave site. It is a couple hundred yards butt there is a nice walkway and then his site is only 4 away from the walk way so it really was easy to get to. I place the flowers on his gave and then I stood there for a few minutes before introducing myself although I know he knows now as I am sure he was looking down. I told him a little about myself as his daughter and how much I loved him. In a strange way it really did help me feel better. I stayed there about 30 minutes just talking with my dad and in a way, I got to share Susan with him. I know he was proud of me as his son and I think (hope) he is proud of me as his daughter. It was a really peaceful relaxing time. Now I will be taking my mom to visit him and that will be my male self but I am thinking I will be coming here as Susan when I come by myself. It was about 8:20 when I said goodbye and walked back to my car.

The drive home gave me time to think and I was so glad I came here as his daughter to visit him. I decided to go to Starbucks for a little while as I have till noon to be Susan. I went to the Starbucks by my house and got there at 9am and they were packed. I walked in with my computer and there was not an open seat anywhere and probably 10 people in line, this Starbucks does not have a drive through. With no place to sit I decided to go to the other one I have been going to as they have a drive through and shouldn’t be as busy. Its only a couple minutes away. I got there and there were probably 20 cars in line in the dive through and no parking close so I parked out in the parking lot and walked in and they were even busier. There were a couple seats at the big long table and on small table by the window open so I quickly put my computer on that table and went and took my place in line. there were only 3 people in front of me to order but there must have been 20 people waiting on their drinks. 9am on a Friday and they were this busy. I ordered my hot chocolate and then went and set up my computer an got it online before going and standing I line for my drink which took about 5 to 10 minutes. And there was still a line behind me. This is by far the busiest I have seen them here. I got my drink and sat down and started replying to e-mails as I have fallen behind on them with everything going on.

It also gave me time to think about my friend’s, they leave on their 7-day Mexican cruise tomorrow and several of them flew to LA yesterday and they flew as ladies. Peggy, Casandra, Julie and Trixie flew out yesterday, Julie sent me pictures of her and Cassandra on the plane, they looked so awesome. I really wished I could have gone but there was just no way with everything going on. I am really hoping our group does another one of these cruises in a year or two and I so want to be Susan for one and fly as Susan. I will be thinking a lot about my sisters on the cruise and the fun they are having. These ladies really are my family and I am so lucky o haver them in my life. It really has been a great morning.

I stayed here at Starbucks till 11 before I went over to Subway for lunch.

October 12, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Little Susan time Sunday afternoon

It is Sunday and I am going to try and sneak a couple hours of Susan. My Dad is not doing well at all the last few days, Friday being the worst. Today he is a little better and they have some friends over so I am going to take advantage and sneak out. The plan was a quick trip to Starbucks for a couple hours. Now I have been going to the one just a little further away, about a ½ mile as it is bigger with more seats. I got all dressed up and was on my way by 3. I got to Starbucks and took a quick selfie before going in. there were no cars parked in front so I figured I would have the place to myself, but I was wrong. Probably the busiest I have seen this Starbucks, only the long bench table with high chairs and one table right in the middle open, there were probably 20 people here, I guess they all walked here. I took the open table and put my computer on it and went and ordered my drink.

Now I have been coming to this one for two reasons, one it is bigger and also, I have been coming here as my male self also. As a matter of fact, I stopped here last night for a couple hours to do some work. I got up to the counter to order and it is the same young girl who took my order last night as my male self. I ordered my drink and kind of watched to see if there was any sign she recognized me but as far as I could tell she didn’t. with my drink in hand I went back to my table and sat down to do some work on my computer. Now my plan for the night was to stay here till 6 or 6:30 then go home clean up and then go check on my parents. I got my work I had to get done, done and then started checking e-mails and Facebook. I got a text from Julie who wanted to know if I went out last night and I texted back no and that with my Dad I didn’t know when I would be out but I was out for a little bit now. She asked how long I would be out and if I wanted to meet and talk and of course I did as I really miss her. We agreed to meet at the Starbucks on Mill plain off I-205 which I have been to before, of course she would be in boy mode.

I got there a little after 5 and Julie was already there, she was shorter though as I had my ankle boots on with heels and she was in sandals. We both got a hot chocolate and sat down and started talking. We talked a little about my parents and where my Dad is which is not good and then we talked about other things more pleasant such as our group and the cruise coming up. I won’t be going but I am looking forward to all the pictures and stories from Julie and Cassandra about the trip. It really did help me take my mind off things going on in my life. Julie is so awesome and I am so lucky to have her as a friend. Last week I got to spend a few hours with Cassandra and Peggy who are also wonderful and take my mind off things. Even yesterday one of my longest friends who I have known for 35 plus years came over and we talked although he doesn’t know about Susan or this side of my life it was still nice to have friends you can count on. It was such an enjoyable evening and I didn’t want it to come to an end but I knew it had to.

It was about 6:45 when I told Julie I needed to go and she understood. She gave me a big hug which really did make things better. I got in my car and headed for home to change. I was almost home when I got a call from my mom and of course the worst popped into my head. Everything was okay and she was just calling to tell me they were going to bed early; my dad had calmed down some and she was really tired as she didn’t sleep well last night worrying about my dad so I didn’t need to stop by. I stopped and got gas and then stopped at Subway to get a sandwich before going home. Now I have family coming into town again this week so I am guessing Susan will be hid away now for a while and I am not sure when she will be back out but she is always with me inside and that will have to be enough for the short term.

September 16, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday and a little more Susan time

It is Sunday afternoon and my dad is having another good day so I got home a little before 4 and decided a little Susan time was in order. I actually need to go to the store and pick some stuff up for my parents and still need dinner and I figured why not as Susan. I quickly got ready as Susan and was on my way by 4:30. I went to target and went in and got the things my parents needed and then went to the checkout and paid for them. N ow my parents do not know about Susan or at least as far as I know they don’t so I have to wonder what they would think about Susan, their daughter they don’t know about shopping for them. After this I went to Jimmy John’s and got a sub sandwich. Now there was no one inside and no cars out front so I had the place to myself. I got my food and sat down at a table and people just started coming in. soon there were people at 6 other tables. I guess I hit it right before the dinner rush. I was only here about 20 minutes while I ate and then I was off again and on my way to Starbuck’s. I didn’t go to the one closest to my house instead I went to the other one just a little away as I will need to get gas tonight and it is right next to where I get gas but also this one is open an hour later so it gives me a little more Susan time.

I got to the Starbuck’s a little before 6 and went in. They were not real busy as this one has a drive through but still about 8 to 10 people inside and out at the tables. I got my drink and sat down and worked on my blog from Saturday night, yes I got to go to Dinner with Peggy and Cassandra at Mother’s Bistro and had a wonderful time. It was nice to be out as Susan again and this does make 2 nights in a row so this has been a good weekend not only for Susan by also for my Dad as my Susan time now depends on that. It really was relaxing to be out at Starbucks and being close to home if something comes up I know I can get home in a few minutes and make a quick change. By the way here is a cute picture from Last night at Mother’s Bistro we took with a bridal party at the next table. They were awesome, it really was a wonderful night out with two awesome friends. I think back to when I was first going out and I would never have thought I could form such close friendships as I have as Susan. There are a lot of my friends who have really impacted my life and they all mean so much to me and I don’t want to have some feel left out but a few really stick out as they are more like family. Alice, she was really my first friend I made as Susan as we exchanged e-mails addresses and she would e-mail me when she came to town and we would have a girl’s night out. She seemed so at easy as Alice and she really helped me get a little more confidence as she would occasionally have other people come over and talk to me, I was so shy as Susan at that time. Cassandra as when I met her she also seemed so comfortable as who she was and she was forming the group that has turned into the Rose City T-girls. She talked me into joining the group and her and the group was the best thing that has happened to Susan as I found a family that helped shape the young (maybe not young) lady I am today. Julie who has been such a wonderful friend and is truly like my big sister and so many others like Jan & Lynn, Melissa, Kate, Veronica and the list goes on. I seem to have way more friends and closer friends as Susan then as my male self. And even though some of them don’t really know a lot about who I am other than as Susan. Susan truly is blessed in so many ways and I love you all.

I stayed at Starbucks till a little after 8 e-mailing some of the friends I have made over the years but maybe lost touch with as I am not the greatest at staying in touch. It is so easy to just lose touch especially with people you don’t see that often. On the way home I stopped and got gas for my car. It will be a long week but maybe if my Dad is doing okay on Wednesday I am thinking about going to dinner with my friends as the following week I will once again have family in town and Susan stuff will have to be hid away.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what is new on my most recent blog.

September 10, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Labor Day, little Susan time early

Happy Labor Day everyone, I hope you have a safe and happy holiday weekend. Okay first thing my nails are driving me crazy, I can’t tell you how much I miss my acrylic nails. Now I know part of the issue is my nails are thin from having and removing the acrylic but they just keep breaking, cracking and getting little rough spots on the end where I have to keep filing them shorter. A few are so short I have trouble filing them and yet they still crack. They look bad and feel bad. I really need to go to the nail salon but my time is limited and I really do want to give them a chance to grow out. I really do notice women’s nails more now as I am so jealous especially when I see long pretty red nails. Don’t get me wrong I love long nails but there is just something about a red color on nails that looks beautiful, yes red is my favorite color. Well on with the blog.

As I said with my parent’s health issues it is really hard for me to get out and especially go anyplace to far from home as I keep waiting for a call which I get a few times a week but so far nothing to serious. The other thing is my brother is coming to town more now which is nice but he stays with me so I always have to put Susan away now, for the last several years Susan has been spread all over my house. This weekend was no exception as he came up Friday evening and left Sunday late afternoon so there was n o chance to get Susan time yesterday for my Sunday evening out. But there is still a little bright spot as today is Labor Day and as a holiday I have it off although my family and friends think I am working so I have a few hours in the morning and I am going to take advantage of it.

I got up at 6 am and started getting ready as my plan is to go to Starbuck, the one a little farther from my house that I have also been going to as my male self for a couple hours and then go to a couple stores not to far away and do a little shopping, maybe grab an early lunch and then finish it up at the Starbuck’s by my house. It took me about 1 ½ hours to get ready this morning, shower shave, makeup and dressed. It took a little longer as I am a little out of practice also I wanted to try something new I saw online. As you know from my last blog I had bought a new foundation that was a little to dark / orange for me so what to do with it. I had seen a YouTube video of a lady who mixed a little foundation in her body cream so I decided to give it a try. It actually does work really well although a little tricky to get right. I think my mistake was doing 1 leg at a time as I think a got a little more foundation on my left leg so it tools a little work to even it out but my legs look awesome, smooth and tan, really tan so I did the same to my arms. I think I have found a use if I ever get the wrong foundation again. It was about 7:30 when I left home and got to Starbucks a few minutes later, yes not the one by my house but still less than a mile away, I actually have 4 Starbucks (one in a store), a Peets coffee and a BlackRock coffee all within a mile of my house.

Now I have gone to this Starbucks a few times as Susan and 4 or 5 times as my male self and they are never busy inside as they have a drive through. Kind of funny as this one is half again as big as the one by my house that does not have a drive through. Any way they have never been busy inside as everyone goes through the drive through. I think the most I have seen sitting inside is 6 or 8 so being an early morning on a holiday I figured. Well I was wrong when I got there, there were probably 15 people inside at tables. I went and ordered my drink and then got my table and computer out. Now even with the drive through people still came in and got drinks to go. I guess Starbucks is the place to go in the morning. I did take a quick selfie in the car before going in. now they were busy most of the time I was here a few times it got down to maybe 8 other people but never less than that. I stayed here till a little before 1 before leaving and going shopping. It still seams funny as I have a day to sleep in and I get up early to get some Susan time in. By the time I left here there were 25 to 30 people inside, only 12 small table open.

My first stop was Target as I wanted to look at their makeup and see if I could get a Maybelline foundation that better matches my skin. The last one I bought I did as my male self so it was pretty much grab and go. I am still not comfortable buying Susan stuff as my male self. It was a little after 10 and I was surprised they were not busier. I took my time looking at all the makeup as I really do enjoy looking at all the stuff. After that I went and picked out a warm beige color foundation and a darker foundation stick for contour and then it was up to the checkout. My next stop was Burlington coat to look at shoes as I have found some cute ones here before but no luck today. My final stop was Walmart and really here I just looked around, clothes and makeup and even some electronics. It was about 11:30 when I decided it was time for lunch.

I drove to the Wendy’s I was going to, haven’t been there in probably a month. I went in and yes still all ladies working here, a couple times I have been here when there was a male working but never more than 1 at a time and not very often. They were not busy at all as I had the place to myself. I got my meal and went and sat by the TV so I could watch golf, long drive competition. An older couple came in and they sat at the table next to me. The man accidently spilled his pop while he was onloading the tray of food. While he was getting another drink and telling them about his spill the lady asked me what I was watching as it looked like golf so I explained it was a log drive competition and we chatted a little. It was kind of nice. I left here about

: and headed for the Starbucks by my house to finish out my day as I really only have till about 2. I got there and they also were a little busy 4 people at the tables outside and 14 at tables inside. There were a couple tables by the window so I set up my computer and went up and ordered. Usually the window seats are open as in the summer you get a lot of sun so warm and bright on the computer screen and in the winter a little cool. One of the things I like about the other Starbucks it the floor plan is just the opposite so at least you don’t get the bright sun through the window. I ordered my drink and then sat down and played on my computer including writing this blog. It still amazes me how busy they are during the day as there was always a steady stream of people coming and going. I stayed here till 2 before heading home to clean up and go back to my male life.

Not sure when Susan will, get out again as brother and other family are planning on coming up over the next couple weeks again. I am guessing if I do get out it will be a spur of the moment opportunity. Thanks for reading and be sure and see my most recent blog to know what’s new.

September 3, 2018 Posted by | Holiday, Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A little more Susan time on Sunday

Okay it is Sunday and I have a chanced to get out for a couple hours and I am going to take the chance. But as I have not been able to get out as much I have been spending more time on Facebook and I have noticed a few things I would like to share, just my thoughts and nothing more. Now before I get started I don’t care what side of the political spectrum you are on as we all have the right to believe and support who we want and that will not change who is my friends. I have not and will not unfriend someone who believes different then I do or treat them bad. Now I have snoozed some friends for 30 day if and only if they are posting multiple negative things about other people mainly the people who believe or support someone they dislike.

Now Facebook can be a wonderful thing as it brings all kinds of people from all over the world together. The bad thing is we can post things without seeing the other person or side. Now I will tell you there is nothing you can post on your Facebook page that will make me suddenly change from my beliefs or political views simply because I saw them on your page and I would hope the same is true of you as I would hope that you put your support in something or someone you truly believe in. so for that reason posting this type of stuff on our Facebook pages only polarizes people and divides our country. The second thing and this is the biggest is almost half the country is on the Democrat side and almost half the country is on the Republican side with a small amount who don’t like or care about either. So, when you post negative things about the other side or more specifically the people who support the other side remember at least some (up to half) your friends are the people you are talking about, the ones you are calling names. I have some friends that post a lot of political stuff that have 3,000, 4,000 and even 5,000 friends and I can assure you some of them disagree with you. I only bring this up as I have one friends who posts a lot of negative stuff about the other side and the people who support them and she was actually shocked that some of her friends unfriended her for voicing her political views. Well I can say they probably did not unfriend you for that but rather the things you posted about how bad they were for their view. Now this is as close as I will get to a political statement on my blog. Please think about what you are posting before you post it. Imagine how you would feel if someone posted that about you. Facebook has taken away the personal contact on things like that. As I said I will not unfriend anyone over their views as you have the right to them just like I do. Please show respect for all your friends. Okay this conclude my political statement and now back to our scheduled blog.

As I said I had a few hours free and wanted to get a little Susan time in for two reasons, One I really miss my Susan time but two I wanted to try a new makeup. I had seen a video on Maybelline super stay full coverage 24hr foundation. The videos looked like it worked really well and it is about a 1/3 the cost of the MAC foundation I currently use and available in any store that sells makeup. I was also interested in trying the Beauty blender Sponge applicator. I have a couple foundation brushes but never really likes the way the foundation looked using them so I always go back to putting on my foundation with my fingers. If you are interested in them you can find many videos on YouTube about them. So yesterday when I was at the store in my male mode I bought both to try.

So, with my new items today was the chance to try them. Now first the Beauty Blender sponge did seem to work really well and gave me a really nice coverage and I used less foundation then I usually do with my fingers, I was impressed. The Super stay foundation also seemed to work really well and covered up well, also so far impressed although the full test to see how it looks later on when I am done for the day and ready to remove it as most foundations look good when you have just put them on.

It was a little after 4 when I was ready and as I said with my parents I really don’t want to go to far from home so once again it will be close, I think I will do the same as last Sunday. Hit the Starbucks by my house for an hour or so before going to Subway for something to eat and then finish up at the other Starbucks by the Subway. Now I didn’t get to the Subway this week but I did go to the other Starbucks last night as my male self for about an hour so it will be interesting tonight when I go there as Susan.

I got to the Starbucks by my house about 4:15 and they were not busy but it wasn’t long and people came in. soon most of the tables were full and there was always a line of people ordering and waiting for there drinks. It was good for people watching. I stayed here till about 5:15 before going to Subway for dinner. I got to Subway and there was only one person in there getting a sandwich a head of me so I only had to wait a short time. The same girl who waited on me late week was here again. I got my sandwich and sat do to eat it. I was here about 30 minutes and no one else came in. for between 5 and 6 pm not very busy.

I got to the Starbucks where I have been going as my male self and went in. also not real busy as this one has a drive through. 2 teenage girls and 1 young man. I went up and ordered my drink, a hot chocolate as it is a little cooler today and I have a free drink reward. Now the same lady who was here yesterday and waited on me was the one I ordered from today. There was no sign of recognition from her but one can never really tell. I went over and sat at the same table I sat at last night and got out my computer.

Now the lady who took my drink order actually brought it to me at the table which was nice. I must say I have gone to many Starbucks as Susan and have always been treated wonderful at all of them. Now I had only been sitting a few minutes and 5 other people came in as a group, turns out they were meeting the young man who was already here so now there was more people inside which is nice as part of the reason I like going out as Susan is to interact with other people even if not talking with them at least being around them. Now this group really paid no attention to me but I did notice a couple times the 2 teenage girls looking at me. Soon they left though and it was just me and the other big group. I stayed here till 8 before going home.

Okay I got home and the new foundation held up really well, the only problem was the shade I picked. I went a little darker called warm sun, just a little darker than the one I was going to get. In the house it looked fine but in the daylight it kind of looked a little orange. I guess I will have to try a lighter color. It was still a relaxing couple hours.

Thanks for reading and be sure a see my most recent blog.

August 27, 2018 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A little Susan time Sunday close to home

Okay it is Sunday afternoon and I have a little free time and so I am taking the opportunity to be Susan but staying close to home so that means Starbucks b y my house. I got home from my parents around 2 and started getting ready. My dad is doing good today and I am hoping I won’t get a call this evening but reason to stay close to home. I got all ready and was at Starbucks by 3:30. They were not busy when I got there but it would not be that way long. I ordered my drink and sat down with my computer. The first order of business was to write my blog from last night, yes I actually went to the Escape for a few hours. It was so relaxing to be out again. I really can’t plan these outing right now, so I must take advantage when they come along and enjoy them.

Now my plan was to stay here till they close as long as everything goes okay. Now they close at 7 so that would be almost 4 hours which I have done many times. It is amazing how you don’t notice time pass when you are busy doing things on your computer. Having a laptop, you can take places and do things with really can open the world for you as you don’t have to be at your desk to do things. I got my blog done and caught up on some e-mails and checked some friend’s status on Facebook. It was just a relaxing day playing on my computer and people watching.

I stayed here till 5:30 and then I decided I was hungry and wanted something to eat. I decided to go to Subway. Now this is a big step as I go here a lot as my male self, but they do have a turnover of staff. I think I did come here once before as Susan and get a sub to go. I got there and went in and there were several people in line getting sandwiches, so I got in line and waited my turn. There was no one eating here though as everyone was getting them to go. Soon it was my turn and the lady who helped me is the same lady who has helped me the last 2 time I have come here as my male self, last time was 3 days ago. I ordered my usual although I did make an effort to speak softer. She appeared to not recognize me. I got a drink and chips and when she asked for here or to go I said for here. She put it in a basket and I went and sat down to eat. Now wouldn’t you know it the next 3 groups also got there for here so there were several of us now eating here but that was okay. People came and went as I ate and I didn’t know any of them which is always a concern when I am close to home. It was about 6:30 when I finished and wondered what to do next as I was really enjoying my time as Susan but the Starbucks by my house closes at 7 and there really wasn’t time to go back there.

Now as I said I don’t go to the same places as both Susan and my male self except for Subway now. So now a little side note. As I have not been able to get out as Susan what I have been doing is wearing my sandals more, so my red toenails are visible. So, there is another Starbucks 2 block the other side of Subway and only about a ½ mile from my house and yes, I have gone here 3 or 4 times in the last 2 weeks as my male self with my computer and my pretty toes showing and no one has noticed or said anything and they are open trill 8 so I decided that was where I was going. It’s a little bigger but seems less busy inside as they have a drive through.

I parked and went in and there were about 9 people inside at tables, but they have about 14 tables and a counter so plenty of open seats. I went to order my drink and 3 of the ladies here tonight have been here every time I have been in. I went to the counter and the lady who took my order was the same one who waited on me on Friday night. Again, no indication she recognized me but then it has only been a few times I have been here, not like being a regular. I got my drink and sat down at the table and spent some time on my computer. Now I really do like the Starbucks closer to my house as I have been going there for a long time and they all know me by name but I am thinking now that it might be fun to come here as my male self and then as Susan and keep switching back and forth and see if or how long it takes them to figure it out. Of course, it is always possible they could figure it out but never say something, but I will have to give this some thought.

I stayed here till they closed at 8 and then stopped at the gas station right next door as I needed gas before heading home. It really was a relaxing afternoon. Not sure when I will get out next, but I am sure it will be a spur of the moment opportunity as I have family coming back into town the next couple week and not sure how that will affect things.

Thanks for reading and be sure and see what’s new when I get a chance on my most recent blog.

August 20, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Out for a couple hours as Susan at the Escape

Okay it has in fact been 4 weeks since I have had any Susan time and I am really missing it. It is so hard when you are use to going out 2 to 3 times a week to just stop. Now I did get a chance to get together with a few of my friends, but I was in male mode and I also got together one evening with Julie for a couple hours again in male mode, thanks so much Julie I had a wonderful time and it was so great to spend a few hours with you. I miss my friends as much if not more than my Susan time. A few years ago, I would never have shown up as my male self, but I have such wonderful friends now I am willing to let them know all sides of me.

Now my big concern is the fact my family does not know about Susan. I have had to leave work a few times and been waken up in the middle of the night to run over there, usually for a medical reason but when I am Susan it adds that issue of having to change before going over. So, if I am out someplace and something comes up I must run home and clean up and remove all traces of Susan before going over and that ads time. In case I didn’t say it in my previous blog my dad is now on Home Hospice, so I am constantly waiting for that call. The good news is there is not a definite diagnosis, but he has enough health issues that they figure it is short term as in less than 6 months. I have thought a lot about it and I think I am going to try to get out to Starbucks by my house as if something comes up I can be home in just a couple minutes, so I should be able to get over to their place within 20 to 30 minutes.

Well tonight I decided to go out to the Escape as I wanted to see some of my friends. I posted I would be there in our group but in reality, I have no idea is anyone will be there as it has been a while since I was there, but I was hoping. Now I did start getting ready early about 3:30 as I wanted to take my time and yes it would take longer as I have let some things go over the last few weeks. Plus, not doing my makeup for that long I was sure I would be slower. Well it is like riding a bike, you don’t forget you just need a little longer. It was about 5:30 when I was ready and on my way. Now the Escape is not bad as it is only 20 minutes away so not that far and, on a Saturday, there shouldn’t be traffic. Now some things don’t change as I got in my car in the garage and opened the door and drove out, didn’t even think to look outside to see if any of my neighbors were out. As I was getting ready I wondered if I would have some jitters about going out after so long, but I didn’t. I guess Susan is just a normal part of me. Now don’t get me wrong I am not going around and telling people about Susan but I have come to the conclusion that if they find out they find out which is a wonderful place to be.

I got to the Escape a little before 6 and of course I had to take a quick selfie before going in to remember tonight. I thought my makeup turned out really well and I got to wear my new lipstick. I actually bought this almost 4 weeks ago and have not had the opportunity to wear it. I went inside, and they were a little busy about 15 people almost all sitting around the bar, so I sat down at our table. And got my computer out and then went up and ordered my dinner. I got back to the table and a man came over and sat down and talked with me. I have met him here before, he knows Samantha and Cloey. So, we talked for a while and he asked me if I have seen them lately which I haven’t. I think Cloey still lives local, but Samantha moved out of state. Any way we talked for a while before he went back and joined the people he was with. My food showed up, so I put my computer way while I ate.

After I finished I got out my computer and was getting ready to do some things when Bobbie showed up so at least I wouldn’t be here by myself tonight. We talked for a little bit while I also did a few things on my computer which I needed to do including posting my blog from getting my manicure in male mode last night. Now I will say typing on my key board with no nails feels funny, as I said when I got my manicure last night she trimmed them way down and rounded them off, totally different feeling then I am used to.

A little later Laura H, and Max showed up then Laura M, and her girlfriend, Britney and her friend and then Jan & Lynn and one other girl from our group so it looks like we will have a good turnout tonight. Now it still was not very busy, and our group was close to half the people here at least for now, it would not stay that way. It was so nice to talk with some of my friends and spend time with them. I really do miss seeing them. By time for Karaoke it got busy and soon it was standing room only, so it was good we had our table. Now Karaoke is fun to listen to but makes it hard to talk but I was able to chat with my friends some and that was good.

It was about 10 when Lauri showed up, so it was a fun night. I stayed till a little after 10:30 before calling it a night. It really was a wonderful night and went by so fast as they always do. It really was sad to see it come to an end but as I said I am going to try to get out to Starbucks at least for an hour or 2 every week and if he is doing well tomorrow I will be at Starbucks. I even thought about going to the nail salon as it is close to home but I think that will have to wait as at Starbucks I can leave immediately and head home little more difficult in the middle of a pedicure or getting my nails done.

August 19, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Southland Whiskey Kitchen

It is Wednesday night and our group, well a few of us are meeting for dinner at the Southland Whiskey Kitchen. We have gone here several times and the food is wonderful and mid-priced, $12 to $25 depending on what you want. I am really looking forward to it as I have not been out since last Wednesday nights dinner, family issues to take care of. Looks like it my Susan time will be limited again so I have to really make the most of it when I get it. But tonight, I will get a few hours with my friends over a nice dinner and what can be better then that. I got home about 4:30 and started getting ready right away. I really do look forward to being Susan, going out with friends and especially getting ready, deciding on an outfit, what dress and heels and of course how to do my makeup. My makeup is pretty much the same as I have found what works for me after years of trial and error, really the only thing I do different is how intense I do my eyes and which color of lipstick. For tonight it will be a little more intense and dramatic. Now it is hard to explain why I enjoy doing my makeup so much as I know woman who hate doing their makeup but for me it is relaxing and enjoyable. I have talked to several girls who feel the same way and yet I don’t know why I feel this way, but that really doesn’t matter. I enjoy it and that is good enough for me.

It was about 6 when I was ready and on my way. I got in my car and opened the garage door and was on my way. I think back a few years and I would carefully look outside and make sure no one was out and if they were wait for them to go inside which during the summer sucked as sometimes I would wait an hour. Now I just go. Now I am not saying I am coming out to everyone, I am not going up to my neighbors and saying guess what I am Susan part time but I am also not hiding it, if they see me they see me so be it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to look at life and who I am this way but it did take me many years to get to this point and a lot of help from my friends.

I got downtown a little after 6:30 and found a parking spot about 3 blocks away and again a few years ago this would have terrified me but I just got out of my car and went and paid for parking and walked to the restaurant, the funny thing is I really wasn’t even thinking about how I was dressed or being Susan, I was just me. I got to Southland Whiskey Kitchen a little before 7 and went in. They were not that busy and the lady asked how many in our group. I said 4 for sure maybe 6, as I was talking with her Melissa n=and her wife came in and Barb right after, this is our core Wednesday night group right now. We got a booth that was big enough we could squeeze 2 more in if we needed which we did. Dee and Gina showed up, Dee is a local girl in our Group and Gina a girl from the Seattle area who was down visiting. They are both going on our Mexican Cruise in October and are sharing a room. I think this was a chance for them to meet before the cruise as Cassandra has been trying to help some of the girls find cabinmates for the cruise to help with the cost. I think I have met Dee before but this was the first time I met Gina and they are both really nice.

We talked for a little bit before we ordered dinner. This really is a wonderful social event as in smaller groups it is more personal and easier to talk with everyone. Don’t get me wrong as I really like and want more girls to come out but if they don’t it is still a wonderful event. Now one of the things besides the cruise we talked about was our group and how to get more girls interested in going out and should we even keep doing the Wednesday night dinners if we can’t get more girls to come out. Now my feeling on this is a big yes, even if it is just a few girls it is worth it. I think going out to these places and letting people see us and interact with us in even a small way is good as they can see we are no different then them, we are just out for a nice dinner and conversation with friends. It takes the mystery out I think. The other reason is to be out with my friends. For me it is not about where we go but my friends ii go with. For those who don’t know I don’t drink, never really have and I am not a bar person. I have maybe gone to bars a dozen times as my male self. Susan goes to these places because her friends go there and for better or worse when we first started going out it really was LGBT bars where we could go and be safe and feel accepted. Over the years that has changed.

When I first started going out it was to go as a group for safety and support, over the years I have become more comfortable and confident as Susan and pretty mush go where I want and will go by myself. I really no longer need the group for that but I do need them for the friendships I have made. My best friends are in this group, and some are more like sisters, family. The going out now is to see them and spend time with them. I really am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and I would not be who I am without them.

We ordered dinner and our food came and it was wonderful as always, I would recommend Southland Whiskey Kitchen for a good dinner. The staff here is wonderful and our waitress remembered a few of us from last time, I guess we are a little more memorable then the average customer but still makes you feel good. It was just before 9 when we finished and paid our bills, we did talk a little longer till just after 9 before leaving. We said our goodbyes and I walked back to my car and again I really never thought about being Susan or how I was dressed I was just me. I really think if you can get to that point people accept you better as you come across as nothing is wrong and this is just who you are.

Thanks for reading and be sure and keep up with me and my life in my most recent blog.

July 22, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday and some relaxing Susan time at Starbucks

It is Sunday and I am going to get a little relaxing Susan time at Starbuck’s. I really do love going out with my friends as they are so wonderful but I also enjoy a little me time as Susan at Starbuck’s. Starbucks is a place you can go and there really are a lot of people there by themselves. I got home a little after 2 and started getting ready. I got to the Starbucks by my house around 3:30 and parked and went in. they were a little busy but there was one open table by the window so I set my computer on it and went and ordered my drink. Once I had my drink I sat down and got out my computer. This was the first time I really looked around and as I said they were busy but today it was mostly young girls. There were 5 groups of 2 to 4 girls and I would guess the oldest age between them was maybe 15. I don’t know why but this is when I feel the most uneasy as I think young girls are more aware of people around them and I did notice a couple of them looking at me but I just smiled back and that seemed to work.

I started off by writing my blog from last night at the Escape, as I have said I really do like writing my blogs as Susan when I am out as Susan. It just seems more honest and real although I don’t know why. I thought I would ad a picture to this blog from my trip to Diva Las Vegas that I thought was cute. Now it is relaxing here at Starbucks and I seem to get more done as I don’t have the distractions I do at home (TV) plus there is just something about being out as Susan. This week I am looking forward to dinner on Wednesday with my friends as we missed last week because of the Fourth of July, I hope everyone had a happy and safe fourth. It is a day we celebrate our countries birthday, the freedoms we have and remember all those who gave everything for those freedoms. I really do believe we live in the best country in the world, no offence to my sisters in other countries but I am proud of what we have her in America.

Now beside doing my blog, sending an e-mail to our group about our Wednesday night dinner and just playing around on my computer Starbucks is a great place to people watch as you really do see a wide range of people here, young, old, male, female, casual dressed and even one lady in heels and a tight dress. Trust me she could get away with that look anyplace. It is funny as when I am out at Starbucks I am really not thinking about how I am dressed or even about being Susan verses my male self. I am just out being myself. There is just something so wonderful when you accept who you are and just be that person. I really think when you can do that you come across to others more naturally and that helps them accept you.

I stayed at Starbucks till 6:30 when they closed and the I decided to go get something to eat at Subway and I went to the one close to my house. Now this is something that is new to me as I go here also as my male self, but they do seem to have a bigger turnover in employees here. I generally don’t go to the same places both as Susan and my male self. I am trying to eat better as I want to lose some weight before our cruise, I have actually lost 6LB in the last 2 weeks, I have been trying to cut out dairy as I read that is one of the worst things for belly fat and that is my problem area. It is hard though as I really do love an ice-cold glass of milk but it is something Susan needs to do.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what’s new with Susan

A few of my more recent blogs

A few hours on a Sunday afternoon

Saturday and a full day of Susan, going to the gun range to shoot.

Wednesday night dinner at Old Spaghetti factory

Saturday at the Escape

Wednesday night dinner at Hobo’s downtown

Saturday at the Escape on Memorial Day Weekend

Saturday May 19 2018 red dress party

Thursday night and having dinner with Charlene and her wife

Tuesday and my vacation comes to an end after 12 days

Sunday and the drive home from Palm Springs to Portland

Saturday and we leave Las Vegas to take Julie back to Palm Springs

Friday last day of Diva Las Vegas.

Thursday and we are going to tour the Hoover Dam

Tuesday night of Diva Las Vegas

Monday of Diva Las Vegas

Day 3 of Diva Las Vegas drive from Palm Springs to Las Vegas

July 9, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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