Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Wednesday night Zoom meeting

It is the last Wednesday of July, wow how fast is this year going, and I once again get to spend time online with my friends on a video chat. I really look forward to this each week. We are limited to what we can do right now so this is the best option. One of my friends asked me about the fact I dress at home every weekend and that they thought I didn’t like doing that. Yes, the fact is dressing at home is not my favorite thing, when I dress, I want to go out and live my life like any other woman. I want to socialize and yes part of that is being seen for who I am and accepted. The problem is right now that is not something that can really be done and that leaves either not dressing and being who I am or dressing at home. I look at it this way my favorite ice cream is Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and that is the flavor I will pick pretty much every time. F that is not an option I will pick another flavor as any ice cream is better than no ice cream. Any Susan time is better than no Susan time and I really need to be able to express this part of who I am, or I get moody, depressed and stressed out. Being Susan brings balance to my life and keeps me healthy and happy.

I got home a little later then normal so it would be a rush to get ready. My goal is always to be ready by 6:30 as that gives me time to call and check on my mom and talk to her for a while before starting the meeting and tonight it was close. It was 6:30 when I was ready and I went down stairs and called my mom and I was actually doing 2 things at once tonight as I put her on speaker phone so I could take some selfies while I talked with her. it was 7 pm when I got the meeting going and yes girls were waiting and with in a few minutes we had 10 of us online again tonight and that was with 4 of our regulars unable to make it. We have Jennifer, Julie, Nicole, Antonia, Dawnie, Melissa, Jeanie, Samantha, me and Vivian. Vivian is new to the group and this was her first chance to meet us all so of course we all wanted to know a little about her. she found the group through Dawnie as they are friends online. We have had several girls join our group in the last few months and we are really looking forward to when we can get out and meat in person. In some ways I think the video meeting might make it easier for that first-time meeting as you are safely in your home. several of us talked about our first times out and how hard it was. We talked that we should keep this video meeting going even after things get back to normal which we will. I bought a subscription to Zoom a couple months ago on month to month and it is cheaper if you pay by the year, well yesterday they sent me an offer if I upgraded to a year I got 40% off of the yearly price so I did ass it is basically the same as paying for about 5 ½ months so we are good till the end of July next year, and it really wasn’t that much about the same as 3 Wednesday night dinners.

Well we got on to just talking a little and seeing how everyone was surviving the heat, yes it was in the upper 90’s here today and for this area that is hot. Then it was time for one of Jennifer’s question and that was what we would do or feel if society didn’t really recognize genders and it was acceptable to dress how ever you wanted. well for me that was easy as it would be long pretty acrylic nails but there would be other thing. I do like women’s clothing a lot more, men’s clothing is plain and boring and not soft and silky so I would wear those things more. I may not do a full makeup every day, but I could see some like mascara, and a light shade of lipstick. It is something to think about. Most agreed about the clothing as we pretty mush all like the feel of dresses and the soft fabrics and pretty colors. There was another good question, but I can’t remember what it was, I guess I waited to long to write this blog.

Soon it was almost 9 and Melissa was the first to sign off, she is working from home these days, so she spends a good amount of her day on Zoom meetings for work although I am sure this is more fun. The rest of us kept talking and then girls started to drop off till it was just Julie, Samantha, Dawnie and me left and we kept it going till after 9:30 before we called it a night. it is always sad to see the night come to an end, but we will do it again next Wednesday and I will also get to spend this weekend as Susan. yes, it will pretty much be at home but the act of doing my makeup is wonderful. The time I spend doing my makeup and transforming myself is such a relaxing wonderful feeling. I get asked from time to time if there will come an age where this just wont work for me and I don’t have an honest answer for that. I guess the best I can say is the doing of my makeup will never go away, having nice nails will never go away, will I one day just not want to go out anymore, that I don’t know but right now I would say no that will never go away. This is really a journey, and no one know where it will completely lead. The only thing I know for sure is I will not transition, and my love of nails and makeup will, never go away. Oh, that was another thing, a couple of our girls got their legal name changes in the last week, congratulations to Melissa and Antonia legally female and female names. Before going upstairs and removing my makeup I took some trash out and got a picture outside by just the streetlight, didn’t turn out that bad.

Well stay safe and stay happy, remember if you can’t find happiness in yourself you won’t find it in someone else, love who you are. Thanks for reading and remember to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 31, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday Susan time at home

I got up Sunday morning and today I will spend another day at home as Susan. I got up around 8:30 and started getting ready. Now today I was going all in on my eyes I wanted to really make them dramatic with winged eye liner and completely lining them. It took a little work and time and it turned out pretty well but still can’t get it right. I also tried to overline my lips to make them look fuller, that didn’t turn out as well. I discovered there is a fine line when you try to make your lips look fuller. Well it took me a little over 2 hours getting ready today. I went downstairs and of course got some pictures. Now one of the comments I get a lot is that my pictures always look so good and do I touch them up. as far as touching them up no I have never done anything to change or alter my pictures, they are just as I take them. That being said yes, my pictures I post are always good one or at least I think so but that is because I only post the good ones, the ones I think look good. I am not about to post a bad picture of myself. Today is a good example as I deleted out about 8 pictures right after I took them on my phone as they didn’t look good. Now later as I was going through the 15 pictures, I have on my computer only 7 of them made the cut for my blog today. Yes, today I had a higher rejection rate on my pictures as I just didn’t like the way my lips turned out.

Now I did sit out on my deck for a while before lunch as I knew it would be hot later as it is supposed to get into the upper 90’s today. I actually put my awning up today for shade and will leave up for the next few days. At noon I made lunch and ate it on my deck but it was getting hot by now so after I ate I went in and started my day of watching Movies and yes it will be the Hallmark Chanel as they are still showing Christmas Movies

I watched movies till 6 and then decided to go get something to eat and yes I went to McDonalds. I did get a picture in my car as I waited in line to get my food. I got my food and went home, and I hate to complain but yet again they messed up on my order and with only drive through open there is nothing you can do. I would say half the time I go here they mess something up and its not about being transgender as I go here as my male self also and the same thing. I am going to have to start checking my meal before I leave the drive through window. Well I ate my burger and my half full large fries, but my large coke was an unsweetened ice tea and I couldn’t drink it so I had a bottle of water instead which was probably better for me especially on a hot day. Now I also did some laundry today, yes Sunday is my laundry day and that includes doing my bed linens. Now it is a little more challenging changing bed linens with long hair and I can imagine if you have long beautiful nails, I would be afraid of breaking one.

Well after I ate, I called my mom and of course I went out on my deck in the shade of course and we talked for about 30 minutes. Any way I was talking with her and looking down at my yard. Well I don’t know why but I looked up and the neighbor lady was standing on her deck also on her phone but she was looking over towards me, don’t know how long she had been out there but she waved at ne so I just waved back and kept talking but did walk to the other end of my deck. I went back in and watched some more Christmas movies and with pausing the movies it was about 10:30 when I got down with the last movie I wanted to watch and went up to get ready for bed. Now with the heavy mainly the eye liner it took a lot of work to get it all off. It was after 11 when I finally got to bed. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights Zoom meeting. It was a good day but really wish things were back to normal and I could go out as normal.

Stay safe and stay positive and thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 27, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saturday at home on a warm day

Well it is the last Saturday of July and we are in for a few hot days this week, starting tomorrow we will be in the upper 90’s for the next 5 days which for here is really hot. Well I got up today and did some stuff around the house as I can’t be Susan till later. I can go over and visit my mom once again outside, so I went over at 11 before it got to hot so it was about 12:30 when I got home and started my day as Susan. I took my time and yes, I did a more dramatic look today, I am really looking at stepping my eye makeup look, I am working on the ye brows and winged eye liner. I can do fairly good on eye liner but still has trouble with the winged look. I really do like playing with Makeup I guess that is the young lady in me. I missed out on all the fun young girls have playing with makeup when they are young. Now yes, I did play with makeup from an early age, but it was not the same, mostly lipstick and sometimes eye shadow nut never the complete look till I was out of high school. I really did miss out when I was younger. I got my makeup done and put on my big hoop earrings and my black and white summer dress for the day.

I went downstairs and got some pictures before I started my day at home. now I did sit out on my deck for a while in the shade and do a little work till it got hot and it is only the upper 80’s today I can just imagine what the next 2 days will be. I went back inside and watched some movies, today is Star Wars phantom menace and then Rogue One, yes, I am a Star Wars fan. Now as it will be hot out tomorrow about 5, I went out in my back yard and watered some of my plants and my grape plants and spent about a half hour walking around my backyard watering my yard. I actually did it by hand as I just wanted to be out in my yard. I think the heat kept my neighbors inside today as I didn’t see any of them so I am guessing it will be the same the next few days.

After that it was time for dinner and yes that means going to Panda Express as I have every Saturday for the last several weeks. I got my purse and was ready to go. Now before I started getting ready today, I did wash my car and left it in my driveway outside. I just opened my front door and walked out to my car like it was the most normal thing I could do but I didn’t see any. There really is something about just going about my life as normal. I have hidden this side of me for so many years and although I am not just going to go out and tell people about me, but I am not going to hide who I am either. It took me a long time to accept who I am and be okay with it, but I really am happy with who I am today.

I got to Panda express and of course got my customary picture in my car before putting on my mas and going in. now this week they were not very busy so I was able to go right in. there was one man paying for his food and one lady in front of me ordering so I only had to wait a short time. Now there were only 3 people working here or at least that is all I saw and 2 of them I had not seen before. The one I recognize was doing a big order I am guessing a mobile order, but she asked a young mane to help me and did it by saying would you help this lady which made me feel good. I got my food and paid and was outside and glad to take my mask off. Yes, in the hot weather wearing a mask is hot, I don’t know how woman keep their makeup looking good with them on. Tomorrow with the heat will be interesting.

I got in my car and was on my way home. I decided to eat my dinner on my deck in the shade of course and it wasn’t to bad as there was a light breeze. After I ate, I called and talked with my mom for a while before going inside and watching my normal Saturday night shows. I wrote my blog during the commercials. Now about 9:30 as it was just getting dark and watered my front lawn standing in my driveway. I stayed up till midnight watching my shows before calling it a night and getting ready for bed. Now I get to be Susan again tomorrow and of course this Wednesday night when we do our Zoom meeting again.

Stay safe and stay positive as things will get better and we will return to our normal lives.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 26, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday zoom meeting with friends

It is Wednesday and I get to spend some time online with my friends tonight but a little back story, if you read my blog from Friday night you know I got a manicure with red polish and was going to take it off Sunday night but I just couldn’t so I dd it Monday morning as I wanted to wake up one last day with pretty red nails. Now I got home early today so I had plenty of time to get ready which is awesome. Now last Wednesday one of the topic questions Jennifer brought up was how many wigs we each have and yes I hate to get rid of my old wigs as they have such wonderful memories, even though I only wear 3 or 4 I do have 14, yes I counted them. Any way last night I dug out one that I wore almost every week years ago and washed and it actually looks pretty good so that is the hair I will wear tonight probably the first time in 5 to 7 years since I last wore it. I took my time and did a really good job on my makeup especially my eyes and of course red lipstick, and of course to go with the red lipstick I picked a red dress, I will be the lady in red tonight. I was all ready by 5:45 so I actually took a lot of pictures tonight so there will probably be too many to fit in my blog so be sure and look at the end for all the extra.

Well I sat out on my deck for a while with my computer to pass some time. I also called my mom and talked with her for about 40 minutes, I am hoping I will be able to start going over to visit with her outside again this weekend so my Susan time may not be the full days this weekend but that is okay I will still get Susan time. It was about 6:55 when I logged on and started the meeting and again girls were waiting and by 7, we had 5 of us online and by 7:05 there were 9 of us which would be the total number tonight. We had Jennifer, Danika, Christie, Tina, Dawnie, Melissa, Samantha, Patty, and of course me. By the way let me know what you think of my pictures tonight, I forgot how much I loved this hair.

We talked for a little while and caught up with what is going on in our lives and of course a couple girls that missed last week were interested in hearing from Jennifer about coming out to her kids and siblings, it really went well for her so we are all happy. Well we have anther girl Danika who came out to one of her daughters this week

also, and it went well for her also, she was helping do some things and it just came up. I am so happy for them both. The night was off to a good start although we had a couple of our regular girls missing tonight also, due to family events but I hope they can join us next week.

Now it was on to new topics and Jennifer is really good about having wonderful questions for us and we started off on our eyebrows, how do we deal with them. Do we trim them, pluck them, wax or threading and we have a little of everything? now I am going to do something I never do, a comparison picture of my eyes as Susan and my male self but will crop it to just my eyes but yes, a little of my male self-tonight, wow what a difference. Now for me years I did not like my eye browns, so I cleaned them up just a little and then a little more and I just kept going but it was slowly over a couple years so I don’t think anyone noticed or at least no one said anything and now they have a nice shape but they are also thinned out and sparce and yes I keep them trimmed short. Now if you looked at a picture of my male self 20 years ago and today you would really notice it and I can actually get a nice eyebrow when I am Susan. I do pluck them, but I have always wanted to have then by someone either waxed or threaded which is what Jennifer does. Actually, she was telling us it wasn’t till she came out to her kids that they noticed her eyebrows and made the comment that she really does have nice eyebrows for their Dad.

The next question was ab out woman’s panties and how often we wear them, underdressing and yes, I pretty much just wear woman’s panties every day. Actually, most of the girls do the same thing but for me it is more about them just being more comfortable to wear. The next question was how many Bra’s we own and again to my surprise I think I had the most as I have 16, 2 just plain white ones which I hardly wear, 6 inn pretty colors that I use with my breast forms and then 8 from Victoria’s Secrets. Now the ones from Victoria’s Secrets was necessary as I found a wonderful Bra there called So Obsessed, the most comfortable bra I have ever worn and it ads 1 ½ cup sizes so I can wear it with no forms and it looks great as I do have just a little extra fat up there. Any way after I got my first 2 I went back to get a red one and found out they had discontinued them and was unhappy but it was when they had a bra sale so I decided to check online and they actually had them buy 1 get 1 free so I bought 3 and got 3 free. I so hate when I find something I like, and they discontinue it. By the way I found this Bra when I got a fitting at Victoria’s Secret back in February of 2016 as my male self.

We really did have a nice conversation and time tonight and although we can’t get together in person yet, but this helps fill the void. Now we also talked about dressing at home and how we feel about it and yes, I do not like to dress and just stay at home, I want to go someplace. I think it is because I hid at home for so long but also, I want to make this a normal part of my life and that means doing all the things any woman would do. Now I was asked about this as yes for the last few months I have pretty much just dressed at home. Now I will compare it to Ice Cream, my favorite flavor is Chocolate Chip Cookie dough, then choc chip, mint choc chip, chocolate, vanilla and so on. If I have my choice, I will always pick Chocolate chip cookie dough but if I don’t have that I will pick one of the others down to my least favorite. I won’t pass up ice cream because I don’t have my favorite, probably why I can’t lose weight. Right now, I don’t have a lot of options for being Susan and Susan time at home is better than no Susan time. I know 2 years ago when my Dad was near the end and I couldn’t dress at all it was hard on me, I got moody, depressed, stressed out and restless when I tried to sleep. Susan is a part of who I am, and I need it in my life on a regular basis. Besides just doing my makeup relaxes and calms me.

It was about 9 as girls started to sign off and we called our night to an end, there were just a few of us and I gave my pitch for doing a blog and again I would encourage everyone to do one even of you keep it private to just yourself or just on your computer but it is wonderful to be able to go back and see what you did, where you went, who you were with and pictures. Nicole does one for herself and it is totally private, but she records each of her outing and a picture of what she wore plus it makes it easy to see how many times you go out. the other thing is OneDrive as it is a great way to back up your pictures in the cloud and what I did was link my cell phone camera to it so when I take a picture it saves to my OneDrive, links to the cloud and then to my laptop in just a matter of seconds and Microsoft will allow you 5 Gigs for free which holds a lot of pictures. Something to think about. Sorry I went a little long tonight.

It was sad to see the evening come to an end but now I am looking forward to the weekend. Stay safe and stay positive.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life and let me know what you think of my photos and my eye look.

July 23, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sunday Susan time, a wonderful weekend at home

It is Sunday and I got up at 8 to start my day and the first thing I saw was my pretty nails, yes, it is only polish and not acrylics but still a wonderful feeling. I took my time getting ready as it is such a wonderful way to start my day. I went a little less dramatic on my eye makeup although I did a little more of an arch shape on my brows and tried to clean the edges up with some highlighter to make it a more crisp look and I think it turned out pretty well and also a more bold lip look with a wine color. I was ready a little before 10 and of course I had to get a few pictures. Now it is going to be hot out today, about 90 so I got thinking if I wanted to do anything outside it would have to be early in the day so I decided to have breakfast on my deck and this got me thinking so I decided I would go to the Cemetery today just to get out.

I got my purse and was on my way by 10:40 and of course the first stop was the Fred Meyers store at Johnson Creek to get some flowers. I got there about 11 and of course put my mask on to go inside. Okay my little political statement for my blog and it is on face masks so if you don’t want to hear it skip over the pink part. I am against the Governors mandatory mask law. I don’t think she has the authority under the law to do this and I also think it violates our constitutional rights. That being said I pretty much wear a mask when I am out in public because I chose to partly for my safety but mostly for others and their peace of mind. I am not against the wearing of masks I am just against it not going through the state legislature which is where laws are done. Now with my mask on I went inside and decided to look around for a little bit so I did check out their and of course what would a trip there be without checking out the makeup section. I don’t really need anything right now, but I just love looking at it. Well it was time to go to the floral section and get my flowers and be on my 5way. Now the problem with masks is I am afraid it will smudge my makeup or wear part of it off plus they are hot from your breath so it also feels like your makeup is melting not a good feeling but necessary. I guess shopping trips will be shorter so I can take breaks from the mask.

I got to the cemetery about 11:40 and parked now there were 5 groups of people in this section and I noticed the 4 other sections around had no one but then this is the section where the most recent passed those in the last 2 years are. Well I got out and went to my dad’s sight and put the flowers on his grave. Now I spent about 40 minutes here and yes people came and went. Now there was one older couple guessing in their 60’s and they were walking row after row and I could tell they were looking for someone and I new eventually they would get to where I was. Well the man was 2 rows away from me and I don’t know what came over me but instead of leaving or waiting I walked over to him and asked if they were looking for someone and he said yes, well they have a gave locator online for National cemetery’s which I used to find my neighbors so I pulled out my phone and helped him look up the grave site, turns out they were in the wrong section which is what I thought as he had said it had been several years since he was here and this section only opened up about 2 years ago. He thanked me and went and got his wife and headed for their car. I left shortly after that and headed for home. I stopped at Costco on the way home and got gas which was the main reason I went out today.

It was almost 2 when I got back home and decided to start this blog so I went out on my deck and sat in the shade but even in the shade it was warm so I only stayed out there about 30 minutes before retiring to my air conditioned house. I turned on the TV and yes, I went to Hallmark Chanel and watched more Christmas Movies. Now about 5:30 it was time to think of dinner and what I wanted. I like going and getting something as it gets me out of the house as Susan, but I can only take so much fast food. Now I have been going to Panda Express someplace I really only went in male mode till the last couple months and after realizing how much a mask hides I decided to do something I have never done, go to the grocery store right by my house where I have shopped for years and know several of the people as Susan and get some fried chicken for dinner. being single I don’t really do big grocery shopping, so I stop at this store at least 3 times a week or more to get stuff for dinner. I parked and put my mask back on and got out and walked into the store and back to the deli. The lady who helped me was the same one who helped last week, and I kept watching to see if I could see a sign of recognition but nothing. Now it was up to the check stand to pay and both checkers have been there for years so again I was watching to see their reaction and nothing. It was a good outing and a first although like I say with the hair and mask there is very little chance of someone recognizing me.

I got home and ate and yes watched more Christmas Movies. I worked on my blog during commercials. My last movie will get over at 10 and then I will get ready for bed and yes that means removing my pretty red nail polish. Now I have painted my nails several times for the weekends over the last couple months and I always thought I did it right, base coat, 2 coats of color and top coat but I always get a chip within the first day and by the end of the weekend my nails are looking worn. My nails look as good right now at 9:30 Sunday night as they did Friday night when I got them done. Helen really did a wonderful job as my manicures never last. It will really be sad in 30 minutes when I have to remove it. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday night when we will once again do a zoom meeting.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 19, 2020 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday as Susan at home

Well another Saturday at home today and spending the weekend as Susan. I got up earlier today as I have a 9 am Zoom meeting that is work related and yes, I will be Susan so I will have my video turned off. Now there is something special about getting up and starting the day as Susan but even better then that is getting up basically for work as Susan. in a way it does complete something about who I am. You see my male side is really the one who works and pays all my bills and yes provides Susan with what ever she wants so in a way when I can do these things for work from my computer it is kind of like Susan supporting herself, that may sound silly but to me it makes perfect sense. I am not transitioning or going full time but the fact as Susan I can kind of support this part of me makes this side of me seem a little more complete.

My alarm went off at 7 am and on a Saturday that is hard so it was actually about 7:20 when I rolled out of bed and of course the first thing I saw was my pretty red nails, if you read my blog about last night you will understand, I got a manicure and pedicure on the way home yesterday and had the same red color put on my fingers for the weekend. Yes, I do love having pretty nails and I have said many times it is the one thing I would do all the time if I could. I really do love them, and in 3 weeks I should be on Vacation for a week and at one point I thought about getting Acrylic nails for that but with the virus and states starting to shut some things down again I was worried they might shut the nail salons down again so I took advantage of it this weekend. Now for my vacation if the salons are still open and the restrictions on visiting my mom are still in place then I will get them done but those are 2 big ifs and so I didn’t want to wait. I started getting ready and I did a full-on makeup especially on my eyes for the day and yes, I did a brick red lipstick, not really bright but a good color for the daytime. It was taking longer than I planned and now I regretted not getting up right at 7 as I was worried, I would be late for my meeting. at the end it was a rush, but I logged on right at 9 to my meeting. there were a couple others who didn’t have their video on either, so I wasn’t the only one and it popped into my head I wonder how they were dressed. The meeting lasted till about 10:30 and now it was time to start my day.

I got a few pictures and the decide to sit on my deck and write my blog from last night as it will be hot later today and I wanted to enjoy the morning Sunshine. It really is relaxing to sit on my deck and write my blog and play on my computer. I am wearing a red dress today but more of a casual one, so it works. I finished my blog about noon and got it posted and then decided to go to Wendy’s for something to eat. I got there and it turns out their dining room is now open for dining and I briefly thought about going in but I decided to just go through the drive through as even a casual red dress would stand out a little here. Now as I said when I am out, I am really not thinking about being Susan or how I am dressed I am just being me but with the bright red nail polish on my fingers as I held the steering wheel it does keep it in your mind.

Now I sat on my deck again for a while but had to sit in the shade and started my bog for today. I sat outside till about 5:30 and it was wonderful just relaxing on my deck. Now it was time for dinner and yes that means my normal Saturday night trip to Panda Express. I did change to a more casual look and a new hair look before going. I got there and got a quick selfie in the car and put my mask on and then got out and yes, they were busy tonight. They only allow 10 people inside and there were 8 people outside standing on little X’s waiting to get in, so I took my place in line. now this is close to my house but with masks it would be really hard for someone to recognize me. Now as I was looking inside I saw a man that looks like a guy I work with who really only lives about 3 miles from me and I got wondered as I really couldn’t get a good look at him and he would have to go out the far door before I even got to the door to go in. as he left turns out he had parked out front by where I was standing and as he came around the corner he took his mask of and it wasn’t him. Any way I got almost to the door and the couple in front of me went in and stood to the left but there were already 10 people inside so they asked them to step back out and they seemed fine with it but the woman went and stood right on the X and said I guess this is where I have to stand. She kind of looked at me and I smiled under my mask and told her I refuse to stand on the X as I have watched to many Road Runner shows. She let out a laugh and we chatted for a couple minutes till they were able to go inside. Now by the time I got inside there were 9 people standing behind me. Now the couple in front of me paid and then I did, now here is the funny part as I followed their truck out of the lot and down the street and they turned on the same street I did and then we came to my street and yes they turned onto my street, my dead end street and not a drive 4 houses short of my house, as I drove by and they were getting out without theirs masks on I got a good look at them. Now they have lived there for about 5 years, but I think I have only talked to them twice, so I really don’t know them or them me other then passing on the street.

I got home and ate my dinner and yes, I will spend the rest of the evening once again watching some Christmas movies on Hallmark channel. I am finishing my blog as I watch the movies and it has been a wonderful day and I get one more tomorrow. Stay safe and stay happy and love who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 18, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night and my weekend starts early.

It is Friday and I had to go into work earlier today so that means I get off earlier. Now I am in bad need of a pedicure, my last one was March 14 and in reality my pedicure held up really well through June other then the grow out but the last couple weeks the polish was chipping off and looking really bad so as I had an extra hour today I thought I would stop by Julie’s Nails and see if I could get a pedicure on my way home. I actually have 2 nails salons I really like Dream nails which only knows me as Susan as that is how I always go and Julies nails which only knows me on my male side, I often wonder what would happen if I went in both as male and female to them. I would highly recommend both of these places they do a wonderful job. I went there for the first time last November when I had to get my Acrylic nails removed unexpectedly and went as my male self. I have gone here a few times for pedicures and an occasional manicure as my male self. I got there a little after 4 and parked and put my flip flops on and went in expecting them to be busy as they have only been open a couple weeks and I figured women would be getting their acrylic nails back. Well to my surprise there were only 2 people inside, 1 man and 1 woman both getting their nails done so I was able to get right in. I picked out my color red of course and was shown to a

pedicure chair. Now they are doing social distancing here, everyone wears a mask, only every other pedicure chair is open, and they have a clear piece of plastic hanging down from the ceiling almost to your feet. Now it has been a while, so I splurged in the deluxe Herbal pedicure. The young girl doing my pedicure is Helen and she was really nice. Now I must have timed it right as people started coming in shortly after and soon there were 4 of us getting pedicures and several getting their nails done.

If you have never gotten a pedicure you real should, yes you can do it way cheaper yourself, but it is so relaxing and the one I got too a little over an hour, it is one of the most relaxing feeling there is and you feel like a princes as they take care of you. Now the funny thing is a man and woman came in she had an appointment to get her nails filled yes, she had beautiful acrylic nails. She asked if her husband could get a pedicure while she got her nails done and they said yes but he was hesitant about it, she asked if he was sure and he looked over at the chairs and saw me, paused and said he guessed so, so he was shown to the chair at the far end as it was the only chair left. Well as Helen did my nails, we talked a little and she must have noticed my fingernails which are a little long for a man and asked if I wanted a manicure also and of course the answer was yes. She asked if I wanted clear or a color and of course I wanted color but I can’t go to work with painted nails but then I thought, it is Friday and I am off work till Monday and with things still restricted and I can’t go over and see my mom till the end of next week I didn’t hesitate and told her I wanted the same color on my fingers. It was about 5:25 when she finished with my feet and led me over to her manicure station. Again, they have plastic shields up that you put your hand under for her to work on and plastic dividers between the stations for customers.

She started on my manicure and just then a young lady sat down next to me to get her nails filled, she had beautiful long coffin shaped nails and they must have been painted for Independence Day as 1 was white with I love USA and a heart the rest were some form of the flag all red white and blue and just looked spectacular. Well I was trying to glance over and see her nails without looking like I was, and I noticed she was doing the same thing for me. Now it is not that uncommon for a man to get a manicure but the she may have noticed my bright red toenails or the fact there was a bottle of red nail polish sitting on the table by where she was doing my nails. Well I made a comment about how much I liked her nails and she thanked me and we kind of talked a little, she had gotten them done for Independence Day like I though. She also was showing the lady doing her nails pictures on her cell phone how she wanted her nails to look and I told her that was a good idea and so she showed me the pictures also and they were going to look great kind of a French fade pink to white and a few of them would have designs on them. We talked a little more while Helen did my nails and the lady next to me never said a word or asked me about my nails even when Helen started painting them bright red and asked me how I liked them. Now she was texting on her phone some and I did wonder if I was mentioned in any of the texts but she was really nice and when I was all done she wished me a nice day as I left. It was after 6 now I had been there over 2 hours and loved every minute, yes it was $78 for the manicure and pedicure I got plus tip but it is something I love and have not done in over 4 months and my hands and feet looked awesome.

My nails were pretty dry and as I got in the car my mom called me so I turned the air conditioner on and held my fingers in front to completely dry them as I talked to my mom for a while. By the time I was off the phone my fingers were completely dry and I realized I had not eaten yet, so I stopped by McDonalds on my way home and got dinner. not one word about my nails from the guy who took my credit card or the lady who gave me my pop or my food and all 3 had to have seen them.

I got home and it was almost 7 and I debated but did a quick makeup job and put on some hair and a dress then went downstairs to watch a little TV till bedtime. My transformation to Susan was fast and I wasn’t completely happy with the look, but it was just for a couple hours at home, so it was okay. I did get a few pictures of my nails though. It is a wonderful way to start my weekend and I know on Sunday night when I have to remove the pretty red polish I will be sad, but for the next 2 days I will wake up to beautiful nails.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 18, 2020 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday night Zoom meeting

It is another Wednesday night and I get to spend a little time with my friends on a video chat. We are living in a trying time right now and for a while this is the best we can do. I got home a little early again tonight which I like as I can take my time getting ready, for me this is my personal quiet time. It relaxes me and I really think it relieves all my stress in my life. Everyone has something they do just for themselves to relax and becoming Susan, doing my makeup, transforming myself is mine. Most of my friends on my male side often tell me I seem so stress free in my life, but they don’t know why. I was home by 4:30 and started getting ready. I did a dramatic eye look with full eyeliner something I usually don’t do during the week as I have to go to work early tomorrow and a red lipstick and of course a dangly pair of earrings. I am really liking the earrings I so wish I had pierced my ears years ago. I was all ready by 5:45 and yeas tonight I wore my blue dress and heels even though no one would really see my full outfit I felt pretty and that was what counted.

I went got a few pictures before getting my computer going and ready to start the meeting. it was about 6:15 and I decided to call my mom and talk with her for a while and I sat on my deck in the sun while I did. we talked till almost 7 so I started the meeting right at 7 and like always girls were waiting. Now tonight we would have 9 online including two new girls. Myself, Julie, Danika, Jennifer, Melissa, Nicole, Christie, Brandi, and Antonia. Now Brandi is new to our group and has never gone out with us yet and this was her time meeting us, so it was nice to talk with her and learn a little about her. she has gone out some over the last year on her own which is awesome. Antonia is the other new member; she just joined the group in the last few weeks. She lives down in Sacramento and has gone out for years, she is a member of the River City Gems which is which is a big group down there, actually she is one of the founding members of the group. It was great to get to know both of them.

Well we started our conversations and caught up on every one’s week, but the big news was from Jenifer she has been gone the last 2 weeks visiting family. Now she is not transitioning like me and just enjoys spending time as her female self but while on vacation she came out to her family, all her children and brothers and siters and they all are accepting of her. now I think what helps is her wife is accepting and even goes out with her sometime as a matter of fact she joined us tonight also. They think the fact she is okay with it really helped their children be okay with it. We were all so happy for her, she said the reason she told people was because she didn’t like hiding things from her family. I can understand that, I really believe not everyone needs to know if I am not transitioning but I do still wonder about hiding it from my family like when I was talking to my mom or if something happens to me and my brother hast to go through my things, I don’t have kids so that is not a worry but I think that would be the hardest.

Now we got on to Jennifer’s questions and the first was how many dresses and shoe we have and we all took turns. Now something you don’t normally think about, but I guessed 25 to 30 dresses and about 15 pairs of shoes which may not seem like many shoes by some but on my male side I have 4 pairs. Now I will jump ahead as Melissa guessed about the same and the next day she posted an e-mail saying she guessed wrong and had closer to 60 dresses so I decided to count mine and I actually have 42 dresses although a few of them I never wear. She also asked about how many wigs we have, and I am bad about that as I have a hard time getting rid of wigs even if I don’t wear them or they are worn out. I have about 15 even though I only wear about 4 of them. We got talking about them and I remember years ago when we did fun Fridays once a month and would wear different wigs then we normally wore. Any way I told them I was going to dig out one of my old wigs for next Wednesdays Zoom meeting.

We even talked about maybe getting together outside, last week I was getting gas and there in a parking lot of Safeway at the outer edge were 2 cars parked with 2 spaces between them and there were 4 people sitting and they had a table between them with food and were having a picnic in the parking lot and I thought why couldn’t we do that and what would the business say if we did that. I think we could do this and have maybe 6 to 8 with no problem social distancing. Might be something to think about. It was a little after 9 when we lost our first girl and then it went quick as girls signed off and soon it was just Julie and me, but we kept talking till almost 9:45. I really do miss getting together in person with my friends. Well it was late, and Julie and I finally called it a night, it is always sad to see the evening come to an end, but I do need to get to bed. Now I am looking forward to this weekend when I will once again get to spend Saturday and Sunday as Susan.

Stay safe and stay positive till we can get back to normal life and yes, I believe we will. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 17, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday Susan time

It is the second Sunday of July and I once again get to spend the day as Susan. I slept in till 9 before getting up and starting my day. Now I do love being Susan, but it just seems a little better when I can start the day as Susan, in reality for the weekend I am Susan. I get up Saturday morning and become Susan and go back to my male self on Monday morning. Yes, I take my makeup off at night but so do all women. Yes, at night while I am in bed you would never know but I do. Now I often make statements like this and I will get someone who will tell me I am going to Transition and that is not what I want, it is not what is right for me. Yes, when I am Susan, I really think of myself as Susan and yes during that time I really do wish I was Susan but that is only part of my life. When I am not Susan, I am happy with my male self. This is what is right for me.

I took my time getting ready including extra time in my eyes. Yesterday I tried a winged eyeliner with the new eyeliner I bought a couple weeks ago and I am really liking it as it is a pen type and I can get a nice edge I also went with my brownish lipstick today. I also wore my last new pair of dangly earrings today. Now I face that age-old question, do I get another new pair or just go with what I have. My ears have only been pierced for 3 1/2 months and I have 7 pairs of hoops and 3 dangly ones plus the studs I wear every day and I like them all. For now, I will probably just go with what I have. It was about 11 when I got downstairs and got a few pictures before starting my busy day well maybe not that busy.

Now I did have some work to do so that was the first thing on my list, it only took me a little over an hour and then I made lunch. Now about being Susan at home years ago I use to love spending time at home as Susan but once I started going out I really didn’t want to just sit at home as Susan I wanted to be out with people. Now over the last few months my Susan time really has been limited to art home, but it is different. It really is about just being me if that makes since, yes, I am Susan, but I am just being myself. Most of the time I am not really even thinking about it which is good and bad at the same time. Well my mom called me just as I was finishing lunch so I walked out on my deck to talk to her, well as I was out there talking with her I turned and noticed my neighbors were out working on their deck. The man was busy, and I don’t think he even noticed me, but the lady waved at me, so I waved back. Now they only moved in a few months back, so I haven’t even met them yet, it will be interesting when I do though.

Now today is just a day at home watching movies and it is actually a day I have been looking forward to as I will be watching the Hallmark Chanel. Now you may find it funny but I love it as today is their Christmas in July so I will spend the day watching Hallmark Christmas movies. It was a little after 5 when I decided to make dinner, tonight I am BBQ a chicken breast, baked potato and an ear of corn on my grill out on my deck.

It was a wonderful day today and I ended up watching 5 Christmas movies today. I will stay up till 10 when my last movie gets over and then back to my male life till Wednesday nights Zoom meeting with my friends. I am averaging 3 times a week as Susan right now. Stay safe and stay positive and things will get better.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 12, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday at home as Susan

Well it is the weekend and I get to spend it as Susan. now I often talk about accepting who you are and accepting others and not judging and that is something we all need to do and work hard to do better. But there is also another especially important part of our lives especially during these trying times and that is a positive attitude. I always tell people to look on the bright side of things, look for the good in people not the bad. Now as I said in my earlier blog one of the workers where my mom lives tested positive for the Covid-19 virus and as such they are on strict lockdown meaning my mom can’t even leave her room and I once again I can not go over and see her and that is sad and hard, I also don’t know if she has been exposed, I chose to believe she has not. Now on the bright I can still talk to her on the phone, it also gives me the ability to be Susan for the whole weekend, maybe a little selfish as I said no one is perfect and we all have a little bad inside us. The key is to find the good in everything and everybody. So that is my little pep talk for the day.

Now it has been a long week and my plan was to sleep in today, but my mom called a little before 8 to talk as I said she is having trouble with the isolation, so we talked for about 30 minutes. Any way I was up now so I decided to go do a little yard work before it got to warm, that way I would have the rest of the day for Susan. I was back inside by 9:30 and started getting ready. I took my time and as it will be a day at home, I did a more dramatic eye look including trying a winged eye liner and of course a bright red lipstick. I also picked one of my new Dangly earrings, they are a little longer, so they hang down several inches. I think they look cute.

Well I went downstairs and got a few pictures and then watched a little TV, today will be Star Trek the original series as I have it on DVD. I watched one episode and then fixed a little lunch. I was looking at my blog and realized I had not written my blog form Wednesday nights Zoom meeting. I decided to eat my lunch on my deck as I wrote my blog. Now my deck is pretty well hidden now with my grapes except for the one end. Well it turns out my neighbors on that side are refinishing their deck and this weekend they are sanding it down. Well anyway their deck is a little higher than the neighbor in back as they have a raised part so even when I am sitting down, I can see them from the shoulders up. You can see the railing on their deck over the fence. Well I just set up with my back to them so if they looked over that would be all they would see. I wrote my blog and enjoyed the summer weather at least till the wind picked up, it wasn’t cold just blowing my hair, so I went back inside and watched another Star Trek episode. By the way aren’t those cute earrings? It is a relaxing day at home, but I really do wish things were open and we could once again get back to our normal lives.

Well I pretty much spent the day at home relaxing, my new normal. It was about 5 and I was getting hungry and of course I will make my Saturday night trip to Panda Express. Now with the face mask requirement I don’t have to worry bout the bright red lipstick so I should blend pretty easy as I am dressed pretty casual today. I git my purse and was on my way. I got there and got a quick picture in the car before putting my mask on and going inside. Now this is the busiest I have seen them as they are once again open for going inside you just can’t eat there it is still all take out. there were 8 people there, 3 waiting I think they had call in orders, one paying and one waiting to pay one having their order put together, one in front of me ordering and me standing in line and everyone had on masks and were standing at least 6 feet apart. Now the young man who has been here the last several weeks was not there tonight so it was a young lady who helped me and she has helped me before as my male self and as I always get the same thing it does make me a little nervous although she showed no signs she recognized me of course with the mask I doubt any one would. I got my food and went to pay for it. The young lady working the register I had not seen before, but she was nice and told me she loved my earrings which made me feel wonderful. All those years of not wearing earrings I suddenly realize what I was missing. I just couldn’t take the clip-on ones to long, so I just went without. I got my food and was o my way home, a short outing but better than nothing. Now the house across the street from me is for sale and when I got home there were 3 cars with people standing in the street, looks like a relator and a family any way they were standing by one of the cars right next to my drive. I just backed into my garage right by them, wouldn’t it be funny if they turn out to be my new neighbors.

I got home again and ate my dinner and watched a little TV till my normal Saturday night shows came on. Now my mom did call several times today as I said she is having trouble with being locked down. I know she doesn’t know about Susan, but it is still nice to talk to her as the daughter she doesn’t know about. I watched my shows and worked on my blog for today. My shows will go till midnight so by the time I get cleaned up and get to bed it will be late so I will sleep in tomorrow but will have another day as Susan.

Stay safe and stay positive about life and love who you are. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 11, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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