Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Cristine celebration of life

Tonight Saturday February  11, 2017 our group is having a celebration of life for our dear friend Cristine who passed away on February 2 2017. She has been one of our groups longest and supportive members over the last 10 years. It will be hard but we want tonight to be a celebration for her. Cassandra and Peggy are hosting it at their home which so wonderful of them, thanks so much.

Now the celebration is from 7 to 11 but I was going to get there early to see if I can help Peggy and Cassandra set up. Now I started getting ready early so I could be on my way by 5. I got there just about 6 Peggy was finishing up getting everything out and Cassandra and Veronica were all ready. Now I am not even going to try and name everyone here tonight as we had over 30 show up to remember and celebrate Cristine life. NO I did walk around and 20170211_190449take pictures as I wanted to make sure and get a picture of everyone who was there, I did miss several people though so hopefully Cassandra got the as she was also taking pictures. I set my phone on a shelf in the dining room so I could get it easy when I saw new people come in. Now I did manage to get one selfie of myself.

Now by 7 there were a lot of people who had showed up but people would be coming all evening long, some came early and left and others later it was really wonderful to see so many friends here and even some of Bobbie’s family showed up t support him which was wonderful.

Now the food that Peggy and Cassandra had was wonderful, all finger type food, chips, dips, meat balls and of course wonderful cupcakes and brownies. It was awesome and of course I did eat more than I should have especially the desserts. Yes I have a weakness for sweets.

Now Cassandra had a bunch of pictures of Cristine on her TV, 100’s of pictures of her and of course pictures of her with us her family. In a way it was like she was with us all night long. I kept finding myself watching the pictures of her and there were a few time I got a little choked up but we didn’t want this to be a sad event.

I did get to talk with everyone here at one point or another so it was a good night. Even got to meet a few new girls that Victoria brought out. One of them Michelle will be going to Diva Las Vegas, her first time so I will see her again there. By the way we booked our rooms for Diva Las Vegas, we will be staying at the California Hotel Casino in Downtown Las Vegas, it is one of the Boyd Gaming casinos. They have 3 hotel casinos downtown. One of the things if you go to Las Vegas get a players card if you gamble as you do get some good comps. There were lots of Pictures of Cristine when we were in Las Vegas in years past for Diva Las Vegas. We really did share some wonderful times over the years, so many wonderful memories. Even though she is gone from this world she will always be with us in our hears and memories.

By 11 people were leaving and we were down to a smaller group about 15 and we were standing in the kitchen talking about all the wonderful times we had with her. I had planed on leaving at 11 but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. I really wanted to be with my friends tonight. It will make for a short night but it is worth it. We talked for over an hour. I was looking through the pictures from last night and decided to try and list everyone I can that was there, Veronica, Bambi, Kris, Cassie, Kim, Peggy, Cassandra, Cindy and her wife Alice, Teresa, Laura M, Laura H, Lisa, Bobbie, his Sister and Partner, brother and his wife, A couple of his friends, Chris, Roxy, Melissa, Sophie and her wife Lorna, Barb, Kate, Michelle, Jan, Lynn, Marla and her girlfriend, Jamie and her girlfriend, Amber, Shadow, Victoria and a couple of t-girls she brought out for the night, and I am sure I have missed some. Thanks to all who showed up tonight, Cristine would have loved it.

It was 12:15 when I called it a night, I have a 45 minute drive home so it will be about 1 am when I get home which is the latest I have been up in a long time. On the drive home I had a chance to reflect on the evening, I was thinking about the times I had been out with Cristine and even though it would be late when I got home I was going to post the pictures of the night on our groups Facebook page. it is funny as I was about half way home when I was thinking about the pictures when I realized I had left my phone with all the pictures on the shelf at the party so I had to turn around and head back and hope Cassandra was still up. That is the one bad thing about cell phones as if you lose the or just leave them someplace you are really cut off. I couldn’t even call and let them know I was on my way back.

It was about 12:50 when I got back and luckily Cassandra and Veronica were still up cleaning the kitchen of course Cassandra had cleaned up and was back to her male self. I didn’t stay long just enough to get my phone. I was so glad they were still up and I didn’t have to wake them up to get my phone. This is the first time I have left my phone someplace, not a good feeling. Needless to say it was after 1:30 am when I got home so it really was a late night. The pictures will have to wait till Sunday now as I needed to get to bed.

Thanks to Cassandra and Peggy for hosting such a wonderful event and opening their home to us all. and also for all those who showed up for Cristine.

February 12, 2017 Posted by | Party, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner with my friends.

Okay I have been out all day shopping and having fun. I had texted Cassandra and she was already at Fox & Hound so I figured I would go down there early. It was a little after 4:30 when I got there and I found a parking spot right in front. Cassandra was inside on her computer in a chat room. Seems n Wednesday she usually gets here about 2 and plays on her computer. It is funny how we all have our things we enjoy. Me I enjoy going to Starbucks for a couple hours and playing n my computer. I think being out just makes us feel more part of everyday living. Of course I also had my computer so Cassandra was on chat and I was catching up on things on mine as we chatted. We are talking about Diva Las Vegas and how we want to do the trip, we are both planning on going though and the dates are final March 26 – 31.

At 5:30 Cassandra went up by the bar to watch the baseball playoff’s she is a huge LA Dodgers fan. I am kind of hoping the Chicago Cub’s win. It was funny as every so often I would walk up and see how the game was going and during commercials she would walk back to chat on her computer. Now tonight we are going to Alexis Restaurant which s a Greek food place. The group has gone here a few times before but I was never able to make it those night. Any way They are closing in a few weeks as the owner wants to retire and he was unable to sell it. I don’t think I have ever had Greek food so I am kind of looking forward to it even though I am some what of a picky eater.

Cristine showed up and also Julie, the are the regular Wednesday night girls. It was good to see them again and Julie was wearing a black skirt with a sweater type top which looked cute and I only mention this is I also had on a black skirt with a sweater type top. We kind of looked like we coordinated our outfits. We talked for a while as we weren’t going for dinner till 7 and it is only 3 blocks away. Of course the one draw back of getting here early is it is only 2 hour parking so at 6:45 I had to go out and pay for more parking. I was unwilling to gamble on the 15 minutes as with my luck I would get a ticket. Now the funny thing is the parking meters her in Portland take debit or credit cards so I put my credit card in to charge .45 for that last 15 minutes. Seems silly but I have done that many times before as I usually get downtown between 6:30 and 6:45 when I meet my friends so I end up with all these small charges on my credit card.

Well at 7 it was just the 4 of us so we left and I put my computer in my car and grabbed my umbrella as it was raining, not real hard but Susan does not like getting wet. We walked the 3 blocks to Alexis and Jan was there waiting for us so we had 5 for dinner tonight. Seems Wednesday nights are not as popular any more. I think the more our girls in our group go out the more comfortable they become and that may have something to do with it. years ago the only place I went was with the group now I go where ever I want which is a wonderful thing.

Well they were really busy the owner said ever since he said he was closing down they have been packed every night I guess lots of people did what we did and wanted one last meal here. We had to wait about 20 minutes so we stood at the bar yes they were that busy that it was standing room only. We got our table and and we had a couple extra chairs just incase someone else showed up which no one did. Joan ordered some appetizers for the table and they were all good well I wasn’t fond of the calamari but the flaming cheese was awesome. We ordered dinner and Cassandra recommended the Greek potatoes over the rice so that is what I did and it was really good. We ad a wonderful time and after we ate we sat and talked. it was almost 10 when we left.

We walked back and Cassandra, and Joan headed home but Cristine, Julie and I went into CC Slaughters to see what was going on, well actually Cristine had to wait for her ride which would pick her up between 10:15 and 10:45. They were not very busy and Julie and I had fun with our nails. seems the gel polish glows 20161019_215958under the black lights they have in here. the first picture was taken with the flash on and you can see they are red the next 2 were taken with no flash just the lights in the20161019_220018 bar and they have a pinkish glow to them. Julie and I were having so much fun, we seem to be amused with the simple things. Of course we both love pretty nails.

Julie and I talked about getting together, we had hoped to go shopping one day this week and maybe look at wigs but tomorrow she has 2 appointments so she wont be able to even start getting ready till 20161019_2201004 so we are going to meet for dinner which will be fun.

I am not sure what I will do but I will be out during the day as Susan and probably do some more shopping before meeting up with Julie. Okay I also am including this last picture whish is Julies nails under the black light. where mine were a red color hers is just a very neutral color maybe a champagne it really has almost no color.

It was a fun night out and about 10:30 Julie and I20161019_220042 called it a night. Now to plan for tomorrow. wow this week is going fast and soon it will be over and I will go back to plain old nails with no color, how sad is that.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.


October 20, 2016 Posted by | Dinner out, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A fun Wednesday night out

Well Wednesday night and I had the opportunity to go out with my friends and I was really looking forward to it. Now I got home about 5:15 so I had to hurry so I had already decided what I was going to wear, my salmon color top and my short tight black skirt I bout a while ago and still have not worn. I was straight into the shower and then onto my makeup. Now having everything planned out, way to do my makeup and my outfit made it a lot easier as I was ready and out the door by 6:10. Now as I was leaving I thought the skirt may be a little on the short side hut then it was a really nice day and a lot of girls were wearing shorts so I figured I could get away with it.

I got downtown to Fox & Hound and found my parking spot by 6:30. Chris, Roxy, Julie, Cassandra and Cristine were all there so I joined them. Julie, Cassandra and I talked about how we wanted to do our Saturday night dinners. We are planning to start them next month and we have decided the third Saturday of the month as we do the first Saturday at Harvey’s. After this was settled Julie and I talked about my day Monday out shopping as she had read my blog we had a nice conversation. Soon it was 7 and time to walk the couple blocks to House of Louie for dinner, yes we were doing Chinese tonight which is always good. We got there and Kim was already there waiting for us so we had 7 for dinner tonight.

We talked for a little bit to see if any other girls would show up but none did. Cassandra came up with the idea that thought was good that we should post more in the group about helping others come out. Our core group has become so comfortable and relaxed in going out that we may have forgotten about what it was like when we first started going out, even places we knew catered to T-girls and we knew other T-girls would be at we still had the fear of walking in alone so it must be hard to go to some of the places we go now that are just mainstream. We really need to get back to helping everyone become more comfortable in getting out so with that if you are reading my blog and want to go out in Portland and need some help please feel free to contact me. Well we finally ordered dinner and had a nice conversation while we ate. It was just a fun night. It is amazing how fast it went by and soon it was after 9 and they were closing.

We left House of Louie and of course Kim had to leave so we said our goodbyes. The rest of us walked back to CC Slaughters. Julie wanted to stop at the Escape Lounge on Sandy (9004 sandy) as a few of the girls went here the other week and as I had not been there before I told her I would go with her. The rest of the group went into CC Slaughters so we said our goodbyes. Now I knew where 90th and sandy was I just wasn’t 1005 sure how the best way to get to Sandy from downtown was and of course I did not have my GPS so I made a guess and only made 1 wrong turn which only took me a few blocks out of my way so Julie was already there when I got there.

I went in and Julie was at the bar so I joined her. There were maybe 10 other people here. The bartender came over and got me a drink and Julie and I sat and talked. Now this place is bigger than Sweethome and does have a pool table which a few of the customers were using as a runway for their remote controlled helicopters, well really quadcopters as they had 4 propellers. Even the bartender was flying his around the bar. One was really small and fast and when I first saw it I thought there was a bird in the bar. Well I was fascinated by them so I went over and talked with the guys flying them and found out more about them.

Julie and I got back to talking and of course we talked about makeup and nails especially about getting our nails done, Manicures and Pedicures. Turns out we both love doing this. Julie actually has Shellac on her nails all the time and then just put red nail color on when she wants to go out. She even goes to the nail salon as her male self and has them put color on. Anyway I would love to get pedicures and maybe manicures more often but the salon I love and have been going to is about 45 minutes away and that is with no traffic which means I can only do it on Saturdays or if I get lucky and have a day off during the weeks as I would have a hard time after work getting home, dressed and getting to the salon. Now I have found one well actually they are everyplace but I found one that gets great reviews that is less than a ½ mile from my house so it would be very convenient to go to. Now I have always had the rule of never going someplace within 5 miles of where I live but I have been stopping at the gas station right by my house, as a matter of fact will stop there tonight on the way home and no problems. And the nail salon is just across the street. Now I will admit that stopping at a gas station and going into a salon for 45 minutes to an hour is a little different. There is a lot greater risk of running into someone I know here but I am to the point I really don’t care as much. That is not to say I am going to go out to my neighbors and friends and say here I am but I am going to live my life how I want and the way it makes me feel happy. So I think when I am ready for a new pedicure probably in a month or so I am going to try them out.

Well Julie and I were talking when this man came over and asked if we wanted to play pool so I said I would play and Julie would play the winner, his name I think was Michael. Now I had on my 4 inch heels and my short tight black skirt so I was suddenly very conscious when I would bend over to shoot so I was constantly adjusting the skirt hem which I have seen girls do also. Well the first game I made some really good shots including banking the 8 ball in to win. So Julie racked the balls and I played her and I won again. Now 2 games on my feet in the heels and I could feel it besides they were a little sore already from the walking to Fox & Hound, then dinner then back to Fox & Hound and the to the car as all together this was between 6 and 7 blocks of walking.

The 3rd game I again played Michael and it was a good game and again I won by cutting the 8 ball into the side pocket and leaving the cue ball just short of going in the corner pocket, I actually thought I was going to scratch. So I played yet a 4th game against Julie. Now throughout this game the 8 ball was right in front of one of the corner pockets and we both had to get a couple of our balls away from it. Finally Julie and I were both down to our last ball and we knew who ever sunk their first would win as the 8 ball was just balancing on the edge of the pocket so as we shot at our ball the goal was to not leave the other a good shot at their ball. Well it was Julie’s turn and she made a real good shot and cut her ball into the pocket. Well she shot the 8 ball in and as it was just balancing in the edge there was nothing to stop the cue ball and as she hit it straight the cue ball followed it in so I actually won 4 games in a row.

It was a really fun night and the Escape Lounge was a nice place to go. I guess they do Karaoke her on Saturday nights and from what we herd the place is really busy then so maybe we will have to check it out one of these Saturday night. It was almost midnight when Julie and I called it a night. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed the one on one time with Julie.

Thanks for reading and have a great day.

August 7, 2014 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Update on P-Club

Well it is over!

I wanted to give an update on our P-Club issue. Now Cassandra got a call from our Attorney the other day, now we are still waiting on official word on this but what we have heard is this. After Chris Penner lost he planned on appealing to the Oregon Court of appeals. Now he had not done anything as far as appealing so in May the state seized his bank accounts which caused him to have to close the P-Club. Well it turns out he has asked for 3 extensions on filing his appeal so it has been almost a year now. Now what we are hearing is the other day his Attorney finally filed the paperwork with the appeals court but it was after the his last extension had run out and he had not asked for another extension or contacted the court saying he needed more time so the court ruled that because he had not done anything during all that time nor notified the court or asked for yet another extension that the case is closed. In other words if this holds true the case is all over and we won and there is nothing he can do, he can no longer appeal so the judgment stands. We may never see any money but the ruling is worth way more. We are a little disappointed that it ends without an appellate judge ruling but still a big victory.

Here is a little history of this event.

In June 2012 Chris Penner left two voice mails on Cassandra cell phone informing us he did not want us to come to his bar because people thought it was either a gay or transgender bar and that was not what he wanted.

In July 2012 we met with an Attorney and investigators from BOLI (Bureau of Labor and Industries) thinking we would be filing a suit against Chris Penner. The attorney Beth Allen wanted to take our case on and the People from BOLI informed us that the commissioner Brad Avakian wanted to file the complaint in his name and use us as witnesses so we agreed.

In October 2012 BOLI found that we were discriminated against in violation of law.

In May 2013 we had two days of hearing in front of a judge on this case.

In August 2013 we found out the judge ruled in our favor and we were once again interviewed.

In July 2014 informed Chris Penner failed to file an appeal on time after several extensions. He can no longer appeal and the judgment stands.

July 13, 2014 Posted by | P-Club, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Cold Friday night out with friends 1/11/13

Well it has been another long week but a good one. Last night Susan entertained for her first time ever at home which was really a big step and just goes to show how much Susan has grown and evolved over the last few years and it is all because of my wonderful and supportive friends I have. Well as I said it is Friday night and I can think of nothing better than spending time with my friends so I started getting ready as I wanted to be ready to leave by 6:30 so I could be to Sweethome before 7 as it only take me 20 to 30 minutes to get there from where I live. I actually spent a lot of time tonight thinking about what I would wear as girls tend to do that plus tomorrow is our Saturday night to go to Harvey’s so had to take that into consideration. I finally decided on my grey sweater dress as it is cute and warm.

I was out the door right on time and driving down the freeway when I hit traffic and that is an understatement it was almost completely stopped. Turns out they had a stall or wreck ahead blocking the center lane so here I sat. I debated about going another rout but that would add 10 miles to my trip so I just figured not much difference well I was wrong as it took me over an hour to go 3 miles and so my 20 to 30 minute trip turned into an hour and 20 minutes so I got to Sweethome at 7:50 which is the latest I have ever been. Now I was not that bothered by the delay after all back in December I learned that it is sometime good to be delayed and in a funny way it was kind of fun to be stuck in traffic as it seemed like such a normal thing in one’s life, I mean I sit in traffic as my male self all the time right. After all that is what I want for Susan to be just as much a normal part of my life as my male self.

Well I finally made it to Sweethome and the only drawback was I missed about an hour of time I could have spent with my friends. Samantha, Cassandra, Chris, Roxy, Wilma and Amy were all there so the table was kind of full but I could squeeze on more stool in so I did between Chris and Wilma as I really wanted to talk to her. Wilma has not been out with the group for a while as she has been working a lot over the Holidays so it was great she made it as it is always nice to see her out.

Samantha has also been getting out with the group more, she is not a member but she e-mails me to see if we are going out and then drives up and joins us and for her that is about a 2 hour drive. It is great that having a group like this that does go out regularly makes it so easy for t-girls to get out as they know they won’t be alone which makes a big difference.

Katie, Bobby and Cristine also showed up. It has been awhile since Katie has been out with the group so it was good to see her. Katie didn’t stay long as her and Amy were going over to Vancouver to Tiger Lily.

Kim also made it which is nice as she has been coming out a lot with the group lately. It also gave us a chance to talk about the movie we watch last night at my place. well we found out that some of the girls loved the movie and some did not and that is okay as we all don’t need to like the same thing just accept each other’s right to their opinion, wow the same goes for how we act or dress. Funny how even small things like this mimic life. Well we all got talking about movies and Kim brought up the Rocky Horror picture show and it turns out one of the theaters here does a midnight showing of that movie every Saturday so we as a group plan on going in a couple weeks. Cassandra went over and talked to the Karaoke group about it and it looks like they are now planning on going the same night as us, how fun would that be.

Heather also showed up, she is one of the Karaoke group but do to work and other things has not been out for a while, she came over and talked with us. She is really nice and always fun to talk too. It is funny as in some ways our two groups have kind of connected which makes it a really fun place to be.

Well Karaoke started and of course Kim and Chris sang “I got you Babe” and did a fabulous job. They actually sang twice and did great both times. I even did get up once as last week I promised Kelsey I would sing with her and her and her fiancé showed up and she asked me if I was going to sing with her as I said last week so I agreed and she put our names in. we sang “old time rock and roll” and as well as I know the song being up in front with people looking at me I really had to focus and read the words so I didn’t screw up. It really was fun though and I am sure I will sing again, not by myself as I am not ready for that but I could do a duet with others. It is a little less scary when you are not up there alone.

It was a fun night and always a great way to end a week. I think friends play such a big part in one’s life, they shape who we are and I am truly blessed to have such awesome friends.

There was this one guy who kept coming over and messing with our group. He had on the horrible fake mustache and beard and was coming over and hitting on one of us after another. He even asked me to dance and I politely turned him down as I really can’t dance. Then he offered to buy me a drink or food, very persistent and I was trying to be nice but something was failure about him I just couldn’t place it. After all going out as much as I do now I have met so many people as Susan. it took this poor blonde a while to realize it was our own Michelle, she had not had time to get dressed as Michelle so she went the other way and was having fun with the group. She got everyone as none of us figured it out right away. Very funny Michelle, will have to think of something for you. Either way it was great she could still make it out with the group.

Thanks for reading and have an awesome weekend and a better week ahead.

January 12, 2013 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Different kind of post today

Hi All and forgive me for this post but as I said this blog was set up for me and for me I need to do this blog. We all like to think that the transgender community is one big happy family but as in all groups that is not always the case which is very sad as how can we expect others outside of our community to accepts us and treat us with respect if we cannot even do that among ourselves.

We have a former member of our group the Rose City T-Girls that left the group because she had a fight, disagreement with another member. We are not sure of what it was about as the girl who is still a member has not really made it public in the group what happened which shows a lot of class on her part.

The T-Girl who left started off making attacks against this one member and they have been public attacks online on public web pages. From there she started attacking other members of the group who had nothing to do with what happened other than being friends of the one T-Girl and even now is attacking everyone in the group with her posts and I guess in a broader look all transgender people who are larger than the average woman or older and can’t pass which is totally wrong and sad.

with what is going on with some of us filing a complaint against the P-Club for asking us not to come back because we are transgender there are now video interviews of several of the girls online from the different new channels and as always you can make comments which has given her a hug ability to make these attacks and some are pretty sad and petty. One has to think with the amount of time and effort she spends keeping track of a group she didn’t want to be a part of and the time involved in making these posts and attacks that she must be really unhappy with her own life as she can’t move on and forget about us and the only thing she can do is try to make our lives miserable. It really is sad.

Well any way she has been posting about all the problems we caused at the P-club which we did not and that we deserved to be kicked out which we did not, basically making this whole thing are fault which again it is not so I thought what better way to show this then use her own words as she has left many comments on my blog over the years. I guess she didn’t stop to think that things you put online stay for people to see over and over again. I will put all of them below but I wanted to highlight this comment first as back in February of 2011 we had heard a rumor there was an issue with us being at the P-Club which nothing ever happened and when we asked the bar staff they assured us there was no problems.

Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!


These are all of her comments and the post she left them on and all were very supportive of the group accept for one which was after she left the group. And they back up how much fun we and her had at the P-Club and that we never caused a problem there. Thanks for reading and allowing me to get this off my chest.

A new path on Friday nights June 23 2012 (notice on this comment no hugs Jennifer)

Your logic is severely flawed, Susan. How do you deduce from my statement that I’m putting down all transgendered people? Nothing in my comment makes a blanket statement towards all transgendered people. It’s obvious tat I was referring specifically to the obnoxious trannys who show up at the P-Club week after week making a spectacle of themselves. How that can be misconstrued as a statement towards all transgendered individuals is beyond my comprehension. Are you insinuating that anybody who considers themselves transgendered is above reproach, and therefore never at fault for anything? That’s silly. My point is simply that you’re fooling yourselves if you think that you were kicked out of the P-Club for any other reason than you own actions. You brought it on yourselves, and now you’re trying to make the owner the bad guy.

Tuesday night finally out again at Starbucks April 26 2011

Oh Susan, speaking of neighbors I am having some funny “neighbor issues” myself lately. There are multiple stories, and they’re a bit lengthy to post them all here, so I’ll have to tell them to you sometime soon. The one that I have to mention really quickly is that I have a new neighbor, and the first time that he met me was when I was dressed as Jennifer as he was moving his stuff in. He was blatantly ogling over my body, then he looked up at my face and I could tell from the look in his eye that he was instantly disgusted. The expression changed on his face so rapidly that it was hilarious, and I couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. Days later when he formally met me when I was in guy mode, he refused to shake my hand. Anyway, there is much more to this story, plus a couple of other neighbor stories that I have to tell you sometime. They’re all hilarious, though!

Love the blog, as always!


Awesome Friday with friends March 19 2011

Yes Susan, count me as one of the ones who is definitely going to Diva Las Vegas next year! I’ll definitely miss seeing you the next several Fridays. I can’t make it to the P-Club this Friday because I have to get up really early on Saturday morning. This will be the first Friday that I’ve missed going to the P-Club since mid-December! Yikes! Also, like you, I HATE having my photo taken as a guy. But Jennifer can’t get enough of the camera! So I understand what you mean. It’s is so weird!


A cold night out for the girls here in Portland February 26 2011

Great blog as always, Susan! And yes, Misty already has some photos on the group page. I posted them last Saturday. So she has several of them posted on there, as a matter of fact. Good job of “finding” her, Susan! She is so much fun! Also, it’s not surprising that you get so many hits on your webpage(s). Norma and I were talking about your webpage and blog this past Sunday night, and we were discussing how great we think it is and what a good job that you do. We stop by and read it on an almost daily basis to see updates. Keep up the great blogging!


6 Weeks to Diva Las Vegas February 16 2011

“People go camping for a week or two but this does not mean they want to live in a tent for the rest of their lives…” Oh my god, that is such a perfect analogy! I love it!


Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!


Diva Las Vegas here I come February 5 2011

Well crap, there is no way that I can make Diva Las Vegas this year. Not only do I have a roller derby bout the weekend before, and a race the weekend after, but now I find out that I have to go to Hood River, Oregon for work for two and a half days in the middle of that week! I hardly ever have to travel for my job, but wouldn’t you know it that this would be the year and the week that I have to go out of town. I am DEFINITELY in for next year, though! That gives me plenty of time to schedule the time off and to shop, shop, shop for Vegas clothes. I’m bummed that I can’t make it this year, but put me down for next year for sure!


Passing in public February 2 2011

I am really shocked to read that you feel that you don’t pass, Susan! I’ve always thought of you as passing. I have shown your photo to a number of GG friends of mine and they all swear that you are a GG. As a matter of fact, I got into a heated argument with a GG friend of mine over you because she thought that I was lying to her. It wasn’t until I thought to show her your blog and website that she believed me! Then she was just shocked and kept saying how beautiful you are. Your makeup is always absolutely perfect and your eyes are gorgeous feminine eyes. I think that the eyes have a lot to do with passing. They’re not the only factor, of course, but they’re a big part. I think that you focus on what you perceive to be your flaws (we all do that). For example, you mentioned that you feel that your size has a lot to do with why you feel that you don’t pass. Well, that GG friend of mine who got into a heated argument with me over whether or not you’re a GG, is only 5’3 and 118 lbs., and she swore up and down that you were a GG!!! So your size may only be a factor in your own mind. I know plenty of attractive GG’s that are as tall as or taller than you. I know that we all have our own definition of what “passing” is, but if you cause a big argument between two friends over the identity of your gender, then that’s passing in my book!


Shuffleboard, pool and dancing at the p-club January 29 2011

Great blog, Susan! Yes, it was a different DJ that night, and her music selection wasn’t that great. So I played with my new camera to keep myself busy. It was a great time! Enjoyed finally meeting Alice, too!


New Years eve with friends January 1 2011

Thank you so much for the compliment on the dress! As you know, you are my hero, so any compliment from you means a lot to me! I bought that dress for only $15 at an after Christmas sale at Deb at the Lloyd Center Mall. It was 75% off! It’s my new favorite dress, and it’s the least expensive one that I own! Imagine that. It was my first strapless dress, and it has inspired me, because I’ve since purchased another strapless one to wear on Valentine’s Day! I can’t wait!


Friday at the p-club January 8 2011

Yes Susan, it was a great night (from what I can remember of it)! I danced for hours, over the course of which I drank too much and paid dearly for it the next day. Oh well, I had a blast like I always do with you girls! Thank you so much again for the link to the makeup videos. I watched several of them last night. I like her style a lot, and she is very easy to watch/listen to. And you’re right, she DOES make it look easy! Thanks again and I can’t wait to see you again!


Small group at P-Club November 13 2010

Great blog! You captured the evening perfectly, Susan. And you’re correct, I DID have a great time and I could NOT stop smiling the whole time! So much fun! I can’t wait to go out again! You girls are the best!


August 12, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, P-Club, Rose_City_T-Girls, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Interesting Wednesday afternoon for Susan at an Attorney’s office

Well Wednesday July 25th 2012 was a really interesting Wednesday for Susan and for reasons you will read I had to put off making this blog. First I will start with a little background. As you all know from reading my blog our group was asked not to come back to the P-Club by the owner Chris Penner, he actually called Cassandra and left two different voice mails for her about it. Well so all the group could hear what he said she posted it on her YouTube page. Well she also sent the link to this page to the State Attorney Generals office along with a couple local attorneys never really thinking anything about it.

Well one of the attorney’s Beth Allen contacted Cassandra and wanted her to call her and talk to her about it which Cassandra did; she got a free half our phone interview. From this interview Beth Allen believed the Chris Penner violated the law as well as our right under discrimination laws and offered to represent us on contingency. She wanted to meet with Cassandra and a few others that were there on a regular basis. Cassandra said she would talk to a few that were there every week and get back to her. Any way Cassandra met with me, Victoria, Chris and Cristine on Wednesday July 11 at the Rainbow Room to get our opinions and to talk about if we should go forward or not and what kind of issues we might have. We all talked for over an hour and most of the discussion was on reasons we shouldn’t and what might happen or go wrong, mainly being outed for us and possibly members of the group as our group is the main concern. After all the discussion the group came to the conclusion what Chris Penner did was wrong and to keep this from happening at other places we may wish to go we needed to at least meet with Beth Allen and talk with her face to face and get our questions answered so Cassandra set up a meeting with the 5 of us and her on August 1 at her office. Mind you we still had not said yes or no we just had questions that needed being answered and all of us were in total agreement.

Now Beth Allen contacted the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries also known as BOLI to get some information on this and how to proceed. BOLI is the state agency who investigates among other things civil rights violations. Now normally how it works is you file a complaint with BOLI and they investigate, if they find that you have a valid complaint they will file the complaint for the persons making the claim in that persons name. Any way from the information they got from Beth’s questions and the YouTube video they contacted Beth Allen and asked to meet with her and the 5 of us on Wednesday July 25th at 3 pm so Beth contacted Cassandra and asked to move our meeting up one week. So this is how we got to my interesting Wednesday afternoon, going downtown Portland in at 2 pm as Susan to meet with an Attorney and a representative for BOLI.

Now this was going to be a fast day as I got off work at 12 and it takes me ½ hour to get home and I need ½ hour to get back downtown Portland to Beth Allen’s office and that is if there is no traffic issues which left little time to get ready so I laid all my stuff out the night before. Turns out traffic was light and I was home by 12:30 and all ready to leave by 1:15 which I think is a personal record for Susan getting ready, shower, shave, makeup, cloths, jewelry and nails and I still looked pretty. Well I drove downtown and only hit a little traffic but easily made it. There is a parking garage about a block away. Now walking downtown on a nice warm day is really nice and there were so many people out. I met Chris out front of the office building about 1:45 and could see Cassandra and Cristine walk up the street so we waited for them and all went inside together. Pretty good timing so far. When the elevator opened we found Victoria who had parked in the garage under the building riding up so all 5 of us went up together. Peggy Cassandra’s wife was already in the office waiting for us.

We met with Beth Allen and her law clerk for about an hour and got to ask all kinds of questions and she told us a little about BOLI and how they wanted to proceed. Our biggest question about privacy for our group members and possibilities of being outed in public were answered and Beth assured us that was not an issue. Only those willing to be involved in the case and giving their names would be involved and the rest of the group would not be involved at all. With our questions answered we were all feeling better about this. Now it was almost 3 and we were already to meet with the representative of BOLI and answer their questions.

Now it was not one representative from BOLI but 4, an Administrator and 3 investigators so now the 6 of us were in an office with Beth Allen, her law clerk and 4 state officials from BOLI. Now to the funny part, they really didn’t have a lot of questions for us but rather told us what they wanted to do. Seems they have already started checking into Chris Penner and the P-Club. Turns out the Commissioner of BOLI feels pretty strong about this case, so much so that he wants to file the complaint in his name, he would be the plaintiff and we would be secondary, basically witnesses. Turns out the voice mail he left where he singled out us as tyranny’s they feel is incredibly strong evidence. They are actually ready to start the process all they need is a few of us which is different then what we thought. They are coming to us.

Anyway we talked with them for over an hour and a half again asking a lot of the same questions we asked Beth as I said our group is the main concern and we want to protect it above all else. Again they told us the same thing; it would only be those who were willing to be witnesses and be involved in the case, everyone else in the group would not be involved in any way.

Now mind you the goal we all have is to tell Chris Penner and any other business out there that they cannot discriminate against transgender people, be it transsexuals, t-girls, or crossdressers. Now we realize BOLI can and will probably place a fine on him as in anything you get people’s attention when you hit them in the pocket book. We are not out to bankrupt him or put him out of business as we really do like the employee’s there as they treated us so great for the two years we went there. But like I said this type of action against transgender people cannot be tolerated so we all decided as a group we should go forward. With that all that was left were to sign onto the complaint.

Now Victoria and Cristine are full time and have legally changed their name so they were the first to Sign. Chris who is a supporter of the transgender community and most of those who know him know this also signed. Cassandra also signed, she is not out publicly as far as both sides of her. I also signed but asked that my male name be left out unless absolutely necessary as I still have kept both sides separate. Now I know that even doing it this way there is a good chance I could be outed but I feel this is worth it as discrimination is wrong in any sense and I guess I am ready to stand up.

None of us knows what will happen but we are sure that there will be media coverage as these types of cases get played up in the news plus in a way that is the point. If this does not get out to the public so they know that they cannot discriminate then this is all for nothing as I said that is our goal. For Transgender people to be able to go where they want, work where they want and not be afraid of being discriminated against.

We also agreed to have Beth Allen represent us in this as our attorney which she is doing totally on contingency. It will cost us nothing. She feels that BOLI along with fines will probably ask for attorney fees to be paid, but even so she is taking this on realizing she may get nothing off of the case. That is how strong she feels about this. Turns out she does a lot of GBLT cases in Oregon and is a big supporter of this cause. From talking to her and meeting her I would highly recommend Beth Allen if you need an attorney.

It was about 4:45 when we were all done. The people from BOLI thanked us and said they would be in touch with Beth to help write the complaint and keep us up to date on the case. Seems this is the first of this type of case in Oregon. Hard to believe that just 4 or 5 years ago I was too scared to really go out of my house and now I am involved in something this big. I am still a little scared about the future and being outed but not nearly as much as I would have thought.

Well from here we all went over to Fox & Hound which I already blogged about.

This was a little longer than my normal blog but felt it needed to be to make sure I got it just right. Thanks for reading and of course I will update as I can.

August 8, 2012 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A new path on Friday night

Well it is Friday night and time to go out. We can no longer go to the P-Club as you read in my previous post “We say goodbye to the P-Club” so the plan was to meet at Fox & Hound for dinner at 7:30 and talk about what we wanted to do. Now we have gone through this before. I guess it is hard to find a place that will accept a large group. I guess if it was just 2 or 3 of us going someplace we would be easier overlooked then when say 20 to 40 of us show up but then we are a group of friends, a family if you wish so we need to find a place that will be just as happy with a couple of us or the whole group.

Well I have got a little off track but as long as I am, Cassandra posted a YouTube video where she played the two messages that Chris the owner of the P-Club left on her phone asking us not to come back. Now the bad part is a former member of our group left a comment on the video that was very derogatory in nature to all transgender people which I found surprising because she is also a crossdresser which means basically speaking about herself as well.

What did you morons think was going to happen? A bunch of big, old, fat dudes in dresses show up every week and make a spectacle of themselves, and you’re shocked that you got kicked out?? Heck, I’m a crossdresser, and I couldn’t stand that scene anymore. So you can imagine what the general public thinks! The owner started complaining over a year ago about your group going there, yet you chose to ignore him and continue to go there anyway. I’m shocked that he was as nice about it as he was

Now as a transgender community if this is how we treat and talk about each other than how in the world can we expect people from outside of our community to respect us and treat us with dignity. Yes Cassandra deleted the comment as I would have if this was left on my blog. We as a community need to stick together and it does not matter if you are transgender, transsexual, transvestite, or a crossdresser, and it does not matter if you dress all the time once a week, once a year, or if you dress completely or just like to wear a couple items we are all part of the transgender family. Okay I will get off my soap box now.

Well I got to Fox & Hound at 7:30 and for a Friday night found a parking spot right on the corner between the 2 places we would be tonight, felt like I won the lottery as parking downtown on a weekend is hard. Cassandra was the only one there so far so I joined her at the bar for a drink, my usual Sprite. We talked for a while and one of the bar tenders gave us a tip on a place to go that he says would love to have us so we will have to check that out.

About 8 we moved to a table in hopes others would show up and so we could order dinner as we were both hungry. Victoria showed up and the 3 of us ordered some food and talked. Bobby and Jen, Jen in boy mode showed up. I think this is the first time I have ever met this Jen before but then again I may have met her female self. We had a good dinner and then about 9:30 we decided to go over to the Boiler room.

Now for those who don’t know the boiler room it is the best place in Portland to go if you want to do Karaoke not that I can sing. They also have a pool table so we could do that. They were already packed and yes they check ID which does make a girl feel good but not sure what they could tell as none of us really look like our pictures on the ID except for Victoria as she went full time last fall. We made our way back by the pool table and found a few seats.

Now the Boiler Room is a 1/3 the size of the P-Club and they had more people there then the P-Club has had on their busiest night, you could hardly move and the bar staff never stopped working. Now the group has gone here many times on Wednesday nights so the staff knows some of the girls but this was the first on a Friday night. We did get a few looks but after the initial look they went back to what they were doing which was singing and having a good time.

The other difference which I really liked is all the woman were dressed up. I would say 1/3 had in dresses and most had on heels which other than our group at the P-Club the woman did not do. And some of the heels and dresses were awesome. It was fun just to people watch.

Bob showed up with his girlfriend Carol, I met her Wednesday night for the first time at CC’ Slaughters which is right across the street by the way. She is really nice and we had a good conversation. I am not sure how we got on the subject of Halloween but Cassandra challenged her to get Bob to dress as a woman next year and she thought that was a great idea, she said she would dress as a man and Bob as a woman. That would be so fun.

There was one girl there in this really awesome dress and I stopped her as she went by and told her how great her dress was. Now she was this tiny thing of course most are next to me but the dress was gorgeous but I know it would not look the same on me. She thanked me and we chatted for a couple minutes. A little later her and her friend came over and we talked some more. They loved my hair, well not my hair although I did buy it so I guess it is mine. They also loved my nails so we all compared our nails. Theirs were beautiful too plus theirs were acrylic.

I did play 2 games of pool, won the first and lost the second. Another girl came by with these really awesome heels so I complimented her on her heels and she stopped and we chatted for a while. It really is funny if you tell someone how cute they look or you like their dress or heels it is a great way to break the ice and start a conversation. It really was a fun night and went by way to fast.

Soon it was almost 2 am and they were still packed. Usually on Fridays when we leave the P-Club we are the last ones, tonight when we left there were still 50+ people there still singing, dancing and having a good time. We still don’t know what we will do on Friday nights, find one place to go or mix it up and alternate places. I put a post in the group for ideas as I really think everyone should have input. That way it is not left up to a few or one to decide as that is not fair plus there are always those who say we do the same thing all the time but never come up with ideas for things to do. Of course now that I have said that I need to make sure I also give my input.

Well thanks for reading and have a great week.

June 23, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Vanity Club

Wow I remember years ago maybe 10 years coming across a web page called the Vanity Club. It is a group of transgender woman from all over and they were all so beautiful and self confident in whom they are. Simple put they are what all transgender people aspire to be from crossdresser to transsexual. The group is small only 250 maximum and is by invitation only from a current member and even then there is a vote of the current membership so not just something someone joins.

Well it turns out I know a Vanity Club member and nominated me for membership a couple months ago so I filled out the application and sent it in and yes you guessed it. I was elected into the Vanity club the end of May so I am now a proud member (571) of the Vanity club. It is funny how things work out.

Now as I said they have members all over the country and as I don’t get to travel much it will be hard for me to meet them but I hope to some day. Any way just wanted to share my news with my readers.



Vanity Club member 571

June 2, 2012 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Friday night at P-Club after missing 4 Fridays

Well Friday came and I was so glad as I have wanted to get out with my friends for a long time. It is hard to believe I have missed the last 4 Friday nights out, hope they remember my name? Just kidding as I saw them all at the fantastic Halloween party but there is just something fun about being out in public with them.

I started getting ready a little after 5 so I could try to get to the P-Club by 7 as Cassandra said she would be there early but as normal Susan takes a little time to get ready so it was almost 7 when I left home but as I only have a 20 minute drive I was there by 7:15. I found a parking spot right outside the door on the street which was nice as it was raining and Susan does not like her hair or makeup to get wet, she is such a girly girl. Cassandra and Chris were already there so I joined them and our night was off to a good start. Nicole the one bar tender brought me a drink before I could even order which was nice, I guess I am still remembered; actually the staff at the P-Club is awesome.

I was hungry so I ordered some dinner; they have a good menu and reasonable prices something every girl on a budget likes. Soon others from our group started to show up. Not sure how many we had as I am blonde after all but I think it was around 10 maybe a couple more, a smaller group but still a lot of fun.

Victoria was there and told us all about how things were going now that she is out and living full time. She came out at work about 6 weeks ago and has just legally changed her name now. We are all so proud of her as she is living her life the way she wants’ to live it’. She is the first person at her company to go through this so she is a real pioneer and the company so far is doing a good job with this.

Kristy also made it which is nice as she lives a ways a way so she doesn’t stay out too late. It was good to see her again and talk with her. She has also told some of the people she works with that she likes to dress which takes guts.

Amy also made it and brought a guy with her she met at the Qcenter. He is also a t-girl named Trisha but was in boy mode. He use to belong to our little group so hopefully he will join again. He seemed really nice and has beautiful long hair that any girl would love to have. He showed us a couple pictures of him dressed and just beautiful. Any way Amy and Trisha played Victoria and me in shuffle board, Trisha had never played so we gave her a quick overview of the game. He did pretty well but Victoria and I won both games we played.

One of the highlights of the evening was when one of the regular ladies came over to talk to us, I think she said her name was Rachel, remember I am blonde and don’t always get names right. She told us they, her and her friends were glad to see us back and that they had missed us last week. Because of the Halloween party everyone stayed home Friday to get ready for the party Saturday. She said when we didn’t show up last week they went and asked the bar staff where we were, the staff told them we had a big Halloween party but how awesome is that. They liked us enough to find out why we weren’t there on the first Friday we missed. We talked with her for a few minutes and thanked her before she went back and joined her friends but this really made our night.

The night was fun and some played pool and shuffle board. I think that is what is nice about the P-Club, lots of things to do. Well by 11 pm the club was really busy and at one point there was a huge crowed up by us playing pool and shuffle board which is always nice as we can people watch. The club started to slow down about 1 Am but a few of us were not ready for the night to come to an end so a couple of the girls started playing pool again while the rest of us watched and kept chatting.

The night ended with Cassandra and Cristine challenging Victoria and myself to a shuffle board game. Cassandra is so competitive and good at everything so if you can win against her your night is complete. They took the lead and at one point were winning 19 to 10 (we play to 21). That is when Victoria and I stepped up our game. In the end we won 22 to 19 (we scored 4 on the last shot), what a fun time and a fun night.

We all paid our bills and said our goodbyes till next Friday. I think we left a little after 2 Am which is a little later than we normal stay but we were having such a good time. It was a little chilly outside when we left, I guess fall is in the air but with that it also get dark earlier in the evening so hopefully more of our group will be able to get out as some really don’t like going out when it is light out. I remember when I use to wait till 10 pm and sneak out for fear one of my neighbors would see me. Funny how far I have come, still don’t want them to find out but have come to realize that at some point they will as I will not stop going out and now don’t care what time it is or how light it is out when I leave.

Well thanks for stopping by and reading and have a great week.

November 5, 2011 Posted by | P-Club, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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