Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday shopping

Well I have finished my shopping as I need to get home and changed for work tonight but it has been a fun day. As you know from my earlier post I started off at Starbuck’s by Tanasbourne Center. Great place and very friendly. I dressed casual as I want to blend in as much as possible, so I wore my Capri jeans and pink top and the black wig I borrowed from Maya for the T-girl Pageant. I took it with me last night to Cassandra’s in case Maya was there as I really need to return it to her; Thanks Maya for letting me borrow it I promise I will get it back to you as soon as possible. After Starbucks I went across the street to Macy’s and walked around there for a while looking at everything from makeup to shoe and clothes. found a cute pair of shoes but not in my size which I guess is good as they were a little out of my price range (I am a budget girl) as I have to buy clothes for both my male and female side so I spend double what most of you spend on clothes. It is so fun to just brows and look at things and is a fun way to spend the morning. From here I went over to Ross Dress for less and again just browsed. I walked next door to Famous Foot Ware and tried on some shoes didn’t really see anything that said buy me so I walked on up to Old Navy. In all a fun time.

Just across the street was a Barns and Noble so drove over there and went in. I spent probably an hour in here looking at books and reading a little from a few of them. Really wasn’t looking for anything just wanted to be out for a little while longer and Barns & Noble is a great place to spend a little time. The whole day I had no problems and really no one even paid attention to me.

On my way home I found another Starbuck’s this one on Broadway and about 6 in Portland not too far from Lloyd Center. It is a smaller one but had a parking lot so I stopped for my final bit of time as Susan. It is a little quieter than the other one but the people working here were just as friendly. I have gone to probably a dozen different Starbucks and always been treated great. I would recommend them as a place to go if you want to get out. Well I guess this is all for today as I really do need to get home now.

May 29, 2010 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night at Cassandra’s house

Well Cassandra posted in our group that she was staying home and invited us all over to her house. Nothing special, it was just a get together to hang out. I decided to go so I got all dressed and was on my way by 6 which is hard to do sense I don’t get home till after 4, Susan takes a little longer to get ready. On the way I stopped at Albertson’s in Aloha on 185 to pick up some pop and a vegetable tray. I have stopped here before and never had a problem. In reality it was more about going out in public even if only for a few minutes. I went in and walked around the store getting my stuff and then went to the checkout. The lady that waited on me was really nice and chatted with me. When she gave me her change she gave me way too much which I pointed out to her. I should have gotten $7 and she gave me $10. She thanked me for being so honest as this would have made her till short. I think made points with her.

I got to Cassandra’s house and there were already several t-girls there and they had plenty of food so I put my tray in the fridge for later. We had a fun time talking and bo9th Candy and Cassandra had their computers going so this also kept us entertained for a while. About 10 Cassandra broke out the cards and her poker chips and we all sat down and started to play. We played a game called guts. Everyone gets 2 cards and then you count to three and either drop your hand (fold) or hold it and stay in. highest 2 cards win. From those who stay in the highest hand wins and the rest that held there hand has to match what was in the pot. So even playing for nickels we had a few pots get big, the biggest was $10 which Cristine won. The big pots are where you test your guts. It is easy to stay in when if you lose you have to throw .25 or .50 in the pot but on the big hands if you lose you could have to throw $10 in. it was so much fun and we played for probably 4 hours. We all had as great time and if you are wondering I lost $1.25. But then again I would have spent way more than that at Embers. I think we should do this more often as change is always nice.

We sat for a while and talked about everything from news to politics (not a good subject to talk about in a big group when people have been drinking) but still fun. I ended up staying till 2:45 so I got home later than normal. I got up Early Saturday morning and got Susan all ready for a day out shopping. My first stop is Starbuck’s by Tanasbourne center as I am hungry and wanted to get on my computer and update my blog. I will post later about my shopping today. Well I am done with my drink and ready to go shopping so that is all for now.

May 29, 2010 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night out

Well it is my usual Wednesday night out at Starbucks. When I got here there were only 2 other people here. Katie had my drink waiting for me on the counter when I came in, she had seen me pull in. What great service. Shavonie is off tonight at least I hope. I know she had put in her notice and I really hope she is not all done; I will have to ask Katie later. A few more people have come in sense I got here so now there are about 8 people, still slow. I think the fact it is not raining and sun breaks every now and then that people are outside. There has been a steady stream of those coming in and getting something to go even one guy sitting outside at the tables. Just a thought maybe this summer when it is nice I can sit outside one evening when I am here.

I need to do a little grocery shopping so when I leave here I think I will run over to Wal-Mart and take care of it tonight. There is one just up the street so I can make a quick trip in and still get home early enough to get some sleep before work tomorrow. It should be fun as I like being out.

Friday Night I will also be out as I hope several of the t-girls will be out at Embers. It seems strange, as I have not been to Embers for 3 weeks now. Things just haven’t worked out, as I went to a party three weeks ago and then had to work the next week and last week so many were up at Esprit I don’t think anyone was there so I went over to Peggy’s for dinner and the 3 of us just sat around and talked all evening. It was so nice and relaxing.

I still want to go out some Saturday morning or early afternoon and go shopping or something else new. I really like my time at Starbucks and Embers but it would be so fun to do new things and expand Susan’s outlook some. There was talk in the group about maybe doing a movie night and I think that would be fun. I have gone to a few movies by myself and had fun but in a group would be great. Cassandra was trying to get us tickets again to Harvey’s Comedy club but all they had were for the late show on Sunday night so we passed and she will try again in the future. It was so fun the last time we went down there as a group.

Well I guess that is all I have for now.

May 26, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night for a quiet dinner

Well Friday night I went out for a quiet dinner, as many of the t-girls from our group were out of town at Esprit up in Port Angeles. There had been a post about who was going out and no one seemed to be going out Friday night. Peggy was home as Cassandra had gone up with the group so she invited a couple of us over for dinner. She cooked lasagna for dinner and had a salad and bread. It was very good. After dinner we just sat around and talked it was so nice. We had a great evening, kind of a girl’s night in. Thanks so much Peggy for dinner and for the wonderful girl talk.

Cassandra sent me a couple pictures of them up at Esprit. It looks like they are having a wonderful time up there. I can’t wait to hear all about it.

May 22, 2010 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stormy night at Starbuck’s

Well I made it out again to Starbuck’s; the weather today was really rainy and windy. Starbucks was pretty busy when I first got here. A man even held the door open for me as I came in. I think it is because of the weather but they had a couple open tables so I took the one towards the middle along the wall. I really enjoy my time here as I find it really relaxing and I seem to get more work done. I also get to people watch which is always fun. Both Katie and Shavonie are working tonight which is always fun as they always make me feel welcome.

I am looking forward to Friday night as I did not make it out last Friday because of work. I am not sure how many other t-girls will be out though as several of them are going up to Esprit in Port Angeles. I would have liked to go but just couldn’t get the whole weekend off. I know they will have a great time but with them gone (some of the main people from the group) I figure Friday night to be quiet. This may be good also because if there aren’t many out I can go home early and then maybe get up early Saturday morning and spend some Susan time out shopping and maybe even a movie. I haven’t gone to a movie for a while.

It is staying light way later now as the sun does not set till after 8:30 which also means on the nice day people in my neighborhood will be out later especially the kids which will make it harder to slip out of my house unnoticed. I really like the warm summer weather but this is an issue every year and now that I go out twice a week it will be that much harder. But I will still go out I will just have to find a way to limit my exposer. I know at some point I will be seen and then it will be out and strangely I am not that worried about it although I will try my best to keep this a secret as long as I can. I guess this is something all T-girls & crossdressers go through.

May 19, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out at Starbucks 5-12-2010

Well I made it out again but I think one of my neighbors saw me leave. I always park in the garage and look out before I leave. With the nicer weather and it staying light later it will become more difficult to get out. I looked out and saw no one so I open the garage door and pulled out onto the street and there one house down was one of my neighbors ladies riding her bike with her little girl and coming right towards me. There really was nothing I could do except pull the sun visor down. Now I really don’t know her just seen her a couple times on the street so I am not really sure which house at the end she lives in so I am hopping she also doesn’t know me enough to figure it out. At this point there is really nothing I can do about it; at least it wasn’t one of the neighbors I know well.

I got to Starbucks just a little later than normal and they are actually busy tonight. There were only 2 tables (one in the back close to an electrical outlet) so that is where I am sitting. I feel like I am in the back corner where I am not real visible but it is all good as I am out. Shavonie is working tonight as they have had a couple employee’s quit. Katie is off though and there is another girl Kelly working tonight. Shavonie introduced us and she seems really nice.

I almost didn’t make it out tonight because of work and will not be able to get out this weekend (Friday night) so I am sad about that. I really like going out and meeting all my friends on Friday night. We always have such a great time. That is the one bad thing about summertime as I get busier and it makes it harder for Susan to get out. I hope though this year I will be able to keep to my Friday and Wednesday schedule. I would also like to do more outings like shopping, dinners, movies or anything else that might be a new experience for me. I really want to broaden my time as Susan.

I also want to spend some time trying to improve my makeup techniques. This will be something I do when going out at night to one of the clubs and not for daytime outings, I think I have that look pretty good but I can use a little more dramatic look for night. It would also be fun to be able to really change my look from time to time.

May 12, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cinco De Mayo party

Well Friday Night I went to a Cinco De Mayo party at Mandie & Kathy’s house. They had an awesome party (helped by Danielle) and everything was great. I tried to do my makeup like Chiffon did for the pageant and found it took longer than normal (also not as good but with practice I think I can do it) so I was fashionably late and got there about 7:30. There were already lots of people there; I think they had their best turnout for a party.

They had so much food and it was all so good. They go way overboard on everything when they have a party. I ate way to much especially the chocolate as Candy brought her kisses that she always has and they also had chocolate in the one room (and also chocolate dipped cookies). This girl likes chocolate too much, it is no wonder I can’t seem to lose weight. I really need to start exercising everyday like Cassandra does. She is so dedicated and almost never misses a day, you go girl. I did eat some fruit so I wasn’t totally bad.

They brought out a piñata which was so cool. First up was Cristine and she got a few hits in but couldn’t break it open. Next was Maya’s turn and she got a few good whacks in but her last one she hit down on it which worked well as instead of just swinging away it pulled against the rope holding it and ripped off the head. Great tip for piñatas hit down on them. Anyway Kathy and Mandie had filled it with makeup and other beauty items instead of candy. This was a great idea but way more expensive than candy like I said they go over the top. I got a lip gloss with a little color.

I am not sure how many were there as we were in three different rooms and out in the yard and deck so it was hard to get a count but I would guess 30 to 40. It was a really good turnout even met a couple new t-girls. They also had some really cute clothes they were giving away. Seems Mandie likes to shop. It was fun to watch everyone trying on clothes and going through them all. Kathy and I compared our high heels. She had on these really cute 4″ heels with 4 straps and zipped up the back and I had the ones I wore at the T-girl pageant. Tough call on which was cuter.

Most of the night we had a chance to sit and talk which is always so much fun. I really like a little girl talk (shoes, makeup, and clothes) so much fun. Also being in a house we didn’t have to contend with the loud music at the clubs when we were talking. It was just a really enjoyable evening. I really want to Thank Kathy & Mandie for opening up their house for another party. You two are so awesome to hold these parties (and also Danielle for all her help). It really is nice to have someplace we can all get together.

May 9, 2010 Posted by | Party, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Out at Starbucks 5-5-2010

Well it is Wednesday night and I am at Starbucks again. It is such a nice place to come and catch up on work and e-mails. They are not really busy tonight so there are not many people to watch. I have updated my web page as I put a little something about Diva Las Vegas on it but mostly just put a link back to my blog as that has an account of what we did each day and I didn’t want to rewrite it just for my web page.

I really like the look from the T-girl pageant last Friday with the dark wig. I really need to find one like it and practice more on my makeup. I tried to do my eyes a little more tonight (still not as much as I am at Starbucks not a club) and even tried to plump up my lips a little. It will take practice. Looking back on the pageant I am pretty proud of myself as I really questioned if I would really go through with it. The talent part scared me to death and 6 months ago I would never have dreamed of being on stage let alone performing in front of people. I still have a hard time remembering my performance as I think I was so nervous I just did what I had practiced which is a good thing. I think if I would have had to come up with something on the spur of the moment I would have froze. It is all still a little hazy and I wasn’t even drinking. But I did it and that is all that matters.

People have been coming in Starbuck and getting things to go but no one is really hanging around tonight, still the same 10 people. There is one couple in the corner that has been here every Wednesday night also for the last month or more. I think they also know one of the girls who work here.

There is a young girl who just came up and told me she liked my top (I think she really just wanted to hear my voice). It seems the more I get out the more comfortable I am. The time I spent in Las Vegas really boosted my confidence level. It has been a great few weeks for Susan.

Shavonie may be leaving after all in a week or two which is really sad. I had hoped she would stay and Katie is still leaving this summer (but has been pushed back to the end of August). They make it so much fun to come here I really hope they both stay. They are both so good with all the customers. Well I guess that is all I have for tonight.

May 5, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

T-girl Pageant at Embers

Friday night I had the chance to participate in the first annual Miss Portland T-girl pageant. I was so looking forward to it even though I was really nervous. I got to Embers right at 4 pm and went in and was shown downstairs where they all change and get ready. All the Drag Queens made us feel welcome and even gave us some tips. It was a lot of fun.

I had asked Chiffon Valentine to help me with my makeup and she was there waiting for me when I got there. She made me feel so comfortable as she did my makeup and she even explained what she was doing and gave me some tips. She was so awesome and did a fantastic job. I have never looked so good and I did not look at all like myself. For the first time I felt no one would recognize me if they saw me. Thanks so much Chiffon! I posted a couple pictures in my flickr page check them out.

The first part of the pageant was just being introduced on stage and what I would call modeling for the audience. There were only 5 of us and I drew number 2 so I would be the second one on stage each time. as I stood there watching Dolly (contestant #1) I was not sure what to do. I had on my red dress and a mink coat and Peggy’s wig. It was a really cute look When I was introduced I walked on stage and did my best to look calm and cute. With the spot light in my eyes it was hard to see the crowd. I could see a lot of people but really couldn’t see their faces which made it easier. This part only lasted maybe a minute or so but it seemed like forever. I was glad to get off stage and head back downstairs to change for the next part. I felt I did a good job for being my first time on a stage in front of people.

Peggy came down and helped me change dresses, wigs, and jewelry. For the second part I wore a long black dress and Cassandra’s long blonde wig. With help it went pretty fast and soon I was back up waiting for my turn on stage. In this part (the formal part) we would be on stage and asked a question. We were not told what the questions were beforehand so we had no chance to prepare. When I got o stage the crowd clapped and Cassandra was hosting this part. Cassandra had me pick a number and then one of the judges asked me a question. I gave the best answer I could and hoped for the best. Again it was downstairs to change for the talent part. Chiffon was waiting for me and touched up my makeup for me.

I changed into my floral print dress and high heels again and this time I wore Maya’s dark brown wig. It really looked cute on me and again Peggy was there to help me. I made my way back up to the back stage to wait for my turn. Dolly was almost done with her turn and I had almost no time before it would be my turn (less time to get scared too). I was going to lip sing Mamma Mia by ABBA. I have learned all the words and the last two days I watched so many ABBA video’s and found one I liked so I had practiced the way they did it in the video but now I was not sure I could remember all the moves. As strange as it sounds when I got on stage and the light hit me I seemed calmer. I could see the crowd but not really any faces so it was easier. I the music was already going and I had no time to think just started moving and then the words came. I think I remembered all the moves although I am not as graceful as most women so it probably looked a little stiff but I was having fun. Someone from the crowd came up and gave me a tip and this made me relax more. I tried my best to move from one side of the stage to the other as I wanted to sing to everyone in the audience. Several more people came up and tipped me something I was totally not expecting. I think it went well for my first time performing. With all the lights on me on stage it was so hot and it is a real workout to dance on a stage in heels. I got a really good workout and when I got off the stage I was out of breath and really hot and sweating. I also had got $7 in tips; I guess that makes me a professional now as I made money. It was so much fun and so unexpected. A big thanks to everyone that tipped me. I don’t know how the Drag Queens do it all night. My makeup would have washed off had I done more numbers. I really never knew how hard it was and how much work it is to be on stage. I have a whole new respect for them.

After we were all done all that was left was to wait and see who won. It took about 15 minutes for them. We all gathered in the back of the stage and waited. Crystal came back and thanked us all and told us we all did good and then told us who won and took her out on stage. We all figured she would win as she did such a great job. Her talent part was as good as or better than any of the performers. I have to believe she has performed many times before. She performed at least 7 more time throughout the night and even did two lap dances.

I stayed in my last outfit and the dark wig because I think it looked really cute. As I got my stuff from downstairs I stopped to talk to a couple of the Drag Queens and they all told me I did great. Chiffon even offered to help me with my makeup again, how sweat is that. She was so nice and made the night work. I could have never done my makeup like she did. But know I really want to learn what she did so I may ask her for some pointer again. There were so many pictures taken I am looking forward to seeing them. It was a night I will remember always. I just wish they had told us how the rest of us finished. I know the real contest was between the remaining 4 as we were all new to performing and being on stage.

It was so much fun and I want to thank all those who helped put it on and who came out and cheered for us and supported us and for Peggy and all her help and Chiffon who did a wonderful job on my makeup. Without you last night would not have been possible for me. Thank you so much.

May 1, 2010 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments


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