Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday night BBQ.

Well Saturday Susan was invited to a BBQ, Rachel a GG that comes out with our group sometimes was having a BBQ and I was invited. I met Rachel about 4 years at Embers, she and her friend Penelope were there and they were so awesome. Any way I was really looking forward to this as it was a mix of her friends both transgender and non transgender.

Well I left early and got directions from MapQuest which I have used whenever I needed directions to someplace I have never been before and for the first time they were way off. The roads I needed to turn on did not intersect the street I was on and at one point it told me to head west when I needed to go east. I was able to find it after many turnarounds and I was only a little late as I hoped to be there by 4:45 and it was 5:15 when I did arrive. Turns out most did not show till 6 or so. Rachel has an older house but very cute bad a nice back patio where she had some canopies set up because of rain.

When I got there, there were only about 8 people there including Cassandra and Teresa from my group plus I also new Rachel and her boyfriend Mark. We sat out back on the patio and talked and got to know the others there. Now Rachel really has great friends as they were all fine and treated us great just like anyone else.

Now Rachel provided the hamburgers and drinks but everyone else brought side dishes, snacks and desserts and there was so much food and it was all so delicious. Rachel also had on a cute short blonde wig which looked awesome on her. In all I would guess she had about 40 people there. It was a little cool outside and a couple rain showers but we were all having a good time and did not let the weather spoil it for us.

Penelope was also there and it has been a year or more since I have seen or talked with her so that was really nice. We talked for a good 20 minutes catching up and she promised to come out with the group again soon. She also had on these really cute 4″platform heels and since I wore flats she was almost as tall as I am. It is strange when you think of the people I have met as Susan and even though I may not see them or talk to them that often after a few minutes of chatting it is like we talk every week, they really are Awesome friends.

Later on Rachel set up music downstairs and she actually has a disco ball that reflects the light all over. Now I am not a dancer but I did manage to dance a little. I was dancing with Rachel, it is always easier to dance when you have a partners. Brooke, Jennifer, and Barb were all downstairs dancing. They are our group’s dancers, when we go out they are the ones always on the dance floor.

In all it was an awesome night, I really want to thank Rachel for opening her home and inviting all of us over for the BBQ. It was awesome and you are a magnificent hostess. I look forward to seeing Rachel, Mark and Penelope out more with the group. You are all awesome.

Such a fun weekend Susan made it out 3 nights in a row.

May 29, 2011 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Friday night with friends at P-Club.

Well I have been looking forward to Friday night with my friends all week as I had to miss last week because of work so I was ready and out the door a little early. I got to the P-Club about 7:20 and was the first one there. I was only there about 10 minutes by myself before others started to show up. The first were Sophia and her wife Lorna. Sophia joined the group a couple weeks back and last Friday was her first time out with the group but of course I was not there so didn’t get to meet here. The three of us sat and talked and got to know each other. They are really nice and Lorna is totally excepting of Sophia which is awesome.

I ordered dinner as I was hungry and they really do have good food there. I ordered the chicken strips which I like. Jan was giving me a hard time about the fried food and not being good for you. So I explained to here why I chose that. As a guy my main reason I choose the food I do is because I like something and although Susan does the same but there is one little added decision that really dictates what I order. Can I eat it without messing up my lipstick to bad. So when I order I only look at things I can eat with grace and not mess up my lipstick, the and only then do I look for what I like. Susan has priorities. Everyone thought that was funny. The best part is when Jan’s order came it was a hamburger and fries so she also didn’t pick the most healthy items either.

Siobhan showed up. She is one of my friends but she has not been able to get out for over a year so it was so great to see here again. She will be able to get out a couple more times the she will be out of town do to her work for several months so it was great to see her again and talk with her. She is even more of a photo girl then I am so of course we had to get pictures. She is so photogenic and always dresses and looks perfect. She always wears these cute high heels with the thinnest spiked heel I have ever seen, she loves shoes and I would bet she has more than most GG’s do. The ones she had on were 5″ heels .I have some 4″ heel I love but I don’t think I could do the 5″ but maybe someday I will have to try. I have included a picture of her you can see all her pictures on her Facebook page. Everyone was happy to see her again and she got to meet some of the newer members. I had really hoped she would get to meet Jennifer as she is so much fun but Jennifer was unable to make it.

Some of the girls played pool and shuffle board and even a few danced. I was so busy socializing and chatting with people I didn’t play one game of shuffle board. I can’t remember the last time I was there and didn’t play at least one game of pool or shuffle board. I still had a great time just chatting. Well as I said I got lots of pictures last and went through them and some were really good so I also have to post one of me, my blog so my picture. I got 8 pictures with me in them, 7 just me and one with Rita and me and what I noticed is that although I look good in all of them when it is just myself in the picture I tend to look a little stiff but when there is someone else I tend to look more relaxed and not sure why. Not sure if it is just me thinking this and being too critical or what. So I guess I will put 2 more pictures the one I like the best with Rita and me and then the next best with just me.

Well as it got later a few more girls showed up including another new girl, her name was Danielle . She is up here in Portland for a couple months. She had gone to Esprit and then came to Portland. She looks so natural looking I really don’t think anyone could tell. I got a chance to talk with her for awhile and she is so nice. I hope she comes out again with the group while she is in town. In all it was a great evening with friends.

As it was getting late and close to closing time one of the customers, a GG came over and talked to me, well stared right at me and told me how pretty I was. It really caught me off guard as she was just staring right at me. I felt like I was under a microscope so I felt a little uneasy and don’t know why. After a couple minutes she went back over to the guy she was with and they left. Cassandra and Robin both looked at me and told me she really liked me. Now I know she had been drinking so not sure if it was the alcohol or not but she was gone so there wasn’t anything I could do. Anyway about 10 minutes later she came back by, I didn’t even see her come back in but she stopped again, she took my hand and told me how pretty I was again and then she left but in my hand was a piece of paper with a phone number on it, no name though. How good does that make s girl feel.

Well it was late and we all paid our bill and then we left. I think there were still 8 of us there at that time. What a fun night we all had.

Well Saturday Susan has a BBQ to go to. Still not sure what to wear as it looks like it will be cool and wet. I will post again tomorrow about the BBQ.

Have a great week.

May 28, 2011 Posted by | P-Club, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cold and wet night but Susan made it out.

Well it is still cold and wet and almost the end of May, what is up with this weather. Now I know I really have nothing to complain about considering the weather that the central part of our country is having. So many tornadoes and so many deaths, that my heart goes out to them. We have been having severe weather all over the place from a really cold and snowy winter to flooding and now tornadoes I guess I can put up with the weather we are having here in the Pacific Northwest.

Well it has been a super busy week for me that I haven’t even had time to think about Susan much less get her out. Which I guess is better than thinking about going out and not being able to. I have worked or rather my male side has worked 11 days straight now so I could get this weekend off, well at least Saturday and Sunday. Susan is so looking forward to it as she has plans both Friday and Saturday.

Tonight though I did make it out and as I did not know I could make it tonight till about noon today it was a last minute outing but still better than not being able to go out. Well I of course came to Starbuck’s for a little relaxing and work on my computer. Now I could have just as easy done this at home but I find I have fewer distractions here at Starbucks and so I actually can get more done. Plus just sitting at home is not nearly as much fun as being out.

The Starbuck’s I go to pretty much once a week is really great all the girls that work there know me well Susan and they know what I want so I don’t even really have to order. They were a little busy tonight but I was able to get a table close to the front where I could people watch as I work on my computer. It really is nice and glancing around no one even seems to pay any attention to me. I know I don’t fully pass but I seem to be accepted and that is really a great feeling.

Friday I will be out with my wonderful friends again at the P-Club. After missing last Friday I am so ready for it. Our Friday nights are once again becoming the biggest night out for our group. When you think about it, it is kind of strange. Our group, the Rose_City_T-Girls has 2 big nights out. Friday and Wednesday and then several of the girls get out on Sunday and even a few on Tuesday lately. You would think that Saturday night would be the big night but really nothing goes on that night. Fridays at the P-Club is so awesome as there is so much to do and everyone has a great time plus most of the regulars like us there so it is a really friendly place to go.

Saturday evening I have a BBQ to go to. Now there will be a few T-girls there but most of the guest’s will be non gender gifted (not sure how to word this so this will have to do). Rachel who is holding the BBQ is totally awesome and loves us T-Girls, she comes out a couple times a year and knows a few of us really well so she invited us to her BBQ. I am really looking forward to it as it will be nice to mingle and chat with all her friends. It is cool as she sent the invitation out on Facebook so I can see those who have accepted and several of them are T-Girl friends of mine. I really hope the weather is good or at least not cold and wet as that would mess up my hair and makeup. Strange as a guy I would stand in the rain and be totally fine but Susan worries about how she looks.

Well must get back to work but I will post again more this weekend about the P-0Club and the BBQ and hopefully have some pictures.

May 26, 2011 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Beautiful sunny day out at Starbuck’s

Well this week has been so busy; I had hoped to go to Starbuck’s on Thursday night as I am busy every other night this week through next Tuesday. Well I got home from work and found out the meeting I had scheduled for tonight was changed to tomorrow night killing my chance for going out. As I did not want to miss a chance this week I made a last minute decision to go to Starbuck’s tonight. I really hate being rushed and not planning my time out as Susan but I also knew if I didn’t go tonight I would not get a chance again till the end of next week.

It is a beautiful day here low 70’s and sunny which we have not had for a long time, actually this is the warmest day we have had sense last September so I was happy all day. We have had so much rain any sun is good. Well as I was leaving my house my neighbor got home, she was carrying her groceries in when I pulled out so I really don’t think she saw me as it looked like her back was to me but with it being light later and the nice weather starting I hope I am sure it will be harder to get out without being seen.

I got to Starbucks right at 7 and there was only 1 other person inside so I had my choice of tables. Even now there are only 3 of us inside and a couple out on the patio. I really think everyone is enjoying the nice night outside.

Well I have a new topic for my blog tonight. Moderating blogs and groups. A couple blogs I follow and a group I belong to has been dealing with this issue lately. So as this is my blog to post my views I thought I would step into the debate. Now as I have put in earlier blogs I am pretty open to comments on my blog. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me but I do expect to be treated with respect. I have had a few comments that thought how I chose to live my life is wrong and they don’t like it and that is fine as all did it without being cruel or calling me names so those were approve. I think I have only denied 2 and that was because they verbally attacked me instead of stating their opinion. That I will not allow.

Well back to moderating blogs or group, what we all need to remember is 2 simple things. One the person or persons who own or run the group or blog have the right to do whatever they want, it belongs to them. It is no different then you doing something to your car or home, I have no right to tell you how you should paint your house or car anymore then you should tell me what I have to put on my blog. If you want to have free rein to post whatever you want then you need to start a blog or group of your own. Now for the blogs I follow I do not know what the comments was that were deleted but it was the right of the owner of the blog to do that. From the postings I saw it appears that they were attacks on the person writing the blog.

Groups are a whole other story as it is a community of members and the owner / moderators need to do what is best for the group as a whole. If posts are causing issues in the group, if they are attacking other members, if they are dividing the group then they not only have the right but the duty to moderate for the group. It is just the same as the city or county we live in, there are laws (rules) that are put in place to keep peace and harmony. I feel we can express how we feel and our view without causing problems if we are careful and think before we post. I guess what I am saying is think how it will sound to others before you post. I will give a couple examples of what I mean.

“Wow I really don’t care for that dress you are wearing” fine

“Wow I really don’t care for that dress you are wearing, it makes you look like a slut” not okay as this attacks the person and really has nothing to do with your liking the dress or not. In this last case I would delete the post so what I am saying is I support the right of people ton police their blogs and groups.

Well as I said earlier I will not make it out this Friday with the group which is sad as I so look forward to spending time with my friends. But with missing this week I will have the whole Memorial Day weekend off which will be great. I still hope to get to Starbucks again next week, probably Thursday or Tuesday not sure yet. I will also be out on next Friday with my friends and also on Saturday at a BBQ. That will be fun as it is at a friend’s house who only knows me as Susan but most of the guest are not t-girls. I just hope the weather is good. Wow if I do go to Starbucks Thursday that would be 3 nights in a row, maybe I should try to do Starbucks Tuesday next week. I guess I could also skip Starbucks and go shopping for a new outfit for the BBQ. Well we will see what next week looks like.

Well I guess I will close here, have a great week and please if you post to a group, blog or anyplace else, you can agree or disagree but please be respectful. The world is a whole lot better place when we treat each other with respect.

May 18, 2011 Posted by | Advice and tips, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Friday night B-Day party at the P-Club

Well it was another fun Friday night out with friends at the P-Club. Two of our members have Birthdays this week so we celebrated them Friday with a party, yes on Friday the 13th. Roxy and Cassandra, Cassandra is the one who started our little group which now has 203 members in 3 ½ years. Anyway we had a great turnout Friday night again maybe 25 from our group were there and we all had a great time. Peggy, Cassandra’s wife brought cake for the big event and we all sang Happy Birthday to them and just had a really good time. Cassandra on left and Roxy on right in picture.

The P-Club was really busy Friday night again so we had a good chance to mingle with the rest of the customers which is always fun. I was thinking about it and we have been going to the P-Club about a year now and I can’t remember any negative reactions to us being there, everyone I have talked with seems okay with us being there or even enjoys us there. Now I am sure there have been and they didn’t say anything to us, they either just left or said something to the staff but from how crowded they were last night.

Most of us had dinner and then we cut the cake Peggy brought and I am sure almost everyone had a piece or two, I was good and only had one as I am still trying to watch what I eat. One of the other girls had way more will power than I did and was able to pass up the cake. She is doing so well eating right and exercising, you go girl. It really is hard to do and we are all so proud of her.

After dinner Melissa and I played partners against Maya and Vivien in shuffle board. Melissa and I won but it was a close game, at one point I had all 4 of my pucks counting, one on the 3 point, one on the 2 point and the other 2 were just 1 point each but we were looking at getting 7 point and Maya only had one shot left so I was sure we would get something. Well she knocked off my 2 and 3 point and left hers on the table to get 2 points so we got nothing that round. It really was a good shot that I didn’t think was possible. It was a really good game. Well cameras were out so I got a picture with Melissa.

I got a chance to talk with Yin (cute name and one I should be able to remember), she just joined our group and has only been out a couple time with us now. We actually split dinner as I really am trying to cut down on what I eat plus we knew there was cake to eat also. It was nice to chat with her and get to know her better, she is really nice and I look forward to seeing her out with the group a lot more.

We also had another new girl Stacy there, I think this was her first time out and she was a little nervous but she looked great very nicely dressed and very passable. I talked with her several times over the evening and she is so nice. She is very soft spoken and even talking to her I think you would have a hard time telling. It was great meeting her and I hope to get to talk to her some more next time she is out with the group.

Later on two customers came over to our group, Adam and Jennifer and asked if they could join us. They even brought a picture of beer for the group which was nice but not needed. They spent about 20 minutes talking to us; they had just met that night at the P-club. Adam asked me to take a picture of them with his phone and then asked to have a picture with me and you know I can’t turn down a photo opportunity.

The highlight of the night came close to closing when another guy name Gabe came over and told me the he and his girlfriend thought I looked just lovely and they just wanted to tell me, how nice is that and such a bust for ones ego. As I have said it seems that most of the people at the P-Club like our group and enjoy us being there. It would be so nice if everyone was this open to girls like us. I really think the more we interact with the general public the more they will see us as no different than them.

It was a really good night and we all had so much fun. I cannot think of a better way to spend a Friday night and close out a week than with your best friends. This week will be busy for me but I hope to get to Starbucks maybe Thursday night but not sure about next Friday. I need Saturday the 28 off so may have to work Friday night to make this happen.

Have a great week.

Big Happy Birthday to Cassandra & Roxy.

May 14, 2011 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunny day at Starbucks in a busy week.

Well it has been a busy week and will stay that way for the next 5 to 6 weeks. My schedule will be so messed up that it may be hard to get out. I will be out this Friday which is good as we are having a birthday party for Cassandra. She started the yahoo group (Rose_City_T-Girls) I belong to here in Portland. Our group now has over 200 members and is very active. Cassandra’s wife is throwing her the party and I really hope a lot of the group shows up. Next week I will most likely not make it out on Friday so really need to enjoy this Friday.

Well it was a really nice day today right about 70 and sunny all day. It also stays light out later so leaving my house will get harder. I know as the weather gets nicer the chance of one of my neighbors seeing me leave will increase. Well anyway I am at Starbuck’s again and when I got here they were dead I was the only one inside as I think everyone was out enjoying the sun shine as we have had rain almost every day this year so far. It is now after 8 and there are about 5 others here so still quiet but has let me to get caught up on all my e-mails so now I have time to just surf the internet. I even had time to chat with Tracy a new friend on facebook.

There are a few movies coming out the next few weeks I want to see so now I am thinking of maybe going to the movies as Susan. I did it a couple time last year and it was fun but I think this time I will see if someone from the group wants to go. I think that would be a lot of fun, not a big group maybe 2 to 6 of us. I think that would be a fun outing. There is also talk of maybe going bowling which would also be fun but I would not be able to wear my nails as they would pop off. It has been a long time since Susan was out without nails.

Well that is all I have for tonight, hope you all have a great week. I will post again this weekend.

May 10, 2011 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rose City T-girls GG night at P-Club

Well as usual it was Friday night and Susan was going out with her friends. We go to the P-Club every Friday night and last week Cassandra had the idea to have a GG (genetic girl) night, our group has over 200 members now and probably 20 to 25 are wives, girlfriends or just women we have met who like us and joined the group. The thought was to get as many of them there and also invite others that we may know who don’t belong to the group. I thought this was a great idea and although the only GG’s I know are members of the group as I have kept Susan and my male side separate it was nice to make a special invitation to them and let them know we appreciate their support of us.

Well I got there a little after 7:30 and there were only a couple others there so I wondered if we would have that great of a turnout, well it wasn’t long and I stopped wondering as members started to show up. We had a great turnout. I tried to count a couple times as did Cassandra and Cristine but as we had so many at about 7 different tables, at the bar, playing pool, shuffle board and dancing none of us could get a good count our best guess is between 40 & 45.

Well we started off with dinner which I was ready for as I had not had lunch. And all sat and talked for a bit. After that Maya and I played partners in shuffle board and we did well, we won 3 games before losing and we only lost by 2 so it was a close game.

Now came the hard part as we had so many people there I really wanted to make sure I met everyone and got a chance to talk to everyone there, the problem was with so many it really made for short conversations. There were several new people and maybe 6 to 8 more I have not met before which is always nice. The problem is remembering names, not only who is who but just remembering the name. I really like to think it is my blonde hair and not my age as Susan still feels young. Well I will not even try to use the names as I would get them mixed up or even wrong.

There were lots of pictures but I put my purse with my camera on the floor under one of the middle tables against the wall, which is a really safe place as it is very hard to get to with all the people we had there. The only problem was even I couldn’t get to it that easy so I of course have no pictures and will have to wait for the ones others took to be posted to our group.

Peggy was there which is nice as she is working again which is great but makes it harder for her to get out with the group so we had a chance to talk which I so enjoy. she will be out again next week as we are doing a party for Cassandra who has a birthday on May 16 and she is having a party for her, Peggy is Cassandra’s wife and so supportive of all of us.

Alice came up from Salem which was great as she does not get out that much and it is such a long drive especially going home after a fun night out. It was nice to see her again and talk with her. Alice is the first T-Girl I met that I still have contact with; we were at Embers several years ago when we met Cassandra and joined the Rose_City_T-Girls group. It really is strange to think about it that way. If I had not met Alice on Line and we had not arranged to meet that night at Embers for dinner and to talk we would have never met Cassandra, joined the group or met all these wonderful people.

Mellissa was there and brought her friend Heather who she also brought to Cassandra’s Halloween party. Mellissa is so fun and so supportive of us T-girls. Her and Heather played Maya and me in Shuffle board, one of the games we won but we had a fun time. Mellissa sometimes joins me at Starbucks when my night out coincides with a night she has free. As much as I enjoy going to Starbucks by myself and playing on my computer it is so much nicer to have someone else there to chat with, kind of a girl’s night out.

There was also a couple that showed up and they were so nice. They have only been dating for 4 weeks and he just came out to her last week he liked to crossdress. She was totally cool with it and thought they should go out. Didn’t hear how they found out about our group and where we would be but they made it there. Had a chance to talk with them briefly and we invited them to join the group sand told them we come to the P-Club every Friday night so I hope to see them out again and get to know them a little better.

It is strange as our group has grown so fast I think we have lost a little of the personal touch which is good and bad at the same time. We definitely have a wonderful and active group and I would say we get more T-Girls out on a regular basis than in any other city around. As I said earlier with so many you are spread so thin. I think back a few years when we had maybe 5 to 7 of us out we could all sit at one table and talk between all of us. Maybe we should have a few smaller events with just a handful of girls that way we really have a chance to talk and spend time with each other but then on the other hand that might create smaller groups within the group. It is hard to say which is better. I know that I feel more comfortable with the people I know better and tend to go to that group, human nature but then you really don’t get to know the others in your own group. Something I am very aware of as I am very shy so I tend to stay to myself or those I know so I am making a really effort to try to talk to everyone and overcome this. It is strange though as Susan I really am more outgoing and not as shy as my male self and I think this group has really helped me on this. That old saying “I want to be like Mike” (basketball, Michael Jordan) well I want to be like Cassandra as she can go up and talk with anyone, anytime, anyplace and make you feel totally at ease. I am getting better and do go up to people more and talk to them but still very hard for me.

Well as I said we had a great turnout and most stayed really late, even Chris who was there till almost 1 am which is really late for him. I think when we left at almost 2 am we still had about 10 of us there. Jennifer who had gotten a ride there with someone else needed a ride home so I volunteered. It was nice to have the chance to talk with her a little more; she is one of the girls who is really planning on going to Diva Las Vegas next year. Well with that I got home about 2:45 am so it was another late night but so much fun.

I hope to see all of you out again and have more time to talk with each of you as you are all so special to me. Have a great week.

May 7, 2011 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Busy week but made it to Starbuck’s.

Well it has been a really busy week for me and for a while looked like I would not make my midweek trip to Starbuck’s. Between work, family and other things in my life I have been nonstop all week so I really needed a little relaxing time and what better way than to be Susan for a few hours at Starbucks. It is so amazing how just stepping out of my male life and being Susan totally relaxes me. From the getting ready and doing my makeup, to being out as Susan and even when I get home and have to wash off the makeup it is all fun and enjoyable for me.

Well I got to my Starbuck’s right at 7 tonight and they were a little crowded which I actually prefer as long as I can find a table. To be honest I really thought they would be slow as today is Cinco De Mayo I thought people would be out celebrating. Any way as I said they are pretty busy and I again am at the back table almost in the far back. I still have a good view for people watching so it is okay. Just a couple tables away from me is a big group of woman as a matter of fact most of the people here tonight are woman so I fit right in.

I was talking to a friend the other night about why I come to Starbuck’s as she thought it was strange that I do this almost every week. The best answer I could give is that years ago I would get all dressed up and sit at home watching TV or playing on my computer. Now I just go to Starbuck’s to do this. I guess I just like to get out of the house more as Susan now even if it is only for a couple hours.

Well I have telling myself I need to lose some weight, eat better and exercise more and so far I have not done this or I start and then go back to my bad habits so I thought I would start making a post in my blog about . That way I will be thinking about it more and maybe I can make the change and stick to it. I hope to drop a dress size or two. So here is my start, this week I started walking on my lunch at work. Only made it 2 days this week but I hope to walk everyday at lunch. I have also bought more fruits and vegetables this week in an effort to eat better just need to cut down on the sweets; I have a weakness for chocolate.

Well this Friday our group will once again be at the P-Club, Cassandra came up with the idea to try to get a bunch of GG’s to come out with us. Several of the girls are bringing or have invited friends of theirs to come and some of the wives are going to come so it should be a fun night. I think we will have a really big group there so I am really looking forward to it. I will blog about it this weekend and hopefully have pictures. We really do have a wonderful group here in Portland, and I so look forward to spending time with them.

May 5, 2011 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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