Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday night at the Escape

Well I decided to go out Saturday night the escape Bar and Grill as I really wanted to get out again as Susan. I was really looking forward to being out with friends. I got to the Escape about 6:40 and the parking lot was full but someone left just as I got there so I got a spot right in front. Normally it is not busy this early.

I got inside and Dan and Kellie were there, turns out they had gone golfing today and stopped here for something to eat and to watch the Oregon Ducks football game. Seems that is why they were so busy. It was nice to see the both as they don’t get out as much. We sat and talked as we watched the football game which really wasn’t that good as Oregon got blown out. Actually by half time most of the people who came to watch the game had left. It was fun talking with them and catching up on what is knew in their lives.

Jamie also showed up she is one of our newer members, she moved to Portland with her wife when she transitioned a few months ago. It was nice to talk with her and get to know her better. Cristine also showed up Along with Laura and her girlfriend. Blair also showed up and brought a new girl out for her first time. It is always fun to meet new girls on their first time out, I always think back to my first times out and how scared I was and what a rush of excitement I had. Cassie, Shadow and Victoria also showed up so we had a good turnout tonight.

Karaoke started and of course with the music it was hard to keep talking but we did get a chance between songs. It was fun to watch the Karaoke. It was a fun night and as always sad to see it come to an end.

September 27, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night on my own but not really on my own.

Well it has been a long and busy week and I was ready for some relaxing time as Susan. Now I knew Chris wouldn’t be out tonight so I wasn’t really sure who would be or even if anyone from the group would be out but that didn’t change my mind about going. My plan was to go to Sweethome and have dinner as I haven’t eaten yet and see if anyone shows up. I got all dressed and yes I took my time to enjoy the whole experience of becoming Susan. I got to Sweethome a little before 7 and went in. there were only a few people there and none from our group but as we have been coming here for several years I do know some of the regulars.

Rachel was here playing video poker, I have known her for maybe 5 years as we met when our group started going to the P-club and she is one of the reasons we come to Sweethome now. Any way we got talking about the Oregon Court of Appeals upholding our judgement against the P-Club and Chris Penner. It was a difficult thing our group went through and I have been asked by a few people why it was such a big issue and with all the places that would accept us like Sweethome, Harvey’s Comedy Club, Escape Bar and Grill and so many other why we didn’t just take our money somewhere else? The funny thing is I would have been one of those people saying that 5 years ago if this had happened to someone else. You really need to experience it and live through it. So I thought I would take a moment to explain how I felt and why I decided to get involved and before you ask no it was not about money as we all thought we would be lucky to get 5 or 10 thousand as a whole group and most of that would go to our attorney. Our main reason was to get it out there to people and businesses that there are laws that protect people and you can’t break them.

Now when I first herd we were not to come back to the P-club my first thought was why as we had never caused a problem. We went there spent money and had fun, we supported his business and him financially. Then I started feeling the guilt that I was less than everyone else that I wasn’t as important or good as other people and that is a horrible feeling. That we were maybe second class citizens and no one should feel that way. Everyone matters in life and now with the elections going on I see a lot of people attacking people on the other side and some of it is really nasty and that is wrong. People can disagree with you and your view but they still have the right to their views as long as they respect your views. It is called tolerance. Now I felt bad for a period of time about being told not to came back and eventually I started to get mad about it and don’t get me wrong it has been over 3 years and I still feel hurt and sad about being asked not to come back. What was hard is we had met some really wonderful people here and we looked forward to seeing them and playing pool and shuffle board with them on Friday nights also.

Yes we would go out as a group but there was a big part of being social and interacting with others from outside our group that made the whole thing complete. The support we get from our group and friends is wonderful and I can’t imagine no having it but when you meet people from outside your group that accepts you well that is just an incredible feeling and makes you feel you are indeed an equal part of society. Now as I said I met Rachel and Danielle here at the P-club and am still friends with them as they also go to Sweethome but there are many people I met here that I did consider friends, we would talk on Fridays and play games together but as I was still private about the other side of my life and who he was I didn’t give out a lot of information. Once I could not go back there I had no way to get ahold of these friends and so I lost some friends during this because of Chris Penner’s actions and that was really hurtful.

The main reason for fighting this as I said was to let businesses know they can’t discriminate. People say it was just one business but it really isn’t. There are many people out there that have feelings or beliefs about this and many things and they are entitled to them but they do not have the right to treat me unfairly because of them. If one business can get away with this then others will follow. Yes we will always have places we can go but we should not be limited or have to check and do research to figure out where we can and can’t go. It is not about special right but equal rights under the law and that is why I got involved. Wow a little more wordy than I planned s back to tonight.

Well I got out my computer and went on line while I waited for my dinner to arrive. Caught up on some e-mails and then went into the chat room. Now I figured I would stay till 9 in case any other girls showed up. Heather showed up, she is one of the many wonderful people I have met here at the bar so we talked for a little while, she is really awesome as she hugs everyone so I always get a hug from her which just makes you feel good inside. It is funny as woman are freer to hug people where men are not and that is a shame.

Rachel finished playing the video poker and did well so she cashed in and then came and sat with me so we could talk more. A couple of her friends also joined us, Ashley and her wife Shannon who were just awesome. The 4 of us sat and talked and I got to know Ashley and Shannon and about their lives and their daughters. Another one of Rachel’s friends came over I think his name was Jeff. It was a really fun time. Most of the time I wasn’t even aware of how I was dressed or that I was Susan verses my male self I was just me ad that is an awesome feeling.

I was chatting online with a young crossdresser who has been asking questions which I am always happy to answer but she was concerned with passing and being as realistic as possible and I told her how hard that is even for a Transsexual who has transitioned. For me passing and being realistic is what happened tonight. I was out with friends enjoying a fun night and I kept forgetting I was not out as the gender I was born into. I was me and they accepted me as me. Yes they knew the truth but it didn’t matter to them I was a person and that is what passing is all about. And am lucky to be able to do this and have such awesome friends to spend time with.

Well so much for my leaving at 9 as I was having so much fun before I knew it, it was after 10:30. Well I said my goodbyes to my friends and went to pay my bill and saw Monica and Raven at the bar so I guess some of my group came in and I just didn’t notice so I stopped and talked to them for a while before paying my bill.

While I paid my bill the lady sitting at the bar started talking to me. Her name was Leah. She said she had seen me and my friends in here several times and always wanted to talk to me so I stopped and we chatted for a few minutes. She seemed really nice. It was a good night out. Just as I was leaving Joan also came in s I chatted briefly with her before heading out.

Thanks for reading. And remember we are all different and that is okay as long as we respect each other and treat each other with dignity.

September 26, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Long awaited P-Club update.

Well this is not my normal type of post about me going out as Susan but it is still about me and my life as Susan so I guess it counts. It has been a long wait but the State appellate court ruled this morning on our case against the P-Club for discrimination, You can read about it on Oregon Live. The court ruled in our favor and rejected all of the points Chris Penner used in his appeal.

For those new to my blog our group went to this bar every Friday for a couple years till the owner left 2 voice messages telling us not to come back because his bar was not a tranny bar. You can read about when this happened on my blog from that day here and there is a link on this page to Cassandra’s YouTube page where she actually plays the 2 voice messages he left explaining that his bar was not a tranny bar and that was why he didn’t want us back.

Now from this video we were contacted by an attorney named Beth Allen who wanted to talk to us and and 6 of us went to meet here, Cassandra and her wife Peggy, Cristine, Victoria, Chris and of course me. Beth was awesome and wanted to take our case so the 6 of us signed on with her. Well it was only a week or so later and BOLI (Oregon bureau of labor and industry) who actually deals with civil rights cases also contacted Cassandra and when they herd we had talked to an attorney said they couldn’t talk to us then. well a day later Beth called us and said that BOLI wanted to meet with us so the 6 of us agreed thinking we would be going in and trying to convince them what happened. well when we met with the 3 investigators from BOLI it was clear we didn’t have to convince them. they wanted to pursue this and use us as witnesses which is what happened. We didn’t actually file a law suit or complaint. BOLI investigated and found our rights had been violated and then Brad Avakian who is the commissioner of BOLI filed the complaint in his name on our behalf. Now Beth our attorney who was awesome got appointed to a judge position and had to give up our case so she found us a new attorney named Sue-Del McCulloch and she took over our case for us and she was Awesome.

Now this was a really interesting thing to be involved in and I am glad I stepped forward and got to take part in it. Funny thing is 7 years ago I was working up the courage just to go out and now I have testified in a court hearing and been interviewed on TV as Susan.

Thanks for reading

Sue-Del McCulloch

September 23, 2015 Posted by | P-Club, transgender | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Escape Bar on a Saturday night

Well it has been a good weekend as I was able to get out both Friday and Saturday night which I was so ready for. My time as Susan over the last several months has been limited so I am really cherishing the time I get. I was meeting my friends at the Escape Bar and Grill at 7 I couldn’t wait. I took my time getting ready tonight and I did a purple eyeshadow tonight as I just wanted something brighter for a change.

I got there just before 7 and Cassandra was the only one there so far but it would be long before others showed up. Laura was the first followed by Cristine, Jan, Lynn Teresa, Victoria, Karen and her wife and a couple others so we had a really good turnout.

Now I sat with Karen and her wife and talked with them most of the night. It was so much fun and I got to know them a lot better, they are really a nice couple and Karen is lucky to have such a supportive wife. It is funny as there are women, wives and girlfriends out there that are not only okay with transgender significant others but very supportive of them. I was actually looking online today and found a really good YouTube video of a really supportive wife to a transgender girl, Lacey & Des.

Now it was a fun night as Jan and Lynn were also celebrating their Anniversary. As I said there are really supportive wives out there. Well it started to get busy as Karaoke started which is always fun. Several of our group got up and sang and did great. It is fun to listen to as you really do hear a wide range of songs. It was a great night out. Even Rachel and her wife Heather were here tonight it was great to see them again.

It really is amazing how fast the time goes soon it was almost midnight. It was sad to see the evening come to an end but I can look forward to the next time I get to let Susan out.

Thanks for reading.

September 20, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

fun and relaxing time as Susan

Well another week gone by and life has become so busy for my male self that it is hard to find time for Susan, but it is Friday and I am going to make it out tonight. I am really looking forward to some Susan time and seeing my friends and just being out with people in a social environment. Something we all need.

Now I do have to share funny story from last week. Now you all know how much I love getting manicures and pedicures and I have had my toes painted now for 1 years give or take maybe 20 days in that time. Well this summer I have been going outside my house a lot with just flip flops on in my yard. Well the other evening it was hot so I went out to water my front yard which most of the time I do by hand with a hose. So I am standing out alongside my drive which I have done many times when my neighbor got home. Now this is the neighbor that knows about Susan so I just kept watering besides with the edge around my drive she wouldn’t see my bright red toes unless she walked over. Well she stopped and we talked across my yard for a good 10 minutes. Well while I was talking to her I didn’t notice another neighbor who moved into the neighborhood a few months ago walking up till she was right next to me. She wanted to introduce herself to me as she saw me out and also apologize if her dog had been going in my yard, turns out her son keeps letting the dog out. So here I am standing face to face with a new neighbor talking for maybe 5 minutes with bright red toes. Now I kept good eye contact with her and I didn’t see her look down while we were talking so I know she didn’t notice my toes during our conversation but I have to wonder if while she was walking up to me she saw them. Anyway that is my funny story of the day.

Now I started getting ready early today as it was going to be a little more time consuming. You see I had family that was coming up this past Wednesday night to stay with me so I had to put away all traces of Susan. It is amazing how much stuff Susan has and how spread out it was through my house. I spent all last weekend cleaning my house and finding all the little traces of Susan and boxing them up. Well it turns out something came up and they had to cancel at the last minute so now I am looking for things in boxes and I don’t want to really unpack as they are now coming up this coming week so I will have to hide stuff again.

Well I was ready by a little after 6 and on my way. I got to Sweethome and Chris and Samantha were there. It was good to see them again as said last weekend was cleaning and putting Susan away so I didn’t get out last Friday. It was good to be out again with people. It was nice to talk with them and I had a good conversation with Samantha. We even talked about Diva Las Vegas next year, by the way they have the pictures from last year on the Diva web page. I am hoping she might go. It was a fun and enjoyable evening. Now Chris had to get up early on Saturday morning so he left a little after 9 and Samantha had a long drive home as she lives 2 hours away so she left at 9 so I was soon on my own kind of. I do know some of the other people here as have been coming here for several years plus I did have my computer with me.

I got online and went into the chat room for a while as it was too early to go home and this is a good way to pass some time. I also talked with a few of the girls here which is always fun. Jessica and I talked she is going to get her hair done with Roxy in the morning and she is so excited as she is going to try something fun, I can’t wait to see pictures as I am sure it will look great. That is one experience I have never had as my real hair is really short and all I do is go get it cut, I have to wonder what it would be like to go to a salon with long hair and get the full treatment. I am sure I would be as excited as Jessica is maybe even more.

I also talked with Heather who is just awesome, so sweet. She is one of the first people I met when we came here and we hit it off. It is funny the friendships you can make even on such a limited basis of seeing each other. I follow her on Facebook and we see each other probably every few weeks, neither one of us knows where the other lives or really much about the other one but she is still a good friend and I look forward to see her. Have come to learn over time as Susan that it really isn’t knowing everything about a person or how often you see them that determines friendship, it is the person themselves. I have so many wonderful friends as Susan actually most of them I look at more as family, sisters and although I may not know a lot about them I have such a strong bond with them, it really is a wonderful feeling and I am lucky to have them in my life as they have helped shape the lady I have become.

It was about 10:30 when I called it a night, a little early but such a fun night. I am hopeful I will be able to go out tomorrow night also for a Saturday night out with my sisters.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all know how much you all mean to me.

September 19, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Septembers night out at Harvey’s Comedy Club, awesome

Saturday night is Harvey’s night and I was really looking forward to tonight as I miss last month’s Harvey’s night. Now we have a big group going tonight, 25 signed up but I am sure we will have a no show or two or someone cancel but still will a fun night. We have been coming to Harvey’s for several years and it is always a fun night. I started getting ready at 5 and enjoyed the time becoming Susan.

I got downtown to Fox & Hound right at 7 and Cassandra, Jan, Lynn, Laura and Ginny. It was good to see Ginny again, I haven’t seen her since the Red Dress party. I got to talk with Ginny for a bit, she is so supportive to Transgender people. Now Fox and Hounds was busy tonight and short staffed so we decided instead of staying here till 8:30 we would head over to Harvey’s at 7:30

A couple new girls showed up, Jamie and Debbie, they just joined our group. Both seem really nice and I hope they will come out more with the group. It was time to head for Harvey’s, there were 7 of us walking over as Ginny wasn’t going to Harvey’s. it was a nice walk and still warm enough that I didn’t need my wrap but I did bring it tonight as it will be cool at midnight when we are on the way back.

We got to Harvey’s and Cristine was there. Now being this early we were the only ones in the Lounge. Berry the owner and his wife came over and talked to us for a while, they have been so awesome to our group. Lillian also made it, she had sent me a message on Facebook saying she would be out and I was looking forward to seeing her. Turns out her wife couldn’t make it tonight but helped her pick out her outfit last night, what a wonderful wife.

Lorna, Sophie, Cassie, Diane, Michelle, Mikaela and Kayla also made it. Mikaela was in boy more tonight. It was still great to see her out again. Now we had a great time talking while we waited for the show to start. Now I know I am missing some people as we had 20 for the show, yes we did have some who canceled but still a good turnout. It was finally time to go in and there was a good crowd tonight but we had our table reserved.

Now Kim our favorite waitress was off tonight and of course we all missed her but she was going to a concert this weekend for her birthday so we were all happy for her. Now I did take another selfie with my phone and it turns out my 20150905_215605new phone takes really good selfie’s. We were ordering dinner and Ginny showed up, turns out she was able to make it tonight for the show which was awesome.

The show started and it was really good as always. The MC and the featured comedians were really good but the headliner was awesome. he was one of the best we have seen here over the years. He was so funny but what made it good was he was having as much fun as the crowd, he was really enjoying himself. his name was Kermet Apio, if you ever get a chance to see him you must.

It is amazing how fast the night went by and soon it was over. We said our goodnight to those who parked by Harvey’s and those of us who parked by Fox and Hounds had a nice walk back and it really wasn’t as cold tonight as last night. It was a lovely evening with my t-girl family.

It was after midnight when we got back to our cars and I headed home. Next month we may try to go to Harvey’s twice as our favorite comedian Julie Scoggins will be here so we of course will go that night. Berry the owner was telling us about another comedian Bob Zany and said we should come for that show too.

Thanks for reading

September 7, 2015 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out with friends for the night

Friday is here and I am ready for a fun weekend. I am not sure how many girls will be out tonight but I am still looking forward to a night out. Now I started getting ready a little early so I could take my time and enjoy the transformation which I find really fun and relaxing. It is a great way to start the weekend.

I got to Sweet home and Chris and Laura were already there playing pool. I sat down and got out my computer. I had downloaded a new game, one I use to play years ago called Sim City and I wanted to try it. I played for a bit but I think the old version is better. I went into the Paltalk chat room for a bit and chatted with Cass while I waited for my dinner. Roxy showed up so there were 4 of us here tonight. My dinner came and I put my computer away for the night so I could have a nice dinner and conversation.

A couple of the woman came by and told me how pretty my dress was, one even said she had the same dress and loved it. The dress was really pretty, I have only worn it a few times and love it. I didn’t get any pictures tonight but you can see the dress in my blog from Memorial Day weekend. It is funny as Susan I never get tired of hearing how pretty or cute I look.

Not much going on tonight but good Karaoke and a fun night out. I just enjoy being out with other people and being accepted for who I am. I am not really thinking about being a girl or Susan I am just being myself and that is a wonderful feeling. It was almost midnight when I paid my bill and called it a night.

Now walking to my car it was a little cold, the first time in months it has gotten this cold at night at least on a night Susan was out. I guess I will have to start thinking about brining my wrap again when I go out. It was a good night and a great start to the weekend. Tomorrow night our group is going to Harvey’s Comedy club which is always fun. I think we have 25 signed up to go so it will be a big group which is always more fun.

Have a great weekend and thanks for reading.

September 6, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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