Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Wednesday evening out to meet with our attorney

Well I was really looking forward to tonight, although I actually had a fun day today as my male self as I did something I have always wanted to do tonight I was going to be Susan and we were meeting with our attorney Sue-Del at 7. I really wanted to be there early so I could eat before she got there to talk with us. I got all dressed and ready and was on my way by 5:30 so I got to Fox & Hound right at 6. Cassandra, Victoria, Chris, and Roxy were already there. It wasn’t long and others started showing up and by 7 almost everyone involved in the law suit was there, Jennifer, Jan, Lynn, Kelly, Wilma, Cristine, the only one who couldn’t make it was Amy as she doesn’t live in the area and just couldn’t make it down. We also had a couple more girls from the group Laura m. and Joan so it was a good turnout for a Wednesday night.

Sue-Del showed up at 7 and it was so nice to see here again. this has been a slow process as it was almost 4 years ago when we were excluded from the P-Club and this May will be 3 years since we all testified in the BOLI hearing. The last time I actually saw Sue-Del was in November of 2013 when her and Brad Avakian came out to celebrate with us after the first verdict in our favor, so it has been a long time. Sue-Del greeted each of us with a hug and got every one of our names right how awesome is that.

Well she went over what has happened and where we go from here and of course we all had questions. I won’t boar you with the details but the main part is he has used up all his appeals and lost every one of them so we won and there is nothing more he can do. This is hug as it set a precedent in the state of Oregon that you can not discriminate against anyone based on gender identity. now as for the judgment against him they search his records and he has no assets in his name at this time which really is not a surprise but what we found out is they are garnishing any money he gets and have been able to collect a little bit and will start distributing it as they get it. It will take years probably to collect the money and they may never get all of it. What they have so far doesn’t even cover the interest on half a year, yes we also found out that there is interest being charged to him on what he owes and that will also go to us. now as I have said before it was never about money and I really don’t think I will see all of what I was awarded but I do feel bad for Sue-Del as she did all this work with no guaranty we would win anything only the promise of a % of what we got and now she will get it in small amounts over probably many years if she ever get all of it and she put a lot of time and work into this for us. I can’t thank her enough as she was awesome and really helped me get through it. Testifying was a hard thing to do when you live a secret life.

It was a fun and informative evening, I only got to talk with Wilma briefly but it was good to see her after so long as she doesn’t get out much. wish I could of talked with her more but Laura and I got into a good conversation and soon we were the only 2 still there. we talked till almost midnight. we are actually getting together tomorrow and were going to figure out what we wanted to do but we talked about everything but that. So at almost midnight we decided to meet at Clackamas Town Center at 11 and do a little shopping.

It was a wonderful evening and brings a lot of closer to a really hard thing we all went through. I really want to thanks Sue-Del, Beth Allen who was our first attorney, She had to turn the case over to Sue-Del when she was appointed as a judge. she did a lot of work for us also but because she is judge now she can not receive anything. and of course Brad Avakian the head of BOLI and his wonderful staff. they were all so supportive of us. thank you all.

February 18, 2016 Posted by | Fox & Hound, P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Long awaited P-Club update.

Well this is not my normal type of post about me going out as Susan but it is still about me and my life as Susan so I guess it counts. It has been a long wait but the State appellate court ruled this morning on our case against the P-Club for discrimination, You can read about it on Oregon Live. The court ruled in our favor and rejected all of the points Chris Penner used in his appeal.

For those new to my blog our group went to this bar every Friday for a couple years till the owner left 2 voice messages telling us not to come back because his bar was not a tranny bar. You can read about when this happened on my blog from that day here and there is a link on this page to Cassandra’s YouTube page where she actually plays the 2 voice messages he left explaining that his bar was not a tranny bar and that was why he didn’t want us back.

Now from this video we were contacted by an attorney named Beth Allen who wanted to talk to us and and 6 of us went to meet here, Cassandra and her wife Peggy, Cristine, Victoria, Chris and of course me. Beth was awesome and wanted to take our case so the 6 of us signed on with her. Well it was only a week or so later and BOLI (Oregon bureau of labor and industry) who actually deals with civil rights cases also contacted Cassandra and when they herd we had talked to an attorney said they couldn’t talk to us then. well a day later Beth called us and said that BOLI wanted to meet with us so the 6 of us agreed thinking we would be going in and trying to convince them what happened. well when we met with the 3 investigators from BOLI it was clear we didn’t have to convince them. they wanted to pursue this and use us as witnesses which is what happened. We didn’t actually file a law suit or complaint. BOLI investigated and found our rights had been violated and then Brad Avakian who is the commissioner of BOLI filed the complaint in his name on our behalf. Now Beth our attorney who was awesome got appointed to a judge position and had to give up our case so she found us a new attorney named Sue-Del McCulloch and she took over our case for us and she was Awesome.

Now this was a really interesting thing to be involved in and I am glad I stepped forward and got to take part in it. Funny thing is 7 years ago I was working up the courage just to go out and now I have testified in a court hearing and been interviewed on TV as Susan.

Thanks for reading

Sue-Del McCulloch

September 23, 2015 Posted by | P-Club, transgender | , , , , , | 2 Comments

Update on P-Club

Well it is over!

I wanted to give an update on our P-Club issue. Now Cassandra got a call from our Attorney the other day, now we are still waiting on official word on this but what we have heard is this. After Chris Penner lost he planned on appealing to the Oregon Court of appeals. Now he had not done anything as far as appealing so in May the state seized his bank accounts which caused him to have to close the P-Club. Well it turns out he has asked for 3 extensions on filing his appeal so it has been almost a year now. Now what we are hearing is the other day his Attorney finally filed the paperwork with the appeals court but it was after the his last extension had run out and he had not asked for another extension or contacted the court saying he needed more time so the court ruled that because he had not done anything during all that time nor notified the court or asked for yet another extension that the case is closed. In other words if this holds true the case is all over and we won and there is nothing he can do, he can no longer appeal so the judgment stands. We may never see any money but the ruling is worth way more. We are a little disappointed that it ends without an appellate judge ruling but still a big victory.

Here is a little history of this event.

In June 2012 Chris Penner left two voice mails on Cassandra cell phone informing us he did not want us to come to his bar because people thought it was either a gay or transgender bar and that was not what he wanted.

In July 2012 we met with an Attorney and investigators from BOLI (Bureau of Labor and Industries) thinking we would be filing a suit against Chris Penner. The attorney Beth Allen wanted to take our case on and the People from BOLI informed us that the commissioner Brad Avakian wanted to file the complaint in his name and use us as witnesses so we agreed.

In October 2012 BOLI found that we were discriminated against in violation of law.

In May 2013 we had two days of hearing in front of a judge on this case.

In August 2013 we found out the judge ruled in our favor and we were once again interviewed.

In July 2014 informed Chris Penner failed to file an appeal on time after several extensions. He can no longer appeal and the judgment stands.

July 13, 2014 Posted by | P-Club, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Awesome Wednesday night meeting with our Attorney

Well it has been an awesome afternoon and evening. It started about 4 when Cassandra sent out a text that the Judge had issued his decision in our case against the P-Club and Chris Penner for discriminating against our group by kicking us out of his club. Our Attorney Sue-Del McCulloch wanted to meet with us at Fox & Hound tonight and tell us what she could. Now I had not planned on going out tonight but there was no way I was going to miss this. I actually started getting ready as soon as I got the text.

I got to Fox & Hound by 6:15 and Cassandra, Chris, Kim and Victoria were already there. I guess we were all excited to hear what Sue-Del had to say even though she wouldn’t be here till 7:30 to 8 pm. Well it wasn’t long and Kelly, Christine, Mellissa and Sarah showed up. Actually tonight was Sarah’s first night out with the group as she just joined our group a couple days ago. It was awesome to meet her and such an exciting night to be out. Petra, Jan, Lynn and a few others even showed up, I think we had maybe 15 of us there by 7.

We were all waiting for Sue-Del and we knew it was good news as she had told Cassandra that much. Well Sue-Del showed up about 8 and we all couldn’t wait. Now she couldn’t go into a lot of details as the Judge’s decision won’t be made public till Friday 8-30-2013 when it is released to the media which is also the reason this blog will be posted a little later than normal. It is kind of symbolic that the judge released his decision on our discrimination suit on the 50 year anniversary of the walk on Washington and the day Martin Luther King Jr. gave his speech “I have a dream”. Any way Sue-Del told us that the Judge supported found that Chris Penner had in fact discriminated against us and violated our rights under state law.

We are all thrilled with the verdict and actually very surprised at how fast all this has happened. I can remember when we sat together at the Rainbow room on July 11 2012 (thank god for my blog) and talked about if we should go and meet with Beth Allen our first attorney. She had seen the YouTube video Cassandra had posted of Chris Penner telling us not to come back because we were transgender. Here we are a little over 13 months later with a ruling in our favor. I think most of us thought it would take a year or so just to investigate and then a year or more to work its way through the system. Beth Allen started our case but as she was appointed to be a Judge in February she got us in touch with Sue-Del who agreed to take over our case and we as a group were truly blessed to have had two such incredible, supportive attorneys to help us we can never thank them enough.

Now we all realize that this is not over as Chris Penner will almost for sure appeal the decision and we all expected this and in a way I think in a way we are excited about him appealing it. We look at it this way, several years back I think in 2007 the state of Oregon past a law protecting transgender people from discrimination. Actually the law basically says that transgender people have the rights of the gender they present as. Now we all know that laws can be passed but it can always be challenged in court. Well this law has and it stood up which is great for all transgender people and not just in Oregon as many States and cities have passed similar laws and now there has been a Judge that upheld it. Now this was an administrative hearing and Judge so having it go on to the State appeals court and getting them to support the law and uphold transgender rights would be huge. We really have a long road ahead and I think it will be at least 2 to 5 more years to go through the appeals process. The best thing is that this will send a message to all businesses that if they do discriminate against Transgender people they will be held accountable and will face huge legal action.

I am truly proud to be a part of this and such a wonderful group here in Oregon. There were 13 of us that were able to step up and make a stand and many more in our group that for one reason or another were unable to but were always there supporting us, it truly was a team effort and I hope all of the members are proud of this wonderful group or should I say family of people.

I really want to Thank the following people and let them know how much they have helped us and what an impact they have made on our lives and all transgender people.

Beth Allen our first Attorney

Sue-Del McCulough our current attorney

Brad Avakian the commissioner of BOLI

Chet Nakada the hearing presenter for BOLI

Jen also a hearing presenter from BOLI

You all are awesome people.

Couple more links Here is an video interview and story.

Well Friday night I will once again be out with my friends and we will be celebrating so it will be an awesome night. I am really looking forward to it as I am sure many others in our group will be as it will be our first chance to talk after this is made public and release to the media. None of us know what the future holds for us but I know for me this experience will be one of the highlights of my life.

August 30, 2013 Posted by | Fox & Hound, P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Different kind of post today

Hi All and forgive me for this post but as I said this blog was set up for me and for me I need to do this blog. We all like to think that the transgender community is one big happy family but as in all groups that is not always the case which is very sad as how can we expect others outside of our community to accepts us and treat us with respect if we cannot even do that among ourselves.

We have a former member of our group the Rose City T-Girls that left the group because she had a fight, disagreement with another member. We are not sure of what it was about as the girl who is still a member has not really made it public in the group what happened which shows a lot of class on her part.

The T-Girl who left started off making attacks against this one member and they have been public attacks online on public web pages. From there she started attacking other members of the group who had nothing to do with what happened other than being friends of the one T-Girl and even now is attacking everyone in the group with her posts and I guess in a broader look all transgender people who are larger than the average woman or older and can’t pass which is totally wrong and sad.

with what is going on with some of us filing a complaint against the P-Club for asking us not to come back because we are transgender there are now video interviews of several of the girls online from the different new channels and as always you can make comments which has given her a hug ability to make these attacks and some are pretty sad and petty. One has to think with the amount of time and effort she spends keeping track of a group she didn’t want to be a part of and the time involved in making these posts and attacks that she must be really unhappy with her own life as she can’t move on and forget about us and the only thing she can do is try to make our lives miserable. It really is sad.

Well any way she has been posting about all the problems we caused at the P-club which we did not and that we deserved to be kicked out which we did not, basically making this whole thing are fault which again it is not so I thought what better way to show this then use her own words as she has left many comments on my blog over the years. I guess she didn’t stop to think that things you put online stay for people to see over and over again. I will put all of them below but I wanted to highlight this comment first as back in February of 2011 we had heard a rumor there was an issue with us being at the P-Club which nothing ever happened and when we asked the bar staff they assured us there was no problems.

Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!


These are all of her comments and the post she left them on and all were very supportive of the group accept for one which was after she left the group. And they back up how much fun we and her had at the P-Club and that we never caused a problem there. Thanks for reading and allowing me to get this off my chest.

A new path on Friday nights June 23 2012 (notice on this comment no hugs Jennifer)

Your logic is severely flawed, Susan. How do you deduce from my statement that I’m putting down all transgendered people? Nothing in my comment makes a blanket statement towards all transgendered people. It’s obvious tat I was referring specifically to the obnoxious trannys who show up at the P-Club week after week making a spectacle of themselves. How that can be misconstrued as a statement towards all transgendered individuals is beyond my comprehension. Are you insinuating that anybody who considers themselves transgendered is above reproach, and therefore never at fault for anything? That’s silly. My point is simply that you’re fooling yourselves if you think that you were kicked out of the P-Club for any other reason than you own actions. You brought it on yourselves, and now you’re trying to make the owner the bad guy.

Tuesday night finally out again at Starbucks April 26 2011

Oh Susan, speaking of neighbors I am having some funny “neighbor issues” myself lately. There are multiple stories, and they’re a bit lengthy to post them all here, so I’ll have to tell them to you sometime soon. The one that I have to mention really quickly is that I have a new neighbor, and the first time that he met me was when I was dressed as Jennifer as he was moving his stuff in. He was blatantly ogling over my body, then he looked up at my face and I could tell from the look in his eye that he was instantly disgusted. The expression changed on his face so rapidly that it was hilarious, and I couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. Days later when he formally met me when I was in guy mode, he refused to shake my hand. Anyway, there is much more to this story, plus a couple of other neighbor stories that I have to tell you sometime. They’re all hilarious, though!

Love the blog, as always!


Awesome Friday with friends March 19 2011

Yes Susan, count me as one of the ones who is definitely going to Diva Las Vegas next year! I’ll definitely miss seeing you the next several Fridays. I can’t make it to the P-Club this Friday because I have to get up really early on Saturday morning. This will be the first Friday that I’ve missed going to the P-Club since mid-December! Yikes! Also, like you, I HATE having my photo taken as a guy. But Jennifer can’t get enough of the camera! So I understand what you mean. It’s is so weird!


A cold night out for the girls here in Portland February 26 2011

Great blog as always, Susan! And yes, Misty already has some photos on the group page. I posted them last Saturday. So she has several of them posted on there, as a matter of fact. Good job of “finding” her, Susan! She is so much fun! Also, it’s not surprising that you get so many hits on your webpage(s). Norma and I were talking about your webpage and blog this past Sunday night, and we were discussing how great we think it is and what a good job that you do. We stop by and read it on an almost daily basis to see updates. Keep up the great blogging!


6 Weeks to Diva Las Vegas February 16 2011

“People go camping for a week or two but this does not mean they want to live in a tent for the rest of their lives…” Oh my god, that is such a perfect analogy! I love it!


Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!


Diva Las Vegas here I come February 5 2011

Well crap, there is no way that I can make Diva Las Vegas this year. Not only do I have a roller derby bout the weekend before, and a race the weekend after, but now I find out that I have to go to Hood River, Oregon for work for two and a half days in the middle of that week! I hardly ever have to travel for my job, but wouldn’t you know it that this would be the year and the week that I have to go out of town. I am DEFINITELY in for next year, though! That gives me plenty of time to schedule the time off and to shop, shop, shop for Vegas clothes. I’m bummed that I can’t make it this year, but put me down for next year for sure!


Passing in public February 2 2011

I am really shocked to read that you feel that you don’t pass, Susan! I’ve always thought of you as passing. I have shown your photo to a number of GG friends of mine and they all swear that you are a GG. As a matter of fact, I got into a heated argument with a GG friend of mine over you because she thought that I was lying to her. It wasn’t until I thought to show her your blog and website that she believed me! Then she was just shocked and kept saying how beautiful you are. Your makeup is always absolutely perfect and your eyes are gorgeous feminine eyes. I think that the eyes have a lot to do with passing. They’re not the only factor, of course, but they’re a big part. I think that you focus on what you perceive to be your flaws (we all do that). For example, you mentioned that you feel that your size has a lot to do with why you feel that you don’t pass. Well, that GG friend of mine who got into a heated argument with me over whether or not you’re a GG, is only 5’3 and 118 lbs., and she swore up and down that you were a GG!!! So your size may only be a factor in your own mind. I know plenty of attractive GG’s that are as tall as or taller than you. I know that we all have our own definition of what “passing” is, but if you cause a big argument between two friends over the identity of your gender, then that’s passing in my book!


Shuffleboard, pool and dancing at the p-club January 29 2011

Great blog, Susan! Yes, it was a different DJ that night, and her music selection wasn’t that great. So I played with my new camera to keep myself busy. It was a great time! Enjoyed finally meeting Alice, too!


New Years eve with friends January 1 2011

Thank you so much for the compliment on the dress! As you know, you are my hero, so any compliment from you means a lot to me! I bought that dress for only $15 at an after Christmas sale at Deb at the Lloyd Center Mall. It was 75% off! It’s my new favorite dress, and it’s the least expensive one that I own! Imagine that. It was my first strapless dress, and it has inspired me, because I’ve since purchased another strapless one to wear on Valentine’s Day! I can’t wait!


Friday at the p-club January 8 2011

Yes Susan, it was a great night (from what I can remember of it)! I danced for hours, over the course of which I drank too much and paid dearly for it the next day. Oh well, I had a blast like I always do with you girls! Thank you so much again for the link to the makeup videos. I watched several of them last night. I like her style a lot, and she is very easy to watch/listen to. And you’re right, she DOES make it look easy! Thanks again and I can’t wait to see you again!


Small group at P-Club November 13 2010

Great blog! You captured the evening perfectly, Susan. And you’re correct, I DID have a great time and I could NOT stop smiling the whole time! So much fun! I can’t wait to go out again! You girls are the best!


August 12, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, P-Club, Rose_City_T-Girls, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

We say goodbye to the P-Club

Well it is a sad day for our wonderful group. We have been going to the P-Club for two years now and never had an issue with any of the customers there. Never caused a problem or a scene and now after two years the owner Chris has asked us not to come there anymore. He says it is because we are costing him business although they are just as busy on Friday nights as the first time we went there. Below is the message he left on Cassandra’s phone.

“Hello, My name is Chris…I am the owner of the P Club bar and grill on North Lombard…Ummm…Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control I am going to have to ask for you Cass and your group NOT to come back on Friday nights…ummmmm….I really dont like having to do that but unfortunately its the area we are in and its hurting my business alot. If you have any questions please feel free to give me a call at 503-xxx-xxxx…again I am really sorry about having to do this but give me a call…”

It really is a shame as we have made some good friends there between the staff and a lot of the regular customers. We will have to find another place to go on Friday night. I just wanted to post this in case someone who has read or follows my blog was thinking of meeting our group there we won’t be there.

June 20, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Spending time with friends at the P-Club

Well it was another long week for my male self so I was really looking forward to Friday night out with my friends. I was all ready by 6:45 and on my way to the P-Club. I got there a little after 7 and there was no parking on the street in front or in the parking lot so I had to park around the corner about a half block up, this is only the second time in the two years we have been coming here I have had to park so far away. I got inside and the club was packed.

Cassandra & Chris were already there so I joined them, they told me that there was a retirement party for a local teacher going on and that is why they were so busy, but it was good to see a big crowd there. Nicole brought me a drink and I ordered some food as I was hungry. Now we sat around and talked while we waited for more t-girls to show up. It wasn’t long and more of our group started showing up.

It was now time for shuffle board. Cassandra and Lana played Kelly and me in a game. Kelly and I got off to a fast lead and never looked back. The next game Kelly and Lana played Dalia and me, this game was a lot closer but Dalia and I won. Lana did have one turn where she had a 5 that hung over the end and a 3 that hung over the end giving them a lot of points till Dalia with her last two shots knocked both off and we ended up getting the points. The last game was just Lana and me; she wanted a little more practice. It was fun to play one on one and I gave her some tips. The game was close but I did win.

By now we had about 15 to 20 girls there, Petra showed up with a couple new girls, First was Pepper, she was in town from Chicago and it was only her second time out. She went to Victoria Sinclair to get a makeover. Victoria runs Over the Rainbow Transformations and does makeovers for men who want to look pretty. I had a good time talking to Pepper and getting to know her.

The other girl was Dona; I think she went out maybe on a Wednesday as she knew a few of the girls. We had a chance to talk and Cassandra and I were telling her how we do our nails. If you don’t know already I love long nails and don’t feel complete without them. Anyway Cassandra had a spare full set in her purse so she quickly did Dona’s nails and showed her how easy it is to do them. I have blogged about how I do the nails before so if you are interested just read my blog great idea for fast beautiful nails. Even Lana was interested so you know you are doing something right when a GG likes your tips, yes I forgot to mention Lana is a GG.

It was a really fun night as always and a great way to start a weekend. We stayed till closing so it was after 2 am when we left.

Any way thanks for reading and have a great weekend. Happy Fathers Day to any Fathers out there.

June 16, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Starting the weekend with friends

Well it has been another long and busy week for this girl and she was so looking forward to a fun night out with friends. I started getting ready a little early in hopes of being out the door by 6:30 but it took a little longer with my makeup and was almost 7 when I was ready. It is funny as I am so a wear of why it takes woman longer to get ready. As a man it is really easy, shower shave dress and out the door but not for woman. Doing makeup is really an art form just like painting you just can’t slap it on it takes time.

Any way I was doing my makeup tonight and just had so many issues with it and the funny thing is I doubt if anyone would have noticed but me when I was standing in front of the mirror getting ready. First was the eyeliner I had a hard time getting both eyes the same, left eye always harder as I am right handed. So this took several tries. Next was my lips, I love red lipstick always have but I also know not many women wear it and it really does stand out so the only time I wear it is when I go to a club like Friday nights. The problem with red lipstick is it really shows and any slight mistake is like a neon sign. Well I put lip liner on and on the right side got just a little higher which again looking in the mirror really stood out so more lip liner to even them out. Well needless to say I was finally satisfied and started getting dressed. I had chose to different dresses to wear and was looking at them on my bed and both are really cute on me I decided on a different dress so back to the closet. Well I was finally all ready and took that one last look in the mirror and you know with the eye shadow and wig no one would have noticed the issues I had with the eye liner and probably not the lip stick either. Well I was happy plus I really enjoy doing my makeup so it was all good.

I got to the P-Club about 7:15 and was the first one there; I knew Cassandra would be late so this wasn’t a surprise. I got our usual table and I had no more than sat down when a woman came over to talk to me. She was curious to know how tall I was which I know is my biggest flaw as a girl as I am 6′ which I told her. Any way she introduced herself, her name was Fatima and she told me I looked beautiful which every girl loves to hear. Seems she had been in a few weeks back and saw our group and thought it was great. She even offered to buy me a drink, now I have had a few men in the past offer to buy me drinks which I always politely turn down as I am not interested in men and it is strange for me to have a man pay that kind of attention to me after all I am a man who just likes to dress and act like a woman. Well I accepted her drink offer so she asked what I wanted. Now I am not a drinker, just never cared for the taste so I asked for a sprite which is what I always drink this is cool as the group always knows there is a designated driver available. Actually we have a couple girls who don’t drink. Funny as when I first went out I was more nervous about the fact I was in a club or bar and not drinking then being dressed as Susan. Well she brought me my drink and we talked a little more before she went back to her friends.

By now it was 7:45 and some of the girls started to show up, Victoria, Cassandra and Robin. Robin came with Cassandra and she was so excited. She has just moved here from I think Hawaii and found our group. Being out with a bunch of girls makes it way easier, I think she had a smile on her face the whole night long which got me thinking about when I first started going out and the excitement I felt. It was all so new and exciting and now several years down the line the excitement has been replaced with comfort in who I am. Starting out we all wonder what our dressing means, are we gave, transsexual or just strange and society tries to tell us how we should conform and who we should be, if you crossdress you are not normal. This is not true we are all normal and just doing what we feel is right for us. Meeting all my wonderful friends and seeing I am not alone and hearing al their different stories make all the difference. I am just your typical straight male who likes all the same things other males like, sports, fishing, hiking and woman with one extra thing, I like to look pretty and act like a woman part time and I am totally okay with who I am. Self acceptance which is the key to a long, happy and healthy life.

Well more girls showed up including Jenn, Jan and Lynn and we had a good turnout again, maybe 2o of us. Well it was time for shuffle board so Jenn and I played Cassandra and Jan in a game. Cassandra and Jan got of to an early and big lead but Jenn and I worked hard to make a comeback. We scored 13 points in a row to almost tie it up but Jan scored 6 on her last throw which gave them the win, yes Cassandra has won two games now, one each week.

Now it was time for some conversation which Susan loves, funny as my male self sitting around and talking is not high on my list of things to do but Susan enjoys it, just one of the differences between my two sides. It is funny the things we learn about each other. I know where most of the girls live, what they do for a living and where they work; all about their families and they know the same about me. The one thing most of us don’t know is what our male names are. I guess a couple of the girls know my male name and I do know a couple of theirs but really our feminine sides is really who we are to each other and I am fine with that.

Well it was getting late and girls were starting to leave and Kim showed up. She got here really late but as they say better late than never. She is really nice and totally accepts us which is always great. Kim, Victoria, Robin and I sat at a table and talked and yes Robin still had a great big smile on her face even after being out for 5 hours with us. It was nice to catch up with Kim and find out what was new in her life. It is funny as when we are sitting there just talking and for the most part when we are just out I am not really a wear of the fact I am dressed as a woman. I am just out being myself and really never think about it unless someone brings it up. Susan is just as much a part of me as my male self and I think both make me who I am. Without both sides I would not be the person I am. Even with the differences between the two sides, both parts of me shape who I am be it Susan or ****. I think once I figured that out was when I became a complete person.

Saturday night the group is going to Harvey’s but I am going to a BBQ at Rachel’s. I hope the weather is nice as I have a cute top I want to wear but also have another choice that is almost as cute but a little warmer which I think will be the one I wear. The BBQ is not a t-girl event. Rachel is a friend who accepts me and invited me over as a friend for her BBQ. I think there will be one other t-girl there, actually I should know about 3 people there but it will give me a chance to work on my mingling skills.

Any way thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend.

June 9, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night with my friends

Well it was another long week for Susan and the weekend is not much better but I was going to make sure I went out with my friends on Friday night. Now tonight I had a new obstacle to get by. My neighbors across the street are having a garage sale this weekend so lots of people on my street and their whole family plus other neighbors are sitting out in their front yard. I figured I would worry about this after I was dressed, actually hoping they would all be gone when I was ready to leave. Well I was all dressed and looked out the window and as luck would have it they were putting the last of their stuff back into the garage, how lucky was this. Put my nails on and got my purse and their garage door was shut and no one outside. 6:45 and I was out the door.

I got to the P-Club and Cassandra and Chris were already there. The P-Club has changed their menu again; they have cut their selection including the P-Club salad. Anyway we were all hungry so we all ordered; I got the chicken strip basket which is also really good.

Soon a few more girls showed up, Michelle and Victoria. Well Victoria wanted to play pool and yes I agreed to play her. Now I will admit I am not a very good pool player but I was having a good night. I made some really good shots and wound up winning. Next I played Chris and again I was making some really good shots that is till I got to the 8 ball. I just couldn’t sink it even though Chris still had 4 balls to sink. In the end we were both down to the 8 ball and I missed my shot that really wasn’t that hard. Chris took his shot and can you believe it he sunk the cue ball and I won again. My third game was against Bobby. Again I was making really good shots and once again I was down to the 8 ball and just couldn’t sink it but this game Bobby didn’t scratch and won but I had a really fun time.

More girls showed up but still a smaller turnout than normal, maybe 12 but a lot of fun. Well it was now time for shuffle board, Cassandra and Trish challenged me and Victoria to a game. Shuffle board is such a fun game and 4r people can play. It was a good game but this week Cassandra and Trish won. Now what makes this so funny is Cassandra is so competitive in everything she does and is really good at pool but almost never wins at Shuffle board so she was so excited.

Now it was time for some good conversation and girl talk. I really like chatting with the other girls. Even a few of the regulars came over and talked with us. Funny how I still refer to them as regular as we have been going there for two years now so I guess that makes us regulars also. The truth is the P-Club is a very safe and friendly place to go. I think that is why our group has grown so much. It was a really fun night and I had planned on making it an early night as I had to be to work by 8 am Saturday morning but as always I was having so much fun with my friends that I stayed till close 2 am.

Saturday night was our monthly social that Cassandra and Peggy put on at their home. I was planning on going as I hoped to be home from work by 5 but didn’t get home till almost 6:30 and at that point figured it wasn’t worth going as it would have taken me till almost 8 to get Susan ready and than almost an hour drive to get there so I passed as I also have to be up early Sunday morning so just the one time out this week for Susan.

This coming week I hope to get out to Starbuck’s but will be out Friday night at the P-Club and Saturday at a BBQ. Any way thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

June 2, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Awesome Friday night with Friends.

Well after missing last Friday night out with my friends I was really looking forward to tonight. Friends are so important in one’s life and after a long hard week at work what could be better than spending a fun night out we the people important in your life. Well I started getting ready and it was sunny out but by the time I was finishing it was dark and I could hear thunder and see the lightning which I really do love, just something about a good storm this girl likes. Well I pulled out of my garage and it was raining so hard I knew I didn’t have to worry about any of my neighbors being out and even if they were they would never see me through the rain. Going down the free way cars were only going about 30 and trust me that was plenty fast for the weather. About half way to the P-Club I ran out of the rain, funny as behind me it was dark and in front was sunny but I could still see the flashes of lightning behind me and hear the thunder and it was going the same way I was.

I got to the P-Club and found a parking spot right in front, love my small car. It was not raining yet so I got out and went inside and walked over to where Cassandra, Chris and Robyn were seated. As I said hi to them we saw a big flash of lightning outside and herd the thunder which was so loud it rattled the window so everyone in the club looked outside and that is when the bottom fell out. It started to rain so hard you couldn’t really see across the street and we are literally talking a minute after I got out of my car, this girl got lucky because as hard as it was raining the 15 feet I walked between my car and the door I would have been soaked. It was cool though as we were inside and could watch it all through the windows. The heavy rain lasted maybe 20 minutes before it let up.

Victoria, Diane and Christy showed up after the rain eased. It was great to see Diane, she was in town for work and didn’t let any of us know so she just showed up and surprised us all. She is a lot of fun to hang out with. Well Chris had his tablet and pulled up our group page (Rose_city_t-girls) as Cassandra had made a new folder called memorable moments and went back through all the pictures in our group and picked out some of the more interesting pictures, about 100 of them. We have pictures that go back 5 years in our group, 1,000’s of them. I was fun to look back and see the different looks, wigs and how we have all progressed. It was a nice walk down memory lane for us.

Well by this time we were all getting hungry so we ordered dinner, I got a salad. So we all ate and enjoyed some girl talk while we ate and of course a couple of the girls started playing pool. By this time other girls started showing up and I could already tell we would have a good turnout tonight. At one point I tried to count and got 26 but some may have left or not shown up yet so I am sure there were at least a few more, we pretty much took over the one section.

Olivia showed up I met her through Brooke, her and I are friends on facebook so I knew she would be there. She is a GG and it turns out her boyfriend works just across the street from the P-Club. She had on this really cute retro 70’s look outfit that she made, how cool would that be to be able to make your own outfits. Well it was time for shuffle board so Diane and Olivia played Cassie and me in a game it was a really close game and in the end they won by 1 point

Jan and Lynn also made it and brought a few girls they met at Esprit this year. They stayed in town to go out with our group tonight. So I guess maybe 5 or the girls that were there were not from our group but they still count. At this time we had girls playing shuffleboard and both pool tables.

Jennifer made it also so I had a chance to talk with her. She actually filled in for Diane when we were playing shuffle board when Diane went to get a drink. Jennifer actually scored 8 points on the one turn she did so in reality since they only won by one point it was Jennifer that won the game. She was on the same end as me so it gave us a chance to talk while we played.

Maya and Darla also made it, they are a really cute couple together and of course Darla had to show us her ring. Turns out Maya purposed and they are engaged. The big question is who gets to wear the wedding dress. Cassandra made a toast for the group.

Sophia and Lorna also showed up, seems they make it every few weeks. They are a great couple also and I enjoy talking to them. Problem is with such a big group which was great I didn’t notice them show up so it took me a while to get over and talk to them. We chatted for a few minutes but then I had to get back to my shuffle board game. Next time will have to be sure I can sit with them and talk more.

Well as I said we had such a big group I ended up standing most of the night and as I wore my 4″ heels by about midnight my feet were so soar I did what most woman do, I took them off which really did feel good. I got a chance to sit and really talk with Diane and heard all about her trip to Southern Comfort last year and even saw some great pictures. I may have to go to that one of these years if I can work into my vacations. Any way it was nice to talk to her and I learned a lot more about her. It is funny as we live these duel lives and we really do have wonderful close friends but we still keep things private. Some of these girls I consider my best friends but there are still things they don’t know, some have never seen my male side even in a picture but then I don’t have many pictures of my male self.

Well it was getting late and time to leave. It turns out that Olivia’s boyfriend’s birthday is this weekend and she was going over when he got off to surprise him. She had present for him and a card which she had some of us sign. It is funny signing a Birthday card for someone you have never met. Any way as we left she wanted a couple of us to go across the street to where he works and wish him a happy birthday so Victoria and I went. They were closed by this time but he came out and we all wished him a happy Birthday and Olivia gave him his presents which he opened. They really are a cute couple together. I wondered what he thought about his girlfriend showing up with two T-girls of which he has never met to wish him a happy Birthday. Well we said our goodbyes and it was time to leave. It was now after 2 am but what a fun night.

May 26, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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