Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday Susan time with Patty for lunch and shopping

Well it is Friday and I have the whole day free and that means Susan time, Patty e-mailed me and wants to meet for lunch and a little shopping so we are going to meet at Clackamas Town Center at 11am, Julie couldn’t make it so sad will miss her. Well this means getting up in the morning and starting my day as Susan which is always a treat. Now my goal was to get up at 7:30 and be out of the house by 9 that way I could stop at Starbucks and write my blog from Wednesday nights zoom meeting with friends, yes I am behind again on my blogs. Well it was 9 when I finally rolled out of bed and took my shower and started my transformation. It is such a relaxing way to start your day. I took extra time on my eyes again as when we are out we will have to wear masks so my eyes are what people will see, I used browns and greens which I am really liking the way they look. I fully lined my eyes and did a winged eyeliner and for the first time I got them even, but I think they are to low so still not happy with that. I also tried overlining my lips a little to give them a rounder more pouty lips, will have to get a picture not smiling as that is the only way you can tell and again I was happy with the way they turned out so things were going well just longer then I planned as it was about 9:45 when I was all dressed and ready to go. I grabbed my computer and was on my way.

I got to Clackamas Town Center about 10:20 so I had a little time before I met Patty so I went into the mall by Starbucks, they are open but no tables inside so I got a drink and went and sat on the bench in the mall and started my blog from Wednesday night. Now it was good I got here early as it started to rain really hard. I had been here about 10:45 when Patty texted me, she was running late, and she would text me when she was on her way, so I had a little more time to work on my blog. I got it all done but I couldn’t get a strong enough wi-fi signal from Starbucks to add my pictures or post so that would have to wait. Patty texted me she was on her way and about 10 minutes out so I took my computer back out to my car and went into JC Penney’s to wait for her as that is where we were meeting, yes I am a girl of habits. I always park the same area and go in through the same store at malls, so I never have to remember where I parked. Well I checked out a few dresses while I waited for Patty and they did not have a good selection so I am wondering if this will be one of the Penney’s they close. Now I went casual today, maroon sweater top, jeggings (a cross between jeans and leggings) and my ankle boots although I did switch to my pink and white tennis shoes when I put my computer in my car.

Patty came in and she had on a pretty floral dress and heels and looked lovely plus in her heals I was about 4 inches shorter which helps me blend in more so I was glad I took my ankle boots off. Now we really had no plans for today other then lunch and just being out. Patty did want to get a pair of small gold hoop earring that she could wear in both sides of her life and yes, she wanted nice ones not the costume ones in the mall so we went to the jewelry counter at Penney’s and they had some really nice 14 carat gold earrings along with some nice 10 carat and they were on sale. 30% to 50% off and some had an extra 40% off of that also. Patty got a really cool pair and there was one I liked and thought about, would have been $150 down from over $400 but I just don’t wear them enough for that kind of money. Same way I have thought about getting a nice ring for Susan and have even looked but what I want would be between $600 and $900 and again to wear a couple times a week for a few hours just not worth it at least till I win the lottery. Yes, there are draw backs to being part time as Susan, but it is who I am.

Well Patty bought her earrings and then we were off to the mall but we had to walk through the Sephora area of Penny’s and a sales girl caught us but luckily Patty was the one who spoke up first and soon she was showing us some eyeshadow pallets and they had sone nice ones. A little more than drug store ones but they had one with browns and greens and I am liking the green eye shadow I have used the last 2 times as it blends well with the browns. Well Patty bought some shadow and mascara and then we were out into the mall. We did stop so Patty could put on some low heels, she started off in probably 4″ heels and now had on 1″ better for walking. We walked down the mall talking and stopped to look at the directory to see where we wanted to go for lunch. We picked Claim Jumpers which is outside by Sunnyside Road, so we walked all the way out there talking the whole time.

We went in and got a booth; they were actually pretty busy even though with social distancing there were empty tables between people. We both ordered salads, I had the chicken Caesar salad, and it was really good. We sat and talked as we ate and had a wonderful lunch. Now I have known Patty for a while and talked to her when we had our dinners out in the good old days but being able to talk one on one is awesome as it really gives you a chance to get to know each other better. Patty is out to her kids who support her, actually her daughter was the one who told her she needed better eye shadow then she had and her girlfriend is really supportive of her as they go out together as girlfriends and she has even came with Patty to some of our dinner. It was so wonderful and even after we finished eating, we sat and talked for a while. Bu the way our waitress (Ana) here was awesome. Well after we ate, we walked back over by the mall and Patty asked what I had planned for the rest of the day which other then a stop at Starbucks I had nothing. Well she wanted to go to Nordstrom’s Rack across the street and look at shoes so I said I would meet her over there. Yes, I do like going out by myself but going shopping with someone else is way more fun. It is funny as when you look at people in the malls men are either with a woman or by themselves you rarely see 2 or more men walking around shopping but for women you see more in groups of 2 or more then you see by themselves and I can understand why.

We met at Nordstrom’s Rack and went in and looked at shoes, they had some really cute ones, but most had long pointy toes which look cute, but they make my feet look bigger. I think women like them as it does make their feet look longer but not something I want. One reason I like heels is with the height your feet look shorter. Well neither one of us found any shoes we had to by but we did find clothe face with a woman’s smile on it so we both had to get one we also looked at clothes and they had some casual dresses that appear to be about knee length but have a build in face mask, yes you pull it up and it has loops for year ears and they were on sale for $24.97 although you can’t try them on. Patty found a black one and I found a kind of greyish blue so we both got one of them to try. I have a lot of dresses but not what I would call casual everyday dresses, so I am looking forward to wearing this one tomorrow. Melissa has a bunch of casual dresses for daily wear and it is something I love about her as she always looks so cute and fashionable. Well it was about 3 when we were all done and said our goodbyes, thanks so much Patty for meeting me today.

I was back by home by 3:30 and decided to go to the Starbucks I normally go to and post my blog from Wednesday night and start on this blog. Now I decided to wear on of my new face masks and as I walked in a lady looked at me and wow, I love you mask. Inside a couple of the worker greeted me by name and one of the girls also said she loved my face mask. I ordered a hot chocolate as I had points, I had to redeem before they expired. I sat down and finished my blog from Wednesday night and started on y blog for today. I stayed here till a little after 6 before leaving and decided to make a quick stop at McDonalds for something to eat, yes, my last stop before home. Now I did get a picture in my car without smiling so you could see the shape of my lips. I got to McDonalds and went through the drive through and the young girl at the window where I got my food who had beautiful eye makeup told me how much she loved the color of my lipstick. I thanked her of course I so love getting compliments. Now it was home for the rest of the night. It was an awesome day out and I get to be Susan again tomorrow Halloween. If someone comes to my door trick or treating, I will be handing Candy as Susan.

Stay safe and have a Happy Halloween tomorrow and remember We get an extra hour of sleep Sunday morning. Sorry I went a little long in this blog but had a lot to cover. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 30, 2020 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday Zoom meeting with friends

Well another Wednesday and I get to spend a few hours tonight with my friends in a video zoom meeting. This is how we get together mostly now. We have been doing these sense April pretty much every Wednesday night and we have had between 5 and 15 so it is well attended and I think the girls look forward to it as a way to keep in contact.

I got home a little later than normal, so it was a rush to get ready, but I did take my time on my eyes as I once again wanted to try something different. The look I tried Sunday did not turn out well, so I was going to do better tonight. It was about 6:30 when I was ill dressed and yes, I was happy with the way I looked tonight so I got a few pictures, let me know what you think. Now it was time to call my mom and see how she is doing, where she lives they are on lockdown and have been for 1 ½ weeks and the isolation is hard for her, I think it is worse then the virus. Well we talked right up to 7 when it was time to start my meeting.

I started the meeting and yes there were girls already waiting, I almost couldn’t approve them fast enough and by 7:15 13 windows open with 14 people on the zoom meeting. Another wonderful turnout. we had Julie, Jennifer, Melissa, Jan & Lynn, Patty, Jeanie, Cyndee, Nicole, Tori, Danika, Kitty, Trish and of course me. We chatted for a while and caught up on how everyone is doing which is always nice. Now a few of the girls have only made a few of these meetings but it is wonderful to see them.

Well Trish had the first question and it was about getting her ears pierced which actually I did earlier this year and it turns out Patty got hers done about 6 weeks ago so we had some discussion on this. I have wanted to get my ears pierced for 10 years or more but was always afraid what people might say and really after I got it done I think less then 10 people even said a word and it was pretty much wow you got your ears pierced and that was it. I just told them it was something I wanted to do and that either said okay or a few told me they looked good on me. I think Trish is still having a hard time deciding and I can understand as it took me forever to get mine done but it was the best thing I have done as the options for earrings are incredible if you have pierced ears and really a lot of times you don’t even notice them on. You can also get clear earrings to wear and really you have to look close to see them.

We also had a girl ask about how to create cleavage and that can be hard, depending on what I am wearing I can create some cleavage and I do it with a tight bra, a 2″ elastic band and nylons filled with rice or a pair of socks, and a little makeup, you can read about it in my blog but here is a picture from years ago to show you the end result.

Well we talked some more and then it was Jennifer’s time for her question and that was how we all picked our names. For me it was a girl I had a huge crush on in 9th & 10th grade but couldn’t work up the courage to ask her out, so I took her name. some of the girl’s kind of came close to their male names, some it was just a name they liked and one of the girls got input from her wife, how cool is that. The cool thing is we all got to pick our names something most people don’t get to do. Now a couple of the girls actually picked out middle names, yes they are full time so probably something they need but it has got me thinking should I come up with a middle name for Susan, what’s your thoughts on this?

Well we talked more it was just a fun night, it was about 8:45 when we lost our first girl for the night and then it was a steady stream till a little after 9. I think 2 hours is the max for some girls. Well by 9:15 it was just Julie, Jan & Lynn and me still left on line but we kept talking and time went by fast, we kept saying we had to go but we didn’t and soon it was after 10 so this was probably our latest meeting. Well we finally said good night and signed off; it was a fun night.

Now I am looking forward to this Friday as I actually have Friday off work so it will be a Susan day, both Julie and Patty said they were interested in getting together so I am hopeful of that as it is just more fun to go out with someone. Any way I will get to be Susan both Friday and Saturday, Saturday is Halloween, so I am also thinking about that. Now there are no parties and I am not going to dress up in a costume but I will be Susan and be at home so do I turn on my light for trick or treaters, I don’t normally get many in any given year it is 6 to 30 maybe but I would be opening my door as Susan and it could be my neighbors. I will make this call on Saturday but what I am leaning to is leaving my light off but I do have candy and if someone does come to my door going a head and opening it to give candy. Well either way Saturday will give me 136 times this year I have been Susan which will break my record of 135 form a few years ago and I still have 2 more months to go before the end of the year so Susan is having a good year even though it is mostly at home.

I do enjoy blogging about my time as Susan and it may seem like a lot of it especially this year is pretty boring and the same thing but in the end my blog is really for me to document my life as Susan kind of my personal diary which I just happen to share. I still would encourage everyone to do this even if you keep it private for just you. It is nice to look back and see what you have done, where you went, who you met and what you wore and how your life has progressed. For some of us we keep this such a secret, and this may be the only record after we are gone.

Take care and stay safe and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 30, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sunday and some Susan time late in the day.

Well I got up on Sunday and I had some things I had to do early in the day but I did do a little eye makeup, I put on Mascara a really thin eyeliner right along the lash line just to darken it a little which just gave my lashes a nice look and yes it was noticeable if you looked close but from 5 or 10 feet away you probably wouldn’t notice. Now it was time to go out and do some yard work. I did some trimming, edging and then mowed my yard. After that I di clean out my gutters so it was about 3pm when I was all done and then it was time to clean up and spend the rest of the day as Susan.

Now I took my time today as I wanted to try something new with my eyes, fully outlining them and going heavier on the shadow below my eyes. I have seen some woman do this and it can look really good but I try to keep it minimal under my eyes so it will be interesting. Well as much as I try, I could not get it to look good so I was not happy with the way it turned out but as it is just a day at home I left it. I went downstairs and got a few pictures and the pictures told me what I already knew, this was not a good look for me so yes, no pictures for today. I started watching a Christmas movie, now about 6 I was hungry, so I debated about going for dinner. I really wanted to go but wasn’t happy with the look of my makeup. Well my desire to go out won but I did go to Panda Express as I could go inside and would be wearing a face mask so really only my eyes would be seen although that was the part I was not happy with.

I got to Panda Express and went in, there was one lady in front of me and she was ordering for I guess a party as she got a lot plus they had a big online order so it took me almost 20 minutes to get my food. Now it was back home to watch more movies. Yes, it was more Christmas movies. I also wrote my blog from Saturday during commercials. I stayed up till 11 tonight before washing away Susan and going to bed. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights Zoom meeting with my friends.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 27, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday at home as Susan watching Christmas movies

Well another Saturday is here and yes; it is a week before Halloween although this year I don’t think Halloween will be that big of a deal which is sad. Halloween this year is on Saturday and also clocks fall back an hour, so we get an extra hour that night. With bars and clubs closed and limits on social gatherings I am guessing there really won’t be any parties.

I slept in till a little after 9 as I stayed up late Friday night (well Saturday morning 1 am) watching Christmas movies, yes Hallmark channel are doing Christmas movies on the weekend again. Now I started my day by watching a movie while eating breakfast and writing my blog from Wednesday nights zoom meeting. Now it was about 11:30 and I had to decide if I get ready as Susan now or wait a little while. Well my mom called and needed a few things, so I decided to go get them and drop them off before I transformed to Susan. It was about 1:30 when I started my transformation to Susan for the day enjoying my time as it relaxes me. I spent about 1 ½ hours from start to finish getting ready, now all dressed I got some pictures.

All dressed up I went down and did some work on my computer as I watched another Christmas movie on Hallmark, yes, I love Christmas. K103 on the radio always goes all Christmas music around Thanksgiving, last year the week before and they are already talking about it this year so I am hoping they do it right after Halloween this year and yes once they do I will be listening to it. This has been such a strange and stressful year and a little Christmas cheer will help. Now this was my day, playing on my computer and watching Christmas movies. It was 5:30 when I decided it was time for dinner and again, I decided on fast food mainly because I wanted to go someplace. I actually thought about going to IHOP, but I didn’t want to go by myself an also wanted to get back to my movies, so it was McDonalds again.

I got my purse and was on my way, my new neighbors across the street was out working in their garage as I drove off. Now I haven’t personally met them, but we have waved at each other several times including a couple when I was Susan. I don’t know what they know or think but I am not worried what my neighbors think. I drove to McDonalds and there was a line of cars so it would take a while, but I did get a picture in my car. I got my food and then it was back home to eat.

The rest of the night was just watching movies till midnight, so it was another late-night watching Christmas movies and yes, I am recording sone over night for later in the week. Now it was time to wash away Susan and go to bed and yes, I will get another day as Susan on Sunday. It was a quiet day at home, but Susan made it more fun.

Stay safe and thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read
my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 25, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday night zoom

Well t is another Wednesday and I get to have another Zoom meeting with my friends tonight. Being able to see them on a video chat helps bring back some normalcy to our lives during this virus. Keep hearing this s the new normal and I refuse to accept this, I will accept this is the new temporary normal but ii believe our lives will return to normal again and I hope soon. Now this is not about politics or one side or the other I just choose to look on the positive side and not accept that are lives will not get back to the way they use t be. Now I try to keep politics out of my blog as my blog is about my life as Susan although sometimes, I bring it in but I always highlight it so those who wish can skip over it. Now recently I have posted some politics on my Facebook page so that is not a political free zone. Actually, I have only posted a few things on it for 2 reasons. One I feel this election is one of the most important elections in my lifetime but more important I was getting a lot of political stuff from others on Facebook and some even posted it on my page. Now I have never unfriended someone over politics and I won’t as I support everyone right to their beliefs and views but would never think about posting something on someone else’s wall just assuming they believe the same as I do. The other thing I would caution, and it doesn’t matter if you are Republican or Democrat be careful what you post. Yes, you can express your support but please do not call the other side nasty names or demean them, I have a few friends with 4,000 plus friends and I can guarantee if you have that many friends you have some on both sides of the political spectrum. Remember the country is about 50% divided either side so if you are saying nasty things about them you are saying it about some of your friends. We need to be able to disagree and still be friends.

Well I got home from work about 5 and started getting ready, I really love my time transforming to Susan as it makes life seem better, yes I love being Susan but I still love my male side also. I do love being Susan, living part of my life as Susan but for me there is just something so relaxing and therapeutic about doing my makeup and watching my face transform. I have loved makeup as long as I can remember, and I think I was 5 or 6 the first time I put on lipstick. I don’t think my parents ever knew but one can never be to sure. Kind of like my neighbors 1 knows for sure bit none of the others have ever said a thing but as much as I come and go, I have to believe they know. I was all ready by 6:25 so I got a few pictures and then called and talked to my mom till 7, actually it was 7:01 when I started the meeting tonight and girls were waiting.

Now we had a few of our Wednesday night regulars that couldn’t make it so I figured we would have a smaller group tonight, but we would actually have 8 of us tonight although 1 joined late after 1 had already signed off. Tonight, we had Nicole, Melissa, Patty, Antonia, Tori, Robin, Kitty and me. Now I think Tori has joined us before, but this is Kitty’s first Zoom meeting with us. It has been probably a year since I have seen or talked with Kitty, so it was so was wonderful to talk with her. She lives downtown right by Old Town Pizza, and she was telling us about all the tents popping up along the streets down there, it really is sad. We do need to help the homeless but turning the streets into campgrounds is not the answer especially with winter coming. Well we talked a little more about the downtown area and about the only place still open is Darcelle’s Kitty actually works part time here in the drag shows. Darcelle’s has been in Portland since 1967 and our group has gone here a few times over the years although I have only been there once.

Well we talked some more, and everyone caught up on what was new in our lives. it is just such a nice way to spend an evening talking. Well Robin was the first to sign off about 8 as I said she signed off just before itty joined. We talked till about 8:30 before other girls started to sign off and soon it was down to just Nicole, Malissa and me. We talked till almost 9 before we closed down the meeting. It was a fun night. Now I am looking forward to the weekend when I get to spend both Saturday and Sunday as Susan. I have had a lot of Susan time this year although most at home. I write a blog about each of my times out as Susan as it is my way or documenting it and remembering it but also it shows me how many times I get out as Susan. My best year was 2016 when I had 135 blogs or times as Susan. This is my 131st blog or time as Susan this year and that means with this weekend, next Wednesday Zoom meeting and next Saturday if I get all of those I will hit 135 blogs by the end of October so this will the year I get to be Susan the most times out and I am guessing by the end of the year I will hot 160 blogs and that would be averaging over 3 times each week of the year. And that may be a hard record to beat.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 24, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sunday and a quiet day at home as Susan.

Well it is Sunday and I have the day free to be Susan well after I took care of some yard work this morning. Now I have been spending Sunday’s with my mom, but she is once more on a 2 week lockdown because of the virus which is really hard on her, I really think the isolation is worse for her then the virus. Well I finished my yard work a little after noon and decided it was time to clean up and spend the rest of the day as Susan.

I took a shower and then started my makeup. Now I wanted to try a different look, so I used a darker makeup. Now I have been using Maybelline Super Stay full coverage makeup and find it works really well as it really covers up what I need to but you have to be careful not to use to much as it can look cakey if you do. Now normally I use 2 shades, 130 buff beige for the center part of my face, and 220 natural beige for the outer part of my face and my neck, it is kind of how I contour my face some. Well a while back I bought 334 warm sun to try it and it is really dark probably too dark for me unless I wear mt dark brown hair. Well today I decided to mix it half and half with the 220 and see how it looked. Well compared to my natural skin tone it was still really dark, but I blended it and once my whole face was covered it just gave me a really good tan look. Now I took several pictures today and really in the pictures you can’t tell except maybe the one in my car. The look did turn out well though.

Now I di sit out on my deck for a while as I think today will be the last nice day for a while as we move into fall weather. Now I do like the fall time as it is a beautiful time of year but it also means colder weather and that means winter clothing and coats when outside which is not as much fu when I am out as Susan. I did think about going to Star Bucks today but I got interested in a movie so that was how I spent my afternoon.

It was a little after 5 when I decided it was time for dinner and again I wanted to go get something to eat. Again faced with the same choice, I can get fast food like a burger through a drive through where I don’t have to wear a mask or I can go someplace like Subway or Panda Express and go inside but have to wear a mask. I settled on Panda Express, it was nice to go inside and interact in person although I did have to wear my face mask. I got my food and it was back to my house, my brief time out for the day was over.

I ate dinner and set up a zoom meeting for Wednesday night and then just watched movies till 10 when it was time to wash away Susan and get ready for bed. It was a relaxing day as Susan. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights zoom meeting with my friends.

Stay safe and stay positive and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most reason blog to see what is new in my life

October 20, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night and a chance to get out again.

Well it is Saturday and last night I had a wonderful time going out to Dinner with a few of my friends. Well Julie, Melissa, Cassandra and I talked some about our group and web page well we tried but it was loud so we decided to get together tonight for dinner again and talk a little about our group and web page plus we all had the night free and just wanted to get out again. Now we had talked about Noble Rot, but Julie called them and couldn’t get reservations tonight, so she made reservations at Jakes Grill at 7. Now I got looking at my blog and it was almost 3 years to the day since we went to Noble Rot as it was October 22 2017. Well I texted Julie I would pick her up around 6 so I was really looking forward to it. Now I decided not to dress till later in the day so my makeup would still look fresh at dinner.

It was a little before 3 when I started getting ready for my night out, it is funny as a guy getting ready is easy, shave, brush my teeth and hair and put my clothes on takes about 20 to 30 minutes not the same for Susan as I have 3 dresses picked out for tonight and I will decide after I do my makeup, I never put this much thought into going out as my male self. I finished my makeup about 4:45 and then it was time to pick out my dress. I looked at the 3 I set out and ruled one out because of the way I did my makeup and the hair I chose tonight. I tried the first one on my back and grey dress and then blue and black dress. I liked the look of the first on so I changed back, and I decided to tonight I would wear my gold necklace which I don’t wear much but it looks cute with this dress and I also went with my gold bracelets but this caused and issue as I had put in my silver dangly earrings so I had to go change to my 3″ gold hoop earrings yes I wanted them to match as there is a lot of thought that goes into looking pretty. It was about 5:15 when I was satisfied with everything. I got a few quick pictures and was on my way. I did call and talk to my mom on the drive over to Julie’s as she is locked down again because of the virus.

I got to Julies right at 6 and Julie was already, but we had time, so we sat and talked for about 15 minutes before we left to go to dinner. Now it is way more fun to ride together as we can talk as we go which is awesome. We got downtown and there were a lot more people out walking around then I thought there would be so we had to park about 1 ½ blocks down the street and walk, I really do mis going out like this and just walking down the street. We saw Cassandra at the corner waiting at the light to cross the street, so we caught up with her so the 3 of us went in together after we put our masks on. Now they were busier than they were when we had dinner here 2 weeks ago. The room we were in had 6 tables about 10 feet apart and all had people at them but all couples. A couple minutes later Melissa showed up, so we were all here. Our waiter came and took our drink order as we looked at the menu although I think we all knew what we would have. Well we talked a little abut our group, Melissa keeps our webpage up and does a wonderful job of it. Now we also talked about the lockdowns and how it is affecting people especially those in the transgender community. Well we ordered our dinners and yes, we all got the same thing we did last time, I guess we just know what we like.

We had a wonderful diner and talked about the places we have gone over the years especially the places that have closed, just off hand we could think of 14 places we know have closed and I am sure there are others we don’t know about yet or can’t remember. We also talked about the average age of our group and it seems to be going up. I think that being transgender if becoming more common especially for younger people, so they are coming out earlier and have more support. Now don’t get me wrong there are still challenges to being transgender, but it is way better then 10 or 20 years ago. I really think the more we are out the more people get to see us and a chance to see who we are and maybe learn a little about us and understand us a little more helps a lot. I can just imagine what t will be like in the future.

We finished dinner and had wonderful conversation and Julie asked our waiter to take a couple pictures of us, so glad she remembered. We paid our bills and left; it was a wonderful night out. It was a little after 9 when we said our goodbyes, it is always sad to see the evening come to an end but. Julie and I walked back to my car for the drive back to her house. We talked more on the drive which was nice so much more fun then.

We got back to her house about 9:45 and she said she had some ice cream if I wanted some and I never turn down ice cream, but I really just wanted to talk with her more. We had ice cream and sat and talked and before we knew it, it was 11:30 wow how fast the time went by. It was a wonderful night but time to head home, it will be a late night but so worth it.

Now I am looking forward to Sunday as I will get to spend part of it as Susan plus Wednesday night, we will have another Zoom meeting which I will set up Sunday. It will be a good weekend.

Stay safe and stay positive and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 18, 2020 Posted by | Dinner out, friends | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night dinner with friends

Well it is Friday and the end of the week and I get to see a few of my friends tonight. Julie has wanted to try Kyoto Steakhouse in Vancouver for a while and she stopped in and checked and they can do groups of 6 right now so she made a reservation and invited a few of us to join her so I was really looking forward to it. Now I always want to look my best when I go out with my friends but it is even more important now as we haven’t really gone out or gotten together in months as a matter of fact 2 weeks ago on Friday was our first small get together in 7 months. So yes, I really wanted to look my best.

I got home at 4:40 and started getting ready so I could take my time and enjoy getting ready. I really enjoy this time but getting ready for a dinner out with my friends just seem better, I guess it is kind of like when girls get ready for a special date or a dance. I took my time and yes really did a good job on my eyes including false eye lashes tonight and I was happy with how I looked when I was all done. I chose my red dress and black dress and 3″ ankle boots and yes my hip pads, the final look was awesome. I was all ready about 6:10 so yes 1 ½ hours of enjoyment getting ready. I did get a few pictures before I left. It was about 6:15 when I left home as it would only take me about 25 minutes to get there and I wanted to be a little early. Well it was a good thing I planned it this way as I think I hot every red light and a couple I sat through twice, so it was 6:55 when I pulled into the parking lot. I put my mask in and walked it without hesitation lie it was the most natural thing in the world. As I got to the Door Jeanie was walking up, so we went in together. Julie, Cassandra and Barb were already there waiting as they wouldn’t seat us till our whole group was there and we have 6 tonight so we had to wait a few minutes till Melissa got her.

Now this restaurant has a room with tables, but they also have what I call grill tables. It is a 3-sided table in the shape of a square open on one end where the chef is and has a big grill where they cook your food right in front of you. It is a nice place, mid-priced but they were packed. There were people waiting for tables and they were all full which is both good and bad. It is good to see they are busy and doing well with wat is going on but a little nervous with the virus and social distancing. I am guessing the tables were 6 feet apart but the were all full. At our grill table on one side was Cassandra, me and Julie then around the corner was Melissa, Barb and Jeanie and one the other side was a husband and wife and their little child which surprised me, now across the table was probably 8 feet. The lady came and took our orders, I picked Fillet mignon with shrimp.

Now the bring your drinks and then the chef comes out with a kart with all the food on it and then he starts grilling the food for the table and it is more of a show then just cooking. He uses fire on the grill and flips the food around and he makes it look so easy but if I tried all the food would be on the floor. He cooked up the rice and vegetables, then the meat and shrimp. All in one big batch and the divides it out on who ordered what. He was awesome and treated everyone at the table incredible. We talked to him a little and he has been doing this for 15 years. It really was a fabulous way to have dinner and you should definitely try it. The food was excellent also. Yes, you are looking at $25 to $50 per person but it is well worth it.

We had a wonderful dinner and conversation, and it was just so nice to be out again. Now as I said they were busy but as it was later in the evening the crowd had thinned out if you are worried about social distancing I would make your reservations for 7 or later as they are not as busy. Now we talked a little about our group and the costs and we kind of split them up mainly between Julie, Cassandra, Melissa and me. I am covering the Zoom meetings this year, Melissa the group IO mailing list and Julie and Cassandra our web site, in all its about $600 a year which really isn’t that much, and we want to. We sat and talked till after 9, the night went by so fast.

Now Julie has the weekend free as Trixie is out of town and Cassandra’s wife Peggy is also out of town, so we talked about maybe going out to dinner Saturday night also. Julie is going to see if she can et reservations we talked about Noble Rot as we went there a couple years ago. I really didn’t think it would be hard to get a reservation after we went to Jakes Grill a couple weeks ago but after tonight how busy they were it might be harder for reservations. Well I told Julie I would go and would pick her up and drive if she could work things out. It was almost 9:30 when we left.

We stopped outside to talk briefly again about getting together Saturday night and Melissa and her wife might also join us if we go. Well as we were standing there one of the waters came out with a purse. Seems one of our girls walked out without it and left it hanging on her chair. This has always been a fear of mine especially when I first started going out as carrying a purse was new. Now it is more of a common natural thing, so I don’t think about it that much, but it did get me thinking about it. Now she would have realized it as soon as she went to get in her car but still not a good feeling and there is always the risk someone takes it. As a male I don’t have to worry about I as I keep my wallet in my pants pocket but that doesn’t work when you are in a cute dress or skirt. Well we said our goodbyes and I look forward to Saturday and another day of Susan, the only question will be how early I get ready as if we are going out for dinner I want to wait till later in the day to do my makeup so I look pretty for dinner. Yes, I forgot to get pictures with my friends again. I also get to have some Susan time on Sunday again as yes where my mom is, they are on lock down again do to a positive case.

Stay safe and positive and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.


October 17, 2020 Posted by | Dinner out, T-girl | , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Wednesday night Zoom meeting with friends

Another Wednesday and I get to spend a few hours online with y friends. I got home and started getting ready. I took my time and really worked on my eyes and eyebrows which I went a little darker on them, but I think they turned out well. I wore my black dress tonight and I liked the look. I was all dressed by 6:15 so I took some time and got a few pictures and then called my mom and talked with her till 7.

I started our meeting a couple minutes before 7 and there were already 3 girls waiting and by the time, I admitted them there were 5 more so I guess tonight will be good and it was. By 7:15 we had 13 windows open with 14 girls. It was Julie, Jennifer, Melissa, Patty, Robin, Jan & Lynn, Nicole, Trish, Danika, Antonia, Jeanie, Samantha and me. What a great turnout tonight. Well we all talked for a while and caught up on what is new in our lives and yes we did talk about the places we use to go that have closed down over the years and especially the ones that have closed down in the last few months. It really is nice to catch up and be social.

Well after a while it was time for one of Jennifer’s question and tonight it was do you dream about being female. Now we all took turns and yes, we all have these dreams. Now for me when I wake up I can remember my dreams really well but it doesn’t take long for them to fade but what I can remember is I do dream a lot about being Susan, sometimes being caught and sometimes it is well and I am accepted and others not so good. I think this is my fear coming out. There is also a small amount of times I do dream I am totally female, or I was born female and how my life would be. I really think this is normal and I would not be surprised if a lot of men had dreams like this as it is your subconscious minds way of dealing with things. Now it doesn’t mean you are female or even want to be female as I have had dreams about other things, some of which I would never do or want to do. Actually, even a couple of the girls who have transitioned and are living full time as who they are and always believed they are still dream occasionally about being male. I think I will try to write down some of my dreams in the morning just to see if I can track them for a while. It was also interesting to hear some of the other girls’ thoughts on this.

Jennifer also asked about what we feel helps family, wives or significant others understand this and accept or support this side of us and for me I don’t have a lot of personal experience on this as I have not come out to anyone yet. For me this is part of my life and I don’t feel the need to tell people unless I plan t be Susan around them, that being said I am not going to deny it or try to lie my way out of it if someone finds out. I really do think the more we go out and be seen especially doing everyday things. For most people they may have never met or seen someone who is transgender other than on TV. It is always different when you meet someone in person or know them personally. The other thing I believe is you can’t judge someone based on who they are, just like w don’t want to be judges. I have heard from girls who were going to come out to family, and they had lists of who would accept them and who wouldn’t and sometimes they find out it was the opposite. I had one friend who had a very conservative family member who was very religious, and it turns out he was one of her biggest supporters. I think the key is to be honest and genuine about who you are and how you feel. Now I am not saying it is going to be easy and always end up well. I say it all the time as our actions does impact others also and I know some don’t like to hear that. I look at it this way, if I go out as Susan and run into someone I know, I am hoping it will take them time to figure it out, I am hoping the first thing they realize is I am not female, and then there is something familiar about me but they still have to place me. Now if I went out with my brother or my best friend on my male side, they may not recognize me, but they will recognize them being with a trans person. On my own side I have only gone out once as my male self with the group and I only stayed a short time, not because I am ashamed of them but if I ran into someone I know it would out me for sure. It is about me and not them as I said right now, I am not hiding this, but I am also not just telling everyone. We may be totally comfortable with who we are and how we live our lives, but others may have concerns about how it impacts their lives. I am rambling here and not sure if it is coming across the way I wanted. The main thing I want t get across is our actions can impact others also and we have to at least recognize that.

Well we talked till about 9pm before girls started to log off and yes once we lost the first it went fast and soon it was just Julie, Jan & Lynn and me. We talked a little longer and then we called it a night. It was a good night though. Now I am looing forward to the weekend and yes a few of us are gong to try to get together for dinner Friday night and I will get to spend Saturday as Susan also so it should be a fun weekend.

Stay safe and thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 16, 2020 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday at home as Susan

Well it is another Saturday and yes, a Saturday of a Holiday weekend although I must work on Monday which is Columbus Day, so I hope everyone has a happy and safe Holiday weekend. Now I had some things to in the morning, so it wasn’t till about 12:30 that I started getting ready for my day. Now as normal I have no plans for today other than around the house as Susan and yes part of it will be cleaning as I will have my mom over tomorrow for the day. Again, I spent extra time on my eyes and tried a little different shape on my lips and didn’t overline them. I was happy with the look.

I was ready by 2 and spent a little time cleaning my house and doing some dishes. Now I remember when I first really started dressing it was just at home and all I really did was watch TV or clean my house it really was just about being Susan. When I started dressing and going out that all stopped as I really do want to go out when I am Susan but with all that is going on right now the options of going out are limited so I have kind of been enjoying my time at home. There is something relaxing and calming just being Susan for a few hours.

I watched a movie yes Hallmark Channel again, it was about 5 and I decided I needed something to eat. Now once again I decided to go to McDonalds as I can go through the drive through without a mask, so my face is visible. Yes, it is funny how things come back around. The dressing at home and back then I would take late night drives and go through a Burger King drive through just to be seen. It is not the same as really going out, but it is something. I got to McDonalds and there were a few cars in line, so I had a little wait and yes, I did get a couple pictures in my car. For some reason my car pictures seem to turn out as some of my better ones. Soon it was my turn to order. Now as I was ordering I got a text from Cassandra so as soon as I finished my order, I checked her text. She wanted to know what I was doing and if I was dressed, I texted back I was dressed and spending my day at home. Well she called me and wanted to know if I wanted to get together tonight, maybe have dinner, what bad timing. I told her I had just got McDonalds, but I would be up for meeting her if there was a place. Things are really limited as far as where you can go. She said she would call me I a little while and let me know.

I got home and started eating and Cassandra called yes, it is really limited, she called the Escape and they are only open outside and you have to book online and a couple other places were closed. I really think for right now our only option will be going out to dinner in small groups. Well Cassandra and I talked as she drove through downtown Portland. She was telling me about all the tents on the sidewalks, the boarded-up buildings, vacant buildings and graffiti on buildings. It is sad as Portland use to be a beautiful and safe city and so much fun to go out in. now I now the homeless need help and we should do something but turning the city into one big campground on the city streets is not the answer. Well she was down by CC Slaughters and said they had a big line out the door tonight which surprised her, I told her I had herd they were closing, and Sunday night would be there last night.

Well Cassandra pulled over and talked to the manager briefly and yes, it is true, Sunday October 11th will be their last night open and then they are closing permanently. It is sad, we don’t go there anymore but it does hold a lot of great memories as it was the second place I ever went as Susan. It seems we are losing so many places from our past. It got me thinking about some of the places we have gone done here. So here are the places we went over 3 blocks down here that have closed, First to close was Alexis Greek restaurant, followed by House of Louie, then the Boiler Room, then Fox & Hounds and now in the last few months Od Town Pizza, Hobo’s and now CC Slaughters, wow that is 7 places, I guess this really was the center of our groups world for a while and I have lots of fond memories from here. I have actually looked back in my blog over the last few days one of the benefits of having my blog. So many wonderful memories and thing I never imagined I would be able to do.

Well Cassandra and I talked for almost an hour it was so nice, we may try to get together next weekend. The rest of the night I just sat and watched TV till bedtime. Stay safe and stay happy and Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 12, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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