Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Family update on my Dad

On Thursday evening our Lord called me Dad home to heaven. He passed peacefully in his sleep and is now at eternal peace in heaven. He was 91 ½ .

As far as I know he never knew about Susan (his daughter). The next few weeks will be really busy and Susan will be put in the closet as my brother and other family will be around a lot and right now the focus hast to be on taking care of what needs to be done and on my Mom.

September 22, 2018 Posted by | family, T-girl | , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

Little Susan time Sunday afternoon

It is Sunday and I am going to try and sneak a couple hours of Susan. My Dad is not doing well at all the last few days, Friday being the worst. Today he is a little better and they have some friends over so I am going to take advantage and sneak out. The plan was a quick trip to Starbucks for a couple hours. Now I have been going to the one just a little further away, about a ½ mile as it is bigger with more seats. I got all dressed up and was on my way by 3. I got to Starbucks and took a quick selfie before going in. there were no cars parked in front so I figured I would have the place to myself, but I was wrong. Probably the busiest I have seen this Starbucks, only the long bench table with high chairs and one table right in the middle open, there were probably 20 people here, I guess they all walked here. I took the open table and put my computer on it and went and ordered my drink.

Now I have been coming to this one for two reasons, one it is bigger and also, I have been coming here as my male self also. As a matter of fact, I stopped here last night for a couple hours to do some work. I got up to the counter to order and it is the same young girl who took my order last night as my male self. I ordered my drink and kind of watched to see if there was any sign she recognized me but as far as I could tell she didn’t. with my drink in hand I went back to my table and sat down to do some work on my computer. Now my plan for the night was to stay here till 6 or 6:30 then go home clean up and then go check on my parents. I got my work I had to get done, done and then started checking e-mails and Facebook. I got a text from Julie who wanted to know if I went out last night and I texted back no and that with my Dad I didn’t know when I would be out but I was out for a little bit now. She asked how long I would be out and if I wanted to meet and talk and of course I did as I really miss her. We agreed to meet at the Starbucks on Mill plain off I-205 which I have been to before, of course she would be in boy mode.

I got there a little after 5 and Julie was already there, she was shorter though as I had my ankle boots on with heels and she was in sandals. We both got a hot chocolate and sat down and started talking. We talked a little about my parents and where my Dad is which is not good and then we talked about other things more pleasant such as our group and the cruise coming up. I won’t be going but I am looking forward to all the pictures and stories from Julie and Cassandra about the trip. It really did help me take my mind off things going on in my life. Julie is so awesome and I am so lucky to have her as a friend. Last week I got to spend a few hours with Cassandra and Peggy who are also wonderful and take my mind off things. Even yesterday one of my longest friends who I have known for 35 plus years came over and we talked although he doesn’t know about Susan or this side of my life it was still nice to have friends you can count on. It was such an enjoyable evening and I didn’t want it to come to an end but I knew it had to.

It was about 6:45 when I told Julie I needed to go and she understood. She gave me a big hug which really did make things better. I got in my car and headed for home to change. I was almost home when I got a call from my mom and of course the worst popped into my head. Everything was okay and she was just calling to tell me they were going to bed early; my dad had calmed down some and she was really tired as she didn’t sleep well last night worrying about my dad so I didn’t need to stop by. I stopped and got gas and then stopped at Subway to get a sandwich before going home. Now I have family coming into town again this week so I am guessing Susan will be hid away now for a while and I am not sure when she will be back out but she is always with me inside and that will have to be enough for the short term.

September 16, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday and a little more Susan time

It is Sunday afternoon and my dad is having another good day so I got home a little before 4 and decided a little Susan time was in order. I actually need to go to the store and pick some stuff up for my parents and still need dinner and I figured why not as Susan. I quickly got ready as Susan and was on my way by 4:30. I went to target and went in and got the things my parents needed and then went to the checkout and paid for them. N ow my parents do not know about Susan or at least as far as I know they don’t so I have to wonder what they would think about Susan, their daughter they don’t know about shopping for them. After this I went to Jimmy John’s and got a sub sandwich. Now there was no one inside and no cars out front so I had the place to myself. I got my food and sat down at a table and people just started coming in. soon there were people at 6 other tables. I guess I hit it right before the dinner rush. I was only here about 20 minutes while I ate and then I was off again and on my way to Starbuck’s. I didn’t go to the one closest to my house instead I went to the other one just a little away as I will need to get gas tonight and it is right next to where I get gas but also this one is open an hour later so it gives me a little more Susan time.

I got to the Starbuck’s a little before 6 and went in. They were not real busy as this one has a drive through but still about 8 to 10 people inside and out at the tables. I got my drink and sat down and worked on my blog from Saturday night, yes I got to go to Dinner with Peggy and Cassandra at Mother’s Bistro and had a wonderful time. It was nice to be out as Susan again and this does make 2 nights in a row so this has been a good weekend not only for Susan by also for my Dad as my Susan time now depends on that. It really was relaxing to be out at Starbucks and being close to home if something comes up I know I can get home in a few minutes and make a quick change. By the way here is a cute picture from Last night at Mother’s Bistro we took with a bridal party at the next table. They were awesome, it really was a wonderful night out with two awesome friends. I think back to when I was first going out and I would never have thought I could form such close friendships as I have as Susan. There are a lot of my friends who have really impacted my life and they all mean so much to me and I don’t want to have some feel left out but a few really stick out as they are more like family. Alice, she was really my first friend I made as Susan as we exchanged e-mails addresses and she would e-mail me when she came to town and we would have a girl’s night out. She seemed so at easy as Alice and she really helped me get a little more confidence as she would occasionally have other people come over and talk to me, I was so shy as Susan at that time. Cassandra as when I met her she also seemed so comfortable as who she was and she was forming the group that has turned into the Rose City T-girls. She talked me into joining the group and her and the group was the best thing that has happened to Susan as I found a family that helped shape the young (maybe not young) lady I am today. Julie who has been such a wonderful friend and is truly like my big sister and so many others like Jan & Lynn, Melissa, Kate, Veronica and the list goes on. I seem to have way more friends and closer friends as Susan then as my male self. And even though some of them don’t really know a lot about who I am other than as Susan. Susan truly is blessed in so many ways and I love you all.

I stayed at Starbucks till a little after 8 e-mailing some of the friends I have made over the years but maybe lost touch with as I am not the greatest at staying in touch. It is so easy to just lose touch especially with people you don’t see that often. On the way home I stopped and got gas for my car. It will be a long week but maybe if my Dad is doing okay on Wednesday I am thinking about going to dinner with my friends as the following week I will once again have family in town and Susan stuff will have to be hid away.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what is new on my most recent blog.

September 10, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday evening dinner at Mother’s Bistro

It is Saturday and as I have said my time out as Susan is limited and short notice. My Dads health is not good and so I am limiting my time and also how far I go from home. Well while I was getting my pedicure and manicure this morning I got a text from Cassandra, seems here and Peggy were going out for dinner tonight at Mother’s Bistro and they wanted to know if I would be out and if I wanted to join them. Now I really had n o plans on going out tonight as the last few days my dad was not doing well, some bad days so I texted her back I would let her know after I checked on my parents. I was really excited about going out though and also seeing Peggy and Cassandra as it has been a month and the last time I saw them I was in male mode so I really wanted to go. It was about 2:30 when I got to my parents and today was a good day for my dad so that was good and also gave me the feeling I could go out tonight so I texted Cass I would meet them for dinner at 6:30.

It was about 4:30 when I got home and started getting ready. Now the only bad part is Mother’s Bistro is about 30 minutes from home and that is always in my mind. I was ready and on my way by 5:45 and got downtown Portland at 6:15 and found a parking spot a block away and walked over to Mother’s Bistro. Peggy had texted me they were looking for a parking spot so I was there first. As I waited for then to get there I got a call on my phone from where my parents are and of course I thought the worst but it turned out not to be anything about them so that was good. But this is what I am most worried about when I am out as Susan.

Peggy and Cassandra arrived and it was so awesome to see them again. I really do have some wonderful friends who are more like family and I really do miss seeing them. Now they were a little busy but Peggy had made reservations so we were shown to our table. Now this is a wonderful place, so cute inside and wonderful food the only bad part is their floors are wood and highly polished so a little slick in high heels but they always warn people of this so if you do go there be mindful of the floors if you have heels on. We talked for a while before we ordered and it was wonderful to catch up with them. We even talked about the upcoming cruise which I had to cancel. I am so sad I won’t be going with them this time but I am hopeful we will do it again in a year or two. I made them promise to send me pictures especially of Julie and Cassandra on the plane.

Our food came and it was wonderful as always, tonight I had their chicken parmesan. Now our group has come here many times over the last few years and always been treated wonderful but this was Peggy’s first time here and she loved it. We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation but the best part was being out with Cassandra and Peggy, thanks so much for inviting me. Well as we were finishing up and big group of young ladies sat down at the next table, I am guessing it was a bridal party as one lady was in a white dress and the other were in black dresses. Now as I have said before Cassandra can talk with anyone and as they sat right next to us she looked at them and said now these are some girls I need to get a picture with and then asked who the bride was. I kind of laughed at that and said it was obvious the bride was in white and her friends were all dressed in black morning her upcoming wedding. They all laughed at that. We chatted with them briefly and then went back to our conversation.

We talked a little more and then one of the girls next to Cassandra got up and as she did the bride to be was sliding over and she looked at us and asked if we wanted to get a picture with them and of course the answer was yes so Cassandra slid over next to the bride to be and I moved my chair over to there table. Now the funny thing is they also had their phones out and I think they wanted pictures with us maybe more than we did. Peggy took several pictures with or different phones including mine. These are the pictures I really love to get, out with other people who have never met us before and this may have been their first time ever meeting someone who is transgender. Now I know it is hard to tell but Cassandra and I are the 2 at the far end of the table. They were really a fun group and we talked with them a little longer.

It was a little after 8:30 when we called it a night, it was so much fun to be out again with friends I really do miss all of them. I think I am going to try really hard to make it out next Saturday if my Dad is doing okay. Now it turns out we both parked almost the same place as I was a block away almost to the corner and Peggy and Cassandra were the first car around the corner so we got to walk together and talk more. It really was sad to call the evening to an end and say our goodbyes. I hope I will get to see them again before the cruise in October but if not, I made them promise to send me pictures.

It was a little after 9 when I got home and I was ready for bed as it has been a long week but I did have to get one selfie first as I thought my makeup turned out well tonight. It really was a wonderful night and just what I needed.

Thanks for reading and be sure and see what is new on my most recent blog.

September 9, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Quick update on Saturday,

Okay just a quick update today, I am still having issues planning Susan time as it all depends on how my Dad is doing on any given day so it is always a last-minute decision. So still not sure when I will get out again. Now on a side note my car has a recall for so something for the transmission and they said it would take about 4 hours so had to be on a Saturday, I had an appointment at Toyota at 9 am. Now there is a Starbucks about a half mile away I have gone to several times as Susan so I decided to take my computer and walk down there till my car was ready. I dropped my car off and off I went. Now as I walked I noticed a nail salon called AB nail spa about a block from Toyota and I got thinking about my nails and how I miss going and getting g them done. It has been 3 weeks since I went and got a manicure at Creative nails and it has been 2 months since my last pedicure and although the polish has held up well they have grown out and look bad. I really need to figure something out.

I got to Starbucks and played on my computer and kept thinking about the last times I was here I was Susan. I really do miss my Susan time and think about it a lot. It is just way more fun to be at Starbucks as Susan. I stayed here till 11 and then decided to walk back to Toyota and hang out there as they also have WI-FI and maybe they will get done with my car early. I was almost back and saw the nails salon and it was open and no cars in front so I decided to walk in and get a manicure. Now I have gone a couple times as my male self to get manicures before a couple times but still way easier as Susan. I went in and a lady came up and asked if she could help me and without thinking I just said I would like a manicure and pedicure. She said yes and led me over to a pedicure seat and started the water. Now I pulled up my pantlegs as far as I could and took off my shoes and socks. She looked at my feet and saw the red polish and I think I saw a smile and she immediately asked me what color I wanted and as I had already sat down I just said a red. She came back with several different reds and I picked out a nice bright red and we were ready to go. She introduced herself, her name is Kim and she asked me my name and we talked off and on while she did my feet. Now I did the deluxe pedicure with Lavender and paraffin wax. It really is nice when they are not busy as I think they spend more time and she really did take her time. She really was nice and soon I had Beautiful toes again. She asked me if I liked them and I told her they looked great. Quick picture of my toes in the chair.

Now it was time for my manicure so I went over to the table and she started on my fingures. Kim asked me what colorf I wanted and I just said clear and added I can get away with red on my tgoes but no way I could have it on my fingers. About this time another young lady came in gto get a fill, she had beautiful long red nails and she sat right next to me. We chatted a little and I was so enviouse of her nails. Kim worked on my fingers and did a wonderful job it really was relaxing. It really is a nice nanil salon, clean and modern, it has only been open about 1 ½ years. She even gave me a shoulder message, now I was treated wonerdful here. I think they are still growing gtheir clientel and looking for new customers. She asked if I would tell my friends about their nails salon and I said I would. It really is a nice place and they do a great job. By the way they also offer a complimentery drink including wine, of course I skiped that part. Kim took wonderful care of me and again I am guessing it is because I am a potential new costomer. Now it was almost 1 when I was all done. Yes I jhad been here almost 2 hours, would have been so much more fun as Susan. Now toyota had also called and my car was ready but I stayed and finished my nails.

It was just before 1 when I left. Now I really had not thought this thriough as now I had pretty toes that still were not dry enough to put my shoes and socks back on so I was going to wear the little salmon colored flops and my oretty red toes showing as I walked back to Toyota. Now first thing these are not made for walking any distance as they are little better then walking barefoot. Now I also had to walk into toyota and get my care. Now no one said a thing b ut I am sure some of them had to have noticed them. It actually was kind of fun though. This is a picture from inside. I would also recommend AB nail salon if you are by Orchards Washington.

It was a fun day but would have been so much better as Susan, as a matter of fact I almost thought about telling Kim the lady who did my nails about Susan.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 8, 2018 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Happy Labor Day, little Susan time early

Happy Labor Day everyone, I hope you have a safe and happy holiday weekend. Okay first thing my nails are driving me crazy, I can’t tell you how much I miss my acrylic nails. Now I know part of the issue is my nails are thin from having and removing the acrylic but they just keep breaking, cracking and getting little rough spots on the end where I have to keep filing them shorter. A few are so short I have trouble filing them and yet they still crack. They look bad and feel bad. I really need to go to the nail salon but my time is limited and I really do want to give them a chance to grow out. I really do notice women’s nails more now as I am so jealous especially when I see long pretty red nails. Don’t get me wrong I love long nails but there is just something about a red color on nails that looks beautiful, yes red is my favorite color. Well on with the blog.

As I said with my parent’s health issues it is really hard for me to get out and especially go anyplace to far from home as I keep waiting for a call which I get a few times a week but so far nothing to serious. The other thing is my brother is coming to town more now which is nice but he stays with me so I always have to put Susan away now, for the last several years Susan has been spread all over my house. This weekend was no exception as he came up Friday evening and left Sunday late afternoon so there was n o chance to get Susan time yesterday for my Sunday evening out. But there is still a little bright spot as today is Labor Day and as a holiday I have it off although my family and friends think I am working so I have a few hours in the morning and I am going to take advantage of it.

I got up at 6 am and started getting ready as my plan is to go to Starbuck, the one a little farther from my house that I have also been going to as my male self for a couple hours and then go to a couple stores not to far away and do a little shopping, maybe grab an early lunch and then finish it up at the Starbuck’s by my house. It took me about 1 ½ hours to get ready this morning, shower shave, makeup and dressed. It took a little longer as I am a little out of practice also I wanted to try something new I saw online. As you know from my last blog I had bought a new foundation that was a little to dark / orange for me so what to do with it. I had seen a YouTube video of a lady who mixed a little foundation in her body cream so I decided to give it a try. It actually does work really well although a little tricky to get right. I think my mistake was doing 1 leg at a time as I think a got a little more foundation on my left leg so it tools a little work to even it out but my legs look awesome, smooth and tan, really tan so I did the same to my arms. I think I have found a use if I ever get the wrong foundation again. It was about 7:30 when I left home and got to Starbucks a few minutes later, yes not the one by my house but still less than a mile away, I actually have 4 Starbucks (one in a store), a Peets coffee and a BlackRock coffee all within a mile of my house.

Now I have gone to this Starbucks a few times as Susan and 4 or 5 times as my male self and they are never busy inside as they have a drive through. Kind of funny as this one is half again as big as the one by my house that does not have a drive through. Any way they have never been busy inside as everyone goes through the drive through. I think the most I have seen sitting inside is 6 or 8 so being an early morning on a holiday I figured. Well I was wrong when I got there, there were probably 15 people inside at tables. I went and ordered my drink and then got my table and computer out. Now even with the drive through people still came in and got drinks to go. I guess Starbucks is the place to go in the morning. I did take a quick selfie in the car before going in. now they were busy most of the time I was here a few times it got down to maybe 8 other people but never less than that. I stayed here till a little before 1 before leaving and going shopping. It still seams funny as I have a day to sleep in and I get up early to get some Susan time in. By the time I left here there were 25 to 30 people inside, only 12 small table open.

My first stop was Target as I wanted to look at their makeup and see if I could get a Maybelline foundation that better matches my skin. The last one I bought I did as my male self so it was pretty much grab and go. I am still not comfortable buying Susan stuff as my male self. It was a little after 10 and I was surprised they were not busier. I took my time looking at all the makeup as I really do enjoy looking at all the stuff. After that I went and picked out a warm beige color foundation and a darker foundation stick for contour and then it was up to the checkout. My next stop was Burlington coat to look at shoes as I have found some cute ones here before but no luck today. My final stop was Walmart and really here I just looked around, clothes and makeup and even some electronics. It was about 11:30 when I decided it was time for lunch.

I drove to the Wendy’s I was going to, haven’t been there in probably a month. I went in and yes still all ladies working here, a couple times I have been here when there was a male working but never more than 1 at a time and not very often. They were not busy at all as I had the place to myself. I got my meal and went and sat by the TV so I could watch golf, long drive competition. An older couple came in and they sat at the table next to me. The man accidently spilled his pop while he was onloading the tray of food. While he was getting another drink and telling them about his spill the lady asked me what I was watching as it looked like golf so I explained it was a log drive competition and we chatted a little. It was kind of nice. I left here about 12:30 and headed for the Starbucks by my house to finish out my day as I really only have till about 2. I got there and they also were a little busy 4 people at the tables outside and 14 at tables inside. There were a couple tables by the window so I set up my computer and went up and ordered. Usually the window seats are open as in the summer you get a lot of sun so warm and bright on the computer screen and in the winter a little cool. One of the things I like about the other Starbucks it the floor plan is just the opposite so at least you don’t get the bright sun through the window. I ordered my drink and then sat down and played on my computer including writing this blog. It still amazes me how busy they are during the day as there was always a steady stream of people coming and going. I stayed here till 2 before heading home to clean up and go back to my male life.

Not sure when Susan will, get out again as brother and other family are planning on coming up over the next couple weeks again. I am guessing if I do get out it will be a spur of the moment opportunity. Thanks for reading and be sure and see my most recent blog to know what’s new.

September 3, 2018 Posted by | Holiday, Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments


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