Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Wednesday night dinner at the Rock Bottom Restaurant.

It is Wednesday and tonight our group is doing dinner at the Rock Bottom Restaurant downtown on Morison Street. I have eaten here a couple times before and it is really good and I was looking forward to it. I got home late so it was a rush to get ready. I was ready by 6 and on my way. I got downtown Portland by 6:30 and drove around a few blocks but didn’t see any parking. It really is luck to find a street parking spot this time of night so I went to the parking garage which is only a block away, just easier. I walked into Rock Bottom at 6:45 and Cassandra was already there waiting for a table, looks like they are busy tonight. Melissa got there a little before 7 and it turned out this is all we would have tonight.

It wasn’t long and we were showed to our table well actually a both. We could have fit one more girl in if one had shown up. We did sit and talk for a little just in case anyone else showed up. We actually had a nice conversation and we talked about nails, family, finances, and several other things it was really enjoyable.

We ordered dinner and we all got different things as we all have our favorites. Mine is their Chicken Fried Chicken which is really good. The staff here was great and our waitress was outstanding. I would defiantly recommend Rock Bottom as a place to go to eat. It is mid-priced $10 to $25 but the food is awesome.

It is amazing how fast the night went by, good food and friends and wonderful conversation. We even talked about Diva Las Vegas and our Mexican Cruise as the 3 of us are going on both. Diva Las Vegas is less than 5 weeks away, wow it got here fast. Our group has done some really fun things over the years and we are always looking for new things to do like our Cruise. I think back to when I first started going out and it was all I could do to walk into a LGBT bar now we go to different restaurants all over the city, I have traveled to Las Vegas several times living as Susan the whole time start to finish and when we got on our cruise Cassandra, Kate, Julie, Melissa and I are all planning on flying down to LA for the cruise and home afterwards as our female selves. Cassandra, Julie and I have already booked our flights and are sitting next to each other. This is going to be so much fun it is the one thing I have wanted to do since the first trip to Las Vegas as Susan.

10 years ago, I would never have thought I would go out shopping by myself, dinner with friends or even to Starbucks as Susan let along living as Susan for 12 days traveling to Las Vegas, checking in and out of hotels and soon flying on an air plane. I have really grown as Susan and it is all because of my wonderful friend well they are more like family. There is still time to sign up for Diva Las Vegas or our Mexican Cruise. Last night at dinner we were all talking about our biggest regrets and I do have a couple but one is I waited so long to accept Susan as part of who I am and going out. I really wish I had started going out when I was in my 20’s as I missed so many adventures. But on the other side had I started going out then I may never have met the friends I have now and that would have been a huge loss as they are all a big part of my life. It really is fun to look back over my blog and see some of the things I have done.

Thanks for reading and be sure and keep up with what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.


March 15, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday out and dinner with my friends.

I had things to take care of today at home so it was almost 11 before I started getting ready. Now I know Cassandra usually goes out a little early on Wednesdays before dinner so I texted her to see when she would be out so we could meet up. She texted me back she hoped to be ready by 2:30 so that would be fun to meet up with her. Now I had to figure out how to do my makeup for the day. You see for going out to dinner with my friends I really wanted red lips but that is a bit much for the day, well you guessed it the red lipstick won. Now I did wear one of my black skirts with a grey top and my black boots with heels as I think this is really a classy work to evening look. It was 12:30 before I was ready to leave. I had about 2 hours give or take a little before Cassandra would be ready and with the red lipstick really didn’t want to go shopping. I decided to go to the Starbucks by my house, I have been to this Starbucks in the morning, late afternoon and evening but I don’t think I have ever been to this one at this time of day.

I left and headed for Starbuck, at the end of the street one of my neighbors a few houses down came around the corner in his car and with cars parked either side of the street there was only room for 1 car to go so I had to wait for him. Now I do know him by name and talk with him occasionally when we are getting our mail at the same time. As he went by he waved to me and I just waved back. I don’t know if he knows about this part of my life or not I am not sure he even really saw me or was just waving at the car but if he did look he saw long hair and red lips on the person driving. Now 1 of my neighbors knows for sure and I can not be sure if she has told anyone and with as often as I go out during the day I know other neighbors have seen at least a woman driving my car so I have to believe some if not all of them know something.

I got to Starbucks about 12:40 and again they were busy, 4 people waiting for their drinks and 3 in front of me to order and most of the tables taken. As I was standing there in line with 3 other woman the young man behind the counter looked at me and said hi Susan be right with you. Anyway, soon it was my turn and I ordered my drink, the young man complimented me on my nails which I so love so I thanked him. Now as I said they were pretty busy for a midafternoon, there were a couple seats at the counter around the corner, half the long table that seats 10 and 1 small table next to the window. I went over and put my computer on the small table and went and stood with the others waiting for our drinks. Now it was probably 75% woman here but it still amazed me bow busy they were in the midafternoon. It was also a good idea to put my computer on the table as several of the people in front of me went and sat either at the big table or the counter

I sat down and caught u on some e-mails and did a little work and just played on the internet for a while. It was just a little after 2:30 when Cassandra texted me and said she was leaving, we were going to meet at the 2nd Ave Sports bar (use to be Fox & Hounds) and spend a few hours there before dinner as we were eating at Hobo’s right around the corner. I got downtown and found the perfect parking spot right between the two of them but Cassandra texted me that they were closed. We decided to go to McMenamins Ringlers Pub instead, we have gone here for dinner a few times and it really big and very friendly. We got there and parked just a half block away. I paid for street parking but the only problem was it only had 2-hour parking and it was just a little after 3 so we would be here for at least 3+ hours which would mean remembering to come back out and pay again.

We both went inside and got a table and both set up our computers, Cassandra was doing a chatroom which she loves to do, she even turned her cam a couple times so the people could see me. I did some more work and caught up on the news mostly business news as the rest seems to be so negative. We also talked on and off. Seems Cassandra does this a lot on Wednesdays. She will get out sometimes as early as 1 and go someplace and do her chat room for a few hours before meeting the group for dinner. I really don’t understand the draw of a chatroom but then I am sure people think the same about my getting dressed as Susan just to go sit at a Starbucks for a few hours. Cassandra and I talked about it for a while and we have no answers. Some have told me I do it just so I can be watched or seen and I don’t know if that is true or not. I do know when I am out I am really not focused on how I am dressed I am just me and for that matter I am really not paying attention to them and if they are looking at me. I really think for me it is more just being able to do what any other woman does and be accepted for that.

Now we did order drinks and their pretzel appetizer, By the way as I always say drinks I just thought I would ad a note here, we both ordered pop as neither one of us drinks alcohol, actually quite a few of our groups member don’t drink alcohol so it is pretty strange the we go to so many bars. I have often told people if you told one of my male friends who doesn’t know about my dressing that you saw me in a bar dressed as a woman I honestly think they would be more shocked that you saw me in a bar. By the way the pretzel appetizer is incredible, warm salted pretzel sticks with melted cheese to dip them in.

We stayed here till 6:30 and yes, we both remembered to go out and pay for parking again. Then we drove over to Hobo’s. They were not at all busy so we had our pick of tables. We sat down and it wasn’t long and Melissa and Barb showed up. It was just the 4 of us for the evening. We all talked before ordering dinner, I had the chicken Parmesan which is really good. We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation. The night went by so fast, we finished and paid our bills. I was shocked it was almost 10 when we left, it did not seem like we had been here almost 3 hours. It really is fun to be out with my friends.

Tomorrow I have some me time as I will be out by myself and Friday I am meeting Mikaela for some shopping which will be so much fun. It will give us a chance to talk and catch up as she goes out mostly in Salem so I haven’t seen her for probably a year or more.

Thanks for reading and keep up with what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

February 8, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday and our group is going to the City Grill for dinner.

Saturday is here and it is the first fill day of my vacation. I had some things I needed to do early in the day so I couldn’t be Susan but of course I still had the red nails when I was out kind of a reminder of things to come. Now I got done with my stuff a little after noon and made a quick stop for a small burger as I was hungry but didn’t want to much as dinner will be awesome. It was about 1 when I got home and of course now I was thinking about tonight and what I would wear and how I would do my makeup and of course which hair style, all the fun things about being a female. About the only thing I was sure of at this point would be red lipstick to match my red nails. Dinner will be at the Portland City Grill which is a high-end restaurant on the 30th floor of the US Bancorp tower. Now 10 years ago when I was first working up the courage to go out to Embers which was a gay night club that did drag shows on the weekends and we never got there till it was dark out as I didn’t want to leave my house while it was light out would I have ever imagined going someplace like this as Susan. Our dinner reservations are for 6 pm.

Now I know we have 9 signed up for this and I was thinking Julies was going so I texted her to make sure as I figured I could pick her up and we could ride together instead of both of us driving there plus just more fun going with someone. She was going so I said I would pick her up at 5 to give us time incase we hit traffic. It was about 2 now and I wanted to have 2 hours to get ready as I was sure there would be some time spent picking out my dress for tonight, I plan on wearing my new corset tonight to give me that nice shape and of course trying on dresses with a corset on is not as easy. I started getting ready again something my male side would never do. I can’t imagine anything I would go to as my male self where I would need or even want to spend a couple hours getting ready. A nice long shower and then some body lotion and face moisturizer and then it was time to start my makeup. I really took my time on my makeup as I wanted it as perfect as I could, I always have trouble on my lips especially my lower lip to get both sides the same. N ow I know you really can’t see it unless you are looking really close but I always seem to notice it. Tonight, I got both sides almost perfect so I was happy. Funny the little things we focus on.

It was after 3:30 now and I was down to an hour before I wanted to leave and all that was left was to get dressed. Now with the corset I learned I need everything on accept for my dress and wig before I lace up the corset to hard to bend in corset but really gives you curves. Now I had four dresses laid out in my bed all a little heavier as to hid the corset as the goal was for people not to know, I wanted them to think the curves were mine although if you have been following my blog you would probably know I would have it on tonight. Now lacing up a corset by yourself is not the easiest thing to do especially if you are not really flexible. It takes work and time to tighten as you have to pull starting at the top going down and then pull the slack at the middle and repeat. Once you get the top half done it is time to do the bottom in the same was although easier to reach for me, here is the video they have to show you how to lace yourself in. By the way I bought my corset at Orchard Corset and would recommend them if you are looking for one. Now believe it or not it took me over 20 m minutes to get myself all laced in and I was happy with the look. Now it was time to try on dresses which is always fun. They all looked good but being heavier they didn’t fully show the shape that I was trying to get. I went back to my closet and I have a really beautiful elegant dress but is really thin material but I wanted to see how it would look with the corset so I got it out and tried it on and to my amazement you really couldn’t tell I had in a corset and you could see the shape. This was the dress for tonight. Here is a picture that was taken after dinner as we were leaving in then parking garage, yes believe it or not this was the best lighting as the restaurant is dimly lit for a romantic mood.

It was now 4:30 and I was ready to go pick Julie up. I got to Julie’s just before 5 right on Schedule. Julie was ready to go. Of course, I had to say high to Trixie, would have been nice if Trixie had gone tonight but her and Julie know a lot of people and have gone to this restaurant many times and although Julie wouldn’t be recognized Trixie would. We have several members in our group whose wives and girlfriends support them and even go out with them which is great but they are easily recognizable as they are out as themselves and then that could give away more then we want.

Julie and I were on our way a little after 5 and got downtown Portland to the building and parked in the underground parking. This was nice for two reasons it was close and we didn’t have to walk outside in the weather which was actually nice right now. But this would allow me to not cover up my dress with a wrap so everyone could see my pretty dress. As we were getting out of the car Kim was walking by so the 3 of use walked in together. We took the elevator to the 30th floor and walked in to the City grill which was very dimly lit, yes, we would be using our cell phones to read the menu. You can see from my selfie how low the lighting is. We ran into Jan, Lynn, Melissa and her wife coming off the other elevator so all seven of us walked to our table together.

Now Sandy was in town for work so she stopped by to talk with us briefly, we tried to talk her into staying but she has to drive home tonight and she lives about 3 hours north of here. It was nice to see here again and talk with her briefly. Turns out we had 12 people for dinner tonight which is really good ass we use to be happy if we could get 6 or 8 to come out on a Saturday night to a bar much less get 12 to go to a very mainstream high-end restaurant. I sat down between Kim and Jan and Cassandra Julie and Kate were across from me with Lynn on the end. At the other end of the table next to Kim was Joan and Karen and across form them were Joan (yes 2 Joan’s tonight), Melissa and her wife on the end.

Now we talked for a while as it was great to see everyone again. It was awesome to see Kim and sitting next to her I got a chance to talk with her and catch up which was really wonderful. I do love talking with my friends and I do miss them when they don’t get out much. Of course, I had to get a picture with Kim tonight. We actually took a couple of them and this was the only one that turned out good, well good of me, Kim looked great in all of them. Usually I try to slouch down to the same height so I don’t tower over the other person which in a corset you can’t do and if you try it really shows in the picture so I am just way taller than her sitting here and that is okay. You can see some of the city lights behind us through the window.

Now our waiter was awesome, he recommended items and was always there when we needed something, a lot of times without asking. One of the good things about high-end restaurants they have enough staff to make sure you have really good service. Now I was thinking of a nice steak but went with the double porkchop instead. Everyone ordered and then it was time for more pictures. It seems when we go someplace new we all think about pictures. One of the ladies who works here saw us all taking pictures and came over and took a couple pictures of out whole table. Kind of hard to see everyone as it was a long table and we all had to lean in a little, although with my sitting up so straight and tall I was able to pretty much look over Kim’s head.

Dinner came and wow my porkchop was huge, I hope I can eat it all. Some of the girls got Steak, some Salmon, a few Steak and Lobster and it all looked wonderful and it was. My Porkchop was incredible, I would highly recommend it if you go here for dinner. We had a wonderful dinner with good conversation, again the only bad thing was the size of the group as you really couldn’t talk with everyone. Although after dinner before we left I did get at least a chance to say hi to everyone one and talk with them briefly.

After dinner a couple of the girls ordered dessert to share, really, I could never have eaten a whole dessert as the size of my dinner was big and of corset the corset pulled things in. I did have a few bites of Julies desert which was incredible. Really wonderful food here. I would recommend them for a really nice dinner out, a little expensive (figure $50 to $100 each with drinks & dessert) but it really was worth it. It was a wonderful evening with awesome friends, a big thanks to Cassandra for organizing tonight. It really did go by so fast as soon it was after 9, hard to believe we have been here over 3 hours. A few of the girls left first and then the rest of us. Julie and I got down to the parking garage and of course in the light I had her take a few pictures of me in my dress, the one above, thanks Julie. There were a couple people waiting to go in and one of the girls came over and asked if we would like her to take a picture of us together and of course you know the answer to that question.

We left and I took Julie home before heading home myself. It was an incredible night out with my friends, a memory that will last. Now this blog is a lot longer than normal and I am sorry for that but if you read this far thank you. But I do my blogs not only to share with all of you but also so I can remember things I have done and the special times I have as Susan. It is a great way to document your life and weather you are trans or not I would highly recommend pictures and writing something about the special times and events in your life. It is great to go back and remember these things.

At dinner we were talking about times we have had, things we have done and Sisters we have lost. Especially Cristine who was a big part of our group, she would have loved tonight. We were trying to think when she passed away and I was able to look it up in my blog, turns out it was one year ago yesterday and we still all miss her and think of her often. I really have met some incredible friends along the way of my growing and accepting my female side and all of them have had an impact on my life, some small some huge but all very important to me.

Thanks for reading and being part of my life. Be sure and keep up with what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

February 4, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Who Song & Larry

Wednesday is here and again our group is going out to dinner and this week it is Who Song & Larry’s. This is always a fun night and a fun place to go. I started getting ready early taking my time doing my makeup as I think about what I can wear tonight. I think that is one of the wonderful things about being Susan is the thought about what I should wear, which heels, dress or outfit, hair, how to do my makeup and the look I want. I actually enjoy this time thinking about this this stuff.

I was all ready by 5:45 and on my way, I got to Who Song and Larry’s a little after 6 and went in. They were not as busy tonight as they were the last few times we have come here. I got inside and the man at the desk greeted me and asked if I wanted a table. I told him I was waiting for others as we had a group coming tonight. He was very accommodating and said he would set up tables and asked how many we had which I didn’t know so I texted Cassandra to get the number. Turns out she had just arrived and was in the parking lot. She came in and we told him we had 8 for dinner and he said he would get us set up. Cassandra and I went into the bar to wait for others. Cassandra and I both ordered a drink and of course tortilla chips and bean dip, they have the best fresh made chips and a cheese bean dip, I could make a meal out of this alone.

Melissa and her wife showed up next followed by Kate. They ordered drinks and we talked for a few minutes before moving to our table. Now as I said they were not busy at all tonight, one other big group of 6 and a few more tables of 2 to 4 and that was it. Our waiter came over to see if we needed anything and he was really wonderful of course we have always had wonderful service here. We told him we were waiting for a few more so he brought use more chips and salsa as we waited. Julie showed up next and then Barb so we had 7 tonight for dinner. Our waiter came back and took our orders, most of us had the special, all you can eat enchiladas which after all the chips and dip I really don’t need the all you can eat but the cost is about the same as just getting a regular dinner. Now our waiter didn’t write anything down he did it all from memory all 7 orders. We all had fun with this and he did a really good job just a couple minor mistakes that he corrected.

The food was good, if you like Mexican food this is a wonderful place to eat. We had a nice dinner and wonderful conversation. WE talked about our Mexican Cruise in October which we are all looking forward to. We also talked about Diva Las Vegas and our dinner this Saturday, we really do have a wonderful and active group here in Portland. The food was great and we even had a little desert which was awesome. A couple of the girls ordered them and shared them with all. One was the Bunuelo caramel Sunday which was really good, the other was Sopapillas which were awesome.

It was a wonderful night as it always is when I go out with my friends for dinner. I am really looking forward to Saturdays night dinner. Now I start my vacation Friday evening and I had planned to have the whole week to be Susan but that won’t happen although I will get a good amount of tome as Susan. I was also going to get my nails done with a red gel polish Friday night, yes, I will start my vacation with a manicure and pedicure. But as I will not be able to be Susan for the whole week but I am thinking of getting my normal color Wedding Dress and then having them put regular nail polish on in a red color that I can take off with polish remover. I also plan on doing some shopping as I need a new purse, mine is probably 8 years old and starting to wear out. I plan on getting together with Peggy for lunch and shopping and maybe some other girls. It will be a fun week.

It was almost 10 when we left Who Song & Larry’s. it was sad to see the night end but I have to get up early in the morning.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new in my life as Susan in my most recent blog.

February 1, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, who song & larry | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night outing

It is Wednesday and I am going to get to go out tonight for dinner with my friends. I got home and of course the most important thing was I needed a manicure. I called Dream nails and got an appointment for 5, so looking forward to this. I really love going to the nail salon. I started getting ready taking my time to enjoy it. As I got ready I had the big issue of what to wear and how to do my makeup. Normally I would wear a dress and heels to go to dinner but I am also going to the nail salon first. Well I settled on a black skirt and sweater top and my high heeled boots although I did go with the red lipstick.

I got to the nail salon just before 5 and went in. they were not busy, just 1 lady getting a pedicure. Anna was ready for me so I sat right down and she started on my nails, it is such a relaxing experience. She removed the old gel polish and got my nails ready for the for the new acrylic to fill in. She asked me if I wanted them shortened and of course I didn’t but I knew I needed to so I told her yes. It is always sad when she uses the grinder to make them shorter. She also fixed the nail I broke the corner off of and soon she was putting on the new acrylic. now she has been using a pink acrylic which gives my nails a slight pink color, it would probably be more if she put it on thicker but she does a thin layer. Now it was time for the gel polish and Anna asked if I wanted the clear again and I said no I wanted the color wedding dress which is a slight pink although with the pink acrylic is does have more of a pink color. I really do love the way my nails look with this color of course I would much rather have a bright red. Maybe in 2 weeks as I will be on vacation. Anna put the first coat on and then the second coat and yes, my nails have a slight pretty pink shade. Now I know some people have noticed but only one person has ever said anything, but a lot of the woman I work with are taking way better care of their nails and several now have pretty long acrylic nails. I guess they just don’t want a man to have better looking nails then they do. It was about 5:40 when I was all done and on my way with my pretty nails.

Now Julie had taxed me earlier and she is also going to dinner tonight so I am going to pick her up so I was on my way to her house. I got to her house a little after 6 and she was already. It was great to see her again as she had been on vacation to Australia for 3 weeks. I was looking forward to hearing all about her trip. Now there was a lot of traffic so we got downtown just before 7. We were having dinner at McMenamins tavern & pool, the group has gone here a couple times before but it will be my first time. I really like going to new places.

Melissa and Cassandra were already there. It was good to see them again. Barb also showed up so we had 5 for dinner. Now I do like the bigger group outings as it is always fun to see a lot of girls out but it is harder to talk with all and also when we are at the bars it gets loud. These Wednesday night dinners are a lot of fun as having smaller groups you can really have good conversations which all can be involved in and it is not loud so you can easily hear what is going on. It might just be to many times to bars. We ordered dinner and had a wonderful time. It really was a wonderful night out. We also talked about our Mexican cruise in October of 2018, if you have ever thought about going on a cruise be sure and check out our web page for more information.

It is amazing how fast the night went by and soon it was 9:30 which doesn’t sound that late but I get up a little after 4 am in the morning and it will be at least an hour to get home and in bed but it is so worth it to go out with my friends. Saturday most of our group will be going to Salem to go out with the girls down there, I won’t be able to make it so I will go to the Escape at least for a while for dinner and to see if anyone else stays local.

Thank for reading and be sure to keep up with what I am doing in my most recent blog.

January 18, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, Manicure & pedicure, nail salon | , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday dinner at Southland Whiskey Kitchen

Wednesday is here and our group is doing its Wednesday night dinner at Southland Whiskey Kitchen. I am looking forward to this as I have been here a couple times before in 2016 and early 2017 and it is a wonderful place to go for dinner, wonderful food, fair price and wonderful atmosphere. A really nice place to go for an evening out, the only bad thing is parking is not easy, but I would highly recommend them.

I started getting ready as I wanted to get there early so I would have time to find a parking spot and be there by 7. Besides I wanted to take my time and enjoy getting ready. I was all ready by 6 and on my way, I got downtown by 6:30 and luck would have it I found a parking spot about a block away just around the corner. Now it wasn’t raining but I took my umbrella just in case because I know if I don’t have it I will need it. I got there and Cassandra and kearren were already here, turns out Cassandra got here around 5. Now we do our dinners at 7 so we sat and talked and gave time for others to show up as we had a few other girls say they would be here.

Melissa showed up a little before 7 and the 4 of us sat and talked. I do like these smaller group outings as it is easier to talk with everyone. Of course a couple of the things we talked about was Diva Las Vegas and of course our Mexican Cruise in October. Diva Las Vegas is April 15 to 20th 2018 and it is so much fun. Check out their web page and think about going. The cruise is October 13 to 20th 2018 and will be so much fun. I have never done a cruise and I am really looking forward to it including flying down and back as Susan. Now this is not a transgender cruise but we do have 29 signed up to go of which about 15 are from our group the rose city t-girls here in Portland. If you have ever thought about going on a cruise this is the one.

By 7:15 we decided to order as we figured it was just us 4 for dinner. We had a wonderful time for a few hours and a great dinner. Our waitress was awesome. We really have had wonderful people wait on us and have always been treated wonderful every place we have gone. Portland really is a wonderful place to be. After dinner we looked at the desserts menu, last time we were here Cassandra got a big warm chocolate chip cookie which I was all set to have but they don’t have it anymore, kind of a let down but the good thing was I didn’t order dessert, good for me. Well Casandra did order dessert and shared it with all of us, how nice of her, Thanks Cassandra. This worked out well as we got some dessert but didn’t eat the whole thing by ourselves.

It was a nice evening out with my friends and it was sad to see it come to an end. It was a little after 9 when we left. I really do love these outings with my friends. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to find out what is new in Susan’s Life.

January 13, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday, two days before Christmas

It is the Saturday before Christmas, actually two days before Christmas. This year has goo=ne by so fast. Now I am going to the Escape tonight although I am not sure how many from our group will be out as I know some are out of town for the holidays. Kate posted in our group to see if anyone else was going out so I posted back I would be there so I figure at least she will be there. I started getting ready about 4:30 a little later then I wanted as I was hoping to get there early. I was all ready and on my way by 5:40 so I got there right at 6 and was able to park right in front, one of the reasons for getting there early.

I went in and they were not that busy so I got our usual table which seats 10, I always feel a little bad taking such a big table when I am not sure how many if any will show up. One of the ladies at the bar who I have talked to many times was there and said hi and how nice I looked which I always love, it is my feminine side but I love hearing how nice or pretty I look. N ow I feel bad as I can not remember her name and I didn’t want to ask her what it was again. Any way I talked with her and two of her friends for about 10 minutes and of course one of the topics here heels. I finally sat down and broke out my computer and of course ordered dinner as I was hungry.

Now there were other people in the bar but it was not real busy which I kind of figured being a couple days before Christmas. I figured I would get a quick selfie. I had a nice dinner and caught up on some work as I waited to see if anyone else would show up. One of our new members in the group Lee said she was going to stop by in boy mode as she still has not gone out of her house as a female yet so now I was thinking there would be at least two others tonight.

It was now after 7:30 and I was beginning to wonder if I would be it when Kate arrived. Now I don’t mind going out by myself as I do it all the time when I go to Starbuck’s but it is always more fun when you have someone else with you. It was good to see her out. We talked for a few minutes when this guy walked over and introduced himself as Lee and joined us. It was nice to meet lee and she yes, I am calling her she as hopefully when she comes out with the group in the future it will be as her female self but if not, that is okay and she is still welcome. Now I give her a lot of credit to come out as her male self. It took me years before I would let anyone know who I was on my male side or see me. Any way the three of us talked and got to know each other better. Lee seams really nice but has the same fears and concerns we all have had at one time or another. I told her it does get easier with time and going out but the first few times are hard. I remember my first times I was so scared and really didn’t want to talk with anyone but I have a wonderful friend named Alice who really helped me. I remember one of the first times we were out, two girls came over and started talking to me and I thought that was so wonderful and it really helped me feel more comfortable, found out later Alice had run into them at the bar and was talking to them and told them how nervous I was and asked them to come over and say hi to me. It was a simple thing but it really did make a big difference for me and helped me feel more at ease. It is funny the things you remember from your past that to others may not seem like that big of a thing, a kind word, compliment or just being there with the person but it can have a huge impact on them.

Well I learned a lot about Lee, she has actually come out to her younger sister and a friend and both took it well which is great. Now there are some who know me both ways but they met me as Susan well plus my neighbor who know but that was because she saw me and found out but I have never just come out to someone about Susan. That is a hard thing to do as once you tell one person you really have no control over it and you can never truly know who knows. I don’t know if my neighbors told anyone else and to this day none of my neighbors have ever said a thing about it but it is possible every one of my neighbors know. I mean it is not something most people would walk up to you and say “guess what I heard about you?” the good thing is none of my neighbors treat me any different.

It really was nice to just sit and talk, well a little later another man came over and said he was listening to our conversation and he even apologized for listening in which you really have to figure others around you can hear what you are talking about. Anyway, he introduced himself and then showed me a picture. He went to Over the Rainbow Wednesday and got a makeover. I will also use her female name which is Evonne. Any way I asked her to join us and the 4 of us kept talking, Evonne also has never been out and it turns out Lee and Evonne work in the same field, kind of a small world. I told Evonne about our group the Rose City T-girls and invited her to join. It was nice to get to know them both and I hope they both come out with our group again. Now it wasn’t real busy tonight but soon Karaoke started which I was looking forward to as I wanted to hear some Christmas songs, yes, I love Christmas Music and have been listening to it since before Thanksgiving. Any way there was no Christmas music tonight it was just like every other Saturday night which there was nothing wrong with but I was hoping for Christmas music.

One more of our girls showed up so we had 4 from our group tonight which was smaller than normal but better then I thought there would be. Everyone was in a good mood and several girls came over and talked with us which is nice. Evonne was the first to leave and then Lee, I really hope they had a good time and felt welcome in our group. Kate played some pool and I sat and listened to the singing, it was just good to be out again. It was almost 11 when I decided to call it a night, I got up to leave when the Karaoke called a lady up and announced it would be the first Christmas song of the night. Well I have been waiting for this all night so I sat back down. The Lady sang Oh come all ye Faithfull and did a really good job, now I will admit this was not the Christmas music I expected in a bar but I sang along, I really love Christmas music but I do think my favorite is the Christmas Carols as after all this is what Christmas is all about. After she was done most of the people clap. Well it was now 11 and I needed to go so I said goodbye to my friends and headed for the door. On my way I stopped at the bar where the lady who just sang was sitting and told her how well she did and how much I enjoyed the song as I love Christmas Music. Well much to my surprise she stood up and thanked me and gave me a huge hug. We talked for a few minutes and she told me she hadn’t seen her dad in years and it was one of his favorite Christmas songs and how she used to go to Church with him all the time. I talked with her a few more minutes and she gave me another hug and thanked me. As I said before you never know what impact you can have on someone. And this time of year, can be hard as a lot of people don’t have family they can spend it with especially in the LGBT community. I was on my way home and I wished I had stayed just a little longer and talked with her some more.

It was a good night and a wonderful way to start the Christmas weekend off. To all my friend a very Merry Christmas and please know you are in my heart and thoughts.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what I am up to.

December 24, 2017 Posted by | Christmas, Dinner out, Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Deschutes brewing

It is Wednesday and the Rose City T-girls are going to Dinner at the Deschutes Brewing downtown Portland. Now I have never been here before so I was looking forward to it and planning on going. I got home at 4:30 and Julie texted me to see if I was going. I texted her back and said yes and asked if she wanted me to pick her up and ride with me. So, we will be gong together tonight. I started getting ready as I wanted to pick Julie by 6:15. I was ready a little before 6 and on my way and guess what, I was low on gas so I stopped at Costco and got gas before heading to pick Julie up. It was closer to 6:30 when I got to Julie’s.

Julie was all ready when I got there so we were on our way to meet our friends for dinner. It was a nice drive and Julie and I had a chance to talk which was nice. We got downtown and had to park 3 blocks a way which was no big deal other then being really cold out. As we walked the few blocks we talked a little about how far we have come. Not many years ago we would only go out to LGBT places like Embers (which sadly closed) & CC Slaughters and we would always park as close as we could as we didn’t want to be out side any longer than we had to. Now we go to mainstream places and what I mean by that is going anyplace we want and not worrying about if the place is LGBT friendly or the fact we are part of the LGBT. All we are thinking is we are people like everyone else going out for dinner.

We got there and yes, I was a little cold but I did wear my high heel and not my open toed heels. Melissa was already there and they were really busy, we had to wait about 20 minutes before we got a table but that was okay as we still had girls that hadn’t shown up yet. We sat on a bench by the door with others waiting for tables, just like everyone else. Barb and Kearren showed up so the five of us waited till our table was ready. Soon we were seated and just waiting for Cassandra, yes, she was going to be able to join us tonight. It really wasn’t long and Cassandra showed up. We talked for a little more before ordering dinner.

Now, our waiter was wonderful, he treated us great and with respect as really everyone we interacted with here. It is always nice to go to places that treat everyone the same and yes, we have a great city here and we really have always been treated well where ever we go. We all ordered dinner and I did get one of their hamburgers which was awesome. There were only 6 of us tonight so it was easy for all of us to talk with each other. It is one of those 2 sided choices. I really do like when we have big turnouts but it makes it hard to talk with everyone, the smaller groups are more personal and easier to talk with everyone.

We had a great dinner and then sat and talked till almost 10, yes later then I planned on being out and in the morning, I will regret it but I was having fun and out with my friend. Julie ordered a desert and I helped her eat a little, thanks Julie. It really was a wonderful night out. It was almost 10 when we left and it was a chilly walk back to the car. I still amazes me how easily I walk around the town, as a matter of fact I don’t think I really thought ab out being out as a woman tonight other than when I was doing my makeup and picking out my dress. The rest of the night I was just out as myself, being myself. Susan is just a part of who I am, she is as much a part of me as my male side, but a lot more fun.

The drive home was nice as Julie and I talked more, it was really nice. Now Julie is going out of town for a few weeks for the Holiday’s so she wont be out for a while. It was almost 11 when I got home, it will be a short night but so worth it.

Thanks for reading and keep up on what is new in my life on my most recent blog.

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and please be safe.

December 21, 2017 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night dinner on the Portland Spirit

It is Saturday and our group is doing our Holiday dinner cruise on the Portland Spirit, I have been looking forward to this for a couple months. But before I get into todays adventure an update on our Mexican Cruise. I made my Airline reservations this week, I am on the same flights as Cassandra and Peggy and Kate, Julie and Trixie are going to book their flights this week. We are all planning on flying together and yes, I am going to do the whole trip as Susan including flying and Kate, Cassandra and Julie are also planning on flying as Susan. Okay back to today. Julie texted me this morning to find out what I was wearing, something only woman do. Anyway, I had my outfit all picked out, my red and black dress so I went back through the photos on my phone to find a picture of the dress to text her when I saw another dress I had worn so I went to the closet to look at that dress and soon I had 5 dresses out. What went wrong. Anyway, after a little while I changed my mined and went with my black dress with silver flecks in it. Now I was going to pick Julie up and we were going together as it is one less car to park.

I started getting ready about 3:30 as I wanted to take my time getting ready. It still amazes me how much time I am willing to put in to getting Susan ready. It was about 5:15 when I was ready and on my way to Julies house. I got there about 5:45 and Julie was already. We were soon on our way with lots of time as we can’t board the Portland Spirit till 6:30. Well it was lucky as there was so much traffic, it was almost like rush hour during the week. It was good we left early. We got downtown Portland right at 6:30 and luck would have it we found a parking spot right on Front Avenue right across the street from where we board. Now it was clod out so I wore my wrap but wearing a dress and of course open toed heels, really all that got cold were my toes. now there was a lot of people already there but we saw Peggy, Cassandra, Kate, Tobi, Jeanie and Amy so we went and joined them. Now as you board the ship that take a picture of your group.

Now it was time to board and you go down a long metal ramp at about a 40-degree angle Probably shouldn’t have worn 3″ heels, not as easy in heels although I didn’t have the highest heels. That honor went to Peggy, she had the cutest high heels. We got to the bottom and then had to go up a small ramp into the ship and then up the stairs to the upper floor where we had our tables. Now Nicole, Barb, Bambi, Kris, Barb, Joan, Laura, Max, Sophie, Melissa and her wife and I am sure I am missing someone. We had a really big group, 19 but with such a big group we were at 2 different tables and being crowded it was hard to talk with everyone but I at least got a chance to say high to everyone. Now I got to sit right next to the window which was great for the view but made it hard to talk with people other then right next to me and also hard to get out and move around. Now Peggy and Julie were just to my right and Kate and Tobi across from me and of course I had to get one selfie.

Now there were lots of pictures taken tonight it was so awesome. Now this is a new event for our group going on the Portland Spirit and I really like these events. It is nice to go someplace we have never gone before. The staff on board was wonderful and treated us awesome. Now there was a lot of people on the ship and several of the groups on the ship were doing Christmas parties. It was a really fun time on the ship. Now it was cold so I didn’t go up on deck although thinking now I probably should have.

Our waitress was awesome she took our orders and was checking on us all the time to see if we needed anything. The service was incredible and the food was wonderful. I had the Beef Tenderloin and it was so good. Several of the girls had the Salmon and that also looked wonderful. Now the dinner cruise was $70 but included dinner and desert and of course the cruise. It was a wonderful deal. It was a wonderful cruise and the lights of the city as they went by were beautiful. Now I am wondering what it would be like to do the cruise in the summer when it is still light out. We cruised up the Willamette river for about an hour before turning around and going back down. I am now really looking forward to our Mexican Cruise next October.

Now after dinner came desert and the dinner came with a brownie which looked good but they also had Pumpkin cheesecake. I love Cheesecake and I love Pumpkin pie so of course I had to have the Pumpkin Cheesecake. Peggy got the Eggnog Cheesecake and Julie got the Peppermint Cheesecake. This worked out wonderful as we all shared so we could taste each. They were all wonderful but I think the Pumpkin was the best.

It was great to see Nicole again she made it down this weekend to go out with us. She is also going on the Mexican cruise with us next October. We have 29 going so far so it will be a wonderful cruise. I had to get a picture with Nicole. I still remember the first time I met her when I was shopping. I would have liked to talk with her more. Maybe one of these times we will have to get together earlier, maybe a shopping trip.

After dinner we all got together for a group picture, while we were setting it up we had several people offer to take the picture for us, how wonderful was that. It took us about 5 minutes maybe more to get all set up for the pictures. It is such a wonderful picture of our group. I love to have pictures and be able to look back on events in my life and things I have done and the friends I have spent time with. This is why I started my blog all those years ago. Now I am not saying everyone should do a blog but you really should have some pictures and at least write down a little about what you did and who you were with as it is part of your life and a part of who you are.

Now while we were taking the picture a lady came over and started talking with Kate and me, her name was Kristin She was awesome and so nice. Of course, I had to get a picture with her. I also took a picture of her and Kate, I really like meeting people when I am out. It really was a magical night. Now we talked about going someplace after the cruise but it was almost 10 when we got back to the dock and left the ship. By the way going up the ramp from the ship in heels was way easier as it was almost like walking flat footed. We decided to call it a night. We all walked back towards where we parked and of course my toes once again got cold. It really was a shame to see the night come to an end but the memories will last a lifetime.

Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up with my latest adventures.

December 10, 2017 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out on a Thursday night for dinner

Thursday night out, Cassandra texted me to see if I wanted to meet her for dinner at the second avenue sports bar (ne old Fox & Hounds). I decided to go have dinner with her. We were going to meet at 6 and after dinner go to Embers for a little while as tonight is the last night open as they are being shut down. I got all ready and got downtown just before 6 traffic was horrible tonight do to the Blazer game. Cassandra was already there on her computer. It was good to be out again.

We talked a little about the group and up coming events and also about the changes here at the old Fox & Hounds. The new owner Erin is really nice and she has really cleaned things up and made it look new, added a couple more pool tables. It really is nice. We ordered dinner and it was really good. Now I am not saying Fox & Hounds was bad as I really liked it and we always had a nice time there but things change and sometimes change is good. It is a nice place and I would recommend the Second Avenue Sports bar check them out 217 NW 2nd Ave, Portland, OR 97209. It was a really nice time. It was a little after 7 when we decided to go over to Embers for their last night.

We got over there and they were really busy, it took us a little while to find a parking spot a couple blocks away. We got to Embers and there was a line to get in, we ran into David who use to work here when we came here. Now we have not been to Embers in probably 7 years, I think the last time we were here was the summer of 2010. We had a disagreement with the owner and we found another place called the P-club and well that didn’t work out either but because of it we started going more places and that was a good thing as we have grown so much as a group. Now although we haven’t gone here in years it still does have a special place in my heart. Embers was the first place I really ever went out, I had actually gone here 3 times sat in my car for an hour and then left, the 4th time I was getting ready to leave when another t-girl walked by and tapped on my car window and asked if I was going in and I did her name was Lori and she was the first person I had ever met that was transgender. That night really changed my life as for the first time I felt I wasn’t the only one like this. This is also where I met Alice, my first real friend in the transgender community. She would e-mail me when she came to Portland and I would go meet her at Embers. I so looked forward to when she came to town as at this point I would not go out by myself and it took all I could do to walk into Embers even knowing she would be there. Alice doesn’t get out any more but I still think of her and how she helped me start going out. This is a picture of us from a long time ago.

Embers was the first place I went and that does make it sad that it closed, so many of our girls in the group this was where they got their start. We all have some fond memories from here and although we haven’t gone here for a while it is still kind of like home. I think that is why Cassandra and I and I am sure all the people who came here tonight are here. It is like going back to the home you grew up in.

We really did have some wonderful times here, it was every Friday night and sometimes on Saturday night, some of the girls came here Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. It was a safe place we could go and be ourselves even if we weren’t sure who we were at that point.

This is where I met Cassandra for the first time probably in 2007 and found out about the Rose City T-girls group she had. It was a great idea but I was still nervous and didn’t join till early 2008 but that was the best thing I did as I got to know more of the girls and that is where I really started to become the lady I am now with the help of my friends. Cassandra is one of my best friends now and knows almost as much about my male self as my female self. As a matter of fact, several of the girls in the group know almost as much about my male self as my female self.

Embers is where I met Jan & Lynn, Tereasa, Peggy, Barb, Rachael, Penelope and so many others and I am still friends with them today. This is a picture of Rachael, me, Penelope and Cassandra, we met them here at Embers and just hit it off. It is funny as we took so many pictures back then but that was also 3 computers ago and I am sure I have all the pictures just not sure where to find them. We came here for New Years a couple times, here is a picture from that, what cute hats we all have on.

I think we will all miss it as Embers really did shape our lives some and who we are. Below are a few more pictures I found from Embers all those years ago. I created my blog as a way to document my life and time as Susan and it is nice at times like this I can go back and remember some of the things I have done and the people I have met. Now I am not saying you should all do a blog but you should have some pictures and some notes to look back on what you did and the people who you met and had an impact on your life. We only stayed here till about 9:30 as I had to get up early in the morning. On the way out, we talked with David more and also ran into Jim. He use to come out with us all the time at Embers but when our group left and went else where we lost touch with him. It was great to see him again. It was a good night but a little sad.

Thanks for reading and keep up with me on my most recent blog.

Cassandra an I at the pool table

December 2, 2017 Posted by | Dinner out, Embers | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

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