Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Out on a Thursday night for dinner

Thursday night out, Cassandra texted me to see if I wanted to meet her for dinner at the second avenue sports bar (ne old Fox & Hounds). I decided to go have dinner with her. We were going to meet at 6 and after dinner go to Embers for a little while as tonight is the last night open as they are being shut down. I got all ready and got downtown just before 6 traffic was horrible tonight do to the Blazer game. Cassandra was already there on her computer. It was good to be out again.

We talked a little about the group and up coming events and also about the changes here at the old Fox & Hounds. The new owner Erin is really nice and she has really cleaned things up and made it look new, added a couple more pool tables. It really is nice. We ordered dinner and it was really good. Now I am not saying Fox & Hounds was bad as I really liked it and we always had a nice time there but things change and sometimes change is good. It is a nice place and I would recommend the Second Avenue Sports bar check them out 217 NW 2nd Ave, Portland, OR 97209. It was a really nice time. It was a little after 7 when we decided to go over to Embers for their last night.

We got over there and they were really busy, it took us a little while to find a parking spot a couple blocks away. We got to Embers and there was a line to get in, we ran into David who use to work here when we came here. Now we have not been to Embers in probably 7 years, I think the last time we were here was the summer of 2010. We had a disagreement with the owner and we found another place called the P-club and well that didn’t work out either but because of it we started going more places and that was a good thing as we have grown so much as a group. Now although we haven’t gone here in years it still does have a special place in my heart. Embers was the first place I really ever went out, I had actually gone here 3 times sat in my car for an hour and then left, the 4th time I was getting ready to leave when another t-girl walked by and tapped on my car window and asked if I was going in and I did her name was Lori and she was the first person I had ever met that was transgender. That night really changed my life as for the first time I felt I wasn’t the only one like this. This is also where I met Alice, my first real friend in the transgender community. She would e-mail me when she came to Portland and I would go meet her at Embers. I so looked forward to when she came to town as at this point I would not go out by myself and it took all I could do to walk into Embers even knowing she would be there. Alice doesn’t get out any more but I still think of her and how she helped me start going out. This is a picture of us from a long time ago.

Embers was the first place I went and that does make it sad that it closed, so many of our girls in the group this was where they got their start. We all have some fond memories from here and although we haven’t gone here for a while it is still kind of like home. I think that is why Cassandra and I and I am sure all the people who came here tonight are here. It is like going back to the home you grew up in.

We really did have some wonderful times here, it was every Friday night and sometimes on Saturday night, some of the girls came here Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. It was a safe place we could go and be ourselves even if we weren’t sure who we were at that point.

This is where I met Cassandra for the first time probably in 2007 and found out about the Rose City T-girls group she had. It was a great idea but I was still nervous and didn’t join till early 2008 but that was the best thing I did as I got to know more of the girls and that is where I really started to become the lady I am now with the help of my friends. Cassandra is one of my best friends now and knows almost as much about my male self as my female self. As a matter of fact, several of the girls in the group know almost as much about my male self as my female self.

Embers is where I met Jan & Lynn, Tereasa, Peggy, Barb, Rachael, Penelope and so many others and I am still friends with them today. This is a picture of Rachael, me, Penelope and Cassandra, we met them here at Embers and just hit it off. It is funny as we took so many pictures back then but that was also 3 computers ago and I am sure I have all the pictures just not sure where to find them. We came here for New Years a couple times, here is a picture from that, what cute hats we all have on.

I think we will all miss it as Embers really did shape our lives some and who we are. Below are a few more pictures I found from Embers all those years ago. I created my blog as a way to document my life and time as Susan and it is nice at times like this I can go back and remember some of the things I have done and the people I have met. Now I am not saying you should all do a blog but you should have some pictures and some notes to look back on what you did and the people who you met and had an impact on your life. We only stayed here till about 9:30 as I had to get up early in the morning. On the way out, we talked with David more and also ran into Jim. He use to come out with us all the time at Embers but when our group left and went else where we lost touch with him. It was great to see him again. It was a good night but a little sad.

Thanks for reading and keep up with me on my most recent blog.

Cassandra an I at the pool table

December 2, 2017 Posted by | Dinner out, Embers | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Fun Friday at Embers

Well I made it out again on Friday night. The first Friday of the month is what our group calls fun Friday and is a night for you to try a new or different look. It can be anything from different hair style or makeup to a complete new look, wild to sexy. It is a lot of fun, so tonight I made an attempt to recreate the look Chiffon did for me at the t-girl pageant, you can see my picture on my flickr page and is right next to the picture from the pageant. I guess it has been a while sense I uploaded a picture. I really focused on the eyes as I think that is the hardest part. I came close but still need more practice, and it also took longer to do my makeup than normal so I was a little late and by the time I got to Embers but I bet there were 10 girls already there.

There is still a little tension between our group and Embers but I think it is getting better. We had a really good group as there were 8 of us that sat down and watched the show and probably 10 up at the pool table playing pool. It was so nice to have a big group out again. I think during the summer people get busy and don’t come out as much.

Amy showed up in boy mode and several of the girls did not recognize her, I did but I think hearing her voice helped. Half way through the night she went out and changed into her girl clothes and came back in. boy I remember years ago when I would change in my car because I had some roommates which made it impossible to get dressed at home. I got pretty good at it to but so much nicer now that I can get all pretty at home and then go out.

Peggy was also there which was nice as I have not seen her in about 6 weeks or more. It was nice to get a chance to sit and talk with her before the show started. Her friend Julie was also going to come out tonight but never made it which was a shame as I think it has been sense May sense I saw her last.

Maya was also there which is nice as she is always fun and being our schedules are opposite she is usually out on Saturday or Wednesday while I am out on Fridays. She use to be part of our Friday night group which last winter was the night with the most t-girls out and I am hoping that as we move into fall Friday nights will again become our groups big night again.

Cassandra was also there as she is the one person you can count on being out all the time as she is our group leader and brought us all together. She founder our group “the Rose City T-girls” and in less than a 3 year time she has grown our group to 161 members of which most are active in the group and I would say 40% get out on a regular basis which is really good. She has a talent for this kind of thing.

The show was good and there were some new things in it. One of the Drag Queens (Topaz) that left last fall is back from Texas and performing again which was nice to see as she was really good. Chiffon is still there and does an awesome job and I am not just saying that because she helped me during the pageant and did my makeup. She always looks like she is having so much fun on the stage, some of the Drag Queens are really good performers but they just don’t look like they are enjoying themselves. I think if you really enjoy what you are doing it shows and gives you that little edge. They had some new songs; it may just be more noticeable as we are not going to Embers every week.

The crowed was pretty small most of the night but there was about an hour that they had a good crowd. The show at one point got a little, well more sexual than I thought was expectable as they brought a couple guys up on stage and had them take their shirts off which is fine but then they had one moon the crowd and were touching the other one. People do strange things when they drink too much. At one point the manager came down and told one of the Drag Queens to tone it down which I thought showed some good judgment on his part.

It was a fun night and most of us stayed till 1:30. We were just leaving when the show ended so it was another late night for this girl. Have a great week and stay pretty all.

Oh one last note, Cassandra & Peggy are once again opening their home to our group for a Halloween party. It was so much fun last year and I am already looking forward to it. They are so great to do this, you two really are awesome. Now I have to come up with a costume for the party and only have 7 weeks. Any ideas please let me know, but it must be cute or sexy.

September 4, 2010 Posted by | Embers, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Back at Embers

Well I made it out on Friday after a really busy and long day. I wasn’t even sure I would make it out which would have been sad. I was running late so I had to hurry and get Susan ready something I hate as I really enjoy and it relaxes me to get Susan ready. I think the time getting all pretty is almost as much fun as being Susan. Having to rush so much was a little more stressful and relieving my stress is one of the best things about Susan. Anyway it was all good and I got to Embers only a little later than I usually do. I wasn’t too sure how many would be there other than Cassandra as her and I were the only two who posted in our group we would be there. I was glad to see we had a really good turnout and I bet we had 15 t-girls there; some were our regulars and some who come out a little less frequent do to other things in their lives so it was good to see them.

Embers was not real busy I think we had almost as many up at the pool table area as they did down watching the show. Jamie was here and I have only met her once or twice so I had a good chance to talk to her as it has been month’s sense she has been out on the same night as I. it was nice to catch up and get to know her better. Her wife Linda even stopped in for a while so I got to meet her for the first time. They have been out together before but it was a night Susan couldn’t make it. It is so cool her wife is so supportive of her being Jamie, we really do have some very supportive wives in our group and I hope they all know how special they are.

Maya was also there and it was so nice to see her. She has had a lot going on in her life so she has not been out as much, she use to be one of our every Friday night girls so I really enjoyed seeing her again and getting a chance to talk to her. I hope she can get out more on Friday nights with us again. Got to talk to Cassandra a bit and hear about her and Peggy’s vacation. Seems they had a great time and some good stories so I am still waiting for her to post some of the pictures as it seems they had some interesting obstacles pop up.

Jan and Lynn were also here and we got a chance to talk. Two weeks ago we ran into each other out in public (Jan and I were both in boy mode). I have seen Jan in boy mode but they have never seen me that way and I don’t know why but I went up and talked to them so they have not seen Susan looking unfeminine. I have made some really good friends in the group and as such feel so comfortable with them that I am becoming more willing to open my whole life. It started with Cassandra & Peggy when we went to Diva Las Vegas and they met the boy side of me. They are truly awesome friends and more like family (Sisters) and as time go by I am feeling that way about more of the group. This group is really more family then just friends and has made a world of difference for Susan. Two years ago I would have said I would never share both side of me with people but things change and we all grow. I hope everyone in the group and those I have met along the way know how much they mean to me. Oops I got a little carried away.

I played some pool and won the first 3 games in a row before losing, in all it was a good night as I won 4 and lost 3 so I had a better win record than loss which for me is really good. I almost stopped when I had won the first 3 just so I could say I played and never lost but it was a really fun night.

The show was good and they had a few new performers which is nice as it was something new and some of the drag queens even had some new songs. Chiffon did a couple new songs and she is really good. She was the one who did my makeup for the T-girl pageant and did an awesome job. I think she is one of the best if not the best performers as she always looks like she is having so much fun on stage.

We left about 1 am before the show was over but it was a fun night and nice to be back at Embers. We have had some issues there but you can have that anyplace you go so like anything you have to look at all things and see if the issues are more than the positive. If there are still enough positive reasons to go than you should and I think we will still be going to Embers from time to time but we still plan on rotating to the different places as change is good and one does not get board or into a routine as that is a sure way of losing interest. Any way have a great week and I will post again soon.

August 21, 2010 Posted by | Embers, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments


%d bloggers like this: