Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Wednesday night zoom meeting

It is the last Wednesday of April and it is hard to believe things have been shut down for over 6 weeks. I had to look back in my blog but our last Wednesday night dinner where we could get together in person was March 15 at Southland Whisky Kitchen, it seems so long ago. Life has really changed lately, and I think it will be a while till we get back to normal, but we will. Any way this will be our 3rd week getting together online for a video chat so we can talk and see each other, and it really has helped I think as we are all social distancing and limiting time with other people. Jennifer scheduled tonight’s as she got the time limit waved. We use the free one which only gives you 40 minutes at a time. I got home a little late, so I did not have as much time but still enough to enjoy getting ready. It was about 6:40 when I was all ready and in front of my computer. Now I just watched a little TV till it was 7 and logged on. I did get one picture tonight of course.

Some of the girls were already on and with in a few minutes we were all logged on, we had 7 of us tonight. Jennifer, Julie, Danika, Melissa, Christie, Tina and of course myself. Our first week we had 8, last week we had, last week we had 10 so we are getting pretty good turnout for these video meetings. I think we are all glad to be able to spend some time together any way we can. Now only one person can talk at a time, but everyone is good about letting everyone have a turn and encouraging everyone to be part of it. We talked about a lot of things one of which was how we deal with body hair and we all have our own ways. Some shave, some wax and some like me use an epilator, I use the Braun epilator and love it. Yes the first time or two it is a little painful but if you take a long hot bath first it is not bad and once you use it for a while you almost can’t feel it any more and the hair grows back finer and softer. I have used on my legs for years and real if I went weeks without using it probably the only place you might notice it would be on my knees. It is nice to have conversations like this as we can all find little tips and other ideas.

We also talked about our group and how we can make it better and get more involved. We actually have 274 members in our group and I would say maybe 60 to 80 of them have come out with the group and probably 40 or less come out a few times a year so we really want to try and help the others feel comfortable going out. Danika was a member of the River City Gems in Sacramento. I think they are a bigger group and have bigger events but our group I think has more of them as we pretty much were doing a Wednesday night dinner every week and also the Escape on Saturdays. What they do different is to be a full member you pay some each year and they use that money to set up some bigger dinner event of course that takes a lot of work for a few people and I am not sure how that would work here. We have done a few big events like City Grill,
Morton’s Steak House, Benihana’s, Dinner Cruise on the Portland Spirit, and of course many Halloween Parties that Cassandra and Peggy opened their home for us to have a party at and the Christmas Parties that Julie and Trixie opened their homes for us to get together so we have had some big event that required some girls to step up and take on a lot of work to make happen I hope the know how much we all appreciated it. But this were spread out over a few years to do that a several times a year would be hard. we are still thinking about it though as we really would like to get more girls involved.

We talked a little about Diva Las Vegas which is tentatively rescheduled for the last week of October. I am not sure I can make that, but Cassandra and I are planning on going the middle of April and I am hoping to get several of the girls from our group to go. Once they open back up and we can really start planning it I am going to try to keep it posted in our group. We also talked about some of the other Transgender events around the country. I have herd about them, but Diva Las Vegas is the only one I have gone to though so maybe I should think about going to anther one just to see. Wow when I look back on all the things I have done as Susan and then look back 15 to 210 years just trying to get out for a late-night drive it really is amazing where I am today.

We even talked about Victoria Sinclair and her Over the Rainbow Transformations, I have never used her service only because by the time I found out about it I was already going out but had I heard about it 30 years ago maybe I would have started going out earlier. But then I may not have met some of the people I did and might not have the wonderful friends I do not, so it all worked out right for me. Victoria is a really nice supportive person though if you are looking to get out for that first time of your first-time dressing. It is kind of fun to look back on your journey, the pictures and my blog and see what all I have done and achieved. Oh and lets not forget the P-Club, several of us testified against them for discrimination and all the meetings we had with our attorney and the and investigators from the State of Oregon. I really have achieved a lot as Susan over the last 10 years. It has been wonderful and the next 10 can only be better. Again, I would encourage everyone to get some pictures and write some of the things in your life down even if it is just for you. So many of these things I forgot about till I started going back through my blog and pictures. 8 trips to Las Vegas living fully as Susan for the trips. So many wonderful memories with so many wonderful friends. Wow got lost down memory lane.

Well the night went by so fast and soon it was after 9 and we called it a night. Thanks, Jennifer, for setting this one up this week. We will be doing this again as I think for the foreseeable future this will be how we get together. Now it is time to look forward to this weekend and another 2 days as Susan.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life, stay safe, healthy, positive and happy.


April 30, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday as Susan at home

It is Sunday morning and I will once again spend the day as Susan. now a little not from Last night as I was getting ready for bed I changed my earrings back to my gold studs and I was looking at my hoops, not only is the post a little curved but it is a little bigger and not perfectly round either probably why they feel different as you can kind of see in the picture, but they are really cute though. I can’t wait till I can get some more; I have been looking at some gold hoops just a little bit bigger and also some dangly ones. But on the bright side they came out easy and didn’t hurt and actually during the day when I flipped my hair or shook me head it didn’t hurt as much as last week. I also had a lot easier time getting the backs on also. Any way I took my nail polish off and ran the stuff over to drop off for my Mom and came home and started getting ready a little after 9.

Now I took my time and enjoyed the time transforming myself to Susan. I really do enjoy this part. Also on a side note my Friday night blog which I posted which I wrote a little about who I am and how I feel got featured as the featured blog on both Saturday and still on Sunday, it is one of the blog posting sights I follow. Well I spent a couple hours getting ready even did my false eyelashes today, so it was a little after 11 when I was dressed and went downstairs. Now I have some laundry to do and also a little light house cleaning so that is on my list today along with a little work I need to do online but most of the day will be watching TV. Today I am going to watch Highlander Season 1, yes, I love this show and have all 6 seasons. I watched 1 episode and then went to Taco Bell to get lunch. I got home and sat on my deck eating and doing a little work on m computer. It is a little cooler out today but ass long as the sun was out it was nice but unfortunately the sun only stayed out about 30 minutes, so it was back inside. These really are boring days but at least being Susan makes it better.

I did my laundry and the work I had to do and then got back to watching my TV. In a way it is funny how fast the weekend goes by even when you are not doing anything. Around 3 my Mom called and so we talked for a while she is having a hard time with the shutdown as it has been over 6 weeks since I have been able to go see her. the sun was out so I sat on the deck while we talked and got some sunshine. Now I usually stand or walk when I do this, but the neighbor lady was also standing on her deck on the phone close to the fence, so I sat down. Even sitting down, I could see her face so I am sure if she looked my way, she could see mine if she looked towards me. She went back inside after about 10 minutes and I finished my call about 10 minutes later and then I went back inside. Looking at my pictures today I think I look better as I have less makeup on and a lighter shade as I didn’t do the heavy contouring I did yesterday so I am not sure about the contouring. I may have to play with it more but for now that will be something when I am just at home. I think a lighter shade of foundation just looks better on me. The fun of trying different looks. Well I did 4 loads of laundry today and some cleaning and yes today I had my heels on as I was pretty much just at home. the last loads were for my bed so yes, I made my bed as Susan in heels. It was a little challenging as my hair kept getting in my face also. Being a French maid would be really hard work.

It was about 6 and I had everything done I needed to do, and I had just finished another episode of Highlander, so I took a break and drove down to Jack in the Box to get dinner. I make my dinners all week and as going to fast food is really the only outing Susan can get that is how I eat o the weekend. They were a little busy as there were 6 cars in front of me, so it took a little time. I guess a lot of people wanted to get out for dinner as by the time I got to the window to get mine there was a line behind me going around the building. I got home and ate my dinner as I started watching another episode, I won’t get through season 1 today but I am sure I will have next weekend also at home to watch more. I will start getting ready for bed around 9 and change back to my male self for work tomorrow but I am already looking forward to Wednesday night when Jennifer has already scheduled a zoom meeting for our group at 7 and I will once again be able to see and talk with some of my friends for a couple hours. Not the same as our Wednesday night dinners out in person but with what’s going on right now this is the best we can do and probably the safest. Hopefully soon this will change, and we can once again start going out. I will also spend next weekend as Susan. I am getting a lot of Susan time right now just at home.

It has been a fun weekend and I have enjoyed my Susan time, by the way my Friday night blog on was switched out about 5pm tonight to another blogger. Stay safe and positive and know things will get back to normal at some point. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 26, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday and the start of 2 days as Susan

I got up Saturday morning around 8 to start my weekend of being Susan something I look forward to as I cannot really go out because of the Coronavirus. Now before I started getting ready I had breakfast and wrote my blog from Friday evening and it was more about how I feel as Susan and how I view this part of my life. It was after 9 when I started getting ready and I could hear the rain outside, it will be a rainy weekend at home. I took my time getting ready as I wanted to really try to contour my face. Over the last few weeks, I have been trying different looks, styles of makeup and last night I watched several videos on YouTube on how to contour your face to make it look more feminine. Now I do this a little but today I was going all in. it took a little more work blending it then what the woman in the videos did but then I am sure they have done this many time. It was about 11 when I was all read. My makeup was not as dramatic more of a daytime look well except for the lips stick which I went for a bright red as I will be at home. I also put in my silver hoop earrings, the right one slid in really easy but had a little trouble with the left and I think it was the fast the post in these have a slight curve to them. I wore my marron top, black tights and a black skirt for the day. I also got my picture at the bottom of the stairs and also one out on the deck. To my surprise it was sunny and warm out by now.

Now it is suppose to rain today but right now it is nice so I decided I would go visit my Dad’s grave as it has been a few weeks and that is outside and away from people so a perfect place to go. I was on my way about 11:20 and as I got closer it got dark and started to rain but it looked like a passing cloud, so I kept going. I could see some dark clouds coming in, so I did not stop at Fred Meyers for flowers today. I got to the cemetery and there were a couple people sitting only 2 graves away from my dad. I have seen them here before, so I did not stop instead I went to the directory and looked up my neighbor who passed away in December. I have lived across the street from him for 27 years and as I have said before although I never told him about this side of my life I am sure he new as he had seen me come and go many times. Any way I stopped briefly at his grave I guess to officially introduce Susan to him. I did not stay here long as it was just to pass a little time and see if the other people left. You see I have talked to them before when I was there with my Mom and I would say every other time I take my Mom there they are also there.

Well by now they had left so I went and visited my Dad for about 20 minutes or so. I was going to stay longer but it started to rain, yes, I had taken my umbrella. I got back to my car and as I go by Costco I stopped for some gas. The man who took my card never said a thing and treated me like everyone else. When my car was full I heard this really peppy energetic voice say looks like your full would you like a receipt which I said yes. This young girl I am guess maybe 20, with her mask on it was hard to tell but as she handed me my receipt she looked at me and said wow I just love your makeup which I thanked her for saying and also complimented her on her eye makeup. She had perfect brows and a combination of yellowish gold and orangish eye shadow and perfect winged eyeliner and of course false eye lashes. Any way I had to wait for the car in front of me to move so we chatted briefly which was nice. I left here and made a quick stop at Burger Kings drive through and ate on the way home as I want to go to Panda Express tonight for dinner, but I needed something small like a cheeseburger and small coke.

I got home about 1:30 and it was still nice and sunny out, so I sat out on my deck for a while and started this blog and enjoyed the sunshine. I could hear and see the tops of my neighbors head behind my house so I am sure if they looked my way they could see the top of my head but I didn’t care as it was nice out and I wanted to enjoy the fresh air. It was about 2:30 when I went back inside to watch a little TV. For the rest of the day. I recorded several episodes of Ancient Aliens last night and that will be what I watch today, not that I believe this, but it is interesting and is a possibility as I like to keep an open mind on things. I did get a lot of pictures today some good and some well less than good, but I wanted to see how the contouring looked, my earring and nails.

About 5:30 I drove down to Panda Express by my house and got dinner. this one has no drive through, so you order at one door and then go around to other door and wait for your food. there was no one at the door you order but 4 people waiting for their food, so I stood in line with them to wait for mine. I have gone here many times over the years as my male self but only a few the last few weeks as Susan which is a big step for me as I usually don’t go to the same places both as my male and female selves. I got home and ate my dinner and started watching the movie “Shooter”.

Well a little after 6 my mom called me, and she needs some stuff, so I was off to Fred Meyers to pick it up. now yes, I forgot about the bright red lipstick, I was in and out as quick as I could and back home to finish watching my movie. I will drop it off for her first thing in tomorrow morning before I become Susan for the day. Of course, that means I will have to remove my nail polish as I cannot hind my hands when I hand them the stuff for my mom. Well I can keep them till the morning. I watched my movie and then finished this blog. Now I will finish the night watching the Bionic Woman and then go to bed. It has been a fun day and I am looking forward to Sunday and one more day as Susan before going back to work.

The last picture if from the Cemetery earlier and it was a little windy, but I thought I would include it anyway.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 25, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Friday night Susan time, and who I am

I got home a little early, so I decided to do a quick job dressing up, simple makeup and a dress and then paint my nails. That was the goal for the evening and then I got thinking about why I do this and who I am and thought would try and explain it in my blog, not that I need to explain, but I know some girls out there are struggling with this like I did for many year. Now this is my view only and how my life relates to me and in no way means every trans person feels this way. I tell girls who are just starting to go out to take the time to figure out who they are and how they feel and do not just assume how I or anyone else feels are correct for them.

So simply put to most people I am a crossdresser, a man who likes to wear woman’s clothes and that is true I guess but it is more then that. My personality is softer, gentler, more caring then what I would say the average male is. I like pretty things and colors, I like to look pretty and smell pretty and I am more comfortable in what most would call the feminine roll. I can get teary eyed in sad or emotional movies and I like to watch them, I like it when people think or tell me I look pretty. I like the long hair, jewelry, clothes and yes, the makeup and nails. Now some people get this confused with sexual preference and those are 2 completely different things and all I will say on that is how I present is mostly also what I am attracted to. I am not at all attracted to men, big, muscular, hairy men. Even for woman I am attracted to the softer feminine shape, even muscular woman I am not attracted to, nothing wrong with that just my preference. For me when I see a woman the first thing, I notice are their nails and makeup. If they have long pretty nails and makeup especially red lipstick, they are beautiful and nothing else matters, size, shape, age or nationality. Part of my dressing is to create what I find attractive, yes dresses, heels and long hair are also a plus.

Now on to me, so yes, I consider myself as transgender as it is way more then just the simple act of wearing something feminine or dressing up it is about presenting as a female and feeling feminine. Where I differ from some girl is I don’t feel my body is wrong or I should have been born female and the reason I feel this way as when I am my male self I don’t feel wrong or think about why I am not female. Now that may be overly simplistic, and I do not want to offend others who feel they need to transition as that is how they feel. I would like to say I understand how they feel and I can support them and try to understand but without these feelings myself I can never truly understand their feelings, I can only imagine how I would feel and I am sure that does not come close to the full feeling they have.

Now that being said there are some common things we share. As I said I hate hairy men and that goes for me also, I hate my body hair and I have done everything I can. Years ago I bought an epilator, actually I just got a new one as I wore my old one out and I use it on my body, started with just my legs and saw how well it worked and moved on to my arms, chest, stomach and lower back yes every place I could reach. The good thing is my legs the hair is so fine and sparse that you really cannot tell even if I go a few weeks and my arms and chest are getting that way also. Yes, if I could remove all my body hair easily I would, and I know there are ways but the cost and effort to me are just too high. I also got my ears pierced recently but there are a lot of men with pierced ears. I did for a while have short thin acrylic nails and I am sure people noticed but yes I will admit I really want to have long pretty nails all the time and if men would not be judged for this I would have them. I think about growing my hair out and don’t get me wrong having long pretty hair would be great but there is also something to be able to change the length, style and color of my hair as simply as putting on a wig so I am torn about the hair. Yes, I would love the softer smoother skin woman have and with hormones I could get that but there are also a lot of other things that come with the hormones I am not sure of or want. Now that is my normal life view.

Now when I am Susan yes I would love real breast, I would also love the narrower waist and wider hips that hormones would give me but what do I do when I am not Susan and sense I don’ want to live full time if I did this then when I am not Susan I would have to hide it in other words cross-dress back to a man. I would also love the smooth front (not having to tuck) but this is not about getting rid of that part of my body but hiding it. Yes when I am Susan I do wish I was completely female as that is the goal of what I am trying for when I dress and I know I will never completely achieve it as I am but that is okay with me. As I said it took me many years of struggling with this to understand who I am and how this fits in my life and there are some key people who helped me. Alice the first real friend I had and who helped me get out and feel comfortable the first few times I went out. Cassandra the girls who started our group and made weekly outings possible and helped us go beyond just going to LGBTQ bars and out into the real world. Peggy her wife who was the first non-trans person Susan got to know and who totally accepted me for who I am, we still go shopping occasionally. Julie who is so supportive and looks at things similar to how I do. Mellissa who is now living full time as Melissa and is out to everyone but still supports all trans people no matter where they fit in the spectrum, Jan and Lynn who are a great couple and Lynn is so supportive of Jan and the rest of us and there are so many more and I hope they don’t feel left out but these girls I have know for years and to say they are my best friends is not enough they really are more like family and that is the best blessing I have gotten from my journey.

Now no one knows for sure how anything will turn out or where our lives will be in the future. What I can say about myself is I will never transition, (have surgeries to change who I am). I do think occasionally about hormones but I really doubt I would take them if I even thought about it, it would probably be just short term just to soften and smooth my skin but I am not sure that is possible. Now later in life I am guessing I will spend more time as Susan, not full time but a greater amount of my time. I think a way to look at the difference is what if you won the lottery 100 million dollars what would you do. Most transsexuals Surgery would be close to the top if not the top thing. For me I would live more as Susan, and yes as I would not have to care what others thought or worry about a job I would have long pretty acrylic nails and I may look into electrolysis. Yes, I would probably come out to most everyone as I would spend most of my time as Susan and they would need to know but that would be it.

Simply put it took me a long time to get to this point in my life and to understand who Susan is and how she fits in my life and to accept her and be okay with who I am and it does have a lot to do with the people mentioned above. I have to say I have a pretty wonderful life right now because of being able to bring all parts of who I am together. I encourage all of you to find out for yourself who you are and how your life fits together. If that means therapy get it, talking to people do it, whatever it takes to be happy with yourself because only you can make your life happy and worth while. Be true to yourself.

These are my thoughts and how I feel only, and I am by no means an expert, but this is something I have wanted to write for a while. Now it is time to get ready for my Saturday as Susan. thanks for reding and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

April 25, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, Thoughts on Crossdressing, why crossdress | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

Wednesday night video chat with friends

Well it is another Wednesday night and I have scheduled a Wednesday night video chat with my friends on Zoom. We did it last week and had a lot of fun and it is kind of a way to keep in touch while we cannot get together in person as you can see and talk with each other. They have different plans and the free plan gives you 40 minutes free per meeting if you have 3 or more, unlimited 1 to 1. Now I got home and started getting ready as I wanted to take my time. Now I dress a lot I think I try to be Susan 2 to 3 times a week and the last moth I have spent the whole weekends as Susan and one of the questions I get asked a lot is about shaving that often ad shaving my face close and does it irritate my skin. Through trial and error, I have found what works for me and a lot depends on how long I will be Susan, for short periods of time I do not do this but more for full days. So here is what I do and what you need.

I actually use and electric razor, 2 good quality razers (I use Mach 3) and shave cream. Now before I start, I put the shave cream in a cup of hot water to heat it up. now I start off with the electric razor and go quickly over my face not shaving to close just to trim the ends and then I wash my face with really warm soapy water. Then it is into the shower where I wash and also put conditioner on my face to soften the hairs. I shave again with the hair in the shower with the conditioner and then wash my face again with soap and then just before I get out, I put a little more conditioner on my face. Now it is to the sink where I use the warm shave cream over the conditioner on my face and shave against the hairs. Now I wash one last time with cold water, this tightens the skin then if you want you can do one more quick shave. If I do that, I can usually get 12 to 14 hours, if I don’t do the last cold shave, I can get 10 to 12 hours. Now you do want to use an astringent on your face after and a moisturizer as this cut down on the chance of ingrown hairs. Now on my 2 razers for the last shave I only use the blade 4 time then I move it to the shower where I use it a few more times for the first shave and that razer gets a new blade and moves to my final shave razer. Any way this is what works for me the key is to make sure your facial hair gets really saturated with water. Well I was ready by about 6:15 so I made a quick trip to Jack in the Box and got dinner and came home to eat before our video chat. I did get a few pictures tonight.

I started our video chat right at 7 and there was a line of girls ready to join so by 7:05 we had 10 of us online. Jennifer, Julie, Tina, Christie, Danika, Jan & Lynn, Melissa, and Nicole joined me, which was awesome, it really was a good turnout. It really is nice to be able to talk and see each other as it makes you feel like you are still connected. Now the one bad thing is only one can talk at a time, so we all took turns and we talked ab out a lot of things including pierced ears. Tina would like to get hers pierced and I told her she should as really it was not a big deal. My ears have been pierced for over 4 weeks now and only 1 male and 8 female co-workers said anything and all it was, was “did you get your ears pierced”? which I just told them it was something I have always wanted to do and 4 of them followed it up with telling me it looked good on me. Now I am not saying no one else noticed but that was all that was said. I still understand what she is thinking though as I have wanted to do this for probably 6 to 8 years and couldn’t get pass what people would say, fear can be a big thing to overcome. We also talked about telling family and when and if and what can happen and will they accept it and a lot more. Both were really good topics and got a lot of good ideas and thoughts. Melissa came out to her mom right before Christmas and it went so well, she has come out at work and is now Melissa full time and it is going well for her, so she had a lot of firsthand knowledge for us.

Now at 30 minutes I got a message my meeting would end 10 10 minutes so Jennifer said she would set up another meeting for 7:40 and I set one up for 8:30 so we could keep going. Well this week they did not extend my meeting and with no warning and right in the middle of Julies talking the meeting ended so we all quickly well a few a little longer logged onto Jennifer’s meeting for the next 40 minutes. It really was a fun night and it went by so fast and being Jennifer’s first meeting, they extended hers past the 40 minutes, so we never had to go to the one I set up. We talked online till after 9 before we started losing girls and by 9:15 we ended the meeting for the night. Now this is our second group video meeting and both had good turnouts, last week we had 9 so I hope this continues. Now when Jennifer ended her meeting she got a message if she scheduled another one they would wave the 40 minutes so she has already set one up for next Wednesday night which she will post in the group probably on Sunday so I am looking forward to that. I am also looking forward to spending the weekend as Susan. I have some things to do Friday after work so it will be just Saturday and Sunday but will be all day long.

I hope you are all doing well and keeping safe and please keep in touch with family and friends even if just online. This can be a really trying time right now and we all need a little support. We will get through this and life will go back to normal.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what I am doing now as Susan.


April 23, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Sunday Susan time at home mostly but a really fun day

It is Sunday and with the us still under the shutdown because of the Virus it will be mostly at home although I will go get some fast food for dinner tonight and watch some movies today and maybe do a little work online, at least that was my plan when I got up this morning. I got up at 8 to start my day, as I said yesterday there is something special about starting the day as Susan instead of transitioning into it later in the day. It just seems more natural. I took my time getting ready and did a really good job on my eyes I thought. Now yesterday I wore my hoop earrings and I loved them but today I am going to stay with the little stud I have. By the way it took me forever last night to get those little tiny backs on the studs when I put them back in of course it was my first time. Any way on my eyes I tried more browns to get a less dramatic look one that is more a daytime look and I think I did a good job of course I did do my false eyelashes. I also tried something new on my lips I didn’t take them out as far on the corners and made them a little rounder looking which actually made my mouth look a little smaller in all I was really happy with the way my makeup turned out today. It was just before 10 and I was all ready for my day at home as Susan of course there would be pictures. I wore my black skirt, with my black silver top and of course heels for today.

I went downstairs and got some pictures and started watching TV. The day was off to a good start. Now as I have said sitting at home as Susan is not something I look forward to as I really want to go out as Susan. well a little before 11 my Mom called me; she calls several times a day as she is having a hard time being stuck in her room. I can’t even go over and see her as only essential people are allowed into the assisted living, she is in so it has been over a months since we have seen each other, one of the reasons I got my ears pierced. Well we talked for a little while but the reason she called is she is out of a few things, normally I keep track of the things she needs and get them for her but not being able to go over there has made this hard. any way I need to run to Costco and get some stuff for her today which is both good and bad. I can go as Susan to get the stuff but not to drop the stuff off for her. I decided to do it now so I could spend the end of the day as Susan. Of course, I would have to change as going to Costco in a skirt with heels would be a little much. I quickly changed and yes, I wore what I wore yesterday as it was still laid out and I was on my way to Costco.

I got to Costco and parked pretty close as they did not look that busy for Sunday right before noon, I got a couple quick pictures before getting out of my car and going in. I got my cart and was off to get the 3 things my Mom needed; they are way cheaper here at Costco. It didn’t take long and I was soon at the checkout and as this Costco has some self-checkouts and I only had 3 items that was where I went, and I was able to walk right up without waiting in line. I stopped and also got a hot dog and drink on the way out and the line for this was long, it probably took me longer to get the hot dog then it did to go in get my Moms stuff and go through the checkout. Now it was out to the car and a quick stop for gas and I was on my way home to change to my male self to take the stuff over and drop off for my Mom. Now on the way home I was thinking I needed to make sure I washed all the makeup off just to run over and drop off the things for my mom and then back home to redo my makeup so I could be Susan the rest of the day. Well the sun was out, and I put my sunglasses on as I drove. I was almost home and sitting at a stop light and I looked in the mirror and noticed the sunglasses pretty much covered my eyes and I got thinking. I have the face mask I wear at work which covers most of the lower part of my face and a wild idea came in my head. Could I do this without removing my makeup, I can’t go into the building just hand them the stuff for my Mom through the door.

I got home and went to my bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. I put the face mask on and yes it did cover my whole lower face, next the sun glasses and it hid my eye makeup maybe about all you could see was the very tops of my eye brows and a little of the side of my face by my eyes. Now another benefit of the shutdown is I have not been able to get a hair cut and my hair is a little long right now and actually comes down on my eyebrows so I stood there looking in the mirror telling myself no one would be able to tell like this. I quickly changed into my male clothes and went down and got in my car. As I left my house, I wondered about what I was doing but looking in the rear-view mirror I could not really see any traces of makeup. So I called over to where my mom is and talked to the girl at the front desk and told her who I was and I would be there in a couple minutes to drop some stuff off for my mom and gave her my moms name as with the mask and the sunglasses she probably wouldn’t know who I was and I didn’t want to have to take any of it off while I was there. I pulled up in front and as I was getting the stuff out of the trunk she came to the door. We talked briefly and I gave her the stuff for my mom and then left as I really did want to get out of there as quickly as possible. I don’t think she noticed anything and if she did it would probably have been my earrings anyway. I got back home and relaxed for a few minutes before putting on Susan’s cloths again and then I went and sat on my deck for a while and started this blog.

It was about 2:30 when I went inside and started watching a movie. I watched a couple movies, From Russia with love and You only live twice, yes, I am finishing my James Bond weekend. A little after 6 I drove to Jack in the Box and got dinner and then came back home and will watch one more James Bond Movie Thunderball to finish the night. I also did a little laundry today; it was a good day. I will go to bed by 10 tonight as I go back to work tomorrow. I may try to do a Wednesday night Zoom meeting again if I can so I can see my friends again.

Stay safe and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 19, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday and a full day as Susan at home

Well the weekend is here again and that means being Susan for the next couple days. Now I was going to start when I got home Friday night, but I had a few things to do so my Susan time will start today. I got up about 8 and started getting ready, now I really enjoy my time getting ready as Susan but there is something extra special getting ready in the morning. Getting up in the morning and getting ready as Susan just makes it natural starting the day off this way as it is like truly being female. Now don’t get me wrong I do not want to transition and still like how I live my life, part male and part female but from the Susan side this is a perfect way to be. I took my time getting ready and it was a little after 10 when I was all ready and looking pretty. Now being all ready there was one last thing today, my earrings. Today it has been 3 weeks and 5 days since I got them pierced and the lady who pierced them told me not to change them for 3 to 4 weeks, so I am going to try my new earrings.

Now pierced ears are a new thing for me so we will see how it goes. It was a little hard getting a good grip on the studs and pulling the backs off without twisting my earlobe but I got the first one out and now it was time for my new earring, they are small little hoops. Now I was worried about putting the new ones in without hurting my ears but the antiseptic spray I got when I had my ears pierced has done a really good job and the one thing I noticed is when I use it the earrings turn really easy in my ear so it kind of lubricates it and I was hoping that would make them slide in easier. I sprayed it on my ears and yes it slid in really easy just a little tenderness but that could be the fact the post has a slight curve to it, not straight but the first one was in and now the second was in and they looked really cute. I am really happy with having pierced ears.

It was now downstairs to start my day as Susan and a couple of pictures to start the day, I tried to pull my hair back enough to see the earrings. Now it is a little cold out and rainy, so I won’t be out on my deck today except for maybe a quick trip for pictures. Now these earrings I can tell are in as they are a little heavier and when I move my head I can feel them move when I move my head especially if it is a quick movement or a really big movement like shaking my head and yes there is just a little tenderness. I guess it will take a little longer to heal completely but as long as I am carful, I can change my earrings and they do look nice and make a complete look.

Now I did have to make a quick trip to Fred Meyers as there are a couple things I need and yes Susan just wants to go out even if briefly, I need some milk, bread and a couple other things. I did park by the garden center as that is the less busy part of the store and it will be easier to social distance this way. I did get a quick picture in the car before going in shopping, yes, I am trying to show off my earrings. I was only here about 15 minutes as I said I only needed a couple things.

I got home about 12:00 and made lunch, a sandwich and started my day of watching movies. Today is going to be another day of James Bond. I started with the Spy who loved me, then the Man with the Golden Gun and then Diamonds are forever. Yes, I am a Bond Girl although I like the original ones better than the newer was about 6 when I got done with these movies and decided to go get dinner at Panda Express and yes I went to the one by my house, I go to this one all the time as my male self but last weekend was the first time as Susan. it is a little different as you can’t go in and they don’t have a drive through, so you order at the one door and then walk around the side of the building to the other door to pick up. I am trying to support the places I go for takeout during these times. Now they were actually busy as there were 4 people waiting to pick up and 5 ahead of me waiting to order so I got in line. I placed my order and went around to wait for mine to be busy and several of the people were talking even though they were 6 feet apart and I even got in the conversation. It was really nice, and I almost forgot about how I was dressed I was just another person waiting for her meal. I am actually lucky as I am still working and for me nothing has changed at least as far as income, so I figure it is my way of helping out.

I got home with dinner and sat down to watch my next movie, Live and let die as I ate. Now I will say my earrings are taking a little getting used to and the reason is I have the habit of shaking my head a little to flip the hair out of my face and yes, I can feel the earrings when I do this and it is a little tender. I can just imagine if I really shook my head, so I guess I still have a little healing to go on them, but I am still so happy I got them pierced. I know they will get better as I have seen some woman with huge heavy earrings so they must heal to the point you can wear them although I probably won’t go that big but I can see me spending money and getting a good collection of styles.

The next movie I will watch is for your eyes only, it was a quiet day mostly at home but still fun as I was Susan. It would be so much mire fun to be able to go out someplace and hang out with my friends in person but right now this is the best I can do. Now I m looking forward to tomorrow when I will once again spend the day as Susan. I hope all you my friends are taking care of yourselves and trying to keep your life as normal as possible in these trying times, we will get through this and things will get back to normal it may just take a while.

Have a wonderful weekend and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 18, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday night virtual get together with friend.

Well it is Wednesday, and I get to get together with my friends’ kind of. I scheduled a Zoom meeting and posted it to the group and several girls said they would try to be online tonight. I tested it last Saturday night when Melissa, Nicole and I chatted online for a couple hours using Zoom. It is video conferencing site so you can see and talk with each other, the only bad ting is only 1 person can talk at a time but right now it is the best we can do. We are living in difficult times right now, but it will get better and hopefully soon.

I got home from work and started getting ready. I really had extra time as I don’t have to go anywhere, just downstairs and turn on my computer so I took my time getting ready. Now getting dressed up for just a couple hours at home takes a little motivation. Till the last month I haven’t dressed just to stay at home in years, I always want to go out when I am Susan but I have been spending time at home but always for most of the day, tonight it will be just a couple hours but I am motivated as I will get to talk with and see some of my friends. I was all dressed and ready by 6:30 so it was just waiting till 7 when I would start the meeting.

It was 6:59 when I logged on and started the meeting and a few of the girls were already waiting. I had several girls e-mail they would be online tonight so it should be a lot of fun. Now I have the free account which gives me 40 minutes, but a couple other girls have accounts and they can start a meeting if we want to go longer. By 7:10 all the girls had logged on we had 8 tonight. Julie, Jennifer, Melissa, Tina, Christie, Nicole and Jeannie & Amy and everyone had the web cams on. It was almost like being in the same room and so good to see everyone. It was so awesome to see their smiling faces and hear their voices, you don’t realize how much you miss things like this. It was really nice to see some of the girls I have not seen in a while, I was looking forward to seen Julie in Las Vegas till it got canceled and now she will be back home in a couple weeks but doubt we will be going out for dinners that soon so it will be a while till we can get together in person. Some of us are planning on going to Las Vegas in September for a week and that will be fun and hopefully things will be ack to normal by then as I am thinking positive.

Now the good thing about getting together this way is everyone is involved in the conversation as really only one person can talk at a time, so we all took turns. It was fun and at the 40 minute time they extended our time so we didn’t get cut off which was nice, not sure if they are being less strict because of the virus or they just liked us but either way we kept chatting and we talked about a lot of different things. Now as always, the night went by way to fast and soon it was after 9, we had been online for over 2 hours and we started signing off for the night, thanks to all who joined me online tonight. It was sad to see the night come to an end. I think we will have to do this again till we can once again get together in person. It was only a couple hours, but it was worth it although I forgot to get a picture tonight.

Now I am looking forward to the weekend, yes it will be at home, but it will be as Susan. I will become Susan when I get home from work on Friday and stay Susan till, I go to bed Sunday night. I may not be able to really go out any place, but I will get so Susan time and may make a trip to the store. I am also thinking or trying my new earrings. Saturday will be 3 weeks and 5 days since I got my ears pierced and they seem fine. They don’t hurt, the earrings I have turn easy in my ears as far as I can tell they should be good but then I have never had pierced ears before. I guess the only way to know for sure is to try them and see how they feel. I don’t think the weather will be as nice this weekend, so I probably won’t be out on my deck.

I know we are all facing life differently right now so it is so important to do what you can to bring back some normalcy to your life. Do the things you like if you can even if you have to modify them such as my dressing at home. keep in touch with your friends and family if you can, any thing to stay positive as this will end and life will go back to the way it was. I promise I will get some more pictures this weekend. I am not sure if I will try new looks or just try to perfect the looks, I have been doing.

Stay safe and stay positive as that is the best way to get through this. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

April 16, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Easter Sunday as Susan

Happy Easter everyone, yes today is Easter and normally I would spend it with family but that is not possible this year so it will be a day spent as Susan. I got up at 8 and started getting ready. I have a peach colored dress that is the perfect Easter dress so that is what I will wear today at least for a while. I say this all the time but the time I spend getting ready, transforming myself into Susan is so enjoyable and relaxing. It took me till 9:30 to get completely ready, yes, I can do it faster if needed but when I have the time, I like to enjoy it. Now as I said I had my dress already picked out; I have worn it before to the Escape, but it was perfect for today.

Once I was already, I took some time to get a few pictures, I am pretty good at selfies but getting full body pictures by yourself is a little more difficult as you need to find a way to set the camera up by itself so they are not the best. Way easier and more fun to have a friend take your picture. Now I don’t talk a lot about my male life in my blog as I try to keep them separate but today is an exception.

I don’t talk about it much but yes; I am religious, and I have never not gone to church on Easter with my family but this year we can’t. well I called my mom and talked with her for awhile as she is having a hard time not being able to see anyone. Well I logged onto the churches web site and watch the Easter service online while my mom listened over the phone. It was kind of like being there and I was Susan for it although I was the only one who knew I was Susan. now as I said my mom is having a hard time with this as I can not go over and see her, one of the reasons I was able to get my ears pierced but I think this really helped my mom today.

Now my day at home alone as Susan starts and it started with watching a movie, Jurassic Park, Actually TNT is showing all 3 of them today so that will be my day. I got a few more pictures before the movie started. Now it is a beautiful day out and will be in the low 70’s, spring is here. I watched the first movie and then it was time for lunch. After the movie it was time for lunch and I figured I would eat out on my deck in the sunshine but I figured sitting out there in this bright, fancy dress would draw attention if one of my neighbors looked out the window so I went up and changed not a black skirt and a maroon top a more casual look but still cute. I pause TNT as I can pause it for an hour and then zap out the commercials when I watch it.

I made me a sandwich and took my computer out on the deck and had lunch and played on my computer. I set up a Zoom meeting for Wednesday night in hopes some of the other girls will want to get together for a while and video chat. It really is nice to be able to see and talk with each other even if it is online. I also caught up on some e-mails, some work, and started this blog, and just enjoyed some time in the sun. I could hear my back neighbors on their deck but with the fence the only way we can see each other is if we are both standing up or they actually come over to the fence and look over and as I was sitting down I didn’t think anything of it and just went about what I was doing. It was a beautiful day out and I was in no hurry to go back inside. I stayed out here till I herd the TV start playing meaning I had hit the end of my hour pause so I went in and watched the next movie. The movies go so much quicker when you take out the commercials.

I watched the next 2 movies and then it was time for dinner. It was about 5:30 so I decided to go to Jack in the Box and get dinner, yes, I just had to get out of the house for a little bit. It was a short trip, but it was better then nothing. I got home with my meal and decided to sit on the deck and eat s it is still nice out. spending so much time at home and in the house has really made me appreciate being able to get out. I can really understand how my Mom must feel and how hard this is for her. if you have family reach out to them so they know they are not alone same goes for friends. It is really important as we practice social distancing. Well as I sat on my deck eating dinner, I could hear my neighbors behind again, they were out on their deck BBQing again. Well they were standing at the closest end of their deck and I could see just the top of her head but he was tall enough that I could see his full head so if he looked over my way he would also be able to see my head, face well I just went about eating my dinner and playing on my computer as I figured he would not get that good of a look at me. I don’t know if he did but the next time, I looked up they were not there anymore.

Well it was about 7 when I went back inside to watch another movie, the one I will watch tonight is “the American President”. It has been a good day and a fun weekend at home as Susan. it is now how I want to spend time as Susan but for now it is the best I can do. We still have a few more weeks like this but I am sure things will get better and back to normal soon, positive thinking. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday night as I will be Susan and hopefully some of my friends will join me for our video chat. Also, next weekend I will once again spend the whole weekend as Susan and maybe try my new earrings they are small silver hoop earrings I bought when I got my ears pierced, I included a picture of them. They are really cute, and I didn’t want anything to bi to start.

Stay safe and know I am thinking of all of you and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 12, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday and another Susan weekend.

Well it is Saturday April 11th and that means 2 things, another weekend as Susan at home, also it is Easter weekend so Happy Easter to everyone out there. Now normally Easter would be spent with my Mom but with the shutdown right now I can’t go over there so weekend as Susan wins out. now right now my normal weekend starts Friday when I get home from work and last through Sunday night. Well I got home Friday night and found out I have an online training Saturday morning so I had to get some things ready and that meant Susan would have to wait. Now the training was being done on Zoom which is a video meeting place so it would be after the training I would get to be Susan. I got up Saturday morning and did my training till 11 and then started getting ready as Susan for my weekend. Now I only bring this up as a couple girls had talked about trying Zoom as a way for our group to get together while we can’t get together in person. Now I only bring this up as I got a chance to use it so I set up an account and decide I would see how it worked and if I could get a few girls to use it tonight.

Well I started getting ready about 11 and it was a about 12:30 when I was all ready and looking pretty. I went downstairs and got some picture inside and also on my deck as I figure if I can’t go out with my friends, I can at least post some pictures. Once that was done I set up a meeting on Zoom and sent it out to the group to see if I could get anyone to join me tonight at 7, now I have a free account which give me 40 minutes if we have more than 3 people sign in. Now as I said it is pretty much a weekend at home but I did make a quick trip out as I needed to get some gas so I went to COSTCO, I was going to go in and do a little shopping but there was a line and they were only letting someone go in when someone came out and the line looked long so I passed and just got my gas. Now on the way home I did need a couple things mainly oil for my lawn mower. I should probably work in my yard this weekend, but I want my weekend to be Susan time, but I could get the oil. Beside Fred Meyer also has Coke on sale this week and I need some of that also and a few other things, so I decided to stop and do a little shopping. I did get a quick picture in the car before going in. I was only in Fred Meyers about 20 minutes as I did want to make I a fast trip to cut down on being close to other people. From here I went to Taco Bell to get some lunch and take home.

I ate lunch at home on my deck as it was a nice warm day out, about 70 or so. I am ready for summer and warm weather. Now I also had my computer outside with me and I was surfing the internet mostly Facebook and I saw a picture of one of my friends outside in her yard. Now this is the first year I have really spent time on my deck as Susan, as my neighbors can see my deck from their windows if they are looking at least till my grape plants start growing around my deck which I planted several years ago for privacy but today I actually ventured off my deck and out into my yard and even went over by the fence to my neighbors yard. It was kind of fun to just be out in the yard as Susan.

Now Melisa had e-mailed she would join me on Zoom at 7 so it looks like we will get a chance to try it tonight. I went back inside and watched a little more TV till about 6 and then decided it was dinner time and I was going to go to Panda Express and get some take out, I figure it is the healthier fast food. Now there are 2 I go to right now, the one closest to my house which I go pretty regular maybe once a week as my male self and this one does not have a drive through and I occasionally run into people I know there because it is so close. The other one is my Susan one and it is a few miles away, that one has a drive though and I have gone there as Susan many time, sometimes for take out and others to eat there, but I have never crossed them till now. Tonight, I am going to the one by my house which I go to all the time as my male self.

Now as this one does not have a drive through you have to go inside to order but now they have a table blocking the one door and you order from outside and then you go around to the other door where there is a table where you pick up your order. Now I stopped here 3 days ago as my male self and today as Susan and it was the same young lady who took my order the other day who took my order today, she has actually worked here for a while. Any way I placed my order and then walked to the other door to pick it up. I had to stand in line in both places on the outside of the building. I did take the time to get a quick picture when I thought no one was looking. I got my order and went home and ate. I finished just before 7 which was perfect timing.

At 7 I started my Zoom meeting and Melissa signed in. now if you have never done one of these you have tabs on the top of who is in the meeting and who ever is talking there picture goes to the big picture in the middle of the screen, well if they have their wen cam on. It actually worked really well as we could see each other in real time and talk and it was almost like we were in the same room. Well a few minutes later Nicole joined, her web cam was off as she was in male mode so we couldn’t see her, but we could hear her and talk with her. now it worked really well the only issue is when 2 of us tried to talk at the same time. This could be an issue if you had a lot of people on it at the same time. You can actually have up to 100 people on at a time on the free account, but I think it limits how many tabs you can see. As there were only 3 of us it didn’t cut us off after 40 minutes, so we actually spent about an hour talking with each other. It really was a nice way to socialize with the social distancing right now. I think I am going to try for a virtual Wednesday night dinner this way.

Well after the Zoom meeting I watched a little TV and wrote this blog. I will stay up till about 11 before going to bed and starting it all again tomorrow. Tomorrow being Easter I have a really pretty peach colored dress that I actually bought last year at this time, and I bought it as an Easter dress as I thought the color was perfect for Easter so I am thinking of wearing it tomorrow at least for part of the day. not something I would be out on my deck in or wandering around my yard in, but I will wear it part of the day at least. By the way Monday will be 3 weeks since I got my ears pierced and they seem fine, I was so tempted to try some small hoop earrings I bought when I got them pierced but I didn’t. I may try them next weekend as that will be almost 4 weeks. I really want to try them but I also want to make sure they heal proper. Well I will make the decision next weekend.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life. Be safe and happy and have a Happy Easter.


April 11, 2020 Posted by | Gender | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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