Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Holiday party 2014


Well tonight is our Holiday party that Julie and Trixie are hosting for the second year at Trixie’s house. They are such wonderful people and I am lucky to count them as friend or should I say family as that is more how I feel about them and the friend I have in the group. Well I wore my red and black dress tonight as I wanted to look my best as I knew the other girls would also have on beautiful dresses. It is funny how I can get so excited about how I look and what I wear as Susan, I can see why woman can get caught up in a completion to look the best and that can be okay as long as you keep it all in friendly completion which we all do. And I was right there were so many pretty dresses tonight and it is always so fun to see all the girls dressed up.

I started getting read early something my male side would not do and spent extra time on my makeup to look my best. I was ready and on my way by 6:15 as the party started at 7 and my timing was perfect as I was walking in the door of Trixie’s right at 7. There were already about 10 girls there and I was right all had on beautiful dresses and looked great so I guess we all won the contest to look the best. The first thing I did was to get out my camera and start taking pictures as I wanted to do my best to get a picture of everyone who came to the party.

Well right from the start I had to get a picture of Julie and me, she also had on a really pretty dress as you can see and yes turns out my dress was shorter which I had to remember all night long. Isn’t our hostess just lovely?

The house was lovely inside, so beautifully decorated and there was so much delicious food out. I got a little to eat and then with my camera in hand set out to get pictures. In all I took almost 50 pictures and I hope I got everyone. This also gave me a chance to walk around and talk with the girls.

Now these types of home parties are wonderful for that as you can get a chance to talk and get to know each other better. It is funny as Julie and I were talking in the kitchen for a long time about that. So many of these girls I consider my closest friends and yet I don’t really know a lot about them. Some, most I have never even seen in male mode.

Julie and I wondered what each would be like in our male side, would we be different, act different and what about all the other girls here, how would they be? Now we both agreed we would like each other and everyone else, either way and most likely we would talk about the same things we do now. I can just see a bunch of guys sitting around talking about makeup tips, nails and nail polish color and dresses.

Now this got me thinking about myself and the differences and there are differences but not the way most would think. Probably the biggest difference I jewelry, as a man I hate jewelry, I don’t even like wearing a watch, but as Susan I don’t feel right without bracelets and a ring and sometimes a necklace and if they didn’t leave marks on my ears earrings. Yes I want to get my ears pierced but not sure how I would handle it when I am not Susan, as I said in my male life earrings don’t interest me. Now this may not seem like the biggest difference to everyone but I classify it that way because there is really no explanation for this one. The other differences I can explain.

Now as Susan I am way more relaxed and yes more comfortable as Susan and I am more outgoing as Susan. As my male self I have an introvert personality, I keep to myself and I don’t let people get real close to me and although I wouldn’t call Susan an extrovert but she is a lot more social and loves going out with friends and meeting people. Now these may seem like a really big difference but in fact it is because of the way I live. In my male life I am always worried people will figure out about my crossdressing and how they would react. As Susan I don’t really worry about this as I know people realize I am a crossdresser. I wonder if others feel the same way.

Okay one more picture, this is Victoria and me, she had on a pretty long green dress. I got a chance to talk with Brenda for a while about Diva Las Vegas. She is not sure she will be able to go this year which is a shame. I still haven’t heard for sure I can go but as of now I am planning on it, I figure at the very least I can go for most of it.

Kim also was able to make it for a little while, she had on this beautiful blue skirt with a black top and chain belt, she looked beautiful as always. It was such a fun night and it went by so fast. I had planned on leaving at midnight but before I knew it, it was 12:30 I thanked Julie and Trixie for a lovely time and for all they did.

Now I was giving Rose, Cloe and her boyfriend Michael rides home as they are not that far out of my way. It is nice to have others in the car to talk with for those late night drives home. What a wonderful way to end a wonderful year. Thanks again Julie and Trixie

May you all have a Happy and safe New Year!

December 28, 2014 Posted by | Holiday, Party | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The last Friday of 2014

Wow it I hard to believe that 2014 is almost over, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and will have a safe and happy New year! It is always fun this time of year with family and friends and I find it a good time to look back over the year and see what went well and what didn’t, the good and bad shall we say. Now on my Susan side this is a little easier as I have so many wonderful pictures and of course my blog I can look back on, the reason I started my blog. I can look back on my blog and see the days I was Susan and read about it, my online diary which I share with all of you. Now this year was one of my biggest as Susan as by the end of the year Susan will have been out 113 times this year. Wow that represents almost 1/3 of the year of course most were just parts of the day, maybe a few hours but still there is no denying Susan is a major part of who I am and my life.

My goal is to get out twice a week as I feel that is a good balance between both sides of me. Now I know that I would not be where I am and who I am without the support of all of you my family here online and of course the people I have met in person so that you all. Now if you don’t have or want a blog I would still encourage you to keep some form of diary of your life and include some pictures as it is important to see how you have grown over the years as this is a big part of who we are and we should embrace this side of us as without it we would not be who we are today. One tip though remember whatever you put online never truly goes away. You can see all of my pictures on my Flickr page going back several years, some of the older ones are not as good.

Well as the title says it is the last Friday night of 2014 and it really has been a great year for both Susan and my male self and I am looking forward to more of the same next year. I started getting ready at 5 tonight as I wanted to be out a little early as it has been a busy week and I am tired today so it will not be a late night tonight. I got to Sweetehome at 6:45 and I wore my cute little blue dress I wore to Harvey’s Comedy club a few weeks ago. Cristine was just getting there so we walked in together and of course Chris was there as here gets here about 5 on Fridays, he doesn’t have to go home and change and put on makeup.

Well I got out my computer as I had a few things I needed to do, one of which is getting the list going for our group’s next trip to Harvey’s comedy club. This is always a fun night out and I hope we will have a good turnout. We have been going to Harvey’s once a month for several years now and they have been so wonderful and supportive of our group over the years. I think they look forward to our coming there almost as much as we do. It is awesome that there are people and businesses out there that don’t discriminate and treat everyone as a valued customer and a valued member of society. As a matter of fact most businesses are this way. I often get asked online about nails salons and what ones are TG friendly in case you didn’t get it from my blog and pictures I love long pretty nails and going to the nail salon, having acrylic nails would be the one thing about Susan would do all the time if I could as a matter of fact my toes have been painted for 8 years now with the exception of maybe 20 to 30 days. Now I do have my favorite nails salons Dream nails in Vancouver and Glamorous nails Beaverton, both are awesome and do a wonderful job but I have gone to many nails salons over the years and have always been treated well at all of them. Most don’t care who you are other than a customer plus if you get good service give them a shout out on yelp.

I think how we present ourselves when we are out make a difference in how people react to us and treat us. If we do our best to be proper ladies, are respectful, and genuine in who we are and are not looking or expecting problems that is how people will see us and react. Okay a little store about a friend, she is very nice but when she goes out she expects to have issue, you could almost say she is looking for them and she almost always finds them. Her outlook is the glass half empty type and she is working on this. I on the other hand am the glass half full and that is how I look at things when going out and for the most part that is how I find things. Now I am not saying there will never be problems and you should always be a where of where you are and who is around you no matter how you are dressed good safety advice. But I truly believe that most people are decent and will react to you how you react to them especially on a one on one basis and once you get to talk with them they will see there is nothing wrong if you come across that way.

Well I ordered dinner as they had their chicken breast special which was awesome as always. Now Laura Hill showed up it has been a while since she has been to Sweethome, lots going on in her life right now so it was great to see her. It is amazing how relaxed she seemed, all of us actually when we get to express this side of us. It really is therapeutic in a way. When we don’t get to be who we are the stress builds up and I know for someone who is not TG may not understand that but if you imagine something you really like and then take it away you kind of get the picture. I get asked every once in a while if I could ever stop being Susan and I know a lot of girls would say no, for me and I think most the honest answer would be yes and by that mean if my life depended on it I could stop. I would not be happy about it, I would always be thinking about it and the longer I went without Susan I would think about it more and more and I would not be happy and would be really stressed out which is not healthy either. But luckily my life does not depend on my stopping and as we live in a free country I can live how I want. It is funny as I have less stress, look younger and am in better health then most of my none TG friends of whom some are younger than me, Susan is my fountain of youth. Any way it was nice to talk with Laura Hill for a while. Now you may be asking why I am so formal with her full name and that is easy as Laura Michaels also came out tonight so we had 2 Laura’s so at our table we had Chris, Laura M, Laura H, Me and Cristine

It was a fun night and we enjoyed good conversation and of course Chris and Laura H played some pool and did well. They are still getting use to the new pool table as it is a competition table and I guess the balls roll faster and the pockets are just a little smaller. I have yet to play on it so maybe next Friday I will.

Now as it got later Karaoke started and of course Chris and Laura H both sang and did great. The bar was busy and of course the other group was there and they had a really good turnout. I got several compliments on my on my dress, Michelle from the other group told me how cute it was which always makes me feel god. Funny I never really think about compliments when I am in male mode and really wouldn’t care if someone told me my pants or shirt looked real nice but as Susan I love this and actually put a lot of thought into what I wear and how I look.

The karaoke was good as always even those who are not that good had fun and that is what counts. It was almost 11:30 and I just could not make it any more so I paid my bill and said goodbye to everyone. I will see most of them tomorrow at our Holiday party that Julie and Trixie are hosting so I will have one more chance to be Susan before the end of the year. Unfortunately I will not make it out New Year’s Eve with my friends as I have to work late that day and very early New Year’s Day.

Wow I guess I got a little long winded with this blog so if you read this far thanks.

May you all have a safe, healthy, prosperous and Happy New Year!

December 27, 2014 Posted by | Holiday, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Twas the Friday before Christmas with friends

Twas the Friday before Christmas and all through my house, Susan was rushing to get ready to go to Sweethome in hopes that Melissa would soon be there. I had my dress all laid out on the bed as I did my makeup and put my wig on my head. And what to my wondering eye’s did I see, my dress was not right for my makeup tonight, so back into my closet I rushed with a clatter to find that perfect dress and the boots to go with it. Yes Melissa is in town for the weekend and I was sure she would drop by Sweethome tonight. I finished up my makeup, grabbed my computer and was out the door by 6:15.

I got there about 6:30 and parked on the street as there was no room in the lot. Chris was inside with his computer and there was a fairly good crowd for this early. I joined him and got my computer out and checked Facebook and my e-mails as I didn’t take time earlier as I wanted to get out as early as I could. Heather from the other group had sent me a message that they were having a Birthday party for Poo from their group and of course they always do a theme so I knew they would have some great outfits on tonight. I ordered dinner as they had their Pork chop special which is always good. Cristine showed up also.

It was about 7 when Melissa and Mikaela showed up. It was so wonderful to see them again, last time I saw Melissa was when Cassandra and I were on our way back from Diva Las Vegas and we stopped in LA and met her at Hamburger Mary’s for T-girls night, you can read about it in my blog. Well of course we needed a group picture of us.

It was great to talk with them and find out what was new. Melissa moved to Southern California a little over a year ago and although the reason she moved didn’t work out the way she hoped she loves it down there as she loves the beach and warm weather, plus she has made friends down there also which is great. If you are Transgender you need to find friends who are also Transgender or at least supportive of people who are Transgender as that really makes a difference. Melissa goes out down there with several girls some of whom I know on Facebook Amy and Alexis. I actually met Alexis back in 2011 at Diva Las Vegas and we have stayed in touch on Facebook and of course I also follower her blog. We both have blogs at WordPress which offers free blogs, you can pay money for more space and services but for what I do the free one is way more then I needs. Okay one more picture of me and Melissa.

If you are looking to start a blog I would recommend this one as it is easy to use and you can use Word to type it out so spelling is correct and then upload it right from Word. Now you may be thinking what could you wright that people would want to read and I will tell you. My blog started off as basically a diary for myself, I didn’t want to keep stuff on my computer that family, friends or my roommates might see. I never thought anyone would even find it much less read it but they did and do, the great thing about the internet. The only bad part is remember that what you put online is always out there someplace and never goes away. My first web page, before there were blogs was at Geocities, some of you that are old enough may remember them. They were bought out and shut down at least 10 years ago maybe 15 so they are not around anymore but my web pages still show up in Google, Bing and several other search engines and include the pictures I posted, if you click on the link it will say web page not found but still visible on their search engines so never post anything you don’t want the world to see forever.

Mikaela and I got to talk, she started a new job so her Mikaela time I limited now for a while but she is hoping to get to our Christmas party next weekend that Julie and Trixie are hosting. She is actually spending time with her family for Christmas and like so many of us her family doesn’t know. Here is a picture of Mikaela and me.

Silver also showed up, it has been a while since she has been out so I got to talk with her for a little bit too. Petra and Michele also made it out tonight and they brought one of Michele’s friends named Ninea She seemed really nice and I got a chance to talk with her for a while. she told me I reminded her of one of her friends, my cheekbones and eyes which I took as a compliment as who doesn’t like being told that you look like a female, her friend on the other hand my not view it the same if she heard it. Roxy even showed up after she got off work.

By 9 the bar was so busy with so many people that you really couldn’t play pool anymore and as I said the other group was there and a lot of them mostly the woman had dressed up, the theme looked mostly like cats as several of them had cat ears and tails and of course a lot of corsets. It was pretty cool that they do parties like this. I of course had to wish Poo a happy birthday. It is nice as we have good interaction with the other group, they actually have a couple transgender members in their own group so I think that make it easier for them to relate to us.

Mikaela and Melissa had to leave as they were meeting people at CC Slaughters to go dancing so we said our goodbyes. Rose and Diane also made it out tonight and it was great to see them again. Had a chance to talk with them for a while. Diane is back at work which is nice, she had a car wreck a few months back and was hurt and not able to work which is always hard but she is doing better now which is wonderful.

It was a wonderful night and we had a good group out I think 12 and the Karaoke group must have has 30+. I got to talk with Heather, Victoria and Michelle from their group for a while and of course got hugs which is always nice. I think we should always give hugs as they are shown to improve health. Now I had planned on not staying out to late tonight as I didn’t get much sleep last night but before I knew it, it was almost 12:30 and I knew it was time to call it a night so I paid my bill, wished everyone a Merry Christmas and left for home.

One last picture, Mikaela took this of me. In case I don’t get a chance to blog before Christmas I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and consider this my big Christmas hug to all of you.

Thanks for reading.

December 20, 2014 Posted by | Christmas, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A little Christmas shopping as Susan

I got home from work early and I was going to go and do some of my Christmas shopping and I thought to myself, why not go as Susan. It is funny as a few years back I was excited about shopping this time of year as I could buy stuff for Susan and people just thought I was getting gifts for a sister, girlfriend. It was an easy time to go shopping and buy girl things. Now I am comfortable enough to go out shopping as Susan so buying Susan stuff is a lot easier. Any way I needed to pick up a few more gifts for family and of course some Christmas cards so I decided it would be Susan that did my shopping for my family even if they will never know it. I did some of my Christmas shopping last year as Susan and so it was only fitting I do some this year also.

As I said I was home early so I started getting ready a little before 4 in hopes of being out by 5. It was just a few minutes before 5 when I left home and headed for Lloyd Center mall. We the one thing I hadn’t planned on was rush hour traffic. Now I got there about 5:30 and parked by Nordstrom’s and went in. it was pretty busy which I expected this time of year as Christmas is only a week away. I took a quick look at the cosmetic counter before walking into the mall. My first stop was Hallmark for my Christmas cards and I see I was not the only one who put this off till the last minutes. There were maybe 20 other people in here looking at cards. I needed cards for my Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister-in-law, and a couple nieces and of course to make it interesting I also needed a couple Birthday cards, yes this time of year is busy for gifts and cards. I spent about 20 minutes picking out just the right cards and then up to the cashier to pay. They had two working and 5 people in line so there I stood waiting for my turn. I finally got to the front of the line and paid for my cards and then it was out into the mall.

Now I was out into the mall and on my way down to Sears which is at the opposite end of the mall for a gift card, yes I have the Christmas shopping down, gift cards are the way to go as they can buy just what they need or want. I got to sears and looked around at the clothes but nothing really jumped out at me besides I was shopping for gifts for family. I got my gift card and then back into mall. I made a quick stop in the store that sells movies just to look. Didn’t see anything I wanted to buy so back into the mall and a quick stop at Torrid to mainly look at their bracelets as they have bigger sizes. They had some that fit but I didn’t like the style or look. Well that was enough so I walked back to Nordstrom’s and went got another gift card which finished my shopping here.

I walked out to my car and was on my way. The next stop was Target by the airport as I needed a couple gift cards from here for my nieces as they love Target. I walked around and looked at some of their clothing but again nothing I really wanted so as I was heading up to the cashiers I saw a bin of DVD movies and right on the top was the movie Mama Mia, it was actually a double pack and also had the movie It’s Complicated which I have never seen. But I love the movie Mama Mia and actually Peggy, Cassandra and I went and saw the play a couple weeks ago at the Keller in downtown Portland, yes we were both in male mode and it was really good. Well the movie was only $5 so there was no way I could pass it up, so with movie in hand I went up and bought it plus a couple gift cards. This finished my shopping for tonight.

It was about 7:30 and I didn’t want to rush straight home and as I am not far from my favorite Starbuck’s that would be my next stop for the evening and yes I kind of planned it if I had time as my computer is in the trunk of my car. I got there and got my normal Grande Hot Chocolate and sat down to catch up on some e-mails and a little work but mostly to surf the internet. There were maybe 10 other people here and this time I got one of the lower tables with chairs with backs a lot more comfortable. It was a great way to end an evening just relaxing with a warm drink. I will stay till they close at 9 and then I have to stop on my way home and get some gas in my car as I am almost on empty.

It was a fun night. Thanks for reading.

December 18, 2014 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday is here and time for some Susan time with friends.

Well it has been another long week and I was ready for my Friday night out, this is my night to relax and get away from all the stuff going on in my male life. I started getting ready a little before 5 with hopes of being out early, well that didn’t happen. I tried a different look with my eyes, more dramatic and a really pretty teal green color and it just didn’t work the first and it was bad enough I had to remove it and start again. The second try was better but still not what I wanted but it was getting late almost 7 and it looked okay so I called it good.

I got to Sweethome and Chris and Cristine were there already, they had actually posted to the group they got here at 5. Now the bar was getting a new pool table tonight so it looked kind of strange as there was this big empty spot where the old table was. The new table was on the way and actually arrived about 7:30 and they started setting it up. It was kind of fun to watch how they do this and get it level. They actually have a level that can show out of level by putting a single piece of paper under one side so we know the table is good as Chris and a couple others from the bar were watching. It took them about an hour to get it all set up and ready to play. Chris from our group got to play the first game on the new table, he and Side Show Bob (his nick name) played and Chris did well but not good enough so he has the first loss on the new table and Side Show Bob the first win. Thought I would record this fact for future generations as I know it is an important fact.

Well Jerri Lynn showed up, she is my friend from Vancouver BC that comes to Portland a few times a year and always e-mails me when she does to find out what we are doing. It was nice to see her again and talk with her as I always learn a little more about people when I talk to them and as you can imagine the Transgender community is a pretty secretive group. I have some friends I have known for years and still don’t know their male name, where they live or what they do for a living and yet they are some of my closest friends. I really don’t think you need to know everything about someone’s life, you need to know what kind of person they are and that is the key. I feel closer to my friends here in the group who I may not truly know all about them then I do to some of the other people who I know everything about. The only bad part of this is when you lose contact with someone. Some girls will disappear and you are always left wondering what happened and as you don’t know their real name where they live or work you have no way to find out. We actually had a girl name carol who came out every few months, well she passed away in August of 2013. Well her family discovered her secret life when going through her stuff and one of her daughters was thoughtful enough to post a really nice e-mail to the group from her account and let us know and I hope she knows how much that meant to us who knew her. Well back to today’s blog.

Teresa showed up tonight which was a nice surprise as she doesn’t get out much with the group, she had a date later on and stopped by for a drink with us. It was nice to see her and get to talk with her. She has come so far since I first met her. I met her back in 2008 and at that time she was crossdressing but she has gone full circle as she had SRS a few years back and has been living full time as the woman she has always been inside for several years. I think that is what makes our group so wonderful as we have girls from all aspects of the Transgender community from very part time crossdressers who can’t come out to those who have fully transitioned and are living full time and we support each other for who they are. This has helped me become the girl I am and helped me to understand and accept me for me.

Well it has been a little while since I really discussed who I am, how I feel and what I want out of life so I thought I would do that again now. I guess the first thing I get asked a lot is do you feel I am male or female and I guess the honest answer is I feel I am me. It is not about what sex my body is it is about my state of mind and how I feel. I do have both a male and female side and yes both are string feelings and important to me. I do love being Susan and all the fun stuff that goes with being female, clothes, hair, makeup, nails and shoes but I would never want to transition and be Susan full time. Now there are some things I would do all the time if I could, I would love to have long pretty finger nails and I would do this all the time if men could, well maybe sometime I would have to have my nails short but they would always be painted. If there was a cheap, easy and effective way to remove all my body and facial hair I would but as I am only part time I can’t justify the money or time to do this for a couple times a week. There are even times I have wondered what it would be like and wished I did have breasts but this is more of a fantasy then something I would ever do as I would not be able to be my male self with breast. The last is sexual preference and again this is just me, I have no interest in men. There is nothing I find the list bit attractive about men. I think it is my love for the female form that has some part of why I crossdress. Well here is a little about me.

Roxy, Petra and Michele showed up and they are always a fun couple to hang out with. We had a smaller group here tonight but it was still a lot of fun. Heather from the Karaoke group came over and talked with us, she is so awesome as is all the people who come here. Well Karaoke started and of course Chis sang a few songs and did great. Tonight also Heather went up and Sang with Jessica and they sang the song “All about the Bass” and they did awesome Heather was great. We had a great night.

Well the girls started to leave and by 12 it was just Chris, Roxy and me left. Chris and Roxy left and I was getting ready to also but Andrea from the Karaoke group was singing and I liked the song so I stayed to listen and then of Course Jessica sang a song I like and she has such a pretty voice I stayed for here song and in the end I stayed maybe a half hour more listening to the singing before I left. It was a fun night and great start to the weekend.

Thanks to all who read and follow my blog.

December 13, 2014 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A little shopping and then to Starbucks

Well I noticed this morning I was almost completely out of my moisturizer and that is bad. I have been using it every day for years and it really helps and it is nothing fancy just Oil of Olay complete all day with SPF 15. I much prefer this to sunscreen as it is gentler on my face and doesn’t smell and it is cheaper. So I was going to go out and get some and when I got home today I was checking my e-mail and I got a coupon from ULTA for 20% off, yes I joined there reward club. Well I decided to go there and see if they had my one lip liner that I have been having trouble finding plus it was an excuse for Susan to get out for a few hours.

I left my house a little after 5 and drove to ULTA at Jantzen Beach. Now wouldn’t you know it as I pulled into the parking lot it started to pore now I could park right in front but I still waited a couple minutes to see if it let up and it didn’t so I quickly got out of the car and got under the awning and only slightly got wet. Well now I had the chance to look around the store, now if you have never shopped here it is one big cosmetic center like what you see in the department stores but they also carry the drugstore brands also.

I spent a little time looking around and no they did not have the lip liner in the color I wanted. I found my moisturizer and then went over to the nail polish section to look at the OPI polish as they also had a special on this, buy 2 get one free and I found a couple really pretty colors, a fuchsia and a bright red and I also got a mat top coat that I may try on my nails for everyday and see how it looks. And I also got a nail strengthener as my nails seem to be breaking more these days. Now as I was looking at the nail polish one of the ladies from the hair salon in the back came over and told me how nice my hair looked which made me feel good. I am sure she knew it was a wig but still made me feel good.

Well I went up to the checkout with my items and the lady at the counter asked for a phone number so instead of getting my rewards card out I just gave my phone number and then she asked if I found everything and called me by my name well my girl name. I paid and she thanked me for coming in and gave me a $5 coupon good next week and wished me a nice evening so I may have to go back again.

I got out side and it was raining even harder the when I got there so I again rushed to get in my car and I am sure it was not real ladylike the way I got in but it was dark and no one was around and I didn’t want to get any wetter than I had to. It was about 6:15 and I figured with traffic it would could make it to my favorite Starbucks by 7. Well to my amazement there was really no traffic eve with the heavy rain and so I was there by 6:30 so I would have a good 2 plus hours there.

Of course it was still raining hard but again I was able to park right in front so as quickly as I could I got out and went inside. There were maybe 8 other people here but no one in line so I went up to get a warm drink. The lady behind the counter asked me if I wanted my usually Grande Hot Chocolate and I said yes so even though I haven’t been coming here that often they still remember me. Now I sat at the long table in the middle of the store and got my computer out. Well this was not a good choice as it has stools with no backs and they are not comfortable but I stayed here as I didn’t want to move and possible make some of the people around me feel I was moving to avoid them. Funny how I thought about this. If I had been in one of the table with chairs and I saw someone get up from this table and move I would have probably thought wrongly it was they felt uneasy near me when it would most likely be the stools, so I stayed there. I only bring this up as we tend to think people look at us, judge us and avoid us and although that may happen it is not always what is going on. I will have to remember that in the future and remember to get a table with chairs with a back at least if I am going to be here for a longer period of time.

Well I had time tonight and so I started by catching up on some e-mails. It is so easy to overlook friends online and that is a shame and I know that is one of my weaknesses, I blame that on my male side. Any way tonight I had a chance to catch up on some of those. I also had some work I had to get done, it is funny to think I am doing some of my work as Susan and wonder what people at work would think if they knew. For me it is all about being out as Susan and so I don’t even mind the work plus I am able to focus a little more here as I don’t have the distractions I do at home you know the TV.

I have been sitting here and it has rained most of the time although it has slowed down right now so I thought briefly about leaving but they are still open for another 40 minutes so I will gamble the rain will taper off between now and 9 when I leave. It has been really stead with people coming and going here and always at least 8 to 10 people sitting at tables. I actually had a family sit at the other end of the table I am at, it is an 8 foot table with 10 stools around it. There were several other tables all with high stools so they could have sat someplace else but they sat at this table so they must not have been bothered by me but then I do look pretty cute tonight.

It was a fun night and I got most of my work done and caught up on a lot of e-mails so it was also a productive night as well made all the better being Susan.

Well thanks for reading

December 9, 2014 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at Harvey’s Comedy Club

It is Saturday and our group the Rose City T-girls are going to Harvey’s Comedy Club tonight. Now I always look forward to this night as it is so much fun plus I bought several new dresses a while ago and I have been wearing one each month. It is funny as I have never gotten excited about wearing something new in my male wardrobe but as Susan I love the idea of wearing something new and I have actually been thinking about it for a week, it’s like a little kid with a new toy.

Now Cherie did e-mail me about a ride so I started getting ready a little early. She gave me her phone number so I could call her when I got to her hotel and she would come down. She wasn’t going to answer it so I didn’t get charged with an international call which when you think about it is funny as I would be right outside her hotel. I got to her hotel and pulled up out front and called the number only to find my cell plan wouldn’t let me call the number so I sent her an e-mail hoping she would get it. Now as I sat there one of the Valet’s came over to see if I needed anything and I just told him I was picking a friend up but now I got thinking, I really had no way other than the e-mail as I don’t know her real name or what room she was in, one of the secrets we all keep. Luckily Cherie did get my e-mail and she came down and we were off to Fox & Hound and as her hotel was not far from there we still got there at 7.

Laura was already there in a really cute red dress, she wasn’t on the list but I knew as in all the past times we have gone there is always someone that doesn’t show up for some reason so I knew we would have a ticket for her as we had reserved 14 tickets. Now I wasn’t sure how many would show up at Fox & Hound and how many would just go straight to Harvey’s. Jan and Lynn did show up also along with Michele and Petra, Michele and Petra only came for dinner at Fox & Hound and were not going to Harvey’s. I introduced Cherie to everyone and we all had a great time just talking and Cherie was doing really well for her second time out. She actually went shopping today and bought a couple new outfits of course she did go in boy mode but still good for her.

Well at 8:30 we all left and said goodbye to Michele and Petra and Jan, Lynn, Laura, Cherie and I all walked the 6 blocks to Harvey’s. Wow for Cherie’s second night out she was walking around downtown Portland how fun. We got to Harvey’s and Cristine was already there and she was the only one in the lounge but that didn’t last long, within 10 minutes the lounge was full. Sophia and Lorna showed up and of course we took some picture, this is Lynn, Jan, Cherie, me and Cristine.

Well at 9:15 I walked out and picked up our tickets for those that were here and as I walked back in Michelle was coming out the door as she must have gotten here just after I went out so she went out and got tickets for her and her friend Barb.

Cherie and I got in a conversation with a couple ladies and they were talking with Cherie about her earrings she was having trouble with and with me about my dress. The one lady really loved my dress and thought it was really cute which it was. It really is fun to talk like this with other woman and felt so normal. It is amazing how relaxed I have gotten as Susan and Cherie did a great job too as she seemed relaxed also.

Okay I have to have at least one picture of me in my new dress so here it is. It really is a cute dress. Well it was time to go in for the show and of course Kim our favorite waitress had our table all set up. It was great to see her again, she actually e-mailed me about joining or group. I had taken her picture back in July and gave her my e-mail address so she is now a member of the Rose City T-girls, yes our group allows non Transgender people. Although the majority of the members are transgender we do have some wives, girlfriends, admirers and just friends who support us, we really are a diverse group.

The show started and it was really good, all of the comedians were good. We always have a fun time here and the comedians are always good, some are better but we have never had a bad comedian here.

Now by the time the headliner came on stage there were two groups that were kind of loud, one behind us that were talking and not really watching the show but the worst one was a group of 24 right upfront by the stage that was there for a Christmas party and they were the same talking loud and not watching the show. The headliner twice tried to get them to quiet down by asking if they wanted to watch the show and be respectful or did they want him to just speak louder which he was willing to do. This didn’t make a difference and so the comedian did start speaking louder over them but there were times it was hard to hear. This is the first time that this has happened when we have been here and I don’t want this to be taken the wrong way as we still had a great time and this was just an unfortunate issue.

Berry the owner came over to our table after the show and apologized which he really didn’t need to do, turns out this group of 24 people had a bill of $2600 for their drinks during the show, no food as they ate in the restaurant here before the show and I am sure they had a drink or two with dinner so now we all know why they were loud and not watching the show and I am sure a few of them will be feeling this tomorrow when they get up.

As we were leaving the show outside we ran into the lady Cherie and I were talking to before the show and again she told me how cute my dress was and wanted to get a picture with us so we all posed and her friend took a couple pictures. It was a fun night as always and I am looking forward to January when we go again.

We all walked back to where we had parked by Fox & Hound. It was a fun night and I think Cherie enjoyed it all include the walking downtown. We said our goodbyes and I drove Cherie back to her hotel and we had a nice conversation on the way. It was really nice to meet her while she was here and although I may not see her again I hope we can keep in touch online.

Thanks for reading.

December 7, 2014 Posted by | CD, Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

First Friday of December

Well it has been another busy week and this weekend will be just as busy but I will get some Susan time in which I love. If you read my blog from yesterday you know I went and got a medi-pedi which I love, I

think I am going to try to do this every 4 to 6 weeks if I can work it into my schedule kind of my early new year’s resolution, that and exercising and yes the medi-pedi will be my reward for exercising as I hope that will keep me motivated. Well as I promised here are the pictures of my pedicure, not sure about the color as it looked a lot prettier in the bottle. Still a fun thing to do plus I know in 4 to 6 weeks I can have a different color.

Well I started getting ready tonight at 5. I had checked my e-mail and we had a member request to our group from a t-girl from Australia and it seems she is in town for the weekend and wanted to go out with the group as she found us on Google, wow computers are great. She has only been dressing for about a year and has never gone out in public. Well I sent her information on the group mainly that we do require a face picture so we know the people joining are real but I also included where the group would be tonight so she could join us and then I started getting ready as I wanted to take my time and enjoy becoming Susan.

I left my house at 6:20 and was on my way for a fun night. Chris and Samantha were already there when I got there and of course Chris was on his computer and I got mine out to check a few things and there was an e-mail from Cherie confirming it was Sweethome bar and grill so I replied back that was right and I was already there.

Kimberly also showed up which was a nice surprise as it has been almost a year since she has been out with the group. She is one of my friends I have known the longest as we met online I don’t know I think back in the late 1990’s but we only met for the first time maybe 3 or 4 years ago. Any way it was great to see her and talk.

Cherie did show up about 8 and even though it was her first time out she seemed like it was totally natural, wow I remember my first few times out I was so scared. She sat down and we had a good chance to talk, seems the only one who knows about her is her wife and she is okay with her although all she has seen are pictures. It is funny how her wife found out and I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing but her wife found a couple early selfies she took on her phone and I guess the pictures weren’t good enough to clearly see her face so her wife thought that she was cheating on her and confronted her so she came out about her crossdressing which is actually a cute story. As she is in town for a few days traveling for business she doesn’t have a car so she took a taxi here tonight so I offered to give her a ride back to her hotel.

Cristine showed up later than normal I guess and also Jamie Lee one of our newer members and even Roxie made a brief appearance on her way home from work so we had a nice little group her plus the Karaoke group was here and they had a good turnout so the bar was busy. Heather was also here tonight she is such a fun person, she is the little social butterfly of the karaoke group and always comes over and talks with us and of course we get hugs too which I love. I think greeting people with hugs is the best thing and it is a shame that men can’t feel free to give hugs like woman do, it is so natural for woman and it just makes you feel wonderful inside.

Well I was talking with Cherie about the group and if she wanted to join even though she will rarely get to Portland but she said yes so I took her picture for the group and of course that led to other pictures including this one of the two of us which she said I could share on my blog. I had Jamie lee take the picture, thanks Jamie. I had to remind her to hold the camera up as I have learned over the years that for me and I think a lot of crossdressers the pictures just look better if the camera is higher than you and has a downward angle, it softens the look and helps minimize the larger facial features.

It is so cool we have the internet now as we really can meet wonderful people from all over the world and sometimes you actually get to meet them in person but even if you don’t I think the friendships we form even online are just as important. I have a couple friend in Europe that we met through our WordPress blogs, Tina Cortina and Anna Arendt and although they don’t blog much anymore we are also friends on Facebook and keep up with each other that way. I may not know their real names but that really doesn’t matter as they are just as real as they are as any of my friends. The internet has allowed us the ability to do so many wonderful things and as long as you use good judgment it can be an awesome tool. The first person I ever really met many years ago was Alice and we connected through e-mail and that is how I started going out as she would e-mail me when she was in town so I knew I would not be alone going out. S to all my friends out there online, I know I may not chat, talk or comment on your blog or Facebook page or even e-mail you often but you are all important to me and each one of you have touched my life in some way and helped make me who I am. Wow got a little of track here so back to my blog of Friday night.

While talking to Cherie and Kimberly I told them about going to Harvey’s Comedy club tomorrow and asked if they wanted to go. Cherie said yes and Kimberly said she did if she could talk her partner into it. Harvey’s is such a fun night and I still have a new dress I haven’t worn yet so that will be what I wear to Harvey’s. Cherie actually picked a great weekend to be in town and I think she will enjoy Harvey’s.

Karaoke started and Chris sang and did great as did everyone I mean really if you are willing to get up and sing in front of people you do great just for getting up. There were even some Christmas songs that were sung which by the way I love Christmas music. Well it was late and it was just Cherie and I left from our group so I went u and paid my bill. Michelle was at the bar and told me how cute my dress was and how good I looked in this color which I think I do. It is funny as I use to buy only black or really dark outfits as I thought they hid more but now I am buying a lot of colors as they are just more fun and so much prettier. Cherie and I were talking earlier about how woman’s clothes have so much more variety and styles and all you have to do is look at the awards shows and see what woman wear as opposed to the men.

Well I did give Cherie a ride back to her hotel which wasn’t that far accept for the fact they were doing work on the freeway and shut part of it down so I actually had to drive to the far side of Portland and then cut back through the city center but it gave us a chance to talk some more. I told her I would pick her up and drive to Fox & Hound tonight if she didn’t want to call a taxi and gave her my phone number to call me. It was a fun night and I am now looking forward to Saturday night and Harvey’s although my male side has things I have to do during the day so I will be rushing to get ready Saturday night but as I already know what dress I am wearing it should be easier.

Thanks for reading and have an awesome weekend.

December 6, 2014 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Medi-Pedi tonight what a treat

Well I have needed to redo my toes for a while now and have not gotten around to it. Well I got home a little early enough today and I figured why not go to the nail salon and get a medi-pedi. Well thinking a head I called to see if I could get an appointment on such short notice. I called Dream nails which is only a few blocks from my house, I got my last pedicure here and loved it and they did such an awesome job. I called a little after 3:30 and they said they could get me in at 5:15, lucky they are close. I took the time and gave them my name and the lady replied “Hi Susan it has been a while which it has as it was in mid-September when I went and that was my first time. I figured it was my voice and the name that was the key.

Now that I had the appointment it was time to get ready so into the shower I went and of course I had to shave my legs and arms really well as they would be massaging them and I didn’t want any hair to ruin it. Well I got out of the shower and right onto doing my makeup and getting dressed. I was all ready by 4:45 which was something I had not planned on as it is so close to my house I had plenty of time so I sat down and watched the rest of the 4pm news. It was a couple minutes after 5 when I left my house and I was right it only took me 3 minutes to get there. I walked in at 5:05 and there was 2 ladies getting their nails done so I picked out a color for my toes called “The spy who loved me” by OPI. It is kind of a sparkly red color that I thought would be good for the Holidays and I was shown to a seat to soak my feet while I waited for them to finish the ladies they were doing. Well another nail tech came in right at 5:15 and she greeted me by name which made me feel good. Her name was Anna and she started on my feet. While she was removing what was left of the old nail polish she thanked me for the comment I left on Yelp after my last visit, wow they actually read it and remember it. Now she said they were really slow earlier today probably all the rain we had here. Well it wasn’t long after I got here that people started to show up and they got busy there were 2 ladies waiting now for the other two to finish up which they did and it wasn’t long after that that 3 other young ladies came in and all wanted pedicures. Looks like they will be working a little late tonight.

Anna finished with my toes and we went over to the manicure table and she started on my fingers. Now I was tempted to get the same red color but knew I would have to take it off tonight as I have to work tomorrow so I went with a clear coat. It was so relaxing and such a fun time. It was about 6:30 when I left, Anna asked if I wanted to set up an appointment for my next visit and I had to decline as with my schedule I couldn’t plan it out that far so she told me to call when I was ready for another pedicure or manicure.

Now it was only 6:30 and I thought about just going home but decided it was still early and I had time to go to Starbucks. Now the one I go to is about 20 minutes away so it took me a little while with traffic and the weather. I got there and they were a little busy but their new place across the street is twice as big so there was still plenty of room to sit. I got a warm drink as it is a little cold with bare feet. It’s about 41 out right now and of course till the nail polish dries completely I can’t put socks or shoes on so I have my flip flops on and they are not warm.

Well I spent about an hour surfing the net and catching up on my e-mails and a little work before starting my blog. Now the table I am at is not far from the counter people pick their drinks up at. So here I am sitting here working on my blog and I look up and standing about 10 feet from me are two ladies I know somewhat from well it is not important where I know them from so I just put my head back down and went back to my blog making sure I don’t look up and look them in their eyes. Well they got there drinks and went and sat in the chairs by the door about 15 feet from me and are talking. I wonder how long they will be here. Well they sat there for about 20 minutes talking before they left. They never really looked at me that much so I am sure they didn’t recognize me but then I kept my head down to my work on the computer.

It was after 8:30 when I left for home. It was a fun night and I so enjoyed my visit to the nail salon. I will get a picture tomorrow of m pretty toes to post in a later blog.

December 4, 2014 Posted by | nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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