Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Monday night zoom meeting.

It is Monday May 16th and we have our weekly zoom meeting. We have been doing a weekly zoom meeting now for over 2 years. We started it back in April of 2020 as a way to keep in contact when everything was closed and we couldn’t get together in person but we have kept it going as it really does help us stay in touch especially with those who live farther away. We actually have girls from the Seattle area, Utah, sometime California and yes one who joins us from Thailand of course for her it is a Tuesday morning meeting. It really has helped bring some of us closer in a way. Any way I do look forward to these meetings. I got home from work a little later but still had plenty of time to get ready. Now tonight I was going to wear my black skirt and purple top so I did my eye makeup with my purple pallet so my eyes were not as dramatic as last night. I really do like the smokey eye look with the dark browns and a little black though. I did do a bold red lip though so in all I was happy with the look. It still amazes me how changing your eye shadow, lip color, eyebrow shape can alter how you look. This is something women can do that men can’t. some women can completely change how they look with their makeup and hair style.

I was all ready by a little after 6 so I did get some pictures probably more than normal but I wanted to make sure I had some good one. One comment I seem to get a lot on my blog or e-mails is that I always look good in my pictures and I always love to hear that but I will share my secret with you. I take a lot of pictures and delete the bad ones and only post the ones I like. I love digital pictures for that reason. For those of you who are younger you don’t know what it is like when we had to use film. You would take pictures and then have to pay to have them developed which means someone else was looking at your pictures. Then you had to go pick them up and only then did you know if you had any good ones. Probably why I don’t have a lot of old pictures from when I first started dressing. Well I watched TV till just before 7 and then started the meeting.

Girls started to log on and tonight we would have 11 of us, Nicole, Christa, Jennifer, Melissa, Emily, Lynn, Cindi, Trish, Bree, Tori and me. it was great to see all my friends again and get a chance to talk with them. we had a little time for everyone to share something going on in their lives if they wanted to. Some of our girls are in the process of going full time and some have surgeries coming up so it is nice to hear about that even though I am not going that way. now of course we all wanted to hear about Jennifer’s trip to the Esprit and tonight we had a couple there as Cindi and her wife went as did Jan and Lynn. It was nice to get Jennifer’s perspective though as she is newer to going out and this was her first time going to the Esprit. Now I have always thought that this was really more for girls who have never been out and are trying to get out for the first time or for those who are transitioning to full time or have spouses they are trying to work through things with and yes the Esprit is really geared for these things but it is also a place to meet others in the transgender community and build friendships and talking to Jennifer both Sunday night and tonight I really think the Esprit has something for everyone so in a way it is similar to Diva Las Vegas.

By the way the dates are final for this year’s Diva Las Vegas which are October 23rd to 28th so it is in the fall again. I really like it better in the spring personally but they wanted to have it around Halloween so those who want to spend Halloween in Las Vegas can just stay a little longer. I was looking back and I have been to 10 Diva Las Vegas’s over the last 12 years, wow it is hard to believe that as it seems like just yesterday, I was sitting at Starbucks talking to Peggy how I wanted to go. Any way even going to Diva Las Vegas for me the big thing is meeting people from all over the country and yes even other countries. Typically my friends and I do 4 to 6 events with Diva Las Vegas over the 7 to 9 days we are there and then spend time in our small group doing other things like golfing and sight seeing and yes gambling. There really is a lot to do in Las Vegas and if you like to people watch this is the place. Now it doesn’t matter if you go to Diva Las Vegas, Esprit or one of the other weirdo’s er transgender events but I would highly recommend going to one and meeting other transgender people especially if you don’t have any friends locally as it really does make all the difference in how yon feel. For me meeting my friends changed my life in ways I can’t even explain.

This is just my thoughts so read it all and don’t feel this is how everyone feels. Growing up I felt I was the only one who felt this way, the only male that wanted to wear makeup, get his nails done, look pretty and when I found out there were others like me, I didn’t feel so alone but I also felt like there were other weirdo’s like me out there, yes, I still viewed what I did as weird. It wasn’t till I met others like me and got to know them and realized they were not weird they were just normal people who liked to dress differently or felt they were not their true self and needed to change to be their true self. it was this that helped me realize I was not weird I just had a different view on life then a lot of people and that was okay. Once you can accept yourself for who you are your life will be way better and friend make all the difference.

Well we talked a little more and yes Jennifer had a question but almost a week later when I am writing this blog, I don’t remember what it was. We had a great evening and it was about 8:30 when girls started to sign off and by 9pm I closed down the meeting. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday night’s dinner

Love who you are, thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 22, 2022 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday Susan time and having dinner with a few friends

It is a rainy Sunday but I get to have some Susan time and tonight I also get to go out for dinner with friends. Sherri is in town today and she wanted to get together for dinner tonight and am always happy to do that, actually it will be Sherri, Claire, me and hopefully Jennifer. Now my normal Sunday is to go to the Starbuck’s near where I live for a few hours and try and get caught up on my blogs and e-mails and then either go home and make dinner or stop and get fast food depending on how late I stay at Starbuck’s but it will be different today. Now the challenge is to have my makeup look good enough to last through dinner and also, I need a look that will work for daytime and also going out to dinner as I don’t want to have to go home and redo it, also need an outfit that works for Starbucks but still looks cute enough for dinner. yes, being female there is a lot more to think about when going out. I did google Caffe Mingo to see where it was and how long it would take to get there. I figure I need to leave by 6:15 so my plan was to get ready a little later and go to Starbucks between 3:30 and 4 and spend 2 to 3 hours there catching up on things.

Well it was about 1:30 and I was just sitting at home watching TV so I decided to go transition into Susan for the day. I took my time and did a little bolder smokey eye look and a more brick red lip stick. I also decided to wear my black skirt, maroon top and 3″ ancle boots as I think this will work for Starbucks and still look nice enough for dinner tonight. Well I was all ready by 2:30 so I got a few pictures and then decided to just go to Starbucks a little earlier. I got to Starbucks at 3pm so I had a little over 3 hours which is okay as I have my Wednesday night blog and my Saturday blog to write, e-mails to catch up on and if time allows, I can get a start on todays blog.

I got to Starbucks right at 3 and it was lightly raining but the sky was dark so I think we are in for a rainy day. I went in and they were a little busy inside, this Starbuck’s even with the drive through seems to get a lot of people who come here to relax. There was one open table along the window between 2 men so I asked if the table was open and both said yes. I asked as they are kind of close to each other. I put my computer down and went and stood inline to order. There were also 2 couples at tables, 1 guy in the corner on the padded chairs and a lady with her 2 daughters, she was reading a book, one girl looked like she was doing homework and the other on a tablet. Another family came in and what I found interesting is the mother and 2 daughters sat at a table talking and the man sat in one of the padded chairs on his phone so guessing this was mother daughter time. They only stayed about ½ hour. I stayed here till 6:15 before leaving for dinner.

I got downtown about 6:45 and found a parking spot about a ½ block away so just a little early but it was a nice evening out as the dark clouds and rain from earlier had given way to some sunshine so I figured I would walk over and wait for the others outside. Well as I was walking up Sherri was getting out of an Uber so it really was perfect timing. It was great to see her and we stood outside the door waiting for Claire. A lady came out and asked us if we were eating and we told her we had reservations but were waiting for another girl. She looked at us and said you probably want the next door. Well it turns out there are 2 restaurants owned by the same guy right next to each other both Italian style but the one we are going to is a little higher end but the lady encouraged us to come back and eat at the other one next time we were downtown. Sherri and I walked to the next door and went in and were greeted and shown to our table. Now this is a smaller restaurant and looking around they only had 1 bigger table that seated 6 they could also probably pull some tables together but I am guessing 6 would be the max if we wanted to sit together so this would be a place we go when we have a smaller group.

Claire showed up and we sat and talked as Jennifer was going to be about 15 minutes late. She had drove home today from the Esprit and we were all waiting to hear how her week was. It was about 7:15 when Jennifer got there and we all ordered our dinner. Jennifer told us about her trip to the Esprit and she had a great time. she had pictures to show us and even a video of her dancing as Jennifer in heels, she had a blast. Both her and her wife said it was well worth going so if you are thinking about an event like this look into the Esprit which is usually mid-May every year.

Our food came and it was really good, a little smaller portion size but still really good and it really did have wonderful atmosphere here and as I said being a smaller place gave it that personal feel. I would recommend this place if you are in the area. We had a wonderful dinner and sat and talked afterwards. It was really nice and so glad Sherri wanted to get together tonight. We do our Wednesday night dinner every week but we can also get together on other nights also, actually I am probably willing to go out any night. it was about 9:30 when we paid our bills and called it a night. now Jennifer and I both drove as we live so far away but Claire walked and I don’t think it is good to be walking alone this late at night so Jennifer gave her a ride home, has nothing to do with being transgender as I don’t think it is safe for any woman to walk alone after dark in a city. I gave Sherri a ride back to her Air bnb as it wasn’t far away and pretty much on my way. it saved her an Uber and gave me someone to talk with a little longer. It was a wonderful evening and a great way to end the weekend.

Be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 21, 2022 Posted by | Dinner out, friends, Starbucks | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday Susan time and a badly needed trip to the nail salon

Well it is another Saturday and that means 2 things, going to the gym and some time as Susan. I got up today a little later than normal so I was a little late getting to the gym. Now my update on the gym, I have been going 3 times a week sense the last weekend of January, 1 hour on Tuesday and Thursday on my way home from work and then about 2 hours on Saturday morning. I try to get there by 9am on Saturdays so I can be home by a little after 11:30 as I stop and get gas on my way home. Today I didn’t get to the gym till 9:45 so I didn’t get home till noon which was still okay as my only real plan for the day was going to the nail salon. I have maintained short or shorter acrylic nails sense my trip to Las Vegas back in October with a clear pink on them. Now for me I really should go get a fill every 3 weeks for 2 reasons, at 3 weeks the grow out is enough that it looks bad close up but also the length. Yes, I love long nails but in my male life I don’t want them too long. now no one has said a thing about my nails the last 6 months but I know people have noticed and I think if they are to long it will raise other questions. At 3 weeks they are about 3/16 of an inch which if may not sound long but when you are talking nails it is, at 4 weeks they are 1/4 inch which is where they are now. Now Thursday at work I grabbed something wrong and broke 2 nails, go get worried as what broke was the natural nail underneath, somehow, I caught the corner of the nail. The acrylic stayed intact although I could tell both were loose on my nails and would need to be replaced so Friday was a careful day at work.

I got home at noon and had lunch before I started getting ready. I finished lunch and decided to call Dream Nails and see if I could get in today. Now all the ladies here do a great job but Anna is my favorite mainly as she uses a slightly pink acrylic which gives my nails just a little color well maybe more then just a little, you can see it better in the bottom 2 pictures. Last time I specifically asked for Anna but today I figured I would be more subtle and when she answered the phone ask if she could fit me in? She said she could and asked if I could come right now which I couldn’t as I needed time to get ready so she said how about 1:30 and I said that would be fine. When I hung up, I looked at the phone and it was 12:47, I had 43 minutes to shower, do my makeup and get dressed and to dream nails, luckily Dream nails is close by. It was a rush getting ready but I was walking out my door at 1:22 and got to Dream nails just before 1:30 and went in. they were slow today, 3 women getting pedicures and that was it, Anna was waiting for me so I sat right down.

I did point my 2 loose nails out to her and mentioned that we had just been filling them so she recommended we remove them and re-do them which is what I wanted. Anna started on my nails and removed all the old acrylic and then asked me if I wanted them shorter which I would have to do as 2 of the natural nails broke off although thinking about it now, I am guessing if I had said no, she would have put nail tips on them to get my length back. Now normally she uses the nail drill with a file wheel on it to shorten them

but being my natural nail she just used nail clippers. She trimmed them down and filed them into a square shape with rounded corners and then it was time for the acrylic. Anna did a fabulous job and they are actually shorter then normal probably because she used clippers but my nails are probably the shortest they have been in 6 months but they still look awesome. It took about an hour to do my nails and yes it was a little more expensive but I was happy with my nails.

It was 2:30 now and I decided to go to Clackamas Town Center and do a little shopping. I got there about 3 and had to park a ways out, looks like they are busy today. I went into JC Pennies and looked around, there are actually 2 things I am looking for. A couple years ago I bought a couple stretchy waist cincher to hold my tummy in and they have both worn out finally. Well all they had were panty ones and I wanted one just for my waist so no luck. I walked out into the mall for my next stop, Victoria’s Secret. I have a few bra’s I bought here that I love but they had discontinued them but it looks like they have them online again and I wanted to see if they had them in the stores. I walked down the mall and looked in the MAC store to see if Tracy was working, she is a friend of Sherri’s and came out to dinner with us once but I didn’t see her.

I got to Victoria’s Secret and went in to see if I could find the bra and it was actually the first one I saw, yes they do have them again. They are called So Obsessed and they are a padded bra that ads 1 ½ cup sizes and for me with the extra flesh I have on my chest this bra by it self looks great on me and they are the most comfortable bra I have ever worn. Yes they are $50 each but they really are worth it. I didn’t buy

any but glad they have them back. Back in February of 2016 I came here as my male self and got fitted for a bra and this was the one the lady sold me. I did spend a little time walking around the mall before I left.

On my way home I did stop at the Starbucks in Orchards for a little while, I got there about 4:30 and went in as I am once again behind on my blogs and need to catch up. Seems I just don’t have time during the week to write them plus I really like writing them when I am Susan as I feel more like I am writing about myself. The Starbucks wasn’t busy but even

with a drive through they did have some people come in to get drinks so I did get to do a little people watching which I like to do. I stayed here for a couple hours before leaving for home. I got home about 6:40 and went inside to have dinner, I had some left-over Pizza from last night and had that for dinner. it was a really good day as any day I get to be Susan and go to the nail salon is awesome.

Find what makes you happy and do it. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 19, 2022 Posted by | Dream Nails, nail salon | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner at Screen Door in the Pearl District

Well it is another Wednesday and our group is going to the Screen Door Restaurant in the Perl District. We have gone here a few times and they have good food, yes including a chicken dinner. now they are closed on Monday and Tuesday evening so I tried calling at noon today to get reservations for tonight for 5 but couldn’t reach anyone by phone just kept getting a message to go to their web page so I had to book our reservation online which is not that big a deal other then the only options were for outside dining, I guess they were booked for tonight. The only times were 6:45 or 7:45 so I booked 6:45 and sent out an e-mail of the earlier time and the fact we would be outside. They do have a covered area and outdoor heaters but still in the 60’s today but I felt it was to late to change locations.

I got home at 5 so I had an hour to get ready. Now the bad thing is while I was going through my closet last weekend, I found a new dress I bought when I was shopping with Jennifer a while back and I had planned to wear it tonight but as we are going to be outside, I felt it wasn’t warm enough. The dress has a longer hem in back, I think it is called a dipped hem dress. I decided to go with my red sweater dress which I also like of course this also determines how I do my makeup. with the red dress I like a bright red lipstick and of course for my eyes I use my rose-colored pallet which is a nice look. It was 5:40 when I finished my makeup and was starting to get dressed so I was right on time to be ready by 6 which is when I wanted to leave. My phone rang and I answered it even though I didn’t recognize the number and it turned out to be someone from Screen Door and the man asked me if I had really wanted a table outside. I told him we would much rather be inside but online didn’t give me that option but he said they could seat us inside which was great but now I was sad as I could have worn my new dress but felt it was to late to change as my makeup really did go more with the red dress. I guess I will wear my new dress next week.

I left at 6 and got downtown by 6:30 and found a parking spot a ½ block away. I was checking my emails outside to see if anyone had replied when Barb showed up so we walked in together. We were shown to our table. Shortly after Claire showed up followed by Jeannie and Amy so we were all there by 6:45 so being a little earlier was not an issue for anyone. We have several girls put of town this week so I new it would be a small group tonight but that was okay.

We all talked for a few minutes before we ordered, our waiter was great he has waited on us before. When I asked if he could do separate checks, he informed us they only did 3 per table but as we only needed 4 as Jeannie and Amy would be on same check, he said he would do 4 for us which was really nice. It seems a lot of restaurants are doing this now which I hate. I understand there is a little more cost to run more credit cards but I think they should just include that in the cost of food or just say there is an extra $1 fee for multiple credit cards. I personally never use cash and always use my credit card as I think most people do. The point is customer service and making the customer happy. Making them figure out how to split checks between them selves and pass money around is bad business and as I said this is happening at more and more places. I do like this place and I give them 5 stars but this is definitely a negative factor people should be aware of if they come here in a group.

Our food came and it was really good and yes, a lot of food as they have big portions. The first time we came here I ate all my food and it was to much, the next time I didn’t eat all of it and got a to go box but forgot it on the table so tonight my goal was to not eat all of it and remember to take my leftovers home with me. we had a wonderful dinner and wonderful conversations as we ate, the other negative thing about this place is the noise level as it is a small place and a little loud when busy and everyone talking as the tables are close and it is an open floor plan.

It was about 8:30 when we paid our bills and called it a night and yes, I had my leftovers in hand when I left. I gave Claire a ride home as she walked here tonight as she only lives several blocks away and it was nice as we got to talk a little bit more. It really was a wonderful evening. I got home about 9:30 and yes it was sad as I washed away Susan for the night. Now I am looking forward to the weekend and more Susan time

Be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 15, 2022 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday May 9th Zoom meeting

Well it is Monday May 9th and we have are weekly zoom meeting tonight. I always look forward to these meeting with my friends as they really are the next best thing to getting together in person. Now tonight may be a smaller group as we have several girls up at Esprit this week. I got home a little before 5 so I had time to get ready and enjoy my transformation. I can’t say it enough but the simple act of doing my makeup just brightens my day, it turns a bad day into a good one and a good day into a great one. I took my time and was all ready by 6pm so I had time for some pictures and to watch TV.

I started the meeting right at 7 and girls started to log on and as I thought it was a smaller group tonight. We only had 8 of us and that was okay as I still got to see some of my friends and zoom allows you to join in from wherever you are, we have members who joins us from Thai Land, Utah and up by Seattle so they get to participate even though they live so far away. It was Sherri, Claire, Danielle, Nicole, Melissa, Bree, Tori and me tonight. Now a funny story as I always try to write down or remember who made the meeting and I don’t always do that and if I am writing this blog several days later my memory is not that great and again tonight, I forgot to note who was at the meeting. Well I googled if there was a way to see this in zoom and to my surprise there is and it is pretty easy, don’t know why I didn’t think of this a year ago. I can pull up a stat page of who logged in and also how long the meeting was and how long each person was online with the meeting which is pretty cool so going forward I will be able to make sure I can list everyone.

Well we all talked for a while and caught up with what was new in everyone’s lives and yes, we have a few girls who have surgeries coming up and they are excited, actually we are all excited for them. now I have said it many times I really can’t understand how they truly feel about transitioning as I don’t have those feelings or needs but I know how I feel when I can be Susan for a while and how I feel when I can’t and that may be a poor comparison but it is the best I have. To want or need something in your life and not be able to is very hard and when you finally can or get what you need it really is an incredible feeling of completion. It kind of brings your whole life into focus. I think that is what is so great about our group, we are all on different paths and have different destinations in our lives but we can all use our own experiences and support each other even if the end results are different. Now we try to avoid talking about politics and religion but occasionally the topics do creep in and I try to change the topic especially if it looks like it will get to a point of causing contention. As I said we are a very diverse group and the one thing we all have in common is our place on the transgender spectrum but we also have our own beliefs and political views from far left to far right and every place in between and I feel that is a good thing.

So often on Facebook I see people who believe everyone who shares the same life journey they are on should believe and think the same and that is not the case. Now I will tell you why I think this is a good thing. I will use the transgender community for my example but it really fits with any group. Think if all Transgender people were far left. The only people they would really have meaningful interaction with are far left and the far right would never get to really meat or interact with them. I really think most peoples views can be changed if they can make that personal connection. Now I am not saying this happens all the time but I think it is more common then not. You here stories about people who were anti-Gay and then they find out one of their children is Gay and they rethink things. Now they may not swing 100% to support all Gay people but they will try to accept their child. We have a member in our group who’s whole family is very religious and she has come out to them and they have all accepted and supported her which is incredible. Having Transgender or gay people who are conservative can help reach those who are conservative and hopefully make positive changes so before you attack someone who thinks different than you do try to find some common ground where you can interact with them. This is why I love our Wednesday night dinner and going to new places as it gives us a chance to be seen and interact with the people around us, even if it is just them seeing us having a normal dinner. we may come in contact with someone who has never seen or thought about someone being Transgender or may only have what they have seen on TV to base their opinions on. Seeing us in person or maybe talking to us can make a world of difference. Sorry got a little off topic but I truly believe that having a diverse group of transgender people in all walks of life is a really good thing.

Well we talked for a while longer and without Jennifer here tonight we had no question of the week so the meeting was a little shorter. It was about 8:30 when girls started to log off and by 8:45 we closed the meeting down for the night. It was a good night though. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Screen Door in the Perl District.

Be happy with who you are and treat others the way you want to be treated and don’t be afraid to talk to others even if they have different views then you do, if they don’t accept you or want to talk to you then that is on them. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 14, 2022 Posted by | zoom | , , , | Leave a comment

Mother’s Day Sunday and some Susan time

Well it is Mother’s Day and I get a little Susan time, Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there and also to my mom. This is a hard day as it will be the first Mother’s Day without my nom and so I need a little Susan time today. I had things to do in the morning so it wasn’t till noon when I started getting ready for my day as Susan. I took my time getting ready and yes, I did a full eye makeup look today including false eye lashed. Doing my makeup just makes me feel good inside. I finished my makeup and then it was time to figure out what I was going to wear today and yes, I went for a casual dress and my ankle boots with the 3″ heels. I figured it was Mother’s Day and I wanted to dress up a little. I was all ready by 1:30 so I grabbed my computer and walked out the door. The weather today is supposed to be rain with the chance of thunderstorms but as I was leaving it was partially sunny and not raining so I decided to go and put flowers on my parents graves, yes I wanted to spend a little time with my mom on Mother’s Day.

I drove to the Fred Meyers in Johnson Creek and went in to get some flowers, so far it was still not raining. It only took a few minutes and I was back out to my car but it was raining lightly now but I was only 5 minutes or so from the cemetery. I got to the cemetery and there were several other people here, guess I was not the only one that was thinking this way. I parked and put on my coat and got my umbrella as eve though it wasn’t raining hard it was about 100 yard walk to my parents grave. I got there and placed the flowers and spent about 20 minutes here, I didn’t get any pictures because of the rain as I didn’t want my phone to get wet. I was glad I came. While walking back to my car it started raining harder and by the time, I got to my car it was really raining. My umbrella really only kept my head from getting wet which was fine as my makeup didn’t run. It was a little after 3 now and I decided to go to the Starbucks closer to my house for a while and get caught up on all my blogs.

I got to the Starbucks about 3:30 and went in, I was a little cold so I ordered a hot chai latte to drink and sat down at one of the tables along the window. Now they were a little busy inside and today it looked more like family’s and by that, I mean kids with parents, yes there were a few single people but mostly family’s or kids with mom’s I guess Starbucks is a place to bring mom. The other thing I did notice is more of the women had on dresses and some were really cute and some even had on heels which was great as I fit in more. I sent out the information to the group for Wednesday night’s dinner as we have settled on Screen Door and I got all caught up on my blogs, I even had time to start my blog from today, my goal is to finish it tonight before bed so I will be 100% caught up and jut have to post them.

Now a couple times while I was here the rain came down hard and as I said I like to watch it; I was really hoping for some thunder and lightning as that is my favorite thing to watch but it was just heavy rain. Now this Starbucks I know has one Transgender person working at it as I remember her old name but there is another young lady here who is newer and I was kind of watching her today and wondering. She looks very passable but it was something about the way she moved that made me wonder but then again it could just be because they are really busy and she is moving fast. Either way it doesn’t matter. Now today I did wear my necklace as I think it goes good with this dress and as I sat here in Starbucks a lady walked by and complimented me on my necklace and I thanked her, as she came back, she noted my bracelet which kind of goes with the necklace and also complimented me on that. This made me feel really good.

Now as I sat here working on my computer I couldn’t help but look at my nails as they are getting long now, a little over 3/16 of an inch. Now I was looking at my blog and it has been 3 weeks sense I got my nails done and I really should have gone yesterday or today but it is to late now so it will be next weekend when I can get them done so they will probably be ¼ inch or more by then. I stayed here till a little after 6 before leaving.

I did stop at McDonalds on the way home to get some dinner before going home for the evening. It was a great day. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.


May 14, 2022 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

A cool and rainy Saturday as Susan

Well it is Saturday and that means some Susan time later in the day. I got up about 8:30 and headed to the gym to start my day. Saturdays I spend about 2 hours at the gym, yes, I am still going to the gym 3 times a week and it has been over 3 months now. I got home about 11:30 and had lunch before starting my transformation to Susan for the rest of the day. Now I really have no plans for the day other then I want to spend part of it as Susan and yes that will mean doing something as when I am Susan I want to go someplace. I took my time getting ready as I was in no hurry and I wanted to enjoy my time getting ready. Today I did a lighter eye makeup and went for my Salmon colored dress and black leggings under it as that is a really cute look, I think. I was all ready by 1:30 and I got a few pictures.

Now it was time to figure out what to do and first on the list was my weekly grocery shopping. I really don’t need a lot mostly some produce and a few things for dinner this week but I enjoy doing my shopping as Susan. I grabbed my purse and was out the door and on my way to Fred Meyers. Now it is a rainy day actually the next few days are going to be rainy. I did go to the far door by the garden center as I can usually park closer here and as the weather is not good, I wanted to be as close as I could get. I went in and got a cart and started my shopping. It only took about 20 minutes or so and then it was up to the front to pay. As I was leaving it was really raining so I stood there in the entryway with some other people hoping it would let up. I was only about 40 feet from the door but still I would get wet. The rain tapered off to a light sprinkle and everyone headed for their cars. I got my bags in my car and no more then got in and it started raining hard again. I got home and put my groceries away and grabbed my computer and decided to go to Starbucks and catch up on my blogs as I am once again 3 blogs behind.

I went to the Starbucks in Orchards. I got there about 3:30 and went in. they were a little busy several people on their computers and one group of 4 at a table playing some kind of bord game and one lady reading a book. I sat next to her as it was the only table open where I could plug my computer in and depending on how long I stayed here I would probably need that. I ordered my drink and sat down to work on my blog from last Saturday yes it has been a busy week. I got my blog written and posted and then I sent out the information to our Monday night zoom meeting. I also e-mailed Claire and Barb about where we wanted to go for dinner this week. It will be a smaller turnout with several of the girls gone this week. Claire is taking her car in for work and probably wont have a car this week so we are going to ick a place in the Pearl District as that is close to where she lives and she can walk to dinner, I will give her a ride home afterwards though as walking alone in Portland at night I just don’t think is safe no matter who you are. The 3 places I thought of was Brix Tavern, Screen Door and Southland Whiskey kitchen all of which I loke so I asked them for any other ideas or if they liked one of these, my guess is it will be one of these 3. I then spent some time catching up on e-mails and a little work I needed to do. Like I said before I could have sat at home and done these things and if I had been my male self I would of but when I am Susan I don’t want to just sit at home and that is probably because for years whenever I was Susan I couldn’t or wouldn’t leave my house. I stayed here till about 6:30, yes there were several hard rain showers and I actually enjoyed sitting here and looking out the windows at the rain.

When I left at 6:30 I realized it would be almost 7 when I got home and figured that was a little late to be making dinner and so I went through McDonalds drive through as it was on my way home and faster. I really have tried to cut down on the fast food but it seem just so easy when I am out as Susan. I got home with my food right at 7 and turned on the TV.

Th rest of the night I would watch TV and work on Monday nights zoom meeting blog. well there was nothing on TV that sounded good so I went to my saved movies and picked a couple of them and yes, I will admit it, they were Christmas movies I saved last December. I am one of those girls that would do Christmas all year long. the 2 I watched were “Christmas next door” and “Christmas Getaway” both of which are really cute but actually Hallmark has a lot of really great Christmas Movies and other movies. It was a relaxing evening at home. It was a little after 11 when I went upstairs and washed away Susan for the night. now I will look forward to Sunday and have a little more Susan time in the afternoon, this will be Mother’s Day so I am hoping the weather lets up enough that I can go put flowers on my mom & dads grave. Yes, this is one of those days that is still hard. It is hard to believe my dad has been gone for 3 ½ years and it has been almost a year for my mom. Any way Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 9, 2022 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner at Outback Steak house

Well it is the first Wednesday night of May and we are going to Outback Steak house on Barnes Road. We have been going here every few months for dinner, it is a little more expensive but the food is wonderful. We were last here back the end of February so I figured it was time to go back and I was looking forward to it. I got home from work about 4:45 so I had time to get ready, I texted Julie to see if she was able to go and wanted me to pick her up. She got home last night from down south for the I wasn’t sure she would make it but she texted me right back she was going so I texted I would be at her house at 6pm to get her. I really love riding together as it gives us a chance to talk and catch up especially sense she has been down south for several months plus it also makes the whole thing more normal. I mean I would never hesitate to pick one of my friends up as my male self so why not as Susan. I started getting ready and yes, I would have to rush a little as I need to leave my house by shortly after 5:30 to be to her house by 6 but it really is kind of on my way

I did my makeup and used my purple eye shadow tonight and also did an ombre lip color using 2 different shades and was happy with the look, you can kind of see it in a few of the pictures but looks a lot better in real life. I also went with my black and gold dress and my open toed heels tonight. I was all ready and walking out the door at 5:35 so right on time. I got to Julie’s right at 6 and went in, she had just finished getting ready and looked awesome, she had a cute dress on also. Now what is interesting about this is I actually saw her last night as I picked her and Trixie up from the airport, of course Julie was in male node and so was I and now a day later we are both our female selves. Well we had time so we sat and talked for about 20 minutes before we left. It was a wonderful drive and we talked all the way, it took about 30 minutes so we got to the Outback at 6:45. Tonight we will have 6 of us although Jennifer will be a little late. She had a web meeting between 6:30 and 7:30 and was actually doing it from her car in the parking lot on her phone with her camera off so as soon as it ended, she could come in and join us.

Julie and I went in and were shown to our table as one of the girls was already there. Now with a smaller group we were back more in the main part so we were amongst all the other guests which I like. By 7 all but Jennifer was there, tonight we had Alanna, Claire, Barb, Julie, Jennifer and me. our waitress came over and got our drink order but we did hold off on ordering a little to give Jennifer more time. It was about 7:20 when we placed our orders and yes, I got their Rib Eye steak which I love although I almost went for the prime rib. We it was just a few minutes after we ordered when Jennifer came in. it was great to see everyone and yes with just 6 of us, we could all be involved in the same conversations which is always nice although a few times we did have multiple conversations going. These dinners are really a lot of fun, we were just 6 ladies out for dinner and I know for me I never really thought about how I was dressed I was just being me.

Our food came and it was awesome, they really do have good food here but then I love Steak. My food tastes are not real wide as Steak, Chicken or Pasta our my favorite dinners when we go out, yes, I will eat other types of food but I would be okay with just these 3 choices. My steak came with mashed potatoes and broccoli. We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation as always. After dinner we sat and talked till a little after 9 before paying our bills and calling it a night. it was such a fun night out with my friends.

As we were leaving, we got talking with a couple ladies at the next table, actually they engaged us but telling us how great we looked so we stood and talked with them for maybe 5 minutes and yes, I got a compliment on my heels from them. turns out they don’t wear heels very often although they both admitted they liked them. Heels are awesome and I love them but if you are walking a lot not the best choice and I told them I wore them tonight as I knew it would just be walking into Outback and sitting down and then walking out so they were perfect for that. I really love talking to other people     when we are out as I really think it helps them understand us better. They were able to observe us at the next table have a nice dinner just like they were, not causing a seen or being loud just a group eating and talking.

Well we left and of course I got to drive Julie home so we had more time to talk, I really missed this the last few months. I have made some really close friends actually some are more like family which is something I never thought possible for Susan. I actually have closer friends as Susan then I do my male self. it was a nice drive back to her house. I dropped her off and then had the drive home by myself. I got home a little after 10pm and washed away Susan and went to bed. Now I am looking forward to the weekend and some Susan time. Next week will be a little quiet as Julie will be out of town and several of our girls will be up at Esprit but we will still have our zoom meeting and dinner.

Find what makes you happy and don’t dwell on the negative things. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 8, 2022 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , | Leave a comment

First Monday of May zoom meeting

Well it is the first Monday of May and we have our weekly zoom meeting tonight and also as it is the first Monday we make a special invitation to the wives, girlfriends & significant others to join us and have a breakout room in case they would like to talk just between themselves. I really look forward to this meeting as it is nice to be able to talk with them even if just a short period till, they go off to their separate room. We really do have some wonderful partners of some of the girls in the group which is awesome. I got home a little before 5 so I had plenty of time to get ready and enjoy transforming myself. I took my time as I wanted to look my best yes, I do put just a little more effort in on this meeting as we have some Cis women here and I feel I need to step it up more. I did a more dramatic eye look and a bold red lipstick and was happy with my look for the night. Actually I do put way more effort into how Susan looks then my male self as really for a man there is not much to do, shave, brush teeth and comb hair and put on clean clothes. For Susan it is a nice makeup and yes, I do sometimes try to match my makeup to my clothes, the hair and jewelry and then the outfit and heels and everything needs to compliment each other.

I was all ready by a little after 6 so I did get some pictures and then watched TV till 7 when I started the meeting. I started the meeting just before 7 and Sherri was the first to log on and it didn’t take long for the rest of the girls to sign on. Tonight we would have 15 including Sherri, Kit, Melissa, Nicole, Cindi, Lynn, Jule, Jennifer, Danielle, Tori, Jan, Mary Anne, Bree, Emily, and me this included 4 significant others. We talked for a little bit and caught up and let the girls share things in their lives before we broke the spouses off to their own room. Now we did have one new girl tonight Jule so we asked if she wanted to introduce herself which she did. Turns out she is a spouse of a transgendered woman and was recommended to the meeting to speak with the other spouses. Now we don’t know who her spouse is as she didn’t say and we didn’t ask although I am sure we were all wondering. To be honest I can’t even say for sure if her spouse is a member of our group. I do send the link out to just our members but it is possible one of the girls in the group shared the link with her which is fine as the point of this is to give the spouses a chance to talk openly and honest amongst themselves as I think that can be very beneficial. I know my being able to talk to other transgender woman helped me come to terms with this part of who I am.

Well the rest of us talked for a while. Several of our girls have surgeries coming up in the next month or two and so we got an update and this and even though I am not going to transition it is interesting to hear about this, there is a lot involved with transitioning and if it is what you want or need it can be life saving for you. We also talked about Esprit which will start next Sunday May 8th and go through the 15th and we have several of our girls going to that so guessing next weeks zoom meeting and dinner will be a smaller group. I have never gone to it but from the girls who have they say it is awesome especially if you have never been out or only have very limited experience going out. Having a group to go out with can make all the difference as I know before I joined the Rose City T-girls it was very hard to go out, having that support network and friends to talk with and go out with makes everything easier. Speaking of which there is talk in our group about changing the name as some don’t like the term tgirl. now for me I don’t have a problem with Tgirl and I have 14 years of being associated with the group under that name so I kind of hope we don’t change the name but either way it is the girls in the group and the friendships I have made that is the most important thing although I will probably always think of the group that way.

Now we are also talking about going to a static web page that tells about the group and directs people to join out Group IO e-mail list and getting rid of the members only part to make it easier to maintain. This all came about as we have had Melissa managing our web site and she has done an awesome job with it but she has been managing it for 7 years now and it does take a lot of work and time and I think she is getting a little burned out on maintaining it plus this past week the company we use to host it did an upgrade and crashed our site and it would need to be rebuild to work correctly so for now it just points to our Group IO. It really dos take a lot of work to maintain a big group like this from all the tech stuff to arraigning events and keeping everyone happy and interested and all of our group is maintained on a volunteer basis and most of the cost are covered by a handful of girls and we are happy to do it as the group means so much to us and has had such a huge impact on our lives.

Danielle did talk to Melissa a little as she does have some experience with building and maintaining web sites and she may help out as she has a lot of free time as she is retired. Our group actually has about 300 members but of those 300 there is about 20 to 30 of us that go out somewhat regular and maybe another 10 to 20 that we see every once in a great while but I am always hopeful maybe some of the other girls will start coming out as life is so much better when you can be yourself. Any way I am not sure what the future holds for the group as far as a name or web page but the group will survive and grow.

Well we talked a little longer and Nicole asked me about the clothes she dropped off. Nicole gets clothes a couple times a year from others that get passed along. You look though and see if there is anything you like or want and put things you no longer need or want into the bags and pass them on to the next person. Any way Nicole dropped off 7 bags for me to go through I think back in February and I finally got through them, didn’t find anything I wanted that fit me. Any way the thought was to have Jan & Lynn take them to the Esprit for their clothing exchange there which was a great ID so Lynn will stop by later in the week and pick them up. then girls started to sign off for the night so by 9 we were down to just a few of us and we ended the meeting for the night. it is always sad to see the night come to an end but now I am looking forward to Wednesday night dinner at Out Back Steak house.

Have a great week and love who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 8, 2022 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A little Susan time on Saturday

It is the last Saturday of April and I will get a little Susan time today. Now tomorrow I have to work and it will be an early and long day so I want to be in bed early tonight so it will be a short day. I did get up today and went to the gym again so yes, I am still working out 3 times a week. I still haven’t lost weight but I do feel a lot better which is what is the most important thing. I got home and had lunch and it was about 12:0 when I started getting ready. I took my time doing my makeup as this is one of my favorite things.

I was all ready by 1:45 so I did get a few pictures. Now it was time to figure out what to do. I decided to go to Starbucks for a few hours and catch up on my blogs, e-mail and other things. Now as Susan I do go to Starbucks a lot but I look at it this way. This is my personal time to do things I need to do on my computer and normally I would just sit at home and do it but it is more fun to be out in public with other people especially if I can be Susan. For years my time as Susan was just in the privacy of my home by myself but now I can go out and really no one cares. Yes I am sure I do get some looks although any more I don’t even notice anymore.

I went to the Starbucks right by my house as they close at 5:30 so I don’t stay out to late. I got there and went in and they were a little busy but there was 1 open table along the window so I put my computer on it before I went and got in line to order. Now this is a smaller Starbucks and has no drive through so you have to come in to get your drink so it really is a great place to people watch. I ordered my normal drink, sweetened green ice tea and then sat down and worked on my blog.

It was a relaxing and enjoyable afternoon and I stayed here till 5:30 when they closed. I left here and went to McDonalds drive through to get dinner to take home. Now as I waited in line at the drive through I saw something I thought was funny and it is not is not about politics. There was an employee standing outside and she was wearing her face mask outside alone. Now again this is not about politics or if you should wear a face mask. That is a personally choice and I will support everyone’s right to chose what is right for them. she was outside for a smoking break and what I found funny was she would pull her mask down and smoke then pull it back up till she smoked again. I just thought it funny. I got my food and went home for the night.

I ate dinner and watched TV till 10pm before washing away my makeup and all traces of Susan before going to bed. It was a relaxing day and spending part of it as Susan. now I am looking forward to Monday nights zoom meeting.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

May 7, 2022 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , | Leave a comment

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