Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Memorial Day weekend and out on a Saturday night

Wow it has been a couple busy weeks for my male side so not much Susan time so I was so glad I was going to get to go out tonight. It is amazing how much I miss my girl time when I can’t dress, I really do have a need to dress. Hopefully things will settle down in a couple weeks. Now as Monday is Memorial Day I wanted to wish all our Service men past, present and future and their families a big thanks for the sacrifices they have made for our country.

I started getting ready at 5 and I could feel the stress go away and a calming effect on me right away, as I said I do need to have time as Susan to keep my life in balance. I really do enjoy my time getting ready, doing my makeup and thinking about what dress and heels to wear. Now I did my makeup a little different tonight as I did my eye makeup before my foundation, I saw this in a video and wanted to give it a try. Not sure if I liked it though, it was easier to clean up any fallout from the eye shadow but a little harder to blend the foundation around my eyes. My eyes did turn out really well though.

Now it was time to choose my dress for the night and I had several ideas. As I was looking through my closet I saw my black and white dress I bought probably a year ago. I have never worn it as it is a tight dress and I wanted to lose some weight first so it would look better but as it has been a year and I still haven’t lost the weight I decided to wear it. Of course this would mean a waist cincher and padding on my hips to make it look right. It really is a cute summer time dress.

I got in my car and I was off and on my way by 6:20, I got to the Escape and there were a lot of cars there already, I got the last parking spot so I felt lucky. Cristine and Cassandra were already there, Cassandra n her computer. Cassandra loved my dress and told me how cute it was, just imagine what it would look like if I lost 20 LB’s. Well of course I had to get a picture so I had Cassandra take one. It really looked good and of course I was looking at the dress and didn’t notice I had my eyes Susan's new dressclosed or I would have gotten another picture. Now I thought about not posting it but then I realized it showed my eye makeup really well so here it is.

Now being a Holiday weekend I wasn’t sure how many girls would be out. I got out my computer and set it up on Paltalk, I actually went a head today and signed up and paid for a year. Still not sure how much I will use it but figured I would give it a year and then next year I will decide if I used it enough to renew it. it is kind of funny as Cassandra and I were both in the same chat room and you could see Cassandra behind me on my web cam and of course you could see me behind her on her web cam.

Shadow and Blair both showed up which was nice, They don’t come out much but this is the second time in the last 6 weeks or so. I got a chance to talk with them some which was nice as I got to know them better which is always nice. It is kind of hard to really get to know each other as we are all still cautious on how much information we give out. I consider some of these girls my best friends and yet they don’t know a lot about me.

Jan and Lynn also made it out tonight which was awesome. Jan just had a birthday so it was good to see her. Dee & Cassie also made it out tonight and another girl so we had a good turnout tonight. It was a really fun night. I did have fun chatting tonight online and did get a chance to chat with Melissa for a little bit which was nice. Dee travels and only gets to Portland every so often, she brought her dg with her tonight so she was going out regular to check on him and let him out so I got to go out and see her dog, very friendly. so her we are out by the corner standing there in our dresses with her dog talking as the cars went by, have to wonder what they were thinking as they passed us.

Karaoke started and of course it got busier then but it was still a quiet night here probably because of the Holiday. It was a fun night and  stayed out till almost midnight. Now as I said I will have limited Susan time for the next couple weeks but I do plan on being out next weekend on Friday and Saturday as I have a friend Cherie who will be in town for work, She lives in Australia, It will be good to see her and get a chance to talk with her again. Maybe even go shopping next Saturday.

Thanks for reading.


May 24, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Red Dress Party 2015 what an awesome event.

Well Saturday night was the Red Dress Party and I had a chance to go. My friend Julie had 2 tickets and her girlfriend couldn’t go so she invited me, Thanks Julie. Now I was really looking forward to this as I have never been to one of these before even though Julie has gone many times. If you have never heard of the Red Dress Party it is a fundraiser and all the money is donated to Charities this year Charities is Cascade AIDS Project and Our House. Everything for this event is donated and the people who put it together and work it are all volunteers. Now Tickets are kind of expensive $75 to $150 but it includes everything, food, drink and entertainment. Now as it is all donations they hold them in vacant warehouses so it is in a different place every year.

Now I started getting ready for this at 4 pm as I really wanted to enjoy the time getting ready as it was like I was getting ready for a prom and I wanted to look as good as I could. I was driving tonight so I was going to pick Julie up a little after 7so I would need to leave my house by 6:45. it is such a wonderful feeling when I can relax and take my time getting ready. now I as I have never been to one of these before I texted Julie about heels and if we would be able to sit or would we be standing all night as I really wanted to wear my 4” heels as they are so cute, Julie texted back that there would be some sitting and she was wearing 3” heels so I went for it but I did also put my 3” wedges in the trunk just in case. I was ready and on my way by 6:40 and got to Julie’s right at 7. Julie was almost ready but took the time to show me around her beautiful house.

We left about 7:15 and there was no traffic so we got downtown Portland by 7:30, now there are no parking lots in this area so it is all street parking and we were early enough that we found a spot about a block away, wow things were going perfect. Laura was just arriving and parked right across the street from us. Now we did have VIP tickets so we got to go in at 8 so we only had a half hour to wait. Laura came over and we  talked for a while before we walked over and got in line. Now as we stood in line we got talking to the people in front of us, 3 guys and a girl and as you can imagine everyone was in a red dress. It was a little after 8 when they started letting people in. Now we had no more than walked in and I saw someone I knew and they would not be the last. Actually within the first 10 minutes we were there I saw 5 people I knew and they were not there for the party they were working it. Now 4 of them I didn’t know really well but one I did so I would be on the lookout for her all night, actually it was dark enough in here that I really didn’t think she would recognize me. Julie and I went in while Laura waited for her friend Ginny. We got some food and went back to Julie, Me, Laura & Genni at teh red dress party 2015the VIP area so we could sit down. Laura and Ginny finally caught up with us and we had to get a picture, Left to right is Julie, me, Laura and Ginny.

Now we took several pictures and this was the best group pictures of us. This is one of me sitting resting mySsuan at the red dress party 2015 feet. Now it was different tonight as I am not use to having to keep my purse with me all the time as we really didn’t have one place to sit and as I said it was somewhat dark in here and there were hundreds of people here.

Well it was time to walk around and see what was going on. We walked out to the dance floor and ran into Marla and Jamie. It has been a while since we have seen them so it was good to talk with them, now it really wasn’t easy to talk as the music was really loud. Now it was really fun to people watch here and with all the people here in red dresses I really didn’t see the same red dress twice so it is amazing how many different red dresses there are. Now I was surprised as it was about 75% men in dresses, I don’t know why I thought it would be more of an even split but this is what the Party is all about.

We walked outside to get a little fresh air and see if some of the other girls showed up as we knew w few more were coming. We ran into Little Julie and a couple others from our group so we were up to 9 of us now. I could not believe how many people were here and it was still early. As we were looking around we ran into Lilly and her wife and one of their friends, it was great to see them again so we had a pretty good showing of our group here. While we were talking to them we discovered that the other end of the warehouse also had a dance area and more people up there so Julie and I walked up to see what was going on there and ran into Kitty from our group.

Now by this time it was about 10 and being a warehouse the floor was concrete and I have been walking around in my 4” heels and the balls of my feet were killing me now. Although these are really cute heels and I love them they were not the right choice So I told Julie I was going out to the car to change shoes, I am glad I brought the other pair. I walked to where you go in and out and the lady I know was there taking tickets so I sat and waited for a little bit for her to leave as I didn’t want to risk coming face to face with her. I made it to my car and switch heels and my feet felt so much better.

I got back inside and found Julie and the others back in the VIP section, they were up on an elevated stand where we had a good view of all the people. There were red dresses as far as the eye could see. Now there were 3 ladies down talking by the bar in the VIP area that had on really cute dresses. Julie and I went down to get a drink so I had to tell them how cute their dresses were and we ended up talking for a while. Turns out they came to Portland from LA just for the party. They were so awesome Red dress party 2015 (1)and of course I had to get a picture with them. Now we were having so much fun tonight and we met so many wonderful people to talk to.

Later we walked back to the other side of the warehouse and Julie actually got me out on the dance floor for a little bit. Now I still am not that comfortable dancing but it was kind of fun and Julie helped me so I didn’t look as bad as I thought I would at least I am hoping. It really was a fun night and I really thank Julie for inviting me.

The night went by so fast and it was already 1 am. It looked like it was starting to wind down and people had left but there was still a good crowd there. I bet they had over 1,000 people here tonight a truly awesome event and all for charity. I am really thinking of going again next year.Red dress party 2015 (2)

Thanks for reading.

May 17, 2015 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Red Dress | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Manicure and Pedicure for Susan

Well I got home today and decided I was going to go get a manicure and pedicure. My toes although not looking that bad yet even though it has been 6 weeks since my last one I wanted to get it done this week. I am going to the Red Dress party this Saturday night and my toes need to look perfect and I also wanted them red for the occasion. I called Dream Nails as soon as I got home and got an appointment for 4:30 with Anna the lady I have been going to since last fall. Now Dream nails is close to where I live but that makes it more convenient as I usually can’t plan that far ahead. Now my plane was to get my nails done and then go to Starbucks for a couple hours to catch up on things and of course let my toes fully dry.

I was ready by 4:15 and looked out my window and 3 of the neighbor boys were playing basketball in the street. Now I didn’t have much time so there really wasn’t much I could do. I went and got my computer and went to the garage and put it in my trunk and got in my car. I took a deep breath and opened the garage door to go and to my surprise they were going into the house, wow how lucky. I left my house and drove to Dream nails and went in, it was only 4:20. Anna was just finishing with another lady so she had me sit down in the next chair and filled the tube with water so I could soak my feet.

She finished with the other lady and then it was my turn. Now the last time I was here I got gel polish and it was still pretty much on my nails except where they had grown out. Anna put little cotton balls with acetone on my fingers and wrapped them with aluminum foil. I have seen woman in nail salons like this and always wondered why, now I know. I sat there like that the whole time she did my pedicure. Now I love getting pedicures as they are so relaxing and my feet look so wonderful when they are done. It really is something everyone should experience and I would highly recommend Dream nails and Anna. It took her about 45 minutes for the pedicure and now I had beautiful red toes.

We moved over to the manicure table and she started on my fingers, first scraping the softened polish off and then filing them. Then came the gel polish, she told me she had the same color red I had put on my toes and I so wanted to say yes but I could never have red fingers when I was at work so I declined and went with a clear coat which again is really shiny but I have a matt polish I can put over it. It seems so strange to go get such pretty shiny nails only to cover them up but I am not that confident in my male life yet to have such pretty nails at work. Now the good part of the gel polish is it is dry in 30 seconds as they have a dryer you put your hand in. now the bad part is as they grow out they look bad, they are kind of like acrylic nails in that way. You almost need to go every 3 weeks to keep them looking good which is a little much for me. I seem to be on a 6 to 7 week rotation so I may go back to regular polish next time as it is also cheaper and as I just cover them up it kind of makes sense, well I have 6 weeks to think about it. It was a little before 6 when I was done.

I drove out to my favorite Starbucks and went in and got a warm drink and sat down to play on my computer and catch up on e-mail. They were pretty busy when I first got here but there was one table open so I took it. Starbucks really is a comfortable place to go for a couple hours and do things on your computer. It has been a good day even with the rain.

Thanks for reading.

May 12, 2015 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape

Well I have been out all day but still wanted to go to the Escape bar and grill tonight. Now the Starbucks I was at is only a couple miles away so I got to the Escape about 6:30 and was the first one there. It wasn’t long and Cristine and Cassandra showed up. Now it was a real quiet night here as a matter of fact it was just the 3 of us till 10:30 when Cassandra called it a night, now there were 4 other people in the bar too. We sat and talked and of course both Cassandra and I had our computers going. it was a relaxing and fun night.

After Cassandra left I stayed as Cristine’s ride didn’t get there till 11:30. it was about 11 when people started showing up and within a few minutes it was really busy and Karaoke was going. A few of the ladies came over and talked to us and told me how pretty my dress was which I always like hearing.

It was time to leave so I went up to pay my bill and there was a woman there that looked familiar and I could see she was looking at me. now I wasn’t to worried about it as I just figured I had seen her someplace before. well it turns out I was right as she came over and started talking to me. I use to play shuffle board with her years ago at the P-Club. She use to go there with her boyfriend but after we got kicked out she stopped going there because of what happened. She had always wondered what had happened to our group. This was really one of the sad things about this as we had made some good friends there which we lost touch with. we talked for a while and got caught up. I told her about what we have been doing and where we have been going so hopefully we will see her again.

It was a good night out.

May 10, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A meeting and a day of Susan with a little shopping.

Well I got up today at 8 am and started getting ready. I am actually going to spendlips (2) the day as Susan. The main reason is about a week ago I was contacted through my blog by a lady named Lola Wallace she has a photo web page where she does photos of people she finds fascinating and she wanted to do a photo section of me, she has been looking for someone who is transgender of a crossdresser. Now I did find the offer interesting so I agreed to meet her today at Starbuck’s downtown Portland at 10:30.

I was ready to leave by 10 and on my way downtown. Now I hadn’t thought about this being the Starbuck’s at Pioneer Courthouse Square which is right in the center of the city and not much street parking nearby. I actually ended up parking in a parking garage 3 blocks away as it was the easiest and only $5 for all day, of course I wouldn’t be downtown all day. Now driving there I could see all the people walking around downtown so I knew it would be a good day for people watching. The walk to Starbucks was relaxing. Now as I thought this Starbuck’s was really busy and I had to stand in line behind about 12 people, luckily as it is a really nice warm day everyone was getting their drinks to go and going out to the square to sit so I was able to find a table. I finally got to order and then had to stand in line to wait for my drink.

Now I will admit after the incident I had yesterday on Facebook with that one girl I was a little nervous as I really had no idea who I was meeting but Lola e-mailed me she was on her way and sent me the link to her page so I could check it out while I waited which was nice as I knew she was real. She showed up a little before 11.

We sat and talked and I learned a little about her and told her a little about me. She wanted to know what I thought of her doing a photo page of me and if I had any ideas for it which I didn’t. I mean for me a picture is just that. She had a couple ideas one of which was before and after photos which I will admit would be really cool to do but as I am still in the closet shall we say as far as people knowing about me I was not willing to do that. Her other ideas were pictures while I was out shopping or out socializing with my friends. Both have good and bad points as I love to go shopping and I am comfortable with that but then I am trying to blend in having someone there taking pictures of me while I shop would be different and draw a lot of attention to me. The other option when I am out with my friends also would be fun but then I also have to think about them also and if they would be comfortable with someone taking pictures, for this one I would have to ask them first. We talked for maybe 45 minutes and I told her I would think about it and let her know.

After she left I stayed there for a little bit updating my blog from last night and catching up on e-mails. This is a really busy place and I don’t think they ever had less than 5 people in line so it was a good spot for people watching. I was also sitting by the window so I could watch people walk by and also down in the square. It was about 12:30 pm when I left here and I walked around a little downtown window shopping, I didn’t go in any places as I had my computer bag with me and I didn’t want to be walking around a store with a bag, I don’t like to do that as it tends to cause the employees to watch you. I finally walked back to the parking garage and left. Now I really didn’t have any plans for the day but I do need to get a Mother’s Day gift, yes I put it off to the last minute as I have been real busy the last few weeks, but I know what I am getting her so really all I have to do is go pick it up.

Now I was hungry as I hadn’t eaten this morning so as I was going by Lloyd Center I saw a Burger King and decided to stop. Now this Burger King is kind of special as it was kind of my first place I let Susan be seen. Years ago when I was still working up courage to go out I would make late night drives, yes I wouldn’t even think of leaving my home before 10 pm and this is the Burger King I would stop at and go through the drive through at like midnight but I have never gone inside. I parked and went in and got lunch. They weren’t that busy though. Now after I ate I went to use the bathroom and the doors were locked with a sign customers only so I went to the counter and asked for the key, I didn’t specify which as I was curious about which one they would give me. The girl walked over and instead of a key pushed 1 of 2 button on the wall to unlock it. I walked back over wondering which one she had unlocked turns out it was the woman’s, good for Burger King.

I got on the freeway and traffic was backed up in both directions so it took me a little while to get where I was going. Cascade station by the airport as I was going to get her a new monitor for her computer, hers is old and small and they have a best buy here and I have already priced them out online. Now just like downtown the shopping center was packed and traffic was bad so I went to the far end to get in to avoid the traffic and as I went by Staples I decided to go in and see what they had. They actually had a really nice one on sale so I bought it here instead. It is funny that I was buying her gift as Susan but then again I have done a good portion of my Christmas shopping the last 2 years as Susan. Now I have a rewards card at both places so I gave the guy at the counter my phone number and he pulled up my account so I used my male credit card today for this purchase.

It was after 3 now and I didn’t want to go home yet and really I am not far from the Escape where the girls will be meeting tonight at 7 and wouldn’t you know it there is a Starbuck’s right across the parking lot from Staples which I have gone to many times, probably my second favorite Starbuck’s so I put the monitor in my trunk and grabbed my computer and walked over to Starbuck’s. Again this one was also really busy I guess the nice weather just brings people out so I had to stand in line again. Again most are getting them t go or sitting outside but still busy inside but I did find a table by the door where I could people watch.

Now I am sitting here doing my blog and also on Paltalk, Cassandra is DJ’ing one of the rooms so I am kind of keeping an eye on her. I will hang out here for a little longer as I have some e-mails I need to catch up on and a little work and then I will go to the Escape tonight. It has been a fun day so far and I still have the evening to go. Thanks for reading.

May 9, 2015 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night girls night out.

Well this week was a little less busy and I hope things will slow down now for  while so I can have more Susan time. I started getting ready early tonight so I could take my time as I really enjoy the getting ready. I was on my way by 6:15 and got to Sweethome by 6:45. Chris and Cristine were already there. We had a smaller group tonight as only a couple more girls showed up.

Now I did have a bad experience on Facebook this week, a girl friended me which is no problem. but then she started sending me messages about wanting my help and wanted to come over to my house and have me do her makeup. now we have only sent a couple of messages and there are friends I have gone out with many times over the last several years that don’t know my address or my male name so I told her I was not willing to give that information out and directed her to a business here in the Portland area that does transformations where she could go and get help. now she is sending me messages about how mean I am to her and what a phony I am. I wonder if there are people out there that would give that kind of information out to a total stranger, it really has nothing to do with being a crossdresser I just don’t think that is a good idea for anyone. Any way I am going to have to block her now.

well it was not a real busy night tonight but than it is more about being out and being with my friends. I think it is important to be able to do the normal things in life no matter if I am in male or female mode. I think this is how we learn to accept ourselves and who we are. I have thought a lot about this over the years and it really is true, Susan makes me the person I am just as much as my male side no matter how I am dressed. without her I would not be the same person I am. every part of our lives impacts us in some way and shapes the person we are. So I guess what I am saying is that if people suddenly dislike you because they find out about this side of you they never really liked you as what they liked about you was shaped by this side of you. Wow I wished I had learned this many years ago it is something a lot of transgender people struggle with.

Well back to tonight. It was fun to be out again and what a great way to start ath weekend. it is amazing how much being with friends and other people can make you feel so good. I have really made some good friends here even though they only know me as Susan. Heather was here tonight and she is always so nice, she really makes my night when I get to talk with her. Mareinna was also out tonight, she hasn’t been out as much so it was good to see her. I got a chance to talk with her for a while. she is still learning about this side of herself. I think back many years ago when I was trying to make sense of my dressing and why I liked it, it is a hard thing to figure out. She has a lot of good friend though who support her and that makes a big difference. I hope she comes out more. O did play on Paltalk some and actually had my cam going most of the night sometimes just showing the bar and the people walking by.

Karaoke started and of course Chris sang. it really is fun and I enjoy listening to the people who sing even the bad ones. now here is a funny story, one lady came by and wanted me to dance with her and I explained I didn’t dance but she was not taking no for an answer. she grabbed my hand and literal pulled me up so I did the best I could and believe me it was worse than I thought. now I did have my 4” heels so that didn’t help but I am not a good dancer and this proved it.

It was about 11:30 when I left. I am actually getting up earlier in the morning as I am going out for the day. here is another funny story. A local lady who has a photo web page and does photo essays on people saw my blog and contacted me. she is interested in doing a photo essay of me as she has been looking for someone who is transgender or a crossdresser to shoot. I am not sure about it although the idea interest me. I agreed to meet her at Starbuck’s downtown Portland at Pioneer Square at 10:30 am to talk about it. Either way I will have a girls day out tomorrow.

Thanks for reading.


May 9, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dinner out at Spaghetti Factory

It is Wednesday night and our group is going out for dinner at the Spaghetti Factory down on the South waterfront. Now we have reservations at 7 and this would normally be fine but I got off work late. I got home at 5:30 so I really had to rush which takes the fun out of dressing but sometimes a girl has to sacrifice. Well things went right and I was ready to leave at 6:15, I think that is a personal record for getting ready. Traffic was lite also so I actually made it there by 6:45. Now they were really busy so I had to park way out in the parking lot.

Now all the girls were there but they were still in the front waiting for our table to be ready. There were 9 of us for dinner tonight, Cristine, Cassandra, Jan, Lynn, 20150506_212558Jennie, Amy, Joan and Karla. Now this is a picture of us. Now this is a big restaurant right on the river, we got to sit in one of the street cars inside and there was another big group of 8 young girls at the table next to us, they were there celebrating a birthday.

Now our waitress was awesome and the food was wonderful. We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation. now as we were finishing our dinner they brought deserts to the other group and they were going to sing happy birthday to the girl having the birthday so we all joined in and sang along. I think they enjoyed it even though we are not the best singers.

Now I got a good chance to talk with Joan, Jennie and Amy as we were at the one end of the table. It was really nice to get to know them a little better. I also got to talk to Karla, she is our newest member and this was her first time out with our group. She is full time and has been for a couple years but just moved here not to long ago and found our group. She seems really nice and I look forward to getting to know her better. I hope she continues coming out with the group.

It was a really fun night and went by so fast. it was 9:30 before we new it. Now we are going to try different restaurants on Wednesdays and expand where we go as I think new places will get some of the girls out. We really do have an awesome group here in Portland and I am lucky to have found them and be a part of them.

Thanks for reading.


May 7, 2015 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Girls night out at Harvey’s

Well it is Saturday and our group is going to Harvey’s Comedy club tonight. We go the first Saturday of every month and is one of the most fun things we do. Now some of us meet at Fox & Hound first so we can have some social time and the restlips (2) just meet us at Harvey’s. It was about 5:15 when I started getting ready. Now tonight I did a little different looks on my eyes, still using the brown shadows but blended it a little different and I think it turned out well. I was ready and out the door by 6:20.

I got downtown and parked where I normally do about a block from Fox & Hound. As I was walking down the street Cassandra parked right in front of the door and went in. It is funny how comfortable I am walking down the street as I didn’t even think about how I was dressed. Now I have been thinking about this and there is good and bad side to this, the good is I pretty much go where I want to but on the bad side I may not always be thinking in the safest way. I use to always be looking around me when I was out and I notice I really don’t do that anymore so I am not always aware of who is around me so I will have to make more of an effort to pay attention when I am out.

I got inside and Laura and Cassandra were already there. We sat at the bar for a while and talked and watched the end of game 7 of the NBA playoff game between the Spurs and the Clipper, The Clippers won in the last seconds of the game. Jan and Lynn also showed up so we all sat there talking and waiting in case any others showed up here before it was time to leave for Harvey’s. It was about 8:15 when we decided to leave for Harvey’s. Now it was nice out now but would be a little chilly tonight when the show was over so Cassandra thought we should all get in her car and drive over. Now I do like the walk but it was a little windy and I really didn’t want windblown hair so it was a good idea. Now it was a tight fir but the 5 of us managed to squeeze in.

We found a parking spot a block from Harvey’s and now we had to get out of the car. Now with that many squeezed in there really was no graceful way to get out of the car especially in a short dress but I did my best. We got inside and Cristine was there already. Now Amy showed up, she is Jennie’s friend who was coming straight from work in boy mode so they were meeting here. Julie, Trixie, Sophia, Cassie and Jennie also showed up so we were going to have a good group tonight, we had 12 of us. We sat around and talked for a while waiting for the late show. Now it started to get crowded as tonight should be a good show and there was standing room only now so it was good we got here a little early. It was time to go in and we let the rest of the people go in as we had our table reserved.

We got inside and our favorite waitress Kim came over, she is really more than our waitress, she is our friend and even a member of our group. She is always happy to see us just as we are happy to see her. We got to talk with her a little even though she was working. We all orders and then it was time for the show to start. Now they have an MC who gets maybe 10 minute and then the opening comedian and the headliner. Now we have never had a bad show here but there are comedians that are better than others and that was the case tonight. Don’t get me wrong they were all really good but the headliner was incredible, it has been a while since I have laughed that hard. His name was Gabriel Rutledge and he was so funny. If you ever get a chance to see him you must. Now I had planned on getting pictures tonight as I wanted one of my eyes as I think they turned out really well but as always I forgot. Funny how getting pictures was always a priority but as I have gone out more and gotten comfortable being out I don’t think about pictures any more plus I bet I have over 2,000 pictures of Susan on my computer.

The night went by so fast and before we knew it the show was over. We sat and let the showroom empty out as we were really in no hurry plus it gave us a chance to talk with Kim a little more. This week on Wednesday we are going to dinner at Spaghetti Factory and Kim is going to try to join us which will be so much fun. Actually the bartender from the lounge is also thinking of joining us for dinner so it will be a lot of fun. I am looking forward to this and plan on going but probably won’t make it by 7 so I told them I would be there but a little late.

On the way out we talked with the comedians and told them how much we liked the show. Outside we all said our goodbyes. Jan Lyn walked back to Fox & Hound with Cristine and Cassandra gave Laura and I a ride back to where we parked. It was a good night.

lipstick (2)Thanks for reading.

May 3, 2015 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night and the end of a long and busy week.

Wow it has been a busy week I am so glad for Friday, I am ready for some Susan time. I had really hoped to get out for a manicure and pedicure this past week but I just couldn’t fit it into my schedule. Women are lucky in this as they can just stop on their way home from work or while out doing other things, me I have to prepare, an hour at least to get ready so I can’t just fit it in on the spur of the moment. Maybe I can fit it in next week but if not for sure the following week. lips (2)

I got home late from work so it was a rush to start getting ready. It was right into the shower, somehow the shower is more relaxing when I know it is getting Susan ready. When I got out of the shower I could hear people outside so I looked out my front window and the neighbors were all working in their yard doing major yard work as the had a truck and trailer in front of my house they were loading braches and yard debris in and the people across the street were over talking to them and about 10 kids were playing basketball in the street. It was going to be interesting to leave tonight but I still had my makeup and nails to do plus get dressed so I still had about 45 minutes.

It was just before 7 when I was ready so I grabbed my purse and computer and went downstairs and the truck in front of my house was gone and no one was outside, they must have finished so it would be an easy drive out. It is funny as I know now that the weather is getting nicer the neighbors will be out more when I leave. Well left my garage and was on my way. I got to Sweethome at 7:15 so just a little later than normal and wouldn’t you know it there were 3 of the 5 parking spots open so I got one right by the door, funny the nights it rains and is cold I have to park further away, tonight being sunny and warm I get to park close.

I got inside and Chris had his computer on the table but I didn’t see him so I sat down and got out my computer. Chris came back and it was good to see him again, I really enjoy my time out with friends. Kelsie was also there tonight I met her one of the first times I came here, she is really nice and always stops by and talks to us, tonight though she was at our table and spent the whole night with us so I got a chance to really talk with her which I enjoy.

I also got online and went to Paltalk for a little bit. Cassandra was online in her room so I spent a little time there. I also caught up on some e-mails, the news and also checked out my stock. It is funny as I did the same things I would have done as a guy well with the exception of being on cam on Paltalk. Really my time as Susan is no different than my time as my male self-other than how I am dressed, I am still the same person other than being more relaxed and comfortable. It is funny as I have really thought more about my life sense Bruce Jenner did his interview which by the way I thought was great.

I think it is good to every once in a while look at yourself and your life and see how it is going, just like I do with my stocks. This kind of self-reflection is good as it keeps you on track and I must say I am happy with my life. I have no desire to transition but I do love being Susan. I have grown so much over the last 10 years or so and I am sure I will continue to grow as we all do. 20 years ago just dressing at home was enough, then it was going out for late night drives. 10 years ago I met friends and started going out and that was what I wanted to go out occasionally. Over the last 5 to 7 years Susan has become more a part of me, dressing at home is no longer something I really want to do. I want to go out when I dress. The occasionally being Susan is now a weekly thing I need and I really try for a couple nights a week. Susan is as much a part of me as my male self in every way.

Now no one knows what the future holds for them and where I will be in 10 or 20 years but I do know Susan will be a big part of me. One of the fun questions some of my friends like to ask is if money was no object what would you change and how would your live your life? I thought that would be a fun thing to think about, if I won the lottery and had say 20 million dollars what would I do? Well the first thing and those of you who read my blog should find no surprise in this is I would be at the nail salon as fast as I could to get acrylic nails and I would have beautiful long red nails. I would get my ears pierced and probably grow my hair out. I would also look into hair removal as I hate body hair and facial hair, I just don’t think it looks good on anyone, no offence to those of you with beards it is just something I don’t find attractive, personal preference. I would also live more of my life as Susan, to start probably full time for a while although I know I would need a break from it as being a girl 24/7 is hard work. The 12 days I do it for Diva Las Vegas is fun but by the end I am ready for a brief break. I might even look into female hormones as it would be nice to have real breast, I think all transgender people think about this but this causes a whole another problem as what do I do with them when I am not Susan, Plus the other side effect of female hormones I would not like as I am sure they have an effect on your mind and emotions which is something I do not want so this would most likely be just curiosity on my part. The one thing I am sure of no matter how much money had I would not have surgery. Wow got a little off topic there.

Jolene and Roxy both showed up and it was good to see them again. Got a chance to talk with both and find out what is knew with them. I really like the social part of being out as I think everyone needs to have that in their lives. Karaoke started and Chris sang as always but Jolene also sang tonight for her first time and did really well. It was a good night as always. By 11 it was just Chris and I left from our group so I had my computer out again as I listened to the Karaoke singers. Chris called it a night but I decided to stay for a little while longer. It really is amazing as a few years ago I would never have stayed after the others left but now days it doesn’t bother me. Most of the time I am out I am not really aware of how I am dressed I am just me and I am out having fun and that is all that matters. Tomorrow, Saturday we are going to Harvey’s so I have that to look forward to a second night out for Susan. I think we have about 10 signed up to go right now so it will be fun.

Thanks for reading


May 2, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night out with friends at the Escape

Well it is Saturday night and I am going out to the Escape for dinner and some social time with my friends. I know we will have a good turnout as several of the girls have posted they will be there. I started getting ready and was thinking what I should wear tonight. it really is amazing how much thought I put into what I wear and how I look as Susan. I was ready and on my way by 6:30, Julie had texted me and she would be there tonight too.

I got to the Escape Bar and Grill right at 7. Cristine was already there, there was also another group of about 12 people there at the tables by the pool table so it was already a little busy. I got my computer out and then went and ordered some food. Now I was playing on my computer and I came across an Amazon page and I found a place where I could set up an online store so I figured I would give it a try as it was free. Not sure if it will work but what do I have to lose, Screenshot 2015-04-26 17.15.34 (2)all I have to do is promote it and as I have a blog I could put it on I am trying it. I will keep you all up to date on if this works. I also have a couple pictures that I will post in blogs with links to it, like lips and lipsticks so if you see those they will also take you to my Amazon store.

Cassandra showed up next and Teresa right behind her. Cassandra had her computer to and set it up in the corner and got on Paltalk so I did the same. It is kind of fun and I do like the being on cam where others can see me. Teresa really liked it too as she was sitting right next to me so I let her play on the chat room while I ate.

Julie and Trixie showed up which was awesome. It has been a while since I have seen Trixie so I got a chance to talk to her. They are a really good couple and so much fun. Now Cassandra had brought cupcakes and a couple birthday cards as tonight is Shadows birthday and she was coming out with us tonight. She showed us the cards and we all picked the same one as it really was funny so we all got to sign it.

Jan, Lynn and Laura also showed up next so we were up to 8 now and the barlips (2) was getting a little busy now. I guess they have a dance near bye that a lot of the girls to before they come here. Anyway about 9:30 a lot of people start showing up and they get the Karaoke started. Laura was the first one to sing and did great as always.

Shadow showed up along with Amber, Blair, Victoria and I think it was her Boyfriend so we had 13 tonight which is one of our bigger turnouts. It was good to see them all out with the group as they don’t get out much. We all wished Shadow a Happy Birthday and gave her, her card which she liked. Cassandra broke out the cupcakes and we all ate some, they were really good.

Some of the girls played pool as always, Cassandra seemed to be the girl to beat. The rest of us sat and talked and the big topic was Bruce Jenner and his interview. Most of us watched it and thought he did a really good job but it is more how people and the media react to this. I am hopeful the outcome will be a positive one. I think this will be the topic of many conversations. If you didn’t see it you should check it out.

Cassandra was playing pool with one of the girls here and she had these really sparkly nails that I kept looking at. Well Cassandra needed me to move so she could make a shot so I got up out of my chair and as she was close I went over and told her how cute her nails were. Well we ended up talking for a few minutes, her name was Jay and her girlfriend was Heather who also came over along with Julie so the 4 of us talked for a while.

The rest of the night we sat and listened to Karaoke and most of the people who lipstick (2)sang were really good. Laura sang several songs and so did Lynn. It was a good night. it was about 11:30 when I called it an evening.

Thanks for reading

April 26, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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