Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday is here and I am ready to let Susan out for some fun.

Okay before my blog I am going to give 2 political talking points so if you want you can skip to the next paragraph. First our government is so polarized and can’t work together and all the citizens say this, Democrats blame Republicans and Republicans blame Democrats. What I have seen on Facebook lately on both sides are people doing the same and if we the citizens do this and act this way then why should we be surprised or mad that our elected officials do the same thing. If we want a working government we need to set the example for our leaders and again I don’t care which side you are on. I will start, I am not a fan of Obama, I think his foreign policy is horrible and I do not care for him on a personal side. I may speak out against some of the things he does but I always respect the office he holds and if I met him I would treat him with the respect his office deserves. I would never wish bad things to happen to him. if we want to solve our countries problems it starts with each and every one of us so what I am asking is please think before you post something to your Facebook. for those of you on both sides who said you would move to another country f the other party wins you will not be missed, if that is how little your country means to you fine be spoiled little children who takes your ball and goes home if you don’t get your way as that is not how democracy works. we all know though you don’t mean it which also means most of what you post means just as little.

As for bringing in refugees from the middle east, this is bad on so many levels. The radical Islamic terrorist have said they will sneak people in with the refugees, they have done this in France and many other countries already. I feel bad for them but our country and the safety of its people must come first, my family and yours. these that support brining them in are the same people who said we should not be engaging in wars over there when they were being killed, they thought America should not spend tax payer money fighting a war over there to help them, we should not risk the lives of one US troop fighting over there but now they feel we should spend tax payer money to help them and risk the lives of our citizens to bring them here, makes no sense. you can call me heartless for not helping them but my goal is to keep our country safe and you alive so you can say those things about me and I will defend your right to say that about me. I am proud to be an American and I will never turn my back on my country and hope you will do the same. Now we return to our normal Friday night out.

it has been a long week and I was really looking forward to tonight and some Susan time. My time as Susan is so calming, relaxing and peaceful and helps keep me happy, it is also part of who I am and makes me the person I am in boy mode also. there s always part of Susan in me even if Susan 11-20-2015 (1)she is not visible. Now I know some people must wonder why I would do this, why I would spend the time to et ready and look like this to go spend a few hours at a bar and all I can say is it makes me happy. I have said this many times it is not about where I go but just that I am out doing normal things that any other woman might do and of course the people I am with.

I did my eyes a little different still a Smokey eye look but with more browns than blacks. I also did my lips a little different as I lined mostly inside my lip lines instead of just outside them so they look just a little smaller. I rally love playing with makeup and trying different looks even subtle changes can have an effect. I was ready to leave by 6:15 and on my way.

I got to Sweethome about 6:40 and was able to park close so I didn’t take my wrap with me as it wasn’t that clod out. Chris was inside as always but it was kind of slow tonight. Well I broke out my computer and caught up on some things I needed to do. Of course I ordered dinner as they had their New York Steak dinner special.

Susan 11-20-2015 (2)Michele showed up which was nice as she was wearing her new wig she got last Saturday. it is good to see her getting out more again. we talked for a bit while I finished up the things I needed to get done on my computer. Yes even some work is more fun when I am Susan. Roxy also showed up which was nice. she has been getting out almost every Friday at least for an hour or two. Robyn also made it tonight as she is in town. It has been a long time since I have seen her. it was nice to talk with her and find out what was new. it really is amazing as we really are like one big family because even when you haven’t seen someone for a long time you pick right up with them and it is like they have been there all along. Dee also made it tonight so we had 6 of us.

It was time for Karaoke and tonight Jen was filling in as Craig was gone, actually the whole other group was gone tonight as they had one of their Pirate weekends, I am looking forward to seeing some of the pictures of this on their Facebook pages. Even though they were gone tonight the bar was pretty busy as there were to small birthday parties going on here tonight. as a matter of fact there were a lot of people here I have not seen before and a few that have not been here for a while.

well there was also a couple young girls on the other side of the bar and every once in a while I would notice them look at me and I always wonder what they are thinking. well finally they came over and told me how pretty I was and how they had been admire ring my lips as they were perfect so I guess the way I did my lips tonight was good. we talked for a bit and they were really nice and made such a cute couple. now even though there were still a lot of people here very few sang Karaoke so those who did sing got to sing more often, I think Chris sand 5 times tonight.

It was a fun night and before I new it, it was almost midnight so it was time to call it a night. It really was fun. I hope to get out this week as next weekend is Thanksgiving weekend and I will not be able to get out.

Have a great day and for those who celebrate Thanksgiving have a wonderful day and know what I am most thankful for in life is all of you.


November 21, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night after a long week

thWQ6QCF5UI have to start with what has happened in Paris today, it is so sad as many people have died because of Radical Islamic terrorist who target innocent people to further their religious agenda. My heart goes out to all those in France for what has happened and to anyone any where who knows someone who was hurt in this despicable act. we need to come together in one world voice on these types of acts and work together to rid the world of these types of groups. France stood with America on 9/11 and we will stand with them today. Please keep them in your prayers.

It has been a long and busy week and I was ready for Friday.  I did get out last Tuesday for some shopping and yes I got my TV all hooked up on Wednesday but had to stay up way to late doing it. I got home late Friday and immediately started getting ready. It really is amazing how much I look forward to my time as Susan. I was all ready by 5:30 and on my way. Now I 15971842232_acb419a71a_odidn’t get a picture tonight but I do have one of me from a while ago in the dress I wore tonight, it is a really cute blue dress.

I got to Sweethome just before 6 and had to park out on the street. Chris was there playing pool so I joined hi, and the guys he was playing pool with and broke out ,my computer to catch up on some things. One of the guys was trying to look up watches made from wood on his cell phone so I pulled it up on my computer and we spent about 15 minutes looking at the watches, a lot easier on a computer screen then a phone.

I ordered dinner as I was hungry as once again I skipped eating so I could get out earlier as Susan. It was a little busy for this early but I think some came to watch the blazer game on TV.

Michele showed up and it was great to see her out again as Michele. We have several Michele’s in our group it is the name in our group that we have the most of. Any way this Michele has not been out in a long time, she did come to the Escape a while back but as her male self though. she is really nice and yes just the same person in male or female dress but just more fun when we are all girls. this can be the hardest think to explain to people.

When I am out as Susan I really don’t think about it that I am presenting as a female or really that I am any different, to be completely honest a lot of the times I forget about how I am dressed. I am just out as myself. a lot of people wonder why I do it than but all I can say is it feels right and I am happy this way. I guess the closest I can explain it is when a women wears sexy lingerie under her clothes. no one sees it but she knows it is there and makes her happy even if she is not thinking about it all the time she is wearing it. being Susan is a part of who I am and that means expressing her and experiencing all that goes with being Susan. One cannot deny who they are, you have to be true to yourself.

It was nice to talk with Michele and find out what she has been up to. I really think the social part of being Susan is what I enjoy the most. In my male life I am always busy, always doing something, just sitting around and talking is not something I do in my male life but in my female life I really enjoy that part. I guess I always say I am the same person which is true but there are subtle differences to. Susan loves to be social, she loves hugging people it is a nice way to say hello and goodbye, an loves jewelry. I think my male side would like these things also if it was acceptable for men. Being a female is just more relaxing and way more fun I mean who would like to wear all those cute dresses and shoes. Roxy also showed up so there were 4 of us here tonight, a smaller group.

The other group that comes here was pretty big tonight. They were doing a Pirate theme tonight and almost all of them dressed up as Pirates and these were not the cheep Halloween type costumes. A lot of them made their outfits by hand and they were really good. They are really into Pirates and actually do Pirate weekends during the summer where they go camping and live as Pirates the whole time. I think that is why it was so easy for them to accept our group, we all realize it is not how one dresses but the person they are and these are really some of the nicest people you would ever meet.

When you think about it I bet almost everyone has something they like, something they do that someone some where would think is strange and I bet almost everyone has at least one secret that they keep to themselves because they are worried what bothers might think. it really is a shame that people feel that way, that we need to hide something about ourselves from other. What a wonderful world this would be if we just forgot about all that. If we didn’t care about race, religion, gender, nationality, or any of the other little differences and just focused on the person and who they are.

Karaoke started and there were a lot of people singing tonight and as always there was at least one song I had not heard before. Some good some bad, some good singers and some bad but I say if you are willing to get up and sing then you deserve some credit and applause. After all it is all about having fun.

It was a fun night and was about 11:30 when I called it a night, Chris and I were the last of our group to leave but the other group there was still going strong.
thanks for reading

November 14, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shopping and Starbuck’s a fun little outing.

Okay I got to go out on a Tuesday night. I just wanted to dress up and go out and do a little shopping, and it was not Susan shopping. No clothes, or makeup it really was more shopping that probably would have been easier as my male self. You see I am looking for a new TV as mine is really old and small and I want a new HD flat screen TV. I have kind of been looking online to see what is out there but now I want to go and look at them in person and I figured why not as Susan. Okay going to ad a few pictures from tonight of what I wore.100_2906 (2)

I got all dressed up and was ready to leave a little before 5 so I drove to Cascade Station by the airport as they have a Best By and I figured that would be a good place to start. I got there a little after 5 and decided to start by getting something to eat so I went to the Panda Express in the shopping complex, I have gone here before as Susan. I went in and ordered some food and sat there and ate it just like everyone else here. When I finished eating I walked over to Staples which was just across the parking lot and went in as I needed a few supplies. A really helpful young man came over to see if I needed help and I really knew what I needed but I asked him a few questions anyway and he was very helpful answering my question. It was more having the interaction with him than anything. He really didn’t seem the least bit uncomfortable with me which was nice. I got a couple of the things I20151110_204650 needed and went to the checkout and bought them. Now it was onto my next stop which is at the far end of the complex so I went back to my car and drove down there.

I walked into Best Buy and figured I would check out their computers first just to see what is new. I looked around for a little bit and a couple of the sales people asked if I had any questions or needed any help and I said no. It was fun just being out. Now I was kind of leaning towards a Samsung 48” TV I had seen online for $489 so headed over to the TV section, wow you cannot believe how many different TV’s they have. Another young man came over and asked if I had any questions which I did so I 20151110_204607started asking them. He answered all of them and showed me several TV’s all between $500 and $700 and it was amazing as some of the smaller ones were more expensive than the bigger ones probably because of the names.

We finally got to the Samsung TV I was looking at online and it was really nice and I figured this will be the one I buy. Well just a little ways down they had a Toshiba which I also like as a brand as I have a DVD player by them and one of my old TV’s is a Toshiba and they work really good so I asked him about this one. Turns out it is a 55” TV and the specs are the same as the Samsung but this one is on an early Black Friday sale today for $349. I just couldn’t20151110_204628 pass it up so I bought it along with a HDMI cable so I can hook up my laptop to it and have a 55” screen. After I paid for it he called someone to take it out to my car for me which I am sure with something this big they do for everyone. Now it was too big to fit in my trunk but we managed to get it in the back seat but it went from one side of the car to the other and I was barely able to get my doors shut. It was about 6:45 so as I was leaving I went by the Starbucks here and there was a few parking spots right in front where I could keep an eye on my car so I decided to stop for a hot chocolate and to spend a little time on my computer. It was a hard choice, go home and set up my new TV or spend a little more time out as Susan, Guess which won.

So I am sitting here by the window where I can watch my car and playing on my computer. I am guessing by the time I get home it will be too late to set up my TV so I will do it tomorrow when I get home from work.

Now I am sitting here in Starbucks and guess what, they are playing Christmas music. Now it is a little early for that and I know some people will think that is wrong but guess what? I love Christmas music so I am fine with it. It was fun few hours out as Susan, plus it has been a while since I have gone out to Starbuck’s

Thanks for reading

November 10, 2015 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Harvey’s comedy club on Saturday night.

Well it is Saturday and we are going to Harvey’s Comedy Club tonight, I have been looking forward to this for weeks as I bought a pretty new dress just for tonight. Still amazes me that as Susan I can get so excited about a new dress 20151107_202935where on my male side I look at clothes as nothing more than clothes. Now I started getting ready at 4 as I wanted to take my time so I looked really pretty in my new dress. It took 2 hours but it was so worth it, I was ready and on my way by 6 PM. This is my new dress.

Now we have a pretty good group going tonight, 14 of us so it should be fun plus one of our new Members Nicole who I actually met back in February of 2014 when I was out shopping one day. she had contacted me on Facebook as she saw I was going out shopping and wanted to meet to talk of course she was in male mode that day so this will be the first time I have met her as Nicole.

I left home and got downtown Portland about 6:20 and parked and walked over to Fox & Hound. I was the first of our group to get there so I sat at the bar and got a drink and watched Family Feud on the TV20151107_184423 with a couple other guys sitting at the bar. Okay one more selfie close up.

Cassandra showed up just before 7 so I was there maybe 30 minutes by myself which a few years back would have scared me but not it really doesn’t bother me as I have said I have become comfortable as Susan. we talked for a bit as we waited for others to show up, we did have a couple drop out tonight probably because if the weather.

Mikaela showed up with her Sister in-law Kayla. It was awesome to see her again as she doesn’t get out much as she has moved away from Portland. She is a lot of fun and I really enjoy spending time with her. She reminds me of me 8 years ago always taking pictures so when she is around I think about it and get more pictures of myself of course tonight with my new 20151107_203253dress I would have remembered to get a few pictures but I got way more as I had to get a few with her.

Well not that there were 4 of us we moved over to some tables so we could sit down and talk while we waited to see if anyone else would show up early. Barb showed up next so we were up to 5. Of course we needed a group Picture so Kayla took a few pictures of the four of us. This is20151107_195333 Cassandra, Barb, Mikaela and me from Left to right. Don’t we look like one big happy family.

Nicole showed up and it was good to see her again although she did look different from when I saw her last time. It is amazing how a little makeup, long hair and a pretty dress can change how you look and feel. Now it turns out this is her first really outing as Nicole other than a couple quick trips to the store and she seemed to be handling it really well. I remember my first times out, I could hardly talk just sat there trying to look pretty and stay calm. it really is a hard thing the first few times you go out but it is so worth it as it really does get easier over time.

It was about 8:20 when the 6 of us left and walked the 7 blocks to Harvey’s. it was a little cold out tonight but at least it didn’t ran although we all had our umbrella’s as rain  does not go well with being a girl. We got t Harvey’s and Cristine was already there.

Well we sat down and I got a good chance to talk with Nicole and learn more about her. Turns out her wife knows and is okay with it, even her kids now and are fine with it so she is a lucky girl. Of course being her first time out we had to get pictures of her so she can remember tonight. It is always fun t go back and look at pictures to see your journey and how you progress over time. I really do enjoy meeting new people especially ones I have chatted with on Facebook.

Well it started to get busy here as more and more people came in, it looks like they will have a full house tonight. Sophie and Lorna showed up and so did Cassie so almost everyone was there. Lorna joined Nicole and me at our table and the 3 of us talked till the show started. It was almost time to go in when Laura and her friend showed up so all 12 of us were there. The doors opened and everyone went in and we just sat and waited as we had our table reserved as always. one of the advantages of coming every month. Harvey’s has always treated us awesome from the owner to all the staff. If you come to Portland and want to see good comedy you must check out Harvey’s.

We got inside and Kim our favorite waitress was there waiting for us. She is so awesome and takes really good care of us. Cassandra no more than sat down and she had her dinner, seems she had texted Kim what she wanted, pretty smart. Kim took our orders and then the show started.

The show was good as always and all 3 of the comedians were good. It is amazing how fast the night went by as it always does. This really is a fun night and one of the most fun things we do every month. it is hard to believe we have been coming here for over 5 years. I think Nicole enjoyed it but I also think there were times it was a little overwhelming for her with all the people there as it was a sold out show.

Now the fun part of the night was at the end of the show the comedian invited one of the ladies from the crowd up on stage as it was her birthday, she is friends with Star our favorite bar tender here. Well he joked with her for a moment till she said she had a boyfriend so the comedian had the boyfriend come up on stage and it took a little encouraging to get him up there. Well once he was up there he gave the mic to him and left the stage well if you haven’t guessed it he got down on one knee and purposed to her there on stage in front of everyone. If you are wondering she accepted, it was really fun to be there 20151107_203256for this.

After the show we talked with Kim for a while, she is thinking of going out to dinner with us on a Wednesday night which would be fun. well we all left. Now it wasn’t raining but it was colder out. The one bad thing about being a girl is the stuff you wear is not really warm, Dresses and open toed shoes. yes I could have worn something warmer but it was more about being cute than warm.  Cassandra, Cristine, Nicole and I walked back over to Fox & Hound where we had parked. It really was a fun night out and such a pleasure meeting Nicole. We said our goodbyes and left for home. I really hope Nicole can get back to Portland again and go out with the group again.

Thanks for reading.


November 8, 2015 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

First Friday night of November.

It has been another busy week and I was really looking forward to Friday so Susan could get out. Now I did try a different hair look tonight. I actually 20151106_180300bought this hair many 2 years ago but thought it was to dark but tonight I decided to try it and see. I always wonder if darker hair makes my face look more harsh plus I am not use to bangs.

Now I started getting ready a little after 4 as I really wanted to take my time tonight and enjoy the whole experience of becoming Susan. Even though I have been dressing as Susan at least twice a week for 7 years so I have dressed as Susan probably 700 times in the last 7 years. I was actually looking at my blog today and this will be my 767 blog post, hard to believe. Thanks to everyone who have read one of them or who follow me and my blog.

I was already by 5:40 and of course I took a few selfies to show of my new hair. Now as we are getting into winter and have set our clocks back to standard time it actually gets dark outside by a little after 5 which is taking20151106_180307 some getting use to. it is funny as years ago I loved this time of year as I would never leave my house till it got dark which during the summer would mean there were some night I wouldn’t leave home till after 10 PM, wow how times have changed as I go out all the time during the day now. I am so happy I have accepted and embraced this part of me.

Now don’t get me wrong I still worry about people finding out as I could loose family and friends and of course I still have to work for a living and it could make it hard where I work. I really think it is easier for people to understand someone who is transitioning to the other sex than someone who just wants to live part of their of their lives as the opposite sex. now I am not saying one is better or worse than the other or has an easier time its just we are on a different path or journey in our lives and we will have different obstacles to face but the good part is the whole transgender community is one big family and that support has helped us all make progress.

I got to Sweethome at 6 and went in, Chris was there playing pool. of course we 20151106_180314both had our computers so I ordered dinner as they have a New York Steak special tonight and then caught up on some work. a few other girls showed up including Roxy and Rachael. It was good to see Rachael again and see her getting out. I really do have some wonderful friends.

Now we have such a great group and go out all the time and we are mixing it up on Wednesday night and trying different places for dinner, and I do go out shopping but I was thinking it might be fun to see about doing some other things like movies or other dinners out on different nights and these could be bigger or smaller groups. I just think it would be fun to do more spur of the moment things as that is more how normal life goes although I do understand it is not as easy as calling up a friends and saying meet me in 20 minutes as it does take time to get ready. It would be fun to just decide to go t a movie and be able to get together with someone that night.

It was a fun night, Karaoke started and of course Chris sang. it was fun to listen to the songs and talking with my friends. It really does help keep Susan a normal part of my life. Mow tomorrow night our group is going to Harvey’s Comedy club and this is always a fun Saturday night out. I have a new dress I bought several weeks ago just for this and it has been hard not to wear it. I am so looking forward to it and of course I will get some pictures.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.

November 7, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Halloween night 2015 at the Escape Bar and Grill

Halloween 2015 (1)Wow it is hard to believe it is Halloween already. I rally do love this holiday as you can dress any way you like and no one cares. It really is a T-girls best day and so many of us took our first steps out on Halloween. Now I have to work early tomorrow so I am not planning on staying out to late to night but we will see how that goes. Any way I started getting ready early today with hopes of being to the escape by 6 or earlier. Now I know I said I was going to wear my Wonder Woman costume but a funny thing, as I was going through my pictures of Susan which I have thousands of I noticed 2 of my costumes IHalloween 2015 (4) don’t have pictures of or at least can’t find them. I may have lost them 2 years ago when my old computer died. so I decided to wear one of them, my Gypsy outfit. Yes I will have lots of pictures today. I started getting ready a little before 4 as I was going to do the false eye lashes again and I was doing both the upper and lower lashes and wasn’t sure how it would turn out as I had enough trouble with just the upper lashes last night. Well they turned out really well. I actually put them on first before doing my eye makeup tonight. the lashes went on easier but it was a lot harder to do my eye makeup.

I was on my way by 5:30. traffic was slow as it was really raining tonight but I was in no hurry. I got to the Escape bar and Grill about 5:50 and went in. . I was the first of our group to arrive which I kind of figured I would be but I had limited time out tonight and I was taking advantage of it. I got my computer out and then went to the bar and ordered dinner and a drink. As I was walking back to my table a man came in and told me how good I looked and offered to buy me a beer. Now I was flattered but I am not interested in men and I don’t drink beer so I thanked him for the Halloween 2015 (6)offer but declined.

Cassandra showed up next and she had on a really cute costume also, here is a picture of us. We noticed Brandi was at the bar seems the man who offered to buy me a drink made Brandi the same offer.

Well All 3 of us got our phones out and started to get pictures. It was like old times, we took so many pictures. Now besides getting pictures of ourselves I really wanted to try and get at least one picture of everyone who showed up tonight for our group. This is a picture of Brandi and me. WeHalloween 2015 (5) are both members of the Vanity Club, yes I actually belong to 2 t-girl groups. I have met Brandi once before at Victoria, Sinclair’s birthday party a couple years ago. It was nice to see her again and talk to her.

Now we had a good turn out tonight I will try to list everyone, another reason for trying to get pictures of everyone. so tonight we had Cassandra, Brandi, Jolene, Barb, Jan and her wife Lynn, Cristine, Teresa, Jamie. Laura M. her daughter and girlfriend, Jamie, her wife Kristine, Julie and her girlfriend, Rachael and her friend, Julie and her girlfriend Trixie, Dee, Joan, Michelle, Diane and Rose.

Halloween 2015 (8)It was good to see Jolene again as she is a newer member but has been really busy the last few months and hasn’t been able to get out so of course I had to get a picture with her. We kind of has similar costumes although mine was a lot shorter dress. Now the funny thing is tonight I was also doing something I haven’t done before. As I was taking the pictures with my cell phone I was uploading them to my Facebook page as I took them. I got a chance to talk with Jolene for a while as we watched the end of game 4 of the World Series, Mets lost.

After the game was over the bar put on the Movie Rocky Horror Picture show, it was their theme tonight. So we wereHalloween 2015 (16) kind of watching it as we socialized. Now I had to get  some pictures with Teresa. Some how I wound up with several pictures with her, I think we both like having our pictures taken. This was my favorite as we both had good smiles in this one. Of course we had to do one close up to Halloween 2015 (21)post to Facebook. This is just such a cute close up of us.

Now I did make sure I got around and talked with everyone from our group. Now one of our newer member Julie well she has been in the group for a year but only been able to come out a couple times so I have not met her till tonight so I did talk with her and her girlfriend several times as I really do like meeting new people, They both had great costumes. Now I thought I had gotten a picture with both of them but some how I only have the one with her girlfriend. I think maybe Julie and me might have been on someone else’s camera. She hadHalloween 2015 (33) someone do her makeup and it was awesome.

Rachael also made it out tonight, she is one of my oldest friends as Susan. Her and Alice were probably 2 of the earliest people I met as Susan that I still have contact with. It is amazing to think about how long I have known some of Halloween 2015 (27)these girls. I really do have some awesome friends that have helped me grow and helped shape the lady I have become. Well I had to get a picture with her. I took several pictures of Rachael as she wanted some, she even texted some to a lady friend she told about Rachael and it turns out she decided to drive down to the Escape and Meet Rachael in person along with the rest of us. She seems really nice and didn’t seem to be bothered with us being dressed. Of course all the girls in our group are awesome and friendly. We have such a wonderful group here in Portland.

Now of course what Halloween would not be complete without a picture with Julie and Trixie. They are wonderful people and make such a cute couple andHalloween 2015 (31) are awesome friends. Came out a little dark but still really cute costumes. everyone had great costumes tonight. Julie and I talked about our golfing together in boy mode a few weeks back and how much different we look tonight. It still amazes me as 7 years ago I was so nervous and would never have even thought about telling people anything about my male side and now I have so many close friends here in the group and many of them have met my male side and I find myself talking more about me to people. It is the support I have gotten here in this group or should I say our Rose City T-girl family as that is what we really are.

Now as I said having to work early tomorrow I was only going out till 9 and we all know how that worked out. 9 came and went and I told myself well I will stay till 10. Well 10 came and went and I was still there. It is so hard to leave when I am out with such wonderful people. It was about 10:30 when I paid my bill and then started to say my goodbyes, hugs for everyone. I think that is one of the best things about being a lady is you can hug people goodbye and no one thinks any thing of it as females do it all the time and it is perfectly okay. So I finally left the bar about 10:45. by the time I got home it was about 11:20 and now I had to Clean off all my makeup and get ready for bed so I actually didn’t get to bed till almost midnight. I will be tired tomorrow at work but it was so worth it. I had a fabulous time tonight. Now I am looking forward to next Saturday when we go to Harvey’s and I can wear my pretty new dress that I Bought just for this. I goy so many compliments on the brown hair maybe I will wear this wig a little more often

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and a Happy Halloween. Thanks for reading.

November 1, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, halloween | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Last Friday of October, the day before Halloween.

Well it is the day before Halloween. It is funny how this holiday has changed for me over the years, don’t get me wrong I still love it but it doesn’t hold the same excitement it did fir me years ago. You see before I accepted Susan and who I am my time as Susan was a late night drive, I wouldn’t even leave my house till 10:30 or 11 pm and I would drive around and see if people in other cars were looking at me and then I would top off my night out with a trip through Burger kings drive through if I was feeling really confident. now Halloween was my night as the Friday and Saturday closest to Halloween I always new there would be costume parties so I would go out again late at night but on these nights I would find some convenience stores and they were nice as the counter was always by the windows so you could see the employee working and I would always try to find one with a female working and I would stop and run in and buy something just so I could see how they responded to me. of course they always took it as a costume which made it easier, but I loved Halloween as I could get out as myself and have interaction with a few people. Now Halloween is a day to dress up in a costume not just as a girl and go out and have fun and I have had a few good costumes over the years. Here are a few from the last few years.

15074539424_2ecfc72293_o Susan Millers Halloween costume 2010 6296146337_fab68e9ba7_o 15694482175_4b533653e7_o

Now incase you didn’t know I love Wonder Woman and this is the only costume I have worn several times, It was my first female costume I ever bought and if I do get to go out this year for Halloween it is the costume I will wear again as I didn’t get a costume this year as I didn’t think I would get out but now I am thinking of going out early since I can only stay out till maybe 9 at the latest. it is funny as being a girl was my costume for so many years and not it is a  normal part of my life.

I started getting ready early as I got off work early and wanted to go out. the other thing was wanted to try something new. Last week one of the girls brought in some false eyelashes she didn’t want so I got some as I have always wanted to try them. now I had always planned on going to Nordstrom’s and getting them so they could show me how to do them but I have never gotten around to it so I figured this was a good chance to try them. Now I am not sure if you put them on before your eye make up or after but I did mine after. Now I did have a little trouble getting one corner to stick and yes I had to redo one eye twice and the other 3 times before I was okay with the way they looked, still not perfect but for my first try it will do. any tips you girls have on false eye lashes would be helpful as this is totally new to me. any way here are a few close ups so you can see my first attempts.

Susan with dark hair (6) Susan with dark hair (7)Susan with dark hair (8)

It is so much fun to play with makeup and try different looks and see how you can change your look, sometimes it turns out really well and others not so good but with practice you get better. tonight I really liked the way my lips turned out and since I have posted several pictures of my eyes I thought why not my lips as this is my blog.

Susan with dark hair (8) - Copy Susan with dark hair (6) - Copy Susan with dark hair (7) - Copy

Yes I went a little picture happy tonight. Well I was already by 5:30 and on my way but before I left I had to take a few selfies to show the whole makeup look.

Susan with dark hair (1)Susan with dark hair (2)

In some ways I really like the dark hair but at certain angles I think it makes my face look harsh. downwards angles look best.

Susan with dark hair (5)Susan with dark hair (3)

I got to Sweet home at 6 and there were several people there including Chris who was playing pool, no one in costume yet though. I got out my computer and caught up on some e-mails and other things including going into a chat room for a little while. It is nice that we can take our computers with us now as you can go someplace and if you are by yourself you are not just sitting there you have something to do. I ordered dinner and had a wonderful time. other girls from our group started to show up, Cristine was first and she had her pirates costume on and looked great, Dee and Roxy also shoed up. it was going to be a fun night. Dee and I talked for a while, it was a good time.

I went to the bar to get a drink and Meagan was sitting there having a drink. she is a GG that use to come to the bar and I got to know but she moved further away and hasn’t been here in over a year..She is going to college and will finish this spring. I stood and talked with her for a while to find out what was new with her. It was nice to see her again and talk with her, I should have thought to get a picture with her.

A girl came over and asked if she could join us, while she waited for her boyfriend to show up and I said sure we talked for a while and for the life of me I can’t remember her name. she wanted some pictures with us and of course you know me I can’t turn down a photo opportunity . I of course had to get a couple pictures with her.

Susan with dark hair (9)Susan with dark hair (10)Susan with dark hair (11)

The last one I am not as happy with the way I look but she really liked that one as she had taken her glasses off so I figured I would post all of them. It was getting later and the other group started to show up and they were all in costumes and they really looked great, some of the costumes were awesome. I have come to know so many of them and are friends on Facebook with many of them. Susan really does have a great life and many friends. Heather, Mareinna, Dawni, Shryl, Craig, Alexis, Angela, Rachel, and Daniel and several other I know casually.

Karaoke started and there were so many people here now that the list to sing was long. Chris only got to sing once tonight. They did something call Scarryaoke which if you want to participate you draw a random song out of a bowl and that is what you sing and a lot of them did that. it was a fun night and even Raven and Monica showed up for a while. it was a wonderful night out and as always it must come to an end. it was about 11:40 when I paid my bill and left.

Now on my way home I was thinking about when I use to go out on Halloween and go into convenience stores, it is funny the things you think about. Any way I needed milk so I decided to stop and not at a a convenience store and get some milk. Now I know what you are all saying I go out all the time as Susan and go shopping as Susan so what is the big deal. Well I stopped at a store just a block from where I live, the one I shop at all the time when I am not Susan and tonight I am all dressed up in a pretty dress and 4” heels. I went in and walked to the back and got my milk and went to the check stand. the lady working was dressed as a Nun and I have gone through her line many times as my male self including yesterday. I am not sure if she recognized me or not but I paid for my mile and went home. it will be interesting the next time I see her.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a fun, safe and happy Halloween.

October 31, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A fun and relaxing evening at the Escape Bar and Grill

Well I got the stuff I needed to do today done early so I decided to start getting ready early and go to the Escape. This allowed me the time to enjoy the whole process of becoming Susan. It is so nice to be able to take my time becoming Susan as it is so relaxing and puts me in such a good mood.

Susan closeup (1)I was already by 5:30 and on my way. I got to the Escape by 6, this is a selfie I took of myself. I was the first one here so I got out my computer and ordered some dinner. It is funny how dependent we have become on computers or cell phone as no matter where we go we are never alone or without something to do.

Cassandra showed up shortly after I did and she also had her computer with her. She set it up in the corner and then sat down to eat with me. It was nice as we had a good chance to talk. We talked a little about the group and how it has grown so much over the years. Our group started on November 17 2007 so we will be starting our 9th year in just a couple weeks and we have 316 member. it is amazing how active our group is as with Football Season going on now we have girls going out Monday and Thursday to watch football, Wednesday for dinner and pool, Friday and Saturday night for pool and Karaoke. Really the only night we don’t have something going on is Tuesday night. We talked about how to get more girls out and other possible things to do and if there is a better way to managed the group. The one thing we all agree on is the group is all about getting T-girls to be able to come out and to support them in getting out. That is so important. I think back to my first few times out and the help I got and if it had not been for Alice, Cassandra and Linda helping me I would not be where I am today. We all have these people in our lives that made such a huge impactSusan closeup (2) on our lives.

Well other girls started to show up, Debbie one of our newer members, Cristine, Jan, Lynn, Jamie, Kristine, Michelle, and Laura. I got a chance to talk with Debbie for a while. She came here to work for a few years and has been coming out now. Her wife is still back home and at Christmas she will go visit her and then after the first of the year she will move out here also, so hopefully she will come out with the group also as she knows about Debbie.

It was about 9 and Dana and Jill showed up. Dana had gone to Victoria’s Over the Rainbow for a makeover and Jill also got a makeover. Jill was pretty excited about her makeover. Now I have never gone to Victoria’s for a makeover but I have done it a couple times at Macy’s and it was a blast. I really think for me it was more about being in the cosmetic section like any other woman then the makeover. Now if you need help with makeup or want a makeover in a safe and comfortable place then I would recommend Victoria as she really does a wonderful job.

Dana, Jill, Dee, Cassandra and I all sat at one table and talked for a while. It was funny as Jill wanted some pictures in her outfit which was awesome by the way and she had on these really cute heels so I took some pictures for her and Susan, Jill & Deeof course I had to get one with me in it. this is Me, Jill and Dee, We had 12 of us here tonight so we had a good turnout.

We talked about next Saturday which is Halloween and a lot of the girls from the group are going to the Escape and are all excited about it. Now I have to work early Sunday so I wasn’t planning on going but I just realized the next week we set our clocks back so we get an extra hour of sleep so I may go for a little bit so I can see everyone’s costume. The only bad thing is I haven’t got a new costume so I will either have to wear one I already have or try to come up with a costume this week. the other issue is I bought a lot of candy to give out to the trick or treaters and I have been good about not eating any of the candy. If I don’t give it out I will probably eat it.

Susan closeup (3)Karaoke started and several of our group sang, Dee, Laura, Lynn and even Jamie and Kristine did a duet. It was a fun night. Cassandra had to leave early but the rest of us stayed and had fun. It was almost 11:30 when  I called it a night. it was a great night and I had a blast.

Thanks for reading and have a great week.

October 25, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday evening and time for some relaxing Susan time

It has been a long and busy week and I have worked late every day so I was really looking forward to the weekend and some relaxing time as Susan. It is amazing how much I need my Susan time as she really is a big part of my life and who I am. I really think the Susan side of me is the part that keeps my life on an eve keel, she is what brings balance to my life. any way as I said I have been working late all week and today was no exception. I got home and pulled into my drive at 5:35 so it would be a rush to get ready.

It was straight into the shower and then to start getting ready. Now sometimes I have t rush to get ready which I don’t like to do as the getting ready is almost as fun as the time I spend as Susan and it is probably the most relaxing part of being Susan. Now over the last few years I have gotten a lot better doing my makeup and yes that does mean faster also. the key to getting ready faster is to know just how you want to do your makeup and how you want it to look and what dress, shoes and hair you are planning on wearing. usually I never wear what I originally planned on unless it is a new dress I have bought. I I usually make minor changes to my makeup depending on how things are going or what I decide to wear, even sometimes how my makeup comes out might influence my dress or hair for the night. Boy being a girl takes a lot of work and thought. Well as I said I went with my first decision on makeup and what is was wearing so things went a lot smoother and I think I looked pretty good. I was already to go and in my car pulling out of my garage at 6:30.

I got to Sweet home just before 7 and parked, now as I was getting ready to get out of the car I got a call from my brother so I sat in the car and talked to him for maybe 10 minutes. It is funny as I have talked with him and other friends and family on the phone when I have been Susan and I always wonder what they would think if they could see me through the phone. I am sure some of them would be supportive or wouldn’t care but it always comes back to one simple fact. Susan is just a part of who I am be it a big part and I still believe that other people do not need to know every part of your life. they need to know the parts that effect them. in other words if Susan is not going to go out with them or meet them than they really don’t need to know just like other things in my life. I don’t talk about golf or baseball to my friends who don’t like follow golf or baseball, just my thoughts on this. everyone has to decide for themselves who they tell and when.

I got inside and Cassandra, Chris and Roxy were there already and of course Chris and Cassandra both had their computers out so I broke out my computer also. Well I ordered dinner as I have not eaten since noon and I was hungry and then I caught up on my e-mails and a few other things online. Dinner came and I put away my computer so I could eat.

Cristine and Karen showed up. It was good to see them again. Karen is getting out a lot more now since she moved to the Portland area and that is great. Her wife was out of town so couldn’t come with her. I got to talk with Karen a little which was nice and I took a few pictures of her as her wife wanted to see what Karen & Susanshe wore, how awesome is that. of course I also had to get a picture of the two of us together so here is a little selfy close-up, look at our beautiful smiles and see how happy we are just being ourselves. It truly is a wonderful feeling when you finally accept who you are, all of who you are and say this is me and I am okay with being me. Life is so much better then. what a wonderful world we would have if everyone could just accept themselves and others as they are and not how we think they should be or want them to be.

Well we watched the end of the Baseball game. Royals against the Blue Jays and The Royals won so they will face the Mets in the World Series. Okay I guess I did mention baseball with friends that may not like baseball but it was only because that is what I did tonight as Susan.

Dana also showed up tonight with her girlfriend Jill, they are in town for the weekend. It was nice to see her and meet Jill, always nice to meet a GG who is not only accepting but supportive of their Transgender boyfriends or husbands.  I got a chance to talk with them and Dana wanted me to show Jill my nails and explain how I do them. well I could do batter then that as I wrote a Dana, Jill, Cassandra & Susanblog a few years back about how I do my nails called Tips for beautiful nails. It is funny as this is why I Started my blog so I could remember my life and times as Susan, Kind of my online diary. I never imagined people would even find it let alone read it. Don’t get me wrong I really do love the fact people read it and leave comments, I have met some wonderful people through my blog and some of them have joined our group and I have met in person and am happy to call all of you my friends, my online family. This is a group picture of Dana, Lisa, Cassandra and me tonight.

It is funny talking about my blog as Dana mentioned she had been here once before 3 years ago, wow doesn’t seem like we have been coming here for 3 years. Cassandra and I couldn’t remember it and Dana said it was right before Halloween when she came to town for Cassandra’s party. She came to Sweethome the night before and I was dressed as Wonder Woman and Cassandra was also dressed up for Halloween. Cassandra said she had never came here in a costume so of course I had to check with my blog and sure enough Dana was right it was right there in my blog Pre Halloween. Wow my blog was good for 2 things tonight.

Dana , Cassandra & SusanNow the other group showed up for Karaoke and a farewell party. One of their members is moving away. I have talked to her many times so of course I had to tell her goodbye. it is funny the people I have met here that I think of as friends. our group and their group has kind of blended over the years and I look more at us as one big group now. I look forward to seeing them as much as our group. Dawni, Mareinna, Blue, Jessica, Heather, Alexis, Shryl, Craig, Angela, Michele and so many others.

It was a good night out, Karaoke started and of course Chris sand. it is fun to listen to Karaoke as some of the songs I have heard and some I have never heard. it just makes a fun night out.

Well it got late and some of the girls left. Cassandra gave Dana and Jill a ride back to their hotel so they didn’t have to take a cab and soon I was the last of our group here. now as I said I feel comfortable here as I do know so many more people here fro the other people who come here so I got out my computer again and sent Jill the pictures I took as she asked me to send them to here. and then I checked some things online while I listened to a few more Dana & Susanpeople sing before calling it a night. it was almost midnight when I left. it was a wonderful evening with my friends.

Thanks for reading and I am happy to share this part of my life with you my family.

October 24, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night out at the Escape.

It is Saturday night and Susan is going out again. I am really looking forward to it as I have another new dress to wear plus I want to recreate the Smokey eye look I did last night as it turned out so well. Here are a couple pictures of it tonight. I started getting ready at 5 as I worked all day cleaning my roof and Smokey eye look tonight (1)gutters. I finished right at 5 and I was cold and wet so a nice warm shower and then transforming into Susan would be so much fun. Now I have to share a funny story.

So much of what we do is routine, we have routines for a lot of the things we do like getting ready. If something interrupts our routine it can mess our whole day up. My routine on Friday nights is the same when I get home. I take off my out fit and get dressed for bed, remove my nails, wipe off my lipstick, brush my teeth and then remove my makeup and then Saturday morning I get up, have breakfast, update my blog and then take a shower to make sure all traces of makeup are gone which they usually are. So Friday night I got home a little earlier thanSmokey eye look tonight (2) normal, got ready for bed, removed my nails, wiped off my lipstick but as I was getting ready to brush my teeth I remembered I needed to take my pill for being sick last week still have a couple to go and I need to eat something with it so I went downstairs and got a glass of water and a snack and took my pill and sat down at my computer. well I fell asleep. Any way I woke up a couple hours later and went up to bed. Saturday morning I got up about 10 and had breakfast and wrote my blog. It was about 11:30 when I finished and as I was going to clean my roof and gutters which would take several hours and I would get dirty so I skipped my shower and climbed out onto my roof and started cleaning. now incase you didn’t catch it other than my lipstick I forgot to take my Susan closeup (1)makeup off so I was on my roof all day with my makeup on and my eyes looking like these pictures. The neighbor man was working in his yard and we did talk a couple times but we were 40 feet apart and I was on my roof so he may not have been able to see the makeup but if he did he didn’t say anything and I am pretty sure he knows about Susan as his wife is one of the 2 neighbors that saw me and know.

Well I got ready and put on my new dress and was out the door by 6:30 and on my way. I got to the Escape right at 7 and the parking lot was full so I parked along the curb, Jan and Lynn had just arrived and were getting out of their car so we all walked in together. Cassandra was there on her computer and Laura H. was at the bar with her friend. I stopped and talked to Laura for a bit as it has been a while since I have seen her out. It was nice to catch up with her.

Susan new dress (1)Cassandra came over and we talked and of course I had her take a couple pictures of me in my new dress. Now it was time to order dinner as I have not eaten since breakfast this morning and I was hungry. There was a new girl here tonight who just happened to come to the Escape on a night we were here so I talked with her briefly, she seems nice. Hopefully we will see her out again.

I got my computer out and checked my e-mails and Facebook andSusan new dress (2) then went into the same chat room Cassandra was in for a while. I am still not real good at keeping up with the chat but it was fun for a while. By the way this is my new dress. I have one more new dress but I am saving that for Harvey’s next Month, it will be hard to wait to wear it but I will find a way.

Cristine showed up as did Laura M. and her girlfriend so we had a good turnout. Jan, Lynn, Laura M. and her girlfriend and I sat at one table and we had a good chance to talk which was nice. Teresa also showed up, it was good to see and talk with her. We sat and watched the Met’s play the Cub’s. The Met’s won and most of the people here wanted the Cub’s to win. I like both teams so I will be happy no matter which team wins. It is funny though to have a bunch of T-girls at a bar watching sports. Jamie also showed up tonight although her wife couldn’t make it.

Karaoke started and the bar got busy as the other group came in. They have some really good singers and of course some of our girls sang to and they were good also. Both Laura’s, Lynn and Jamie sang. Cassandra also talked to the bar Susan new dress (3)about Halloween and what they are doing this year as most of our group are planning on going here Halloween night. The staff is all dressing up as characters from Rocky Horror Picture Show so that will be a lot of fun and they are also having a costume contest, it should be a fun night although I most likely wont be able to make it. If I do it will be early as I wont be able to stay out late.

It was a fun night out.

October 18, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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