Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Super Bowl Sunday

Well today is Super Bowl Sunday and the Broncos are playing the Panthers. Now I am not a big football fan by any means but some of the girls were going to the 52nd Ave. Sports Bar to watch the game so I figured I would go. After all it really wasn’t about what we were doing it was about being out with my friends. I started getting ready with the hopes of being on my way by 1 as I knew some of the girls were getting there early, the game didn’t start till 3:30 but I think Cassandra was going to get there by noon. Well it took a little longer getting ready so it was about 1:30 when I left home. My neighbor across the street was in his garage and I know his wife knows about me so I am pretty sure he does also so I wasn’t too worried about leaving.

I got to 52nd Ave sports bar just before 2 and went in, Cassandra, Cristine, Veronica were already there and they all had their computers or tablets so I got mine out also. We all talked as we played on our electronic devises. I wrote my blog from last night at Harvey’s. Today actually makes 3 days in a row for Susan being out so it has been an awesome weekend. Laura Jenny and Sophia showed up so we had a good size group. It wasn’t long and Stacy, Michelle, Michele (in male mode), Cassie and another girl showed up so we had at least 11 of us there.

By 3 the bar was packed so it was good we got there early to get tables. Some of the girls were dressed casual and some had their team jersey on ( Cassandra and her Broncos jersey) she is a huge Bronco fan as were most people in the bar. I wore a my black and white dress and heels after all I am not a football fan I was here to be Susan and have fun.

At 3 the bar put out a Taco buffet and it was free, I think some of the regulars brought in food also for this. I wish I had known as I would have brought some food also. The food was really good so a big thanks to the Bar for this and anyone who brought some of the food. I have only been here a couple times over the last 3 years as the girls come here mostly for Monday night football and I just can’t make it on Mondays as I get up 20160207_135819to early during the week for work. Of course I did have to have one picture of me today, I took this in my car when I first got here. 

WE all got our food and sat down to watch the big game. It was actually a good game, reasonably close. There were some good plays and some not so good plays and at Half time the Broncos were winning. Now the half time show was just as good as the game at least for me and what I really enjoyed were the commercials. It is the one time a year where they really do have good commercials, they spend a fortune making these commercials and pay a fortune to have them on during the Super Bowl. I think I read someplace that the TV network will make 700 million dollars on the commercials they run during the game and if it goes into overtime they can push that to almost a billion dollars.

well ten second half started and it was just as good as the first half. The Broncos did a good job and kept the Panthers from scoring a lot. in the end the Broncos won 24 to 10. I really expected a higher score as both teams have good offence. It was about 7:30 when the game got over and people started to leave. I stayed a little and talked with my friends.

I finally went up to pay my bill and Cassie was sitting at the bar talking to 2 woman. Cassie introduced me to them and they both told me how pretty I was and how wonderful my makeup looked so I liked them right away. Their names were Robin and Tina and they were really nice. I stood there and talked with them for maybe 20 minutes and of course I had to show them a few of my pictures in my blonde hair. It is amazing how much a different color hair can make you look.

well it was now getting late and I have to be up at 4 am for work so I told everyone good night and was on my way. what a fun day it was. I always say it really is not about what we do as a group but rather the people I am out with that makes it so awesome and I really do have some awesome friends and have met some wonderful people as Susan.

thanks for reading and I hope your weekend was as wonderful as mine.



February 7, 2016 Posted by | 52nd street sports bar, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night and time for Harvey’s Comedy club

Well Saturday is here and tonight we are going to Harvey’s Comedy club which is always a fun night. We have 25 signed up to go so it should be a big turnout although I am sure a few wont make it as with a group this big something always comes up. I started getting ready at 4, it still amazes me how much I look forward to getting ready. As a male I get ready as quick as I can and usually in 20 minutes after all there really isn’t much to getting ready for my male self, shower and shave and getting dressed. Susan loves her time getting ready and trying to look pretty and lady like. I really do take a lot more pride in how Susan looks. I think it is because society holds females to a higher standard on how they look which really isn’t fair. Men a nice shirt and pants and they are good where woman it is the whole look, hair, makeup, jewelry outfit, shoes, and how it all goes together.

I was ready and on my way by 6. I got downtown and Parked and walked to Fox & Hound, Veronica was the only one there so far but Cassandra showed up just a little later so we moved from the bar to some tables as we were expecting a big group. It wasn’t long and girls started to show up. Laura, Jenny, Barb Jan, and Lynn. We stayed here till a little after 8 talking before we left and headed for Harvey’s. It was a little cool out tonight but we still had a nice walk, about 7 blocks.

Cristine was at Harvey’s when we got there and of course Star the Bar tender greeted us all with a hug. Now I know I am going to miss some people but will try my best. Sophie, Lorna, Mikaela and her wife and sister in-law, Michelle and her friend and Cassie all showed up and I know I missed someone as we had 21 that made it tonight. Now I wore the same Blue and Black dress I did a coupe weeks ago and it was a good choice as I had 2 woman tell me what a great dress it was and how Susan Mikaela at Harveys 2-6-2016pretty I looked in it while we were in the lounge waiting for the early show to get over. This is me and Mikaela.

Well it was finally time to go in and Kim had our table all set up, Kim is so awesome I always look forward to seeing her. There was a good crowd here tonight and it is always fun to people watch as you see woman in really sexy dresses and heels to those in jeans and a tee shirt. Of course I am more interested in the dresses and heels.

The show started and it was really good as always. This really is a fun night out. we all had fun and laughed all night long and that is good for you, everyone needs to laugh more. As always it went by so fast and soon it was all over. The headliner was Jackie Fabulous came over to our group and wanted a picture with us and of course you know how much I and my friend like to get pictures. It really was fun.

Well we stayed a little and talked with Kim for a while it was such a fun night. It was about 11:45 when we left and walked back to our cars. It is always sad to see the night come to an end but I will see a lot of them tomorrow as we are meeting at a bar to watch the Super Bowl.

Have a great day and thanks for reading.

February 7, 2016 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

The week is over and time finally some time for Susan

Well another long and busy week on my male side and no time for Susan till tonight. It is funny the change that comes over me when I get time for Susan, a calming happy feeling. Now I am not saying I am not happy in my male life but there is something about being Susan that makes everything good. We all have that one or two things in our lives that we love to do and look forward and can’t wait till we can do it and it makes us so happy when we can, well for me that is being Susan. No matter what is going on in my life being Susan makes it better.

I started getting ready which always puts me in a good mood as I so love transforming myself to female. it is fun to try different looks with makeup. over the last year I have really been working on my eye makeup and I think I am getting pretty good at it and the look I like. I have also been working on my lips, it is amazing how the way you draw your lips in can have a subtle change in the way you look, fuller lips make a difference if done right. Last week I tried using 2 different colors of foundation, light and dark to contour my face and I think it does make a Susan Miller at Sweet Home 2-5-2016 (1)difference so I was going to do that again tonight. Like I said I love playing with makeup. I started with my moms lipstick when I was probably 5. I just loved it, I really never thought about dressing till I was probably 12 or so. It is a shame men can’t wear makeup as that would be so awesome.

I got to Sweethome just as it started to rain really hard. Now as a guy rain really doesn’t bother me but Susan does not like getting wet. I was lucky enough to get a parking spot not far from the door but it really was raining hard so I had to use my umbrella. Now comes the challenging part, Getting out of the car gracefully in a dress and heels while holding an umbrella and also a purse and computer bag. Not easy to do and yet most woman make it look so easy but than they have had years of practice. This is something I will have to work on.

I got into Sweethome and Chris was there playing pool as always. Now last Sunday Sweethome closed for the day to remodel so I was looking forward to seeing it. they did a nice job, new curtains and new paint and even new tables and chairs. it really does look nice inside. I was glad the old bar stools were gone as I ripped so many pairs of pantyhose on them I can’t count. The new stools were really nice and had backs on them. The tables were rectangle and narrow though and only 4 people can sit at them. A lot easier to talk to the people at the table but the old tables were octangle so we could fit 5 around it really easy and if needed we could squeeze in 2 or 3 more. I ordered dinner and got out my computer to catch up on some work.

Roxy showed up a little while later and shortly after her Rachael. Rachael has been getting out more over the last few months which is really nice as she is awesome, She is one of the friends I have known the longest that I still have contact with. I really do have some wonderful friend. Alice who I met probably in 1999 or 2000 and really helped me start going out, she doesn’t get to Portland much any more but we keep in touch through e-mail. Rachel I have known for since probably 2004 or 2005. Cassandra who I met in 2006 or 2007 and got me to join her Susan Miller at Sweet Home 2-5-2016 (3)Yahoo group which really changed my life, and all the wonderful people I have met since. It is funny as my best friends are friends of Susan and are more like family.

Rachael and I got to sit and talk which was nice. she just got back from a vacation and was telling me all about it and even had some pictures. It looks like she had a wonderful time and the pictures were awesome, I would love to go there sometime. I would love to do some traveling either as my male self or even as Susan, I think as Susan would be more fun though. These are a few selphies I took.

The other group that comes here started to show up for Karaoke and they are a fun group. I have actually become friends with several of them and look forward to seeing them on Fridays also and talking with them. I love my family in our group but there is something special about having friends from outside our group or the Transgender community. When you can do that you really start to feel you fit in and are no different from anyone else and I thank them for making me and my friends feel welcome. It was good to see them Angie, Heather, Mareinna and Dawni.

Susan Miller at Sweet Home 2-5-2016 (2)Now there was one guy here tonight who kept looking at me which always makes me wonder what they are thinking. well it turns out while I was taking a few of my selphies he got behind me in one, I didn’t even notice till I was looking at the picture. I am still not use to men paying attention to me.

Karaoke was going and Chris had sang once but it was getting late so Chris and Rachael both left just before 11. I was going to pay my bill and leave also but Dawni came over and we started talking which I enjoy. We have talked many times over the last year or so but tonight we really had a good conversation and I knew it would be as she started off with I hope I don’t offend you. I really think people want to ask honest question and know more about the Transgender communality but are too worried about being politically correct. I will tell you all the same thing I told her, You can not offend me with an honest sincere question. I may tell you I don’t want to answer a particular question but I will never be offended if you truly are interested and not trying to make fun of me or other transgender people so ask away.

We got into sexuality which transgender really has nothing to do with, How ones dresses or presents themselves is about ones self images and who they are on the inside not about who they want to date or have sex with. I myself am transgender in the fact I feel I am more feminine then male, I am more comfortable as a female then male. I would love to spend more time as Susan if I could maybe even live most of my life as Susan if money was not an issue. I do not feel my body is wrong though, I do not want to change it well maybe get rid of the hair on my face and body. I think that is how you know if you should transition or not. I always tell people if I did transition I would still be a crossdresser as there would be times I would crossdress back to male. now one of my funny stories, the guy in the above picture who photo bombed me came over and sat at my table across from me while I was talking to Dawni who was standing nest to me so I only saw him out of the corner of my eye. Any way I was talking with Dawni so I didn’t pay to much attention to him but he sat there for a few minutes looking right at me, Seemed a lot longer. finally he got up and almost fell as he walked away. Dawni and I carried on our conversation. I explained that I was straight only attracted to female. The way i explained this is although I have no problem with my male body there is also nothing I find attractive or appealing about the male body. I do not like body hair on anyone especially myself. I like soft skin and the feminine form. I think most crossdressers try to emulate what they find appealing about the opposite sex. Most men when they look at a woman the first thing the notice are their breast, butt and legs. me the first things I notice is their makeup especially lipstick and eyes and then their nails, then comes cloths, heels and hair. Now I am not saying a woman hast to wear makeup to be beautiful or heels or nails as I know many wonderful and beautiful woman don’t but it is what I find appealing and catches my eye first, that first impression if you will. Wow got a little off on that. Dawni and I talked a good 15 minutes and it was nice.

Susan Miller at Sweet Home 2-5-2016 (4)Well it was now a little after 11 and I was going to leave when Samantha walked in so I decided to stay a little longer. Now the same guy from the picture above came back over and stood right in front of use and stuck out his hand as if he wanted to shake my hand but he almost fell over again and stumbled away again. I could tell he wanted to talk to me and I am not sure what he was thinking, did he think I was female, was he gay and thought I was gay was he just to drunk to know the difference. I will never know but as I said I am not interested in men and still feel uncomfortable in these situations.

Samantha was playing pool and another man came over and introduced himself to me as Larry and started talking to me. He even offered to buy me a drink which I politely declined as one I was getting ready to go but also I did not want to give him the wrong impression. We talked for about 10 minutes and he told me about what he did for a living, where he lived and I could tell he was interested in me which again made me feel a little uneasy but I guess that is part of being a girl. He seemed really nice and then he want up and sighed up to sing karaoke before coming back to talk with me some more. He asked me what music I liked and if I like country music, he even said he was thinking of asking me to dance. well I am not a dancer and I really didn’t want to dance with a man so I again politely told him I was not a dancer. Again I don’t know if he was straight or not and what he thought about me. It is funny as I really would like to know in these situations if they are looking at me as a female or as a man dressed as a female. Well we talked a few more minutes before he went back to his friends.

I went and paid my bill and then said goodbye to my friends here before I left just before midnight. it was a fun and interesting evening though.

Thanks for reading and I know this was a little longer than normal so if you ready the whole thing wow thanks.

February 6, 2016 Posted by | Sweethome, Thoughts on Crossdressing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday night out at the Escape

Susan Miller saturday nght out 1-30-2016 (2)Well another Saturday night and I am going out as I am really looking forward to seeing my friends. We herd this week that our law suit against the P-Club and Chris Penner is over, the court upheld the judgment against him and he has no more options for appealing this. It will be a fun and interesting evening.

I started getting ready about 5 which was a little later then I paned but was busy all day long. on the bright side I new what I was going to wear and just how I wanted to do my makeup. I wanted to try something new as I have been watchingSusan Miller saturday nght out 1-30-2016 (3) some online videos where woman use two different shades of foundation to contour and highlight their face. Now I did not go as far as they did but I did use a really light shade and a really dark shade in areas and then blended them and I think it turned out really well. there are many videos on this if you want more information. I actually think it turned out really well especially for a first try.

Susan Miller saturday nght out 1-30-2016 (1)I was ready to leave by 6 so it really didn’t take any longer to do this. I got to the Escape at 6:30 and went in. Cassandra was already there so we got a chance to talk about the court order and what it means now. Our attorney wants to get together with all of us and let us know what comes next, Now we did get a huge judgment against Chris Penner which really surprised us all and we really don’t think we will get anything but I am sure the state and especially our attorney will do what they can to recover the money as our attorney who was awesome and did a wonderful job did it all with no fees to us she gets nothing unless they recover money. now for me what is even more important than the money is the fact that it is now case law in Oregon that you can not discriminate against transgender or treat them any different the any other female and as they say on TV that is priceless. I am really looking forward to meeting with her one to thank her and also get more information.

Well as I had on a new dress I had to have Cassandra take a picture as ISusan Miller saturday nght out 1-30-2016 (7) tried a couple at home on timer but I wanted to make sure I had a good one also. Wow I really need to work on my pose as I really look stiff. well something for Susan to work on. Laura M and Dee showed up along with Cristine, Debbie and a few others so we had a good turnout tonight.

Now tonight I did plat some pool, Cassandra and I were Susan Miller saturday nght out 1-30-2016 (5)partners and played a few other teams and won. I actually made the winning shot on 3 of the games even though Cassandra made most of the shots. One team was was a male and female couple or at least I thought they were a couple at the start. Turns out they were friends and both thought I was beautiful. As a matter of fact the female asked is she could take me out for dinner, as a matter of fact she asked me several times and said she would give me her number which she didn’t but it still made me feel awesome. I think this is really the first time I have been asked out for a date by a woman and it was a great feeling.

Now she is a lesbian and that is fine but I am not sure she understands I am really a male who just likes to be Susan part time. I am not going to Transition and although I can look female I am still male. Still I found myself really thinking about accepting the dinner invitation but didn’t as it would be a wonderful experience. It is amazing how wonderful this makes you feel. Now her male friend I think also like me and again don’tSusan Miller saturday nght out 1-30-2016 (6) get me wrong it does feel great to have people like you, think your special, pretty, beautiful but I am not at all interested in men in that way. Any way he did talk me into singing Karaoke with him. we sang 3 dog nights song “Never been to Spain” Luckily he sang really loud and I of course sang soft so it worked out good. Right now I wont sing alone but maybe someday I will but I will sing with others.

It was a fun night and I had a wonderful time out and I did spend some time on my computer chatting with Melissa one of my pal talk friends. She is really nice, I really have made some wonderful friends as Susan. Susan really does have a wonderful life. I get to be who I am and go out and that is so important. I have a vacating coming up as I have a couple weeks I have to use and as I can’t go to Diva Las Vegas this year I am thinking about things I want to do and right now I am thinking of doing them as Susan, maybe go to the beach as I have wanted to go there and it has been years and of course there will be some shopping. It will be fun.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.

January 31, 2016 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A wonderful week and now it is time for a Friday night out.

Well it is Friday and it has been a wonderful week and I say that because we herd from our Attorney on Wednesday and the issue we had with the P-club and it owner Chris Penner is over and final, The court upheld the order in our favor.

Greetings, all!  It’s been awhile since we have been in touch, but the time has definitely come to celebrate:  BOLI’s order is finally final!  As you know, Penner appealed the Order to the Court of Appeals and argument took place last year in Madras.  The Court of Appeals upheld the Order and Penner filed a motion to reconsider.  The Court again upheld the Order.  No further appeal is available, so it’s done!

There are no more appeals available to him and the order stands, we won. Now we can put this behind us and move on knowing that the State law does in fact give protection to those who are Transgender. I really wanted to go out and celebrate on Wednesday but just could work it out so tonight, Friday night I will be out and see some of my friends.

I started getting ready at 5 and was already by 6 and on my way to Sweethome. I got there and Chris was there playing pool and also Samantha, She was in town again for the day and joined us tonight. It was good to see here again. She has a 2 hour drive to get here so she doesn’t get out as often. Well I ordered dinner and and talked a little with Samantha and a lady at the next table named Lo. I really like meeting new people.

It wasn’t long and Sara showed up, she is a member from our group that lives in California and only gets to Portland on rare occasions. I think this might have been the first time I have met her though. She is really nice and I enjoyed talking with her. She is in town for the weekend so I am sure she will go out with us tomorrow night to the Escape. Roxy also showed up so we had 5 of us tonight.

It was a fun night as I also got to see some of my other friends I have made here, Mareinna, Dawni, and Angie. This really is a nice friendly bar and the owner Paul was so nice and invited our group to come here after he herd about the P-club telling us not to come back and that was really nice and something we needed at that time.

It was pretty busy here tonight as the other group had a member with a birthday seems January is a good month for Birthday if course since I had my birthday last weekend I have to support January for birthdays. Karaoke started a little late tonight but there were a lot of people wanting to sing. ne of the ladies sang the song To Sir with Love which I haven’t herd in a long time but I really like it and she did a great job.

It was a fun night and again I was the last to leave as I stayed and listened to Dawni and Mareinna sing. It was about 11:30 when I left. As  was leaving I herd someone call my name so I stopped to see who it was Amanda. she was just getting here. She is another one of my friends I have made here. We stood in the parking lot for a while talking. It was a good night and I am hoping to go out tomorrow night to the Escape as there will be more f our group there and I am sure we will be talking about the courts order and what happens now, we all feel like celebrating as it has been a long journey. It is hard to believe that this all started back in June of 2012 that we were excluded from the P-club, it has been 3 1/2 years. it doesn’t seem like it has been that long. We hope to meet with our attorney in the next couple weeks and find out what this all means and where we go from here. I will of course keep you all up to date on what happens next

Have a great day and thanks for reading.

January 30, 2016 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the escape

Well it is Saturday evening and I am going to the Escape for the night, I was actually going early as Peggy was also going to be out tonight and we were going to get together. Now I was really looking forward to this even after my interesting morning. I was meeting Peggy at 6 so I started getting ready about 3:45. Now I was going to wear my black and white dress, I have only worn it Susan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (1)once before but it really is cute and I really like the length as it comes just below my knees.

I started with my shower and then started my makeup taking my time to make sure it was as perfect as I could get it. It is funny as I do really care how I look. Now I am not saying in my male life I don’t care how  loo I just think as Susan, being a lady I want to make sure I am the best I can be.

With my makeup all done I started getting dressed. now this dressSusan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (2) is really pretty but a little tight so that means I had to put on my waist cincher and some hip pad which are things I don’t do unless I am wearing something like this. I took extra care to make sure the hip pads were straight and looked right. now this dress also has a key hole back narrow shoulder straps which I learned last time I have to tie by bra straps together so they don’t show which takes a little work, it is hard being a lady. I got this all done and put on my ring and bracelet and of course perfume something I forgot last night when I went out.

Now it was time to get the dress on which has a side zipper and then a zipper on the back above the key hole. I unzipped the back part far enough to get my head through it as I can’t seem to get the zipper started behind my back. Finally I had my dress on and then my 4” Susan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (3)heels and I was ready. I got my computer and went out to my car in the garage and was ready to leave. Now the funny part as I was so careful to make sure my makeup was perfect, dress was perfect I new I was ready as I looked in the mirror for one last look at my makeup and you will never guess what I noticed. I had forgot my hair, yes I had my short short male hair so out of the car and back upstairs to select my hair. So glad I looked in the mirror. Now I did take a few selfie’s tonight.

I was on my way by 5:10 and got to the Escape about 5:30 as there was no traffic. I got out my computer and waited for Peggy to arrive and I only had to wait about 15 minutes as she arrived about 5:45. Turns out this is Peggy’s first time to the Escape. It was good to see Peggy again, Peggy is Cassandra’s wife and is totally supportive of Cassandra and all us T-girls and I am thankful to have her as a friend. PeggySusan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (4) and I had a wonderful time just sitting there and talking like to girlfriends, this is the normalcy that I so love when I am Susan. It is times like this when I can forget about being male or female and just be me and that is a wonderful feeling. I have so many wonderful friends in the T-Girl communities and I love them all but there is something about being able to spend time with people who are not transgender and being accepted as a person.

Susan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (6)Cassandra and Cristine showed up about 6:40, some of the girls had gone to a clothing exchange today the Laura M. and her friend Jenny put on which was awesome of them to do that. I wish I could have gone but I had things I had to do during the day.

Peggy and I ordered dinner as Cassandra and Cristine ate at the clothing exchange. A little after 7 Laura M, her Daughter and her friend Jenny showed up along with Laura H., Dee and Teresa showed up so we had 9 of us here tonight. It is so cool that Laura’s daughter comes out with her.

It was good to see Teresa again she also doesn’t get out with the group as much an more. Our group really is a wonderful group as we have members from the full range from wives andSusan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (7) girlfriends, to friends and those who are supportive, to those who only dress at home on private to those who have or are in the process of transitioning and that gives our group a distinct perspective. It also gives one a chance to understand all aspects of the gender community a little better.

Now it was a slow night here tonight so when Karaoke started Laura M and Laura H were the first 2 to sing and also the 4th and 5th to sing. They actually sand several times each while Cassandra played pool with some of the Susan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (8)other costumers, there were 2 couples sitting by the window that had been playing pool since before I showed up. they seemed fine with us and it turns out they were visiting Portland and had come here for the evening to play pool. Cassandra won several games against both of the men and one of the ladies although the lady almost won. I think they had a good time even though they lost to Cassandra.

It was a little before 10 when Peggy and Teresa left. It was sad to see them leave. I really enjoyed visiting with them and I look forward to seeing them again and maybe getting together with Peggy again for dinner.

I stayed a little longer and listened to some more Karaoke and watchedSusan in her cute dress Jan 23 2016 (9) Cassandra win a couple more games of pool, she was really having a good night for pool. It was about 10:30 when I paid my bill and called it a night. I said my goodbyes and left. Cassandra was also leaving and I had some stuff for her in my trunk so we walked out together and move the stuff from my car to hers and then I was on my way home. It was a wonderful night out with my friend well they are more like my family.

Now tomorrow some of the girls are going to watch the football playoffs at 52nd street sports bar and although I am not a big football fan it would be fun to go but I can’t as my other side, my male self will be spending it with my family as they will be in town for the day for my birthday. So I will be looking forward to next weekend and my time as Susan.

Thanks for reading


January 24, 2016 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Interesting quick Saturday morning post

Okay this is not my normal post as most of my posts are about by time going out as Susan but I just had to share this. Now normally when I gat home on Friday nights I am tired and I just want to go to bed and as such I don’t remove my makeup. I know this is bad as everything I have read says you shouldn’t sleep in your makeup as it is not good for your skin but I figure 1 night a week is okay plus I wash my sheets on Saturday so I can clean any makeup off of them. Now the other reason I do this is on Saturday mornings I get up and write my blog about Friday night and although I really don’t dress just to stay at home I enjoy the time writing my blog as Susan so on Saturday morning I get up and touch up my makeup and I have a really casual red dress that I have used for when I am just at home that I put on and then my dark hair and I go downstairs.

I make some oatmeal for breakfast and eat as I do my blog. Now one reason I don’t dress and stay home as I really want to go out when I am Susan but the other reason is I am afraid someone especially family will stop by. Now my parents have a code to get into my garage as I am storing some of their stuff in my garage and of course once in the garage they could come into the house. Any way because of this I sit in the front living room facing the front window with the curtains open about half way so I can see if a car pulls into my drive plus I can also hear the garage door open in this room and this has happened on a few occasions and I had  to run upstairs and get in the shower. Now I have had a few close calls over the last few years. The problem is the unexpected.

Well I was sitting their this morning eating breakfast and writing my blog when I saw something move outside my front window, someone had walked up my front sidewalk, there was no car in the drive but I heard a knock on the front door. Now of course I had that moment of panic as I wondered who it was. I figured it was someone walking around selling something or maybe leaving political flyers. I thought about getting up and going into the kitchen incase they so they wouldn’t see me if they looked through the window.

Before I could get up and moved I saw someone looking through the window and I had that panic again as it was the neighbor lady, not one of the ones who knows about Susan at least not that I know. Now I am on the far side of the room and of course it is not real bright inside so I am sure she didn’t get a really good look at me but she waved at me and went back and knocked on the door again. Now I was caught between a rock and a hard space as she has seen someone and new there was someone home. I thought for a brief second and then got up and walked to the front door. I took a deep breath  and while standing kind of behind the door I opened it a couple inches, enough to talk with her. now she really couldn’t see me except for just a little bit of my face.

She asked if I was home using my male name. I as calmly as I could told her no he wasn’t. She asked when I would be home as she had no hot water and didn’t know what to do and was hoping I could come look at it. I told her he ( I ) should be home in about an hour and would let him know. she thanked me and left. I don’t know if she knew or recognized me. I went back and finished my breakfast thinking about what had just happened.

After breakfast I went and took a shower being sure to get all traces of makeup off. now back to my male self I had to work up the courage to go next door to my neighbors and see if I could help her. Now I think I more more worried and scared going over there lie this wondering if she new it was me or if she would say something about it or ask me who the woman was that answered my door.

I walked next door and checked things out, looks like she had just tripped a circuit breaker so I reset it. She thanked me for my help and we talked for a few minutes before I left and went back to my house. She never said anything about the person who answered the door or gave any indications she suspected anything.

After wards I wondered what she would have thought if I had just opened the door to her and let her meet me. Two of my neighbors do know about Susan and they seem fine with my this but they have never met Susan face to face. Maybe some day.

Well that was how my Saturday morning started off and it has made an interesting blog. Thanks for reading

January 23, 2016 Posted by | Almost Caught | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Friday and time for Susan to go out.

Well it has been a busy week and unlike last week where I got out 4 times this week I was busy every day so I am really looking forward to tonight. I think how far I have come as Susan and accepting this part of who I am. I am quite comfortable expressing this side of myself and Susan has an impact on pretty much every part of my life. It is fun to look back on my blogs and see how I have grown which is why I started my blog and I am fast approaching 800 blog posts. I also want to thank all of you who have read my blog and followed my journey. I never really thought people would even find my blog let alone read it.

I started getting ready by 4, even after all this time I still look forward and enjoy my time becoming Susan. I really think the best thing you can do for yourself and to stay healthy is to have something in your life you love to do and can look forward to and for me that is Susan. I would encourage everyone to find that one thing in your life you love and embrace it. I took my time getting ready and enjoyed it. I was ready by 6 and on my way.

I got to Sweethome by 6:20 and went in. Chris was there playing pool. I got out my computer and caught up n some e-mails. Robyn showed up so we had 3 of us and it wasn’t even 7 yet. We talked for a bit and then ordered dinner, the special tonight was Chicken Cordon Bleu and it was awesome. they really do have good food here. this really is a nice friendly neighbor hood bar.

Jan and Lynn also made it tonight and it was nice to see them again. Roxy and Michelle also showed up s we had a good group tonight. Michelle brought me a donut that was decorated to look like a swan, it was really cute and as I had already had cheesecake for desert I decided to save it and take it home.

Now there are also all the friends I have made here and I look forward to seeing them also. some of my friends here are Heather, Dawni, Mareinna, Jessica, Michele, Amanda, Angie, Rachel and her wife Heather, Kelsie and more and they were all here tonight. it really is amazing the people I have met and got to know as Susan while being out as I still remember when I just dressed at home.

Karaoke started and that is always fun as I love watching them sing and on the songs I like I do sing along at the table. it was a fun night. As it got later some of our group left, Chris had a pool tournament early Saturday so he didn’t stay as late as he normally does. by 11 it was just Jan, Lynn and I left from our group.

It was just a little later when Jan and I paid our bills as we were getting ready to leave, Jan and Lynn left but I stayed just a little longer as I liked a couple of the songs they were singing. one was My girl and the guy who sang it did really well and had the whole bar singing with him and several or them dancing. it was a really fun night. It was about 11:40 when I left but it was a good night.

Thanks again to all you who have found and read my blog and have followed me on my journey.

January 23, 2016 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape, my 4th night out this week.

Well it is Saturday and even though I have had a chance to be Susan 3 times this week I am going to go to the Escape tonight to hang out with my friends. I started getting ready at 4 so I could get there a little early as I do have a few things I need to do on my computer.  A nice shower and time to do my makeup. now I start with my foundation and wouldn’t you know it none comes out. Now I know I have another bottle but I can’t find it. Seems I didn’t put everything back after I hid everything during the Holidays when I had family over, I spent about 15 minutes looking for it before I resorted to using Q-tips to get as much foundation out of the bottle as I could and was able to get enough to do the job. Now don’t get me wrong still enjoyed getting ready just a little bump in the road which I am sure other woman have had happen.

I got all done with my makeup and was deciding what to wear tonight. Now if it is busy at the escape I will have to park across the street and walk so I decided I would wear my cream sweater and my 3” cream wedges as they are really comfortable. I started getting dressed and went to put my panty hose on and they had a run so I went to get another pair only to find out I had no more except for a pair of jet black ones. Well I knew the shoes would not look right and wasn’t sure about the dress so back to the closet. I looked over my dresses and I have a really cute dark blue dress I love but it is a little short but with jet black panty hose it would be fine as they almost looked like tights. I put them on only to find they are not the same size as I wear, they were really tight but I got them on and chose my 4” spiked heels as they look really good with this outfit. I was ready to go by 5:45 so I was going to be able to get there by 6.

I got my stuff and got in the car, as I sat down I noticed how short the dress was. Seems they always ride up when you sit but the black panty hose worked. Now with these heels I was hoping getting to the Escape early would let me park right in front. I got there just a little after 6 and there were several parking spots right in front of the door so I was happy. I got my stuff and started to get get out of the car and as I swung my legs out I felt my panty hose go and anyone who has worn panty hose knows if you can feel it then it is more than a run. I turned on the light in my car and I guess they were to tight as they were shredded on the right leg. I couldn’t wear them as they really looked bad so back into the car and I removed them so now I have a short dress that I will have to be careful with all night. I guess you have to have one of those nights where everything goes wrong.

I got inside and got a table and ordered dinner and got out my computer as I waited for others to show up. Laura H. and her friend Lisa were the first to arrive. Debbie and Laura M arrived a little later. We also had a few more girls show up so we had 9 of us all together. We had a nice time talking and watching football. We watched the last quarter of the Green Bay Packer and the Arizona Cardinal’s game. It was a really good ending, I am not a big football fan but when you get t the playoffs it is a lot more fun. Arizona won and I think from the reaction in the bar that was who most people were going for.

After the game they started Karaoke which is always fun, I don’t sing but it is fun to listen as some of them are really good. It was a good night out as always and after a rocky start it all went well other them being careful when I sat or stood with my short dress. It was about 11:45 when I went and paid my bill, said my goodbyes and left.

January 17, 2016 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night, could be a quiet night

Well it has been a good week for Susan as I got out long enough for a manicure and pedicure on Tuesday and then again on Thursday for a short visit with my friend in the hospital and now Friday is here and I am going out again. now I wasn’t sure how many or even if any of our group would be out as I know Chris wont be at Sweethome tonight but I decided I would go anyway and at least have dinner. I really love my Susan time.

Okay I am going to take a little side track here as I have been getting a few people telling me I should transition and that I know I want to so I thought I would take up this topic and I want you all to know I did do a lot of thinking about this before I decided to put it in my blog. No I do not want to transition, I do not feel my body is wrong and I do not want to be a woman physically. now that being said do I think or wish I had breast, yes when I am Susan I would love to have real breast, wider hips, narrower waist, and while we are at it 6 inches shorter and smaller feet but this is just when I am Susan. when I am my male self I don’t wish for these things. I like my male side also and although the Susan side is stronger I need both so if I did transition full time I would still be a crossdresser as I would at times be crossdressing back to my male self which is strange to if you think about it.

Now yes if men could have long pretty nails I would do this all the time as I love them and yes if men could wear makeup I would probably do that all the time, if men could wear dresses and heels I would do that too but not all the time. there are parts of being Susan and being feminine I do wish I could do in my male life. now don’t get me wrong I love going out with my friends as they are a big part of my life and who I am, they have helped me become who I am but what I really miss is the for lack of a better word smaller things in life, the more routine normal day to day things. I think that is why I enjoyed spending time with my friend and his wife at the hospital. Why I love going and getting my nails done. the things woman do on their own or in small groups of one or two. To just be out as myself doing day to day things and being accepted. I have gone to many nails salons over the years and always been treated wonderful, Dream nails where I go now is awesome and they always treat me like I belong there. I do get a few looks from some of the other woman there but I have never had a bad experience or anyone treat me bad. I think it is more curiosity as they may never have seen someone like me but on occasion when I am sitting next to someone in the chair they will talk to me and that makes it all the better. I know they are not fooled by how I am dressed but when they can treat me like they would treat any other lady there then it is wonderful. s yes I would like to see Susan be an even bigger part of my life.

Now this year I can’t make it to Diva Las Vegas which is really sad as I do look forward to spending 12 days living full time as Susan and getting acrylic nails. On the other had this gives me a little over 2 weeks of vacation  have to use in the next 3 months and as I was saving most of it for Diva Las Vegas now I am thinking what else can I do. I will take a week in February and a week in March and I am thinking maybe of getting acrylic nails for one of those weeks and even if I don’t do that I will defiantly go to the nail salon and get them painted a pretty color and I will probably get the gel polish so they stay pretty the whole week, not sure if I will go any place though but it will be nice to have pretty nails.

Well back to tonight, I got all ready and was on my way by 6, I got there by 6:30 and parked and went in. it was a little busy but no one from my group was here. I sat at a table and got out my computer, went up to the bar and ordered dinner and caught up on some work while I waited. I was still not sure if any others would show up but I figured being Susan here and having dinner was better then being at home. Besides Sweethome has really good food. Now although no one from our group was here the other group that comes here was and I know several of them and a few of them came over and talked with me, Heather who is so sweet and awesome. she knows everyone and always has a hug for you and I think we all need more hugs. She came over and we talked for a while, Also Dawni and Mareinna (she was in boy mode tonight) came over and gave me hugs also. I really think this is the best part of being Susan, being feminine is that it is normal for woman to greet each other with a hug. You know this may be why woman live longer then men.

Well I decided to stay and see if any others showed up later so I finished up my work on my computer and then went into one of the chat rooms and chatted with a couple friends for a while. It was about 8:45 when I saw Robyn at the bar, she had just showed up. We sat together and she said Diane and a friend of hers name Jill were also going to be here tonight so that was nice. They both showed up around 10. I know Diane and it was good to see her again but I have never met Jill before and I really like meeting new people. Turns out Jill used to be in a band Called The Nasty Habits which is a Transgender rock band. She lives here by Portland now and she is in a new band also. how cool is that. It was nice to talk with her and get to know a little about her. It really was a fun night and it was 11:45 when I called it an evening.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day and remember be who you are and don’t let others influence you into being someone you are not.

January 16, 2016 Posted by | Sweethome, Thoughts on Crossdressing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment


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