Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Zoom meeting with friends on Wednesday night May 19th

Well another Wednesday night and that means a zoom meeting with my friends, now over the next 2 weeks we will be switching to Monday nights so we can start our Wednesday night dinners out in person. I got home and started getting ready so I could take my time as I so enjoy my time getting ready. I really love makeup and trying different looks and yes, they may be subtle like shades of eye shadow or shape of brows or lips but it is just so much fun. I know a lot of girls both Cisgender and Transgender who have their look and do their makeup the same way every time and that is fine for them as there is no one way to do everything. For me my journey started with makeup and I love it and trying different looks. Monday was brown and black smokey eye and tonight was deep purples. It is just so much fun. I was all ready by 6:20 so I had time to call and talk with my mom for a while, she is really having a hard time with the isolation. I can go over and visit her in her room and I try to do that 2 or 3 times a week and Sundays we spend the day together but as they still have restrictions, she spends most of her day alone in her room watching TV.

I got off the phone just in time to start my zoom meeting at 7 and a couple girls were waiting. Now tonight we technically had 17 but only 14 windows open. We had Nicole, Jennifer, Melissa, Jan & Lynn, Danika, Danielle, Antonia, Driel, Trish, Maille, Mary Tori, Kitty and me, now you may say that is only 15 but one of them was Jennifer’s daughter in-law and yes part of the time her Son was on and even her granddaughter which was so cool. Her daughter in-law has joined in the last few weeks which is great, Jennifer is so lucky to have such a wonderful and supportive family.

We all talked for a while and just caught up and yes, I was asked about my Las Vegas trip especially about my flight home which was fun. In my blog about it I may have come across as being disappointed in the experience and that was not the case it was fun but I had built it up as this big, wonderful adventure and it was pretty normal. I think a was hoping for the thrill and excitement that I felt when I first started going out and as I have become so comfortable with this part of who I am I just don’t get that anymore and that is okay as I have integrated Susan into my life as a normal regular part of who I am and that is the best feeling I can have.

Now we did talk a little about moving our meetings to Monday, nest week I will once again host a Monday and Wednesday meeting and then the first week of June we will g to Monday only with the hope of doing our first Wednesday night dinner on June 2nd. I am kind of thinking Spaghetti Factory for our first dinner, then maybe Southland whiskey kitchen and then maybe Who song and Larry, maybe Mothers Bistro, Mama Mia, and Swagat although maybe Southland Whiskey kitchen should be our first as that was our last official Wednesday night group dinner before the virus shut things down, one of the advantages of my blog is I can quickly look back. We really should find a few more places maybe have a some of the other girls come up with ideas and maybe set up and host a dinner to keep it fresh.

Now it was time for Jennifer’s question or the week and we all look forward to these as they can get some good conversation going. Tonight’s question was how much thought and effort do we put into our outfit and look when we dress and how does it compare to our male side. Now there was a lot of similarities on this between the girls, the big take away is we all put more thought and effort into our female presentation. Now for me I very rarely go with my first choice of outfits for Susan. the reason for me is my makeup. how I do my makeup really does affect my choice of outfits as different makeup looks can look better with different outfits. A deeper red lipstick looks better with darker clothes and my choice of hair can also affect this. A bright red lipstick (my favorite shade) looks better with brighter colors especially red dresses, here is a blog to see what I mean. Now I know some of the girls can try on multiple outfits and I have on occasion tried on several outfits before picking the right one but usually it is just realizing the original outfit doesn’t fit my makeup look. There really is a lot of thought to this process, once you have the makeup, hair and outfit, there is still the shoes and jewelry to consider. Way more effort, just look at my vacation last week to Las Vegas, I was there for 4 nights and I took 6 dresses, 3 different wigs, 6 pairs of shoes, 5 pairs of leggings, 3 pairs of capris, 2 skinny jeans, 2 skirts and 9 tops, no Susan does not travel light.

In comparison my male wardrobe is pretty basic, I have 1 suit. 3 dress shirts with 3 ties, the rest of my male clothes are a few pairs of shorts and jeans and pullover shirts or a tee shirt kind. My jeans are all the same so it really looks loke I wear the same thing every day other then the color of my shirts and even that is pretty basic, dark blue, black, dark green or white. There really is nothing to coordinate on my male side. No jewelry and my shoe choice is a black dress shoe or one of my 3 black tennis shoes. My last trip to Las Vegas as my male self was 5 nights and I took 5 underwear, 5 socks, 5 shirts, 5 jeans and 1 pair of tennis shoes. My daily choice of shirts was what ever was on top. It is way more fun as Susan to pick and outfit and look for the day. Just look at the difference between what woman wear and men wear and you can see it. As I said it was interesting to hear some of the other girls are the same way, way more feminine clothes and a greater variety.

Now we also talked about when we go out and one of the comments, we get a lot from other cisgender woman is that we put more effort and thought into how we look then they do. Now I am not saying that in a negative way as cisgender woman can naturally look beautify where for us, we really have to work at it. we talked some more and it was about 8:45 when girls started to sign off and by 9, we were down to just 3 of us, Nicole, Danika and me. The 3 of us talked a little longer before we said good night and signed off. Now I am looing forward to Saturday and a little Susan time in the afternoon.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 22, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night May 17th zoom meeting

It is Monday and I am hosting a zoom meeting tonight, the next 2 weeks I will do a Monday and Wednesday meeting and starting in June we will do Monday night zoom meetings and Wednesday night dinners which some of us are really looking forward to. Now this will be fun as it will ad a new Susan night to my week, Monday, Wednesday and Saturday nights. I am really hopeful this transition of bights goes well,

I got home and took my tie getting ready, this is my me time. I really enjoy my time getting ready and transforming myself to Susan and yes ding my makeup. now I blog about every time I become Susan and have for 15 + years and have 1,458 blogs and there is probably another 200 times or so I dressed just at home and that may seem like a lot but it really is not when you think of growing up as a girl. What I mean by that id if I had grown up as a female and dressed everyday doing makeup and started at maybe 12 years old the number of days would be less than 5 years and that would mean my girl dressing age at between 16 & 17. I know some woman who have done makeup every day for 20, 30, 40 years or more and are tired of it but or me it is still new and fun.

Was ready by 6:30 and called and talked to my mom till 7 when I started the meeting. Now Danika and Nicole was waiting. Now for tonight it would be just us 3. I like the nights we have a lot of girls but having a smaller group makes it easier to talk. One of the things we talked about was how Nicole does her slide shows of pictures when she does not have her video on and she uses another standalone program for that and I can’t remember the name of it. We had a wonderful time and the 3 of us talked till about 8:30 before calling it a night.

Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights Zoom meeting and thinking about our first Wednesday night dinner on June 2nd. I am thinking Spaghetti factory. Melissa sent me a list of some of the restaurants we had been going to and I will look back through my blogs. What I want to do is get a list for a few weeks out and ask people to let me know by Monday at 5pm if they plan on attending that weeks Wednesday night dinner so I have time to call and make reservations.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 20, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , | Leave a comment

Saturday May 15th and the last Day of Susan’s vacation.

Well it is Saturday and my vacation as Susan comes to an end, tomorrow I will spend the day with my mom and Monday back to work, it has been a fun week. Cassandra texted me today and the casinos have lifted the mask requirements and no one is wearing them, of course it’s the day after I left. Well I got up this morning a little before 8 as I do have a zoom meeting for my male side at 9 but I will be Susan just have my video turned off. It is kind of fun to do this as the people in the meeting have no idea how I am dressed. I was ready right at 9 in time for my meeting. The meeting only lasted about 50 minutes so I had time after to finish my blog from yesterday and post it. this was my blog about my trip home flying as Susan on Alaska Airlines, it is a long blog almost twice as long as my normal blog but I wanted to fit everything in, if you read the whole thing thanks.

Now I did go through all my expenses from my Las Vegas trip and figure out my cash and best I can tell is I won $86 on the trip but I am guessing there are a few more things I paid cash for and don’t remember but either way it was a good trip. I don’t expect to win a lot as I play for fun and am just as happy (probably more happy) at a $5 table. My goal is to have a good time and hopefully break even. I have a great system. Buy in with what you are willing to lose and then every time you win put some in your purse. If I am playing $15 a hand every hand, I win I put at least $5 in my purse, if I have a good run of winning hands, I put more in my purse. Always make sure you walk away with something.

It was a little after 12 now and I got a few pictures at home and then decided to go to the Starbucks by my house and catch up on E-mails and a little work I needed to take care of on my computer. This Starbucks is my daytime one as they have been closing at 3 and even before COVID they were closing at 7. I got there and got a drink and went and sat outside as it was so nice. They have 7 tables and 4 were taken. I stayed here till a little after 2 and then decided to drive down by the river and see how crowded it was. I got down there and there were a lot of people walking as this is a great place to walk and get exercise. East of the bridged you can walk about 1 ½ one way and you can walk to the other side of the bridge from here and have about the same on the other side which a lot of people do.

I did find a parking spot so I figured I would take a walk; I did get a couple quick pictures when there was a break of people. Now with all the people on the walk there was at least double that down on the beach along the water. Girls laying out sunbathing or playing on the beach and yes some were even in the water. I spent over an hour here walking and enjoying the sunshine, it was only about 80 which was much nicer than the 95+ we had in Las Vegas. It was about 3:45 when I left here and I still needed to go to Fred Meyers to do some shopping as I need some food and dinner for tomorrow with my mom. I decide to stope at Wendy’s and get something to eat. I got to Wendy’s and went in and ordered my food and it came to $9.55 so I told her I had the change and gave her $9.60. Now I hate to be picky but she saw me with change and put some back into my wallet and when I noticed her getting change, I asked if she didn’t have a $1 bill and she told me the total was $9.65 so I misunderstood her which was my fault but she could have said something and when I tried to give her a nickel, she told me she had already put the total in so I wound up with .95 change.

I got to Fred Meyers and went in to do my shopping and they still require masks. I went in and did my shopping and almost everyone was wearing a mask. Some stores are dropping the mask requirements so I think as more do it will put pressure on the rest to also do the same or risk losing business. I did my shopping and then headed home to put my stuff away.

It was about 5:30 now and I decided to go to Starbucks again but the one I normally go to by Fred Meyers for a little while and work on my blog from today. Now starting Monday Starbucks will no longer require vaccinated people to wear masks which is good. I got there and the wind had picked up so I went inside and ordered my drink and set up my computer at a table inside which was actually good as my battery was below half from earlier in the day. Now really, I have been here and as long as I have a drink sitting at a table, I haven’t worn a mask but I will be able to walk in and out without a mask. I sat here and started on my blog from today and a couple of the girls who work said hi to me and commented on not seeing me much over the last year, which is true but that should change, I hope if I can find the time. We are moving our weekly zoom meetings to Monday night so that will be a Susan night and starting the first Wednesday of June we are hoping to start our Wednesday night dinners again so that will be another Susan night. It was a good day out. I stayed here till about 8pm before going home for the night. I spent the rest of the night watching TV and finishing my blog from today. I stayed up till a little after 11 before calling it a night and ending my 5 days living as Susan.

Stay safe and happy as things are getting back to normal. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with ne and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.


May 16, 2021 Posted by | Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday May 14th and I leave Las Vegas on a plan as Susan

Well it is Friday the day I have been looking forward to as Susan gets to take her first flight as Susan, something I have wanted to do for a long time. This is a long blog today, sorry for that. Early on as Susan there were lots of new things and first-time events but now that Susan has become such a normal part of my life these events are rare. It was about 1am last night when I got to bed and I set my alarm for 8:30 am so it would be a short night but it turned out to be even shorter as I had trouble sleeping thinking about tomorrow and how much fun it would be and yes, a little scary. On top of that I woke up at 7:30 so I just got up and started getting ready as I wanted to look my best. Full makeup, a purple eye shadow, false eye lashed and yes, my long pretty red nails I was all ready by 10 and had all my stuff packed and was ready to go. All that was left was to check out of my room and have Cassandra drive me to the airport. Now lots of our girls have flown before as their female self or as some say flying pretty but I will be all on my own once Cassandra drops me off outside of the airport. I booked my ticket online but I will have to go in and get my luggage checked, go through TSA security and board the plan by myself and that is a little intimidating but also very exciting and I think that it will be a blast.

Cassandra met me at the front lobby as I checked out and then we walked to the car, which was a long way, Cassandra was her male self. we got to the airport right at 11:30 and she dropped me off and now I was on my own and you know I really didn’t think about how I was dressed. I had checked in online this morning but I still needed to go to a kiosk and print my 2 tags for my 2 checked bags. I got there and just as I was finishing this lady came over and said she could scan my bags in for me and asked for my ID. I gave her my passport and told her I looked a little different and she just said we all do. With my bags checked I asked her where my flight was and she said gate D37, to go down the hall and go through security and then tack the tram to the gate, seems we are a long way from where my plan is. I walked down and got in line and it really wasn’t that long maybe 50 people.

As I stood there the man in front of me turned around and asked me if all he needed was the scan code on his phone. I told him I wasn’t sure as I don’t fly much, as a matter of fact, last time I flew was when I took my parents t Hawaii back in 2014 and before that was 1997, but I told him I thought that was all he needed as that is what everyone told me. Well we started talking as we waited and he asked where I was going and I said Portland, well it turns out so is he and we are on the same flight. Well he introduced himself, his name was Jim and of course I gave him my name. well we talked the whole time we waited to get through security.

Now it was my turn to go through security so I had taken all my jewelry off, my shoes off, the only thing I was worried about was my bra which is underwire. I went in and stood with my hands over my head and they scanned me and went I came our he said miss will you go over to that officer and pointed t a female so I walked over and she asked if I had any pain in my shoulder which seemed strange but I said no so she reached up and touched my left shoulder and I realized it was the metal adjuster on my bra. It was very quick and she thanked me calling me miss and I was on my way. Now I had to put my sandals back on and my jewelry and the earrings took a little work as I have never put my hoop earrings on without using a mirror to see the holes. Now once again I was on my way and yes Jim was still there talking to me and he seemed like a really nice guy and I wondered what he was thinking. We took the tram to the D concourse and walked down to gate 37. When we got there, he said he had to call his daughter and he walked off so I went and used the bathroom and got something to eat and wondered what he thought. After all I am wearing a face mask, could he possibly think I am a female?

I got my food but all the tables were full so I went over and sat at a long table for plugging in to recharge electronics or use a laptop and sat there and ate s I saw others doing it. mow I was able to take my mask off to eat but got a quick picture first. Now as I ate there was a man about 5 feet to my right and a lady came up across from me to eat her lunch and just down from her across from the man next to me Jim came over to eat. Well we talked a little more as he told me how good his soup was and if I was still hungry, I should try it. now he was looking right at me and no mask so I have to believe he knew.

It was almost 1 when I went down to my gate to wait and I didn’t have to wait long as about as about 1:15 they started loading first class and yes that was me as I got a really good deal on my flight. Now a I stood there a lady started talking with me, she was traveling with her husband and granddaughter. Just casual talk but it was fun as we waited. I was in my seat by 1:15, I had seat 1A right in the front and next to a window. A few minutes later a young man sat down next to me and he was traveling with his daughter and she was probably 5 or 6 at the most and she was right across the aisle from him. He was talking to one of the flight attendants so I told him I could switch with her so she could sit next to him, he thanked me so I gave up my window seat for an aisle seat. Now this put me in a good spot to watch all the people coming on the plane and yes, they also got a good look right at me. The plane was completely full and everyone onboard by 1:45 as we pulled away from the gate right on time.

Now we had 4 flight attendants, 1 male and 3 female and the 3 females all had on really cute blue dresses that came just above their knees. Well up front was the male flight attendant and the youngest of the female ones, she was probably early 20’s. now she was about 5 feet in front of me and she sat facing me. Now once we were in the air she came around and took our drink order and she complimented me on my nails which I always like. By the time she brought me my drink I was working in my blog from yesterday. She asked me if I was writing a book and I said no just my blog. Well we talked a little about blogs as she said she had one but didn’t do much with it. I told her I was writing about my vacation in Las Vegas which is true. It was a good flight and I got to Portland right at 4 and being in the front of the plane I was one of the first off. It took me about 20 minutes to get my luggage and get outside where Julie was going to pick me up, Thanks Julie. Now as I waited for Julie, I thought about my day so far and it really was a letdown in a way. It was so easy with no problems and for the most part it felt so normal and a lot of the time I really didn’t even think about how I was dressed or being Susan. I think I had built it up so big as this incredible adventure and it really was just a normal flight home. It was still a lot of fun though as it was a first for Susan.

Julie pocked me up about 4:30 as Julie as she is going to drive me out to Cassandra’s house to get my car but we are going to have dinner first. It was so awesome to see her again, really wish she had been able to join us in Las Vegas. We decided to go to Outback Steakhouse out by Beaverton as it is on the way to get my car. As she drove, we talked about my Vegas trip and she had been reading my blog ad asked me about the other girl I kept talking about. Now this is my bog documenting my life and I never post pictures of others without their permission and I am fine with that. Not everyone wants their picture on the internet. Well in the same way we have one girl who doesn’t want her name out there either and I respect that, hence the other girl in my blog.

We got to the Outback and went in, as we walked in the girl at the counter said hi ladies just 2 and showed us to our table. Now they still required masks till you get to you table and I was fine with that, I think it will take a while for individual businesses to decide what they want to do with the new guidelines on masks and again if you feel you need to wear in then that’s what you do if you don’t feel that way don’t wear one and I am fine with that as it is your personal right and freedom.

Our waiter cam over and he was awesome, so polite and treated us wonderful. Asked if we wanted straws with our drinks, always called us ladies or miss, was engaging with us. Asked us how our day was going, if we had any plans for Friday night and when he heard I had just got back from Vegas talked with me a little about Vegas. He made us feel totally welcome and he was glade we were there, just awesome and it wasn’t just because we were transgender as I noticed he did the same thing to the 2 other tables around us. He was younger but he was what a waiter should be so yes, he will get a good tip.

Julie and I had a wonderful dinner and I should have gotten a picture of us but forgot. It is one of those things when I am Susan for several days in a row it just seems so normal that I tend not to think about pictures. We had a nice dinner and wonderful conversation and it was so nice to see Julie again in person and just spend time with her. we are both looking forward to starting our Wednesday night dinners. I am going to work on getting our Zoom meetings switched over to Mondays by the end of May so we can Start June with Dinners in person. After dinner Julie drove me the rest of the way to Cassandra’s so I could pick up my car and then it was home for my vacation to come to an end. It was a great trip and so much fun to fly as Susan even though it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading this long blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what I am doing now.

May 15, 2021 Posted by | Las Vegas, Susan Time | , , , , | 5 Comments

Thursday May 13th and the 3rd full day in Las Vegas as Susan

Well it is Thursday and day 3 of being Susan full time in Las Vegas. I got up about 9 and started getting ready. Cassandra hast to do some work today so she won’t even start getting ready till at least 2pm. I texted Peggy and Veronica to see what they were going to do and Peggy was just going to relax but Veronica wanted to walk around the Forum Shops so I told her I would meet her at 11:30. I took my time and yes, I did my makeup look how I want it to look tomorrow when I fly home, kind of a practice look and yes it includes false eye lashes.

I was ready by a little after 11 and went down to meet Veronica. We started off in a little shop on the edge of the casino where Peggy bought a couple cute tops yesterday. I did try on a couple things but didn’t buy anything although I did break my face mask so I had to run up to my room really quick which turned out really good as I got to ride down in an elevator with 7 girls all in their early 20’s heading for the pool and we talked a little on the way down.

Veronica and I walked over to the Forum shops and spent about 1/2 Hours walking around window shopping and talking. I did get Veronica to get a few pictures of me. It was such a relaxing time and there were a lot of people here o am guessing doing the same thing as you didn’t see many people with bags. It was about 2 when we headed back to out rooms to rest and clen up as we are going to walk the strip later today and try and play a little blackjack in each of Caesar’s properties.

Cassandra was ready a little after 4 so we all met downstairs, Veronica, Peggy, Cassandra and me and we walked over to the LINQ to start there but they only had a few Blackjack tables open and all were full so we went to Oshae’s casino and all their tables were closed so we were striking out. we walked next door to Harrah’s ad found a blackjack table we could all sit at, a $25 table but we had agreed to play as a team. We all bought in with $300, bet $25 per hand and at the end put it all together and split it 3 ways, Peggy is not a blackjack player. Well we played for about 40 minutes and in the end, we had $880 split 3 ways so we only lost less than $7 each. We walked over to Flamingo and found a table and did the same thing and again played about 40 minutes and stopped to go get dinner and this time we had $940 so we each won about $13 so we were ahead.

We went to Carlos’n Charlies and got dinner; it is a Mexican food place but I had a cheeseburger. Now at the table next to us was a group of 5 woman and 2 men and they were having a blast, drinking frozen drinks of some kind that were in a glass that was a few feet tall and cheering each other on to see who could drink it the fastest and they were having a blast, well soon they had talked Cassandra into racing one of them so we all cheered and took pictures. One of the men wanted a picture with Cassandra and of course I had to get a picture with all of them. We had a blast. Another of our girls showed as we were finishing so we headed back to the Blackjack tables with 4 of us each buying in for $300 and played teams. We played about 30 minutes till the table turned cold and left with a little over $1300 so we each won about $26. By now Jessie had shown up so we all walked over to the Cromwell casino and found a blackjack table we could all play at but this time we just played for ourselves instead of as a team. We actually played here for a while as we were all doing well. Cassandra talked Jessie into playing, it was a $15 table so she gave her $15 to bet and if she won, she gave Cassandra her money back and could keep the rest and play. She played maybe 30 minutes and walked away with over $100 so she was happy.

We walked back over t the Flamingo and played some more there and every time we bought in with $300 cash as we wanted them to record us buying in with cash. I won a little money ate each place which was nice as the first 2 days I was here I lost $500 and I need to win it back. We played cashed in our chips and then bought back in to boost our player status. Cassandra wasn’t to play n the high limit area so about 11pm I walked back over to Caesars. They had some of the tables upfront open and did have a couple $15 tables so I sat down at the one on the end. There were 4 other people playing including the young man next to me who was probably ear 20’s and had 3 of his friends behind him cheering him on. He was betting anywhere from $15 to as high as $100 when his friends would get him to bet big. Now I could tell this was their first time playing as they were making a lot of mistakes. But he was also getting 10’s an 11’s. Well his friends talked him into betting ½ which was almost $100 and he got an 11 and the dealer had a 6 so I finally told him he could double down and he asked me what that was so I explained it to him and he put the rest of his money in and the dealer went bust and he won and they all thanked me. The very next hand he got a pair of 8’s against a dealer 5 so I told him to split and he got another 8 and split again. Well he ended up with an 18, 21 that he doubled on, and a 155 and the dealer went bust. As I said he was getting really good hands an after about 10 hands he had over $1,000 and he cashed out and thanked me for the help. I also won but only $135. Well I cashed out and went to see if Cassandra had come back yet and I found her at a $50 table and she was up I think as she had a pole of chips Infront of her but I don’t know what she bought in for so I stood and talked with her as she played.

Well I got thinking and this is my last night here and I did win back most of what I lost so o decided to play at the $50 table. Remember I look for the lowest tables as I play for fun and really don’t expect to win a lot and hopefully loose to much. Well I started off with a couple wins and just kept slowly going up. I played maybe 45 minutes to am hour till Cassandra said she was going to quit while she was ahead and she cashed in so I did to. My $300 buy in was $575. Well next thing I know Cassandra is betting again so I stood and watched her ply and lose the $800 she was up and pull more money out and keep playing. She got back up to where she had over $1400 but again I don’t know what she started with or how much she put in but it was 12:30am now and I needed to go to bed as I have to be up early to get ready as Susan and then pack all my stuff up and be to the airport by 11:30 as my flight home is at 1:45 and I want at least 2 hours as I am flying home as Susan, yes my first time flying as Susan. I am really looking forward to this.

I went and cashed in all my chips, I had bought in $300 at the $15 table and $300 at the $50 table and when I cashed in, I had $957 in chips so I did well tonight and I should be positive for the trip. I won’t know till I add up the things I paid cash for but o m thinking I won about $100 which is good after being down $500. Yes, I keep track of my money, always have and always will as I think that is important if you gamble.

I got up to my room and it turns out they didn’t clean my room today and that is the second day in a row so I was a little unhappy but I sis have one bath towel left and a washcloth so I will be fine. I did pack up some of my stuff before bed leaving out just the clothes I would wear tomorrow and my makeup so it should be quick in the morning. I washed off my makeup the best I could and went to bed. It has been a fun and fast week.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 14, 2021 Posted by | friends, Las Vegas, Out and about as Susan | , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday May 12th and my second day as Susan in Las Vegas

Well it is Wednesday May 12th and my second full day as Susan in Las Vegas. I got up at 7:30 and opened my curtain and looked our and it looks beautiful outside, it is supposed to be in the mid 90’s which is hot for me. I love the 75 to 80 degrees and as it gets hotter than that Susan tends to melt a little but I will take it over the cold and rain of the winter.

I started getting ready and I really di love these types of vacations living as Susan as it feels complete, now I am not talking about transitioning. I am talking about Susan having her chance to be full and complete. My male side gets time all the time to express himself completely for several days in a row and Susan seems just like a distraction but she really is more than that she is a big if not biggest part of me. To give her a few days r a week to be fully out really makes me feal complete.

Now I took my time and did a dark smokey eye look and yes bright red lipstick which I normally wouldn’t do during the day but with having to wear masks no one really sees my lips. Now our plans for today was a little shopping, Veronica’s daughter is getting married on Saturday so she will fly out on Friday to go to the wedding and fly back to Lad Vegas on Sunday but she wants a new dress for the wedding. Peggy was going to meet me in my room a little after 10 and then we would meet Veronica at 10:30 and g shopping. Now my normal routine is to do my makeup, then get dressed, and then finally jewelry and hair, I have done it this way for many years. It was almost 10 and I was still working on my makeup but I stopped and got dressed because Peggy could be here any time now and it was a good thing as it wasn’t long after I started back on my makeup when Peggy knocked on my door so I let her in. of course I didn’t have my hair on yet. I finished my lips and got my wig and we talked for a little bit till it was time to go meet Veronica. Now as we were leaving and walking through the casino, I realized I had forgotten mascara as I do that right before I do my lipstick. Now with the dark smokey eye makeup I am sure my lashes won’t be that noticeable but I knew and through the day I kept thinking about it as Susan was not complete.

We went to the fashion mall right on the Las Vegas strip and started at Dillard’s. Now our plan was to get her a few dresses to try on and as she did that Peggy and I would look for more dresses for her and bring them to her. we also had Macy’s and Nordstrom’s we can look at and so we started. We walked around the dress section and Peggy was a big help as she had a good idea what would look good or bad even before she tried it on. We found a couple dresses and Veronica went off to try them on while Peggy and I looked for more. Now I don’t know all the names of the styles I just know what I like. Well the first dress she tried which was really cute fir her perfectly and the waist kind of flared a little and the length was to just below her knees but also was a little longer on the 4 corners, yes, I know dresses don’t have corners but that was the best way I could describe it. she looked beautiful and Peggy agreed and Veronica loved the color and fit so we actually found a dress pretty quick.

We did walk down the mall and went to Macy’s to look at shoes and jewelry. Now we didn’t find any shoes but did find some jewelry. We left here and did stop at a DSW to look and again. We found a lot of cute shoes but nothing in Veronica’s size, Peggy did find a couple pairs she bought. Now it was back to the hotel. Veronica and Peggy took their stuff up to their room and I went to mine as it was way more important for me as I needed to put mascara on as it has bothered me all day. I texted Cassandra to see where she was and she was at Margaritaville with another of out girls and 2 of her friends Jessie and her partner Laura. They were on their way home from Hawaii and flew in to spend a few days with her. now I have met Jessie as she used to work at the Escape. Well Peggy and I walked over and joined them on the upper outside patio overlooking the Las Vegas Strip. Now it was about 96 degrees out but at least our table had an umbrella so we were mostly in the shade but we had a great view of the strip. We sat here with them for about 1 ½ hours just talking but the sun got down to where the umbrella wasn’t helpful anymore and we started to get hot and they were going to close the patio as we were the only ones up here so we called it for the day. Peggy Cassandra and I walked back to Caesars to meet Veronica for dinner at Gordon Ramsey pub and grill.

We were able to get in about 6:15 and were seated. Now this is a high-end restaurant. Now our waiter came over and took our drink order and addressed us as sir (Peggy was in the bathroom at this point) which kind of surprised me. I told him I would start off with water till my meal and Veronica and Cassandra ordered drinks. Peggy came back and we talked for a little while. Our waiter came back to get our food order and again addressed us as sir. Now he took our order and never asked Peggy if she would like a drink or me for that matter and I was fine with water but it was the fact he didn’t even check. As a matter of fact as Cassandra was trying to order what sides she wanted on her pub burger he was kind of walking away and Cassandra had to call him back to make sure her order was correct. The food was really good which I knew it would be as we have eaten here before but we were all unhappy with our waiter and the service he gave us and he continued to address us as sir every time he came over. We noted this in the tip we left as we all tend to tip well, 25% or more nut I think we all left 10% tonight and we even thought about not leaving a tip at all. Yes, the food was great but we were all unhappy with the way we were treated.

We went out into the casino and Veronica, Cassandra and I went to find a blackjack table, Peggy went up to the room as she is not a big gambler. We found a table ($25) that we could all sit at. I bought in with $300 which sounds like a lot but it really is only 12 hand at $25 a hand plus the more you buy in with helps your player card as they always record what you buy in for but don’t always get extra money you cash in. always buy in with the most you want to gamble you don’t have to spend it all but you get credit for it.

Now as you know the last 2 nights were not good for me, I lost $200 on Monday night and $300 last night so I was going to be a little more careful tonight. Now as we played what I would do is every other and I won I would put that in my purse and this was for 2 reasons, one I wanted to make sure I didn’t lose the whole $300 but also, I didn’t want them to know how much of my $300 I left with. We played about an hour and Cassandra called it a night as she had lost a lot but managed to get back to where she was only $100 down. Veronica and I kept playing. Now sometimes my chops got low and I stopped putting in my purse to build it back up but as soon as I could I started putting chips back in my purse. I played about 2 hours till I lost the last of my chips on the table so I called it a night and left veronica at the table as she still had chips.

O walked over to the cashier and there was a long line, about 20 people so it was slow but the lady behind me started talking with me which was nice. We just chatted about the hotel, casino and food and how we liked Las Vegas, she comes here several times a year with her friends it was really nice just chatting with her as we moved up in the line. Finally it was my turn and I pulled out my chips hoping I didn’t lose too much and to my surprise I cashed out $425 so I actually won some of my money back. It was after 11 when I headed up to my room for the night. It was a fun day and if you noticed forgot to get pictures today. I have 1 more day in Las Vegas as Susan and then my big day as I fly home as Susan on Friday.

Stay safe and be happy and don’t let others make you feel bad about yourself. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 13, 2021 Posted by | friends, Las Vegas, shopping | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tuesday May 11th and a full day of Susan in Las Vegas

Well it is Tuesday and yes, I am back in Las Vegas after 2 years. Cassandra, Peggy and I drove down Monday and didn’t get in till about 7:30pm so buy the time we checked in and got to our rooms and things put away it was to late to dress. By the way

this is the first time I have done the trip to Las Vegas as my male self in over 10 years. Now we are staying at Caesars and I got an upgrade on my room and they lowered my price, originally when I booked my 4 nights at Caesars with resort fees, taxes and everything it was supposed to be $385, now my total bill is $224 and my room is beautiful, comes with a beautiful shower jacuzzi tub, a little vanity with a lighted magnifying mirror and a large room, pictures are at the bottom of my blog if you want to see it. well enough about tat and on to Tuesday.

We had a 10:30 am tee time for golf, Cassandra, Veronica, me and another one of our group were golfing at Desert Pines Golf club, now I was looking forward to it but also a little worried for 2 reasons, first it is going to be in the low 90’s today so it will be hot. The second reason as I have not been to Las Vegas in over 2 years, I have also not gone golfing since the last Diva Las Vegas. Now we were meeting at 9:30 to leave for the golf course and I needed 2 hours to get ready yes, I will be doing a full makeup for the day so I got up at 7am to get ready. I did a purple eye shadow and a red lipstick and there was another reason for this as this is the look I plan to do on Friday when I fly home as Susan.

I was all ready by a little after 9 so I went up to Cassandra’s room to see if she was ready. Now Veronica and I are only a few rooms apart my room 613, veronica’s room 618 and Cassandra & Peggy are in 944 and they have almost a sweet, their main room is a little bigger than mine but they have 2 bathrooms so they both can be getting ready at the same time.

We got to the golf course a little before 10 so I got a hot dog and a couple Gatorade’s. now it was time to tee off and it was as bad as I thought it would be. None of us had good shots. There was a husband and wife right behind us so we let them go a head of us right from the start as with just 2 of them they

would go faster and there was no one right behind them and they thanked us. Now I am an okay golfer at least I think so, I usually shoot between 95 & 100 on 8 holes so that is my goal. Now Veronica is still new to the game so she struggles but is getting better. Cassandra and the other girl are really good and they are the 2 who are always 1st and 2nd. We all struggled in the front 9 but we had fun and we looked fabulous and at the mid-way point I was in 2nd place with a 53 which shows how bad we were doing but I was ahead of Cassandra.

We started the back 9 and it was really hot out now. On the first par 3 a man caught up with us and he was playing by himself se we let him play through and he almost got a hole in 1 his shot was 3 inched from the cup. Now my goal was to do better on the back 9 so I slowed down my back swing and worked more on hitting the ball straight then far as I know Cassandra and the other girls can out drive me. Well this worked and I did do better a lot better as I shot a 44 on the back 9 and finished with a 97 right in the middle of my normal range. More than that I only lost 4, hot them into the water which there was a lot on this course and so I got a 1 stroke penalty for each but the good thing is on everyone of them my next shot was really good so they really didn’t affect me that much. Now I do have 2 things I found funny, as I said Cassandra is really good but she had a bad day and actually lost 13 golf balls which for her is bad, she maybe loses 1 or 2 at most. She also had one drive off the tee which hit a 2-foot-high wooden post about 25 yards off the tee and the ball bounced back about 10 yards behind the tee so she lost ground. I have seen this in movies but never on real life but yes this can happen.

We finished our round of golf and went into the club house to get some food. The course we played today for non-residents was $109 but because they felt 6 of the greens were not up to their standards due to some maintenance, they did last week they gave us each a $40 credit to use so we all got some food. Now the couple we let go by us on the first tee was also getting food and they asked us how we did and talked with us some and yes always referred to us as ladies, actually everyone here treated us awesome and never miss gendered us once. It was so awesome. We added up the score and I tied for first with the other girl and beat Cassandra so my day was great.

It was about 5 when we got back to Caesars and we were all hot and sweaty but our makeup still looked pretty good but we did need to clean up so we all headed to our rooms. Now I did remove my foundation being as careful as I could not to mess up my eye makeup and took a shower and then washed my face again and did a good job as my eye makeup would just need a little touch up after I redid my foundation, contour, and lipstick and yes I put on my fake nails as I was unable to get my acrylic nails for this trip and I wore a skirt tonight but no heels as it is such a far walk every place we go. We see a lot of girls in dresses hear but few where heels as there is a lot or walking. I was all ready by and Cassandra texted me Peggy and she were going for dinner at 7:30 if I wanted to go, they were going to a restaurant named Ichabod’s so I told them I would go, actually Veronica and the other girls was also going so we were going to meet by the cashier cage at 7 so I went down and walked around the casino to learn my way around as Caesars is a huge place.

At 7 I met Cassandra, Peggy and Veronica and we were off on the long walk to the car. Cassandra sis wear a dress and heal but only 2″ heels. It took about 15 minutes to get to Ichabod’s which is a small restaurant in a shopping center. We had a table reserved. The other girl met us a few minutes later and we ordered drinks and food, Peggy and I split a dinner Chicken Parmesan as I have eaten more today than I really needed. The staff here was wonderful and treated us great and prices were good, probably $15 to $25 depending on what you want. I would highly recommend them if you come to Las Vegas, they are about 4 miles off the strip on Flamingo.

We got back to Caesars a little before 10 and yes Cassandra was complaining about the heels she wore tonight and just a few years ago she would walk around down here in 3″ to 4″ heels, time has changed. Peggy called it a night and went up to the room and Veronica and the other girls went to the Flamingo so Cassandra and I walked to the tables to play a little Blackjack.

We found a table and yes, they are $25 a hand which is more then I like to play as I really play for fun. We played for about 45 minutes to an hour and in the end, I lost $300, if this had been a $5 table my losses would have only been $60 so I need to see if I can find a cheaper table. I actually did well except for doubling down. I doubled down in 10 or 11, 9 times and lost all but 1 of them so that was the end for me as I limit my losses in hopes when I win, I can make them up. I think Cassandra only lost $100 tonight. We did have fun though. Now it was up to our rooms and that is the end of my first Day as Susan in Las Vegas.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 12, 2021 Posted by | friends, Las Vegas, Susan Time | , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night zoom meeting.

Well it is Wednesday and again I get to spend time with my friends on a video chat. Now I wasn’t able to a meeting Monday as I had family in town and last Saturday, I had things I had to do so it has bee a week between my Susan time. Yes, it is hard when I have to go a week between expressing this side of me yet 15 years ago it was maybe once every 3 months, I would get time to be Susan, I really have come a long way over the last 10 to 15 years.

I got home and took my time getting ready as I wanted to enjoy it to make up for missing Saturday and Monday. I was already a little after 6 and got a few pictures and called and talked with my mom. It was just before 7 when I started our meeting. Now tonight being the first Wednesday of the month we invite the wives / girlfriends / significant others to join and have a breakout room for them to talk between themselves.

Tonight we had 12 in all including 3 wives and 1 guest, Mary, Mary Ann, Lorna, Jennifer, Nicole, Maille, Danika, Danielle, Antonia, Tori, Driel and me. We started off just talking and catching up for a while. It was nice to have the wives joining us briefly. It was about 7:15 when I moved the wives into their own room to talk in private. Now the rest of us just talked for a while, now as I said we had a guest tonight, Jennifer’s daughter in-law. Jennifer asked if we would mind her joining in tonight and you all know what we said. Jennifer came out to her family last summer and some of them have seen pictures including her daughter in-law but they have not met her yet at least till tonight.

Her daughter in-law logged in and she was so awesome. She treated us all wonderful and told us all how nice we looked. She told us a little about her and she fit in so wonderful with our group. She spent about 20 minutes with us before I moved her in with the wives, it was sad to see her leave. Well the rest of us talked for a while. It was about 8 when it was time for Jennifer’s question of the week.

Tonight’s question, where did we or do we hide our feminine stuff and did someone ever find them. It was interesting to hear what the other girls did and it is amazing how creative we were. Some hid them in their work shops, back in the closets, and yes even under the house in the crawl space. Now for me when I bought my house, I actually had a friend who moved in as he had just gone through a divorce and needed a place to stay so I got creative. I bought 4 2-drawer file cabinets, o told my roommate that 2 of them were my parents as they lived in a condo and I said they just didn’t have room for them. Any way 1 had my wigs and purse, 1 had shoes and my under clothes, 1 had my clothes and the last had my makeup and they all had locks. I used them for years. I still have them although 2 have my financial records in them now and the other 2 our my junk drawers. Now days I have way too much stuff so they are just in my closets. My walk-in closet is about 70% Susan. Now as I said I had my brother in town for a couple days and yes, he stayed with me. Now on Tuesday I had to work so I left for work and my brother was still at my house till he went to see my mom. I did close my bedroom door but I really have no way to know if he looked through my house, if he did, he probably found things as they really are not hidden. He has done this a few times when he visits my mom and has never said anything.

We talk a little about next week as I will be in Las Vegas and unable to host the meeting so I am hoping one of the other girls can do it. Well it was about 8:45 and girls started signing off and soon it was just Danika and me and yes, all 3 wives were still in their room so they went longer them most of our regular girls. Danika and I talked till a little after 9 before we called it a night.

Now my next chance to be Susan will be in Las Vegas Monday night as I have some stuff to do this weekend to get ready for my trip including packing and washing my wigs. My plan is to spend Sunday, Mother’s Day with my mom. I usually have her back to her place by 7 so all my stuff will be packed. I will swing by my house and load my stuff in my car and drive to Cassandra’s and spend the night there. Our plan is to leave about 2am or 3am and drive to Las Vegas and hopefully get there between 5pm and 6pm. I am really looking forward to it as I have not been to Lad Vegas for over 2 years. It is a short trip so no acrylic nails this time and I will travel down as my male self but will fly home on Friday as Susan which will be a first.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 8, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , | 1 Comment

Zoom meeting on the last Wednesday of April

It is the last Wednesday of April and I once again get to enjoy time with my friends online. I got and started getting ready and yes, I took my time. I was ready by 6 and had time to call and talk to my mom and get some pictures before starting the meeting.

IK started the meeting at 7 and ladies were waiting. Tonight we have 10 Jennifer, Nicole, Julie., Melissa, Danielle, Dawnie, Jane, Jeanie, Marci and me. It was great to talk with them and catch up. We have been doing these weekly meetings now for over a year and they have really helped our group stay together and actually grow. We are all looking forward to going out again although Portland area has been shut down again at least for a few weeks. Yes, the last 14 months has been hard. Well we talked more and had a great time.

It was a little after 8 and it was time for Jennifer’s question, tonight’s question Was about our nails, what we do and how we feel about them. Now it was interesting to hear the other girls and how they feel and yes most of us love pretty nails as you all know I love pretty nails. Now it was my turn.

For me I love pretty nails and yes having pretty nails al the time would be a dream come true and the one part of Susan I would do all the time. now I started painting my toenails on a tegular basis back in the summer of 2005 and yes, my toes have had polish on them, a red or pinkish color pretty much every day, there may have been 20 or 30 days over the last 16 years where I did not have polish on my toes. I really believe toes look so much better with polish. During the summer when you see a lot of people wearing sandals and the toes just look bad. Now I have never been one to go bare foot and really no one sees them although last year I did wear sandals as my male self during the summer and I did get a few looks but no one ever said anything and yes, this year I plan on doing the same. Besides I love getting pedicures.

Now as for my fingers, yes, my nails are a little long especial for a male and I do tend to wear a clear coat of polish, (OPI nail envy) on them. Now I also have weak nails so that makes it hard to keep them longer and nice looking. Now as Susan I really love pretty nails and Melissa was the one really explained it well and I have to agree with her. pretty nails are very visible and what I mean by that is I can see it. I love doing my makeup but unless I am looking in the mirror, I cannot see it, I know I am wearing it though, same goes for clothes hair and all that goes with it. Now when I am out as Susan, she has become so much a part of myself that a lot of times I forget how I am dressed and presenting but my fingers are always in front of me. Driving my car, typing on my computer, eating my hands are always visible. Now some say this helps with gender dysphoria and I agree. Now I really do believe gender dysphoria does affect most transgender people but in some is stronger. Now I don’t have the need or desire to change my body or have surgery or go full time but I do have a need to be able to express this side of myself and if I can’t I do get depressed and it does affect me. That brings me back to pretty nails as they are so visual and something you can see and that helps a lot.

Well we talked a little longer and it was about 9 when girls started signing off and by about 9:15 I closed the meeting down for the night. now this weekend I won’t be able to have tome to be Susan and b=next week I have family coming is so I will only have 1 day hopefully to be Susan. plus I am only a couple weeks from my Vacation and that will be a few days in Las Vegas as Susan which I am really looking forward to.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

I just notice I had not finished this blog or posted it from 1 ½ weeks ago, sorry it is late.


May 7, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , | Leave a comment


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