Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday night at Easy Street

Well another Friday night out and I was so ready for it. My work has me really busy right now so it is harder for me to find Susan time. I was unable to get out this last week and I really missed my quiet evening at Starbuck’s. the next two weeks will really be off as of covering vacations even my days will change but on a bright note I have Monday off this week and think I will go shopping as I need some more makeup and maybe a cute new skirt for summer.

Well as I said I was out again and we all tried a new place called Easy Street Saloon (6618 SE Powell Blvd Portland Oregon 97206). After having the little issue at the Candlelight we started to think. Don’t get me wrong we have the right to go and be any place but we also realized that a huge group (sometimes 20 or 25) all going to one place on a regular basis does kind of take over a place and my look like we are just moving in and pushing the others out which is not what we want. We want to be part of the regular group and help bridge the gap. After all if we just take over the place then it is no different than CC Slaughter’s and Embers. The last thing we want is to chase people away as that could cause resentment.

So over the last few weeks we have been coming up with different places we could go, some of the girls Cassandra, Cristine have talked and checked out some of them to see what they thought of us dropping in, Thanks girls for the leg work. So Friday night we picked Easy Street as our first new place. It is a new place and just starting out so they are trying to build business which is good for us. It is more of what I would call a neighborhood bar as they really don’t have a lot of parking which if they are successful could be a problem but other than that it is a really nice place. They do have a band that comes in (I think on weekends only) but two of the band members were sick so there was no band Friday. The staff was just awesome, two very cute and friendly girls and they would come around and see how we were and if we needed anything, great service. The inside is very clean (still new); they have video games and a pool table. Just a really nice place. I would highly recommend you check them out if you are in the area or just looking for a nice place to go it is worth the drive. One last thing prices are really good also, probably better than most places I have been to.

We had a pretty big group as I lost count but would guess 15 or maybe a little more. The customers that were there either didn’t seem to mind us or just didn’t care. We had a really nice evening, some played pool and the rest of us just talked. Later in the evening The Bar tender (Debbie, Hope I got her name right) brought out a blue tote with big wood blocks in it. It was a huge jenga game which I have not played for many years. We all had a great time playing the game and several of the other customers came over and watched from time to time. I lost the first and last game but it was fun. Even a couple who lived in the neighborhood (Erin & Dale) joined in with us to play. They live just a couple blocks away and had been walking their dog and saw us inside so they came back. They were really awesome and had a great time with us. They told us that Easy Street had just opened under new owners and were just starting out and invited us to come back which was really nice. It was a really fun evening. I am sure we will go back but like I said maybe not every week.

Next Friday we are looking at a couple other places and probably won’t decide till later in the week, after all we only decided on East Street on Thursday. Where ever we go I will give a review but for now I would give Easy Street two thumbs up and recommended it to anyone. Well must go for now as I have to go to work later today and have things to take care of. I will post again later after my shopping on Monday. Have a great weekend all. J

July 31, 2010 Posted by | Easy Street Saloon, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at Harvey’s comedy club

Well Saturday night I made it out which was nice as I did not make it out on Friday. I went downtown to Embers and met up with a bunch of my friends. Cassandra and Kelly both got ticket to the 10 pm show at Harvey’s Comedy club. We have gone there before and had an awesome time. We spent about an hour at Embers talking and met a new t-girl (Samoan); she lives in Seattle but is thinking about moving to Portland and was in town this weekend checking things out. It was nice to get to know her and sense we had some extra tickets we invited her to go with us to Harvey’s.

We left Embers about 8:50 and walked the 6 blocks to Harvey’s. It was a nice evening to walk downtown Portland as it was still in the low 80’s with a slight breeze but very pleasant. It was so fun to have 12 of us walking down the street. When we got to Harvey’s there was a good crowd standing in line to get tickets but sense we had ours we went inside and got some tables right by the door so we would be the first ones in this way we could all sit together. While we were standing in line Cassandra got to talk to a couple sitting next to us. It just amazes me how she can just go up to anyone and strike up a conversation.

The show was really good, they had two comedians. They were both really good but I think the first was the best which seems strange as he was the opening act for the main comedian. They both performed for almost an hour each so it was really good. This is the second time I have been to Harvey’s and both times was great, if you have never been there you really should go and check them out.

We got out of the show just before midnight and walked back to Embers as we had all parked there. It was still warm out and a very enjoyable walk. By the time we got back to Embers it was late and sense I had been up sense early Saturday morning I decided to go home. Most of the girls went down to CC Slaughters. It was a really fun night and a big thanks to Cassandra and Kelly for getting the tickets. You two rock.

We are still looking for some more mainstream places to go as it is really fun to be out with the general public and interacting with them and it also help to bridge the gap between us and help us gain more acceptance.

July 25, 2010 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday 7-21-2010 @ Starbuck’s

Well I made it out to Starbuck’s this week. It seems as summer moves along I am getting busier and busier. Don’t get me wrong, Susan really likes the summer and the warm weather but along with it my male side gets way to busy. The next month will be so busy. This week I will not be able to go out Friday night with my friends (may try Saturday if I can change some things around) and next week no Starbucks as I have to work late that night. As a matter of fact I will have to work every other Wednesday for the next several weeks. Makes Susan sad but work must come first as that is how Susan pays her bills and buys her cute outfits and that means less Susan time for a while.

Well when I got to Starbucks they were really busy, probably the busiest I have seen them. All 4 tables outside were full and almost all the tables inside, I had to sit at the disabled table as it was the only one open. Shavonie must be off tonight as Jenny and another girl who I have met before but am horrible with names were working. Both are really friendly also and asked how my day was. We chatted while they made my drink. I have done my usual catching up on e-mails and now taking a break to update my blog. The one good thing about being so busy is I also have not had time to go grocery shopping so as I did two weeks ago I plan on stopping at Safeway on my way home and picking up some things I need. It will help make up for being out less.

This Friday our T-girl group will be back at Embers (for the next 3 Friday’s) to give the Candlelight a rest from us. We are doing this for a couple reasons. First sense they did ask respectfully for us to cut back I think it only fair to honor their request. This will do a couple things, one hopefully their revenue will drop so they see we are a valuable customer and hopefully show we were not the reason their revenue is down. It also shows we are respectful and really want to work with them for a solution that works for everyone. It will also be interesting to see how some of the people we have met at the Candlelight react to us being gone, some of them have been really supportive and actually look forward to us being there, who knows maybe they will say something to the owner about us being gone. But whatever happens I really think it is important that we remain calm and reasonable and come across that way. The last thing we should do is raise a big stink as that would make us look bad. The last point is the fact when we moved there it was as a group, we would have 10 to 20 t-girls there on a Friday night and that may have been a little too much too fast. I mean if it was the other way and a large group who didn’t share what we believe came to Embers every week all of a sudden we would feel the same and be uncomfortable and may even make a comment to the owner. People are protective of their territory and change never comes easy.

Well Starbucks has emptied out and now there are only a couple other people inside (more outside at the tables now) and is pretty quiet. I must finish up some work before they close so will sign off now. Hope everyone has a great rest of the week.

July 21, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday July 16 2010

Well I almost didn’t make it out on Friday night as some things came up last minute so I didn’t get home till after 8 pm and I figured it was too late but then Cassandra called me to see where I was and I started to think, I go to Starbuck’s for a couple hours and it’s worth it so why not go to the Candlelight even if I get there late so I did. It was probably the fastest Susan has ever gotten ready, 40 minutes but I did go pretty casual like I do on Wednesday night. When I got there I had to park 2 blocks away as they get busier after 9. Cassandra, Barb, Wilma, and Roxy were there.

It was so nice to be out with my friends. Cassandra and I got to talk and she told me the manager had given her his card and asked her to call her Saturday to discuss some animosity about us being there. This kind of put a damper on the evening as we were all wondering what was up we still had a great time though. Saturday Cassandra talked to the manager and the owner, seems they have had 2 complaints and the first was what we thought. Seems quite a few of the women have been complaining about us using the women’s bathroom and the owner has lost some business. He fully understands what the law says and we have the right to use the woman’s bathroom which puts him in a hard spot. He also said that they like us coming and all the staff likes us but he has asked we maybe come two Fridays a month and tone it down a little. For me I can understand this position he is in as he is trying to accommodate everyone and keep us all happy. The other complaint was that we (our group) win too much at pool. The owner and Manager thought this was funny and not an issue. I think they have been really upfront and handled this well for being in such a tough spot and feel it is reasonable. Well back to Friday night.

As I was sitting talking to Roxy I noticed a lady on the other side of the bar looking at me and then talking to her friend who would look at me. I didn’t pay much attention till I saw her walking over towards me. She came up and said I know you we have met before. The first thought in my mind was where do I know her from as she has recognized me. This is something I have always worried about and was just waiting for her to tell me. I was so relieved when she told me her name was Lori and she was the friend of Mandie and Kathy and I met her at their Christmas party as she helped them put it together. I felt so relieved, I know at some point I am going to run into someone I know as my male self especially as I go out more to mainstream places like Starbuck, the Candlelight and shopping. I am just not sure how I will handle it when it does happen. We talked for a few minutes and then she went back to her friend. When Cassandra finally lost at pool I told her about Lori being there and we went over so Cassandra could talk to her.

The rest of the night was fun and we all had a good time. Everyone we talked to seemed to totally support us being there but I realize we did not talk to everyone and I am sure the people that do have an issue with us are the ones we never get a chance to talk to as they don’t come over by us. One last note I think what is really great about us being there is the fact we have expanded our comfort level and helped to get some of the girls to experience really being out in public, kind of opening up that closet door so many hide behind. Don’t get me wrong, Embers and CC Slaughters are nice but they are also a safe place kind of like playing in the shallow end of a pool. You are in the water but till you wade out to deeper water you really don’t learn to swim and expand your horizon. I really hope that no matter what happens we as a group will keep going to new and more mainstream places because this is the only way we will gain true acceptance and help educate others about us and hopefully someday we will be accepted everywhere as equals.

July 17, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hot Friday at Candlelight

Well I made it out again Friday night to the Candlelight. I was running late as traffic getting home from work was horrible and put me behind, Susan takes a little more work to get ready to go out. I felt rushed which took a little of the fun away from getting ready but that’s okay as I was looking forward to seeing my friends. It was a little before 8 when I finally got to the Candlelight and Cassandra and Wilma were already there. It was so nice to see Wilma as I think the last time was about a year ago. She is very nice and we had a good chance to talk for a while.

Rachel showed up to have a girls night out with us which was so fun as she is really exception and supportive and so much fun to be around. We all sat and talked and just had a really pleasant time. Cristine, Amy and Mia also showed up. Cassandra was worried no one would be there because of the heat; it was almost 100 today which is really hard on ones makeup. We all played pool even Rachel who we really had to convince to play. I lost 2 games and won 2 games (even won against Cassandra).

The band started to play about 9:30 and by 10 they had a pretty good crowed but still the smallest I have seen their sense we have been going. I think people just didn’t want to go out in the heat as even our group was small. They had their Air conditioner working but with all the people inside it still got really hot, I felt like my makeup was sliding off my face. I don’t know how the people who were dancing did it without passing out from the heat but the dance floor was busy.

We did have our first negative experience; a couple guys (who had too much to drink) were laughing and talking about us. But their girlfriends tried to get them to calm down. My personal thought is they were upset as their girlfriend talked to us a couple times (once the one guy came over and told her to get over with him) and she just kept talking to us for a while which I think got him a little more upset and you add the alcohol he drank in and there you go. But when you look at the big picture this is such a small percentage it really is insignificant. Two jerks out of the hundreds of people we have met there it is almost laughable and not worth a second thought. I mean really you can’t expect everyone to like you weather you dress or not. Some people just won’t like you no matter what and that is their problem. I only mention it sense I have really had no problems but want everyone to know there will be times you do, just keep your head up and be true to yourself. Well enough about that.

Well we really did have a great time. Towards the end of the evening we met a GG (Heather) she came over to talk to us and told us how pretty we all were which is always nice to hear. She sat and talked to us for about 20 minutes, just really enjoyable but it was after 1 and we were all getting tired so we called it a night. It was another wonderful evening.

I am now looking forward to next Friday night as this week I have to work on Wednesday night and will not be able to go to Starbucks. Maybe I should try Tuesday or Thursday nnight. Will have to think about it.

July 10, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hot Day at Starbucks

Well we have finally got our summer as today was 95 out. Susan is enjoying the sunshine but would be nice to be a little cooler but I will take the heat over the rain any day. The drive to Starbucks was hot as it took a while to get my car cooled off as hot as it is out. I was worried my makeup would be ruined before I could get my car cooled off but as it turned out my makeup was fine. As normal I came to Starbuck’s again tonight to catch up on some work and have some Susan time. I was amazed at how busy they were but then again it is air conditioned hear so a nice place to beat the heat. Shavonie and jenny are both working and greeted me when I came in. Such a nice feeling.

Shavonie and I talked for a while as she made my drink. I really look forward to our little chats. It is all part of the experience of coming here. For these few hours I am Susan and it is so relaxing.

I still get e-mails from people who can’t understand how I can spend time as Susan and not want to be her full time. For some reason it seems a lot of people have an all or nothing attitude about this. I try to explain that I enjoy and like both sides of my life and I am just as happy in my male side. I know I could never quit being Susan and in the same way I could never quit being my male self, both are a huge part of my life. To me it is so clear and makes total sense. I guess the best way to explain would be to think of your favorite food and then imagine eating only them for the rest of your life or pick out your favorite shoes, dress or shirt and then never wearing anything else. Every one needs a little variety in their life and for me it is Susan and my male side. Both equally important and both side make me who I am. Susan has an impact on my male life the same way my male side impacts Susan. For me without both sides I would not be the person I am. I hope this helps clear up some of the questions you may have about me. again this is why I cross-dress, I know there are as many reasons as there are t-girl for why people dress and my reasons are no more or less important than anyone else’s. We are all different but also the same.

Well Friday night we will all once again meet at the Candlelight bar & grill. We have had some fun times there and everyone seems so nice and I think they are all comfortable with us now as they have gotten to know us. I have met so many nice people and feel bad as I am so bad with names. I really must try to remember them all but it is hard when you meet so many in such a short time and only see them once a week. I think the plan is to meet there early for dinner and pool before it gets so crowded. I really hope they have got their air conditioner fixed as Friday should be 96 out. Even the last few weeks when it was in the upper 60’s it was still hot inside and we would go outside to cool off. I think I will have to wear something cool and cute, maybe my white skirt and a cute top, well I have tomorrow to figure that out.

As hot as it was today I did not want to be outside so on the way home tonight I need to stop for gas and some groceries. I never try to shop during the hot part of the day as I am worried the cold stuff (milk) will not survive the time in a really hot car plus it give me an excuse to go shopping as Susan which is always fun. Well I will post again after Friday night.

July 7, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl, why men crossdress | , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday night at Embers

Well I made it out on a Saturday night which does not happen very often but as I have to work all day Sunday (July 4th) I got Saturday night off and Susan went out. I got to Embers about 7:30 which was just perfect as Teresa and Cassandra had just arrived and we met at the door at the same time. There was a girl doing a chalk drawing on the side walk out front (I think she works at Embers) and it was really good. We stood and watched for a minute before going inside. There was no body inside so we went up by the pool table and sat down. We started to play pool and I actually had a good night, I think I won 7 and lost 4 which for this girl is really good. I even won a game against a guy who plays in tournaments which was really cool, and yes I won he did not scratch on the 8 ball. I sunk 3 balls in a row and then the 8 ball to win. It was a strange night as the people who won were not the ones you would expect to win.

While playing pool an older man came over and talked to me (actually was hitting on me) and offered to buy me a drink. I was flattered as any girl would be but I am just not interested in men so I thanked him but politely declined. He was fine with that and sat and talked to Teresa and me for a while before he left. A little later David brought me a drink and told me that a man at the bar bought it for me. I looked down by the bar expecting to see the man from earlier but did not see him. A little later another man younger then I came up and started to talk to me. He was the one who had bought me the drink. Again I was really flattered but still uneasy about it. This is the first time this has happened twice in one evening. I thanked him for the drink. He also was hitting on me so as I did not want to lead him on I again thanked him but explained I was not interested. He seemed a little disappointed but I think he understood. After about 10 minutes he left.

By the time the show started they had a good crowd. I still think the Friday night show is better but it was a good show. Chiffon and Onyx, they are my two favorite Drag Queens as I think they do the best. Onyx does one song called “All That Jazz” and I just love it. She is so good at it that I really look forward to her doing it. Cristine also showed up so there were 4 of us and we all had a great time. We stayed till about 1:45 so it was a late night but so fun.

I wish you all a Happy and safe 4th of July

July 4, 2010 Posted by | CD, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday night at Candlelight

Well I made it out again to the Candlelight Friday night. It was a fun night but I want to take a moment to go back a few days as this has been a very stressful week. One of my friends in the group has been going through some really rough times. Wednesday night when I got home from Starbucks she had posted an e-mail to our group that really worried me. She is doing better but it seems everything hit her at once. I was worried she might hurt herself. She thought she was all alone and nobody cared for her. The group all e-mailed her worried about her which is one of the great things about our group we have a wonderful support network. I have e-mails her several times and she know she has friends and is loved. What I have learned is not to take your friends for granted. You need to tell them how special they are to you because you never know what the future holds. I want all my friends to know how special you all are to me. You have all helped Susan grow so much and I cannot imagine my life without any of you.

Well Friday night at the Candlelight was so fun. We got there about 7:30 and at that time it is not really busy so we had a chance to eat and talk. It didn’t take long and soon we had a huge group and were taking up both tables by the pool table. As usual about 9 people started to show up and soon the place was packed, standing room only. The group that played was really good but a little louder than last week. But what was really great was spending time with my friends. They are still having problems with their air conditioner so it was really warm inside and they kept closing the back door which made it hotter. We were all talking about next week when it will be in the upper 80’s or low 90’s. It will be so hot inside there. All the people here at the Candlelight are so nice and so far all have been really accepting of our group. The owner and staff have gone out of their way to make us feel welcome.

I hope to go out again tonight (Saturday) and meet some of the other girls at Embers. Have a great 4th of July tomorrow.

July 3, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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