Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday shopping with Cherie and then to the Escape.

Well Saturday would be fun as I was going to meet Cherie for a little shopping before going to then Escape Bar & Grill for the evening. Now the problem is with Cherie from Australia she has an international phone number so I can’t call her and she can’t call me even though we are standing next to each other so we are relying on e-mail. Now she had sent me an email that she had an appointment from 4 to 5 on se Division street but didn’t send me the address so I e-mailed her I would pick her up at 5 just send me the address. any way I got ready and still hadn’t heard from her so I left home and went to the Starbucks by the airport where I have gone before to wait for her to e-mail me.

I got there a little before 4 and got a drink and then got my computer out and went on line with my phone next on the table waiting. Now here is my blonde moment. it was about 4:45 and still no e-mail and I kept checking my phone. Any way I clicked on my e-mail on my computer to send an e-mail to a friend and here are 4 e-mails including one from Cherie she sent at 4. Turns out I had forgot to turn my data on, on my phone so that is why I hadn’t got the e-mail. I quickly replied and would pick her up and was on my way. I put the address in my GPS and got there just a few minutes after 5. I parked about a block away and e-mailed her I was there and then walked up to see if I could find her. It was about 5:15 when we finally found each other in amongst all the people.

We decided to go to Lloyd Center which was close and do some shopping. We got there and went into Sears and looked at some clothes and Cherie found a cute sweater which she bought. We walked down the mall to ULTA which is a big makeup store. We looked around for a minute or two but Cherie was looking for foundation and wanted to be color matched for the right color. I told her I used MAC and liked it so we walked down to Macy’s as they have a huge makeup area with several different counters including a MAC counter. Well this young lady who works there came over to help us and she color matched Cherie who by the way is the same color match as I am. She then offered to give Cherie a make over as it was slow and Cherie was only to happy to take advantage of the offer, after all what girl wouldn’t.

Cherie wiped off all her makeup while the beauty technician went and got all kinds of makeup. I really should have gotten her name as she was awesome. She did a complete makeover on her from start to finish including false eye lashes and explained every thing she did and why. I learned a lot just watching and I even had fun, not as much as Cherie did I am sure. I think I will have to go in and get a make over one day. I have always wanted to try false eye lashes and actually Peggy and I have talked about going to MAC and getting false eye lashes some time maybe I can talk her into going and getting the full make over. well it was amazing as she did an awesome job and Cherie looked beautiful. When we were all done Cherie did buy some MAC makeup. we were amazed as it was 8 pm now. The make over took about an hour in a half. didn’t seem like that long. Any way of course we had to get a picture so I asked a lady who 20150530_200451was there if she would take our picture and she was happy to do so. I have always wanted a picture like this. This is Cherie on the left looking beautiful with the beauty technician in the middle. What a fun time.

well as it was after 8 now we left and headed for the Escape. We got there and it was really busy by now so we had to park across the street. We had a good turn out tonight, Cassandra, Cristine, Teresa, Veronica, Julie, Laura H., Laura M., Samantha, Melissa and Mikaela in boy mode. Cherie had brought a dress to change into so she went and changed and I got a chance to talk with Julie for a while.

Victoria Sinclair showed up with a new girl tonight, it was her first time ever dressing completely and she came out with us for a little while and of course Shadow was with them. It is fun when a new girl come out as we all remember our first time and how we felt. I talked with her some to help make her feel welcome. She was actually doing really well for her first time. I remember mine I was so scared I don’t think I said more then a couple words the whole night or at least I don’t remember talking.

Cherie came back out in a really cute red and white dress. now there were 2 other birthday parties going on and they had tables reserved so we were spread out, some at the bar, some by the windows and some on the back wall. We had a lot of fun and I tried to get around and talk a little with every one. Most of the night though it was Cherie, Melissa, Julie and me at the bar talking as I knew Melissa and Cherie would be leaving tomorrow and I didn’t know when I would get to see them again. They are both really special people who I am lucky to have as friends.

Bianca and Dan finally showed up, today is Bianca’s birthday so Cassandra had gotten cup cakes to celebrate. It was also good to t=see them again as they also don’t get out much. It is amazing how many awesome friends I have here. well we all sang happy birthday to Bianca which I think made her night as we really don’t sing that well. we had a great night but as always it got late and the night had to come to an end.

Laura, Cherie and Susan (1)Well I had to get a few more pictures with Cherie as she leaves tomorrow to go to Canada for work and then back home to Australia and I am not sure when I will see here again. It is funny how good of friends we have become in such a short time. This is Laura, Cherie and me before we left. Bianca actually took these pictures andSusan & Cherie (2) they turned out so good. I love her dress it is so cute.

Well we all said our good byes and Cherie and I left as I was driving her back to where she was staying. We got a good chance to talk again which was nice as I really got to know her, she even showed me a picture of her wife. It is funny as you look at the picture to the right we kind of look like sisters. Well I dropped Cherie off and we said goodbye, it is sad as she lives so far away and I am not sure when we will see each other but we will keep in touch on Facebook.

Susan & Cherie (1)Thanks for reading

May 31, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, shopping | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night and a chance to spend time with my friends.

Well Friday again and time for Susan to go out and have some fun. This weekend will be really fun as I have 2 friends in town and they will both be out. I started getting ready early as I was really looking forward to tonight. I was on my way before 6 so I got there a little after 6. Chris was there playing pool as he gets here really early, He comes straight from work.

I got out my computer and started checking things online. It wasn’t long and Melissa showed up and Mikaela and her girlfriend showed up and also her girlfriends sister. It was great to see all of them especially Melissa who moved to Southern California a while back, She was in town for the weekend and came out to see us all. It was nice to chat with them and catch up on what is new. Well it started getting busy so I put my computer away so we had more room on the table.

Roxy, Michele and a couple other girls showed up so we had a good turnout. I ordered dinner and of course had some cheese cake for desert. Several of the people from the other group came over and talked with us for a while, one of the nice things about Sweet Home is we have good interaction with the other people here.

Cherie finally arrived she is my friend I met last December when she was in town, She lives in Australia and was on her way to do some work in Vancouver BC and stopped in Portland and found our group. Last December was her first time ever going out before and she met us at Sweet Home and the following night went to Harvey’s Comedy Club with us.  Well she is working again in Vancouver BC Starting Monday but she was able to swing through Portland on her way for the weekend so I was really glad to see her again. She remember some of the girls she met and I introduced her Cherie, Susan and Mikaela (1)to the ones she hadn’t met last time. Of course there had to be a picture. This is Cherie, Me and Mikaela.

It was so fun to talk to her and get caught up on how she is doing. She has actually gone out a coup;e times in Perth Australia and met some girls there which is great for her. I know first hand how much it helps to have others like yourself to go out with and talk to, helps us feel like we are not alone and the only one who has these feelings.

Well we all sat and talked and of course listened to Karaoke for a while. It was about 11 when Melissa, Mikaela and her girlfriend and sister left as they were going downtown to CC Slaughters to dance. some of the other girls left and soon it was just Chris, Cherie and me left from out group. Cherie wanted to go check out CC Slaughters so about 11:30 we left and drove downtown and luck would have it we found a parking spot about a block away.

We walked to CC’s and found Melissa, Mikaela and her girlfriend and sister. They were surprised to see us as I am not a dancer and as it is so busy downtown I generally don’t go there on the weekend. well we all got drinks and then yes we all went out on the dance floor. me I just moved a little in the crowd, you really couldn’t call it dancing but at least I wasn’t just standing there.

Now I had not planned on this so I had worn my 4” spiked heels which are not meant for dancing so I could really feel it on the balls of my feet. The other thing which is hard as a girl is your purse. I didn’t want to set it down but it was a challenge to keep it on my shoulder as people would brush against you and nock it off. one advantage men has is they have pockets to put stuff in. Now a couple of the people dancing had had a lot to drink and a couple fell down and one actually tried to pick up the other who fell over backwards and his feet came up and kicked a drink out of the lady next to me hand and of course it went up in the air and then down and broke on the floor. luckily all I got was a went leg and shoe. Glad I didn’t have my good new heels on.

Well Cherie and my feet were done so we went over and sat down for a while and tried to talk but it was so loud in there it was hard to hear. we sat for about 15 minutes and then decided to call it a night. the funny thing is when I stood my feet hurt way more than when I sat down. I almost took them off walking to he car.

I drove Cherie back to Victoria’s as she is staying there at her bread and breakfast. It gave us a chance to talk some more and I found out a little more about her and her family. It was about 2:30 am when I dropped her off and headed home, of course that meant I didn’t get home till about 3 AM which is the latest this girl has stayed out in a long time but it was worth it and I had such a great time. Saturday Cherie and I are going to get together a little earlier and maybe do some shopping before we go to the Escape to meet the other girls again.

Thanks for reading.

May 31, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner with friends

Well I got to go out for dinner tonight, I really hadn’t planned on going out but a couple of my friends contacted me about going out I just couldn’t pass it up. Our Wednesday night dinner tonight was at the House of Louie for Chinese and they have really good food. Now it is really nice today and will be through the weekend so I am sure my neighbors are more likely to be out. Now as I was not going to stay out late I figures I would try to get out earlier so I started getting ready about 4:30with hopes of being ready by 6. Things went right and I was actually ready by 5:45.

Now 4 of my neighbors were out talking but they were one house down the street in the opposite direction I was going so I went ahead and left hoping they wouldn’t notice from that far away. I got downtown Portland by 6:15 and parked and walked to Fox & Hound.

Cassandra was there and she was on her computer. She was online in her chat room DJing the room, She had her headphones on with the mic and was talking online. She talked me into talking for a little bit but I really didn’t know what to say so I passed it back to her pretty quick.

Cristine showed up right after I did and Julie just a little while later. Julie sat next to me and Cassandra and Cristine was behind us so all of us were on Cassandra’s Cam at the same time. It was kind of funny.

At 7 Cassandra put her computer away and the 4 of us walked over to House of Louie for dinner. Turns out we were the only 4 that showed up tonight so it was a smaller tur out than normal. It was still a fun night as we had a nice dinner and good conversation. It really is amazing how fast the time went by as before we knew it, it was 9 pm.

We walked back over to CC Slaughters, Cassandra, Cristine and Julie all went in but I decided to skip it and head home as I knew if I went in I would stay for a while. It was wonderful to spend a couple hours with my friends.

Thanks for reading.

May 28, 2015 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Memorial Day weekend and out on a Saturday night

Wow it has been a couple busy weeks for my male side so not much Susan time so I was so glad I was going to get to go out tonight. It is amazing how much I miss my girl time when I can’t dress, I really do have a need to dress. Hopefully things will settle down in a couple weeks. Now as Monday is Memorial Day I wanted to wish all our Service men past, present and future and their families a big thanks for the sacrifices they have made for our country.

I started getting ready at 5 and I could feel the stress go away and a calming effect on me right away, as I said I do need to have time as Susan to keep my life in balance. I really do enjoy my time getting ready, doing my makeup and thinking about what dress and heels to wear. Now I did my makeup a little different tonight as I did my eye makeup before my foundation, I saw this in a video and wanted to give it a try. Not sure if I liked it though, it was easier to clean up any fallout from the eye shadow but a little harder to blend the foundation around my eyes. My eyes did turn out really well though.

Now it was time to choose my dress for the night and I had several ideas. As I was looking through my closet I saw my black and white dress I bought probably a year ago. I have never worn it as it is a tight dress and I wanted to lose some weight first so it would look better but as it has been a year and I still haven’t lost the weight I decided to wear it. Of course this would mean a waist cincher and padding on my hips to make it look right. It really is a cute summer time dress.

I got in my car and I was off and on my way by 6:20, I got to the Escape and there were a lot of cars there already, I got the last parking spot so I felt lucky. Cristine and Cassandra were already there, Cassandra n her computer. Cassandra loved my dress and told me how cute it was, just imagine what it would look like if I lost 20 LB’s. Well of course I had to get a picture so I had Cassandra take one. It really looked good and of course I was looking at the dress and didn’t notice I had my eyes Susan's new dressclosed or I would have gotten another picture. Now I thought about not posting it but then I realized it showed my eye makeup really well so here it is.

Now being a Holiday weekend I wasn’t sure how many girls would be out. I got out my computer and set it up on Paltalk, I actually went a head today and signed up and paid for a year. Still not sure how much I will use it but figured I would give it a year and then next year I will decide if I used it enough to renew it. it is kind of funny as Cassandra and I were both in the same chat room and you could see Cassandra behind me on my web cam and of course you could see me behind her on her web cam.

Shadow and Blair both showed up which was nice, They don’t come out much but this is the second time in the last 6 weeks or so. I got a chance to talk with them some which was nice as I got to know them better which is always nice. It is kind of hard to really get to know each other as we are all still cautious on how much information we give out. I consider some of these girls my best friends and yet they don’t know a lot about me.

Jan and Lynn also made it out tonight which was awesome. Jan just had a birthday so it was good to see her. Dee & Cassie also made it out tonight and another girl so we had a good turnout tonight. It was a really fun night. I did have fun chatting tonight online and did get a chance to chat with Melissa for a little bit which was nice. Dee travels and only gets to Portland every so often, she brought her dg with her tonight so she was going out regular to check on him and let him out so I got to go out and see her dog, very friendly. so her we are out by the corner standing there in our dresses with her dog talking as the cars went by, have to wonder what they were thinking as they passed us.

Karaoke started and of course it got busier then but it was still a quiet night here probably because of the Holiday. It was a fun night and  stayed out till almost midnight. Now as I said I will have limited Susan time for the next couple weeks but I do plan on being out next weekend on Friday and Saturday as I have a friend Cherie who will be in town for work, She lives in Australia, It will be good to see her and get a chance to talk with her again. Maybe even go shopping next Saturday.

Thanks for reading.


May 24, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Red Dress Party 2015 what an awesome event.

Well Saturday night was the Red Dress Party and I had a chance to go. My friend Julie had 2 tickets and her girlfriend couldn’t go so she invited me, Thanks Julie. Now I was really looking forward to this as I have never been to one of these before even though Julie has gone many times. If you have never heard of the Red Dress Party it is a fundraiser and all the money is donated to Charities this year Charities is Cascade AIDS Project and Our House. Everything for this event is donated and the people who put it together and work it are all volunteers. Now Tickets are kind of expensive $75 to $150 but it includes everything, food, drink and entertainment. Now as it is all donations they hold them in vacant warehouses so it is in a different place every year.

Now I started getting ready for this at 4 pm as I really wanted to enjoy the time getting ready as it was like I was getting ready for a prom and I wanted to look as good as I could. I was driving tonight so I was going to pick Julie up a little after 7so I would need to leave my house by 6:45. it is such a wonderful feeling when I can relax and take my time getting ready. now I as I have never been to one of these before I texted Julie about heels and if we would be able to sit or would we be standing all night as I really wanted to wear my 4” heels as they are so cute, Julie texted back that there would be some sitting and she was wearing 3” heels so I went for it but I did also put my 3” wedges in the trunk just in case. I was ready and on my way by 6:40 and got to Julie’s right at 7. Julie was almost ready but took the time to show me around her beautiful house.

We left about 7:15 and there was no traffic so we got downtown Portland by 7:30, now there are no parking lots in this area so it is all street parking and we were early enough that we found a spot about a block away, wow things were going perfect. Laura was just arriving and parked right across the street from us. Now we did have VIP tickets so we got to go in at 8 so we only had a half hour to wait. Laura came over and we  talked for a while before we walked over and got in line. Now as we stood in line we got talking to the people in front of us, 3 guys and a girl and as you can imagine everyone was in a red dress. It was a little after 8 when they started letting people in. Now we had no more than walked in and I saw someone I knew and they would not be the last. Actually within the first 10 minutes we were there I saw 5 people I knew and they were not there for the party they were working it. Now 4 of them I didn’t know really well but one I did so I would be on the lookout for her all night, actually it was dark enough in here that I really didn’t think she would recognize me. Julie and I went in while Laura waited for her friend Ginny. We got some food and went back to Julie, Me, Laura & Genni at teh red dress party 2015the VIP area so we could sit down. Laura and Ginny finally caught up with us and we had to get a picture, Left to right is Julie, me, Laura and Ginny.

Now we took several pictures and this was the best group pictures of us. This is one of me sitting resting mySsuan at the red dress party 2015 feet. Now it was different tonight as I am not use to having to keep my purse with me all the time as we really didn’t have one place to sit and as I said it was somewhat dark in here and there were hundreds of people here.

Well it was time to walk around and see what was going on. We walked out to the dance floor and ran into Marla and Jamie. It has been a while since we have seen them so it was good to talk with them, now it really wasn’t easy to talk as the music was really loud. Now it was really fun to people watch here and with all the people here in red dresses I really didn’t see the same red dress twice so it is amazing how many different red dresses there are. Now I was surprised as it was about 75% men in dresses, I don’t know why I thought it would be more of an even split but this is what the Party is all about.

We walked outside to get a little fresh air and see if some of the other girls showed up as we knew w few more were coming. We ran into Little Julie and a couple others from our group so we were up to 9 of us now. I could not believe how many people were here and it was still early. As we were looking around we ran into Lilly and her wife and one of their friends, it was great to see them again so we had a pretty good showing of our group here. While we were talking to them we discovered that the other end of the warehouse also had a dance area and more people up there so Julie and I walked up to see what was going on there and ran into Kitty from our group.

Now by this time it was about 10 and being a warehouse the floor was concrete and I have been walking around in my 4” heels and the balls of my feet were killing me now. Although these are really cute heels and I love them they were not the right choice So I told Julie I was going out to the car to change shoes, I am glad I brought the other pair. I walked to where you go in and out and the lady I know was there taking tickets so I sat and waited for a little bit for her to leave as I didn’t want to risk coming face to face with her. I made it to my car and switch heels and my feet felt so much better.

I got back inside and found Julie and the others back in the VIP section, they were up on an elevated stand where we had a good view of all the people. There were red dresses as far as the eye could see. Now there were 3 ladies down talking by the bar in the VIP area that had on really cute dresses. Julie and I went down to get a drink so I had to tell them how cute their dresses were and we ended up talking for a while. Turns out they came to Portland from LA just for the party. They were so awesome Red dress party 2015 (1)and of course I had to get a picture with them. Now we were having so much fun tonight and we met so many wonderful people to talk to.

Later we walked back to the other side of the warehouse and Julie actually got me out on the dance floor for a little bit. Now I still am not that comfortable dancing but it was kind of fun and Julie helped me so I didn’t look as bad as I thought I would at least I am hoping. It really was a fun night and I really thank Julie for inviting me.

The night went by so fast and it was already 1 am. It looked like it was starting to wind down and people had left but there was still a good crowd there. I bet they had over 1,000 people here tonight a truly awesome event and all for charity. I am really thinking of going again next year.Red dress party 2015 (2)

Thanks for reading.

May 17, 2015 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Red Dress | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Manicure and Pedicure for Susan

Well I got home today and decided I was going to go get a manicure and pedicure. My toes although not looking that bad yet even though it has been 6 weeks since my last one I wanted to get it done this week. I am going to the Red Dress party this Saturday night and my toes need to look perfect and I also wanted them red for the occasion. I called Dream Nails as soon as I got home and got an appointment for 4:30 with Anna the lady I have been going to since last fall. Now Dream nails is close to where I live but that makes it more convenient as I usually can’t plan that far ahead. Now my plane was to get my nails done and then go to Starbucks for a couple hours to catch up on things and of course let my toes fully dry.

I was ready by 4:15 and looked out my window and 3 of the neighbor boys were playing basketball in the street. Now I didn’t have much time so there really wasn’t much I could do. I went and got my computer and went to the garage and put it in my trunk and got in my car. I took a deep breath and opened the garage door to go and to my surprise they were going into the house, wow how lucky. I left my house and drove to Dream nails and went in, it was only 4:20. Anna was just finishing with another lady so she had me sit down in the next chair and filled the tube with water so I could soak my feet.

She finished with the other lady and then it was my turn. Now the last time I was here I got gel polish and it was still pretty much on my nails except where they had grown out. Anna put little cotton balls with acetone on my fingers and wrapped them with aluminum foil. I have seen woman in nail salons like this and always wondered why, now I know. I sat there like that the whole time she did my pedicure. Now I love getting pedicures as they are so relaxing and my feet look so wonderful when they are done. It really is something everyone should experience and I would highly recommend Dream nails and Anna. It took her about 45 minutes for the pedicure and now I had beautiful red toes.

We moved over to the manicure table and she started on my fingers, first scraping the softened polish off and then filing them. Then came the gel polish, she told me she had the same color red I had put on my toes and I so wanted to say yes but I could never have red fingers when I was at work so I declined and went with a clear coat which again is really shiny but I have a matt polish I can put over it. It seems so strange to go get such pretty shiny nails only to cover them up but I am not that confident in my male life yet to have such pretty nails at work. Now the good part of the gel polish is it is dry in 30 seconds as they have a dryer you put your hand in. now the bad part is as they grow out they look bad, they are kind of like acrylic nails in that way. You almost need to go every 3 weeks to keep them looking good which is a little much for me. I seem to be on a 6 to 7 week rotation so I may go back to regular polish next time as it is also cheaper and as I just cover them up it kind of makes sense, well I have 6 weeks to think about it. It was a little before 6 when I was done.

I drove out to my favorite Starbucks and went in and got a warm drink and sat down to play on my computer and catch up on e-mail. They were pretty busy when I first got here but there was one table open so I took it. Starbucks really is a comfortable place to go for a couple hours and do things on your computer. It has been a good day even with the rain.

Thanks for reading.

May 12, 2015 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape

Well I have been out all day but still wanted to go to the Escape bar and grill tonight. Now the Starbucks I was at is only a couple miles away so I got to the Escape about 6:30 and was the first one there. It wasn’t long and Cristine and Cassandra showed up. Now it was a real quiet night here as a matter of fact it was just the 3 of us till 10:30 when Cassandra called it a night, now there were 4 other people in the bar too. We sat and talked and of course both Cassandra and I had our computers going. it was a relaxing and fun night.

After Cassandra left I stayed as Cristine’s ride didn’t get there till 11:30. it was about 11 when people started showing up and within a few minutes it was really busy and Karaoke was going. A few of the ladies came over and talked to us and told me how pretty my dress was which I always like hearing.

It was time to leave so I went up to pay my bill and there was a woman there that looked familiar and I could see she was looking at me. now I wasn’t to worried about it as I just figured I had seen her someplace before. well it turns out I was right as she came over and started talking to me. I use to play shuffle board with her years ago at the P-Club. She use to go there with her boyfriend but after we got kicked out she stopped going there because of what happened. She had always wondered what had happened to our group. This was really one of the sad things about this as we had made some good friends there which we lost touch with. we talked for a while and got caught up. I told her about what we have been doing and where we have been going so hopefully we will see her again.

It was a good night out.

May 10, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A meeting and a day of Susan with a little shopping.

Well I got up today at 8 am and started getting ready. I am actually going to spendlips (2) the day as Susan. The main reason is about a week ago I was contacted through my blog by a lady named Lola Wallace she has a photo web page where she does photos of people she finds fascinating and she wanted to do a photo section of me, she has been looking for someone who is transgender of a crossdresser. Now I did find the offer interesting so I agreed to meet her today at Starbuck’s downtown Portland at 10:30.

I was ready to leave by 10 and on my way downtown. Now I hadn’t thought about this being the Starbuck’s at Pioneer Courthouse Square which is right in the center of the city and not much street parking nearby. I actually ended up parking in a parking garage 3 blocks away as it was the easiest and only $5 for all day, of course I wouldn’t be downtown all day. Now driving there I could see all the people walking around downtown so I knew it would be a good day for people watching. The walk to Starbucks was relaxing. Now as I thought this Starbuck’s was really busy and I had to stand in line behind about 12 people, luckily as it is a really nice warm day everyone was getting their drinks to go and going out to the square to sit so I was able to find a table. I finally got to order and then had to stand in line to wait for my drink.

Now I will admit after the incident I had yesterday on Facebook with that one girl I was a little nervous as I really had no idea who I was meeting but Lola e-mailed me she was on her way and sent me the link to her page so I could check it out while I waited which was nice as I knew she was real. She showed up a little before 11.

We sat and talked and I learned a little about her and told her a little about me. She wanted to know what I thought of her doing a photo page of me and if I had any ideas for it which I didn’t. I mean for me a picture is just that. She had a couple ideas one of which was before and after photos which I will admit would be really cool to do but as I am still in the closet shall we say as far as people knowing about me I was not willing to do that. Her other ideas were pictures while I was out shopping or out socializing with my friends. Both have good and bad points as I love to go shopping and I am comfortable with that but then I am trying to blend in having someone there taking pictures of me while I shop would be different and draw a lot of attention to me. The other option when I am out with my friends also would be fun but then I also have to think about them also and if they would be comfortable with someone taking pictures, for this one I would have to ask them first. We talked for maybe 45 minutes and I told her I would think about it and let her know.

After she left I stayed there for a little bit updating my blog from last night and catching up on e-mails. This is a really busy place and I don’t think they ever had less than 5 people in line so it was a good spot for people watching. I was also sitting by the window so I could watch people walk by and also down in the square. It was about 12:30 pm when I left here and I walked around a little downtown window shopping, I didn’t go in any places as I had my computer bag with me and I didn’t want to be walking around a store with a bag, I don’t like to do that as it tends to cause the employees to watch you. I finally walked back to the parking garage and left. Now I really didn’t have any plans for the day but I do need to get a Mother’s Day gift, yes I put it off to the last minute as I have been real busy the last few weeks, but I know what I am getting her so really all I have to do is go pick it up.

Now I was hungry as I hadn’t eaten this morning so as I was going by Lloyd Center I saw a Burger King and decided to stop. Now this Burger King is kind of special as it was kind of my first place I let Susan be seen. Years ago when I was still working up courage to go out I would make late night drives, yes I wouldn’t even think of leaving my home before 10 pm and this is the Burger King I would stop at and go through the drive through at like midnight but I have never gone inside. I parked and went in and got lunch. They weren’t that busy though. Now after I ate I went to use the bathroom and the doors were locked with a sign customers only so I went to the counter and asked for the key, I didn’t specify which as I was curious about which one they would give me. The girl walked over and instead of a key pushed 1 of 2 button on the wall to unlock it. I walked back over wondering which one she had unlocked turns out it was the woman’s, good for Burger King.

I got on the freeway and traffic was backed up in both directions so it took me a little while to get where I was going. Cascade station by the airport as I was going to get her a new monitor for her computer, hers is old and small and they have a best buy here and I have already priced them out online. Now just like downtown the shopping center was packed and traffic was bad so I went to the far end to get in to avoid the traffic and as I went by Staples I decided to go in and see what they had. They actually had a really nice one on sale so I bought it here instead. It is funny that I was buying her gift as Susan but then again I have done a good portion of my Christmas shopping the last 2 years as Susan. Now I have a rewards card at both places so I gave the guy at the counter my phone number and he pulled up my account so I used my male credit card today for this purchase.

It was after 3 now and I didn’t want to go home yet and really I am not far from the Escape where the girls will be meeting tonight at 7 and wouldn’t you know it there is a Starbuck’s right across the parking lot from Staples which I have gone to many times, probably my second favorite Starbuck’s so I put the monitor in my trunk and grabbed my computer and walked over to Starbuck’s. Again this one was also really busy I guess the nice weather just brings people out so I had to stand in line again. Again most are getting them t go or sitting outside but still busy inside but I did find a table by the door where I could people watch.

Now I am sitting here doing my blog and also on Paltalk, Cassandra is DJ’ing one of the rooms so I am kind of keeping an eye on her. I will hang out here for a little longer as I have some e-mails I need to catch up on and a little work and then I will go to the Escape tonight. It has been a fun day so far and I still have the evening to go. Thanks for reading.

May 9, 2015 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night girls night out.

Well this week was a little less busy and I hope things will slow down now for  while so I can have more Susan time. I started getting ready early tonight so I could take my time as I really enjoy the getting ready. I was on my way by 6:15 and got to Sweethome by 6:45. Chris and Cristine were already there. We had a smaller group tonight as only a couple more girls showed up.

Now I did have a bad experience on Facebook this week, a girl friended me which is no problem. but then she started sending me messages about wanting my help and wanted to come over to my house and have me do her makeup. now we have only sent a couple of messages and there are friends I have gone out with many times over the last several years that don’t know my address or my male name so I told her I was not willing to give that information out and directed her to a business here in the Portland area that does transformations where she could go and get help. now she is sending me messages about how mean I am to her and what a phony I am. I wonder if there are people out there that would give that kind of information out to a total stranger, it really has nothing to do with being a crossdresser I just don’t think that is a good idea for anyone. Any way I am going to have to block her now.

well it was not a real busy night tonight but than it is more about being out and being with my friends. I think it is important to be able to do the normal things in life no matter if I am in male or female mode. I think this is how we learn to accept ourselves and who we are. I have thought a lot about this over the years and it really is true, Susan makes me the person I am just as much as my male side no matter how I am dressed. without her I would not be the same person I am. every part of our lives impacts us in some way and shapes the person we are. So I guess what I am saying is that if people suddenly dislike you because they find out about this side of you they never really liked you as what they liked about you was shaped by this side of you. Wow I wished I had learned this many years ago it is something a lot of transgender people struggle with.

Well back to tonight. It was fun to be out again and what a great way to start ath weekend. it is amazing how much being with friends and other people can make you feel so good. I have really made some good friends here even though they only know me as Susan. Heather was here tonight and she is always so nice, she really makes my night when I get to talk with her. Mareinna was also out tonight, she hasn’t been out as much so it was good to see her. I got a chance to talk with her for a while. she is still learning about this side of herself. I think back many years ago when I was trying to make sense of my dressing and why I liked it, it is a hard thing to figure out. She has a lot of good friend though who support her and that makes a big difference. I hope she comes out more. O did play on Paltalk some and actually had my cam going most of the night sometimes just showing the bar and the people walking by.

Karaoke started and of course Chris sang. it really is fun and I enjoy listening to the people who sing even the bad ones. now here is a funny story, one lady came by and wanted me to dance with her and I explained I didn’t dance but she was not taking no for an answer. she grabbed my hand and literal pulled me up so I did the best I could and believe me it was worse than I thought. now I did have my 4” heels so that didn’t help but I am not a good dancer and this proved it.

It was about 11:30 when I left. I am actually getting up earlier in the morning as I am going out for the day. here is another funny story. A local lady who has a photo web page and does photo essays on people saw my blog and contacted me. she is interested in doing a photo essay of me as she has been looking for someone who is transgender or a crossdresser to shoot. I am not sure about it although the idea interest me. I agreed to meet her at Starbuck’s downtown Portland at Pioneer Square at 10:30 am to talk about it. Either way I will have a girls day out tomorrow.

Thanks for reading.


May 9, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dinner out at Spaghetti Factory

It is Wednesday night and our group is going out for dinner at the Spaghetti Factory down on the South waterfront. Now we have reservations at 7 and this would normally be fine but I got off work late. I got home at 5:30 so I really had to rush which takes the fun out of dressing but sometimes a girl has to sacrifice. Well things went right and I was ready to leave at 6:15, I think that is a personal record for getting ready. Traffic was lite also so I actually made it there by 6:45. Now they were really busy so I had to park way out in the parking lot.

Now all the girls were there but they were still in the front waiting for our table to be ready. There were 9 of us for dinner tonight, Cristine, Cassandra, Jan, Lynn, 20150506_212558Jennie, Amy, Joan and Karla. Now this is a picture of us. Now this is a big restaurant right on the river, we got to sit in one of the street cars inside and there was another big group of 8 young girls at the table next to us, they were there celebrating a birthday.

Now our waitress was awesome and the food was wonderful. We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation. now as we were finishing our dinner they brought deserts to the other group and they were going to sing happy birthday to the girl having the birthday so we all joined in and sang along. I think they enjoyed it even though we are not the best singers.

Now I got a good chance to talk with Joan, Jennie and Amy as we were at the one end of the table. It was really nice to get to know them a little better. I also got to talk to Karla, she is our newest member and this was her first time out with our group. She is full time and has been for a couple years but just moved here not to long ago and found our group. She seems really nice and I look forward to getting to know her better. I hope she continues coming out with the group.

It was a really fun night and went by so fast. it was 9:30 before we new it. Now we are going to try different restaurants on Wednesdays and expand where we go as I think new places will get some of the girls out. We really do have an awesome group here in Portland and I am lucky to have found them and be a part of them.

Thanks for reading.


May 7, 2015 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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