Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Wednesday night outing

It is Wednesday and I am going to get to go out tonight for dinner with my friends. I got home and of course the most important thing was I needed a manicure. I called Dream nails and got an appointment for 5, so looking forward to this. I really love going to the nail salon. I started getting ready taking my time to enjoy it. As I got ready I had the big issue of what to wear and how to do my makeup. Normally I would wear a dress and heels to go to dinner but I am also going to the nail salon first. Well I settled on a black skirt and sweater top and my high heeled boots although I did go with the red lipstick.

I got to the nail salon just before 5 and went in. they were not busy, just 1 lady getting a pedicure. Anna was ready for me so I sat right down and she started on my nails, it is such a relaxing experience. She removed the old gel polish and got my nails ready for the for the new acrylic to fill in. She asked me if I wanted them shortened and of course I didn’t but I knew I needed to so I told her yes. It is always sad when she uses the grinder to make them shorter. She also fixed the nail I broke the corner off of and soon she was putting on the new acrylic. now she has been using a pink acrylic which gives my nails a slight pink color, it would probably be more if she put it on thicker but she does a thin layer. Now it was time for the gel polish and Anna asked if I wanted the clear again and I said no I wanted the color wedding dress which is a slight pink although with the pink acrylic is does have more of a pink color. I really do love the way my nails look with this color of course I would much rather have a bright red. Maybe in 2 weeks as I will be on vacation. Anna put the first coat on and then the second coat and yes, my nails have a slight pretty pink shade. Now I know some people have noticed but only one person has ever said anything, but a lot of the woman I work with are taking way better care of their nails and several now have pretty long acrylic nails. I guess they just don’t want a man to have better looking nails then they do. It was about 5:40 when I was all done and on my way with my pretty nails.

Now Julie had taxed me earlier and she is also going to dinner tonight so I am going to pick her up so I was on my way to her house. I got to her house a little after 6 and she was already. It was great to see her again as she had been on vacation to Australia for 3 weeks. I was looking forward to hearing all about her trip. Now there was a lot of traffic so we got downtown just before 7. We were having dinner at McMenamins tavern & pool, the group has gone here a couple times before but it will be my first time. I really like going to new places.

Melissa and Cassandra were already there. It was good to see them again. Barb also showed up so we had 5 for dinner. Now I do like the bigger group outings as it is always fun to see a lot of girls out but it is harder to talk with all and also when we are at the bars it gets loud. These Wednesday night dinners are a lot of fun as having smaller groups you can really have good conversations which all can be involved in and it is not loud so you can easily hear what is going on. It might just be to many times to bars. We ordered dinner and had a wonderful time. It really was a wonderful night out. We also talked about our Mexican cruise in October of 2018, if you have ever thought about going on a cruise be sure and check out our web page for more information.

It is amazing how fast the night went by and soon it was 9:30 which doesn’t sound that late but I get up a little after 4 am in the morning and it will be at least an hour to get home and in bed but it is so worth it to go out with my friends. Saturday most of our group will be going to Salem to go out with the girls down there, I won’t be able to make it so I will go to the Escape at least for a while for dinner and to see if anyone else stays local.

Thank for reading and be sure to keep up with what I am doing in my most recent blog.


January 18, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, Manicure & pedicure, nail salon | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday dinner at Southland Whiskey Kitchen

Wednesday is here and our group is doing its Wednesday night dinner at Southland Whiskey Kitchen. I am looking forward to this as I have been here a couple times before in 2016 and early 2017 and it is a wonderful place to go for dinner, wonderful food, fair price and wonderful atmosphere. A really nice place to go for an evening out, the only bad thing is parking is not easy, but I would highly recommend them.

I started getting ready as I wanted to get there early so I would have time to find a parking spot and be there by 7. Besides I wanted to take my time and enjoy getting ready. I was all ready by 6 and on my way, I got downtown by 6:30 and luck would have it I found a parking spot about a block away just around the corner. Now it wasn’t raining but I took my umbrella just in case because I know if I don’t have it I will need it. I got there and Cassandra and kearren were already here, turns out Cassandra got here around 5. Now we do our dinners at 7 so we sat and talked and gave time for others to show up as we had a few other girls say they would be here.

Melissa showed up a little before 7 and the 4 of us sat and talked. I do like these smaller group outings as it is easier to talk with everyone. Of course a couple of the things we talked about was Diva Las Vegas and of course our Mexican Cruise in October. Diva Las Vegas is April 15 to 20th 2018 and it is so much fun. Check out their web page and think about going. The cruise is October 13 to 20th 2018 and will be so much fun. I have never done a cruise and I am really looking forward to it including flying down and back as Susan. Now this is not a transgender cruise but we do have 29 signed up to go of which about 15 are from our group the rose city t-girls here in Portland. If you have ever thought about going on a cruise this is the one.

By 7:15 we decided to order as we figured it was just us 4 for dinner. We had a wonderful time for a few hours and a great dinner. Our waitress was awesome. We really have had wonderful people wait on us and have always been treated wonderful every place we have gone. Portland really is a wonderful place to be. After dinner we looked at the desserts menu, last time we were here Cassandra got a big warm chocolate chip cookie which I was all set to have but they don’t have it anymore, kind of a let down but the good thing was I didn’t order dessert, good for me. Well Casandra did order dessert and shared it with all of us, how nice of her, Thanks Cassandra. This worked out well as we got some dessert but didn’t eat the whole thing by ourselves.

It was a nice evening out with my friends and it was sad to see it come to an end. It was a little after 9 when we left. I really do love these outings with my friends. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to find out what is new in Susan’s Life.

January 13, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Some Sunday Susan time

It is Sunday and it turns out I have a little time today and as I need to write my blog from Saturday evening I figured why not go to Starbucks as Susan. It was a little after 2 when I started getting ready and I was at the Starbucks by my house by a little after 3 with my computer. They were a little busier today I guess Sunday afternoons are a good time to go to Starbuck. I got my drink and sat down and got out my computer to do my blog. Now as I said this was kind of a last-minute outing and not really well planned. I figured I would have a few hours here to do my blog and some work on the computer but I forgot they are now closing at 6 on Sundays. Well that still gives me 3 hours.

I got connected to the wi-fi and opened my blog and noticed that my battery was only half charged, yes, I had used it last night at the escape and then forgot to plug it in and of course I didn’t bring the power cord. Now as I said this is close to my house, I could have run home and got the cord and been back in 5 minutes but that seemed a little strange to me. I decided to just go and see how long my battery lasted. I finished my blog and I still had a little battery left so I was just goofing off on the internet, a good way to waste some time. It was just before 5 when my computer told me I had 10% and I knew it wouldn’t be long. I wasn’t even going to make it till 6, so sad as I was not ready to go home yet. I was checking my Facebook page and I saw a post from a friend who had gone and saw the new Star Wars movie and I thought to myself, I haven’t gone to the movies in a while either male or female and I wanted to see the movie, yes, I am a big Star Wars fan. I quickly checked the times and the downtown Vancouver cinema had a 5:50 showing. I didn’t want to go to late as it is almost a 3-hour movie and I do need to get up early tomorrow. It was 5:10 now and only takes about 10 minutes to get there so it was decided. I am going to the movies.

Now I like this theater as it usually is not busy and I figured being a Sunday evening that would be the case. I was in my car and on my way. I got to the theater and there were all kinds of people leaving the theater and going to the theater and lots of cars going in and out of the parking garage. I guess everyone thought today was a good day to go to the movies. I parked and walked across the street to the theater where I had to stand in line to get my ticket. It didn’t take long and soon I was inside and again I had to stand in line to get into theater 6 where the movie was playing. Now I did feel a little out of place but not for how I was dressed but because I was by myself, not many people go to the movies alone.

Soon they let us in and it was one of the bigger theaters here, I got a seat about the middle and waited for the movie to start, being a big theater, the amount of people was small but that would not last. I had hoped by waiting so long after it came out there would not be as big of a crowed. Again, I was wrong by the time the movie started I would say it was 80% full, I did have 1 empty seat either side of me, I am thinking people left it thinking I was holding them for someone. Out of all the people as I looked around there were 2 other singles in the crowd but both were men.

Now the movie itself was good not great, there were some parts where they went for laughs and it didn’t work in the plot. Probably one of my least favorite from the Star Wars series. The movie was almost 3 hours long. It was a fun night though and that is what counts.

Thanks for reading and keep up with my most recent blog.

Have a great week!

January 9, 2018 Posted by | movies, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

First Saturday of 2018 at the Escape

It is the first Saturday of 2018 and I am able to go out and meet my friends at the Escape tonight, a great way to start the new year, this is also my 1,000 blogs. I started getting ready early with the hopes of being there by 6, thing went well and I was ready to leave by 5:30, I also mixed it up and chose my long dark brown hair tonight, I was just in the mood for a change. I got to the Escape just a little before 6 and with my computer in had I went in. I always bring my computer so I can do some work as I wait for others to show up. Well Turns out Kearren was already there. It was nice as it gave us a chance to talk.

Kearren and I talked a lot about our feelings on our dressing and why we do it which I am always happy to tell people however I can only speak for myself and how I feel so in no way relate this to everyone. I always start of as it is not a sexual thing for me as so many people think that is why. Wanting to cross-dress is an expression of who you are and not who you want to have sex with. For me it is just so relaxing and calming, I get to just be myself without hiding anything and I think that is the most important thing. In my male life I always feel like I have to hide part of who I am and that can be really hard. When I am out I am not really thinking about how I am dressed or the fact I am dressed as a female and I guess the best way to explain that is when you go out are you focused on how you are dressed or on what you are doing and the people you are with. For me being out I am just being me, yes, every once in a while, I see my long hair in my face, or feel my lipstick but as for the rest of the makeup I don’t even think about it on my face as I can’t see or feel it. The other thing is it is a great way to relieve stress and any problems I am having as for a few hours I am Susan and I don’t think about work or things going on in my male side of my life. Kearren has a lot of the same feelings but she is still working through them which is hard. I have had these feelings for as long as I can remember and it took me a long time to figure out who I am and what I want in life and how Susan fits in.

Nicole also showed up tonight what a wonderful surprise. She lives up North and doesn’t get to Portland that often but it is always great when she does. Maybe one of these times we will have to try to get together and go shopping. Any way her wife and here are on vacation and she stopped here to go out with us, yes, her wife knows and is supportive. I keep hoping she will come out with Nicole sometime and meet the group. Anyway, her wife bought her a bunch of the Kiss nails we use, well I use to before I started getting my nails done. It was a trade off as I don’t have long pretty red nails when I go out but I have nice pretty nails just a little long all the time. I wrote about these nail tip in a blog a few years back. So, Nicole tried it tonight and the nails didn’t stay on, seems I left one thing out of my blog, you need clean dry nails, Nicole put them on after she had put moisturizer on so her nails were oily. If you want to use this method just before you put the nails on clean and dry them, some girls use hot water I always used a cotton ball with alcohol or polish remover. If you do this the nails will stay on. By the way Nicole loved the nails before they fell off and I think once she wears them for an evening she will always want them. It is funny as I really do love all the parts about being Susan but the long pretty nails are at the top of the list.

Cassandra showed up next also Melissa, Kate one of our new girls Victoria and her girlfriend Maria. They came to the Halloween party but I think this was here first night out in public. She also lives about an hour from Portland which makes it hard. It was nice as we had a nice sized group which is always fun although harder to talk with everyone. The bar was not really busy tonight but still a nice crowd. Karaoke started and that is fun but it also gets loud and harder to talk and that is when some of the girls start to leave. It is funny as 6 – 8 years ago we didn’t even go out till 9 or 10 and we usually closed down the bar now we go out at 6 – 7 and by 9 or 10 we are ready to call it a night. Nicole was the first to leave but she will be back in a couple weeks so that will be fun, Then Melissa and Victoria and her girlfriend left. Lorie and another girl showed up just as they were leaving, they are still our late-night girls. Some of the girls played pool and the rest of us sat and talked and listened to the Karaoke

A girl and guy came over and the girl started talking to us, well with the noise it was hard to hear her and she was hard to understand, yes Saturday night in the bar and a few drinks can do that to you but we finally figured out the guy was new in town and wanted to meet us so we invited him to sit down and he took the seat next to me. Now I talked with him for a while and he seems really nice, He moved up here from San Diego. Well it turns out he is a T-girl admirer well maybe a little more than admirer. I was suddenly aware of how I was dressed. Now tonight I wore a dress that was very nice and almost knee length and I was glad as one time I felt his hand on my leg and now I was trying to pull my dress lower. Any way he told me all about the clubs down there and well shall we say the working girls. Now I know this goes on in the Transgender community and I am probably sure some of the girls in our group play around and that is fine as I don’t judge. But as I said earlier this is not a sexual thing for me. Any way as we talked I took it upon myself to tell him about me as he thought I was fulltime and on hormones which I guess is a compliment as it means I looked good. But I told him I was not on hormones and just dressed this way a couple times a week and of course that I was not interested in men. He was fine with that although I could see he was a little disappointed. This doesn’t happen often to me and I still feel very uneasy when it does but I guess all woman deal with this at some point, just part of being a girl. But as I said while he was there talking with me I was very aware of how I was dressed. Anyway, he asked about the other girls at the table and our group and tonight was a rare night as of the girls that were here 3 were married and 5 had girlfriends, it was just Lorie and I that are single. He seemed surprised by this as he is use to the more sexual part of the Transgender community and I guess maybe we are the exception, but are group is about social aspect and getting girls to go out. Like is said I am sure this also goes on here in Portland but as our City is so accepting there really isn’t 1 club in town where all the Transgender go, we pretty much go where we want so that may b e hard for him here.

Well he talked with e and some of the other girls for about 30 minutes, seems longer before he left for the night. Now he seemed nice enough but still this is the one thing I will never get use to being Susan although I am getting better at it. I guess it is not all fun and roses being a girl. I will say so far; every time this has happened though the man understood and didn’t push it with me which is nice.

It was a fun night and it was almost 11 when I called it a night. I am hoping to make it out to Wednesday night dinner this week.

Thanks for reading, it was a little longer blog than I normally write. Be sure and keep up with my latest blog as Susan.

January 7, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | 2 Comments

Badly needed trip to the nail salon.


Happy New Year’s everyone, it is hard to believe it is already 2018, seems like we were just worried about y2k (2000). I am currently sitting in Starbucks as I write this blog #999, yes, I am almost at 1,000 blogs. Now I had planned to hit 1,000 before the end of the year but well I ended up getting sick and didn’t get out last week or over the weekend. That also meant I missed getting my nails done last week hence the reason for the trip to the salon today. Today is 3 weeks since my last time getting my nails done and yes, they are on the long side but still looked pretty good till today. I learned that although 3 weeks grow out is okay the fact I have a thin layer of acrylic on my nails they do not hold up when they get too long. Today I broke a corner off the acrylic of one nail leaving a jagged edge and broke part of the actual nail on another finger. As I looked at them closer the reason was at the tips the acrylic was lifting off the natural nail. So, I am caught between getting my nails done every 2 weeks or having thicker acrylic. now I will say that Anna left my nails a little longer last time which also may have played a part. I am learning that having nice pretty nails takes work and care.

\Any way on the way home from work I called Dream nails to see if I could get in today. Anna said sure and wanted to know if I could be there at 4:30. Now I probably could have but if I got caught in traffic I would be late so I played it safe and said 5 so I had my appointment all set. It was a good thing too as I didn’t get home till 4 and still needed to get ready as Susan, I wonder from time to time what they would think if I just showed up as my male self. Well I started getting ready right away. I was all ready by 4:50 and ready to leave. Now my new neighbor, well he has lived there for about 9 months and I have only talked with him a couple times last summer was out in the street with his 2 little kids as they road their bikes in front of their home. Any way I had a nail appointment to get to so I opened the garage door and pulled out. As I turned onto the street he was only a few feet from me and he waved to me so I waved back and was on my way. I got to the nail salon just a little before 5 and went in. They were busy as there were 3 ladies getting their nails done and 4 getting pedicures including a husband and wife and one lady waiting. It took Anna about 5 minutes to finish the lady she was working on and then it was my turn.

I sat down at the table and Anna started to grind off the old gel polish and by the second finger she noticed how bad my nails were lifting. Yes, I was going to get a whole new set which meant removing all the acrylic down to my natural nails which I have not seen since last March, well 1 or 2 nails have had to be done like this but not all of them. It took a little work to remove all the old acrylic and wow my natural nails look horrible. I guess acrylic is hard on your nails, plus they are thin and week as the hard-top layer is gone. Now even with that Anna had to file the top down more to remove all the damage so the new acrylic would adhere. Finally, the nails were prepped and it was time for the acrylic. Now I really do love getting my nails done, it is so relaxing. One by one my nails started to look pretty again and soon all 10 were covered in acrylic and looked long and pretty. Anna asked me if I wanted them shortened and I said yes and with that she ground off the ends till they were short and yes shorter than the last time. I do wish I could have them longer and red but it just won’t work for me now but in 4 weeks I am going to take a week vacation and it is time I just need to use as I have been holding on to it because of my parent health but now it is getting close to the end of my work year and I need to use it. I don’t have any plans other then it will be Susan time and I am hopeful I can get a read color for the week and maybe not shorten them, that would be so awesome. I am looking forward to the fist week of February. Anna did her usual wonderful job; all the ladies here do wonderful jobs on nails. All to soon my nails were done, Anna went with just a clear top coat which was a little disappointing after 12 weeks of that pinkish color, she first use this color back on October 15, but then I thought that was fine as my brother will be in town in a little over a week and I think clear polish will be batter for that.

I left the nail salon and I was hungry so I drove to Panda Express and went in and got something to eat and even they were busy tonight, I had to stand in line. I got my food and sat down and ate like any other customer. I saw a couple people glance over at me but nothing big and for the most part the rest really paid me no attention. Soon a was done and it was time to go to the Starbucks by my house. I got there a little after 6:30 so I would have about an hour. They were also a little busy but most were to go ordered. There were only about 6 other people sitting at tables. I got a hot chocolate and sat at my table and caught up on some e-mails and then of course wrote this blog. It still amazes me that I have wrote 999 blogs about my times going out. Now years ago, I didn’t always write about my tomes out but pretty much for the last years I have been pretty good about it, sometime I combined a couple short outings into one blog but still. This means I have been out as Susan at least 999 time, that is hard to believe as 15 years ago it took all I could do just to go out for a late-night drive. It is fun though to look back at my old blogs, what I did, where I went and with who and of course some of the old pictures. To see how I have grown as Susan and become the lady I am today and of course all my wonderful friends. I would encourage everyone to at least write down some of the major event in your life as over time things become not so clear and some day we all want to look back at least for a little look.

I stayed at Starbuck till 8 when they closed, I was getting ready to leave and the one girl told me I could stay if I wanted as they had a lot of cleanup work to do. I thanked her but I had already put my computer away. I wish I knew her name as she is so nice and always remembers me, I looked and she didn’t have a name tag on. I talked to her for a few minutes as she told me they were changing their hours on the weekend, closing earlier, 7:30 on Saturdays and 6 on Sundays, then a quick trip to the gas station before heading home. It was a fun and relaxing evening. I am not sure I will get out Friday but I plan on going out Saturday night so blog 1,000 is just around the corner. Thanks for reading and keeping up on my life as Susan. Be sure and keep up on my latest outings on my most recent blog.

Have a safe and Happy New Year.

January 4, 2018 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon | Leave a comment


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