Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Dinner out with friends

Well this week instead of going to Starbuck’s I decided to join my friends at Fox & hound for dinner. I was all ready to leave and wouldn’t you know it my neighbors across the street decided it was a good time to wash their cars. What bad timing. So there I sat in my car in the garage waiting and finally they bent down to wash the lower part of the car and out I went. I am not sure if they looked up and saw me or not but I was on my way and that was all that mattered.

I got downtown by 7:30 and there was already a good group there. Chris, Roxy, Cassandra, Amy, Michelle, Cristine and Alizabeth were already there. It was nice to see so many out so early. It was nice to get a chance to enjoy dinner and nice conversation with friends. They actually have really good food at Fox & Hound.

We talked about what we were going to do Friday night. Seems Scotty one of the bar tenders recommended a bar on Sandy, actually he knows the bar manager and he told her about our group and she extended an invitation for our group to come there so that is our plan this Friday night. It will be fun to go to another new place for the night. Julie, Jan and Lynn also showed up. We also talked about next Friday. We are meeting at 3 pm as Our Attorney wants to meet with us and update us on what is going on and things we can do. It will be tough for me to get there that early but I am going to do my best.

After we ate we walked over to CC Slaughters. The girls like to go her as they have drink specials on Wednesday night and of course a pool table. I got a chance to talk with Roxy; she is still looking for a place to work but is doing nails for Victoria Sinclair. She actually did her own nails and they looked really good. She did gel nails so we talked about them. I have done acrylics many times but never the gel ones. Maybe someday I will try them.

I also got a chance to talk with Amy and Julie. It was nice to get to Know Julie better. Turns out she lives in Vancouver too and not that far from the Starbuck’s I go to. It was a really fun night and of course went by way to fast and soon it was time for me to leave. I actually stayed out to almost 10 which for a week night are late for this girl. Amy also had to leave so we walked out together. It was a really fun night and I must try to do this more.

Thanks for reading.

August 30, 2012 Posted by | Fox & Hound | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Good group of friends Friday night

Well it is Friday night and time to spend with my friends. I so look forward to this time all week as Friends are so important and I am blessed with so many. Well when I got home tonight I knew it was going to be a challenge getting out. you see the county was redoing my street and I thought they would just slap some tar and gravel down and be done with it but no they actually did a great job by putting down some kind of overcoat that really looks great and will last a lot longer which I am happy with but this was a bad day for it as they closed off the whole street and posted they would not open till 6 pm which meant when I got home I had to park on the next block and walk past 11 of my neighbors houses to get to mine and I can assure you as comfortable as I am as Susan I am not walking that far to get back to my car as Susan.

Well I gambled they would open the street as they said and went ahead and took my shower and got as ready as I could. It was just a couple minutes after 6 when they did open the street so I went and got my car and drove home to my garage but by this time it was already 6:15 and I still had to do all my makeup, get dressed and nails and wig so again a rush to get ready. it was just a little after 7 when I was ready to go and of course my neighbors across the street were out working in there yard plus I did not know if any of my other neighbors down the street were out maybe getting their cars. Well I got in my car and opened the garage door and watched my neighbors till they turned their backs towards my house and thought this was my chance and out I went. I never looked towards them just focused on where I was going so not sure if they turned around and saw me leave. If they did I am sure they will have questions as it was very bright sunny day and I had on my blonde wig and of course red lipstick which would stand out. It will be interesting the next time I run into them.

The group was meeting at Sweethome the same place we went last week, next week we are going to try a different place. I got there and there was no parking so I was two blocks away which made for a little walk. Inside I was surprised by how many of our group was already there being only 7:30. Cassandra, Chris, Amy and her friend, Cristine, Bobbie, Michele (in boy mode), Victoria and Diane and shortly after I got there Elizabeth and one of her friends from school showed up which was good for as early as it was.

It was awesome to see Diane again as she only get to Portland about once a month. We sat together and talked for about 30 minutes which was awesome as I got to know a lot more about her. She really is a wonderful person and a good friend even though there are still things we don’t know about each other. It would seem strange to most people I guess to think you could have a really good friend and still know so little about them but to me and most crossdressers it is normal as we all know we have secrets and don’t share all about our lives. As we get closer we share more. There are members of the group I really know nothing about other then what they present when they are out and to me that is more than enough. It is the person that counts and not knowing every little detail and secret in their life. I guess my outlook is a little different than most but think what a wonderful world this would be if people just accepted others for who they are.

Well we all ordered dinner and had a wonderful time talking. Rachel, Danielle and Lorraine the GG’s we met at the P-Club were there. They have been so supportive about what happened and are the reason we have come to this new bar. Several of us played pool and although I didn’t do as well this week, won 1 and lost 1 which I guess is 500% but had a fun time. They had a good size crowd again last night, and of course they did Karaoke again but they didn’t get it set up till after 10.

They have some really talented people who sing there and of course some not so much but at least they try. Chris did get up and sing a couple times though and did an awesome job. It was a fun night and as usual went way to fast. It is always sad to see the evening come to an end but there is always next Friday night to look forward to. We are planning at this point to try another place not sure where but as long as I am out with my friends it will be fun.

Thanks for reading

August 25, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out again and what is on my mind tonight

Well it has been another long week for me and besides work there is a lot of drama going on here in my life. If you have read some of my latest blogs you all know some of us filed a complaint about being kicked out of a club for being transgender. Well this is not about that but rather some of the hateful comments that have been left online by a couple former members. Not the funny thing is they left the group because of whatever reason, issues with one of the members or just didn’t like what we were doing or where we were going and that is fine but they have made it their life’s mission to trash the group and members on some of the online forums like yelp and in the news stories about the complaint.

Now you would think that this would upset me and the other girls in the group but as strange as it seems we are all just laughing at them as they are so concerned with us and our group and what we are doing that it takes up most of their time. They must check these things several times a day to post and they have said they still have a couple members of the group that forward them our posts from the group. Which I guess with over 200 members that is believable. It is funny as they seem way more worried about us. Most of us just feel sorry for them as they must have empty sad lives that the only joy they find is with our group. In a way I guess you could call them stalkers of our group, they have kind of become the jokes of the group. Well enough of this and on to more important things.

As I said I was able to get out tonight and so I went to Starbuck’s as it is a nice place to catch up on e-mails and some work. It is kind of fun to think about some of the people I work with and wonder what they would think if they knew I was doing this work as Susan. I think that is why I started coming to Starbuck’s in the first place as it is way more fun doing my work here like this than at home as a guy. It also allows me to chat with some of my friends online and also update my blog, yes this blonde can multi task.

It is funny as Susan is on so many things online and my male self only has an e-mail address and nothing else. I tend to get a lot of friends request on Flickr and Facebook from people with no information or picture and I wonder if they really think I would friend them? Now I am not being stuck up or selective but I am not just looking for numbers to make me feel like I am special. I want to know a little about the person as I would rather have 100 really good friends than 1,000 people I know nothing at all about. I have one contact that has over 2,000 friends on face book and I wonder how she can even know anything about most of them. Don’t get me wrong as there is a place for this and it is a great way to meet people and keep in touch with them and if what you like is having lots of contacts that is fine for you. Just like for me I like to crossdress and that may not be what you like or want. We all are different and that is fine as that is what makes us each interesting.

We are still looking for a regular place to go on Friday nights. I actually got an e-mail through yelp, yes I Susan is on yelp too, from one of the bar tenders from the P-Club. He quit working there and is at another bar and extended an invitation to the group to go there on Friday nights so we also have that option. It is nice to have a place that offers a lot to do so we can accommodate every ones needs and likes in the group but I have always said for me it is about the people I am out with and not where we go. Friends are what makes you happy and healthy.

I have so many wonderful friends and that is what made me able to accept this part of me and grow as a person. Without them I would probably be still dressing at home. I always brag about our group and how wonderful it is but that is because it is true. I think we have the most active transgender community in the country as far as numbers of girls that go out regular and we do things at least 2 if not 3 times a week. It is all because of the internet, makes me wish there had been an internet 30 years ago, yes I am dating myself a little but wow if I had had friends and places to go when I was 18 to 20 think of all the fun I could have had.

Well I have the friends now and am able to get out regular so all is good and I just look forward instead of back. I want to thank all my wonderful friends here in the group, those I have met being out and even those who I have yet to meet and only know online. You have all had an impact on my life and helped make Susan the lady she is today. You are all awesome!

Well must end here thanks for reading.

August 23, 2012 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Out with Friends

Well this week has been busy week and I was ready for Friday night. I didn’t get home till almost 6 so it would be another rush to get ready but luckily I knew I would have to rush so I had already decided what I would wear and how I wanted to do my makeup which does help especially when I stick with it and don’t change my mind. Normally I never wear the outfit I first thought of for the night, I guess that is just part of being a girl. Actually I put way more thought and effort into how I look and what I wear as Susan than as my male self.

I was out the door a little before 7 and made it to the Sweethome Bar & Grill by 7:20. Cassandra & Elizabeth (Veronica’s daughter) were already there talking to Rachel. Rachel is the one who talked to the owner about our group and that is how we got the invitation to go there. We all went in and got a table. Now we were not sure how many would show up tonight as no one posted in the group but we were hopeful.

Well it turns out we had a good turnout, not huge but a good showing for our first group outing here, I think 10 or so. Cristine & Bobbie showed up along with Victoria, Kelly, Samantha, Sophie and Lorna. It was nice to see some of them out as a few have not been out in a while. I got a chance to talk with Lorna for a while which is always nice as her and Sophie always have so much going on and nice to catch up with them.

Larraine also showed up, she is a GG we met at the P-Club and is so awesome. I got a chance to chat with her for a bit but not long enough. We really did meet some nice people at the P-Club so it is a shame about us being asked not to come back there but on the bright side we have had a lot of support from friends Like Larraine, Rachel, and Danielle. They heard what happened and won’t go back to the P-Club.

They do Karaoke here on Friday nights and this week Kelly sang and she did really well. Rachel also sang and also was very good. I give them both a lot of credit for being able to get up in front of people like that and sing. Rachel was talking to one of the girls from the group that comes for Karaoke and she came over and talked with us for a while. Her name was Danielle and she was very nice and complimented us on how we looked. Actually she said she felt under dressed as most of our group was in dresses or skirts. Like I told her though when you only dress a couple times a week you want to dress up as that is the point.

It was a fun night and we even played some pool. Cassandra was on a roll and won like 8 games in a row including a couple regulars. Finally it was my turn to play and of course I got to play Cassandra. She was down to the 8 ball and I still had 5 balls on the table. Well she missed and I ran the rest of my balls and sunk the 8 ball to win. I then played Bobbie and won, then Cristine and one and then one of the guys from the bar and also won that game. Not often I can win 4 in a row.

It was a fun night and I stayed out later than I planned but always hard to leave when you are having so much fun.

I was also out Wednesday night for dinner with the group and noticed I forgot to blog about it, actually just was too busy and it slipped my mind. It was a fun night even though I didn’t stay out late.

I met the group at Fox & Hound, Victoria, Kim, Cristine, Bobbie, Cassandra and Chris were there. It was great to see Kim out again. We had a nice dinner and got to talk with Kim, she is doing so much better which is awesome.

Kitty and Shania came in late. They had done the Drag Out in Portland. This is where several Drag Queens go to different places around town and usually go to Pioneer Square. I have never done this but it sounds like a lot of fun and would love to do it but they start too early for me to make.

It turned out to be a fun week as I made it out 3 time.

August 19, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Relaxing night at Starbucks

Wow this summer is going by so fast and I have not been able to get out much to Starbuck’s so tonight I had the chance and took advantage of it. it is a beautiful hot sunny day here in the upper 80’s and the next several days will be in the upper 90’s and possibly break the 100 mark which is just way too hot for this girl as my makeup melts off my face. I left and to my luck no neighbors were home so easy getting out but as I was about 2 blocks from my house I noticed I forgot my bracelets and ring and was thinking of going back when I saw my neighbor headed home so I just kept going. Funny how strange I feel without my jewelry even though as a guy I hate things on my wrist or fingers.

I got to Starbucks and they were a little busy which for a hot day surprised me but still a couple tables open so I am okay. I normally get a hot chocolate when I come here but as it is so hot out plus it is loaded with calories and this girl is really making an effort to eat better and watch my calorie intake I tried their new refresher. I got the coco lime refresher which is only 50 calories and no fat compared to the 370 calories and 16 grams of fat in the hot chocolate I think it is a good choice and it is pretty good.

I just got my Avon order the other day, yes Avon brought back my favorite item, Beyond color plumping lip conditioner. I love this product as it is way better than anything I have found to keep my lips soft and not chapped. I don’t think it really plumps your lips at least I haven’t noticed it but really good at conditioning your lips. It is clear and really looks no different than chap stick accept it stays on way better. So even men can wear it and no one will know. If you have not tried it you really should. The other cool thing is you can place your order online and they will even ship directly to you and a lot of the time the shipping is free depending on how much you order. Plus I have a really awesome Avon lady. Yes I am going to give her a plug, if you don’t have an Avon representative check her page out.

Well as you all know from my earlier blog several of us here filed a complaint about being asked not to come back to the P-Club by the owner and it hit the news here in Portland big last Wednesday and Thursday. It was on all the news channels and they even interviewed 3 of the girls. KPTV and KATU put the interviews online and of course that means lots of exposure in the area. I was reading through some of the comments and a lot of them really have nothing to do with the facts or what are going on, it is just people making rude comments and it includes a couple former members of the group that left or were kicked out for causing problems in the group and now they have a way to attack members of the group which really is sad. To think that they are still so preoccupied with our group that they spend so much time and effort to attack us makes me wonder what kind of life they have.

There are also lots of coverage in the news papers and of course on blogs. I was contacted by Erin Rook, a reporter from PQ monthly and she asked me a bunch of questions. She even used some of it in her article on their web page, wish I hadn’t given her my age though as she put that in. makes one feel older when you see it in print. Still an interesting experience and I am sure it will not be my last.

The funny thing is ever since the interviews he has not said anything to the reporters other than his attorney told him not to say anything. It really is a learning experience as I have never been involved in something like this. It will be interesting to see how this proceeds and what happened. Earlier I was talking about the rude comments and I should clarify there have been some really good and supportive ones also which is really nice. We even had one bar that the owner personally invited us to go there called Sweet home Bar and Grill. We went there last week and I think we will be back there again this week. It is a lot smaller so might be hard if we had a lot of girls turnout but as still summer our numbers are down as some of the girls like to wait till it is dark before going out and I can relate to that as it wasn’t many years back I would never leave my house till after dark. Any way it really made me feel good to be invited to come to this place.

Well I need to get a little work done before Starbuck’s closes so I will end here. Thanks for reading.

August 14, 2012 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Different kind of post today

Hi All and forgive me for this post but as I said this blog was set up for me and for me I need to do this blog. We all like to think that the transgender community is one big happy family but as in all groups that is not always the case which is very sad as how can we expect others outside of our community to accepts us and treat us with respect if we cannot even do that among ourselves.

We have a former member of our group the Rose City T-Girls that left the group because she had a fight, disagreement with another member. We are not sure of what it was about as the girl who is still a member has not really made it public in the group what happened which shows a lot of class on her part.

The T-Girl who left started off making attacks against this one member and they have been public attacks online on public web pages. From there she started attacking other members of the group who had nothing to do with what happened other than being friends of the one T-Girl and even now is attacking everyone in the group with her posts and I guess in a broader look all transgender people who are larger than the average woman or older and can’t pass which is totally wrong and sad.

with what is going on with some of us filing a complaint against the P-Club for asking us not to come back because we are transgender there are now video interviews of several of the girls online from the different new channels and as always you can make comments which has given her a hug ability to make these attacks and some are pretty sad and petty. One has to think with the amount of time and effort she spends keeping track of a group she didn’t want to be a part of and the time involved in making these posts and attacks that she must be really unhappy with her own life as she can’t move on and forget about us and the only thing she can do is try to make our lives miserable. It really is sad.

Well any way she has been posting about all the problems we caused at the P-club which we did not and that we deserved to be kicked out which we did not, basically making this whole thing are fault which again it is not so I thought what better way to show this then use her own words as she has left many comments on my blog over the years. I guess she didn’t stop to think that things you put online stay for people to see over and over again. I will put all of them below but I wanted to highlight this comment first as back in February of 2011 we had heard a rumor there was an issue with us being at the P-Club which nothing ever happened and when we asked the bar staff they assured us there was no problems.

Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!

Hugs,
Jennifer

These are all of her comments and the post she left them on and all were very supportive of the group accept for one which was after she left the group. And they back up how much fun we and her had at the P-Club and that we never caused a problem there. Thanks for reading and allowing me to get this off my chest.

A new path on Friday nights June 23 2012 (notice on this comment no hugs Jennifer)

Your logic is severely flawed, Susan. How do you deduce from my statement that I’m putting down all transgendered people? Nothing in my comment makes a blanket statement towards all transgendered people. It’s obvious tat I was referring specifically to the obnoxious trannys who show up at the P-Club week after week making a spectacle of themselves. How that can be misconstrued as a statement towards all transgendered individuals is beyond my comprehension. Are you insinuating that anybody who considers themselves transgendered is above reproach, and therefore never at fault for anything? That’s silly. My point is simply that you’re fooling yourselves if you think that you were kicked out of the P-Club for any other reason than you own actions. You brought it on yourselves, and now you’re trying to make the owner the bad guy.

Tuesday night finally out again at Starbucks April 26 2011

Oh Susan, speaking of neighbors I am having some funny “neighbor issues” myself lately. There are multiple stories, and they’re a bit lengthy to post them all here, so I’ll have to tell them to you sometime soon. The one that I have to mention really quickly is that I have a new neighbor, and the first time that he met me was when I was dressed as Jennifer as he was moving his stuff in. He was blatantly ogling over my body, then he looked up at my face and I could tell from the look in his eye that he was instantly disgusted. The expression changed on his face so rapidly that it was hilarious, and I couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. Days later when he formally met me when I was in guy mode, he refused to shake my hand. Anyway, there is much more to this story, plus a couple of other neighbor stories that I have to tell you sometime. They’re all hilarious, though!

Love the blog, as always!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Awesome Friday with friends March 19 2011

Yes Susan, count me as one of the ones who is definitely going to Diva Las Vegas next year! I’ll definitely miss seeing you the next several Fridays. I can’t make it to the P-Club this Friday because I have to get up really early on Saturday morning. This will be the first Friday that I’ve missed going to the P-Club since mid-December! Yikes! Also, like you, I HATE having my photo taken as a guy. But Jennifer can’t get enough of the camera! So I understand what you mean. It’s is so weird!

Hugs,
Jennifer

A cold night out for the girls here in Portland February 26 2011

Great blog as always, Susan! And yes, Misty already has some photos on the group page. I posted them last Saturday. So she has several of them posted on there, as a matter of fact. Good job of “finding” her, Susan! She is so much fun! Also, it’s not surprising that you get so many hits on your webpage(s). Norma and I were talking about your webpage and blog this past Sunday night, and we were discussing how great we think it is and what a good job that you do. We stop by and read it on an almost daily basis to see updates. Keep up the great blogging!

Hugs,
Jennifer

6 Weeks to Diva Las Vegas February 16 2011

“People go camping for a week or two but this does not mean they want to live in a tent for the rest of their lives…” Oh my god, that is such a perfect analogy! I love it!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Possible issue with our group at the P-Club still a fun night February 12 2011

Great blog as usual, Susan! You always capture the evening perfectly. Yet another reason that I appreciate this blog so much is that on evenings where I drink a bit too much and my memory is foggy, I can always read your blog to jog my memory! I also agree that the owner of the P-Club has no legitimate reason to ask us not to come there. We have been model patrons (well, that is if you’re not upset by your patrons dressing like girls ). My opinion – if he doesn’t like us there, he should come and say it to our faces. Then I would leave with no complaints. But unless I hear it directly from him, I wouldn’t feel right about just ceasing to go there. That’s just my two cents. Too bad the parking is so horrible in my neighborhood. There are TONS of nightspots that would LOVE our business and welcome us with open arms! Unfortunately they all have on-street parking and usually that means you’re lucky to find a spot 4 or 5 blocks from the place that you want to go to. The upside would be that there are so many places in such close proximity that we could even “bar hop” from place to place, and that might be kinda fun. But the parking situation would have to be resolved before we even think about trying some places in my neighborhood. Oh well, I have faith that it’ll all work out.

Keep up the great blogging!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Diva Las Vegas here I come February 5 2011

Well crap, there is no way that I can make Diva Las Vegas this year. Not only do I have a roller derby bout the weekend before, and a race the weekend after, but now I find out that I have to go to Hood River, Oregon for work for two and a half days in the middle of that week! I hardly ever have to travel for my job, but wouldn’t you know it that this would be the year and the week that I have to go out of town. I am DEFINITELY in for next year, though! That gives me plenty of time to schedule the time off and to shop, shop, shop for Vegas clothes. I’m bummed that I can’t make it this year, but put me down for next year for sure!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Passing in public February 2 2011

I am really shocked to read that you feel that you don’t pass, Susan! I’ve always thought of you as passing. I have shown your photo to a number of GG friends of mine and they all swear that you are a GG. As a matter of fact, I got into a heated argument with a GG friend of mine over you because she thought that I was lying to her. It wasn’t until I thought to show her your blog and website that she believed me! Then she was just shocked and kept saying how beautiful you are. Your makeup is always absolutely perfect and your eyes are gorgeous feminine eyes. I think that the eyes have a lot to do with passing. They’re not the only factor, of course, but they’re a big part. I think that you focus on what you perceive to be your flaws (we all do that). For example, you mentioned that you feel that your size has a lot to do with why you feel that you don’t pass. Well, that GG friend of mine who got into a heated argument with me over whether or not you’re a GG, is only 5’3 and 118 lbs., and she swore up and down that you were a GG!!! So your size may only be a factor in your own mind. I know plenty of attractive GG’s that are as tall as or taller than you. I know that we all have our own definition of what “passing” is, but if you cause a big argument between two friends over the identity of your gender, then that’s passing in my book!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Shuffleboard, pool and dancing at the p-club January 29 2011

Great blog, Susan! Yes, it was a different DJ that night, and her music selection wasn’t that great. So I played with my new camera to keep myself busy. It was a great time! Enjoyed finally meeting Alice, too!

Hugs,
Jennifer

New Years eve with friends January 1 2011

Thank you so much for the compliment on the dress! As you know, you are my hero, so any compliment from you means a lot to me! I bought that dress for only $15 at an after Christmas sale at Deb at the Lloyd Center Mall. It was 75% off! It’s my new favorite dress, and it’s the least expensive one that I own! Imagine that. It was my first strapless dress, and it has inspired me, because I’ve since purchased another strapless one to wear on Valentine’s Day! I can’t wait!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Friday at the p-club January 8 2011

Yes Susan, it was a great night (from what I can remember of it)! I danced for hours, over the course of which I drank too much and paid dearly for it the next day. Oh well, I had a blast like I always do with you girls! Thank you so much again for the link to the makeup videos. I watched several of them last night. I like her style a lot, and she is very easy to watch/listen to. And you’re right, she DOES make it look easy! Thanks again and I can’t wait to see you again!

Hugs,
Jennifer

Small group at P-Club November 13 2010

Great blog! You captured the evening perfectly, Susan. And you’re correct, I DID have a great time and I could NOT stop smiling the whole time! So much fun! I can’t wait to go out again! You girls are the best!

Hugs,
Jennifer

August 12, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, P-Club, Rose_City_T-Girls, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Tried out Sweethome Bar and Grill

As our group is still looking for places to go last night I checked out Sweethome Bar & grill on Lombard, Rachel whom we met at the P-Club facebooked me and told me about the place and that the owner told her our group was welcome to come there. Now this was kind of a first for Susan as I knew some of our groups regular Friday nighters would not be out and the only response to my post about going there was a couple maybes. So going in I realized it could be just Susan there for the night as I wasn’t even sure Rachel who recommended it would be there.

I got there at 7:30 and they have a really small lot so found a parking spot on the street nearby. Now I am pretty comfortable walking into places as Susan but walking into a bar by yourself is always a little intimidating even for a GG (genetic girl). As I walked up I saw Rachel sitting at a table outside, actually she saw me first and came over and gave me a hug before I even got there. I guess I am a little easier to recognize from a distant.

Rachel introduced me to a couple of the people outside including Danielle, Yes this blonde can remember her name as I have met her also at the P-Club. Rachel also took me inside to show me around and introduced me to the staff and this blonde is horrible with names but all were nice and supportive of our group. I even met the owner Paul who really made me feel welcome and assured me our group was always welcome there.

Rachel, Danielle and I sat and talked and yes a lot was about the P-Club, they thought what happened to our group was wrong and were very supportive of us which is always nice to hear. I also got to know them a lot better and both are wonderful. Cristine did show up about 8:30 which was nice as I was not the only T-girl there now.

It is smaller on the inside maybe the size of the pool area at P-Club or just a little bigger. They have one pool table .50 a game and a good food selection and good prices equal to or cheaper than the P-Club. They have a small parking lot but easy street parking. A really nice friendly neighbor hood bar. They also do Karaoke on Friday nights. They have a group of about 10 to 15 girls that come every Friday for Karaoke and a few regulars they know will be there. Even some of the regulars came over and talked; now we will test my memory. Heather I think was her name came over and told me how cute my heels were and yes they were my favorite pair at least when I am not walking or standing a lot. We chatted for a few minutes and she seemed really nice and not at all bothered with us being there. Miz also came over to talk with us and told us how nice we looked; she even wished she had worn a dress after seeing us.

Cristine and I played a couple games of pool and wow tonight was not my night. I could not sink a ball to save my life so there is no need to tell you who won. A couple more of Rachel’s friends showed up, Heather and her friend Josh so of course they joined us and we had a nice conversation with them. It was a fun night and no one really gave us a second look. I would guess there were probably 25 people there last night.

Cristine left about midnight and I went and stayed about 20 minutes more talking with Heather and Rachel and thanked Rachel for letting me know about this place. On the way out several of the customers said goodbye and hoped they would see me back again. Even the owner thanked me for coming and again assured me our group was more than welcome to come there.

It was a nice fun evening.

Well I should have a little more time this next week for Susan so hopefully I will be able to blog a little more. Thanks for reading.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Interesting Wednesday afternoon for Susan at an Attorney’s office

Well Wednesday July 25th 2012 was a really interesting Wednesday for Susan and for reasons you will read I had to put off making this blog. First I will start with a little background. As you all know from reading my blog our group was asked not to come back to the P-Club by the owner Chris Penner, he actually called Cassandra and left two different voice mails for her about it. Well so all the group could hear what he said she posted it on her YouTube page. Well she also sent the link to this page to the State Attorney Generals office along with a couple local attorneys never really thinking anything about it.

Well one of the attorney’s Beth Allen contacted Cassandra and wanted her to call her and talk to her about it which Cassandra did; she got a free half our phone interview. From this interview Beth Allen believed the Chris Penner violated the law as well as our right under discrimination laws and offered to represent us on contingency. She wanted to meet with Cassandra and a few others that were there on a regular basis. Cassandra said she would talk to a few that were there every week and get back to her. Any way Cassandra met with me, Victoria, Chris and Cristine on Wednesday July 11 at the Rainbow Room to get our opinions and to talk about if we should go forward or not and what kind of issues we might have. We all talked for over an hour and most of the discussion was on reasons we shouldn’t and what might happen or go wrong, mainly being outed for us and possibly members of the group as our group is the main concern. After all the discussion the group came to the conclusion what Chris Penner did was wrong and to keep this from happening at other places we may wish to go we needed to at least meet with Beth Allen and talk with her face to face and get our questions answered so Cassandra set up a meeting with the 5 of us and her on August 1 at her office. Mind you we still had not said yes or no we just had questions that needed being answered and all of us were in total agreement.

Now Beth Allen contacted the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries also known as BOLI to get some information on this and how to proceed. BOLI is the state agency who investigates among other things civil rights violations. Now normally how it works is you file a complaint with BOLI and they investigate, if they find that you have a valid complaint they will file the complaint for the persons making the claim in that persons name. Any way from the information they got from Beth’s questions and the YouTube video they contacted Beth Allen and asked to meet with her and the 5 of us on Wednesday July 25th at 3 pm so Beth contacted Cassandra and asked to move our meeting up one week. So this is how we got to my interesting Wednesday afternoon, going downtown Portland in at 2 pm as Susan to meet with an Attorney and a representative for BOLI.

Now this was going to be a fast day as I got off work at 12 and it takes me ½ hour to get home and I need ½ hour to get back downtown Portland to Beth Allen’s office and that is if there is no traffic issues which left little time to get ready so I laid all my stuff out the night before. Turns out traffic was light and I was home by 12:30 and all ready to leave by 1:15 which I think is a personal record for Susan getting ready, shower, shave, makeup, cloths, jewelry and nails and I still looked pretty. Well I drove downtown and only hit a little traffic but easily made it. There is a parking garage about a block away. Now walking downtown on a nice warm day is really nice and there were so many people out. I met Chris out front of the office building about 1:45 and could see Cassandra and Cristine walk up the street so we waited for them and all went inside together. Pretty good timing so far. When the elevator opened we found Victoria who had parked in the garage under the building riding up so all 5 of us went up together. Peggy Cassandra’s wife was already in the office waiting for us.

We met with Beth Allen and her law clerk for about an hour and got to ask all kinds of questions and she told us a little about BOLI and how they wanted to proceed. Our biggest question about privacy for our group members and possibilities of being outed in public were answered and Beth assured us that was not an issue. Only those willing to be involved in the case and giving their names would be involved and the rest of the group would not be involved at all. With our questions answered we were all feeling better about this. Now it was almost 3 and we were already to meet with the representative of BOLI and answer their questions.

Now it was not one representative from BOLI but 4, an Administrator and 3 investigators so now the 6 of us were in an office with Beth Allen, her law clerk and 4 state officials from BOLI. Now to the funny part, they really didn’t have a lot of questions for us but rather told us what they wanted to do. Seems they have already started checking into Chris Penner and the P-Club. Turns out the Commissioner of BOLI feels pretty strong about this case, so much so that he wants to file the complaint in his name, he would be the plaintiff and we would be secondary, basically witnesses. Turns out the voice mail he left where he singled out us as tyranny’s they feel is incredibly strong evidence. They are actually ready to start the process all they need is a few of us which is different then what we thought. They are coming to us.

Anyway we talked with them for over an hour and a half again asking a lot of the same questions we asked Beth as I said our group is the main concern and we want to protect it above all else. Again they told us the same thing; it would only be those who were willing to be witnesses and be involved in the case, everyone else in the group would not be involved in any way.

Now mind you the goal we all have is to tell Chris Penner and any other business out there that they cannot discriminate against transgender people, be it transsexuals, t-girls, or crossdressers. Now we realize BOLI can and will probably place a fine on him as in anything you get people’s attention when you hit them in the pocket book. We are not out to bankrupt him or put him out of business as we really do like the employee’s there as they treated us so great for the two years we went there. But like I said this type of action against transgender people cannot be tolerated so we all decided as a group we should go forward. With that all that was left were to sign onto the complaint.

Now Victoria and Cristine are full time and have legally changed their name so they were the first to Sign. Chris who is a supporter of the transgender community and most of those who know him know this also signed. Cassandra also signed, she is not out publicly as far as both sides of her. I also signed but asked that my male name be left out unless absolutely necessary as I still have kept both sides separate. Now I know that even doing it this way there is a good chance I could be outed but I feel this is worth it as discrimination is wrong in any sense and I guess I am ready to stand up.

None of us knows what will happen but we are sure that there will be media coverage as these types of cases get played up in the news plus in a way that is the point. If this does not get out to the public so they know that they cannot discriminate then this is all for nothing as I said that is our goal. For Transgender people to be able to go where they want, work where they want and not be afraid of being discriminated against.

We also agreed to have Beth Allen represent us in this as our attorney which she is doing totally on contingency. It will cost us nothing. She feels that BOLI along with fines will probably ask for attorney fees to be paid, but even so she is taking this on realizing she may get nothing off of the case. That is how strong she feels about this. Turns out she does a lot of GBLT cases in Oregon and is a big supporter of this cause. From talking to her and meeting her I would highly recommend Beth Allen if you need an attorney.

It was about 4:45 when we were all done. The people from BOLI thanked us and said they would be in touch with Beth to help write the complaint and keep us up to date on the case. Seems this is the first of this type of case in Oregon. Hard to believe that just 4 or 5 years ago I was too scared to really go out of my house and now I am involved in something this big. I am still a little scared about the future and being outed but not nearly as much as I would have thought.

Well from here we all went over to Fox & Hound which I already blogged about.

This was a little longer than my normal blog but felt it needed to be to make sure I got it just right. Thanks for reading and of course I will update as I can.

August 8, 2012 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Spending time with friends

Well it has been another long busy week for my male self so I was really ready for the weekend and a fun Friday night out with friends. We were planning on meeting at the Boiler room at 7 but it was a long day for me and I didn’t even get home till after 5 so I had to hurry and get ready. I was all ready, makeup done and just had to decide on what to wear. It is a hot day and I knew it would be hot in the Boiler Room so I decided on my little black dress. I don’t wear it that often but really like it.

I arrived about 7:15 fashionably late but still not bad considering when I got home from work. There were already lots of people out downtown as normal on warm summer days and I had to park about a block away which still is not bad plus I enjoyed the walk. Inside the Boiler room there were only a couple people, Amanda the bar tender greeted me by name which always makes you feel welcome. Chris was the only one there from our group so far so I guess I was not that late.

Chris and I talked a bit then we played a game of pool. Veronica was the next to show up, she is still in town till tomorrow so it was nice to see her out. To my surprise I won the game of pool against Chris so next I played Veronica. Again I won so that was 2 in a row and I was off to a good start. Victoria was here now so she was next up to play pool. I was on a roll and won twice against her to make 4 in a row. I could tell this was going to be a good night.

By now Cassandra, Cristine and Bobbie were all here and we once again had a good group out. Now after winning 4 games in a row it was time to play Bobbie. Yes again I won, this was my night at pool. Next up was Cristine and I was feeling pretty good. I was down to the 8 ball and as Cristine’s ball was blocking the one corner my only shot was to bank it off the rail and pull it back the whole length of the table to the opposite corner and I almost made it but it hit the edge and stopped right in front of the pocket, so close. Of course now with Cristine’s last ball right in front of one corner and the 8 in front of the other I had left her set up perfectly and of course she made both shots and won ending my streak but it was a good game.

Roxy also made it out tonight which was awesome as she is done with her schooling (Beauty school) and now should be able to get out more at least till she finds a job. Buffy and her girlfriend Scarlet also made it out. Buffy was out Wednesday night but it has been a while since I have seen Scarlet out. We had a smaller group tonight about 10 to 12 but still pretty good when you think back a couple years when we were thrilled to have 6 or more out at once.

At 9 they started to do Karaoke and Chris, Buffy and Scarlet all signed up to sing. I give them a lot of credit to be able to get up in front of people and sing. As much fun as that would be I just don’t have the courage. Funny just like dancing I worry what people would think of my singing or dancing ability and what would they think and yet I am totally fine with dressing as Susan and going out and never worry what others think about that. Funny what we worry about.

It was probably about 10 when they really started to get busy, guess people just waited till it started to cool off before going out. some of the people who sang were really good and others not so much well maybe a few were really bad but they still were willing to do it so no matter how bad they were at least they gave it a try.

There was also a group of girls there, it was ones Bachelorette party. Her name was Betsy, yes they were all wearing shirts that said Betsy so not hard to figure out but Roxy and I talked with them for a while. She is getting married this week and they were all out for a fun night. There was maybe 12 in there group and we had a nice chat.

Now one of the fun things about being downtown is that the girls at these clubs all seem to dress up. Most wear dresses or skirts and heels which is different from the P-club. The girls all look so beautiful and it is funny as we tend to notice their outfits first and how they would look on us before we notice how cute they are. This is the big drawback of being out as Susan, it is kind of hard to go up and hit on a girl while one is dressed as a female. I think this is the biggest dilemma for a heterosexual crossdresser. If we find a lady we like then we have to find a way to explain our crossdressing and hope they will understand and possibly support it. If we meet them when we are female then there is still our other half, male side that we need to explain to them. Either way when we meet them they really are only meeting half of us as we really do have 2 sides to us which puts us at a little bit of a disadvantage. The other thing is as my male self I am pretty shy, strange when I think about it as I go out as Susan and believe it or not Susan is way more outgoing but she has been working on it more too. The thing is as Susan I try to take on the whole female roll which also means I tend or want others to come up to me which when you are talking about other females who are also wanting someone else to make the first move I find myself at a standoff, just some of my thoughts.

We had another awesome night out as always and I can think of no better way to end a long week then with good friends having fun. The next two weeks my male self will be really busy but hop to get out on Friday nights. Any way I will always post when ever Susan is able to get out as it really is my way of keeping a diary of my life out as Susan.

Thanks for reading.


August 4, 2012 Posted by | Boiler Room, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dinner with friends

Well Wednesday night I wanted to go out and as I knew some of the group would be at Fox & Hound I decided to join them for dinner. Actually the next two weeks my time out as Susan will be limited so this was a good reason as if I need one to spend a few hours with my friends.

Well I was ready and out the door by 6:30 and no neighbors in sight which is always good. I was downtown by 7 and again parked right in front of Fox & Hound. Roxy, Chris, Cassandra, Victoria and Cristine were already there at the bar so I joined them and we talked for a while waiting to see if anyone else would show up. I had a good chance to talk with Roxy; she has passed all her state test and now has her beauty license, now all she has to do is find a place to work.

Well we were all getting hungry so we moved over to a table and ordered some food; I went with the fish and chips. We talked about what we wanted to do Friday night and as we haven’t found a place to go we decided to go back to the Boiler Room as we have a good time there. The only issue is the fact they can get so crowded you can’t move around.

Liz showed up, I met her for the first time last Friday. She is Veronica’s daughter and we were talking to her about where Veronica was and when she would be back in town when Veronica arrived. It was awesome to see her as it has been months since she has been out on a night I was also out. I only got to talk a little with her but still nice.

Bobbie and Buff also showed up so we had a pretty good turnout for a Wednesday evening. We had a relaxing dinner and good conversation. About 9 the group headed over to CC’ Slaughters and as I had to get up early it was time for me to call it a night so I said my goodbyes and left for home. I am hoping to be out Friday night of course.

Thanks for reading

August 3, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

   

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