Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday night at the Escape Bar and Grill

Well it has been a fun day so far, I love days that I can spend as Susan. I actually spent longer at Starbucks then I panned so it was a little after 5 when I got home. I changed and put on a dress and heels and then  was going to touch up my makeup but I decided to redo my lipstick as I wanted to wear red tonight. I really do love the color red. I was on my way a little before 6.

I got to Escape a little after 6 and I was the first one there. Now I am not sure how many will show up but I am sure some will. I got a table and set up my computer and then went up to the bar to order. While I was waiting for the bar tender a man and woman across  the bar saw me and the man Called out my name “Susan” and asked me where the my friends were. I have seen them here before and told them I was early and they would be here later. I ordered dinner ad then went back to the table and played on my computer.

It was about 7:30 when Cristine arrived and Missy and her friend shortly after. Always nice to have friends out with you. Laura showed up shortly after 8 It was good to see her again. Jan, Lynn and Joan also made it out tonight. It was good to see all my friends.

We also had a new girl who came out with her girlfriend. It was actually her first time ever going out. It is always fun to meet a girl on her first night out, It always makes me think back to my first nights out and how I felt. The fear and excitement we all feel. Several of us talked with them and tried to make them feel welcome. Laura, Jan and I got a good chance to talk with them and learn a little about them. I hope we see them out again. Now for her first time she did really well, she even invited her roommate to the bar to meet her and he seemed fine with it, his girlfriend also invited one of her friend. So she is out to a few people something I would never have done. I still have not told any of my friends on my male side about Susan although I often think about it and wonder what they would say, what my co-workers would say. It would be nice not to have to hide any part of who I am but at this point in my life I just can’t be that open.

It was a really good night out as always. it was about 11:30 when I paid gel (4)my bill and headed home. Now it is Sunday and I am doing my blog and looking at my nails. I have one more week before vacation again and I really want to keep my nails long for vacation. I am wondering if I can make it one more week as they reallygel (5) are looking long I will put the matt polish back on them to hide the shine but I am worried about the length.

I am actually surprised I haven’t broken a nail as I have grown them out. Besides the gel polish on them I also put some OPI nail envy on the underside of my nails and I really think that has helped them. gel (6)It really would be awesome if I could have nails like this all the tie and with color like red or pink.

I think I will try to keep them through the following week so I can have fun with them on my vacation.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.

February 28, 2016 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday at the movies

Well I started getting ready and I guess I took longer than I thought as it was 10:30 when I was finally ready. I grabbed my computer and I was on my way. Now there was a lot of traffic for a Saturday and that slowed me down so I actually got to the theater about 10:50 and parked in the parking garage across the street. now I had no idea how busy they would be or how full the theater would be. the movie has been out for a while now but then it is also a Saturday so I guess I will find out.

I walked across the street and there was a couple in front of me in line buying tickets for Star Wars: the force awakens. I got to the window and got a ticket, the lady asked if I had a Regal card which I do but I left it in the car and there wasn’t time to go back and get it so no discounts for me today. I went in and went to the Theater. there were about 20 people in there so I had my choice of seats to a point. To my surprise I was not the only one there by myself. there was a man in the front row and a woman one row behind me. well getting there late I didn’t have to wait long for the movie to start.

Okay now I am a big Star Wars fan as I still remember standing in line to see the first one back in 1977, wow it is hard to believe it has been almost 40 years since the original Star Wars came out. The movie was good not as good as some and better than others but in all I was happy with it and glad I saw it. If you are a Star Wars fan you need to see it. It even had 3 of the original cast in the movie of course they were much older. The movie is about 2 hour and 15 minutes long. By the time the movie got over and I got out to my car it was almost 2 pm.

I thought about going shopping but decided not to. I have some work I need to catch up on and I am also almost out of gas as I forgot to fill up yesterday.I figured I would go to the Starbucks by my house and do my blog and catch up on my work before heading home and changing for tonight to go to the Escape.

I Stopped and got gas first at the station right by my house. now it was a little cool out and windy so I got  a little cold filling up my gas tank. I drove across the parking lot to Starbucks and went in. There were about 12 people inside. There were 2 woman a head of me in line. I got to the counter and the young man asked me what I would like, as I was cold I ordered a hot chocolate, Starbucks has the best hot Chocolate. He took my order and even remembered my name. I will give Starbucks credit as there employees are good at remembering names. I also ordered a cheese Danish as I was kind of hungry. I got my order and went and sat at a table by the window.

Now the sun is out and shining through the window and it feels really good, it didn’t take long though for me to remove my sweater. It is actually really warm sitting here but it feels so nice, I am ready for summer and the sunshine.

now a little side note as I did my makeup this morning I tried to do my lips with a fuller look. last night doing the bottom lip looked so good I also tried it on my upper lip. I don’t like the way the upper lip turned out, I think on me it looks fine to make the lower lip fuller but not the upper, will have to remember this.

Well I sat here doing my blog and watching people come and go, it really is a steady stream of people that come here. As much as I have come here over the last two weeks I keep waiting to see someone I know.

It is 3 pm now and I am just finishing my blog. I have some work to do that I hope I can get done over the next hour or so. I hope to be home by 4 so I can relax a little and then change for the evening with the hope of being at the Escape by 6.

Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a wonderful day.

February 27, 2016 Posted by | movies, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Last Friday of February

well it has been a long week at work I have worked 10 pus hours the last several day so I am ready for the weekend and some relaxation and of course Susan time. Now I have kept my pretty nails all week as the matt polish hid the shine really well and the pink tint is not that visible under florescent lights but they are a little on the long side now and of course they have the square shape that really isn’t something a man would have. even so as far as I know only one lady noticed or at least she was the only one who said something.

She asked me about my nails as hers were always breaking and she was looking for something she could do. I told her I had put a gel polish on them to keep them from breaking as my job I can’t have super short nails as I peel things off all the time and I tend to get paper cuts under my nails which hurt. I told her I just didn’t like having a few long nails and the rest really short or broken. Of course I didn’t tell her I went to the nail salon to get them done. Any way she thought they looked nice. I wonder what she would have thought if they were still really shinny and she saw the pink tint.

I got home today and took the matt polish off so they are shinny again and they do look really long now. I am hoping I can go one more week with out shortening them as I will be on vacation again and I will have really nice nails for it that I can paint. well I sat down on the couch to watch a little TV before getting ready I really want to be to Sweethome early maybe before 6. well that didn’t work as I fell asleep on the couch as it has been a hard week. It was 5:30 when I woke up so it would be a rush to get ready.

Susan Miller 2-26-2016 (3)Now as I have gotten better with makeup and getting ready I can get ready in under an hour if everything goes right which luckily it did tonight. Now I did spend a little extra time on my lips as I tried to make them a little fuller and it actually turned out well, the hardest part of lining outside your lip line is to get them even. For tonight I just made the bottom lip fuller. I toke a few pictures before I left.

I was on my way by  6:30 so I did make my 1 hour time getting ready. I got there and Chris was there playing pool. I got out my computer and caught up on some e-mails as being so busy this past week Susan has not been online much. I ordered their special for dinner and it was really good as always although way to much. I couldn’t finish it all, well I might have except I wanted to save room for a piece of cheese cake.

Roxy showed up for a little while so there were 3 of us. also the otherSusan Miller 2-26-2016 (2) big group that comes here on Fridays were gone tonight so it was a smaller crowd but still a fun night. Several of the regulars were here also so I talked with them briefly

Dawni and Mareinna were also here tonight, Mareinna in boy mode. They are really awesome and I look forward to seeing them. it is nice to go places and just be accepted for who I am.

Now as I said the other group was not here tonight including Craig who does the Karaoke on Friday nights. Well they had someone there to do Karaoke. She was really good at singing. she sang several time and had a great voice plus she picked songs I knew and liked. She also had on roller skates so she was skating through the bar, she had on this cute hat and really looked good. It was a slower night so not as many singers so they each got to sing more times. It was a fun night.

Susan Miller 2-26-2016 (1)By 10 Roxy had left and Chris was also leaving but I wanted to stay and listen to some more singing, well I just wanted to enjoy my Susan time a little longer. Now as I said I was really tired and it started to catch up with me. a little after 11 I went and paid my bill so I could go home. I said goodbye to the people I new and of course got hugs from Mareinna and Dawni.

As I walked out the door I hear someone say have a good night. I looked back and it was the lady doing Karaoke. she had followed me out the door and wished me a good night and even gave me a hug. Now I do so love getting hugs from anyone as I think everyone needs to be hugged more but getting a hug from a cute girl is always awesome. I should have gotten her name so I don’t have to keep calling her the lady who did Karaoke.

I got home and went right to bed as I was tired. now tomorrow I will be going to the Escape in the evening but I am also planning on going and seeing the Star Wars Movie before it leaves the theaters. There is an 11 am showing at the Regal City Center so I think I will try for that one. I am planning on going as Susan although this is close to where I live but I figure I go to a nail salon by my house and I have started going to the Starbucks by my house so why not. It would be fun to go as Susan, should have thought of this sooner so I could have seen if anyone else wanted to go. I may even do a little shopping after or go to Starbucks, we will see.

Have a great day

February 27, 2016 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the escape

Well Tonight I will go to the Escape bar and grill for my last outing as Susan before heading back to work, It has been a fun week. Now I got home from Starbucks after getting my nails done and the red removed. It has been a fun day so far. Well at home I chatted with Cassandra and a few others online, Cassandra was DJ’ing the room and it was the first time I got to hear her as I am never at home so I always have my volume turned off. She is really good at running the room.

Well at 5 I touched up my makeup and got ready to go. I wore the same thing I did all day although I did put my heels in the car to wear once if got to the escape. Now I am a little worried about my nails with the shinny pink tint to them so I decided to stop at Sally’s Beauty supply and get the stuff I need if I have to remove the gel polish. I needed some Acetone and they had a little kit with plastic holders to hold the cotton on your fingers so you don’t have to soak them.

I got to the Escape at 6 I was the first there. I ordered dinner as they have pizza now. I ordered a Canadian and Bacon pizza as they are really good. A few minutes later Karen who is the cook here came out and apologized as they did not have pizza tonight. Seems the cook that was suppose to work tonight called in and she came in last minute on her day off. She really is nice and likes us all. I ordered something different.

Cassandra showed up next and she also had her computer. Cassandra and I talked a little before the other girls showed up. Laura H. and Lisa showed up first and then Laura M. and Jenny showed up. Laura was wearing the skirt she bought while we were out shopping.

Alicia also made it tonight, it was wonderful to see her again. It has been a while since I have seen her. She also had to friends that came out with her tonight. It was nice to meet them and I got a chance to talk with them for a while. Debbie, Dee and Rachael also made it out tonight so we had a big group out tonight. Lots of good conversation.

Bobbie and her wife Pam also made it out tonight. They were in town for the weekend and joined us. It was great to see them again as it really 12742052_10208486100734274_688174557171912989_nhas been a long time. Pam is so supportive of Bobbie which is wonderful. Of course we had to get a picture. It was nice to talk to them for a while.

There was also a group playing pool  men and 5 woman and they were really fun. We were taking some pictures and one of them named Dustin came over and got in one of the pictures with us that Pam took. She told him she would put it on Facebook. He came back a little while later and was still waiting for it to show up on Facebook so they were trying to get it online. Well I took a picture with him and posted it on my Facebook and he found me and sent me a friends request so I could tag him in the picture.

12717399_10208485948410466_4373951195309752614_nSo this is Dustin and me. There group was really fun and we got along well with them. I talked several times with them and they thought I looked beautiful.

Well it was about 11 when I left and went home. Now I had to say goodbye to my shinny nails. Shinny, pink and long would just be to much for work. I put my mat nail polish on and it did hide the shininess and it also helped make them look not so long. The one thing it didn’t do is help with the pink. Now I wondering if I can keep them. I really want to keep them this way for the next 2 week as I will be on vacation again and it would be awesome to have long pretty nails for that vacation. I think as long as they don’t get a close look at them I will be fine. I will at least give it a try. now if I can go 2 weeks without trimming them they will be pretty long. We will see how it goes.

Thanks for reading

February 21, 2016 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday and time to remove the red from my nails.

I got up today knowing I have to remove the red from my nails which is such a shame as they still look just as good as they did last Saturday when I got them done. They really do look pretty. Well I got dressed 20160220_121447and yes I am wearing one of my pairs of Jeggings I bought yesterday and they are really comfortable. I left my house at 10 am I drove to the Starbucks by my house and from there called the nails salon which is right across the street to see if I could get in for a manicure and polish change. Turns out Saturday is there busy day. Anna had an opening at 1 pm so I took it. this would give me almost 3 hours to enjoy my20160220_121459 nails. I walked into the Starbucks and they were packed. Now I don’t mind I being busy but there was not an open seat or table any place as a matter of fact there were a few people standing next to tables with people they were talking with so I left.

Now there are several Starbucks around that I have not been to so I drove a  couple miles to one and they were still busy but they did have one table open so I put my computer on it and went and ordered a drink. I guess Saturday is the day people go to Starbucks also as there was a steady stream of people coming in the while time I was here. Starbucks is a really good place to go and people watch.

Well normally I do my blog for Friday at home Saturday morning but this gave me a chance to do it at Starbucks. It really is more fun blogging about my time as Susan when I am out as Susan, just kind of makes a complete circle. Now as I said it is fun to people watch here and I was really paying attention to what the people were wearing especially the woman. Now I would say that 70% of them had on leggings, some with skirts but I never really noticed how many woman wear them The rest were mostly jeans although I think a couple of the jeans were like mine Jeggings and of course there were a couple in skirts.

Well it is amazing how fast that time went and soon it was time to leave for my nail appointment. I got there right at 1 and Anna was just finishing up with a lady and it was busy. they had 7 nail techs there and all were busy and there were 3 ladies waiting. Anna told me to pick out my color which I did. it is called clear pink #401 which I have gotten before. it is a clear polish with just the slightest pink tint to it. You really can’t see the pink unless you are in bright sunlight and looking close so it is a safe color.

Anna finished the lady she was doing and called me over to her table. she looked at my nails and said they still looked great why did I want to change them. I just told her I was going back to work and the red was just way to much. She filed the top coat off and then put the cotton on to soften the gel polish so it could be removed. the first nail was the hardest to watch. it really didn’t take long to remove the gel and my nails were back to there normal look a bit long though.

Anna started my manicure and I asked her to shorten them a little as they were a little on the long side for when I am not Susan, which she did but kept the same shape. I looked at them and they looked short enough and the shape seamed fine. I went and washed my hands and came back to the table. Anna said she wanted to try #409 and she showed my the color and it looked about the same clear with a pink tint to it so I decided to try it. Anna put on a clear base coat and then the first coat of #409 which is called kiss of pink. now with gel polish you dry them as you go in an ultra violet machine. she finished the first coat and there was the slightest pink tint to my nails. she did a second coat and the the clear top coat and I looked at my nails and you could see the pink color if you looked close.

The manicure with gel polish was $25 so not that bad and my nails looked nice. I paid and was on my way. I am really thinking of trying to get a manicure every couple weeks as it is fun and I enjoy it. Anna thanked me and I was on my way. I got in my car and went to put my ring on and wow in natural light my nails really do have a pink tint to them and they do look 20160220_143335a lot longer then they did without polish. I am wondering if I will be able to keep them this way, I have a mat nail polish I was putting over the clear gel to get rid of the shine I am hoping it will also cover up the pink color. The color doesn’t20160220_143936 show up very well in the pictures as I tried several attempts. It really is amazing how a polish even a clear can make your nails look longer.

Well I left the nail salon and as I drove home I passed the Starbucks and I could see a couple tables empty inside so I figures I would stop and do this blog before going home. Now they were still busy but I had a place to sit. I ordered my drink and the girl behind the counter remembers my name which was nice although I have been here a few 20160220_145401times over the last week.

SO I sat here for a little over an hours doing my blog and catching up on some work. It is amazing as there are some of the same people here that I have seen here on other days. I guess a lot of people come here and hang out so I am not the only one. As I sit here there are 2 ladies at the next table and both have beautiful red nails and I find myself being jealous of them because they can have them when ever they want.

Well time to leave as I have things to do, I think I will stop and get lunch before heading home.

Thanks for reading and have a wonderful day.

February 20, 2016 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night as my vacation comes to an end

Well I stayed at the Starbucks by my house for a couple hours before heading home to freshen up my makeup. It was about 5:20 when I got home to check my makeup. It had actually held up really well over the day. The only part that was showing wear after 8 hours was right around my mouth. and as I wanted to change lipstick color that was okay. I removed that part of my makeup and redid and it actually blended in with the rest of my makeup pretty easy. I went with a darker lipstick kind of a wine color.  I also darkened up my eye shadow a little for the evening. It really only took about 15 minutes and I looked good as new.

I got to Sweethome right at 6 and got 1 of their 3 parking spots which was nice. Chris and also Roxy were here already. I joined them and got out my computer and also ordered dinner as I had not eaten all day other than a cheese Danish at Starbucks. They had their New York Steak dinner tonight which is what I ordered. Laura texted me if I was going to Sweethome and when so I texted her back I already there. She was meeting someone at Embers at 8:30 but had time before then so she came down and joined us.

Laura got there and she was wearing her cute pink dress she bought today. I have gotten to know her pretty well over the last couple days shopping together. Well it turns out she became friends with a young lady at the Fred Meyer jewelry store when she was buying some earrings and she wanted to meet Laura and go out with her and maybe her friends. Well tonight her and her husband are meeting Laura at Embers. This is pretty cool and I am sure Laura will have fun. That is what is to me as Passing. Not that people believe you are a woman but they accept you and want to get to know you. I look forward to talking to her tomorrow and hearing how it went.

Well it started to get a little busy and of course soon Laura had to leave to meet her friends. It wasn’t long and by 9 the bar was busy as the other group got there for Karaoke. Mareinna and her girlfriend Dawni showed up They are two awesome people that I have met here and became friends with. I felt bad though as Dawni had finally talked one of her friends who is transgender into coming here last week and of course I was sick and didn’t make it. I hope she can convince them to come back again so they can meet me and our group. Angie was also here another one of the girls I have met here. It is amazing the people I have met and became friends with. I really have grown as Susan.  got a chance to talk with Angie and found out some things I didn’t know about her. I think that is why as Susan I like to talk so much as you get to know people better. The 2 afternoons I spent shopping with Laura we really didn’t do that much shopping but we really had a good conversation. We tend to hide so much of ourselves living two different lives that it can be hard to open up on either side. I am finding I am becoming more one of open as Susan though and that is a great thing. I have told people things about myself that I never thought I would tell them, things about my male side.

Rachel W. also was here, I met her first at the P-Club years ago and when we got kicked out of there she was the one that talked to Paul here at Sweethome and invited us to come here. She has always been supportive of our group so it was good to talk to her and let her know that the issue with the P-Club is done and he has no more appeals. We talked about this for a while.

Rachael Miller (no relation to me) also made it out. I have know her for many years as she was one of the first girls I met that I still have contact with. There have been so many girls I have met over the years and for one reason or another you lose contact with them and always wonder what happened to them. E-mail can help but I can be bad about e-mailing people. I still keep in touch with Alice by e-mail. She is my oldest friend I still have contact with, she really helped me make the first steps out as Susan and without her help I would probably still be at home. I have known her for maybe 15 years, and Rachael probably close to that.

It was good to see Rachael again and talk with her, she has gone through a lot over the last year and it is good she is getting out more. WE talked about shopping she hasn’t gone out as Rachael shopping yet so I told her if she wanted to go let me know as I would love to go with her. It is funny how you change over time. I use to love to dress at home and really never thought about going out. once I started going out I loved it and wanted to go out all the time but with that dressing at home no longer was something I wanted. If I dressed I wanted to go out even if it was just to Starbuck’s for a couple hours. Going out shopping is fun but the last  2 day it was so fun to have someone to shop with. I guess this is what is called growing in ones self. Now I am sure I will get at least one person asking if I am thinking about transitioning and the answer is still no. I do not want or need to change my body. I am talking about the emotional growth and changes. Susan is now as much a part of me as my male side, she has just as much of an impact on who I am. I realize in time she will probably become a bigger part of who I am and my male part may be a smaller part but again I am talking the emotional part of me, my outlook on life. The kinder, softer side that woman have. The physical part of me my body is what I am talking about.

Well soon it was just Rachael and me left from our group. A lady came up and asked to use Rachael’s phone to call hers as she had lost it. Rachael called it and no luck but one of the other girls here found it, Andrea. Now I have known her by name for a few years but never really talked to her but tonight we got into a little conversation about cell phones when she returned the other ladies phone to her. It was nice to chat with her and get to know a little about her. It is still something I have a hard time with starting a conversation wit someone I don’t know. Something I need to work on. It really was a fun night and before I knew it, it was after midnight. This is the latest I have stayed at Sweethome in a long time. I paid my bill and Rachael and I left.

I think I really didn’t want it to end as I know tomorrow I have to remove my red polish and go back to plain old hands, well I may try to keep my nails shaped just filed down so they are not so long. I really love having pretty nails. I am looking forward to my next Vacation in a couple weeks. not sure how much Susan time I will get but I am sure there will be some.

Thanks for reading.

February 20, 2016 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday the last official day of my vacation.

Wow it is hard to believe how fast this week has gone. Now I had no real plans for today other than I needed to go to Sears as I need to get a new garbage disposal so I hadn’t planned on being Susan till tonight. I got up and started thinking about it I thought I still have my pretty red nails I might as well go to Sears as Susan. I got all dressed and was on my way to Sears at Lloyd Center. I decided to text Laura and see if she had any plans. I figured if she didn’t maybe she would want to meet for some more shopping. I figured if she did I would spend the day as Susan instead of going home and replacing my garbage disposal. Laura tested me back she would meet me so it would be another girls day out.

I parked and went in and down to sears. It is fun to go shopping for clothes and makeup but it is also fun shopping for everyday things you need, doing the normal everyday type things as Susan. I got the disposal unit and took it out to my car as I really didn’t want to carry it around while we shopped. Now I just had to wait for Laura so I headed off to Barns and Noble to look around. kind of a fun place as you can brows around and do a little reading. Laura finally texted me she was there and then we had fun trying to find each other as they are doing a remodel here and things are really torn up. Well we finally found each other and started walking around. We started off at Ross Dress for Less and looked at clothes but didn’t find anything. It really was more about being out though.

Laura wanted to go to Torrid so that was our next stop. This is a cool store as I they cater to the larger girl. we looked around and found several cute dresses. while we were looking I a lady who it turns out is the wife of a co-worker. She doesn’t know me really well and I just tried to keep my back to her. funny as a few years back I would have been out of that store and probably left the mall but today I was going to keep shopping and just keep my back to her. Now Torrid is a small store so not a lot of room to move around in and a couple times we almost came face to face but I was determined to stay.

Laura found a dress she wanted to try on so I moved towards the front of the store and was looking at their jeans, I really need to find a nice pair of jeans but I can’t seem to find a woman’s jean that will fit. either to tight in the waist or way to lose in the hips. Seems I don’t have the proper hip to waist per portion. Well they had what they called Jeggings which are actually jeans made of the same material as leggings so they are stretchy and tight. I decided to try a pair on. well because of the material they fit really well. they were a little more than I wanted to spend but they were also a buy 1 get  half off.  picked out a second pair and tried it on and if fit just as well. So I bought 2 pairs and I can’t wait to wear them. Laura also bought the dress she tried on. The ladies here were wonderful and s helpful. it really was a great experience.

From here we walked down to ULTA as Laura wanted to get a lipstick to match her dress. We found Laura a really bright pink lipstick to match her dress. ULTA is a huge makeup store and have al kinds of makeup from drugstore brands to the higher end makeup. so if you are looking for makeup there is a good chance ULTA will have it. It has been a fun couple hours but it was now about 2 so we called it a day. I wanted to get home before traffic got to bad as I will need to freshen up before going to Sweethome tonight.

We walked towards where we parked as it turnd out we parked only a couple cars apart although I had texted Laura the entrence I parked by. We said our goodbyes and left it really is fun having a girlfriend to shop with I am glad Laura could make it as it was way more fun than going home and replacing my garbage disposal. that will be my project for Sunday. I got almost home and decided to stop at the Starbuck’s by my house as I have a little time before I need to freshen up and head out for the night.

So I am sitting here at the Starbuck’s doing my blog. it is funny as this will be my 801 st blog entry. Wow it is hard to believe I have had that many adventures as Susan, some big ones and some small ones but each and every one is important to me as it is a part of who I am, my online diary of Susan. 

Tomorrow I will have to go and get the red gel polish removed from my nails. By the way they look just as good today as they did when I got them done a week ago, no chis and just as shinny, the gel polish does hold up a lot batter but it does cost more. It will be sad to go back to just regular nails. Then tomorrow night will be at the Escape and that will be the last of my vacation time for Susan. Monday back to work and back to the limited time for Susan. I do have another Vacation coming up in a few weeks but not sure how much Susan time I will get on that Vacation. It has been a fun week thanks to all who read my blog and share my life with me.

February 19, 2016 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shopping trip with Laura Michaels

Well today I am going shopping with Laura Michaels. I have gone shopping many times as Susan but almost always alone so I am really looking forward to today. I got up and got all ready took extra care with my makeup, eyes didn’t turn out as I had hoped was going for a little less, New wigguess I still need work on my daytime look. I also decided to wear my new wig. I am still not sure of it but maybe just because it is a new style. Laura and I were meeting at Barns & Noble at 11 and as I was ready early I figured I would just get there early and go to the Starbucks and do my blog for last night.

I got there just before 10 and went in and got my drink and then sat down to do my blog. the lady at the next table told me how cute my shoes were. I had worn my pink and white tennis shoes today. Well I did my blog and soon it was almost 11 so  took my computer out t my car and then went in to meet Laura.

Laura was already there so we headed out into the mall. Shopping with someone else is way more fun several times we just stopped walking to talk a little. As we walked down the mall this man at a kiosk selling face creams called us over, he remembers me every time I am at the mall. Well he tried to sell Laura some of his creams and I was kind of funny as he did the same thing to me a couple years ago and talk about a hard sell. He started off at $400 and then started throwing in all these free gifts if she would buy it. by the end he was down to $189. The tip is never take their first offer. any way Laura finally convinced him she would think about while we shopped. I felt bad about it but was just glad it was her and not me.

We continued down the mall talking as we walked. now coming here today I really wanted to go into Victoria’s Secret and see if Erika the young lady who helped me yesterday was there. Well I wasn’t paying attention as we walked as I was really enjoying talking with Laura and soon we found ourselves in front of Victoria’s Secret and Laura wanted to go in. Erika was there and asked if we needed any help. I asked if she remembered me which she said she did and asked if I liked my bra. I told her I did, I really do by the way. It is the most comfortable bra I have ever worn. I have had it on now for 8 hours now and still feels like I am not wearing it, the material is so soft and the straps don’t dig in. I know it was expensive but I am seriously thinking about buying a couple more in different colors. I guess sometime it is worth the extra money.

Well Laura asked her a couple questions about bra’s and Erika offered to fit her also and soon Laura was off getting fitted and I was left to wonder around the store. Now as I was waiting I had a chance to just look around at all the styles and colors. This really is a wonderful store and it would be easy to spend a lot of money here. This kind of store is one reason I am glad I was not born a girl as I would have spent a lot of money here. I am not sure how long it took Laura I am guessing about 30 minutes. It did seem longer today than yesterday but then yesterday it was me having all the fun. Well It was worth it as Laura also made a purchase here today. So today it was Laura walking around with her Victoria’s Secret bag.

We continued down the mall talking the whole way. It is funny, being here with someone else you really don’t notice other people, or even how you are dressed you are just two friends out shopping. We got down by Nordstrom’s and stood there talking for a couple minutes before walking in.

Laura wanted to check out the cosmetic section well okay we both did but she also wanted to get color matched for foundation. we went to the MAC counter. I had told her about the Studio Fix foundation I wear as it has really good coverage which I need. One of the ladies was right out to see if we needed any help. This is so nice as we were treated like any other woman there both here and at Victoria’s Secret. I wish I could remember the young ladies name that helped us but she was wonderful. She tried maybe 9 different shades till she found the right one. I am sure Laura was enjoying it and actually so was I.

Once she found the right shade she asked if there was anything else she needed or any questions. Laura asked about eye makeup and before we knew it she was doing her eyes then blush, she actually by the time she was done had given Laura a complete makeover and redid all her makeup. now while this was going on the lady who had helped me on Monday saw me and came over and talked to me. as a matter of fact she came over several times to talk to me and see how we were doing. The ladies who work here at the MAC counter at Nordstrom’s are awesome. She did all this work and it was never a hard sale or even a push for her to buy anything.

when she was all done she asked if Laura was interested in any of the products she had used. She explained what each one was for and how to use it I even learned a few things just watching. Of course Laura did buy some of the makeup but the amount is between her and her MAC makeup artist. Now even I bought something also a primer to try as she said it would help the makeup look smoother. So we both left Nordstrom’s with a MAC bag. it was now about 2 pm we had been in Nordstrom’s for well over an hour, wow how time flies when you are having fun.

We went to the second floor and worked our way back till we got to the food court and decided to get something to eat. WE had a nice lunch and just sat there and talked. it was really nice to get to know her better. It is fun to go out with the group but these little one on one outings are awesome as they really let you get to know the other person. so much of our lives we keep secret but you really do find out who they are even without knowing everything. This really doesn’t make since unless you have gone through it. I may not know the details of who they are but I learn who the person is what makes them who they are if that makes sense. It was funny as we were talking about so many things but a lady at the next table heard part of our conversation and said she didn’t mean to be eavesdropping but she had heard part of what we said and agreed and for the next 5 minutes or so we had a nice conversation with her.

It was now after 3 when we finished and we decided we should leave as we were both going to get caught in traffic. We walked back to Barns & Shopping at Clackamas Town Center (1)Noble talking. We were almost there when I notice a girl taking a picture of her friend and I thought wow I need a picture so I had Laura take a couple pictures of me. and of course I took a couple of her and sent them to her. Of course you can see my MACShopping at Clackamas Town Center (2) bag in my hand. It really was a fun day and I so enjoyed having Laura to shop with. We said our goodbyes and were on our way.

Traffic wasn’t as bad as I thought and I was home by 4 well almost. I decided to stop once again at the Starbuck’s by my house for a warm drink and to write this blog. It has been such a fun day and I just don’t want to see it come to and end. it is hard to believe it is Thursday already and my vacation is almost over. I am not sure what I will do tomorrow but I will defiantly be out tomorrow night.

Thanks for reading and I hope you al have as good of a day as I did.

February 18, 2016 Posted by | Nordstrom's, shopping, victoria's secret | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday evening out to meet with our attorney

Well I was really looking forward to tonight, although I actually had a fun day today as my male self as I did something I have always wanted to do tonight I was going to be Susan and we were meeting with our attorney Sue-Del at 7. I really wanted to be there early so I could eat before she got there to talk with us. I got all dressed and ready and was on my way by 5:30 so I got to Fox & Hound right at 6. Cassandra, Victoria, Chris, and Roxy were already there. It wasn’t long and others started showing up and by 7 almost everyone involved in the law suit was there, Jennifer, Jan, Lynn, Kelly, Wilma, Cristine, the only one who couldn’t make it was Amy as she doesn’t live in the area and just couldn’t make it down. We also had a couple more girls from the group Laura m. and Joan so it was a good turnout for a Wednesday night.

Sue-Del showed up at 7 and it was so nice to see here again. this has been a slow process as it was almost 4 years ago when we were excluded from the P-Club and this May will be 3 years since we all testified in the BOLI hearing. The last time I actually saw Sue-Del was in November of 2013 when her and Brad Avakian came out to celebrate with us after the first verdict in our favor, so it has been a long time. Sue-Del greeted each of us with a hug and got every one of our names right how awesome is that.

Well she went over what has happened and where we go from here and of course we all had questions. I won’t boar you with the details but the main part is he has used up all his appeals and lost every one of them so we won and there is nothing more he can do. This is hug as it set a precedent in the state of Oregon that you can not discriminate against anyone based on gender identity. now as for the judgment against him they search his records and he has no assets in his name at this time which really is not a surprise but what we found out is they are garnishing any money he gets and have been able to collect a little bit and will start distributing it as they get it. It will take years probably to collect the money and they may never get all of it. What they have so far doesn’t even cover the interest on half a year, yes we also found out that there is interest being charged to him on what he owes and that will also go to us. now as I have said before it was never about money and I really don’t think I will see all of what I was awarded but I do feel bad for Sue-Del as she did all this work with no guaranty we would win anything only the promise of a % of what we got and now she will get it in small amounts over probably many years if she ever get all of it and she put a lot of time and work into this for us. I can’t thank her enough as she was awesome and really helped me get through it. Testifying was a hard thing to do when you live a secret life.

It was a fun and informative evening, I only got to talk with Wilma briefly but it was good to see her after so long as she doesn’t get out much. wish I could of talked with her more but Laura and I got into a good conversation and soon we were the only 2 still there. we talked till almost midnight. we are actually getting together tomorrow and were going to figure out what we wanted to do but we talked about everything but that. So at almost midnight we decided to meet at Clackamas Town Center at 11 and do a little shopping.

It was a wonderful evening and brings a lot of closer to a really hard thing we all went through. I really want to thanks Sue-Del, Beth Allen who was our first attorney, She had to turn the case over to Sue-Del when she was appointed as a judge. she did a lot of work for us also but because she is judge now she can not receive anything. and of course Brad Avakian the head of BOLI and his wonderful staff. they were all so supportive of us. thank you all.

February 18, 2016 Posted by | Fox & Hound, P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Okay a little different post than normal

Okay I normally don’t write blogs about my male side but today I am making an exception. This is my vacation week and I planned on spending it all as Susan the reason I got my nails done. Well I had something I had to do today that I really didn’t think I could or should do as Susan since 2 of the people who work there I know in my male life, of course I was not about to remove the gel polish on my nails. I figured I could hide the nails most of the time. Well I got there at 10 and took care of what I needed and the only time my nails were visible was when I paid with my credit card. funny thing is the 2 people I know I never saw so I probably could have done it as Susan. well the only reason I mention this is I was down by Clackamas Town Center where I have spent the last 2 days as Susan. I decided to go there again not sure why.

Well I was walking down the mall and as I walked by Victoria’s Secret I thought about all the times I had gone in here as Susan and never as my male self so I decided today was the day. I don’t know why this store is so intimidating for my male side. I walked in and started to look around. I had only been in there a couple minutes and this nice young lady came up and asked if I needed any help. I turned and it was the same lady I had talked to briefly on Monday and I got that scared feeling and told her I was just looking and she said let her know if I needed anything and walked off, she must not have recognized me. I only looked for a couple minutes and then left.

Well across the mall is a place called PINK which turns out is also part of Victoria’s Secret. Well I walked in there to look around. I was looking at a table of Bra’s when a young lady came up and asked if I needed help finding a bra. I told her I was just looking and she asked if I knew what size I was looking for. I told her not really and then she asked that age old question is this for you or someone else, my mind raced but she continued right on by saying if it is for you I would be happy to fit you for a bra. Now I will admit this is something I have always wanted to do but as Susan I figured with my breast forms and hair and everything it would be way to difficult and as my male self I never had the courage to go in and ask. Now I did tell her it was for me and was about to accept her offer to fit me and she spoke right up and told me to follow her and she would take some measurements and then get me fitted. She asked me my name which I gave her my first name and she acted like it was the most normal thing for me to be buying a bra.

we went into one of the dressing rooms and she took her measurement and said I was a 38b but there bra’s here only went to 36. I was a little disappointed but she said she wanted to try me in a 36 just to see and she would be right back. A couple minutes later she was back with 4 different styles of bra’s for me to try. She told me to try each one and when I found one I liked push the button and she would come back and check the fit. I tried on 3 of them as one I just didn’t like the look or feel. I was just about to push the button when she knocked on the door to see how I was doing. I opened it and she checked out the fit. now this was a little intimidating to say the least but she was very professional about it. She told me it was just a little to tight and I may need a C cup. I put my shirt back on and came out of the little dressing room. She handed me a card with my name on it and below it, it said bra size 38c. it was fun and I was happy as I had done something I had always wanted to do. She then told me that Victoria’s Secret across the mall had sizes up to 40 and she had radioed over about me and they were expecting me. I thanked her and left.

Now what to do, I figured I had come this far so I walked over and started to walk in and the same lady I saw earlier said hi I see you are back. I was getting ready to say something when another lady came over and said hi you must be and called me by my name. I said yes. She said they just called from across the mall and I was looking for a bra. The first lady whom I have already talked to twice now said she could help me and introduced herself as Erika. She asked me by name to follow her to the fitting room, I gave her the card the other lady gave me so she got me what she called a fitting bra in 38C and I tried it on and she checked the fit. She agreed that a 38C was my size and then she said she would be back with a couple bras for me to try.

It was only a few minutes and she came back wit 7 different bra’s for me to try. she said when  found the ones I liked  to push the button. Now 1 of the 7 I didn’t like just from the look and feel but I tried on the other 6, twice she came back and asked how I was doing and I said fine. There were 3 I really liked but one the straps were just to thin and not comfortable so I tried on the same 2 again and picked the one I liked. I pushed the button and soon Erika was there and she checked the fit to make sure it was right. She said it was a perfect fit. I took it off and got dressed and went out. she handed me a card with my name on it, her name on it, my size and the style of the bra. Then she asked it I would like to look at the different colors. She led me over to where they were and showed me all the colors still really no pressure for me to buy one. I asked about red and she said they had sold out of them for Valentines day. Well they had a really pretty maroon one so I picked that one to buy. Erika thanked me and told me to come back anytime. I went and paid for the bra $50 a little more than I would normally spend but than with all the help they gave me and the fun I had it was worth it. So now I had my little Victoria’s Secret bag and I was on my way.

As I walked by the first place I saw the first lady that helped me so I stepped in to thank her. She saw I had a bag and told me she was happy they could help me. Then she asked if she could see what I got. I pulled the bra out and she told me how pretty it was and she was sure I would be happy with it. I will say these ladies here were awesome and very professional about the whole thing. Didn’t matter I was male just that I got the proper size and fit. It was a fun time.

now the funny thing is all these years wondering about my bra size and if it was right. turns out it was as the bras I have always bought are 38C, I guess I had it right all the time.

So this was my little adventure as my male self.

February 17, 2016 Posted by | shopping, victoria's secret | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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