Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Monday and some Susan time

Well, it is Monday and I get to spend some time as Susan. for almost 10 years till the Pandemic hit we had been doing a weekly Wednesday night dinner out at different restaurants. Well, that came to a stop a little over a year ago and as such we started doing weekly Zoom meetings which I really think helped but I just replaced the dinners with a Wednesday night zoom meeting. Now with people being vaccinated and things hopefully opening we want to get back to Wednesday night dinners so I am trying to switch our zoom meetings to Monday nights so for the next month or so I am going to do zoom meeting on both Mondays and Wednesdays in hopes of making the transition smoother. Now I was not sure how many would sign on but either way I will have some Susan time at home.

I took my time getting ready as that is one thing I really look forward to. I took my tine and tonight I went with a white fluffy sweater, it is a cute top and yes this is one of the items I got out of the bags of clothes our group passed around from Nicole to me, to Jennifer and on to others in our group. I was all ready by 6pm so I had time to get some pictures and call and talk to my mom for a while.

It was just before 7 when I signed on and started the meeting. Now it was just waiting to see who joined. It was about 10 minutes after 7 when Danielle signed on so there would be at least 2 of us tonight. We talked a while and I did see one other person sign on but no video or sound and after about 1 minute they were gone so not sure what happened. Well Danielle and I had a nice conversation and git a good chance to talk and het to know each other better. Now I really do like when we have big groups but also nice in smaller ones as it is easier to talk.

We talked for a little over an hour and had a nice time. It was about 8:20pm when we ended the meeting. Now I checked my e-mails and I probably should have checked it earlier as a few girls had posted they couldn’t get in. well I checked my e-mail and I had the link right, the passcode correct but when I pasted the meeting ID I left off the first number. I really felt bad as we could have had 3 more. It was a fun night. I spent the rest of the night watching TV as Susan although I did double check the information for our Wednesday night meeting and that was correct.

Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights Zoom meeting. Stay safe and be happy with yourself. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 28, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , | Leave a comment

Some Susan time on Saturday.

It is Saturday and I get to spend a little time as Susan, it has been a long week and I really need some relaxing time. I slept in Saturday morning and then did go over and see my mom for a little bit to check on her so I didn’t get home till a little after noon. I started getting ready to spend the rest of the day as Susan. I took my time and enjoyed getting ready. I was all ready for my day a little before 2pm.

Now I had the rest of the day and I really didn’t want to just sit at the house for the day. The weather today is a chance of rain and high’s only in the mid to upper 50’s but right now it looked nice out with some sunshine so I figured I would go do my weekly shopping but take a drive down by the river and if it was still nice out take a little walk. Now of course I had parked in my driveway so I just walked out the front door to my car but didn’t see anyone.

I got down by the waterfront and parked and there were some people out walking but I think the weather may have kept some away but still a good crowd. The weather was still nice so I decided to take a walk. Now this is the one thing that is hard about being Susan, almost all my Susan clothes have no pockets as Susan carries a purse but going out for a walk like this you don’t see other woman caring purses and I do need my cell phone and keys, luckily being a little cooler today I did have a light jacket which had pockets but something to think about for this summer. I walked almost to the far end but it was getting a little windy and I could see some clouds moving in so I decided to head back to the car in case it started raining. It was only about a 40-minute walk but Susan got a little exercise.

I got in my car and headed for Fred Meyers to do my shopping. I parked and went in and got my cart and started my weekly shopping. I know this may sound boring but there is just something about doing normal everyday things as Susan. for years Susan was this huge secret part of my life and really was something that was for lack of a better word not a normal part of me. Even when I first started going out Susan was something that I could only let out in certain places and times. Being able to incorporate Susan into my everyday life is wonderful. Now again I am not planning on coming out to everyone but I am no longer hiding her in the closet and that is wonderful. I did my shopping and it only took about 20 or 30 minutes and then I was ready to leave and yes it was raining by now, not hard but still I did hurry to get to my car the best I could and still be Susan, yes, my male self would have just run to the car but Susan just walked a little faster.

I got home and parked in my driveway. I got out and carried my stuff inside and put it away. Yes, this is one of the bigger changes as a few years ago I would never have parked in my driveway it was always in my car and I would not open the door before I was in the car and would close it before I got out of the car for fear one of my neighbors might see me. I sat down to watch some TV till about 5:30 and then it was time for dinner and yes, I was going to go get something so I grabbed my purse and walked out the front door and walked to my car and again didn’t see any of my neighbors.

I went to Panda Express and walked in to get my dinner, there were only 2 other people here, one ordering and one paying so it didn’t take long to place my order. I got my usual and paid and by now a couple more people had come in behind me. I got in my car and yes, I had to get a picture in my car I drove home and parked in the garage this time as I won’t be going any place till tomorrow now.

I went in and had a nice dinner as I watched some TV. It was a very normal day and really, I could have been my male self just as easy and nothing would have changed other then my mood. Now again on my feelings on this I have no plans to transition of go full time but I will admit I am happier as Susan; I smile way more and it is just a peaceful calming feeling when I am her but for me it is because I kept her hidden all those years. It is like when you have a really big secret and it can be about anything, the stress you feel from hiding it effects your whole life, once you let it out the weight is gone and you just feel better and again for me and only me, I am not talking about coming out to people. I am talking about incorporating Susan into my everyday normal life and if people see me or figure it out so be it and that makes my time as Susan 1,000 % better. Susan has come a long way in the last 10+ years and I owe most of it to my wonderful friends I have made who really are more like family.

The rest of the night was just a quiet night at home relaxing in front of the TV. Now I did stay up till after midnight as I slept in too late this morning and wasn’t tired and I will say my makeup held up really well for the almost 12 hours I had it on. About the only place it looked a little worn was on my upper lip, that is usually where I have the most trouble. I washed away Susan for the night as I look forward to Monday as I will be Susan for a few hours that evening as I hope some girls will sign into my Zoom meeting, I will have that night but if not, I will still have a nice evening as Susan.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.


April 28, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night zoom meeting with friends.

Well, another Wednesday night and again I get to spend some time with my friends online. I got home from work and took my time getting ready. It is so relaxing doing my makeup and transforming myself to Susan. I was all ready by 6 so I had time to get some pictures and call and talk to my mom. Now I just watched TV as I waited for our meeting to start.

It was a few minutes before 7 when I started the meeting and some ladies were already waiting. In all we had 13 ladies in 12 windows tonight. Jennifer, Nicole, Melissa, Barb, Julie, Danielle, Jeanie, Jane, Jan & Lynn, Tori, Kea and me. Now we spent a little time just talking and catching up on what is knew in our lives. it was great to see Jane again as last week was her first time and she has only been fully dressing a couple weeks. We also talked a little about our dinner a few of us had on Saturday night at Kyoto Steakhouse for Jeanie and Amy’s birthday. We also talked about our Zoom meetings and I want to change them from Wednesday to Monday so we can try and start doing our Wednesday night dinners again maybe by the end of May. I told them I am going to start doing zoom meetings on Monday’s and Wednesdays for a while to help the switch over go well. Now this also gives me another night to be Susan so even if no one else joins the Zoom meeting I will have a quiet evening at home watching TV and playing on my computer. I have always scheduled the meetings and will e-mail it out on Friday night

We talked a little more before we got to Jennifer’s question of the week. This week’s question was a good one and it was what is one thing on our feminine side that we feel we do a good job on or feel good about and 1 thing we feel we struggle with or can improve on. Now it was interesting to hear what we all thought and in this we had a wide range of answers as we all have our own things, we are worried about or want to improve on.

Now when it was my turn. Now for me one think I think I do well at is my makeup, I have spent a lot of time practicing my makeup and watching video. Now I am not saying I am perfect with it and I can always improve but I am happy with where I am. Now the one thing I really struggle with or feel I don’t do well is when I try to pose for a full body picture to show off my outfit. I just don’t feel comfortable and feel like I am stiff. I watch how others pose and have even watched videos on how to stand and hold your arms and I just still don’t loke the looks of those pictures. Every once in a while, I can get one that is okay but never one I feels is really good. Now I know we all tend to be harder on ourselves and maybe. I know I feel if I run into someone, I know they will recognize me immediately and that really is not the case. We let our own fears and insecurities get the better of us and it is hard to overcome.

We had a great time and enjoyed good conversation. It was a little before 9 when some if the girls signed off and by a little after 9 it was down to just Julie and me so we talked for a little while longer. Julie will be coming back from down south the first part of May for the summer and I am really looking forward t see her again. It will be so much fun to get together with her. It was about 9:20 when we called it a night and signed off.

Now I am looking forward to Saturday and some more Susan time.

Stay safe and be happy with yourself.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 26, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night dinner at Kyoto Steakhouse.

Now it is Saturday evening and I get to go out to dinner with some of my friends, actually tonight Jeanie set up dinner to celebrate her birthday which is today and Amy her significant other who had her birthday a few days ago and she invited us to join them at Kyoto Steakhouse. Now Jeanie and I have both been here when our group came here last October. Now I had an interesting morning as Susan so I was really looking forward to tonight.

Now I have been thinking about tonight and what to wear and how to do my makeup all week, yes, I put a lot of thought into tonight. This is one of the things I like abut being Susan as on my male side I never would have put this much effort into it. I actually started getting ready at 4pm for a 7pm Dinner, now yes, I was hoping to be there between 6:45 and 7 but still that gave me a full 2 hours to get ready and I enjoyed every minute of it. now when I started getting ready, I knew how I wanted my makeup to look what shades I was going to us and yes, I knew the dress I would wear and the heals to go with it. The 2 hours I spent getting ready was so enjoyable and relaxing and I was happy with the end result.

It was a little after 6 when I was already so I took a little time and got a few pictures before leaving. Now of you read my blog you know I was out this morning and had parked in my driveway so I just walked out to my car and yes, the couple across the street was working in their yard but don’t think they noticed me. This is something I would have never done years ago. The drive to Kyoto Steakhouse only took about 20 minutes so I got there right about 6:30 and parked. Now I did get a few pictures in the car. Now there were a lot of people waiting outside as it was a really nice day but I also noticed they were all dressed really casual, jeans or shorts so I would really stand out as I had a really pretty dress and heels on. I was actually re-thinking my outfit but I was really hoping some of the other girls would be wearing dresses.

I got out of my car and walked in, I had to walk by a group of 3 woman and 3 men waiting outside and yes, I looked way better then all of them, I guess people to night just didn’t want to dress up. I got inside and Amy and Jeanie were already there and yes, they both had dresses on. They had got us on the list as they are not doing reservations but they won’t seat us till our whole group shows up although they were not as busy as the last time, we came so it shouldn’t be an issue. We sat and talked as we waited for Jennifer and her wife and Han and Lynn to show up.

It was a little before 7 when Jennifer and her wife arrived and yes, they both wore dresses. We all talked a little and I had Jennifer get a couple pictures of me in my dress and I got a few of her. it was right at 7 when Jan and Lynn arrived and yes, they also had dresses on so we were the best-looking group here. We were shown to out table.

Now if you have every been here the table is sided with a grill in the middle where they cook your food, so it is 3 on one side, then 4 and 3 the other side. Well Jennifer and her wife and I sat on the one side, Amy, Jeanie, Lynn & Jan straight across from the chef which left the 3 seats across open but not for long. A young couple, well younger than us probably in their late 30’s or early 40’s sat down. Now the man seemed to really pay no attention to us but the woman with him I could tell was fascinated by us as she kept looking at me well us and smiling. Now there did seem to be something familiar about her but I am guessing that was just because she kept looking at us, you know how your mind can pay tricks on you.

They took our orders and yes, I went for Hibachi Filet Mignon & Shrimp, a few of the girls also went for this. Now we sat and talked as they got or food ready to bring out to the table to cook. Now we were having a wonderful time and the lady across from us would occasionally talk to us, even the man with her seemed to be enjoying himself and wasn’t bothered by us.

Our food came out and our chef came to our table and started cooking the food, now yes, it is a little more expensive to eat this way but it is so fun to see your food prepared right in front of you. It is a really entertaining way to eat and I would recommend Kyoto Steakhouse. We had an awesome dinner and it was so much fun to help Celebrate Jeanie and Amy’s birthday with them. Now I did get a few selfies at the table with Jennifer and even got 1 of us with her wife but that one is just for us. We sat and just talked till after 9 before we called it a night. it was such a fun night. We all paid out bills and then we walked outside and talked just a little more as I think we all didn’t want to see the night come to an end.

Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights zoom meeting with my friends.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 24, 2021 Posted by | Dinner out, friends | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saturday and an unexpected change to my day.

Well before I get to today’s blog here are a few pictures of Jennifer and my beautiful feet after our pedicures yesterday, Jennifer’s is the first, the one in the upper left corner and the other 2 are mine, so pretty.

Well on with todays blog and my plan was one blog for the whole day but things change and unexpected things come up. Now the early part of my day was simply getting up at 8 and get ready as Susan with a nice daytime look and then around 4 really clean up and do a full makeup for our dinner out for Jeanie and Amy’s birthday. Early in the day my plan was my 9am zoom work meeting, yes, I have done these as Susan just kept my video off. After my meeting run and get sone gas for my lawn mower and come home, get my computer and go to Starbucks for an hour or 2 then come home and change into my male clothes and go out and mow my lawn with my makeup on. Now I did a subtle makeup smokey brown eye shadow and a rose-colored lipstick and my brows. It actually looked really cute and up close really pretty but from about 20 feet away it wasn’t that noticeable except for my eyebrows. Well, I was already right at 9 just in time to sign onto my Zoom meeting. I always wonder what they would think if they could see me. Now during my meeting my mom called and she needs a few things so that also means a trip to Walmart.

It was a little after 10 when my meeting ended and it is a beautiful day out and was supposed to be in the low 80’s today so I wanted to go get what my mom needs and my gas and try to be to Starbucks before noon that way I can be home by 2 and mow my yard and then start getting ready for tonight’s dinner. I grabbed my purse and was on my way to the Walmart on Mill Plain. I parked and went I, now my mom only needed a few things so I didn’t get a cart. Now as I said plans change and unexpected things come up and that can sometimes mean new experiences for Susan. I got put to my car and started backing out to come home and I knew something was wrong right away and I knew what it was. I pulled back into the parking spot and got out and yes, I was correct. My front passenger tire was flat. Now I have changed tires before but this is a first for Susan.

I got my spare out of the trunk and also my jack and started to change it. Now as I worked, I wondered what could happen. What if a man walking by saw me from the back and came up and offered to change it for me? Would this change once he saw me from the front and realized I was transgender. Well, none of this happened as it only took me less then 10 minutes to change my tire but now what as I need to get my tire repaired. Now what to do. It is a new car so I decided to get it fixed as there is a Les Schwab tire center about a mile away on Mill Plain. I got there and parked and went in. they were kind of busy as it is a Saturday morning so I had to stand in line. Soon it was my turn and the lady at the counter asked for my phone number which I gave her and she read my male name off and I said yes and we updated the information to my new car. She asked if I was waiting which I really had no choice so I said yes and she said it would be about 1 ¾ hours as there were 6 people a head of me. Now they had 9 chairs set up in kind of a circle so you were kind of facing each other and there was only one open by the wall so I couldn’t see the TV so I would just sit there so I told her I would be back in about an hour or so as there is a Fred Meyers less than a half mile away. I did use the bathroom first and wash my hands and arms to get the dirt and grease off and I did have some smudges on my face but luckily, they were the lower part of my face and the face mask covered it as I really had no way to clean that up as if I washed it off it would also remove the makeup. As Susan I do not like to get dirty so there would be no pictures till, I can redo my makeup tonight for dinner.

Now it is a bright sunny day and right now low 70’s but with the sun beating down and being on pavement it was really warm so about hale way to Fred Meyers I saw a Jimmy Johns and decided to sop and get some lunch. Now there were only a few people here and I was the only one to sit at a table and eat but it did use up some time. I left here and walked the rest of the way to Fred Meyers and went in. Now I was just killing time so I just looked around, checked out some of the clothes and yes browsed the makeup section. Now it had been a little over an hour sense I dropped my car off so I decided to walk back and wait in case they finished earlier.

Now I walked slowly back as it was warm in the sun. I was almost to Les Schwab when they called me turns out my tire needed to be replaced which I kind of thought it might as when I changed it, I didn’t see anything in it and the sides of it looked damaged so it is possible as I drove into Walmart it may have been flat and I just didn’t notice it. Anyway, when I got back the lady called the man out to talk to me and he treated me like any other person. He gave me 3 options and yes, I did go with the lowest as it was a 50,000-mile tire and with the milage on my car I will probably need to replace my tires in 50,000 to 60,000 miles and that way I can replace all at the same time.

Now as he went back to work on my car I went and sat down now there were only 3 other people waiting and they were all female so we all just sat there looking at our cell phones. Now it only took him about 15 minutes. Now all they has was my male name as they didn’t ask if I wanted to be addressed differently and I didn’t think to tell them Susan so I was waiting for them to call my male name as that is how they do it when a car is ready, they come out and call your name. Well, this young man came back and instead of calling my name he walked over to me and said, Miss your car is ready if you want to come up to the counter and pay which really made me feel good and I give him a job well done. We talked a little as he had noticed this was the same car as my last a Toyota Corolla and he commented about that and I told him it was actually my 3rd one as I really do like this brand of car, I have a long commute every day to work and I get about 37 miles to the gallon. Well, it turn out he had just bought one earlier in the week. It was a really nice experience.

I drove home and I did stop and get gas but I was not going to Starbucks today and I just didn’t feel like mowing my lawn so I am just going to relax in my house and watch a little TV and work on this blog. Ad will start getting ready for dinner at 4pm.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 17, 2021 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Susan Time | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday and a wonderful day Jennifer and I got pedicures

Well, it is Friday and I have the day off and that means some Susan time. So having 2 days of being Susan when I got home Thursday night, I decided to paint my nails a nice bright red. It was so relaxing to paint my nails and I wish I could have pretty nails all the time. Now Thursday night Jennifer texted me and she wanted to get a pedicure Friday and wanted to know if I wanted to join her and a bet anyone who follows my blog knows what my answer was so I texted her back and said yes.

Now I got up Friday morning and Jennifer and I texted back and forth about where we should go and Jennifer said I should pick one I have gone to and she would drive to Vancouver so that was our plan. Now I had to pick a place and of course 2 came to mind, Dream nails by my house and Julie’s Nails in Orchards. I like both and both do a wonderful job. Now I have not been to Dream nails in a while I think the last time was the Summer of 2018 and I had been going there every 3 weeks for a couple years so I wondered after that long how it would be. Dream nails only knows me as Susan. Julies nails I have gone there maybe 8 to 10 times in the last 1 ½ years but always as my male self so it would be different going there as my female self but this really fascinated me as I wondered if they would recognize me. Well Julie’s mails was the one I picked as I really wanted to see if they figured out who I was so I called them and the number went right to voice mail and it was a male’s voice so I hung up.

I did need to run to the store so I went there as my male self this morning as I wanted to see if I could do it with my painted nails. I only picked up a few things and no issues and was on my way home so I called Julie’s nails again and it was the same thing went to voice mail and was a man’s voice just giving his name and no mention of Julie’s nails so I didn’t want to leave a voice mail and so I called Dream nails and was able to get Jennifer and me an appointment at 2 pm so I texted Jennifer the address so she could find it.

Now it was a little after 11 and I was trying to plan my timing to get there and then it hit me, I could get ready and go to Starbucks for a while till it was time for our appointment so I started getting ready. I was all ready by 12:30 so I got a few pictures and grabbed my purse and drove to the Starbucks by my house. Now both these places are within a half mile of my house. I got to Starbucks and there were several groups of people sitting outside at the tables but there was still 2 open so I parked and went in with my computer and got a drink and went and sat outside as it was a beautiful day out. I did text Jennifer in case she got here early but she was driving and didn’t get my text. While here I wrote my blog from Wednesday’s Zoom meeting. It was almost perfect timing as I finished my blog and posted it at 1:45 and then put my computer away and walked out to my car and drove over to Dream nails and got there at 1:52 and went in.

Jennifer was there as she had arrived just a few minutes before me. Now as I walked in several of the ladies there remembered me and said it was nice to see me again. Kathy one of the nail techs commented on my eyebrows and thought I had gotten micropigmentation which made me feel good as it means I did a good job on my brows. Now they were busy so we did have to wait just a little so Jennifer and I talked as we picked out our color. We were seated about 2:10 and I was so looking forward to this. I love getting pedicures but it turns out this was Jennifer’s first pedicure. We both got the deluxe pedicure. Now Jennifer had a couple bad toenails and talked with Anna about what she could do. Amma said she could put a little acrylic on it and shape it so she trimmed it way back and did some acrylic in them and it turned out wonderful. It was so much more fun to go get a pedicure with someone else and also fun as it was Jennifer’s time. we had a wonderful time and both got a red color although Jennifer’s was a little darker than mine. In all we were here a little over an hour. Jennifer liked the experience and said ger toenails looked better than she ever imagined and wished she had known they could have done this earlier. I will admit both our toenails looked awesome. Now I may cause issues with this but I really think very few feet look good without pretty nails as toenails generally don’t look good on their own. Now as we paid our bills Anna said she hoped I would be back and I probably will. I would highly recommend Dream nails.

Now it was about 3:20 when we left and Jennifer asked if I wanted to get something to eat, now I live in what I call fast food area as that is pretty much all around here so we decided on IHOP by Vancouver mall. Now I have gone here probably 5 times over the last year but it has been several months. We took my car as I have to come right back by Dream nails on my way home and can drop Jennifer off t her car. We got to IHOP at 3:45 and went in. they were not really busy bit it was still early. We talked for a bit till our waitress came over, her name was Jess and she asked if I was having the grilled chicken breast, yes, she remembered me and what I like. Well, we ordered and yes, I did get my usual. We had a nice dinner and talked for a while after we finished. It was such a wonderful afternoon. It was about 5 when we left and headed back to Dream nails so Jennifer could pick her car up and go home. As we were so close, I did drive past my house t show it to Jennifer. I dropped Jennifer off and we went our separate ways. Thanks, Jennifer, for joining me today I hope you enjoyed your pedicure.

I went hone and spent the rest of the evening at home watching TV and working on this blog. It was a wonderful day and now I am looking forward to tomorrow and some Susan tome and going out to dinner.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 17, 2021 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday night zoom meeting

It is another Wednesday night and that means I get to visit with my friends on a video chat for a few hours. I look forward to this all week as it has been the only way I can see and spend time with my friends although we are hoping to start having our Wednesday night dinners next month and move these zoom meetings to Monday nights as we want to keep both going. I am thinking next week of maybe doing a zoom meeting on Monday as well as Wednesday and see if I can get the girls to start switching over or maybe do both for a few weeks. Any way I got home a little later then normal so it would be more of a rush. I do have time to enjoy my doing my makeup but on nights like these I usually call and talk to my mom as I am doing, she does not know but in a way, it is like being her daughter and sharing it with her at least on my part.

I was all ready about 6:45 so I did have time to get a few pictures before starting out zoom meeting. I started it a few minutes before and as always ladies were waiting. We had 14 of us tonight, Jenifer, Nicole, Melissa, Cindi, Danielle, Danika, Jan & Lynn, Jeanie, Kitty, Maille, Trish, Jane and me so it was a good turnout. now it was also special as it was Jane’s first time joining us, she joined our group this week. It was great to get to talk with her and get to know her. she is a little older than I am and she just started dressing. Last Saturday she went to Victoria’s Over the Rainbow transformations and had her first makeover and found out about our group I am guessing from Victoria so tonight is her second time dressing and she joined us how cool is that? Well as usually we all wanted to know a little about her and we also all took turns telling her a little about ourselves as that is only fair. She seemed really comfortable for her first time even though it was just on video chat.

We all talked for a while and just caught up and got on the topic of going out which as I said we are hoping to start back up soon. A few of the girls talked about Esprit and how much it helped them. I have never gone because by the time I found out about it I was already going out; really wish I had known about this when I was younger. We also got on the topic of flying while we are our feminine selves and many of the girls have done this with no problems. It is something I have always wanted to do and I will actually get my chance next month as I am riding down to Las Vegas with Cassandra and Peggy but I can’t stay as long as they will be there so I will fly back to Portland on May 14 and I am really looking forward to it. I should get into Portland around 4 and then will have to get an Uber out to Cassandra’s house to pick up my car and then drive home. It will be another first for me as Susan.

We talked a little more and then it was time for Jennifer’s question of the night and it was about our first time going out and really interacting with people. Now we have had a question about our first time going out before and how it happened and mine was a struggle. But this was more about how we felt while we were out and how we felt the next day after it. Now of course we all had to tell a little about our first time but when we got to how we felt it was interesting as a lot of us had a very similar experience. We vividly remember where we were and the key people that were there and the feelings we had while we were out but a lot of the details are not there. I remember the place I was, Embers, the lady who helped me so much Lori, and all the places we went that night as she took me around to several places, I could go but the details of those places are a blur. We also remember the excitement, fear, and the feeling we did it. and the feeling of accomplishment and the wonderful feelings it gave us and that was how we all felt the next day or maybe several days after. Mellissa was telling about her first time and she had a lot more details and it turns out it was one of our group’s outings to Harvey’s Comedy club back on the first Saturday of June in 2016. It turns out it was one I was in charge of and Melissa remembered that and exchanging e-mails with me about going, yes I had to look back in my blog and find that Harvey’s night. Now what is amazing is Melissa went from her first time out that night to coming out to her family and work more than a year ago and a little over a year ago went full time as her true self, a little less than 4 years.

We had a wonderful time talking and Jennifer was not able to dress tonight as her and her wife are on vacation visiting family, they know about Jennifer but have never met her and she didn’t take any of her Jennifer things with her. But it turns out one of her kids and spouses mentioned to her that they felt they were ready to meet Jennifer and maybe next time she brings Jennifer with them which is awesome. Now I know not all family and friends are accepting but so far Jennifer has had nothing but positive experiences which is wonderful and give hope to us all.

Well, it was about 8:45 when girls started to sign off which is earlier then the last several weeks and by a little after 9 the last of the girl had signed off, it was sad to see the evening end but I will look forward to my next tome as Susan which this week will be Friday as I have the day off. Jennifer gets back in town Thursday so she and I might get together and do something. Of course I will also have my Saturday afternoon and evening and yes Saturday evening Jeanie and Amy are celebrating their birthdays and going out to dinner and invites the group to join them so I will be going to that, I think we have about 8 of us going although the restaurant they picked does not take reservations so it will be interesting to see how that works as we went to this restaurant last October and they were really busy then.

Things are starting to open up again and that is great as it is not good to be isolated and cut off from people, I really think these zoom meetings have helped us a lot the last year.

Stay safe and stay happy and know things will be back to normal soon. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 16, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Some Susan time on Saturday and a video

Well, it is Saturday and I get to spend some time as Susan. I did have some things to do in the morning and then I took time to write my blog from Wednesday nights Zoom meeting, so it wasn’t till noon that I started getting ready. Now I took my time as I wanted to look my best today as I had something I wanted to do later today. I took extra care on my eyes and tried to do a really good black smokey eye look including false eyelashes and I was happy with the final look and yes, I went with my long blonde hair today. I was all ready by 1:30 and took a little time to get some pictures.

Now it was time to do my weekly shopping so I grabbed my purse and was off to Fred Meyers. I got there and parked and went in, there is just something about going and doing normal everyday things that everyone else do that makes it so nice. For years being Susan was something special just at home and then going out and now I live part of my life this way doing just normal daily things as Susan and that is something special and makes my life complete. Now it only takes about 30 minutes to do my shopping so this is a short outing as Susan and yes with a mask.

It was about 3pm when I got home and put my groceries away and yes, I did think about going to Starbucks for an hour or 2 but as I said earlier, I had something else I wanted to do today. Now Wednesday nights zoom meeting was a really good one and one of the things we talked briefly about at the end is what happens at the end of our lives especially if we have not told our families about this part of our lives which I have thought a lot about over the years as I am single and if something happens to me it will be my brother or nieces going through my things and finding all my female stuff. Now I have thought over the years of writing a letter for them to find in my stuff explaining about Susan and how I feel and about this part of my life but one of the girls said she was thinking of doing a video and I liked that idea. Any way I wanted to give this a try.

I spent about an hour writing different things and trying to get some thoughts to talk about and put it in some kind of outline that flows and covers what I wanted to cover. Now this was something new to try. Years ago, I think back in 2014 I did make a few videos I posted to my YouTube channel but they were just things I started talking about with no structure. They are pretty bad but I have left them up but I wanted to do better on this video for my family. Once I had it written and made sure I covered what I wanted to so I was ready to try a video.

Now I have thought about getting a stand-alone video camera and a microphone for our zoom meetings but haven’t. So, I was going to try this with the web cam and microphone on my laptop so it won’t be the best quality. If this works, I may think about doing more and maybe investing in better equipment and maybe ad a video blog to my regular blog. Now my first attempt was bad as I tried reading what I had written while recording it and it was bad. You see people giving speeches while reading off a teleprompter and they make it look so easy, its not. I stumbled through it and it didn’t turn out well, I deleted it. my next attempt while trying to look at the camera I lost my place, deleted it. My 3rd try I got through it and then tried to watch t and I didn’t loke the way I sounded, deleted it. I tried a 4th one and tried to speak in a more feminine voice and when I played it back, I sounded squeaky and deleted it. This is not as easy as I thought.

I took some time and redid what I wrote more into an outline format so it would give me talking points and then I would go from there and this seemed to work better. Now I have no way to edit these videos which also makes it harder as I have to do it in one shot. My goal was to be about 8 minutes and I just couldn’t’ get what I wanted to cover in and keep it under 10 minutes. My 5th try also deleted and I decided I would take a break and get something to eat.

It was almost 6 and yes, I broke down and made my trip to McDonalds. Now there was a line at the drive through so as I waited, I did get a couple pictures in my car including one with my eyes closed so you can see my eye look. I placed my order and the waited to get to the window to pay for it. when it was my turn the young lady at the window told me how much she liked my makeup which made me feel good and I thanked her. I also told her I liked hers as she had a really pretty pink and purple eye shadow on. She thanked me and told me she was still learning, I bet she is in her late teens, any way we talked a little about it till the car in front of me pulled forward.

I got back home and ate my dinner and then it was time to try my video again as I haven’t given up. Well, it took me 3 more tries and I finally had one I was satisfied with, although it is not great but I think with the equipment I have this is the best I could do. Now I have saved this video on my computer and a flash drive that I put in with my paperwork with all my financial information and yes, my brother knows where it is just in case. I also decided to upload my video to my YouTube channel incase you want to see my video. Now as I said there are a few more videos I did many years ago on here and they are kind of corny but it is part of my history and journey.

The rest of the night I just watched TV and worked on this blog. It was a relaxing day and some wonderful Susan time today.

Stay safe and stay happy and thanks for reading my bog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 11, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , | 7 Comments

Wednesday night zoom meeting

It is another Wednesday and time to spend time with my friends. These zoom meetings have really helped our group stay in touch and get through the last year, thigs are getting better so hopefully we will be back to normal in a couple months. I got home and started getting ready as I wanted to enjoy my time getting ready. I was all ready by 6 for my night. I got a few pictures and of curse called and talked with my mom.

I started the meeting a little before 7 and girls were already waiting. Tonight, should be a good night as we are doing our second time with the significant others and letting them get together in a breakout room. Zoom allows me to set up a room within the room and assign certain people to it so they can talk between themselves. We did this a little over a month ago and it went well and the significant others wanted to do it again each month and tonight was the night they picked. It is great as it gives the wives / girlfriends and partners of our members a chance to talk with others in the same situation. Well as I said a couple girls were already waiting and 2 were the wives. It was about 7:15 and we had 21 signed on when I opened the breakout room and assigned the significant others to it. in the breakout room we had Alice, Amy, Lavonna, Lorna, Lynn, Mary, & Mary Ann. In our main room we had the following members in the same order to match their partners in the other room, Cindi, Jeanie, Melissa, Danika, Jan, Maille, Jennifer and the rest were Nicole, Trish, Tori, Kitty, Karla Danielle and me. It was a really good night

Now we don’t know what the significant others talked about as part of this is for the to be able to be totally honest with the other significant others and get advice or help with the things, they are dealing with. We always think about how we feel and what we are dealing with and going through but this also does affect others in our lives especially if you are married. Every decision we make in life has at least some small effect on others and I will give an example, I just changes how much I put into my 401k plan at work to save a little tax but that means the state and federal government get less taxes and someplace some program will get a few cents less and that will affect someone that I don’t know. Everything we do has an impact and although we need to be ourselves and do what is right and best for us, we also need to recognize it will affect others and we need to help them deal with it just like we hope they will help us and this goes for everything in life.

Now we talked a little with Karla, she is in Thai land and just had her SRS surgery a couple days ago and she is doing great although she is still in quarantine in the hospital because of the virus so she can’t leave her room but she has her mother with her who again joined us briefly tonight. We are all so happy for her. now this is not that path I am on as I have no plans to transition but I can understand how the ones who do feel and how great it must be for them. Soon it was time for Jennifer’s question

Tonight’s question was about our hobbies not dealing with this side of our lives and who they affect us, do we still do them and it was interesting to hear some of the lady’s answers. Some of the hobbies are just as important and some have kind of faded but it seems we all have some things we like to do. Now I don’t normally talk much about my male self in Susan’s blog but I thought tonight I would. I really have 3 hobbies that I loke although I don’t do them as mush anymore 1st is golfing which I like to do but I don’t go as often anymore and pretty much over the last 10 years my golfing has been mostly as Susan so this one really fits in well. The next is fishing and hunting and again I haven’t done much of this over the last few years and this is something not for Susan and I will explain. Yes, women do hunt and fish but the clothes you wear, male or female is really the same and it is the one time I always wear a hat which would mess up my wigs and being outside all bundled up in heavy clothes a hat and maybe sunglasses you really wouldn’t be able to tell plus I usually get dirty doing these things which again is not something Susan likes. The last one is I like to go take some hikes usually during the summer. Now again yes woman do go hiking but very rarely do you see a woman out hiking with makeup on and for me I need full makeup to at least give the appearance of femininity. Plus, it is usually dusty out hiking which again is not something that goes with makeup although I have taken a few walks along the waterfront or at the beach as Susan but not hiking a trail up in the woods. Well, this is a little about me.

It was after 9 when a few of our girls started to sign off and a few in the breakout room and it was about 9:20 when the ladies in the breakout room all signed out although Lynn did join back in the main room. By 9:30 we had just a few of us and Maille brought up about telling family and one thing she had thought about was what happens when we die which I have thought about not as I am worried about it but when my family goes through my stuff as I am still single so it would either be my brother or nieces who know nothing of this side of me and they would find all my girl clothes, wigs and makeup plus my breast forms and hip pads and pictures. Now as I said I have thought about this and I had thought about writing a letter to them to find and explain about this side of my life and why a did not tell them which I will do but one of the girls actually said she was thinking about a video where she could tell them and they could see her and I really like this idea so now I am thinking about that also. I just have to figure out what to say and how to word it. we only had about 5 of us left in the meeting at this point and thought this might be a good topic for the whole group. Even one of the married girls who has a wife that could cover for her and remove all her female stuff so her family wouldn’t fide out thought this would be unfair to her wife to have to cover up for her which I never thought of it that way so I guess the girls who are married also have the same concerns.

It was about 9:45 when we ended the meeting for the night. it was such a great evening. Now I am looking forward to Saturday and getting to spend the afternoon and evening as Susan.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 10, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , | 2 Comments

Saturday Susan time and yes, a different look for my eyes.

It is Saturday if Easter weekend so I want to take a moment and wish everyone a Happy Easter tomorrow. Now I slept in this morning as it has been a long week and then wrote my blog from Wednesday nights zoom meeting. It was about noon when I started getting ready. I wanted to take my time today and yes, I was going for a different look on my eye makeup. now yes, I love doing eye makeup and trying different looks and have done some smokey eye looks with browns and I have been loving the purples lately but today I wanted to try some more black colors which s harder to blend. I was happy with the look o got not as black as I hoped but it looked pretty and as it was not as dramatic would work for daytime look. I also did false lashes today. I was all ready by 1:30 to start my day and yes, I got a few pictures including of my eyes, let me know what you think of the eye makeup look I did today.

Now I was ready for my day and yes, the first thing was a trip to Fred Meyers for my weekly shopping. It was about 2 when I got to Fred Meyers and had to park way out, yes, they were busy today probably because tomorrow is Easter and everyone is doing their holiday shopping which included me as I also need an Easter dinner as I will have my mom over for the day. I did all my shopping and got dinner for tomorrow and yes, we will be having Ham, mashed potatoes and corn. I paid for my groceries and headed for home. I got home and parked in my driveway and took my groceries in and put them away. I really do love doing these everyday type things as it helps me give Susan meaning if that makes sense. For years Susan was something I did in secret and felt bad about doing and now Susan is a very important part of my life and who I am. I also think it is important for other people to see us in everyday life and not just at an LGBTQ club.

Now it was nice and sunny out and a little over 60 so I went out on my deck for a little while and called to talk to my mom. It was really nice being outside in the sun, it is a beautiful spring day. After I got off the phone it was about 3:15 so I decided to go to Starbucks again for a couple hours so I grabbed my computer and purse and walked out y front door and went to my car. My neighbors across the street were working in their yard but not sure they even noticed me.

I git to the Starbucks by my house and went in and ordered my drink, now it was really hot inside as a matter of fact a few of the employees were complaining about the heat, seems they still have their heat set for winter so I git my drink and went outside to one of the tables by the door. Now there was a young man and woman sitting inside and I was the only one outside so I sis get a quick picture at the table. Now the bad thing is at this time of year the sun doesn’t hot this side of the building so it was a little on the cool side and after about 40 minutes the breeze picked up and I moved inside. It actually felt nice and warm back inside but yes after a little while it did get warm just sitting there. Now this Starbucks has a dive through which is always busy but there was also a steady stream of people coming in. Most just came in and picked up, I am guessing they used the mobile app to order but a few did come in and order in person and then wait. For me it is not so much about the drink but being out. I needed to catch up on some things on my computer and yes, I could have done them at home just as easy but way more fun at Starbucks

I stayed at Starbucks till about 5:30 as I was getting really warm now and I was getting hungry as I haven’t eaten since breakfast. I git in my car and drove over to the fuel station and git gas as I was almost on empty. I was now on my way and I once again decided to stop at Panda Express and pick up dinner before heading for home. I got home and had a nice dinner. It turned out to be a really nice day as Susan.

Now I am going to Las Vegas in May with Cassandra and Peggy for 4 nights, Cassandra and Peggy will be there 9 nights. Well, a few girls are coming in after I leave but Veronica e-mailed today, she will be there the same as Cassandra and Peggy although she does have to fly back to Portland on Friday and then will go back to Las Vegas in Sunday. Anyway, I sent her the flight I am on Friday in case she hasn’t booked her flight yet. Now my flight is late in the day so it may not work for her but who knows.

The rest of the evening I did a little housework and laundry and watched TV till it was time for bed. I stayed up till 11pm before washing away Susan for the day and going to bed, it is always sad to see it come to an end but I know Susan will be out again soon. Now I am looking forward to this coming Wednesday night and our Zoom meeting. Stay safe and be happy with who you are as if you don’t like yourself it will be hard for others too.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is knew in my life.

April 3, 2021 Posted by | Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , | Leave a comment

%d bloggers like this: