Saturday Susan time and an unexpected trip to the nail salon

Well it is the last Saturday of January and I planned to spend the afternoon as Susan. now normally I don’t start getting ready till 1pm or so but Nicole contacted me last night and she has several bags of clothes again. She gets these and we pass them through the group for you to find something you like or get rid of something you don’t want anymore. Any ways she has a lot this time so she offered to drop them off at my house. Now years ago I wouldn’t even tell people what city I lived in but now several girls know where I live or have my address so I figured why not as she is a good friend. She said she would drop them off at 1 so I had to decide to be al dressed by then or wait till after so my plan was to start getting ready at 11am. This left me time to do a little yard work in the morning. Well as luck would have it while doing yard work I broke a nail, well a big chip of the gel polish and a piece of the acrylic but surprisingly the nail underneath was fine, but it was jagged, looked bad and I didn’t think it would last another week so a nail salon trip is in my day now.

I was all ready when Nicole arrive and she was her male self, I have seen her a couple times this way and she has seen my male self also. I opened my garage and we unloaded the clothes into my garage. The neighbor girl came home while we were doing this but she knows and has seen me so no big deal. After we unloaded the clothes, we stood there at the front of my garage and talked for probably 20 minutes or so and several of my neighbors drove by while we stood there. It really was good to see Nicole even if for such a short time and as her male self. well she left and I went back inside and the first thing I did was call Dream Nails to see if I could get in for a fill, it’s a week early but I figured they had to fix the nail anyway why not just get the fill. They asked me when I wanted to come and I just said whatever works for them so they asked if I wanted to come now so I told them I would be there in 5 minutes as I was already dressed.

I got to Dream nails and there were only a couple of cars so I went in and yes, I remembered my mask this time. as I said they were not busy, just a couple ladies getting pedicures so the young lady called me back. It wasn’t Anna doing my nails today but I have had this girl do my nails before and she does a good job, really all the ladies here are good. She asked me if I wanted them shorter and if I wanted the same color and I said yes to both adding the color was clear pink. She is probably early 20’s and so we were talking, she is graduating from college this year and is going to go to Nursing school. Well she worked on my nails and shortened them and shaped them how I like and then started to put the acrylic on and she also used the pale pink tinted powder, really on your nails you can’t tell. A few more women came in, 2 to get pedicures and 2 to get their nails done so I must have timed it just right. It really was relaxing and enjoyable. Now it was time for 2 coats of the clear pink and a topcoat. My nails looked awesome; they really do a great job here. I paid and she said she would see me in 3 weeks and I was on my way.

Now out in my car I noticed 2 things, first my nails looked a little more pink but also, she had put a little thicker layer of acrylic on my nails and I think that is why but they looked awesome. They also seemed shinier which might be because they are freshly done. It was about 2:30 now so what to do. I decided to go to Starbucks in Orchards and work on my blog from Wednesday night’s dinner. I got there just before 3 and went in. there were only a few people inside so I got a table along the wall where I could plug in my computer. I worked on my blog and just had a relaxing time. now 2 young girls probably 15 or 16 came in and sat at a table across from me and I did see them look over at me a few times. What was funny was they were taking pictures of each other they probably spent 20 minutes here and I bet they took 30 or 40 pictures. To bad they were using the outside as the backdrop as I think it would have been funny to be in the background of them.

Now the other funny thing is if you read my blog from when I got my nails done last time I had mentioned how they looked pinkish in natural light and how now they look a little more pink in natural light. Well as I wrote my blogs, I could see mu nails and they do have a pinkish tint inside now probably because of the thicker layer of acrylic, yes, it is more obvious I have acrylic on my nails so it will be interesting at work this week. I stayed here till about 5:30 before I left and as I was so close to the Wendy’s I usually go to, they pretty much share the same parking lot, I stopped to get something to eat before heading home for the night. Now the drive through had a long line but o cars in the parking lot so I parked and as I got out of my car 4 other cars parked right after me so I thought I timed it right. I got to the door and it was locked with a sign the dinning room was closed due to staffing shortages. I am so ready for this to be over. So I went home and made dinner and watched TV the rest of the night.

Be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Wednesday night dinner at Screen Door and a little political view

Okay it is Wednesday and I am going out to dinner with my friends but first a warning. This blog will have some political points in it and that will be in red so feel free to skip over that part if you wish, as it is just my views and opinions. If you read it remember it is my view only and you can agree or disagree with me and I am okay with that but please if you do read the red text be sure and read all of it so you get what I am saying.

I got home and got ready for our weekly dinner. I took my time getting ready as I did want to look good and I had picked out my red and black dress for tonight. I was all ready by 6 and yes, I did get a few pictures something I forgot Monday night. I got downtown Portland and found a parking spot right across the street, so it was a short walk. Patty had just got there also so we went in together. Jeannie and Amy were already there and just waiting om them to get our table ready. Now to be honest I almost didn’t go tonight and this is why, they require proof of vaccination.

When we walked in the door the lady at the desk asked to see our papers, yes, our proof of vaccination. Now I know some people support this and I will admit it is nice to know the people around you are vaccinated. Yes, I believe in the vaccine and I am fully vaccinated and I encourage people to get it. What I am against is forcing people to get it or you destroy them, you get them fired from their job, or don’t let them go out to eat or buy groceries to survive, this is not acceptable in my eyes. I also believe it violates Federal law and our constitutional rights. Now I know people say it is an emergency but once you allow this power to the government or even private businesses you can never get it back. They say it is for safety of everyone but what about other diseases will that be next, proof of vaccinations against flu or hepatitis or a negative test for HIV. You see where this can lead. Hospitals are now denying transplant surgeries to people who are unvaccinated and they say it carries a greater risk of success but think about this, what they are saying is because there is a little more risk, we are just going to let you die. I don’t care who you are you should never be refused medical treatment if your life is on the line, even people in prison deserve this care. A year ago if I said we would have to show proof of vaccination everyone would say I was crazy, every politician said that would never happen and most said it violated the law and constitution and now a year later look where we are. Where does it end? Will they start asking Transgender people for proof of hormone therapy or if they have had surgery. As you can see, I am not happy with what I view as an invasion of our privacy. Had I know Screen door required this before I picked this place, I would not have picked them, and yes, I will choose Wednesday night dinners more carefully in the future when I pick. Again this is my view and no one else’s.

Claire, Jennifer, and her wife showed up and each showed their vaccine card and then we were shown to our table. In all we had 7 of us tonight. It was actually the same tables we had last time we came here, right in the middle. Now I think most of us knew what we were going to order although we all did look at the menu first. I ordered their fried chicken dinner which is really good as I had it last time, we were here Jeanie got their chicken and waffles which she says is really good also. With our order in we sat and talked as we waited for our food. I really do love these Wednesday night dinners as it is so important to have contact with people and to do it as Susan is awesome.

Our food came and we had a wonderful meal and the food really is good, we had a nice dinner and wonderful conversation. We finished our dinner and just sat and talked. We did get our waiter to take a group picture but as we had a couple wives in it, I don’t want to post that for their privacy. I post a lot of pictures and that is something I like but I also want to respect other rights and not post without their permission as I don’t want to violate their right to privacy. We talked about next weeks dinner and Claire recommended the Irvine Street Tapas which I had never heard of. She is going to check it out and then post it to the group so that will be where we are next week. When I got home, I did check their website to see what kind of food they have and it looks good and for me the most important is their web site says nothing about proof of vaccination.

We all paid our bills and then we left for home, it was about 9:20 when we left. It was a good night and I look forward to next weeks dinner. now I am looking forward to this weekend when I will get some Susan time in the afternoon and evening on both Saturday and Sunday.

Be happy with who you are and don’t change for other people. You have the right to be who you are and the right to your beliefs and even if I disagree with you, I will stand with you to protect those rights but I do ask the same for me. To be able to live my life as I choose.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Monday night zoom meeting with friends

It is another Monday and I have been looking forward to our zoom meeting, I took my time getting ready and enjoyed mt time doing my makeup. I was all ready by 6 and had time to watch TV before the meeting. It was just before 7 when I started the meeting.

Girls started to log on and tonight we would have 12 of us, Jennifer, Nicole, Jan, Lynn, Melissa, Danika, Emily, Maille, Tori, Danielle, Jeannie, and me. It was great to see everyone and just catch up. We talked for a little bit and then we took time to let the girls share something that happened this week if they wish. No one of our girls has come out to her boss at work and is now working to come out to some of the key people she works with which is really awesome and a big step forward. We were all Happy for her.

Soon it was time for Jennifer’s question of the week and it was one we talked about before and it was about dreams. Do you dream as female or male, about being female or male or both. Now a few of the girls really didn’t know as they said they never really saw them in the dreams they saw what was going on around them and I never really thought about it that way. Now for me I tend to dream both female and male although it has changed over the years. When I was only able to dress a few times a year I tended to dream more about being Susan when I wasn’t able to dress. I think it was my way of subconsciously trying to fulfill my need to dress. When I was able to dress, I would get such a rush and I really didn’t dream on those nights. Now I tend to dream more as Susan when I do dress and when I don’t dress, I dream more as my male self. now going back to where some of the girls said in their dreams, they couldn’t see themselves and that got me thinking about my dreams and that is true.

In my dreams I am aware of what is going on around me but I really don’t see me. Now yes one of the more common dreams is getting my nails done and yes in those dreams I can see my hands. Now even though I can’t see myself I am aware of who I am and if I am my male or female self. I also have dreams where I am out as Susan with my friends or shopping and then next, I am either with family or at work which can sometimes be unsettling and others it feels so normal. Now I also realize most dreams are short and I read some where we dream several times a night and I wonder if they are separate dreams that in the morning, I may have been blending the dreams together.

Well we talked a little longer and then girls started to sign off and once again by 9 it was just Jan and me so we talked a little longer before signing off for the night. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner.

Be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Beautiful Sunday and some Susan time

Well it is another beautiful winter day, sunny and highs in the low 50’s, I am looking forward to spring. Did some yard work early in the day so didn’t start to get ready as Susan till about 1pm. Now I took my time doing my makeup as I am still trying to prefect the perfect brow for me. Yes, I love playing with makeup and trying different looks. Now I will admit they are pretty similar to my other attempts. I was all ready by 2:30 so I got a few pictures and got a load of laundry going and went out on my deck for a few minutes just to see how warm it was. Now if you were in the sun, it was nice but, in the shade, just a little cool and the Starbucks, I will be going to the outside tables will be in the shade so I will be inside. Today I have on my black skirt and a short sleeve top as the last several weeks when I have gone here, they have had the heat up and it was warm for me in a sweeter top. It was about 3:15 when I left home, I did take a sweeter just in case.

I got to Starbucks by 3:20 and there were a lot of people there including a few sitting outside with coats of course. I went in and ordered my drink and sat down at a table along the window. Now I have been coming here pretty much every Sunday for a while and a couple seats to my right was a man I have seen here every Sunday for over a month and to my left was a lady I have seen here the last 2 or 3 Sundays so I guess I am not the only one who has a set schedule for going to Starbucks.

I caught up on some e-mails and sent out the notice for this Wednesday night’s dinner. Now this is a process as I post it in our group the Rose City T-girls but I also post it to our group IO and our slack channel as we have some girls who only follow one of them, so I really post it 3 different times. Hopefully we will have a few girls who can make it. Now it was time to write my blog from yesterday as I want to try and keep up on them in a more timely manor but the problem is I like to write them when I am Susan so I will write this blog and post it and try to write part of todays blog.

It was a relaxing time here at Starbucks and had I not come here I probably would have been sitting on my couch at home watch TV as I played on my computer. Now as I typed on my keyboard, I could see my nails and it got me thinking about them. First, I have been going every 3 weeks for a fill and it really is because they are getting to long at least for my male side. My nails grow at about 1/16 of an inch a week which seems like a small amount but that equals ¼ inch every 4 weeks and when Anna filed them down, she left them about 1/16 inch long to start which means in 3 weeks my nails will actually be ¼ inch long when I go back to the salon and if you look at a ruler that is pretty long. The other thing I noticed is the grow out will be more noticeable this time as I have a slight pinkish tint on my nails, now indoors it’s not as noticeable but before it was just the difference between the shiny nail and the no shiny grow out now there will be a color difference and I wondered if maybe that was why Anna did the clear pink. Here is what they look like after 1 week. Really, I am guessing if I didn’t care about the length of my nails, I could easily go 4 to 5 weeks between fills but with color on your nails as they grow out after 2 weeks you could see it and it in my opinion doesn’t look as nice and I am sure with bright or bold colors it would be even more noticeable. I will have to see what they look like but I do know I am really liking the slight pinkish tint on them and wish it was a brighter polish like a red.

Well this got me thinking why I love nails so much. I mean they really serve no purpose and for some things long nails can get in the way and yes when I was working in my yard yesterday and today, I was very worried I my break or damage one and I did wear heavy gloves to try and protect them, yes, I make sure I take care of them. They look so perfect right now and I would be devastated if I broke one as my hand would look off and I think that would make the other nails stand out more. Now I will admit most of the time I don’t even think about them, yes when I am typing on my keyboard and can hear the clicking sound, they make and I love it plus I can see my nails at that point. I also love the feel of them, when I run my finger over the top of them and feel that smooth polished feel or when I scratch my arm or back with them but these are such brief periods. Now I know for some woman the nails are an accent statement for people to see but for me I don’t flash them around. I am not hiding them but also not making a point to flaunt them. My nails really are just for me. I know when I see long nails on a woman, I find it very attractive but again that is not how I feel when I see mine. I really can’t explain why I love them any better than that but I do know I love them. I guess it is just a mystery to me, would love to hear other thoughts on this.

I stayed at Starbucks till about 6 before heading home for some dinner and to relax watching TV before going to bed. Tomorrow we have our Zoom meeting and Wednesday night our dinner. be happy with who you are, thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Saturday and some Susan time

Now today is Saturday and a beautiful day out, mostly sunny and going to be in the low 50’s. now with that I needed to do some yardwork this morning. I have 8 grape vines I planted along my deck for privacy years ago so I could be out on my deck as Susan in the summer. Well I need to prune them back and if you have grape plants, you know they grow like weeds so that was my morning plan. It took a few hours and I finished about noon, tomorrow I will go out and pick up some of the clippings and put them in my recycling bin I say some as it will take a few bins to get rid of all of the clippings so it will take a few weeks. I had a quick lunch and then started getting ready for my day as Susan.

Now the other day when I was at Fred Meyers I bought some cover girl foundation, just their normal one not full coverage as I just wanted to see how it would work to have a lighter more sheer foundation, yes, I did go a little darker because of the sheerness. I got all cleaned up and did my makeup and was pretty happy with the look although the test will be after a few hours. I got a few pictures as right now the makeup looks good.

I decided to run down to Clackamas Town Center as I need some more eyelash glue and wanted to pick it up at ULTA. It was about 2:20 when I got there and parked by JC Pennies and went in. I wanted to look at dresses and shoes. I looked around and they did have some cute dresses but just a little to small for me so I headed out into the mall to do some window shopping. I walked by the little MAC store to see if Tracy (Sherri’s friend was working but didn’t see her so I continued on down the mall. It really is more about just being out with other people as Susan. I did walk through Macys and look at their dresses also but didn’t see anything in my size. Now as I walked the mall I got thinking, it is a nice sunny day so it would be a good day to go and put flowers on my parents grave as it is not far from here. I try to do this as Susan and certain days seem more important as they are more family type days and those are the days that are the hardest, holidays, their anniversary, and birthday, yes, I have one coming up and it will be different this year without them so I decided to go do that. I left the mall and of course I had to stop at Fred Meyers at Johnson Creek and get flowers.

Fred Meyers was not that busy and I was surprised as I went in there were to security guards standing by the door. Now I know the store has security but usually you don’t see them. I went and got my flowers and came back to the checkout by the door and they were still standing there, I really didn’t pay attention. I paid for my flowers and left and as I drove around to the other side to leave, I saw another one standing outside that entrance and I looked a little closer and this one had a gun so now I was wondering if maybe these were police officers or if they have a bigger problem here, anyway I was leaving and on my way to the cemetery which is only a couple miles away. Now if you paid attention you realized what I did at this point, the reason for my trip to Clackamas Town Center was to go to ULTA for eyelash glue and I forgot to do that.

I got to the cemetery and parked, now I am thinking a lot of people looked at the weather today and had the same idea I did as there were a lot of cars here and yes 2 groups in the section, I would be in. I really didn’t think of it and just got out and put my flowers in the little grave side holders and went and put them on my parents grave. I spent about 30 minutes here, it is strange as it seems I always come here as Susan when by myself even though I never told them about this side of me. I wonder what they would have thought if I told them. Now I am sure they would have still loved me but I am not sure if they would have understood why I need to do this. As I walked back to the car in the sun light I could see my pretty toes and got a picture of them as they still look great which I was surprised as it was December 4^th when I got my last pedicure so it has been 7 weeks and they still look great. It was almost 4:30 when I left here.

On my way home I decided to stop at the Starbucks at Cascade Station for a little wile and write my blog from Wednesday night’s dinner with Julie. Now they were not that busy so I was able to get a table along the window as I like to people watch as people walk by. I wrote my blog and did some other work on my computer and stayed here a couple hours, yes, it is all about being out with other people. It was a little after 7 when I left here and headed home for the night to watch TV and have a little dinner. I got home and checked my makeup and it held up well although only for a few hours. I am thinking for shorter outings this will work but longer I think my beard shadow will show more as it is not a full coverage.

I watched TV till about 11 before washing away my makeup and yes this washes away a lot easier but yes it didn’t hold up that well for this long. Now I am looking forward to a little Susan time Sunday afternoon and evening. Be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Wednesday night dinner at Claim Jumpers Clackamas Town Center

Well it is Wednesday and we have our Wednesday night dinner tonight. It will be a small turnout as only 1 girls is a yes and one a maybe. Traffic was lite so I got home a little before 4:30 so I had time. now the great thing is Julie had texted me and she can make it tonight so I will pick her up. I quickly checked my computer to see if any others had posted as being such a small group, I didn’t make reservations. Well it turns out the other girl had to cancel as her wife tested positive for Covid and she wants to play it safe which I agree with so I texted Julie I would pick her up a little after 6 and it would most likely be just the 2 of us, one girl had said last week she would be there but never posted but I wondered if she would make it just thinking she confirmed last week.

I started my makeup and tonight I wanted to do a smokey eye look with my gold shadow on the inner part of my eye lid, I really like this look but think it is a little more fancy so I don’t do it that often. I was all ready by 5:30 and yes, I picked my black and gold dress as I thought the gold in my dress went with my eyes. Yes, Susan thinks about stuff like that. I was on my way a few minutes later and arrived at Julie’s a few minutes after 6.

Julie had just finished getting ready so we sat and talked a little before leaving. Now I did think about changing restaurants and going someplace local as most likely it will be just the 2 of us but on the off chance someone showed up unexpected, I didn’t want them to not find us there. I was so glad Julie could make it tonight as she heads back down to Southern California in 2 days till probably April or May and I will miss her so maybe just the 2 of us for dinner is a good thing. We left and drove to Clackamas and talked the whole way, I really enjoy this time.

We parked and went in and they were not that busy as a matter of fact most of the main part of the restaurant was empty it really was just the bar area that was full. Well we soon found out why, turns out they only had 1 waiter for the main part so most or the tables were closed. The lady at the desk said she had a table in the bar area or it would be a wait to try and get a table in the main part. Businesses not being able to get employees is making it even harder on them. Well we took the table in the bar which was fine as we were with most of the other people and it seated 4 so we were good incase a couple others showed up.

Julie and I talked a little before we ordered. Our waitress took our order and she was really good and eve though they were short staffed she was awesome, yes it was a little slow but it was beyond their control and as I said she really did do a good job for what she had to cover. Now Julie ordered us an appetizer, spinach dip and it was really good, yes as this is the only way I will eat spinach. We also both ordered the T-bone steak. Now I did have to show off my pretty nails to her as they really do look great. In artificial light they have just the slightest pink tint to them but in natural light and especially sunlight you can tell they are a pink shade but you know what I love them. Anna from Dream Nails did a wonderful job on them as they are perfectly shaped and a short length although in 3 weeks, they will be a little long. Julie liked the color and asked what it was, it is called clear pink.

Our dinner came and it was really good. we had a wonderful dinner and great conversation and I enjoyed tonight. I have made a lot of friends in the group and some are my closest friends and a few are really more like family and Julie is one of the ones more like family. Years ago I could never imagine having friends as Susan much less such close friends and yes, they really have changed my life for the better. Well we finished dinner and it was good and although I am trying to cut sweets out but this was Julies our last dinner together for a while, I talked her into splitting a dessert. I ordered their Strawberry cream pie; it was almost like a cheesecake with fresh strawberries on top and it was oh so good. we had a wonderful dinner and it was almost 9 when we left.

Now we did have the drive back to Julie’s house to talk some more and it was sad when I dropped Julie off and headed home. We had talked about me coming down and visiting her and Trixie and although this year I won’t be able to do it I am definitely going to do that next year. It was almost 10 when I got home and washed away Susan for the night. now I am looking forward to the weekend and some more Susan time.

Be happy with who you are and find people, friends who support you, your life will change for the better. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Monday night get together on Zoom

Monday again and I got home from work a little early, not much traffic so I had lots of time to get ready which I really like as I enjoy my time transforming to Susan. I did my makeup and used my MAC lipstick in the color Russian red which is beautiful. This is my Monday night lipstick as it is not a long wearing one and sense I am at home and not eating I don’t have to worry about it wearing off, smearing or having to reapply. I was all ready by 5:30 so I had lots of time to watch TV and play on my computer before our meeting started at 7.

It was just before 7 when I started the meeting and ladies started to sign on. Tonight we would have 11 of us, Jennifer, Sherri, Nicole, Jan, Lynn, Christa, Danielle, Danika, Emily, Melissa and me. Once everyone was logged on, we did give everyone a chance to share something from the past week. One of the girls who owns her own business receive a letter from a long-time employee that was really negative about her and her transitioning which was really sad and I didn’t understand the logic behind it, let me explain. Over the years I have worked jobs I hated or for people I didn’t like for one reason or another and stuck it out till I found another job and then gave my notice and left on good terms which I think is the right way to do it, you know if you don’t have something nice to say then say nothing. I also know people who have just up and quit, told their boss off and walked out, not a good choice but understandable. This however is the first time I have heard of someone telling their boss off and calling them names and not quitting, I mean can you actually be dumb enough to do something like that and think you will still have a job tomorrow which this person will not. Again my opinion alone is you don’t have to like how I live my life or agree with it but you do have to respect my right to be who I am. Just go about your life and be happy and let me be happy. Well enough about that. We talked for a while just catching up.

Soon it was time for Jennifer’s question of the week and it was a good one. Suppose you were out someplace like say, me at Starbucks and someone say 14 or 15 came up to you and said they felt like they were transgendered and wanted to know about it, what they should do, what would you say to them. Now I do have strong feelings on this and what I would do and what is right for me and it seams several of the girls also had similar views so that was nice to hear and these are only my views and what I would do.

First, I am not an expert on the topic nor a phycologist. I was also brought up in a strong loving family and although I never came out to any of them as I am only part time, I truly believe my family would still love me and support me. My main concern with this is the age of the person. Now I would share about me but the main advice I would give them is to talk with their parents which would be very hard especially if your family life was different from how mine was. Again my opinion only I really do think parents are important and I do not agree with people outside the family (schools or government) overstepping the family and what I mean by this is anything that happens with a minor needs to go through the parent or at least they need to know. Helping a minor with any kind of medical procedure or change without the parents knowing is wrong in my opinion only. Now I am not saying don’t help the child but the parents have the right to know. First of all you are taking away their rights and they may be supportive. I have heard from lots of girls who thought certain family members would not accept them only to find out that was wrong and they did. I saw a lady on TV news who was mad at the school board for doing just this. Now yes, she was conservative but she truly loved her child and wanted what was best for them. She is actually supportive of her child’s decision and what upset her was she was not given the chance to support and help her child. Now yes if the parents are not supportive then we do need to give the child support and if the parents become abusive to the child, then yes, the state should step in but I really think we need to work within the family.

Now I would encourage this person to talk with their parents and even offer to answer any question I could to them and their parents or even their parents alone but yes in a public place for safety reasons. I would tell them about myself and my journey but I would not give them any advice other then to talk with their parents and to try and find a professional councilor, even a school councilor who could work with them and their family. Gin only my opinion and what is right for me.

Well we talked more and it was a little before 9 when girls started to sign off and by 9 it was just Jan and me and we continued to talk till 9:40 before we called it a night. it was a great night and ow I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Claim Jumpers at Clackamas Town Center.

Love who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

A relaxing Sunday as Susan

It is Sunday and I am going to have a relaxing day as Susan. I started getting ready at noon as I have no real plans other than laundry, some house cleaning and yes cleaning the kitchen. Now years ago before I started going out and only dressed at home, I would do housework as Susan but now days I really want to go out when I am Susan and I leave the housework to my male self but today I thought why not and as a reward Susan will get to go to Starbucks for a little while. I was all ready by a little after 1 and then the work started. Put my first load of laundry in the wash and did some light vacuuming, yes, I didn’t want to work too hard as I didn’t want to sweat as that is something Susan doesn’t like. I finished that and cleaned the kitchen and got my second load of laundry going. Now this may seem boring and it is but I always talk about going shopping and being able to do that normal daily activity makes me feel Susan is a part of my daily life I figured I should also do some work. It was a little after 3 and I decided to take a break and go to the Starbuck near my house.

I got to Starbucks and went in and yes, they were busy inside but there were 2 small tables along the window open so I set my computer on one and went and ordered my drink. I started my computer and it was good I got this table as I had forgot to plug in my computer last night when I got home and the battery was almost dead. Now I worked on my blog from Saturday which I will post later tonight and then just spent some time on my computer which is probably what I would have done at home. Now as I typed I could see my nails and yes, they do have a definite pinkish tint to them and yes, I love the look of them but am very aware people who look at my nails will know I have polish on them and this got me thinking. Why do I like this so much, how can how I dress make me feel so good? It really makes no sense as yes as I sit here and can see my nails and my ring on my figure but that is it. I can’t see my makeup and I really am not paying attention to my clothes. I spent a little time thinking about that and what makes me who I am.

As long as I can remember I have loved makeup and the way it look on woman and how it can enhance or even change how they look. For me just thinking about doing my makeup or getting my nails done gives me a calming feeling. I have had my toenails painted for probably 16+ years and really no one sees them especially during the winter. I get up in the morning and take my shower and yes at that point I can see the pretty color and then I put on socks and shoes and they are covered up till I get ready for bed at night and remove my socks and I always thought why do I paint them but it comes back to that calming feeling. Even though I can’t see them I know they look pretty and that has the same effect on me. I think that is why I have been keeping my fingernails so nice the last few years and why when Anna put the clear pink on yesterday, I didn’t stop her as for me it will be a visual reminder of Susan. yes, other people will see it and know I have polish on but I am guessing they won’t say anything as it is a very subtle shade. I imagine if I walked in with a bright red or hot pink there would be at least some questions.

As I sat here thinking about it, I started wondering who decided what was feminine attire. Looking back through history men use to wear eye liner, heels and yes even corsets. It is only in the modern (enlightened) times that this has changed. Now I will admit women in general look better wearing this stuff then your average man but still why does society look different on this. I got thinking about where I work and I would say 1/3 or more of the men have pierced ears including me now but the difference is the men wear a simple stud and the women can wear hoops or dangly earrings. A couple of the males wear nail polish and no one thinks anything about it but it is black polish they wear and their nails are just trimmed neatly not shaped nicely or long where woman can have long perfectly shaped nails in all the bright pretty colors. Now of course this is a change as 10 years ago I didn’t work with any males who wore nail polish and very few of the men had pierced ears so there is hope going forward.

Now I know a few of our girls in the group have nice nails, Julie has had beautiful perfectly shaped nails with dipping powder on them in a pale pink shade for a few years and has had no problems. Jan actually has a full set of acrylic nails almost ¼ long with some pretty bright colors and no problems. At dinner the other night Claire was talking about getting her nails done in lighter colors and not worrying what people think and of course I have nice nails also that are now a pretty see-through pink and we all live part of our lives as males. I think the more we and others do this it will become more common and acceptable. It is the same reason I like to go out and why we do the dinners. The more we are out and interacting with people the more common it will become for them to see a transgender person out and see we really are no different from them.

Early on I always viewed this side of me as a private part of who I was, something I did for me and it really is but I have also come to learn it is also something I do to introduce other people to transgender people and with that comes a little more responsibility as I realize how I act and come across to people when I am out on Susan will help form their opinion of transgender people so I need to set a good example. Now I am not saying we shouldn’t go out and have a good time but we do need to be aware that people are watching us and forming opinions good or bad. It goes back to that question what do you remember and most people can go someplace like a restaurant and have 10 good experiences and if they have 1 bad one that is what they tend to remember. I have gone to so many nails salons over the years and always been treated wonderful and almost always they do a wonderful job but in reality, I can remember 3 of them really well. Dream nails where I go as Susan and have gone many time. Julies nails where I was going as my male self last year and one, I won’t mention the name but I went to this one probably 20 years ago to get a set of acrylics removed and when I thought they were going to trim them down to soak them off the lady just started snapping them off my nails, I never went back to that salon and still remember it. It is a fact of life as we tend to remember bad more than good so if we do go out and give 10 positive interactions with people and 1 bad one unfortunately what they will remember is the bad one so we really do need to be aware how we act when out.

On the good side we really are important as we are each an ambassador for the transgender community and we are what is shaping peoples views and helping transgender people become more accepted and maybe in a few years we will just be viewed as just another person out and we won’t need the title transgender. I guess what I am saying is be respectful of others and we will be respected. Now I stayed at Starbucks till about 6 before going home to make dinner.

If you read my blog from yesterday you saw my nails but the color really doesn’t show up so I found this picture online, not my nails but this is the color of my nails. Now I do have a thinner layer of acrylic so more natural looking and a lot shorter of course over the next 3 weeks they will grow out and look more like this picture, of course to get this long would take 3 to 4 months. Sorry this is a little longer of a blog.

Be happy in your life and love who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Saturday Susan time and a busy day.

It is Saturday and I have a full day today. Now I had my monthly zoom meeting this morning for my male self and I did it as my male self this month as I overslept. It was a little after 11 when I started getting ready as Susan. I took my time doing my makeup as I wanted to look good. I was all ready by 12:30 for my day. Now Saturday is my normal shopping day and today I wanted to go to Fred Meyers and Walmart so I went to the one on Mill Plain. Now you may ask why these 2 stores and I will tell you. Walmart is less expensive but I don’t care for their meat or produce and I think Fred Meyers is better quality on those items.

I went to Fred Meyers and went in and got my cart and started shopping. Now I noticed some shelves were pretty empty but they had a good selection of produce and meat and that was what I was here for. Now usually I do my shopping every week and probably will but I wanted to get some extra and put it in the freezer to be safe with all the shortages going on right now. I spent about ½ hour here before leaving and heading to Walmart just down the street. Now it is only abut 40 out so I figured my meat and produce in the trunk would be fine for a quick stop at Walmart. Now the real reason for Walmart is they have microwavable vegetables for $1 which are a perfect single serving and a quick addition to any meal.

I went in and got my cart and picked up what I needed which included a few other things then just my frozen items. I also noticed they had a lot of empty shelves also so I am glad I am getting a little extra this week. Now I was on my way home. I got home and parked in my driveway and it took 3 trips to get my groceries inside my house and then I had to put them away. It was about 2:30 now and I decided to make one more trip and go to Costco. For stuff for my cupboards, yes today is going to be a Susan shopping day. I grabbed my computer as I figured I could also stop at Starbucks at Cascade Station and catch up on my blogs as I will be out that way. as I was driving away from my house, I suddenly realized I needed to get my nails done and as I was going right by the nail Salon (Dream Nails) I decided to stop. Now this will be a first as I always call ahead and get an appointment but today, I am just going to stop by and see what happens.

I parked and went in and of course they greeted me by name. I asked if I could get a fill and Anna said sure it would be about 15 minutes and to pick out a color, of course no color for me so I sat down and waited. Soon Anna called me over to her table and I sat down, yes Anna was going to do my nails today, now all the ladies here do a

great job but I do have to admit I like Anna and Kathy the best, probably because they were the first ones, I had do my nails. Anna started on my nails and as she worked, we talked a little, she asked me how long she had known me which was really nice as it was that personal connection I love about this place, not how long had I been coming here but how long she had know me, word do make a difference. It was September of 2014 when I first came to Dream Nails which was a big deal for me as it is only a couple blocks from my house and up to this point, I had never gone anyplace as Susan that close to where I live, yes, I looked it up in my blog. She asked me if I wanted them shorter and I did and back to the square shape. The last time the lady rounded them off and they did look nice but they also look longer that way when they grow out plus I just like the square shape. She filed off the clear gel and shortened them and shaped them and then started the fill with the acrylic, she pulled out a different pink acrylic which looked a little more pink but she said it would give my nails a natural look so I went with it and it did, to tell you the truth I really couldn’t see a difference in the color.

The whole time we were talking which I like, we talked about her daughter and the holidays and just had a nice time. She did a great job and I loved the shape and the length was perfect. Now it was time for the clear gel polish. Now the last few times the lady who did my nails just put 1 coat of clear topcoat on my nails. Anna put 2 layers of a tinted clear, it had a slight translucent pink tint to it. Now I have a nail strengthener that has a pink tint to it and again I can’t tell the difference and after the first coat it pretty much looked clear. Anna said it would give my nails a natural look. With the first coat on she put the second coat on and it did have the slightest pinkish tint to it. Now it was time for the topcoat and as she put that on, I could see the other bottle sitting on the table and it was called clear pink so I guess it was more than just a tinted clear. I was all done now and as I sat with my hand in the light dryer Anna told me she does microblading now in case I wanted to have her do my eyebrows, she has offered to wax and shape my brows several times before so I told her I would think about it. Okay I admit I don’t know all the terms for stuff like this as after I told her I would think about it she said she could also do my lips and she showed me hers which had a beautiful rose color on them and she said I wouldn’t have to do my brows every day and that’s when I realized she was talking about permanent cosmetics which I can not do. Yes, I was thinking about Dermaplaning so next time I go in I will have to tell her I decided not to do the microblading. My nails looked awesome Anna did an awesome job. I paid and of course gave her a good tip and was on my way.

Now as I drove to Starbucks, I could see my nails in the natural light and yes, they have a definite pink tint to them. I tried to get a picture in the car when I parked but the pictures does not do them justice. I went into Starbucks and wrote my blog from Monday’s Zoom call and posted it and then it was off to Costco to do my final shopping. This will be packaged food in bulk so I can fill up my cupboards. They were really busy and they didn’t seem to have the holes on their shelves the other 2 stores did I did my shopping and then headed for home and as it was almost 6, I did stop at Wendy’s and get a quick bite to eat and as I was right next t the Starbuck’s in Orchards, I go to I went there after I ate to work on Wednesday nights blog. it was about 8:30 when I went home to watch TV for the rest of the night.

It was an awesome day and yes, I am going to keep my nails like this and see if anyone says anything, after all I have had shiny perfectly shaped nails that were on the long side for a couple of months now and no one has said anything, they really do look great.

I watched TV till 11 before going to bed, always sad to wash Susan away. Be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Wednesday night dinner at Brix Tavern

It is Wednesday night and our group is going to Brix Tavern in downtown Portland, now we have never gone here as a group so it is a new place although some of the girls have gone here before either as their male or female self. Now I was looking forward to this as I have never been here and I love going to new places. Now I was able to make reservations online which was nice.

I got home early again, yes, all week-long traffic has been good. It usually takes me 1:15 minutes or more to get home (pre pandemic was 1 ½ to 2 hours) but so far this week it has been 45 minutes give or take a couple. Now this was nice as it gave me time to enjoy getting ready and still be ready by 5:30 so I could go pick Julie up at 6. Now I wanted to wear a dress but also wanted to be casual and I really only have 2 dresses like that and one is a summer dress so I went with my blue one which happens to be the same dress I wore Sunday; I really do need to find some more casual dresses. I was all ready and on my way. I got to Julies a little before 5 and as I had made reservations for 4 at 7pm so we had some time to sit and talk before we left which is always nice. Julie heads back down South next week so I really enjoy this time. it was about 6:20 when we left.

We got downtown Portland at 6:50 and I found a parking spot right in front of the door again which is always nice as being so close I didn’t have to wear my coat in. we got inside and were show to our table and one of the girls was already there, one I hadn’t counted on, my fault. I usually post our dinners in our group message board, our e-mail list and our slack channel so I actually have to watch 3 places but it turns out she sent me a private message in our group saying she would be there so will, have to watch for that. Now it wasn’t an issue as they were not that busy and our waitress who was awesome by the way just pulled another table over for us. By 7 all of us had arrived and we had 5 of us tonight, Julie, Alana, Claire, Patty and me. It was great to see everyone and of course we talked for a little bit before we ordered.

Our waitress came and took our orders and yes, she did it by memory and got it all correct which always impresses me as I can sometimes walk into a room and forget why. Now the other thing and this may be a little shallow but our waitress had beautiful long acrylic nails, beautifully made-up eyes and her blonde hair was perfect, I really wish we could have seen her without her face mask. Yes, I tend to notice things like this. We sat and talked and had a nice time as we waited for our food to come. Now I ordered their fried chicken breast dinner, Julie got the prime rib, Claire and Patty got personal pizza’s and I think Alana got soup and salad. All the food was good and the prices are probably mid-range, you are looking at between $18 and $40 depending on what you want, mine was $23. Yes, prices have gone up over the last year or so.

Our food came and as I said it was all good and good portion size, I would give them 5 stars and recommend you try them if you are in Portland. Portland really does have some great restaurants and is a very accepting city which is great. We had a wonderful dinner and yes as a small group we were all able to be involved in the same conversation although a couple times we didn’t but it was by choice.

After dinner we sat and talked some and yes a few of us had some trivia questions for the other ladies, yes that is something I like to do in both sides of my life. Now as I said they were not that busy so we didn’t feel bad sitting and talking after dinner and they are open till 11pm so we could have stayed later. So many places now close at 9 and some are not even open every day. One place we use to go and loved was Mother’s Bistro but they are closed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and only open early on Sunday so if we want to go there again, we would have to do a Thursday night. I really can’t wait for things to get back to normal again, hopefully soon. Our waitress brought our bills and I am sure she did well as I gave her a nice tip as I am sure the others did also. I think we tend to tip a little more than the normal people and for me I do it for 2 reasons, one I want to put a good spin on transgender people but also when a waiter or waitress treats us well and goes out of their way that deserves a bigger tip no matter who you are and in most cases I really do think we tend to get better service than the average customer. I think with everything going on today they want to make sure they don’t offend us and, in a way, I think that is bad. Part of what I want as Susan is to be treated like a lady, but like any other lady and that means the same and not extra attention. Now I am not saying I dislike it but I hope one day we will go out and be viewed just like anyone else. Claire got our waitress to take a few pictures and as it was okay with everyone I have posted.

It was probably 9:20 or so when we left, Patty offered Claire a ride home before I could which was fine, Claire lives downtown and is close to some of these places and will walk there but at this time of night I feel better if she can ride home with one of us and not I am not worried because she is transgender but I really don’t think any woman should walk alone downtown in any city. We said our goodbyes and made plans for next Wednesday, actually we have figured out where we will go the next 2 Wednesday night dinners which is nice.

Julie and I got in the car and we headed for her house to drop her off, next week she leaves on Thursday to go south again so she is a maybe for Wednesday night dinner so I was really enjoying this time with her tonight as I may not see her again for a few months. Now the funny thing is as we were talking I drove past the exit for the Camas Hwy which is how I go to take her home, I was just having a fun time talking with her and didn’t even think about it so we had to take the city center exit and loop back through the city to get back on the right road but it did give us an extra 5 minutes to talk. It was just about 10pm when we got to her house and I dropped her off and headed for home, what a wonderful evening.

Now I am looking forward to the weekend and some Susan time and yes, I need to go get my nails done as they have grown out too much for my male side, but they do look awesome.

Be safe and be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.