Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday August 10th at the Escape

Okay I am once again a week behind on my blog, Last Saturday I did make it out to the Escape for my normal Saturday night out. I had posted in group but got no response so I figured it could be a quiet night for our group. Now I got home a little later than normal so it was a rush as I do like to get there early. It is nice to eat and play on my computer before others start to show up and also it is a little quieter so you can talk before Karaoke starts. Well I got there right at 6 and went in. there were a few people there almost all sitting at the bar so I set up my computer at my normal table and went up to order dinner. Now I know a lot of the people who come here but not all by name. there is one lady who is always here when I get here and her name is Melissa and she always says hi to me and tells me how nice I look which I love and we always talk a little. She actually works here earlier in the day and then hangs out a little after she gets off work. Any way as we were talking. she said a couple times she was sorry and when I asked why she said I would figure it out. I really didn’t think anything of it. I got a couple selfies in the car before going in.

Well I got back to my table and a couple that also comes here early was also here and they came over and talked to me they were getting ready to leave and they are partiers and they had been drinking so it probably was a good idea for them to stop drinking but they are really nice. They left and a few minutes later this other guy came over and I could tell he had been drinking and he was okay to start, his name I think was Dave. He was playing a lot of music on the juke box and dancing around the bar and he kept stopping at my table to talk to me, it was kind of getting annoying but I was polite. Finally, he wanted me to get up and dance with him and I declined as I don’t dance but he would not take no for an answer and kept asking. Now every time he did come to my table, I could see the guy at the bar watching close to make sure nothing happened but this guy would not let up, he even offered me money if I would dance with him. Not sure what he was really looking for but I said no and he went back to the bar and then he left. Now I don’t know if the bar staff asked him to leave or they just refused to serve him any more drinks but I was glad he was gone. The whole thing only lasted about or minutes but it seemed longer. I guess I now know what some woman goes through with drunk men. I went up and got another drink (Sprite) and I told Melissa I finally realized why she had told me sorry, she apologized again as she had been the one serving him earlier. Any way no harm no foul and I could go back to my table in peace and quiet.

Bobbie showed up so I wasn’t alone which was nice so we talked for a little bit and then Michelle showed up so we had of us tonight. We sat and talked and had a good time. As it got close to 9 more people started coming in and it got busy. One lady came in and strangely enough her name is also Melissa and she comes in every once in a while, for karaoke and she is a really good singer and tonight she brought her husband in, she got married a couple months ago. Any way they came over and sat with us at our table and talked with us. She really is nice and her husband seems really nice also, he didn’t seem the least bit bothered sitting with us and even talked with me on and off through the evening. I even got a picture with her, and Melissa said we kind of look like sisters although she has a much prettier smile.

Karaoke started and of course it got loud so it was kind of hard to talk but it was still a fun night. Another girl from our group showed up and of course Lauri came in right before 10 so we had 5 of us tonight. Karaoke was fun and I sang along with some of the songs as again tonight a lot of them I knew and liked.

It was after 11 when I paid my bill and called it a night. it was fun though as I really do love going out with my friends and just people in general as Susan. it really helps me make Susan a normal part of my life and that is so important. I really think if you can accept yourself and all the parts of your life is so much better.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

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August 17, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday dinner at Southland whisky kitchen

It is Wednesday and that means going out to dinner with my friends which I so look forward to. now we are going to Southland Whisky kitchen where we have gone many times before. They have wonderful food and reasonable prices probably $15 to $25 depending on what you have. Now I got off early this week so I was home by 4:30 so I had time to get ready and even time to pick Julie up so I texted her to see if she wanted to ride with me, I was pretty sure she would say yes. I started getting ready and doing my makeup, I really enjoy my time doing my makeup as I slowly see the transformation and Susan start to appear. It really is a wonderful feeling. Now Julie texted me back and accepted my offer so I told her I would pick her up about 6:15. I was all ready and on my way. I got to her house at 6:12 and went in. she had just finished getting ready and so we were on our way. Now I expected a little more traffic but there was none and we got downtown by 6:35. Now parking in this area can be hard but I lucked out as the street right past Southland Whisky kitchen I decided to turn right and there was a spot a half block up. I think this is the first time I have not had to drive around looking for a spot.

Julie and I walked over and went in, they weren’t really busy but it took a few minutes to get a table big enough for us as we had 8 of us confirm we would be here tonight. We are getting a good turnout on our Wednesday night dinners lately usually 6 to 10. About the time our table was ready Melissa walked in so we went and sat down. Kris showed up right after we sat down. Now I had to get my nightly selfie of course. We ordered some drinks and waited for the rest to show up and we didn’t have to wait long. Patty and her girlfriend showed up followed by Jennifer and her wife. Now we had sat at one end of the table and left the other end for them as Jenifer’s wife wanted to talk to Patty’s girlfriend. They are both supportive but I think they wanted to talk and see how each are dealing with it as it is a different dynamic to a relationship. Now my dressing is just part of who I am and makes me who I am and we always think it shouldn’t matter but then again if I walked in on a lady I was seeing and she had on a short hair wig and a fake beard and mustache it would catch me off guard. Part of my being Susan is dressing and presenting as I do is what I find attractive in woman. A woman with nice makeup, hair, nails and in a dress and heels is perfect. Now that being said I would support them but I would be different so I can understand it and I think it is awesome of them making it work.

Now our waitress was awesome, she has waited on us before when we were here, her name is Evelyn and she is wonderful. She took our orders and then we all talked as we waited for our food. These dinners are really great as we all get to sit and talk which for some reason as Susan I enjoy. My male self is not big on just sitting around and talking, I feel I need to be doing something. I also think as Susan the reason I like talking more is I don’t feel like I am hiding things. Now I know I am not completely honest about everything in my life as Susan to everyone but on my male life I feel I am hiding half of who I am and that can make it hard to talk to people and open up. The girls in the group all understand that as they have gone through it also.

Now I had to get a picture with Julie tonight as I always forget and the picture just turned so cute with us, we both look so awesome. Our food came and as always it was wonderful, I have tried several things and they are all good but my favorite is their pulled pork and BBQ chicken thigh and for a side dish their cheddar au gratin potatoes are awesome. We all sat and talked as we ate and had a wonderful time.

After dinner we sat for a while, a coupe of the girls ordered dessert, I was good and didn’t as I am really trying to cut sugar out of my diet, yes, I still drink pop but I am avoiding as much as I can. Julie got an ice cream dessert and it looked good; well it was good as I did have 2 bites but that was all, Evelyn our wonderful waitress brought our bills and she split them up for us which is always nice. It was almost 10 when we called it a night. it really was a wonderful night out with my friend, my t-girl family.

Julie and I walked back to my car; I still can’t get over how easily I walk down the street as Susan now. The drive home was nice as Julie and I talked more. It really is way more fun to go out with someone and Julie is just so wonderful to spend time with. It is funny as when I first started going out it was all about being out as Susan and in a way it still is, the reason I go to Starbucks for nights like tonight it really was all about being out with my friends, where we go or what we do is not that important, it is being out with my sisters.

I dropped Julie off and drove the rest of the way home as my night came to an end but it was a wonderful night out and I look forward to when I can go out with my friends again.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 10, 2019 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Small group for Saturday night at the Escape

It is Saturday and yes that means I get to go out to the Escape but before I get into today’s blog, I have a brief political statement so if you don’t want to read my thoughts skip to the next paragraph. There have been 2 mass shooting in the last 2 days and one last week and everyone is politicizing it for their point of view. My 2 cents, first it is not the gun that committed these crimes it is the person, they are to blame. It is not the parent’s fault, societies fault, not his gender, sex, races fault, the fault is solely the person doing the shooting. Blaming anyone else or anything else is. Second, we need to get away from calling them white racist, blacks, whites or what ever else you can throw in as all this does is give them what they want, fame. The one in Texas has his name and picture all over the internet with all the stuff he was posting and looking at and that just gives others ideas. All that should have been said was a criminal (or terrorist if you like) killed people. Anything more just impowers them and people like them. Call him the suspect, killer, terrorist but not his name or what group he belongs to or supports. Now back to my regularly scheduled blog

I got home a little later today so it will be closer to 6 when I get to the Escape but that is okay. Now a few people have asked why I like going here so much as I pretty much go here every week and it really is not about the Escape although it is a wonderful, friendly place, it I about having something that is consistent for our members. Our Wednesday night dinners rotate so you really must be following the post to know where we will be plus for some of the newer girls it can be intimidating to go into some place they have never been. The girls all know that on a Saturday night there will almost always be someone here at the Escape from our group. Now I started getting ready and I was ready by 5:30 and on my way. I got to the Escape just before 6 and went in and it was really quiet. About 6 people sitting at the bar and that was it, so I got my normal table and ordered dinner.

I got out my computer and wrote my blog from Wednesday night’s dinner at Rock Bottom as I ate. After that I caught up on e-mails and just played on my computer. Kris was the only one who posted she would be here although one other girl said she might try, and I am pretty sure Lauri will be here around 10. Now it was almost 8 when Kris showed up which was nice as the battery on my laptop was just about done and now, I had someone to talk with, it was a lot of fun. Soon it was 9 and time for Karaoke and the crowd was still small. Kris asked if I wanted to sing with her and as the crowd was small, I figured why not so she showed me her play list on her phone and as she was scrolling I saw the song To Sir with Love and this song had 3 things I liked, first I new it, second it is a slow song so you don’t have to sing fast, and last it is only 2:35 long so I told her I would do that one so she went up and put our names in.

Well Karaoke started and it turns out we were the first to sing. Now there were a few more people here so it was a little intimidating, but I just looked at the words on the screen and didn’t look around and it was kind of fun. W sat back down and talked some more as we listened to others sing. Now Kris asked me again to sing with her so as there was not a big crowd, yet I said I would, so she gave me her phone to see what I knew of her songs. Now this is where I felt old as I didn’t recognize a lot of the songs from their titles, I mainly listen to 80’s & 90’s on the radio. The ones I did know and felt I knew well enough to sing were all duets. Well I picked the song I’ve had the time of my life from the movie Dirty Dancing as it is still a slower song. Now Kris wanted to listen to it, so she went outside to play it on her phone.

Now this is where it falls apart as while she was outside for maybe 5 minutes listening to it a bunch of people came in. well Kris came in and went up and put our names in but there was now a long list in front of us to sing which cause 2 problems, first it gave me time to think about it as I waited and 2 there would be more people coming in before we got to sing. Well Lauri showed up just before 10 so there were 3 of us. Kris and Lauri played a game of pool a we listened to people sing and we had a great time. Michelle and her wife showed up. I have met Michelle a couple times, but she was in male mode tonight, I don’t think she is in our group I think I just met her here one night. She lives up north and they were down for the weekend and she talked her wife into coming in for a little while to meet us, wish we had a bigger group tonight. Her wife is having a hard time with it but trying which I a start. I got to talk with them a little, but they didn’t stay long.

It was getting late and soon it was 11pm so I went up and paid my bill. I came back to the table and was getting ready to say my goodbyes when the guy running Karaoke called out Kris and my names, I had forgot Kris put our names in and I was so close to missing it. Well the 2 of us went up and sang and it went okay, and I had fun, but it is way different when I sing 1 part and Kris sings another. I just looked straight at the TV screen and the words and didn’t look around. Now this song is twice as long as the earlier one and there were a lot more people here bow. I made it through though and soon we were back to our table. While we sang Wendy came in, so we had 4 from our group tonight. I said my goodbyes and it was time to leave but it was a fun night.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in my life. By the way just noticed this is blog 1201, never thought I would have that many blog posts.

August 5, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Rock Bottom

It is Wednesday again and that means Wednesday night dinner. We are gong to Rock Bottom in downtown Portland. We have gone here many times over the years, and it is always good food and wonderful service. Now we had posted it and only had 4 say they would be here and 1 maybe so it could be one of our smaller groups. Now normally I ma rushed to get ready as I usually don’t get home from work till 5:30 or later but tonight was a good night. I snuck out of work a little early as I will work extra tomorrow and then traffic for some reason was good, so I got home about 4:50 which was nice. Now with the extra time I would have tie to go pick Julie up so I texted her and she said that would be wonderful. Its only a little but out of my way but way more fun to have someone with you for the ride and no sense in both of us paying parking and gas. Of course, this would mean I would have to rush again but so worth it. I was ready and out my door by 5:45 and on my way to pick Julie up.

I got to Julie’s house about 6:10 and she was just finishing getting ready. The two of us were on our way by 6:15 so we had time even with traffic which it turns out there was none so we got downtown Portland about 6:35 and I was circling around the block to go to the parking garage but luck was with us as I found a parking spot on the street about a block away. It cost a while .70 cents for parking till 7 when they stop charging. Over the years I can’t count the number of times I have put .40 to .70 on my credit for parking, with the fees on credit cards I don’t know how they make it worthwhile? Tonight, Julie picked up the parking so the .70 went on her credit card.

We walked the block to Rock Bottom and went in and they were not busy so they could seat us right away even though most of our girls were not here yet. We got a big booth that could fit 6 and ordered drinks as we waited. Melissa was the first to show up followed by Jennifer and Kris and even Karen showed up, so we had all 6 of us here. Drinks came and our appetizer, Julie got one of their pretzels for the table, thanks Julie. Now Barb showed up, so we had 7 and no seat for her but the staff quickly put a couple tables near by together and moved us over there. Like I say the staff here is wonderful as really then staff at every place we go is.

We all ordered our dinners and then sat and talked. Kris sat to my right and Julie and Jennifer were across from me and as tonight I was on the end, they were the main ones I talked with. I did talk with Keren and Mellissa a little but Barb was way down on the other end so kind of hard to talk with her which was sad as she is leaving on her extended summer vacation in a few days so it will be a month or two till she gets out with the group. But it was fun to sit and talk.

Our food came and yes, I got their Chicken Fried Chicken which is really good. Kris and Barb also ordered it tonight. We all sat and talked as we ate. About halfway through another one of our girls showed up, she was in male mode though. She just got off work and as she works nearby, she walked over to join us for a little while, so we had 8 of us tonight. Now I will admit when she first sat down next to me I pause and wondered who this man was sitting down but then I recognized her, I have seen her a few times in her male mode but some of the girls had never met her this way which is always fun. It is funny as when I first started going out, I wouldn’t give any information about my male side and now a lot of the girls have seen me as my male self, but it is always fun to guess who the person is.

After we ate we sat and talked and had a great time, by the way tonight I didn’t finish my chicken so I took a piece home as leftovers which I pretty much never do as I know the likely hood of me eating it is small but I have high hopes. It was after 10 when we called it an evening and I think we were some of the last people in there. We all walked out together and pause out front to say our goodbyes as we all parked different directions. Now I took my phone out to check the time and realized I hadn’t gotten a picture tonight, so I took one with the city street behind me. Keren walked part way with Julie and I as she parked in the same direction at least for a block. I joked with them if 10 years ago they thought they would be walking the downtown streets of Portland at night as their female self and Keren said not even a couple years ago, she would have thought this possible.

Julie and I got to my car and off we went as I drove Julie home and we had more time to talk. I still can’t believe how much Susan like to have conversations. There really are some differences between my make and female side and one of the biggest is how much more comfortable and outgoing I am as Susan and I think that is because I am not hiding who I am. Now the drive home took awhile as the exit we take was closed for construction, so we had to go through part of the city. I dropped Julie off at her house and was on my way home and yes once again there was construction that had the freeway down to 1 lane and what should have been a 25 minute ride home became 45 minutes so it turned out to be a late night for Susan but so worth it.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 4, 2019 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday night and Susan gets out again

It is Saturday and yes once again I get to go out and be female self for a few hours. Now being Susan, being female is very important to me and something I need in my life but as I have said before it is not all of who I am or all of what I need. My male side is also important to me and I need that part also in my life. It took me years to figure out who I am and I need both sides of who I am to be complete, it is both sides of me that make me who I am and I would not change that for anything.

I started getting ready early with the hope of getting to the Escape early but with the extra time I was able to slow down and enjoy my getting ready. There is just something I find so enjoyable and relaxing about doing my makeup and getting ready and transforming myself to Susan. it really is a wonderful feeling and I was ready a little later than I planned but I was still able to get to the Escape by 6. I went in and they were not busy at all, there were 2 women at a table and that was it. I got my normal table and set up my computer and then ordered dinner, yes, my normal Hamburger. I worked on my blog from Wednesday night dinner at Hobo’s. my food came and it was good as always. I had been there about 15 minutes when the other 2 ladies left and yes, I was the only one there other than the staff. I think this is the first time I have been the only one here. It was only 15 or 20 minutes and then a few others came in but it was a little weird. I did take a couple selfies as I sat here.

It wasn’t long and Michelle and another girl showed up so I put my computer away so we could talk. It really is nice to have friends out with you and I have some wonderful friends. It was about 7:30 when Bobbie showed up so our group was getting a little bigger and shortly after that Jan & Lynn showed up so we had 6 now and I knew that around 10 Lauri would show up.

As it got closer to 9 more people started showing up for Karaoke which is the big draw here on Saturday nights. It gets loud and hard to talk but still fun to listen to the people sing. Now normally a lot of the songs that are sung I don’t know, yes I am older then the average person here but even the songs I know are usually not what I would call my favorites, you know the ones you know the words to and want to sing along with. Well tonight was awesome as I knew pretty much all the songs, and most were ones I knew and could sing along with. It really was a fun night here.

By 9:30 it was so busy 3 girls came over and asked if they could sit at the end of our table and as we only had 7 of us and seats for 11, I said sure and they sat down. Now they turned the hairs to watch the people singing so I really couldn’t talk to them, but it was nice to have a full table. Cynthia the lady we met last week was also here with a friend and they sat at the next table, so I did get to talk with her a little again. I must say the people here are awesome and friendly it really is a wonderful place to go.

Now normally I stay till 10 or some sometimes later and tonight I was ready to leave by 10:30 but it was so busy and I didn’t want to stand in line to pay my bill I kept waiting in hopes the line would die off but it never really did. It was about 11:15 when I decided I was going to have to stand in the line to pay my bill or I would be here all night. It was about 11:40 by the time I paid my bills and said my goodbyes for the night, so it was a late night for Susan but so worth it.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new with Susan.

August 3, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner at Hobo’s

It is Wednesday and that means dinner with my friends and tonight we are going to Hobo’s downtown Portland. It has been over a year since we went here for dinner, last time was back in June of 2018. Now I only posted last night and we have 12 going tonight if everyone makes it. Now it was a long drive home as traffic was bad and all I could think about was I would be late. Now the reason was thinking this is I drive almost right by this part of Portland on my commute home and this is about the midpoint of my commute so as I inched along and I watched it get later and later and I could see the traffic the other way which I would also be in later coming back I was thinking how would I make it by 7pm. Normally I get home about 5:30 give or take 15 minutes but today I pulled into my garage at 5:50 I had 1 hour and 10 minutes to get changed and become Susan and get back downtown. Now on the way home I worked out what o would wear and how I would do my makeup and that always makes it easier so it was right into the house and the race to get ready was on. I was ready and pulling out of my garage as Susan at 6:23

Now luck was with me as the traffic had cleared the way I was going ad most of the way it was at or above the speed limit. I got downtown about 6:45 and I saw Jan & Lynn walking down the street so I went and found a parking spot about 2 blocks away, I did get a quick selfie before getting out of the car. Now it is so amazing how easily I can get out of the car and walk the couple blocks as Susan, I have come a long way in my comfort level as Susan. I got inside and Jan, Lynn and Dannie were there. Now Hobo’s usually is not that busy at this time of night so I didn’t make reservation and there was no problem. We went upstairs where he could put some tables together for our group and we waited for others to show up.

It wasn’t long and others showed up, Mellissa, Julie, Kris, Christie, Patty and her girlfriend Kelly and Jennifer in all we had 11 tonight which was awesome considering the late posting of dinner tonight. We sat and talked for a little bit before we ordered. Now they have really good food here dinners will run you $20 to $30 so a little more than our normal dinner but not bad. Now I had a choice to make as they have really good Chicken Parmesan and also a wonderful Prime Rib and I love both. How do you decide, well luck was on my side as Julie was the first to order and she ordered the Prime Rib and it turns out that was the last of it so I ordered the Chicken Parmesan, of course Julie would share a little piece of her prime rib with me which was so sweet of her.

Now I sat in the middle of the table so I could try and talk with everyone but with such a big group it was hard. our Wednesday night dinners are really a wonderful event as it gives us a chance to talk and get to know each other better in a quiet, relaxing atmosphere. Plus, it was also a special night as it was also Lynn’s birthday so we all wished her a happy Birthday, we should have sung to her though but I think she had a good birthday with us.

Now we had a wonderful dinner and great conversation. I got an e-mail from a newer member to our group asking what she could expect if she came to one of our events and I had never really thought about that probably because no one ever asked me that. I had to think about it and all I could come up with s it is no different then going out with people you know. We really don’t do anything special we are just a group of friends out having dinner. Yes, we dress different then most people would think we should but we are just out having dinner and enjoying our friendship. I know for me I really am not even thinking about how I am dressed, maybe because Susan has become such a natural part of who I am but I would think a lot of the girls are not focused on how they are dressed. They are just being themselves. I think this is the main thing to remember is we are just being who we are like you are.

Well after dinner we all sat and talked for a while, I really think none of us wanted the night to come to an end as we were all having so much fun. There is just something about being out and being who you are and being accepted. It was almost 10 when we all left. Julie, Dannie and I walked across the street and walked through CC Slaughters to see what was going on. We use to go here all the time, now I think the only time we go here is to walk through it when we are in the area and only when Julie is with use. It really was a wonderful night.

Thanks for reading and be sure to check out my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 27, 2019 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Yes, another Saturday night at the Escape

It is Saturday and once again I get to go out as Susan, yes, I will be going to the Escape tonight. Now I pretty much go here every Saturday night and that may seem boring to some but there is a good reason. Now on our Wednesday night dinners we go to a bunch of different places to eat and it can sometimes be 4 to 6 months before we go to the same place twice which really is fun and nice but it is also good to have a regular place where some just know wee will be there and can get use to and feel really comfortable especially if they are new to going out. I remember when I first started going out, we went to Embers every Friday night and really most Saturday night. it didn’t matter which week it was I just knew I could go there and find friends and it became a real comfortable place to go. So, I really like the idea of having a night that everyone just knows they can go there and have others there. Now my plan was to get there between 6 & 7 as I had some things I needed to do, yes I needed to do some work in my yard but it was a hot day upper 80’s and so I didn’t last long outside, I like my air conditioned house better so I went in early and started getting ready so I was on my way by 5.

I got to the Escape at 5:30 and actually had to park on the street. Now they were a little busy but most were sitting at the bar so I got my normal table and set up my computer and then ordered dinner, my normal hamburger. I wrote my blog from Wednesday’s night dinner and then caught up on e-mails as I waited for others to show up. Bobbie was the first to show up about 6:30 and Michele wasn’t far behind her so we had 3 of us here early. It is nice to get there early as you can talk before it gets to loud. I really do like this time just sitting around and talking, one of the big differences between my male and female sides.

Audri was the next to arrive, she has come out briefly with us a couple times before but she got her tonight early so was able to spend more time with us. It was really great to talk with her and get to know her better. I even got a picture with her that she said I could post, very important as I won’t post someone else’s picture without their permission. I think Audri had fun tonight as she was always smiling, I remember when I first went out, I always had a smile on my face as I was just so happy to be able to be out as Susan.

Now we had a lady sitting at the next table named Cynthia and she came over to talk to us. She is not trans but really was interested in us and I think she liked trans woman. So, we all talked with her and she must have sat at our table talking with us for an hour or so. It was really nice as I always enjoy getting to know new people. The funny thing is in talking to her I found out where she lives and it is only a mile or so from where I live. Be interesting if I run into her sometime when I am not Susan.

Laura M also showed up as she was picking her girlfriend up at the airport a little later so she joined us for a little while. It was great to see her again. Jennie also showed up tonight which was a surprise as it is always on a Wednesday night dinner when she shows up. I got to talk to them a little which was nice. Wendy and another girl also showed up so we had a really good group tonight. Lauri also showed up about 10, I always know it is close to the time for me to leave as I am not the late-night girl I use to be.

Now it was hard to talk now with Karaoke going so we would talk between the songs and we just had a wonderful evening. It was finally time for Audri to leave I think she had a fun night and I hope she will come out with the group again, maybe a Wednesday night dinner. I stayed a little later as it was a little after 11 when I paid my bill and called it a night. here is a picture I took in my car when I got here tonight. It really was a wonderful night out.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what I am up to as Susan

July 23, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner at Amaro’s Table in Vancouver

It is Wednesday night and we are having dinner in Vancouver at Amaro’s Table; we have eaten here before back in February and it is very nice but a little small so Barb who picked tonight’s dinner made reservations as it looks like we will have 8 to 10. Now I love the Wednesday night dinners but they are hard to make as I get off so late, it Is usually 5:30 give or take 15 minutes when I get home so it is always a rush as most places we got take at least a half hour to get there but tonight is closer so I have a little more time which is nice as it was almost 5:40 when I got home. now I have figured out the secret to getting ready fast. Chose your outfit the night before and don’t change your mind. So, when I got home my dress was on my bed along with my heels and it was just a matter of doing my makeup and getting ready. I was ready and pulling out of my garage at 6:20 and on my way and tonight it should only take about 10 minutes to get there. I got downtown Vancouver at 6:35 and found a parking spot right on the corner opposite the door, yes parking is easier in Vancouver and they stop charging at 6 which is nice also.

I went in and Barb, Jonnie and Nicole were already there so I sat down between Barb and Nicole. Our waitress came over to see if I wanted a drink and of course I did so I ordered my usual, a sprite, yes, I drink the hard stuff. Actually, I have never cared for Alcohol, growing up my parents would let me have a little at home if I wanted and it never became that big of a thing. Yes, I can drink a beer or a little wine now and then but if you give me options, they would be the last on my list. I often joke with some of the girls that my best friend on my male side of over 35 years who doesn’t know about Susan, if you told him you saw me in a bar dressed as a women, I really think he would be more shocked I was at a bar.

Well it wasn’t long and Melissa, Julie and Kris showed up so we had 7 and 2 had to cancel so that would be it for the night. I think back to when I first started going out if we got 6 or 8 on a Friday or Saturday night at Embers which was an LGBT club, we were having a great night. now we can get 7 at a small restaurant in downtown Vancouver. We have come a long way in the last 10 plus years. Well we all ordered dinner and then sat and talked and with the smaller group it was easy for everyone to be involved in the conversation which is always nice. Now our waitress was awesome tonight but really, we pretty much always get wonderful service and I sometimes wonder if they try a little harder because we are transgender. Don’t get me wrong as I love the great service but part of what I am going for is to be accepted and treated like any other woman not necessarily better but equal.

Now I ordered their classic fried chicken which is awesome but what really makes this a wonderful dinner option is it comes with mashed potatoes and a honey butter to go on it which is wonderful, I would highly recommend this as a dinner choice. Well we all sat around and talked as we ate and had a wonderful time. People came and went and I did see a couple people look over at us mostly men and I always wonder what they are thinking and if they are secretly wishing they could dress up and go out with us. Mostly people didn’t pay any attention to us though. It was so nice to spend time with my wonderful friends; this is actually Nicole’s 3rd time out with us in a month which is awesome a she lives a couple hours away.

We finished dinner and a couple of the girls ordered dessert, I was a good girl and didn’t as I am trying to cut sugar out of my diet which is hard. I know Sprite has sugar in it but what I am talking about is the cookies, chocolate and all the other deserts that I was eating way too much as I have no will power when it comes to them. If I don’t eat them, I don’t miss them but once I have some I crave more. I wonder if this is how people who smoke feel. Our waitress kept checking on us as I said she was awesome; I wish I had got her name. If you are looking for a nice place in Vancouver for dinner Amaro’s Table should be at the top of your list.

Now the night went by so fats as they always do and as we sat there talking, I noticed it was getting dark outside a sign it getting late but we were just having so much fun. Soon it was dark and we all knew it was time to call it a night as it was after 10. We all paid our bills and said our goodbyes which is always hard. some of these girls are my best friends and really more like family, sisters. I really am blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life. We all left and again one of the great things about dinner in Vancouver is the parking as we were all able to park close. Now even thought it was after 10 when we left, I only had a 10-minute drive home so still got home about the normal time.

It was a wonderful night out as always and I am already looking forward to Saturday when I will once again get to go out. Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new with Susan.

July 20, 2019 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My first time going out someplace as Susan

Okay last week I posted a blog from Starbucks’s about my journey to be who I am and I got some good feedback on that. I was hoping by sharing it might help others trying to get out for the first time. Now I remember the night really well as most of us do as it is such a pivotal point in our lives, I just can’t remember exactly when it was. I think it was in the late 90’s maybe 1998 or 1999 but the date is not important.

I stated off dressing just at home and then late-night drives and maybe Burger Kings drive through and once or twice if I was out late enough, past 2:30am when alcohol sales end I did hit a 7-11 to buy some milk just to see and that was so scary. I also rented a motel room a couple times for a weekend and went and got acrylic nails but again I spent the day either in the motel room or I went out as my male self and kept my hands in my pocket and then did late night drives and I made sure my nail appointment was the last of the night so the fewest people saw me. Now that was over, I was bound and determined to go out as Susan and be seen. I had herd of a place called Embers, it is closed now. It was bar with a dance floor in back and they did Drag shows a couple nights a week and I had herd other t-girls went there so it was perfect. Now as I don’t remember the actual date, I do know it was warm outside so I am thinking it was late spring or summer.

I got all dressed up on a Saturday night, did my makeup without the lipstick. Put my dress on and heels and then a big coat over it with my wig on the seat next to me I put on my sunglasses, pulled the visor down and opened my garage door and pulled out and I was on my way. I stopped at a park and took my coat off, put my hair on and did my lipstick in the rearview mirror. This was a lot of work and effort to get this far, the hard part was over or at least I thought. I drove downtown Portland and found Embers, they had a parking lot across the street but you had to pay and I just couldn’t bring myself to do that so I drove around a little and found a spot across the street about half a block up facing Embers and as it was almost 8 I didn’t have to pay to park. Now it was just walking about 200 feet to the corner, crossing the street and going in piece of cake right, no it is not.

There were people parking and walking on the sidewalks and coming and going not only from Embers but other businesses around. I sat in my car till it was clear and then I started to open the door and here came someone else. This went on and on and I sat there unable to get out of the car. I kept looking over and my goal was so close but yet so far and then finally a little after 9, more than an hour sitting in my car I gave up and drove home. I just couldn’t get out of the car. I was so scared and when I got home, I was so disappointed. All that effort to get out of the house and go out and this was how it ended but I told myself that was it. Next Saturday I was going to do it. All week long I thought about what went wrong and the fact I just didn’t know about all the people out so now I was prepared.

Next Saturday came and I went through all the work to go out just like last week and got downtown Portland and parked in almost the same spot. I was ready and then I saw the other people and the same fears came back and once again I sat in the car for a little over an hour before going home disappointed but with the resolve I would do it again next week and I would be successful. Next Saturday came and I went through all the work and got out again and this tie I was able to park a little closer so that would make the difference but again no it wouldn’t. I just couldn’t open the car door. Once again, a little over an hour and I once again was on my way home for the time in weeks but I was determined to do it next week

The following Saturday I once again went through all the work to go out and again I parked almost the same spot. I was going to make it but once again every time I thought it was clear and started to open my door, I saw someone else walking and closed it. I sat there for over an hour and couldn’t get out of the car. I kept going over and over in my mind why not, it was fear. It was about 9:15 and I once again had been sitting in my car for over an hour and once again I gave up. I started my car and was waiting for traffic to clear so I could pull out and wasn’t watching the people walking by when I herd someone tap on my car window. I turned and it was another T-girl so I rolled down the window and she smiled at me and asked if I was going in and if I wanted to walk in with her. I don’t know if she realized what this meant to me but she was like a gift from heaven and I said yes and with her help I got out of my car, scared to death and we walked in together.

Her name was Lori and though I only saw her once after tonight I will forever remember her and her kindness. We went inn and she stayed with me and introduced me to all the security people there and the bar staff. She was wonderful and made me feel so welcome and not alone. I told her my store I just shared with you and she told me how safe and accepting this place was and then she told me about several other places t-girls go and offered to take me so about 11:30pm we went out and got in her van and we drove over to CC Slaughters and went in and once again she introduced me to the staff. We also walked around the corner to fox and Hound and checked that out and then over to Habbo’s. then back in her van and over to another place I can’t remember the name and checked it out introducing me to the staff again. It was after 1 am now and we once again were back in her van and we drove several blocks to Pan a Rama to check that place out, they charge a cover but only on men so we got to go in for free. We stayed here till almost 3am before leaving. Back in her van and she drove me back to my car and told me she hoped to see me out again. I couldn’t thank her enough as it was probably the best night of my life. I was so excited and on such a high I could barely contain myself as I got in my car and drove home. I git home and went to my room and collapsed on the bed and I was out till morning. I woke up just as I was the night before still wearing the same dress and makeup.

I took a shower and cleaned up and had breakfast as I replayed the night before in my mind. It was so awesome and such a dream came true and then reality set in. I thought to myself, my god I got in a strange girl van I had just met and went off with her all over town. Even as my male self I would not have done that, it worked out well but it did scare me as I was so happy to meet someone like me that I dud let my guard down. Now don’t get me wrong Lori was an awesome person and an answer to my prayers but I did make a mental not to be more careful when I was out. Now it was several months before I went out again and I ran into Lori and thanked her again and I hope she knows what that night meant to me. But as I was only going out every few months that was the last time, I saw her. I often wonder what happened to her. she showed me a kindness I could never repay and so I try to help other girls trying to go out for the first time and if this store can help it is well worth the post.

A little long but I hope if you read it you got something out of it. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what I am up to now.

July 16, 2019 Posted by | Advice and tips, Out and about as Susan, Thoughts on Crossdressing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Sunday Susan time at Starbucks but first a badly needed pedicure

It is Sunday and I have some free time and that means Susan time. My plan was to go to Starbucks and write my Blog from Saturday night, I am going to make an effort to post them quicker. I started getting ready about 2:30 so it was a little earlier. I got my makeup done and got dressed, I went casual as my time at Starbucks is to blend in the best I can. Now don’t get me wrong I know I don’t pass but when I go out the goal is to be accepted and treated as a lady and to me that is passing and that does mean dressing appropriate for where I am going. Now I wore my black leggings that come mid-calf, a nice top and sandals and yes that also means hip pads to fill out my hips and my corset to suck everything else in and give me a nice shape. I was all ready and it was about 3:45 and I looked at my toes and I really do need a pedicure. I think I have been putting it off as I am not sure where to go. I went to Dream Nails for several years and I really do like them and they treated me so wonderful but it has been over a year since I was there and I feel a little off just going in there now as I was going there every 2 to 3 weeks for a few years so I debated about going there but in the end I went to Natural nails which is just a few blocks further. This is where I got my pedicure before Diva Las Vegas and they did a wonderful job, as a matter of fact it held up really well. It has grown out and I did get one chip on a toe by I filed the nails down and they still looked good other then the grow out as it was March 20th almost 4 months.

I called them when I was leaving to see if they could fit me in and they could so t told them I would be there in about 10 minutes. I parked and went in and they were a little busy, 5 people getting pedicures and 1 getting her nails filled so I had to wait a few minutes. I picked out my color and yes, I love red but for summer I wanted something a little brighter so I picked a color called That’s Berry Daring pink. I was seated and they started on my pedicure. There were 2 women to my right and 2 woman and a man to my left. Now it is really relaxing in here as they place really soft mellow music and there really is no talking and it wasn’t just me. The ladies doing the pedicures just did the pedicures and most of the people were on their cell phones. That is one of the things I miss about Dream nails as the women there all talked to the people and it just felt more welcoming. Don’t get me wrong they do a wonderful job but I think as Susan I like the more social aspect of it. Now it was a little warm inside here of course I probably didn’t help I was wearing a corset underneath. The girl did a wonderful job on my feet and they look and feel so much better. Now they were busy and people kept coming in and they all seemed to be just walk-ins. Probably why I was able to get in.

A man brought an older man in for a pedicure as I am guessing he was unable to cut his own toenails. I actually thought about doing this for my dad before he passed away but as he didn’t know about Susan I didn’t. there were also 2 high school boys that came in, I am guessing 16 or so and they wanted to get pedicures. I have seen men getting pedicures but this is the first time I have seen boys that young. I am taking this as a good sign that maybe men going to nails salons is becoming more acceptable. I was there a little over an hour before I was done and on may way. I kind of wanted to wait a little and see if the young boys got a color put on but it was a little after 5 and I needed to get to Starbucks and write my blog from last night and start on this one so I can have this one done and posted by tomorrow.

It was about 5:15 when I got to Starbucks and they were a little busy but most were sitting out front at the tables outside which I thought about as it is a beautiful day, about 82 out but in the shade it is perfect. But as I said all the tables outside were taken o I went in and got one by the window and went and ordered my drink. One of the girls behind the counter making the drinks greeted me by name and asked how my day was going. That just make you feel wonderful inside and I know it is part of their job to learn the regular’s names but still an awesome feeling. This is what I was talking about as far as passing in public. I know she knows I was not born female but still she treated me as if I was. Girl if you can go out and have this happen to you, you have passed, I have gone to many different Starbucks over the years and I have always been treated this way at all of them. Yes, I have gotten a couple looks at first at a couple but once they realize who I am then everything is good.

I caught up on some e-mails and wrote my blog from last night and then started on this one. Now I was going to write today about my first time really going out somewhere but as I did the pedicure and that took up part of this blog and I don’t want to go to long as I feel that is a lot to ask for you to read a book, I try to keep my blogs around 1,000 words so I think I will make that its own blog post about my first time out so you can look for that hopefully in the next few days.

I stayed here till almost 8 before leaving and heading for home. I made a quick stop for gas and something to eat on the way. thanks for reading and be sure and check out my newest blog for what is new in my life.

July 15, 2019 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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