Saturday and a little Susan time and going to Willamette National Cemetery

Happy Mother’s Day Weekend. It is a beautiful weekend sunny and close to 90 today. I got up and went to the gym as always and then came home and did some yard work before it got to hot, I lasted till about 12:30pm outside before I was cooked. Yes when I am working in the yard I have no desire to be Susan as Susan does not like getting hot, dirty, or sweaty, that is my male sides job. I started getting ready about 1:30 and took my time. I have been working harder on my winged eye liner and I think I am getting better at it as I was happy with how it turned out today. I was all ready by 2:30pm and took a few pictures. My plan for the day was to go to the Cemetery and put flowers on my parents’ grave for Mother’s Day. I was going to stop and get flowers but I knew the stores would be packed, especially the floral departments so I went another way. My mom loved Lilacs and I have two planted in my back yard in each corner, yes my parents gave them to me when I bought my house so I went out and cut some off to take.

I got to Willamette National Cemetery a little after 3 pm and there were a lot of people here, in the section my parents are in there were 2 different couples and a group of 5 placing flowers but not real close to where I was going. I walked out and placed the flowers on the graves, it is nice to be here on Mother’s Day as I have said before my family was big on celebrating holidays together. I really did have wonderful parents, they taught me and my brother to work hard, be kind to others and take responsibility for your actions. I do think sometimes about if I should have told my parents about this side of me as they did say they had always wanted a daughter but only had 2 boys but by the time I was at a point where I might have considered telling them they had some short-term memory issues and I think it would have been hard for them although I like to think they would have been supportive of me. A few of the people left and a few more came as I think a lot of people think like I do and wanted to bring flowers for Mother’s Day. I stayed maybe 30 minutes as it got hot standing out in the sun. I left and headed home and decided to stop at the Starbucks in Orchards for a cool drink and I needed to write my blog from Wednesday nights dinner.

I got to the SR 500 exit and traffic came to a stop and just crawled from there so it took a little longer to get there. As I got to the split between SR 500 and 112^th street there was a couple police cars, two ambulances and a fire engine blocking Most of the ramp to SR 500, a couple cars pulled over ahead of them and one motorcycle that was badly damaged. There were two stretchers but just a sheet covering them so I think the people on the motorcycle didn’t make it. I got to Starbucks a little about 4:15 and went in. I got a drink and sat down to write my blog from Wednesday dinner. I do like coming to Starbucks to write my blog when I am Susan. It is just more fun to be out as Susan doing this then at my house as my male self, writing my blog. I did that for many years, I would go out as Susan with the girls on Friday night and Saturday morning write my blog as I ate breakfast as my male self. It was like telling a story about someone else, now I try to write all my blogs when I am Susan as it feels like I am writing about myself. I stayed here till 5:45 before leaving.

Now it was almost 6 and I didn’t want to go home and cook and I had a craving for pizza so I called COSTCO to get a pizza but I called to late as they were not taking any more orders for today as they close at 7pm. My next choice was Papa John’s so I called them and ordered one for pickup, I have gone to this one a couple of times both male and female and when I gave them my phone number they asked if it was for Susan or my male name so I am guessing they know as I know they know Susan is Transgender. I got there and went in and my pizza had just come out, the young lady who helped me was probably 20 give or take a couple years and was really pleasant. After I paid and as she handed me my receipt she told me I looked marvelous which made me feel good and I thanked her and left.

It was about 6:30 when I got home and had dinner and watched a couple movies on Hallmark channel, not Christmas ones but still good. Now I am looking forward to Sunday and a little Susan time in the afternoon at my regular Sunday Starbucks.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Sunday and my usual trip to Starbucks

It is Sunday and I am loving my nails I got yesterday. There is just something about a red nail that I love. I slept in today as I was out to late last night with the time change bit had a great time. It was a little after 12 when I started getting ready and took my time. I did try a different eye look today, normally I do the darker shades on the outer part of my eye and lighter on the inner but I saw a picture where they did lighter just on the lid with the darker from the inner corner up over the lid to the outer corner so I decided to give it a try. I am not sure about it, with my eyes closed it looks good but when my eyes are open I think he darker shadow on the inner corner makes my eyes look less bright. Yes I am playing with makeup today and trying something new. If you don’t know from my blogs I love pretty nails and makeup. The one piece of advice I give to girls starting out is don’t be afraid to try new looks and different makeups till you find what you like. During COVID when things were shut down and I was dressing just at home I would try several looks and sometime redo my makeup a few times each day till I got the look I wanted. It is amazing how changing the shade of your foundation and lipstick can change your look. I was all ready by 1:30 and took a few pictures before leaving for Starbucks, yes I am a little earlier than normal today.

I got to my Starbucks and they were packed, all the tables were taken and just 3 of the 6 seats at the counter along the window were taken, there were 10 people waiting for their drinks and 5 people in line to order so I figured I would be sitting at the counter today at least till a seat opened. I ordered my drink and then stood and waited. I had been waiting about 10 minutes when a lady by the window where I like to sit left so I went and set up my computer, yes I lucked out. It was still about 10 more minutes till my drink was ready. I took care of my normal Sunday duties, sent out the information for our Zoom Call Monday night and our Wednesday night dinner, we are trying a new place this week which is always fun. now it was time to write my blog from Saturday and getting my nails done at Dream nails. I do like writing my bogs when I am Susan as it feels more like I am writing about my life but it is more then that. As I wrote about my trip to Dream nails to get my nails done and yes I could see my nails as I typed it really did give me a wonderful feeling, almost like I was reliving the experience. I talk about the fact I have had my toenails painted for more then 15 years and yes I have had acrylic nails for more than 2 years now, mostly neutral and I can’t explain why I do this but maybe this is why. Looking at my nails took me back to yesterday and the experience of getting them done so just maybe when I am my male self I can still experience and relive a little of my Susan time when I see my nails and think back to getting them done. After all both my male and female sides are a part of me and make me the person I am so maybe this is my way of having part of both sides always with me.

It was about an hour later and the crowd here at Starbucks thinned out and tables opened up but still close to 20 people here. I finished my blog from yesterday which I will post later tonight. I took time to catch up on some e-mails and other things and also thought about the week ahead. I do have things I need to do but looking at the weather the outside stuff will have to wait till the end of the week which is most of what I have to do. There is a good thing about that though, if I damage a nail it will be later in the week and closer to when I have the color removed. Yes there are things I do in life that are not nail friendly. Last fall I chose to clean my gutters in the rain and cold as it was a Friday night and Saturday I was going to get my nails done in case I damaged them, which I did. I did post to the group I have lots of free time this week in case anyone wants to get together, of course any week I would probably work it out if it was in the evening.

I was also doing some stuff online and it got me thinking about social media. There is a real benefit to it but there are also so many things that are bad about it, mainly the fact a lot of people post things which to a point is anonymous and by that I mean it is not something you are saying to their face. People post things without thinking how it sounds or how other people will take it. This is why we try to keep politics and religion out of our group. We had another issue in the group, not politics or religion but something posted that was a little inappropriate this morning and I had a member reach out to me about it and now while I am here at Starbucks I have had 2 more members contact me on it. Now I am hoping what she posted she did not mean to offend but it obviously did. Social media has given us the ability to post pretty much what ever we want to the world and we often do it without thinking about it and I think that is now spilling into the rest of our lives. my rule of thumb is if I am going to post something or reply to someone’s post I do it in a word document and save it and then the next day a read it before I post as it is to easy to post something in a hurry or trying to beat others on the post that we don’t always choose the right words. Even in person I usually will walk away and then if needed come back and talk about it instead of doing it in the heat of the moment. Basically take time to think before you respond or comment or better yet if you can’t say something nice don’t respond. Sorry got off track a little there.

It was a relaxing day here at Starbucks and yes we had a couple goon rain showers pass through which I enjoy watching plus as I said Starbucks is a great place for people watching. Starbucks really was the first place I went as Susan by myself where I stayed a while, that was 15 years ago. I also was thinking about my blog as it is a great way to look back on things you have done, the other is my OneDrive where I store my photos. One of the features is it shows you this day and week through the years which is how I remembered I met Nicole 10 years ago as the photo I had her take of me at Washington Square popped up last week, here is the picture to the left. Well today probably one of my earliest pictures popped up of Alice and me, here is that picture which is 17 years ago. This is us at Embers in early 2007 back before I joined the group, she was really my first T-girl friend as we actually exchanged e-mail addresses and she would contact me when she was coming to town. Her e-mail address no longer works so I think she may have passed away as she was older but she is also one of the girls who had a huge impact on me and this side of my life. I can’t stress it enough, take pictures and write memories down.

By 5pm it had gotten busy here again, all the tables full and almost 30 people in here again. I stayed till about 5:30 before leaving and going home. I decided I would do my shopping in the morning as my male self with my pretty nails and see if I get any comments. I wen home and had dinner and watched TV till it was time for bed.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Sunday and a relaxing afternoon at Starbuck and a few random thoughts about this side of my life.

It is a beautiful Sunday afternoon and I am looking forward to a little relaxing tine at Starbucks as my female self. a little side note, Jennifer has arranged a day at Nordstrom on September 23^rd for a facial and to have our makeup done, it is no cost but they do expect you to buy something and there are a few things I need, anyway they texted me and I am all booked at 4pm so I am looking forward to that as I have never had a facial before. It was about 12:30 when I started getting ready. I took my time as today I was going to use my purple eye shadow and yes, I attempted a winged eyeliner. I also did a coppery lipstick and put lip gloss on it to make it shinny. I was all ready by 1:30 and on my way but I wanted to make a quick stop kind of. This Wednesday we are going to try a new place for dinner kind of, Outback but the one at Vancouver Mall and as it is close I just wanted to drive by and check it out. It is at the mall but the entrance is from the outside so parking should be easy.

I got to my normal Sunday Starbucks a little after 2pm and I do want to sit outside today as there is no wind and it is about 80 degrees out but all 6 tables were taken. Actually as I walked in the man I see here all the time and also at the one by my house on Saturdays was coming out the door and held it open for me so I thanked him. He was actually at the table I like as today he had his dog with him. I got my drink and sat inside and figured I would move outside once a table opened. I wrote my blog from yesterday which is one of the main reasons I come here as I really do like writing about my time as Susan while I am Susan. The other thing is I was thinking about something Poppy and I talked about and that is how we feel about this side of our lives. now the Transgender community has a wide range of people, including religious views, political view and also about how they feel as their gender. There are those who go full-time and change their body to match who they are to those who only dress a couple times a year. The one thing I do know is how we each feel and what is right for us is every bit as valid as how others feel.

Now I can’t really understand fully how someone who wants to have surgeries and change their body to match their mind or how they feel as I don’t have those feelings but I do support them living as their true self. I have had girls who have or are transitioning also say they can’t understand how I feel as to them having any part of their male life is wrong and going back and forth seems wrong. That is what makes us such a diverse group as even though we have differences we can accept how the other feels. So I will try to explain how I feel.

For me I need both sides of who I am to be complete. Now yes there are sone things, I hate body hair and have done everything to get rid of it and yes I would love to not have any facial hair. Yes I would love the soft smooth skin that women have and I am talking the texture of it and yes softer facial features and truth be told I wish I was about 6 inches shorter. When I am presenting as Susan yes I do wish I had real breasts and wider hips and didn’t have to hide body parts but for me it is all about the appearance when I am out as Susan. It is not about correcting my body or bringing it into line with my mind. When I am not my female self I really don’t even think about these things, I am happy with my body. I guess that does make me the very definition of a crossdresser. Now when I am Susan though I do have a distinct female personality, yes I am still the same person either way but there are differenced. As my female self I am way more social and open and love to talk with people where my male side I tend to keep more to myself and that is probably from growing up and hiding ½ of who I am. As Susan I love jewelry and feel odd if I don’t have at least my ring on and probably a bracelet and earrings where my male side I am bothers just by wearing a watch. There are times I am doing things, usually yard work or repairs or yes even at the gym where I don’t want to be my female self. now yes I have worn a little mascara, light eye shadow or lipstick when doing these things but as far as being fully female I have no desire to be Susan for them. I talk all the time about golfing as Susan, which is fun but I will admit I just wear a padded bra as boobs get in the way when I golf. I am happy being both male and female and that is what is right for me.

I am lucky as at almost 60 I still have a full head of hair and I could grow it out which I will admit I have thought about but there is a few good things about wearing a wig as I can change the style and color very easy, (here are some of the looks over the years). The thing is no matter where we are on the transgender spectrum we still have some things that we have in common and can connect on those things. The key to being happy in your life is understanding what is right for you and accepting it and we can all support each other’s journey in life. I have met a lot of incredible people as Susan and had I not had this side to me they would not be in my life now and that would have been a huge loss. There are people I have met who as my male self I probably would not have talked to and but as Susan I got to know them and it was a good thing as they turned out to be awesome people. People come and go in our lives and we all need to be open to at least give them a chance and get t know them before making a judgement just based on how they look or how we perceive them to be and this goes for all aspects of life. Never judge someone without at least talking t them and finding out their story as you will find some people who are totally different then you may wind up being a friend someday.

It was a little after 4pm and a table opened up outside so I got another drink and moved outside and enjoyed the nice day. I stayed here till about 5:30pm before going home to make dinner, do laundry and watch TV. Now I am looking forward to the week ahead and yes that does include the part as my male self although I will admit Susan is more fun.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me and yes my views on life.

A little Susan time at Starbucks on a smokey day

It is Sunday and wee have some smoke that blew in late yesterday so it won’t be as hot as they predicted only about 88 degrees today. Now although there is smoke it is not that bad as far as smell. Now my only plan for the day was a few hours at my Sunday Starbucks to catch up on things and especially my blog and I was thinking about sitting outside maybe. It was a little after noon and just in case the smoke got worse I figured I would water my grape plants and palm trees. Well I got my hose out and which I bought a few months back, one of those pocket hoses that expands and collapses and turned on the water and it blew out, so now I need a new hose so guess I will be making a trip to Home Depot today. I started getting ready and again did a thinner eyebrow and a brick red lipstick but today I didn’t over draw any part of my lips to see how that would look. Now as I need to go to Home Depot I decided to wear my short black supper dress and black tights as this is a nice casual daytime outfit plus in my pictures I can show my nails off better as the tip shows up better against the black dress. I was all ready by 1:30pm so a little early then normal but I do need to go to Home Depot first. I did get a few pictures and then was on my way.

It only took about 15 minutes to get to Home Depot and as I drove I thought about how far I have come. 20 years ago I would have told you I would never be going to Home Depot as my female self. 20 years ago I was working on courage just to go into a Gay club that did drag shows and when I did it was always after dark where people couldn’t get a good look at me and now I am going to Home Depot in the middle of the day, of course I have done this before as I said I now do most of my shopping as Susan as it is another way my female side can be an active part of my life and not just a special event part. I got to Home Depot and parked by the garden center as that is where the garden hoses are but do to the smoke they had that entrance closed and the registers out there closed so I had to walk to the main door and go in and back to the garden center. I had researched a little before I left and decided on one called AquaJoe as it is still a light weight but looks a little more sturdy and is not one that expands when you fill with water. I got my hose and went to the registers and yes they had 1 lane open with a checker and a line and then the self-checkout so that was where I went. I paid and had to walk all the way back across the front of the building to my car as where I parked was about as far away from the exit as I could get.

I got to my normal Sunday Starbucks right at 2:30pm and went in. There were a few people sitting outside but there was a little wind and even though the smoke smell wasn’t bad I did figure sitting outside for any length of time would make me smell a little of smoke and also my clothes and hair so I decided I would sit inside and maybe when it gets closer to the time I leave move outside for maybe 30 minutes. I got my drink and sat down by the window to work on my computer. I sent out the invite for our Monday zoom call and picked where we would have dinner Wednesday night and sent it out so I could get a head count as I like to make reservations on Tuesdays. I actually have an excel spread sheet that I have used to keep track of where we go each week sense late last year and who goes each week. Makes it easier to pick a place and space them out plus I can see which places seem to get a better turnout.

I took care of some things I had to do on my computer, one of the great things about computers now is you can work from anywhere if you have Wi-Fi connection. It is way more fun to sit in a Starbucks as my female self then sitting at home on my computer or worse doing it as my male self. I stayed at Starbucks till a little after 5 and yes stayed inside the whole time before leaving and going home for the night. At home I made dinner and did some laundry and watched a movie as I ate.

Now, as I couldn’t water earlier, so it was about 8:30pm when I went out back and watered my grape plants as Susan and then moved out to the front to water my palm trees at the front of my yard.

It was a good day and now I am looking forward to the week ahead. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

 

Relaxing Sunday at my favorite Starbucks

It is a beautiful Sunday and I wanted to spend a little time at Starbucks to catch up on my blogs and some work. I got ready and chose to wear my short Salmon colored summer dress. I took my time getting ready as after all today is all about relaxing. I did a purple eye shadow and my darker brows. I am still trying to figure out which looks better on me, dark brown brows or a lighter brown and I do think it does depend on the way I do my makeup. I went back and found a picture with the lighter brows when I was wearing the same outfit and similar makeup to compare. Darker brows are on the right. I was all ready by 2:30pm and on my way to Starbucks.

It only took a couple minutes to get there and I went in and they were not that busy inside although all the tables outside were full as it really was the perfect day, low 80’s and gust a slight breeze and yes my plan was to sit outside so I was out of luck. I got my drink and sat down along the window inside and started on my blogs as I am once again behind on them. I seem to have a lot of things going on in my male life right now, yes my male side is just as important to me and I need both.

I love my time as Susan and I love makeup and looking pretty, cute outfits and nice nails. There are things I need to do also and things I like to do that does not work with being Susan. Yes I have beautiful nails that I love but they do interfere sometimes and I will explain. Things like cleaning my gutters, which is a dirty job and even if I wear gloves my hands get filthy and I run the risk of damaging a nail or worse breaking it. It would be way easier to do without nails as I do go slower and take more care because of my nails. yes this year I cleaned my gutters on a Friday night when it was in the low 90’s and I picked that hot day to do it because the next day I would be going to get my nails done just in case I damaged my nails. During the summer when I do yard work I get dirty and sweaty and again that would mess up most makeup I wore, yes occasionally if I am working in the back yard I will wear a little lipstick or waterproof mascara but when you get hot and sweaty you wipe your face a lot plus you get dust in the air which sticks to makeup. Same goes for long hair as it gets in the way. When I do work like this the last thing I think about is being Susan other than worrying about my nails. Same goes for when I am at work I don’t even think about my female side other than when I see my nails.

Now I think this can be harder for a lot of people to understand. I mean men who transition to women, who feel they are in the wrong body, or their body does not match their brain I think is easier for people to understand then for a man who need to be female part of the time but is also happy with his male side at times. Even I sometimes wonder about it. If I go a few weeks without being Susan and expressing my female side the need and desire to be Susan does become almost overwhelming. I think that is why I have kept my toenails painted for years and why I have had beautiful nails for the last 2 years. I always Say my female side is a part of who I am but even with that she is always with me just like my male side is always with me. It is the blending of these two sides of me that make me a complete and happy person. For me I could not be happy without both sides. Just some random thoughts.

I posted my blog from Wednesday nights dinner at Who Song & Larry’s and then started on Saturdays blog. Ryan the young man I met here a while ago came in to get a drink as he was on his way to his meeting, his is a youth pastor and he gets together with his churches youth group on Sunday afternoons. He did stop and say high and we talked briefly. I hadn’t seen him for a couple weeks and he mentioned he had taken his youth group down to Florida for an event. Well we talked about the weather down their which was beautiful but very humid. I mentioned that was one of the things I remember from when I was there as a kid back in the mid 70’s. We only talked a few minutes but it was very nice. He does always say hi to me when he see me though which is nice. I do wonder what he thinks being a youth pastor though but he has never asked me anything about being transgender even though I know he knows.

It was a little after 4pm and one of the tables outside opened up so I got another drink and picked all my stuff up and went outside to enjoy the fresh air for a while. It got me thinking about how far I have come in the last 15 years. I use to drive 30 minutes to a Starbucks for the last hour they were open to sit in the back corner just to be out and now I go to a Starbucks right by my house during the day and even sit right out front of the door so everyone coming and going hast t walk right by me. I sat out here till about 5:30 before picking up to go. I did call Little Caesars and ordered a pizza to pick up and drove down to get it. The lady working the counter complimented me on my outfit which I will admit was cute and of course I had to compliment her on her eye makeup, which was exceptional, kind of a glittery smokey eye look. I have found that when I am out as my female self I can compliment women on their makeup, nails, hair or clothes and not come across as a creepy guy hitting on them, after all women compliment each other all the time.

It was a little after 6 when I got home and ate dinner and spent the rest of the evening watching TV and doing laundry, yes laundry is one of the household chores I do as Susan. Now I am looking forward to Monday’s Zoom call and Wednesday night’s dinner. It was about 11pm when I washed away my makeup for bed, I did notice my left eye was a little irritated maybe got some dust in it when I was outside.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Sunday Susan time at my favorite Starbucks and some thoughts on my life.

It is a beautiful Sunday and I am going to spend a little time at my Sunday Starbucks as Susan. being low 80’s and no wind hopefully I will sit outside at least part of the time. It was about 1pm when I started getting ready and as always took my time. I tried a little different smokey eye look and wore my short black summer dress. I was all ready by 2:30 and off I went. I got to Starbucks and went in and sat along the window to start so I could charge my computer up, yes forgot to plug it in last night when I got home. I wrote my blog from Saturday which I will post later. Now they were not that busy so not great for people watching. It was about 4pm when I moved outside to a table and the weather was perfect. Now as I said I thought I would give some thoughts on my life, my being transgender and how it affects me and my life.

Now I will admit it has been a journey to get to where I am in my life and be happy. Starting out when I was young I actually hated this part of who I was. I felt I was different, strange, broken and I can remember wishing and praying these feelings would go away. As a matter of fact I felt I was the only one like this. Early in my life, pre computers and internet all I could find on this was people like me were either transexuals, (Trapped in the wrong body) or Gay. Now there is nothing wrong with either of these but it wasn’t how I felt. I didn’t feel my body was wrong and I knew I wasn’t attracted to men as a matter of fact the way I dress and present is what I am attracted to in women. It took years to understand and accept who I was and how this fit into my life.

Now on to how I feel, yes I do have a definite female side and yes I will admit when I am Susan I do wish for that time I was 100% female as far as body and looks. I try very hard to present as well as I can, look as passable as I can and do it in a way that shows respect for other woman. I think it is important when we are presenting that we do it in a respectful way so people don’t think we are making fun of woman. Now I know I don’t pass as far as how I look, yes at a quick glance by someone I may pass or if I am in a dark room and sitting down I may pass better but eventually people around me will figure it out as there are certain differences between male and female even surgery cant change. Yes padding can help but I have to be honest to myself and that is okay. When I first thought about going out my goal was to blend in and have no one be able to tell and that probably kept me from going out for a long time. Once I accepted who I was and realized I was not broken and I was just me it helped. What really did it was changing my view of what passing meant.

I go out a lot now and I pass 99% of the time but for me passing is now being accepted for how I present. In other words it is not if people truly believe I was born female as I can never achieve that, but do they accept me for how I present. Sitting here in Starbucks today I am sure everyone knows I was not born a female but they either treat me as if I was or they just don’t say anything and let me be. The people who work here pretty much all know my name and always address me as Susan, even a few of the regular customers here I have met and know their names also address me as Susan. They have accepted me as I am. Now they may not agree with who I am or how I live my life and dress but they accept my right to live as I want. That also means I have to accept their rights to think what they want and as long as neither of us force our views on the other life is a wonderful place. I think when we are out and can interact with others it does so much good for our community especially if they see us as just another person out. I had wonderful parents and they taught me several things that has served me well in life, first everyone deserves respect even if you disagree with the, live and let live, and treat others how you want to be treated. We don’t all need to agree on everything or even believe the same thing but if we can remember those 3 things we can all get along.

Now as for going out and being accepted there are also a couple things that help. First and most important is self-confidence, be proud of who you are and act as though it is perfectly normal. People will pick up on how you act and if you act afraid or worse like you are doing something wrong they will think you are doing something wrong. This can be a hard thing to master but it makes all the difference in the world. As I said I know I don’t pass and when people look at me I used to look away and that gives the impression I am hiding something or doing something wrong, now when they look at me I just look back and give them a smile and that goes a long way. That is the second thing when you are out, smile. One we all look better when we are smiling but it also puts other people at ease as you come across as sincere and caring. Maybe even say hi to them as you pass as a friendly gesture goes a long way. I have actually had a few short conversations this way.

When I have been out I have had men and even women hold doors open for me, it is a common curtesy and yes I know I am not fooling them but are treating me how I look and yes when this happens I always smile and thank them. No matter what society says today, Manor matter. Always making an effort to be nice and respectful goes a long way which brings me to anther thing my parents taught me, if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything. With the internet we have become a little disconnected and it can be easy to post negative things and now that is even popping up in person. I see post all the time like that. Yelp is a prime example as I never give any thought to negative reviews. I have left a few reviews on yelp but they are always positive. If I am unhappy with someplace I just don’t go back, I don’t trash them online as that does no good, same goes for other people.

Well just a few thoughts on myself and life in general. I stayed at Starbucks till about 6:45 before going home to have dinner and watch TV for the night. It was a relaxing afternoon and a beautiful day to sit outside Starbuck’s for a while.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing my journey with me.

Sunday before the 4th of July and a little Susan time at Starbucks to work on my blogs.

It is Sunday July 2^nd, 2 days before the 4^th of July and I want to wish everyone a happy and safe 4^th of July. Now I do complain about our elected politicians and yes I don’t trust them or like a lot of what they do but I do want to be really clear, I am proud to be an American. I love this country and yes I fly my American Flag year-round so I do love the 4^th of July. This video about the Star Spangle banner says it all, it is about 12 minutes long and I would encourage you all to watch the whole thing. Take time this 4^th to think about all the blessings in your life because of this great country.

Well today I am several blogs behind and I need to get caught up and yes that means some time as Susan at Starbucks as I do like to write them when I am Susan as it seems more like I am writing about myself. It was about 12:30 when I started getting ready, now my time getting ready is my me time. I love being Susan and going out but I also love the time and process of getting ready and doing my makeup. The other thing is I do my makeup for me and how I like to look, yes I do like getting compliments on how I look but what really matters is what I think about how I look. I think it is very important to do things you like and things for yourself. Today I used my purple eye shadow and tried a winged eyeliner look and was pretty happy with how it turned out. I was already by a little after 2pm and as I left my drive the neighbor girl was outside and as she looked at me as I drove by I just waved at her and she waved back.

I got to Starbucks and went inside ad got my drink and sat down to work. I finished my blog from last Sunday and posted it and then worked on my blog from Wednesday nights dinner and then my blog from yesterday when I got my nails done. Now it was a beautiful day out, mid 80’s and my plan was to move outside about 3:30 as my battery would last for the last couple hours but it did get a little windy and I didn’t want to mess up my hair so I just stayed inside. Yes I guess I am a girly girl and a little high maintenance when it comes to things like this. It was a relaxing, fun afternoon. I stayed here till a little after 5pm before going home to have dinner and watch movies.

Now my evening at home was a little fun also. I do have 3 raccoons that will come up on my deck in the evenings and try to get into my bird feeder, I think they like the sunflower seeds. Well I do occasionally throw old bread out too. Well I saw my motion light go on and looked out and there was 3 raccoons out there but 2 of them were babies and they were so cute. Well I quickly tossed out a few pieces of bread to keep them there while I went and got my phone so I could take pictures and thought I would include them here at the end. They really are cute.

It was a fun day and now I am looking forward to the week ahead.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

First Sunday of April and some Susan time at Starbucks

It is the first Sunday of April and believe it or not we have had some snow showers, not cold enough to stick but still snow and they are calling for snow between now and Wednesday although probably no accumulation. I looked back in my blog and last year on April 11^th we also had snow and got a few inches, there is a picture on my blog from that Monday that shows the snow. It was about 1pm when I started getting ready for my afternoon as Susan. really over the next few days I have laundry to do and things to get ready for my trip next week to Palm Springs to see Julie. I took my time getting ready and being cold I wore my grey sweater dress. I got a few pictures and was on my way.

I got to Starbucks and they were not that busy when I first got there but today all but one of the tables along the window were taken but one and it was by Ryan the young man I met here a while back. I got my drink and sat down and we did talk briefly. He is a youth pastor but has really never said anything or asked me any questions which kind of surprised me. I took care of some work and of course watched the weather out the window as we did have a little snow mixed with the rain and of course several down pores and I actually like watching the weather outside as my male or female self. Ryan only stayed about 20 minutes before he left. At one point it did get really busy and all the tables filed up so it was a good thing I got here a little early today. I stayed about 3 hours before heading home as this will be a busy week as I want to wash all the stuff I am taking to Palm Springs as it is my summer stuff and has just been hanging in the closet for several months.

I got home a little after 5 and got more laundry going and relaxed the rest of the night. Now I am looking forward tour zoom call and Wednesday nights dinner and of course my trip to Palm Springs next week.

Little update on my week, wouldn’t you know it Monday I woke up with a stuffed head and all I can think about is don’t let it mess up my vacation. well needless to say I didn’t dress for Monday’s zoom call, just left my video off as a runny nose is not a good look for Susan plus I wanted to go to bed as soon as we finished. Of course Wednesday I skipped the dinner also as I didn’t want to take any chance of giving it to any of the other girls plus I am really focusing on getting over it fast of course it could just be allergies but not taking any chances. I talked with Julie Thursday night and let her know. Well by Friday afternoon all that was left was just a little stuffiness and by Saturday I was feeling pretty good so I am going to Palm Springs and will leave later tonight and get there Sunday afternoon.

Monday night zoom call with friends

It is another Monday and that means getting together online with some of my friends tonight. Now as you know Saturday I got an ombre look to my nails, kind of a French fade and again at work not one comment from anyone and I know people had to notice as my nails are very noticeable now at least close up. I got home a little before 5pm so I had lots of time and yes I took my time getting ready tonight. Tonight I did my purple eye shadow and my Russian red MAC lipstick, I like this lipstick but usually only wear it on Mondays as it is not a long wearing one and as am not eating it is perfect. I was all ready by a little after 6 and got some pictures and yes I am showing off my nails in the pictures.

I started the meeting at 7 pm and this week was a little smaller group, tonight there was only 6 of us, Nicole, Jan, Lynn, Jennifer, Michelle and me. We talked for a little bit to see if anyone else would log in but this was it for the night. We all took time to tell about anything going on in our lives or things that are new and of curse for me it was my nails and yes I held them up to the video camera to show them off although they do look way better in person then on camera, even the pictures I took don’t do them justice. Anna at Dream nails really did an awesome job on them. this is the most noticeable I have been on my nails at work, yes last fall I did a more pink tint acrylic powder which you can see on my blog from then here, but the white tip really stands out.

It was close to 8pm when we got to Jennifer’s question of the week and it was how many purses do you own. now I was kind of surprised on this one as most of the women I have dated over the years had a lot of purses, usually one to match each color of shoes and also to match outfits and most of them had higher end purses as they viewed it more as a fashion accessory or statement. A couple of the girls went and to my surprise it seemed for us it was between 3 & 7 purses with the average about 5, a couple girls did have a purse for specific shoes but not all of them, or a couple colors for different looks.

Now it was my time to share and for me I really view a purse more as something I need as Susan and not so much a fashion statement. I have 3 purses of which I really only use 1. Years ago I bought a small silvery grey sparkly purse with a thing chain strap and it really is a cute purse and perfect for a fancy night out. I think I have only used it a couple times as it is too small. I can basically get my keys, driver license, credit card, a little cash and lipstick and if I had my old small flip phone I might get that in but that is it. My current cell phone would not fit so really not practical. I also have a black clutch type purse, well maybe more lie a big wallet with a wrist strap which I bought a few years back mainly for going to the red dress ball. I can get my keys and cell phone in and cash and credit cards but really not much else as it is longer bit flatter but is a cute look but you have around your wrist and of course in your hand. I also have my regular purse which I use all the time, it is black and about a medium size I would say but what I really like is there is an outer pocket on each end perfect size to put my cell phone in so it is easy to get to without digging through my purse and the other one I keep my keys in again I hate having to dig through my purse to find my keys. Also has 4 compartments and actually big enough for everything I might need to carry. I can wear it over my shoulder and it tucks nicely under my arm so I feel safe caring it. It was actually a good question.

We talked for a little longer and then girls started to sign off and we closed the meeting down a little before 9pm. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner and of course going to work with my pretty nails.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

Wednesday night dinner at Outback Steak house

It is Wednesday and tonight we are going to the Outback Steak house on Barns Road for dinner. Jennifer is coordinating it tonight and it looks like we will have another small group, only 4 of us which is still fine and easier to talk with everyone. I do like when we have big groups as it is nice to see so many getting out but small groups are also nice as they are a little more personal and you can really have some good conversations with everyone involved. Tonight it will be just Jennifer, Patty, Sherri and me. Now this week Julie is out of town but I told Sherri I would pick her up as she is staying at her normal Airbnb which is only a couple block out of my way and I so much more enjoy having someone ride with me. years ago I never thought I would go out and when I did I didn’t want anyone to know to much about me such as the car I drive but now it is different. Being able to go over and pick someone up to go out makes it all seem so normal, I am not saying this is not normal but what I mean is I am doing the same thing I would as my male self. It also gives me and Sherri more time to talk. it is amazing the close friends I have made as Susan, some I have know for more then 12 years and others about a year but they have all had an impact on my life and who I am. I got home at 5 pm and stared getting ready. I did a purple eye shadow again tonight and yes I attempted a winged eye liner and for the most part it turned out really well although it did smudge just a bit on my right eye but only noticeable if I have my eyes closed like in the picture. I was ready a little before 6 and on my way to pick up Sherri.

I got to where Sherri was staying about 6:15, It was great to see Sherri again, she lives a few hours away but she seems to make a lot of the dinners which is nice. It too us about 15 minutes to get to the outback and we had a nice conversation, we are very similar in our views and how we feel about our feminine side. We parked and talked a few more minutes as we were early but we saw Jennifer pull in so we went in right behind her. Patty was already there she was in the bar so we were all early. We were shown to our table and our waitress came and got our drink order. Now we always have great service here and the last several times we have had the same man but I am guessing he was off tonight as I didn’t see him but the young lady who waited on us was awesome and she had beautiful long nails and awesome eye lashes, and yes we complimented her on them.

We ordered our food and yes I got the ribeye with garlic mashed potatoes and broccoli which is always awesome. we all sat ad talked and the great thing about a small group like this is we were all involved in the same conversation. The big groups are nice but sometimes you may not really get a chance to talk with everyone there. One of the things we talked about were nails, I currently have acrylic nails which I love but to make them work with my male life they are a neutral natural color and yes I do miss the bright colors, I will be on vacation in a little over a week so I will get color for that week. The other girls use stick on nails which I also used when I don’t ave the acrylic. Ay way a while back Jennifer went to her nail salon and had them shape her stick on nails and put gel polish on for strength. We hold them on with a double sides tape so we can reuse, actually if you are careful yu can get 30 to 40 times wearing them. Any way Sherri liked this idea and she has an appointment with Anna the lady who does my nails at Dream Nails on Thursday to get a set done. I am looking forward to see what they look like and how she liked the experience.

Our food came and it was really good as always. We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation. These dinners are really so much fun. The night went by way to fast as always and we did sit and talk a little afterwards and I had our waitress take a picture of us, again a little easier to see everyone in the picture when there is just 4 of us. It was about 9pm when we paid our bills and I gave our waitress a little extra as she really was awesome. we really do seem to get really good service every where we go and I often wonder if it is because they are afraid of offending us which would be sad. I have said it many times I really just want to be able to go out and be accepted and for that I do mean treated like any other female. We all said our good nights and then Sherri and I drove back to where she was staying talking the whole way. I dropped her off and then drove the rest of the way home alone. It was almost 10pm when I got home and washed away Susan for the night. now I am looking forward to the weekend and some more Susan time.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.