Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday evening at the Escape

It is Saturday and that means I get to go out tonight to the Escape and see my friends. I posted in the group I would be there by 6 but it looks like I may make it a little earlier as I got home a little earlier. I know Kris and Bobbie will be there but not sure who else will show up. Okay I have to give a funny story; I got an e-mail last week and didn’t recognize the e-mail address so I let it go for a few hours before I took the time to read it. I opened the e-mail and it started off I Susan and then there was some writing but before I could read it my eyes were drawn down further because in a huge font that stood out was my male name and address. My heart jumped in my throat for a moment till I read the e-mail. Turns out it was from my attorney and they had collected some money from our P-club case years ago and were going to send out small checks again, seems to come about every 12 to 18 months and is out 3rd such payment. They are small and I don’t think it even covers the interest that is being charged to him so he probably owes us more than when this started. Well back to tonight.

I started getting ready about 3:45 so I was all ready by 5 and on my way. Now I know one of my neighbors knows and have to believe others do although no one has said a thing. I only say this as I opened my garage door to leave my older neighbor across the street, the one I know the best was out front in his wheel chair getting some sun. he wasn’t looking my way so I just pulled out. 2 houses down the lady living there was working on her front yard right by the street and as I drove by, she looked right at me. The next house down the man living there was in the street by his car as I drove by and the house at the end both the man and woman living there were out working in their front yard. The problem with summer and ice weather. A few years back I would not have left till they went in now I just don’t care. I got to the Escape about 5:20 and got a parking spot right in front and went in. I brought my computer and sweater as it tends to be cold inside on hot days as they have the air conditioner up, reason I wear my ankle boots instead of open toes heels. Now Bobbie was already here as it turns out his ride dropped him off about 3:45.

We got one of the big tables with hopes we would have a good turnout tonight. I ordered dinner, my usual hamburger which is awesome actually everything I have had here is good. Now Bobbie was watching the Basketball game so I took the time to write my blog from Wednesday night dinner which was awesome. We had been here about 45 minutes and Bobbie went outside to sit at one of the tables and when I finished my blog, I went out for about 15 minutes to get warm I did get a selfie of me while I was out side.

I went back in and sat down at our table and a few minutes later Betty showed up. It was great to see her again, she has been here a couple times but it was several months ago although I did see her at the Trans parade in Portland. Now it was early so it was still quiet and we had a good chance to catch up on what is new and get to know each other better which I really enjoy. There is just something I enjoy as Susan talking with others. I think I may have convinced her to go to Diva Las Vegas next year as she has not been to Las Vegas since the late 70’s, I think she would have a blast.

Bobbie came back in and Michele also showed up as did Kris so we had a nice small group tonight and was very easy to talk with everyone which make it awesome as I don’t feel like someone I getting left out. The other girls ordered food and we just sat and had a wonderful time. It was after 8 and Wendy showed up. I have met her a couple times before so it was nice to see her again also. Now I was talking with Betty and she asked me what kind of phone I have; it is a Samsung Galaxy 8 and I love it. It is my 3rd Samsung and I would highly recommend them. She has an Apple and I am not saying they are bad I just prefer the Samsung. Any way she was not happy with the pictures hers takes and it may be an old phone so I took a couple with my phone of us and she thought they were awesome. If you have a phone that does not take good pictures try a Samsung. Well I texted her the pictures but forgot to ask if I could post them but since she posted them on her Facebook, I feel safe in posting one in my blog. I love to have my picture taken and posted but I know some girls don’t so I always ask.

By 9 Karaoke started and it was getting busy as it always does but it also gets louder and harder to talk, so we would listen to the singing and talk between songs. Kris got up and sang a few times. Now there are some really good singers here and a few not so good but hey if you can get up and try you are good as I still haven’t mastered that at least not by myself. One of the ladies who works Trixie here got off early but she stayed and hung out with her friends and tonight she sang a song. She may have sung before but if she did, I must have missed it but any way she did great also.

It was about 9:45 and Lauri showed up and all of us were still here so we had 7 of us here tonight. Now I usually get here early try for 6 so by 10 I am ready to call it a night. I am just not the late-night girls I use to be. When I first started going out it was usually 8 or 9 when I went out maybe later during the summer when it was light later and it was usually 2 or 2:30 when I left for home, yes I use to close down the bars and sometimes I would go out for something to eat or dessert, only did this a couple times once with Veronica. Any way I was having so much fun I stayed later tonight. It was almost 11:30 when I called it a night. it really is sad when the night comes to an end and I know I have to go home and change back to my male self. Now don’t get the wrong ideas as I am not going to Transition and have no plans to go full time but Susan is so limited 2 to 3 nights a week that it really is sad when she goes away.

Anyway, it was a wonderful night made more special by my friends. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what in going on now in my life.


July 14, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Last Saturday of June at the Escape.

It is the last Saturday of June and I get to go to the Escape tonight. I didn’t get home till 4:30 so I started getting ready as I wanted to be to the Escape by 6. I got to the Escape about 5:45 and went in. they were not busy at all so I got our usual table and set up my computer to work on my blogs and then I ordered some food. I finished my blog from last Saturday and posted it and started working on my blog from Wednesday night dinner. I was almost done with my blog when Nicole and her daughter walked in. turns out they are coming through town on their way home and decided to stop and have dinner and spend a little time here tonight, how awesome is that.

It is a funny store as they only decided about an hour ago when they realized what time they would get to Portland. When they stopped about an hour earlier Nicole got dressed and did her makeup in the car which was a first for her. I on the other hand have a lot of experience at this as do a lot of girls. Early on when I was just making late night drives or going out once every few months, I had to do it this way as I had a roommate who didn’t know. I would load all my stuff in the car the night before and then the night I was going out I would shave really good and shower before I left home and then drive to nearby park that had an upper parking lot that was never really busy and I would park there and get dressed in my car and then do my makeup in the rearview mirror. I would go out or drive around and hen stop at the rest area and change clothes and go wash my face the best I could, on a few occasions if it was late enough, I would sneak into my house and hope I didn’t wake my roommate. What we all go through to be able to be who we are.

Well it was nice to see them again and get to hear all about their father (Nicole) & daughter vacation. They had a wonderful time and yes Nicole did get out on the vacation not just here in Portland. Her daughter is accepting and supportive of her which is so wonderful. Nicole really is lucky to have a supportive wife and 2 daughters who all know about her. I heard some of the highlights of their trip and a few of the things they did I have done before when I was on vacation there but a few others I haven’t and want to. I really want to do another Susan Vacations but it may have to wait till next year when I go to Diva Las Vegas again.

Melissa showed up tonight also, I had told her at Wednesday night dinner Nicole and her daughter were here last Saturday on their way and I think show was hoping they would stop by tonight. The 4 of us sat and talked and yes Nicole’s daughter was right in the conversation and yes, we did ask when she found out about Nicole and what she thought and it seemed to be no big deal to her. I give her a lot of credit for being that supportive and open minded. It was a little later and Michele also showed up so we had 5 of us tonight well 5 counting Nicole’s daughters. Now it was not busy at all here tonight. There were 5 women at the next table and a couple at the bar and our group maybe 15 people. The good thing was it was very quiet so it was perfect for talking. We really weren’t watching the TV as the sport tonight that had on was ultimate fighting and none of us were really into that. It is funny though as I am not a basketball or football fan and never watch it at home but I do watch it as Susan when I am out. Who would have thought years ago I would be in a bar dressed as Susan watching sports? I guess everything is more fun when you are female.

Well 9 pm came and it was time for Karaoke and there was still only 12 to 15 here including our group of 5. The lady running Karaoke sang a song to start it off and then waited for someone to come sing. Between 9 and 9:45 I think there were only 6 songs sang, 2 by the lady doing karaoke and 2 by another guy and then 2 others. I was actually tempted to sing tonight as there were so few people here but I didn’t have a song to do. I think I will have to practice a song and have it ready incase we have another slow night here. I tried to get Nicole’s daughter to sing and she said she would sing right after me so it would have been fun if I could have done a song tonight. It is hard to explain why I can’t get up the courage to sing. Ii will go pretty much any place as Susan and not care what people think but I am worried what they will think if I try to sing a song. Same goes for dancing, I look foolish when I dance. It is strange how the mind works.

It was about 9:30 when Nicole and her daughter left for home as they still have about a 2-hour drive and somewhere on the way Nicole will stop and change back from being Nicole, as she never comes or goes from her house as Nicole as they don’t want their neighbors to know. I also remember those days where I would not leave till it was dark and all my neighbors were inside or I would put on my clothes with a big coat over them, sunglasses on to hid my eye and the visor pulled down and hair on the car seat nest to me and I would leave and then stop in a parking lot and take the coat off, put my hair on and then my lipstick. We all find a way eventually to get out as who we are. It was sad to see them leave but I will see Nicole again and maybe, just maybe her daughter will accompany her again on one of her visits. It is funny as we did ask what she thought about Nicole but I wanted to ask her what her thoughts were on the rest of us.

It was about 9:40 when Melissa and Michele left and as I said it was really slow here tonight still only about 15 people but as it was close to 10 and I was almost sure Lauri would be here I decided to wait so I could see her also. She is our late-night girl and shows up between 9:45 and 10. She actually got her about 9:45 about 5 minutes after the others left. It was nice to see her again and talk to her a little. She may not be out next Saturday as she is planning on going downtown to the Portland Blues festival. We talked a little before I went and paid my bill, the good thing about being slow is I didn’t have to wait to pay my bill. It was probably 10:15 or so when I called it a night and left for home. It was a really fun night.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 4, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday night at the Escape

Saturday and I get to go to the Escape with my friends and I am looking forward to it. I got home late so I had to rush to get ready as I wanted to be there by 6. I was on my way by 5:30 and got to the Escape right at 6 and went in. not what is funny is last week at the Trans March I ran into a lady I haven’t seen I in 5 years, well tonight I saw her again as she and her friends were sitting at the tables out front. Funny how that works. I got inside and got our normal table and set up my computer as I like to get here a little early so I always bring it so I have something to do. Well I had just sat down and Nicole showed up and what a surprise. It turns out Nicole and her daughter are doing a father daughter vacation and yes Nicole is part of that trip as her daughter came with her tonight, how awesome is that. Yes, not only tonight but at least one other night in their trip it will be Nicole. It turns out her wife and daughters know all about Nicole and they are supportive of her which is so awesome. It was so nice to talk to them both and get to talk to her daughter and get her impression of how she feels. Now we did get some pictures, Nicole wanted one of her and I took one of her with her daughter it really was a nice picture and memory. I also got a picture of me. I wore one of my newer dresses with my corset so I have nice curves.

Well we ordered dinner and sat and talked as we waited for others to show up. Kimberly was the first to show up, it was good to see her again. She comes out more to the Wednesday night dinners but has come to the Escape before. The 4 of us sat and talked for a while. It wasn’t long and others showed up. Now once again it is a week later before I got a chance to write this blog so I may miss some. Kris, Stacy, Jennifer & her wife, Laura M and her girlfriend showed up so we had a good turnout tonight and we filled our table. It was so nice to get a chance to sit and talk with all of them. Now in my male life I am not big on just sitting around and talking but when I am out as Susan, I really do like talking with friends and people.

As always it started to get busy the closer it got to 9 when Karaoke starts and I really do like it when it is busy as it gives us a good chance to interact or at least be seen by others and yes it is a lot of the same people who come here but there are also some new people who also come here. Well Karaoke started and of course some of our members got up and sang. Kimberly got up and sang and she did the song Love Shack which is actually a duet so she was looking for someone to help her, Kris went up and sang it with her and they did a good job. Now it does get hard to talk once karaoke starts but it is fun to listen. It is just a fun night out.

Nicole and her daughter were the first to leave but it was so nice to see Nicole again and get to meet her daughter, I really hope they have a wonderful vacation together, I look forward to the next time I see her so I can hear all about her vacation. Well we sat and listened to singing and talked in between the songs. Now I stayed till a little after 11 before I called it a night, I paid my bill and said my goodbyes before heading home. it really was a wonderful night out.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new.

June 29, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday at the Escape

Another week over and I am going to the Escape for the evening. Now this week I was able to start getting ready earlier so I was able to take my time and enjoy getting ready. I was ready and on my way by 5 as I like getting there early as it gives me time to eat and play on my computer a little. Now I got there and parked right in front another benefit of going early.

Now normally I get one of the big tables in case others show up but tonight they had several big parties and all the tables were reserved except for the ones along the window so that is where I sat tonight. I went up and ordered dinner, I get a hamburger here almost every week but I wanted something a little healthier so I ordered breakfast, eggs, sausage and fries and of course pancakes. Well maybe not that much healthier but really good.

It wasn’t long and lee showed up with a couple of her friends, Britney and Sierra. Now I met lee a while ago and have seen her out a few times so it was nice to get a chance to talk with her while it was not busy yet. Lee doesn’t get out much but she has come out to several people she knows which is something I have not done. It really was n ice to talk with them.

A little later Jan, Lynn and Kris showed up so we had a good turnout but we were at 3 small tables by the window as by not the other groups had shown up and it was really busy. Karaoke started so it got a little loud but being over by the windows wasn’t as loud as where we usually sit so there was a benefit sitting here. It is fun listening to those who will get up and sing and the songs I know I can sing along with from my table.

Lauri also showed up which was nice but also lets me know it is getting close to when I go is funny as I use to not go out till 9 or later, now by 10 I am ready to go home. I think it is because Susan has become so much a part of me, I can leave my house anytime. Now I have talked to girls and I am not going to just go around and tell people about me but I am not going to hide in my house. If my neighbors see me, they see me.

It was about 11:30 when I called it a night. It was a fun night out with my friends. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

June 15, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Going to the Escape on Saturday

Its another Saturday and that means going to the Escape, now normally I try to get there between 5 & 6 so I can eat dinner and play on my computer a little before others start showing up but today I had to work and I didn’t get home from work till after 4 so I will be a little later tonight. I took my time getting ready tonight as I wanted to enjoy the transformation. It is hard to explain but there is something so relaxing and calming about transforming myself into Susan, I really do enjoy the time I spend doing my makeup. I was ready and on my way about 5:40 which was good as I really figured with working today it would be closer to 7 when I got to the Escape.

I got there right at 6 and the parking lot was full so I pulled out and parked on the street, I got the first spot on the street so it was still close. Now as I was walking into the parking lot 2 cars pulled out and I thought about moving my car but figured by the time I could pull around the block the spots might be gone and I might lose the spot I had, you know the old saying a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush, some of my younger readers may not understand. I went in and set my computer down on the table and went up to order, Nicole was already at the bar ordering, she got here just before I did. Nicole lives a couple hours north of here and only gets down every few months so it is always great to see here again and get a chance to talk with her.

Now I will give my pitch for Blogging. I would encourage everyone to do a Blog of your life, it can be an everyday thing like a diary, about specific things in your life or just a part of your life like my blog about my feminine side. It is awesome to be able to look back on things in your life, things you have done, places you have gone or people you have met or just pictures you have taken. The good thing about blogs is you can have them public, private, or share them with just certain people and you can even do a combination and just have certain blog posts private or public. Well back to my blog.

Nicole and I sat down and started talking and catching up from the last time she was in town. It was so much fun, just 2 ladies sitting and talking. Now we ordered pretty much at the same tome but her food came and she had finished by the time I got mine, I guess a burger takes longer than a grilled chicken sandwich. It was around 7 when Michele showed up, she has been coming out more which is nice. Now being Pride week, we wondered how busy it would be tonight as there is also the Starlight parade and run in downtown Portland tonight as well as a Portland Timbers game. It did get a little busy between 7:30 and 8:30 and then thinned out till about 9:30 when it got busy again, Karaoke started at 9and that usually brings in the people. Bobbie, Jan and Lynn also showed up. It was great to see them. Jan and Lynn are also wonderful friends and also know me as both my male and female sides. A few years back I was out at an event and I saw Jan and Lynn (Jan was in male mode) and without thinking I waved and said Hi Jan and Lynn and as soon as I said it, I realized I was not Susan. Any way there was nothing I could do as Lynn was looking around for Susan so I just kept waving till she saw me and realized I was my male self. It is still amazing how many of my friends I have met as Susan have seen or even know me as my male self. I never would have thought this possible.

Well we all sat and talked for a while, a little while later Melissa, Kris and another girl from our group showed up so it looked like we would have a good turnout tonight after all. Karaoke Started and of course Lynn went up and sang as did Kris, Kris and Lynn actually sang a duet. Now there is a diverse group of people who come here and sing, some sing old songs, rock songs, pop, country and even rap and they are all good. I look at it this way if you are willing to get up and sing you are good and deserve applause as that takes a lot of courage. Any way there is one young man probably in his mid to late 20’s who has been coming her and singing every Saturday for months now. He is tall probably 6’4″ and skinny and long brown hair and he does a really good job when he sings and usually the same songs. Any way tonight she was here again, yes, I said she as tonight she had done her makeup and had a nice deep red lipstick and a nice outfit, very casual but feminine and she looked amazing. Even with her height she looked very feminine. She was at the other side of the bar with a couple of her friends and they seemed like this was totally natural for her, how awesome is that.

About 10 Lauri showed up so we had 9 of us here tonight. Now with the Karaoke going it was hard to talk but we were still having fun but I was getting tired as I got up about 4am this morning to go to work but it was cold in here again tonight as they had the air conditioning going again and that was helping keep me awake. Normally not an issue for me in my male life but women’s clothes are not designed for warmth as you can see from my picture above, I had bare shoulders but I did wear my ankle boots tonight so my feet didn’t get cold, trust me open toes heels look awesome but do nothing to keep your feet warm.

Nicole was the first to leave but she will be b ack in town in a few weeks as she is taking a father daughter trip with one of her daughters and they will stop in Portland on the way. Now her wife and kids know about Nicole and our supportive but I am not sure her daughter will come out with her as it could be a little intimidating to come meet all of us at a bar. After Nicole left Melissa was the next to leave, I really thought I would be the first to leave tonight but I was just having so much fun. It was a little after 11 when I just couldn’t make it anymore so I went up and paid my bill and said my goodbyes.

On the way out I stopped at the other side of the bar and told the tall young lady how awesome she looked tonight and how well she sang. I wish I had got her name but I am hopeful she will be here again. With that I left and drove home. it was a long day but so worth going out tonight.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in my life as Susan.

June 4, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Going to the Escape after a minor glitch.

It is Saturday, the last Saturday of May and Memorial Day Weekend. I wish to thank all our veterans Past, Present and future for all you have done and gave for our great country. It is because of you we live in the best country with the most freedoms. Any way being Saturday I really had nothing to do so my plan was to relax and watch some movies till 3pm when I would start getting ready so I could be to the Escape by 5, yes, I wanted to get there early. It is relaxing to get there and have tome to eat and play on my computer before others show up and get caught up on my blog as I seem to always be behind on posting them.

Well about 11 I was still my male self and decided to run to Fred Meyers as they have pop on sale for the holiday and it is just to good a price to miss. I got in my car and it barely started so I took about a 20-minute run up the freeway to charge my battery up before going to Fred Meyer. I came out and my car started up just a little pause so I figured I was good so I went home. well I don’t know why call it luck I decided to go check my car a little after 2 and once again it barely started so now, I am wondering about my battery. Me car is a little over 5 years old with the original battery so I drove down to Les Schwab to have them check it and it was a good thing. As I feared my battery was bad so I got a new one. Would have really sucked to be all ready and not be able to get my car started or worst be at the Escape and ready to come home and have a dead battery. Well this put me behind schedule as I didn’t get home till after 3:30 but I would be able to go out as Susan and that is what was important.

I got ready and it was a little after 5 when I left so, I got to the Escape about 5:30 and I actually got a parking spot right in front tonight. Now I had posted in the group I would be here bit no one else posted. I knew Bobbie would be here tonight as she had texted me but that night be it. I ordered dinner and wrote my blog from Wednesday night’s dinner. I really do have to try to get my blog posts done faster. Now almost immediately after getting here I got cold and for those who don’t know me well if I am cold it is cold, I am usually the last one to get cold. They really had the air conditioner going plus women’s clothes are not designed to keep you warm as you can see my bare shoulders and of course my heels were open toes. I made a comment to the bar staff and they turned it up a little and I soon got warm again

It was a little before 7 when Bobbie showed up, it has been several months since she has been out. We talked a little while and watched the end or the eastern Files in Basketball. I am not really an NBA fan especially since Portland is out. In a way it is funny as the only time I watch Football is as Susan, and 98% of the time I watch Basketball is as Susan. Probably the only sport I watch as my male self is Baseball and even then, it is still about 50/50

A little after 8 another girl showed up, she introduced herself as Wendy, it was nice to meet her. She said she saw in the group we would be here and came down to meet us. Now being a Holiday weekend, I am thinking it will be just us 3 till maybe 10 when I am pretty sure Lauri will show up as she is here pretty much every Saturday night. she came out to her family and is starting transition. Her kids and ex-wife are supportive. It was nice to talk with her and get to know her. A little side note on Sunday Cassandra asked me if Paula had made it to the Escape so I looked through our Members and I think she joined the group as Paula, the name she used years ago when she was in our old Yahoo group but I am thinking now that she s transitioning she has chose the name Wendy.

Karaoke started and it got loud. They relocated the speakers a few mons back and instead of being over in the corner it is now right on the wall above the tables so it is really loud. now there were some really good singers tonight as most nights. But it was really hard to talk once the singing started. Maybe it is my getting older but I just don’t like the loud music, it was so much better with the speakers in the corner. Now it was really busy by 9:30 and pretty much standing room only. The next table had a big party for a couple getting married tomorrow.

It was about 10 when Lauri showed up. It was great to see her again. She knows most or the people who come here as she is really good about socializing with everyone, something I still have trouble with. It is funny as I am way more outgoing as Susan then my male self but I still have trouble just going up to someone and starting a conversation without knowing them pretty well. Our group is so diverse in that area. We have a few girls that can go up to a complete stranger and start talking and in 5 minutes they are like best friends, Cassandra is awesome at this something I can’t do. I though can go out as Susan by myself shopping or to Starbucks and not give it another thought and other girls can’t. I think the group helps bring us all together so we can benefit from each other’s strengths. The friends I have made as Susan really have shaped who I am and really made my life complete. I can’t imagine what my life would be like without some of them.

It was about 11:30 when I paid my bill and said my goodbyes for the night. this weekend will be a good one as Sunday I am meeting Cassandra, Julie, Melissa and Barb at McMenamins Crystal Ballroom for an Admin meeting for our group the Rose City T-Girls at 2 pm and after we will have dinner. Monday being a holiday I don’t have to work and I plan some Susan time mid-morning to midafternoon so I will have 3 days of Susan. It was about midnight when I got home tonight, a little later then I planned but worth it.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what I am up to next.

May 27, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Another Saturday night as Susan at the Escape.

It is Saturday and yes, another night out as Susan. Now I got home late today about 4 so I would have to rush to get ready as I like getting to the Escape early. Now it is a hot day today upper 80’s so I decided to wear my white and black summer dress, here is a picture from Diva Las Vegas of me in the dress I am wearing tonight. I was ready and on my way by 5 and got to the Escape about 5:30. Now there parking lot was full so I had to park on the street but it was a nice sunny day so I didn’t mind the short walk. I did bring my sweater as on hot days they sometimes have the air conditioner on low and it can get chilly inside. I got my normal table and ordered dinner and then caught up on some e-mails I have been behind on. I also posted my blog from Last Saturday which I wrote earlier in the day, yes it was a week late as have been really busy the last couple weeks.

Now I posted in the group I would be here but got no replies but I am sure someone will show up. Michele was the first to show up a little after 6. We talked a little, I really do enjoy this part of Susan as my male side is not big on just sitting and talking. We also talked about our group the Rose City T-girls as we have been getting some newer members out which is nice but we also have a few that are having a hard time with that first step out in public. I have been in touch with one who almost made it out a few weeks ago but at the very last minute couldn’t get out of her car so I gave her my cell # and told her to text me and I would come out and meet her at her car so she didn’t have to walk in alone. Well I hadn’t herd from her so I texted her to make sure she had my number and she texted me back that she just couldn’t o it again tonight. Now I am not putting her name in as I don’t wish to make her feel bad as there is nothing to feel bad about this. I just want to bring this out that it is really common. Walking out into the public as your female self the first time is really hard and I would say almost all of us have gone through it. I myself drove to Embers 3 time and sat in my car for an hour and then drove home never leaving my car. It was the 4th time and again I couldn’t do it and after an hour I was just getting ready to leave when another t-girls saw me in the car and tapped on my window to see if I was going in. had she not done that and showed me that kindness I would have gone home that night also. If you are struggling with going out your first time it is nothing to be ashamed, it is a big step. Reach out to someone for help if you can and if you are going out and know someone who is having trouble with going out be supportive and offer help, they will never forget you. I still remember Lorie the girl who helped me and that was I don’t know 20 years ago and I only saw her a few times going out. She got me out and Alice helped make me feel better about going out and I owe them so much. I will be in touch with her and hope I can help her as I know once she can get that first time behind her it will become easier.

Michele and I played a couple games of pool, I lost both but I at least made it a close game. We had another girl showed up so her and Michele played some pool, they are both better than I am at pool but I still enjoy it when I play. Karaoke started at 9 and it got loud again, I think they had the volume a little louder than normal so it really was hard to talk. About 9:30 Patty and her girlfriend showed up, Patty is one of our newer members and yes, her girlfriend is supportive. It was my first time meeting her girlfriend as the couple other times she has come out I couldn’t make it. She seems really nice and it is awesome she is supportive as it is not the normal reaction. We do however have quite a few wives and girlfriends of members who are supportive which is awesome. Coming out to someone is always a hard decision as you don’t know how they will take it and once it is out you can’t go back. Some girls say you should be completely honest and always tell, I don’t believe this is a black and white issue. Yes, if you are on hormones and planning on transitioning then yes you have to tell. If that is not your life course then there are choices you and only you can make. Don’t let someone else tell you how to live your life and who you have to tell. My view and only my view are if it doesn’t affect the person they don’t need to know. People I work with don’t need to know; I don’t plan on showing up at work as Susan. I look at it this way, I don’t talk golf with friends who don’t play golf, same with Baseball, fishing, hunting or guns, yes these are some of my interests but I have friends who don’t like or do these things. Did get a selfie tonight.

Lauri showed up at 10 so we had 5 of us tonight. It was a fun night with my friends. Now I did once again stay out latter then I planned, once again it was about 11:30 when I paid my bill and went home. I am not use to being up this late but it is good as next Saturday will be another late night as next Saturday is Portland’s Red Dress Party and I am going with Julie and Trixie and I am looking forward to it as it is a fun night and a wonderful place to people watch but most importantly is I will get to see Julie again. She has been out of town since last fall and I have missed her. As Susan I have a lot of wonderful close friends But Julie and Cassandra are my 2 best friends, they probably know the most about me in total of anyone.

Thanks for reading and be sure and ready my most recent blog to see what is new in Susan’s life

May 12, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the escape.

Okay my blog is a week late but better late then never. Now before I get into my blog, I have a little side note. I try really hard to keep politics and Religion out of my blog but every once in a while, I have to speak up. I don’t care what religion you are, politics, race, gender of preference, violence is never okay. There have been attacks on people just for having a different opinion. This is a video of an 85-year-old man who is a prolife supporter being attacked and beaten by a young man just for expressing his opinion. Now again I don’t care what side of the debate you are on but attacking someone, knocking them on the ground and kicking them is wrong and there is no excuse for assaulting an 85-year-old man. I don’t have to agree with you but I will stand with you and defend your right to express your opinion. Years ago, it was members of the LGBT community that were attacked for being who they are and expressing themselves and it was wrong. If we want people to accept us and by accept us, I mean allow us to be who we are without fear of being attacked then we have to stand up and condemn violence against everyone. We can have different opinions, lobby for changes to the laws, and even speak out against each other but we can never ever use violence against one another.

Okay, back to Last Saturday’s night out. I started getting ready early as I wanted to get to the Escape early. I posted in the group I would be there but I never really know who will all show up. I got to the Escape a little after 5 and went in. now getting here this early, they are not really busy and parking is easier. I got my normal table and got out my computer and ordered dinner. Now this gives me a little time on my own as I wait for others to show up. Now Jennifer was the first to show up, she is one of our newer members and have only been going out the last few months. It was great to see her again and this gave us a chance to talk before others showed up which is always nice.

It was a little after 7 and a couple other girls showed up so once again, we had 4 of us tonight, it really is a fun night out. Now I admit it is the same thing every week but it is also different as there are always new or different people here and that makes it fun. I had a nice dinner, good times with my friends and got to listen to some good music. Now about 10 Lauri showed up, it really is wonderful the friends I have made as Susan, I really am blessed with wonderful friends. I stayed a little later tonight as the last couple weeks my Susan time has been limited to just Saturday nights so I have to make the most of it. Now I am hoping o start getting out more, Wednesday night dinners and my Sunday Starbucks time and yes even the Red Dress Party which is coming up. It was about 11:30 when I called it a night and left for home.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 11, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Going to the Escape.

It is Saturday again and yes, I get to enjoy some time as Susan tonight at the Escape, yes, my normal Saturday night. now I write a lot about going to the Escape and I am glad for those of you that read my blog and I am happy to share my life as Susan with you but the main reason for my blog is to document my life as Susan, my record for me of what I have done.

I started getting ready early as I wanted to get out as early as I could as I probably won’t get out till next Saturday, plus I was looking forward to wearing my new dress. I was ready a little before 5 and on my way. I got there early a little after 5 and went in. I did get a selfie in the car before I went in. Now tonight I went with a different lipstick, kind of a dark Purple. I am not liking to color on me, I think it is a little to dark. I got my normal table and ordered dinner, yes, my normal hamburger. They have really good food her but their hamburgers are really good. It is nice to get here a little early and have some time for myself as I have been behind on doing my blogs lately. I took the tie and wrote my blog from Wednesday night dinner. I had a nice dinner as I waited to see if others would show up.

Michelle was the first to show up, it was good to see her as I have not seen her since Diva Las Vegas. We started talking and yes most of it was about Diva Las Vegas. It is hard to believe that it has been a month since Diva Las Vegas. I also got Michelle to take a couple pictures of me in my new dress. I always love it when I have a new dress to wear, there is just something special about a pretty new dress or outfit.

Now it was a slow night here, not many people showed up, it was after 7 and a couple other girls from our group showed up so we had 4 of us here tonight. It was nice to see them also and get to talk to them. I really do enjoy my time out with friends, as when I am Susan, I am way more social. We had a great time just sitting and talking of course a couple of our girls played some pool. My Saturday nights are pretty much the same but they are really fun and relaxing and just what I need.

A little after 9 it got a little busier as karaoke started and that is usually when most people show up. Now it gets loud when karaoke starts so a little hard to talk but still fun to listen to some of the people sing

Around 10 Lauri showed up so we had 5 here tonight. It was a relaxing night out with friends as always. I stayed till a little after 11 before I paid my bill and left for home.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new.

May 4, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday of Easter weekend at the Escape.

It is Saturday and yes that means I get to go out as Susan and I am looking forward to it as I missed our Wednesday night dinner this past week. Now this is Easter weekend so I am not sure how many will be out but it will still be fun. I hope everyone has a Happy Easter, I will be having my Mom over for Easter dinner so I spent the day cleaning and making sure any Susan stuff is put away as she does not know about this side of me, her Daughter she doesn’t know about. It was about 4 when I started getting ready and I was really looking forward to tonight as I have another new dress to wear. I bought two new ones at JC Pennies right after Diva Las Vegas as they were having their Easter dress sale.

I got to the Escape about 5:30 and went in. I got my usual table and ordered dinner and got out my computer to pass time as I waited for others to show up, the first thing on my list was to write my blog from Last Sunday wow almost a week late. I am finding the time to be Susan and get out but having a hard time finding the time to keep my blog up. I had just finished eating and writing my blog when Christie showed up. She is one of our newer members to our group the Rose City T-Girls, she actually just joined this week. She has gone to Victoria’s Over The Rainbow for transformations, this is where she learned of our group but this was her first time out in public. It was nice to meet her and get to know her. We also had another new member Michelle, she was in boy mode but was able to get out and meet the group. it was nice to talk with her and get to know her. hopefully she will come out more.

Around 7 Melissa also showed up, she had been chatting with another new member who was going to try and make it tonight. In the end they didn’t, it was also her first time going out and well the cold feet struck as it has with all of us. It really can be so hard. I have mentioned this before in blogs but I think it is worth repeating. I started with late night drives and when finally decided I was going to go out someplace I picked Embers which I new at the time was very LGBT friendly and that other t-girls went there. I worked up my courage and got there and parked across the street and worked up my courage to get out of the car, it took a full hour and in the end I couldn’t, I drove home never leaving my car. I actually did these 3 times, drove there, sat in my car for an hour and then drove home. it was the fourth time that I was actually successful and not because of anything I did. On the 4th time after sitting in my car for an hour I was just getting ready to leave yet again when I heard a tap on my window. It was another T-girl named Lori and she asked if I was going in. I was scared but not alone and o walked in with her and it was an incredible night thanks to her. I go out all the time and it is so natural and easy now but I remember that first night. so those of you out there don’t get discouraged as it is really hard but it is so worth it. Reach out to someone if you can, if you are a member of our group of just coming to Portland and want to go out contact me, I am always willing to walk out and meet you so you don’t have to walk in alone. I have never forgotten the kindness Lori showed me and I like to pass it on when I can.

Well now the important part, I have a new dress tonight and yes, I had to get some pictures, Melissa was nice enough to take them for me. I always try to get pictures but so much more fun when I have a pretty new dress to show off. A couple other girls showed up and it was great to see them also. I really do like spending time with my friends. Lauri also showed up around 10 so we had 6 of us here tonight. Melissa and I talked about Wednesday nights dinner and we decided to go to the Spaghetti factory on the Willamette River, we have gone here several times.

It was about 11 when I called it a night. It was a fun night out. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

April 26, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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