Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Two weeks to Diva Las Vegas

Wow it is only two weeks to Diva Las Vegas, how time has flown. I am all ready for it, I have signed up for all my activities including golf. This year there are 4 of us from our Portland group the Rose City T-Girls will be playing golf and I think we have about 12 going to Diva Las Vegas at some point over the week. It will be so much fun. There are 3 of us driving down and we will go through LA on the way down and back and go out there also like we did 3 years ago, wow hard to believe it has been 3 years since my first time going.

As I said it is coming up fast now but there is still time to register and go if you want. Tomorrow I am calling to set up an appointment to get my nails done on Thursday April 11 which I am so looking forward to. I love long pretty acrylic nails. Once my nails are done I will be Susan for the next 10 days 24/7. The only bad thing is I can’t find time to fit in a pedicure so what is a girl to do. That is right I just got done giving myself a pedicure. Not as relaxing as having someone else give you a pedicure but it was cheaper. So now I have beautiful toes in a fuchsia color, it is not from OPI as I had to use what I had.

I will be blogging on my trip to Diva Las Vegas as I have in the past. I am looking forward to spending time with my friends, seeing some friend I have made but live to far away and also meeting some new friends.

March 31, 2013 Posted by | Diva Las Vegas | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday dinner with friends

Well I had the opportunity to go out Wednesday night so I thought I would go downtown Portland and meet up with my friends for dinner. Now it was a nice day and is staying light later so as I was getting ready to leave I noticed my neighbors were out front. Now as I have said in previous blogs my two neighbors know about my crossdressing but their kids do not and that is what made it hard as their kids were also out playing in the street so what to do. Well I put a shirt over my top and left my wig off and on went the sunglasses the only thing that they might have noticed was my lipstick but I tried not to look towards them so hopefully the kids didn’t notice anything. Down the street I stopped in a parking lot to put my wig on. Funny as I use to do this all the time when I went out during the summer.

I got downtown about 6:50 and found a parking spot about a block from Fox & Hound. The walk to Fox & Hound was nice as it really is a nice day out. Kim, Chris, Roxy, Laura, Cristine, & Michelle were all there. I sat next to Kim so I could talk with her; it has been a while since Susan was out with Kim. It was nice to have a nice dinner and chat. Julie, Lynn, Jan and Cassandra also showed up so we had a good group for the night.

We also had a new girl show up named Isabel; she was in town from Southern California and had gone to Victoria Sinclair’s to get ready. She seemed really nice and did a great job remembering all our names which is something I don’t think I could have done with meeting that many new people. Turns out she has family in the area so I am sure we will see her again. Cassandra and I talked about Diva Las Vegas which is fast approaching, April 14-19. It will be so much fun.

It was a fun night but as always went way to fast. The rest of the group was heading over to CC’s to play pool but as my male side has to work early I had to head home.

Thanks for reading.

March 28, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night with my friends again

Wow it has in fact been 3 weeks sense I have been out on a Friday night with my friends. Now I did see some on Wednesday as I had a wonderful lunch with Amy and also as my meeting that night got canceled and I was already Susan I took the opportunity to meet up with some of them for a few hours at Fox & Hound and CC’s but Fridays are I think my favorite night just because I don’t have to get up early or work Saturday so I can stay out later.

I got home late Friday night so it was a rush to get ready; well I guess I didn’t have to rush as I could always be fashionably late which is a ladies prerogative. I do so enjoy the whole getting ready part of being Susan and I know there are a lot of GG’s out there that will disagree and hate the time getting ready but you must remember I don’t get to do it that often, couple times a week and that has only been the last several years so it is still new and fun for me, maybe in 20 or 30 years I will feel different but I really doubt it. Well the desire to be out won and I rushed to get ready still taking the time to try to look my best. Even with that I still didn’t get there till after 7 so I had to park about a block up the street. I got out of my car and walked into Sweet Home, now thinking back a few years it would have been a big thing to get out of the car. I would have carefully looked around and made sure no one else was there or waited for them to go, made sure there was no traffic and the path to the club was clear. Today I just go the same as if I was my male self, actually most times I don’t even think about how I am dressed any more as it just feels normal and so much a part of me just as my male side does. Well I guess I did think about how I was dressed a little as when I stepped out onto the street in my 3″ heels one has to notice the difference in walking.

Inside Cassandra, Chris, Samantha, Amy, Kelli, and Laura were already there so we were off to a good turnout tonight. Now it was funny as there was a couple there and the lady well let’s just say she got an early start drinking and was having a good time and she really loves us T-girls well she came over a couple times leaving her boyfriend alone to hang out with us than she would go back to their table for a bit but soon she would be back. Now yes we were all flattered but we also didn’t want to be seen as an issue between them as that would not be good. Well it finally happened as about the fifth time she went back to the table the guy came over to us and to our surprise he started talking with us and hung out with us for a bit before going back to his girlfriend and that is how it went for the next hour. He would come over and go back and then she would come over and go back. I think they both spent most of their time with us instead of each other but in the end they left together.

It wasn’t long and others started to show up, Roxy, Michelle, Petra, Queeny, Sasha, Samantha, Kara, Joan and I just know this poor blonde is missing some. It was another awesome night and just what this girl needed after not being able to be Susan for awhile. It is funny as a few years ago I would go long periods without being Susan and it didn’t seem to bother me but now I have integrated Susan into my life and she has become a big part of it that I have to express that side of me on a regular basis. Now I am not saying she is taking over or I need to be her full time but there is a need for her in my life and I would not be the person I am without out her in my life. You could say she complements my male self and completes me.

Heather from the Karaoke group was there and of course she had to come over and talk with us. She is wonderful and always looks forward to seeing us. Jessica also came over and she had on these really cute high heels so of course we talked shoes for awhile. We have actually made some good friends there and they and not just with the woman of the group even several of the men come over and talk with us which just goes to show if you get to know the person you are more likely to find you are not that different and that is how friendships happen.

Well it was time for Karaoke and of course several of our group got up and sang Chris, Laura, Queeny and Sasha and all did a great job. I give them a lot of credit for doing it. I still have not worked up the courage to get up and sing as I am afraid people will stair and me and laugh and I feel the same about my dancing and yet I will dress as Susan and walk in almost any place without worrying what others think, I guess we all have our little hang-ups.

Well Cassandra, Michelle, and I got a chance to talk about Diva Las Vegas which is 3 weeks away. It is hard to believe how fast it is approaching. Now our group is going to have at least 12 of us there, some for the start and some at the end but still pretty good and there are a few more that are thinking about it. I am all ready as I have my hotel reservations set, my shopping done in fact the only thing I have left is to fit a pedicure in before we leave and of course Thursday April 11 get my nails done. I need to set up my appointment to get Acrylic nails for the trip and from then on I will be Susan 24/7 till we get back and I remove the nails. I think I will call this week for my appointment. We have also signed up for the activities we want to do. It will be so much fun.

I also got an e-mail from Trisha and her wife who I have not seen in over a year. They are also going for the first half of the week and I am so looking forward to seeing them again. This is going to be such a fun trip. There is still time if any of you reading this want to go. Check out their web page and sign up as you will have a blast. As they say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, well I guess not all as I will of course blog about it. The last numbers I saw they had about 200 signed up which means this could be the biggest year yet. The cool thing is you only do the things you want to do with the group and just pay your way so there are no costs to attend so it really is like taking a vacation with friends.

Any way thanks for reading and hope to see some of you at Diva Las Vegas April 14-19.

March 23, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Another day as Susan

Well I also had today off work so it was another chance to be Susan and hopefully finish my shopping for Diva Las Vegas. I was up a little later than yesterday but still had the whole day for Susan. I was also going to meet Amy for lunch so it would be a full day. I decided to go to Clackamas Town Center. This is the first time I have gone there since December. I got there only to find the mall did not open till 10 so I went across the street to Kohl’s, I actually like Kohl’s as they have nice stuff at a reasonable price. Now yesterday I got all the tops I needed for the trip and today my goal were some Capri’s. Again being early they were not that busy. Turns out early mornings mid week are a great time to go shopping.

I found myself looking at tops again as they are just so cute, I really like cute cloths it is such a shame that men’s clothing is so boring. Well I finally got back on track and went over to the pants section now even woman’s pants are cute. Now tops are easier to fit but pants must be tried on so I found a couple cute pairs of Capri’s and off to the dressing room. I tried them on and my guess at my size was perfect as they fit great. I was happy as this was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I went back to the rack and grabbed one more pair and off to the check out I went.

I had to stand in line for a few minutes before it was my turn. The lady at the counter addressed me as Miss and was very pleasant. She even tried to get me to open a Kohl’s credit card as I would save 20% on my purchase I just didn’t see the need for yet another credit card plus I really didn’t want to have to pull out my male ID and give her the information. I know her and the lady behind me knew I was not born female but I felt no reason to prove it. I left the store happy and should be all set for Diva Las Vegas now.

I still had time before I needed to leave to meet Amy so I went back over to the Sears store at Clackamas for a little more shopping. Now this store is laid out different as it looks like they are separated by brands instead of size which made it a little harder to shop but it did cause me to walk all over the store. I spent a while looking but didn’t find anything other than a really cute pair of boots with heels. The box said it was a size 10M but wow if they were my feet has really grown as I couldn’t even began to get my foot into them. I am sure they were miss labeled.

Well it was a little after 11 now so I decided to head for Tiger Lilly where I would meet Amy for lunch and I had plenty of time which was good as there was a wreck on the freeway which I got caught in for about 25 minutes. Now sitting in traffic is never fun but I had time and made the best of it.

I got to Tiger Lilly which is in Vancouver just before noon, actually Amy pulled in right in front of me so I parked right next to her. By the time I got inside Amy had already got us a table. They were not busy at all so we sat by the window so we could watch outside. This is only the second time I have been there but it is a nice place with good food. We talked for a bit before ordering. Our waitress was awesome and I forgot to get her name. We had a good lunch and ended up sitting there for over two hours talking. Yes Susan does like to talk and have good conversations. It was a very enjoyable afternoon and so much more fun having lunch with a friend than by yourself, thanks Amy we will have to do it again. It is funny as I made sure I had my camera to get a picture but when we were there I never thought about it. Wow Susan is slipping on her pictures quota.

Well it was after 2 when we left and went our separate ways. I only had a couple hours before I have to be home so I decided to go to Starbucks and update my blog. I got to the Starbucks I normally go to and they were really busy, it is a smaller one so I decided to go up the street to another one which is much bigger. It is actually the first one I went to several years back and they were also busy but they have twice as many tables so I was able to find a table to sit at. It has been an awesome day. I have had fun as Susan, got my shopping for Diva Las Vegas done and had a wonderful lunch with a friend, what could be better.

Thanks for reading.

March 20, 2013 Posted by | shopping | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Full day as Susan

Wow it seems like so long since I have blogged or for that matter had time to just be Susan. It has in fact been over two weeks since I have had the chance to be Susan. My male side had so family things to do so Susan was put in the closet for a while which is okay as Susan is not the only thing in my life and family is still important. The first thing I did when I got home was to paint my toe nails. I had removed the nail polish just in case as I didn’t want any of my family to see the red toes. Well I tried to think about this and I think I have only had 1 day in the last 5 years that my toes were not painted till this past week. It really is funny when you see your bare toes for the first time in so long. That whole week every time I saw them it was a little sad, well that is over as they are a pretty red again. Well it turns out I had taken vacation days for today and tomorrow for a hearing that of course got postponed so what else could I do but use the days off for some Susan time and of course some shopping.

Diva Las Vegas is fast approaching only about 25 days away and Susan needs some new outfits for the trip. So I got up this morning and got Susan all ready for a day of shopping, my first stop was Kohl’s as I have a gift card for them. Now I chose the one in Beaverton just off Hwy 217 for two reasons, first it is not that close to where I live so less chance of running into someone I know, second the other stores I wanted to go to are also in that area so less driving and more time shopping.

I got to Kohl’s a little after 9 and of course being a Tuesday morning they were not that busy so I got a parking spot close. I spent about an hour browsing and looking at all the pretty cloths which is something my male side would never do. I found a lot of cute p0retty things but as always not many in my size. I finally settled on a cute top but couldn’t decide between the two colors I liked so what is a girl to do, buy both. I also found a third top so I was happy. I went to the checkout and of course it was more than my gift card but not by much. The lady at the checkout always referred to me as miss which always makes me feel good. She thanked me for shopping there and treated me as any other female customer.

My next stop was Nordstrom’s Rack, now this is going to be hard to believe but I don’t think I have ever been in a Nordstrom’s Rack before. I spent some time looking at shoes here as they actually have a pretty good selection of the bigger size shoes. I found two awesome shoes well one was a leather boot with a 3″ spike heel and it was only $59 down from $179 but it was just a little too small for me as was the other pair of heels. I spent about 45 minutes here and did find a really cute top so I was 2 for 2 in my shopping trip. I was helped by a young man here and he also always referred to me as Miss also. This is turning out to be a wonderful day.

My next stop was Burlington Coat Factory which I also like and it was almost right next door. I also checked out their shoe section but again the few I really liked just didn’t come in my size so off to the clothing section. I spent a good hour here also looking at dresses as they have a pretty good selection of dresses. Now they had a sale on leggings which is something I have never bought for myself as I wasn’t sure how they would look but as they were only $5.99 I figured why not. I also went over and checked out their sleepwear section as I really need a new nightie for Las Vegas as the one I have is not as cute anymore. It took some work but I did find a cute nightie for the trip so I was happy, 3 stores 3 purchases. The lady who checked me out here again addressed me as Miss and was very friendly. She told me how cute my nightie was and it was a good choice.

It was almost noon now so it was time for lunch. My last stop on my shopping trip would be Lloyd Center so I figured I would find a place over there for lunch. As I was driving I got a phone call and I could see it was from Cassandra. Now as I do not have hands free I had to find a place to pull over and I listened to her voice mail. It turns out I had just drove past her and she saw me and called to see what I was doing. So as I was stopped I called her back and we talked for a while. Makes you wonder how many people you drive by that you know and never pay attention. I got over by Lloyd Center and found a Panda Express, now I chose this place for one reason, I could eat my lunch with a fork and not mess up my lipstick, my male self would have gone for a burger. Now parking here was not the best so I had to park about a block away and walk which was okay as it was not raining.

The young lady who helped me also always referred to me as Miss, I think she was new and probably still in High School and I could see from the way she looked at me this was probably the first time she has ever seen a transgender person. She did great and treated me well, she even told me how nice I looked today and what girl doesn’t want to hear that.

From here it was over to Sears at Lloyd Center as they have good sales and of course Susan had another gift card. Who doesn’t love free money? Again the first stop was the show section and they had these really cute ankle boots with 3″ heels for $24.99 but try as I may I could just not fit into the boot. The biggest they had was a 10M and I needed a 10W, woman tend to have narrower feet. So off to the clothing section I went. As I was browsing I noticed another woman and I am pretty sure she was transgender but I never got close enough to talk with her or know for sure. Again I found a really cute top in two colors I liked so I bought both. I think I am good on tops now for the trip. After shopping here I ventured out into the mall for a while and checked out some of the other stores, more window shopping than anything else. I think all I really need now are some pants most likely Capri’s and maybe a necklace as my jewelry selection is pretty sad. I found a couple really cute necklaces but they also had earring for pierced ears which I don’t have and so I didn’t buy them which I later regretted as I could have always gave the earrings away. Well there is always tomorrow.

So on my way home I decided I was not ready to call it a day so I stopped at my favorite Starbucks, yes I brought my computer with me for a warm drink and to catch up on e-mails and my blog on my computer. It has been a really good day and I have tomorrow to look forward to also.

Well that is it for now, thanks for reading.

March 19, 2013 Posted by | shopping | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Friday night with friends after a long week

Well it has been a really busy week for my male self so there was no Susan time till tonight and even then I didn’t get home till 5:30 so Susan would have to rush to be ready so she could be out with her friends by 7, Susan takes a little more effort to get read but I don’t mind as I enjoy the time getting ready. There is just something fun about putting on makeup. Well as always it took a little longer getting ready so I did not get to Sweet Home till about 7:15 but that was fine as it would be a fun night after all I would be out with my friends.

Chris, Laura, Cristine and Roxy were already there, it is so great that we have such an active group that way if you want to go out you know others will be there so you are not alone. I think that is why some don’t go out, the fear of being the only transgender person. We chatted for a bit but I was hungry as I hadn’t ate for hours not that I couldn’t go that long so I ordered there special which tonight was my favorite.

Kim showed up which was awesome as just seeing her puts a smile on my face. What a great way to start a weekend. Of course I squeezed her in next to me so we could talk. We made plans to get together this week, yes another date but it will probably be my male side that goes out with her. I have been thinking about this as Kim knows Susan pretty well but I want her to get to know my male side also as that is also a big part of who I am. Wow that is funny as I always thought it would be me introducing Susan to my girlfriend and hoping she could accept that part of me instead of introducing my male self, Kim has only met him once so far. Kim couldn’t stay late but it was still great to see her so we said goodbye for now.

Samantha and Queeny showed up. It is funny as I have known them for a long time and the first time I met them I thought she called herself Tweeny and I have called her that ever since and she never noticed. I guess they were reading my blogs and noticed it, what can I say I am blonde. That is the cool thing about being blonde as you can always use it as an excuse.

Jan Lynn, Lorraine and Petra also showed up so we had a good size group, not as big as the last couple weeks but still good. It was good to see Lorraine as it has been more than a month since she has been out so it was good to talk with her and see what was new in her life. It is funny as my male self is not as social as and way shyer than my female side. Maybe someday I will take the time to figure out all the differences between my male and female self as I am sure it would be interesting at least to me

One of the girls from the Karaoke group came over and gave us all a hug, it turns out tonight was her birthday she turned 30 and she was excited. We all wished her a happy birthday of course. Hard for me even to remember that far back to when I turned 30; wow did I just say that. It is cool though that the Karaoke group actually likes us being there and we have good interaction with them, in a way they are like part of our group.

Well it was time for Karaoke to start and yes Chris, Queeny and Lynn all sang and did great. I still haven’t worked up the courage to sing by myself yet but maybe someday as I think it would be so much fun. The times I have sang with someone else I had a blast.

Well it got late and soon the night must end, it was Samantha, Queeny, Jan, Lynn and me that were the last of our group to leave. It is always sad to see the night come to an end.

This month is a busy one for both my male and female sides as I have lots going on. Susan will be out more during the week than on the weekends. Actually Susan will miss the next two weekends. This week though Susan has an appointment Wednesday with our Attorney to get ready for our hearing on the P-club and on Thursday I have a meeting with the investigator and Attorney for BOLI to answer my questions and go over what will happen in the hearing later this month. We have all been talking about it and really none of us have ever had to testify in a hearing or court and it is funny that our first time will be as our female selves. Still scary and nervous about it as I know that I will have to give my male name and that this could out me to everyone but I, we all feel it is something we have to do. Sometime you have to take a stand for what is right no matter what the cost. It reminds me of my favorite quote from the movie Princess Diaries (cute movie) Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all.” So when ever my fears start to get to me I just think of this.

Any way my blog dates will be a little erratic the next several week but I will still be bloging.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend

March 2, 2013 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment


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