Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Going away get together for Jennifer Carr

Well it is Saturday and Guin was hosting a small get together for Jennifer Carr as she is moving to Southern California. It is hard for me to get out during the day on Saturdays but this was important so I made sure I could go. I first met Jennifer at the 2011 Halloween Party although we had e-mailed back and forth some before that. She is an awesome person and one of the wonderful friends I have made as Susan so it will be hard to see her move away. She has come a long way since that first time we met which was her first time out to now living full time as Jennifer. This is me and Jennifer.

The party was from 4 to 8 and so I had to leave by a little after 3 to get there. Thank god for my GPS because I would have never found Guin’s house without it. Guin defiantly does not have to worry about her neighbors seeing her but then again she is also full time now so that is not a worry. Well I finally got there; Guin has a beautiful house that she is remolding plus adding on to it. Well it wasn’t long and others showed up Asia, Dahlia, Brenna, Michelle, Kara, Cassandra, Victoria, Stephia & Jennifer.

Some of these girls it has been a long time since I have seen them. Dahlia use to come out occasionally to the P-Club but since we were kicked out of there I have not seen her so it was nice to talk with her again. Brenna I think came out to Sweet Home once a while back as has Kara but still nice to get a chance to talk with them

Asia is a newer member of our group and the couple times she has come out I wasn’t able to so this was the first time I have met her. She seems really nice, she is a GG and very supportive of transgender people. I had to get a picture with her because her dress was just so cute, what an awesome color.

Well Guin had set out snacks so we all sat around and ate and talked. It was really a nice afternoon and I was happy to get to spend some time with Jennifer before she leaves. I also gave my best pitch about Diva Las Vegas and that Jennifer should go as she will be living only a few hours away and she said she would think about it.

Well after we ate we brought out the cameras and everyone was taking pictures so I will include some of them at the end of the blog. It really was great to get to talk with all the girls but as always the time went by so fast. It was almost 8 and Cassandra had to leave, seems one of the girls from the group was coming to Portland with a friend and wanted Cassandra to meet them at the Boiler room as they didn’t want to be out by themselves. I told Cassandra I would stop by for a half hour or so because it was kind of on my way home.

We got there about 8:15 and the girl from the group texted Cass saying they were running late and should be there about 9 or so. Anyway we went in and there must have been 20 young ladies there for a Bachelorette party and no men at this point. We talked to some of the ladies while we stood in line to get drinks. Well about 20 minutes later another big group of ladies came in, must have been at least 20 in their group also for another Bachelorette party. So at this point there are probably 40+ young ladies there, Cassandra and me and maybe 2 other men.

Well they started up the Karaoke and of course Cassandra and I played pool. Now the table was missing the 4 ball so we did the best we could. A few more couples came in so there was maybe 10 men here now when another group of about 12 young ladies came in and you guessed it, it was another Bachelorette party. Now Bachelorette parties are great as almost all of the woman had on dresses or skirts and heels, so many cute dresses and shoes all in one place.

Well I beet Cassandra at pool which is always a high point for me. Well it turns out tonight was my night for pool as I won 8 games in a row including 2 against Cassandra. My last game I played doubles with some of the ladies from the one Bachelorette party as they wanted to play and of course I and the one girl from their group won.

Now as I said I was only going to stay till 9 when the other girls showed up which they never did but it was such a fun night it was 11:30 before I knew it. We had such a wonderful time with the one group of ladies including seeing who had the cutest heels. Well some of the girls wanted pictures with us including the Bachelorette so her friends took a bunch of pictures with us and of course I had them take one with my camera. This is me and Cassandra with her. It was so hot in there with all the people I am surprised my makeup hadn’t melted off by this point. It really was a fun day and night.

Well as I said here are some more pictures from the party.

This is Guin and me.

This is Jennifer, Me and Stefia

This is Michelle and me with Cassandra in the background.

We will all miss Jennifer but we all wish her the best as she goes forward with her life.

June 30, 2013 Posted by | Boiler Room, Party | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

First weekend of summer and I am out with my friends

Well it has been another long week so I was looking forward to a Friday night out with my friends. Now next week will be very busy for my male side so I really wanted to enjoy tonight. It is the first weekend of summer and we are finally going to have some nice weather, actually just a little too hot. Today was in the upper 80’s and for the next few days will be in the mid 90’s which is hot here as we normally only get a few days a year that break 90. No I love nice weather but as I tend/need to wear heavier makeup as I have more to hide then natural woman perspiration is my enemy as it makes my makeup feel and look bad, being a lady is hard work but so much fun. I started getting ready about 5 in hopes of being out the door by 6:30 well it was almost 7 when I left. Luckily I can make it to Sweet Home in about 15 minutes.

I got there and the parking lot was full so I had to park out on the street and walk a little in the heat. Now I just have to mention this as when I got out of the car I caught my panty hose on something and put a small run in them how frustrating. I love the feel and look of panty hose as I really think they make my legs look so much better but really a run so easy. Now the reason I bring this up as sometimes you can wear them forever and others it is a onetime shot. These were bran new one I had just put on a half hour ago and the reason for that is the pair I wore Wednesday night I hooked my heel on when I got out of the car and put a run in them which by the way was also a brand new pair, someone needs to design a run proof nylon, well just a little off topic. Inside Cassandra, Chris and Laura were already there so I joined them. Chris had his laptop and was showing us a couple funny videos he found online. I ordered their special a seafood combo and we sat around and talked for a while.

Well it wasn’t long and more of our girls started to show up and soon we were crowded around the table. Cristine, Bobbie, Roxy, Michelle, Cassie and Kim showed up. Kim had on this really cute colorful skirt and looked awesome; this was going to be a wonderful night. Well we started to play pool and Laura and I were first to play. I did pretty well and almost won but missed my 8 ball shot and Laura didn’t so she won. I went back to the table and sat next to Kim so we could talk. Kim, Chris, Roxy and I spent the next hour just talking and having fun.

Well it was time for Karaoke and the other group still hadn’t got there yet as they were helping one of them move so Kim and Chris were first to sing and they did awesome as always and Laura was next and also did great. It was funny as at this point there were so few people singing that after these two songs the Karaoke guy Mark sang next then Chris, Kim and Laura again. Kim sang the song “One way or another” by Blonde and did awesome. Chris sang “Live and Let Die” by Paul McCartney and did great. I love both these songs. It was after 10 when some of the Karaoke group showed up and about 10 of them put their names in to sing.

Well Kim and I put money up to play pool and waited our turn. I went first and got to play Cassandra. I really wanted to win not just because it is so much fun to win against Cassandra but also I would get to play Kim the next game. Again I played well but again missed my 8 ball shot and Cassandra didn’t and won. While we were playing one of the ladies at the bar told me how cute my heels I was wearing were and they really are as I get all kinds of compliments on them something I have never gotten on any of my male shoes. Well Kim played Cassandra and did awesome as she does not play a lot of pool. She only had one ball left when Cassandra was going for the 8 ball and Cassandra scratched and sunk the cue ball and loss so Kim won, way to go Kim.

Well by now it was getting late and Kim had to leave as she had to get up early to do some work so I walked her out to her car. It was a beautiful night for a walk as it was still about 75 out. Here is a little funny side note, as a guy I have walked with girls and always had to slow down and wait for them and always wondered why they walk so slowly. Tonight and last Wednesday when I was walking with Kim I found myself falling behind and having trouble keeping up with her and then it hit me. I had on my 3 ½ inch heels and hers shoes were flat. You can’t take as big of steps or walk as fast in heels. I love heels but they really are not made for walking especially on uneven ground. It is still strange to walk her out as her boyfriend while dressed as Susan. She even told me how pretty I looked tonight as she loves the dress I wore which I already knew, I wore this dress tonight just for her as I knew she would be there and I wanted to look pretty for her. Well we said our goodbyes and she headed off home and I went back inside.

It was pretty busy inside and Karaoke was in full swing. Petra had even showed up and she went up and sang a song also and did great. We sat and talked some more and listened to Karaoke for another hour or so and just had a wonderful time. It was almost and it was just Cassandra, Cristine, Bobbie and I left from our group when we decided to call it a night. It was still 73 outside and so nice. It was just a wonderful evening all the way around.

Now we get into the heat for the next several days and Susan has a going away part for Jenn tomorrow as she is moving to California soon and I assume we will be outside some of the time, I will have to get some pictures. It will be sad to see her move away as she really is an awesome friend and I will miss her.

Well thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend.

We still haven’t heard anything on our case against the P-Club & Chris Penner but we do know that all the legal briefs have been filed and now it is just waiting for the judge to render his decision. The one thing we do know Chris Penner has put the old P-Club up for sale which really doesn’t change anything.

June 29, 2013 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night with friends

Well it is Wednesday and I have the chance to go out to dinner with my friends. Now I can’t stay out late as I work early but I really wanted to go out. I was actually ready earlier than normal and left my house about 6 so I was downtown by 6:20 and met Chris and Cristine at Fox & Hound. It wasn’t long and Kim showed up which was awesome and one of the reasons I went out tonight I was really looking forward to seeing her. Victoria also showed up so we all talked about what we wanted for dinner and finally decided on walking a couple blocks up to the House of Louie for Chinese food.

Cassandra showed up and we told her we wanted to go for Chinese so she sent out a group text so anyone that might be planning on meeting us will know where we went, I also sent a text to Mikaela as I knew she was planning on joining us. The 6 of us left and made the 2 block walk to House of Louie. It was a nice warm night so the walk was nice and I got a chance to talk with Kim.

We got to House of Louie and got one of the big tables in case others came for dinner. It wasn’t long and Mikaela showed up. It was good to see here again. It was an enjoyable evening and a nice dinner with my friends. We stayed there till about 9 before we left. We walked back to CC Slaughters and most of the girls went in but as I had to get up early I needed to go home. Kim was also leaving so I walked her to her car, it was an awesome evening and so hard to leave and go home.

June 27, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out again with friends at Sweet Home

Well it has been another long week for my male self so I was not able to get out at all this week so I am really looking forward to tonight. I got a text from Cassandra wondering what time I would be there so we agreed to try to be there by 6:30 which means starting getting ready a little earlier which is okay with me as I love the whole time getting ready and transforming into Susan. I spent about an hour and 40 minutes becoming Susan and it was so worth it as it really relaxed me after the long week. I was getting dressed and notice 3 of my neighbor kids out-front playing so now I had that to worry about. Not much I can do about the makeup but I can leave my wig off so that was my plan. I finished getting dressed and looked out again and didn’t see them so I put my wig on and down to the car I went completely as Susan. I opened the garage door and no one in sight so I pulled out and turned down my street only to see the 3 kids riding their bikes towards me on the side walk. Not much I could do at this point but pull down the sun visor and keep going. Wonder if they saw me and realized who I was.

I got to Sweet Home right at 6:30 and Laura was the only one from our group there. we both ordered dinner as they had the New York Steak dinner special which is their best I think, Cassandra showed up just a few minutes later and Melissa was right behind her. Well we all had dinner and talked for a bit, we are trying to get a small group together to go golfing next month as we had so much fun at Diva Las Vegas golfing. We are hoping to get maybe 3 foursomes to go the only problem is we need to make sure those who say they will go show up. Melissa is the one who is putting this together which is awesome of her.

Well we started to play pool and Laura and I were first. It was a good game and Laura was a little off but at the end she was down to the 8 ball and I still had 3 balls left when she missed giving me another shot and I ran the rest of the table, I sunk all 3 of my balls and then the 8 ball to win so I was off to a good start. Next I played Melissa and well the outcome was not the same. I did play a good game but Melissa was just a little better and won.

More girls showed up including Bar, Cristine, Veronica, Joan, Guin, Michelle, Cassie in male mode, Petra in male mode, Jan & Lynn so we had a good turnout. It is always harder in the summer to get girls out as it stays light so late and tonight is the longest day of the year. A lot of T-girls don’t like going out when it is light outside, I remember a few years ago I would not leave my home till it was completely dark so in the summer time it was always after 10 before I left. Now I want to go out and how light it is out doesn’t matter to me.

Well it was great to see these girls out and talk with them. This was Barbs second week in a row as last week she came out to one of her neighbors. She use to get dressed in the car as she has a long walk from where she lives to her car. I can remember dressing in my car years ago, seems we do what we have to when we want to go out. Any way she was a little disappointed as she walked out to her car again this week as Barb and didn’t see any of her neighbors. How cool is that as she has gone from worrying about them finding out to wanting them to see her, a big step.

I also got to talk to Guin for a bit she also hasn’t been out as much lately, she went full time several months ago so she goes everyplace as Guin and she is doing great. It was fun talking to her and catching up on how things are going for her. I also got to talk with Veronica as she was in town this weekend and joined us. Last time I saw her was at Diva Las Vegas. Well it was my turn to play pool again and Melissa was who I got to play as she had been winning since she beat me. It was another close game but I lost again.

Well it was time for Karaoke and Laura was the first to sing, actually it was a small crowd tonight as the Karaoke group that always shows up had a party they went to instead. We all missed them as they are such a fun group to hang out with. We did meet several new people there though. The table next to us had 3 men at it and one came over and started talking to Cassandra, his name was Kirk, he introduced us to his partner and friend and we actually talked with them for a long time.

I was also at the bar getting another drink and the girl next to me told me how cute my shoes were which they really are. I also told her how cute here shoes were as she had on these low boots with 4″ spiked heels. I think her name was Nicky any way for the next 5 minutes or so Nicky, I think her mom and I stood there and talked about heels. I have found this an easy way to start a conversation with woman. On the other hand this does not work with men after all when was the last time you heard a couple men talking about shoes and how cute they are. One of the fun things about being Susan is I get to talk about stuff like shoes, makeup and cloths.

Well a lady at the bar came over and told us how great we looked and what girl doesn’t like to hear that. Her name was Ahndine and she also introduced us to her boyfriend Mathew. They were really nice and we talked for a while. She even told me I looked like Taylor Dayne, now I know she is a singer but that is all so she told me if I didn’t know who she was I must be younger than her. Well I was pretty sure I was older then her as my makeup really helps. Any way she was shocked to learn that not only was I older but 10 years older and she made the comment that she hopes she looks as good as I do when she is my age which made my night. Now this is the funny part as she asked me how I look so young and good and I told her it was daily moisturizer and of course makeup as that really helps. She went back to her table and got her purse and came back and touched up her makeup and put on some lipstick. I know a lot of woman don’t like makeup and maybe if I had to wear it every day all the time, well I think I would still love it. Any way we had a great evening and made some new friends.

As I said it had been a long week and I really only planned on staying out till midnight but as always time flies and soon it was after 1:30 so we decided it was time to leave actually it was just Cassandra, Jan, Lynn and me still left. Well we said our goodbyes and of few went. It was a great way to end a busy week.

Thanks for reading and hope you all have a great weekend.

June 22, 2013 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night at Sweet Home June 14 2013

Well it has been another long week and this is my first chance to get time as Susan and go out so I have been looking forward to it all week. The weather all week has been on the cool said and rainy even today was rainy and cool till about 5 when it cleared off for the weekend and got warm so now I am wondering if the neighbor kids will be out playing when I leave, anyway no time to worry about that as I need to get ready. I took extra time tonight getting ready as I really do enjoy the whole experience of becoming Susan. I know some probably think my spending 2 hours getting ready would not be fun but I always point out that I don’t do this every day, maybe if I was doing it all the time I would think different but I doubt it as I find it fun and relaxing. Anyway I was ready to leave and looked outside and saw no one so off I went.

I got to Sweet Home right at 7 sand their parking lot was full, all 5 spots so I found a spot on the street. The bright side is the fact their parking lot is so small it is easy to walk across it in my high heels. Inside Chris, Roxy and Laura were there. We weren’t sure how busy it would be tonight with the weather being nice suddenly and also it is Pride weekend so a lot of the girls will be out on Sunday but no matter who shows up it will be a fun night.

There was a lady at the next table and as I walked by to go order my dinner she stopped me and told me how cute my heels were which made me feel good. I will point out as a guy I have never been stopped by anyone and told how cute, nice, hot or so one my shoes were, actually I have never had anyone comment on my male shoes but it is a common thing when I wear heels. Anyway we talked for a bit and she also had on really cute spiked high heels.

Well Kim showed up and it was great to see her again, actually my male side saw her last night and tonight it is Susan that gets to spend time with her. We talked for a bit, she has a friend coming tonight that she has known for years. It was just turning out to be a fun night.

Well some more of our group showed up, Melissa, Petra, Alizabeth, Michelle, Bob and Barb. Barb was telling us as she left home she walked behind a couple of her neighbors and finally went up and said hi and talked to them as Barb, wow what a big step. She talked to them for a bit and they seemed fine with her so now she is out at least a little. I know two of my neighbors know and are fine with it and I know they have seen pictures of Susan but I have not met them face to face yet, actually I am not sure they would even want to meet me as Susan. After all it is one thing to know someone crossdresses but another thing to meat or be a part of it. I have seen many comments online where people have said they have no problem with transgender people they can do whatever makes them happy but a lot of time they add that it is not something for them or that woman don’t want a man that dresses. I guess I am lucky I found Kim and met her as Susan first. Any way it was a big step for Barb.

It was fun to spend time with my friends and talk. Kim’s friend finally made it his name is David and he seems really nice. I got a chance to talk with him and he did have a few questions about transgender most of which I think was more how to talk to us and address us without offending us which I think is a big stumbling block for many as they just don’t know what to say or are afraid they might offend us or we might take something the wrong way.

Now this is the spot where I give my opinion and how I view it and think of it, this is just my opinion and may or may not be that of anyone else. There that being said here goes. The general rule of thumb is if someone is dressed as male refer to them as male, he/him/sir/mister if they are dressing as female then refer to them as female, her/she, miss. If you are not sure what area of the transgender community I fall in then ask I will not be offended is you ask me if I am transsexual/drag queen/crossdresser or so on. After all just looking at how I am dressed you cannot tell well maybe you can tell I am not a Drag Queen. I and most transgender know that people have questions plus most of us like anyone else like to talk about ourselves as it is something we know a lot about. I also know that most people don’t know all the different terms for transgender people and what they all mean, I am not sure even I know all of them and their correct meaning. That is okay and if you ask me I will tell you what I know. Now as always this is me and not all transgender will feel the same but I hope most will.

Well it was a fun night and soon Karaoke started. Kim, Chris, Laura and Alizabeth got up and sang and all did awesome. It was a little busier than earlier but still not a big crowd. Lorraine even showed up which was great as I have not seen her for awhile. She was telling me that the P-Club is up for sale. This is the club we use to go to till about a year ago when we were asked not to come back as the owner didn’t want to be known as a gay or tranny bar. Well we had our hearing a little over a month ago and know just waiting on the Judge’s ruling which hopefully will be buy the end of August. We have heard that his business has really fallen off the past year.

Well it was getting late and Kim needed to leave so I walked her out to her car. We talked a little more and then I went back inside and they were really busy. That few minutes I was outside everyone must have come in. I talked with David a little more. I hope he felt welcome with our group. About 30 minutes later he said it was time for him to go so both Chris and I told him he was more than welcome to join us anytime and he said he would.

Heather was also there she is one of the Karaoke group that loves us. She got engaged a while back and she finally got her ring sized and had it on so she of course had to come and show us. She was so excited and never stopped smiling the whole night. Even her fiancé came over and talked with us for awhile.

Well it was about 12:30 when the few of us left called it a night. What a great start to my weekend. Thanks for reading and have a great weekend. 

June 15, 2013 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Relaxing and fun Saturday for Susan

Well today is Saturday and I have been looking forward to today for weeks. I am getting a pedicure today at 3 and going to Harvey’s Comedy Club tonight so I also thought I would go out early and maybe do some shopping or find a Starbucks for an hour or two first. Awesome plans but as always things don’t always work out as planned. By that I mean I was running late as things kept coming up and before I knew it, it was after 2 and I finally ready. Now I was meeting Peggy for pedicures at 3, I left my house at 2:10 and the Nail salon, Glamorous Nails (17475 Sw Farmington Rd. Aloha (503) 848-8259) is a 45 minute drive so I had just enough time to get there as long as I didn’t hit traffic so no shopping today.

I have been looking forward to getting g a pedicure for a long time; my last one was last fall. They are so relaxing if you have never had one you really need to try it. Well I got there just before 3 and Peggy was just pulling in. well we went in and they were busy, there were 5 women all getting pedicures so we had to wait a little. It is a good thing we made an appointment. Peggy and I went over and looked at the nail polish and picked out our colors. Now I love red and almost always choose a red color but being summer I picked a color called “That’s Berry Daring” which I thought would be a good summer color. Well it was a little after 3 when we got in the chairs and the one lady started on Peggy’s feet but the lady doing mine was still finishing up another lady so I just sat and soaked my feet for a few more minutes.

She finally finished and came over to me and said she was sorry I had to wait which really was no big deal. She has done my nails before and also removed my acrylic nails for me so she remembers me by name actually all the woman working here do which makes you feel special. Well for the next 45 minutes they trimmed our nails, scrubbed the bottoms of our feet, messaged our feet and calves, put lotion on and rubbed it in and then finish off with a hot towel. It really is the best 45 minutes you can have. The whole time Peggy and I were talking and sitting in a chair that messages your back. It is such an enjoyable time and having Peggy there made it all the better as it is always so much more fun to go with someone else.

  • Well it was time for the nail polish, now if I had doubts about the color as soon as she put it on they went away as it was an awesome color and perfect for summer. It really is a shame I don’t go barefoot so everyone can see them. Really the only time they are visible is when I am out as Susan and have open toe heels on and then it is seen through my nylons as my legs really need nylons to look good. Other than that it is just me who sees them at home but trust me they are gorgeous. Women are so lucky to be able to do this all the time and show them off. After she had put the color but before the top coat she said she was going to paint a little flower on my nail for free because I had to wait which again I told her was not problem. Any way she painted this little flower on each of my big toes and then did the same for Peggy. It is so cute, I have never had the nail art as I said no one other than me would really see it but now that I have it I really like it. She finished it off with a top coat and then all that was left was to let them dry. They were still really busy as people kept coming in to get pedicures and some were told they would have to come back as they only had 5 ladies working. It is a good thing we had an appointment. Here is a picture of the flower on my toes; there will be more pictures at the end of the blog.

Well it was about 4:15 when we left all the ladies there said goodbye to me by name which again made me feel welcome. I went over to Peggy’s as I was going to change there into my dress and freshen up for going out tonight plus Peggy also needed to get ready and she only lives about 5 minutes from this nail salon. Teresa stopped by so the 3 of us sat around and talked for a while and before I knew it, it was 6:10 and we hadn’t got ready yet. It was a quick transformation well really all I needed was to change clothes and touch up my makeup so I was ready by 6:30. I drove myself as I would leave for home from Harvey’s and Peggy road with Teresa.

I got downtown right at 7 and found parking close to Fox & Hound, Laura and Cristine were already there. It wasn’t long and others started to show up. Trisha and her wife showed up which was awesome as they have not been out with the group for a long time as they don’t get to Portland as often as they and we would like. It was great to spend some time with them and catch up on what is new; this was going to be a fun night. Peggy, Teresa, Julie, Trixy, Melissa, Jan and Lynn all showed up at Fox & Hound so we would have a huge group walking the 7 blocks to Harvey’s.

It was a nice summer evening perfect for walking so we left about 8:30 and went over to Harvey’s for the 10 o’clock show. We got there early enough that we found tables in the lounge so we didn’t have to stand plus we did not need to be first in line as we come here every month and know the people including our awesome waitress Kim. She always waits on us and we text her ahead of time and she makes sure we have tables reserved so we can all sit together.

Well we got inside for the show and found our tables and Kim came over and greeted all of us with a hug. She told me she loved my hair and asked if I had just got it done which made me feel good as she couldn’t tell it was a wig, the lighting is dim inside the show room. The show started and both the opening comedian and headliner were awesome and as another blonde moment I cannot think of their names but we laughed so hard. Harvey’s really does get some great comedians and if you are ever in Portland or live nearby you should go and check them out as it is a super fun night.

Well as always the show went by so fast and it was time to leave. We had 16 of us there for the show tonight. Kim our waitress came out and took a picture of us and texted it to Cassandra who couldn’t make it tonight. She gave us all hugs goodbye and told me it was great to see me again as she missed me the last few time, she had noticed I had not been with the group the last few times how special does that make one feel.

Well we all walked back to Fox & Hound as that is where most of us parked. It was sad to see the night come to an end as always. It was so great to see all my friends out for a fun night.

Well as promised here are some more pictures from my pedicure. You really should give it a try. Thanks for reading


June 9, 2013 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club, nail salon | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday night with my friends

Well it has been another long week for my male side so I really was looking forward to so Susan time with my friends. I am always so glad when Friday gets here and I can relax and be Susan but Fridays are awesome because I get to spend it not only as Susan but bout with my friends which is the best thing ever. Now being Susan is part of who I am and I need that chance or time as Susan to be happy but what is really key to being happy is having friends who accept it that I can spend time with. In some way it make me feel perfectly normal as Susan as a person.

Now my friends I have all met as Susan first with the exception of my two neighbors so that really made it easier to be Susan with them and yes several of them have met my male side now. Being able to go out with them and share this part of my life has really helped me grow and has made me the happy, healthy, and well balanced person I am and that hast to be good. I thing being with people you can talk to about this side of one’s life really helps you understand it. The transgender community is so big and encompasses so much from crossdresser to transsexual’s and Drag Queens and anywhere in-between. It can be hard for someone to understand who they are and where they fit in, as for me I am a Crossdresser, I live part of my life as a female and I am comfortable in both my male and female rolls.

Now I will say that I may be a little more comfortable in my female roll but that may be too many factors. One I have lived most of my life as my male self and really only been expressing my female side the last few years and by that I mean I have dressed all my life but as far as going out and presenting my female side it has been a short time so that newness may be one of the reasons I am more comfortable as Susan. I think the biggest reason why I am more comfortable in my female side as I am more open. By this I mean as Susan I hide very little mainly who my male person is, name, work where I live but everyone knows that I am male and cross-dress. As my male side I have had to hide not only a big part of my life but a big part of who I am so I am always on my guard and as such I don ‘t let people get real close to me which is a shame but something a lot of transgender people share.

Now when my two neighbors ladies (and I think their husbands) found out I was a little scared but more than that I was relieved as that had always been one of my biggest fears. They are fine with it and I have not noticed any difference in the way they act towards me which has made it a good experience. I sometimes wonder if they have questions about this side of me which they are afraid to ask as we have never talked about this since that first night but I would hope that they feel they could ask me as I am always willing to talk about this, I think that helps everyone understand more. Maybe one day I will bring it up and see if they have any questions but it is good to have understanding neighbors plus since they already know I would love to talk to them about it.

Wow got a little off track there so back to my Friday night. I was going to Sweet Home again tonight to meet my friends. It is such a fun night out and a great way to end a week. I got there at 7 and Chris and Laura were already there. I figured it would be a smaller group tonight as it is Rose Festival in Portland so lots of things to do downtown and also Tomorrow is the second Saturday of the month so we are going to Harvey’s Comedy Club again, we go here once a month and as of now we have 15 signed up to go so that will keep a few home as some of the girls can only get out once a week. Well it wasn’t long and Cristine, Bobbie, Roxy, and Michelle showed up so we had a full table. Some of the girls played pool; yes Laura did the best and won the most games. What is cool is the other customers here accept us and like us being there so we have good interaction with some of them which makes us feel like we are part of the bigger group.

Well time went by and soon it was Karaoke time. Chris and Laura sand several songs each and as always did a great job. Several of us even went outside at 10:40 as the international space station passed over us at that time and being a clear warm night we could see it. It was amazing how fast it moved across the sky, I would say only 2 minutes to go from horizon to horizon so you know it must be traveling fast. I am sure the cars going down the street were wondering what we were all doing standing out front looking up at the sky. There were probably 10 of us out there looking up.

Well we went back inside and picked up right where we were with our conversations, pool games and Karaoke. It was a fun night and as always went way to fast. Heather showed up, she is one of the Karaoke group that loves us and she always comes over and talks to us for a bit. She couldn’t stay late though so she and her fiancé left. Kelsey also showed up about 12:30 she was the one who first got me to sing Karaoke here with her. I got to talk to her briefly too. Well it was late and most of our group had left and it was just Laura and me. She was going to sing one more time so we decided to leave after her song. It was almost 1 when we left but it was a fun night.

Now it was home and to bed as tomorrow I am having more Susan time. I am getting a pedicure with Peggy at 3 and then the group is going to Fox & Hound at 7 and over to Harvey’s at 9 for the late show. I may leave my house early and go shopping or to a Starbucks before our nail appointment. The only thing that may be an issue is being a nice sunny Saturday my neighbors may be out working in their yards of the neighbor kids may be playing in the street, any way I am looking forward to Saturday.

Thanks for reading.

June 8, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Sweethome, Thoughts on Crossdressing | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Out with friends for a few hours

Well it has been another long week and I needed a little Susan time. The group was going to House of Louie for Chinese food and that sounded good so I decided to join them if even for just dinner as I really can’t stay out late during the week. My plan was to be there by 7 which is usually not an issue. So tonight I started getting ready a little early. I was all ready to leave by 6:10 so I was going to be early; at least that is what I thought. I looked out my front window and there were 6 or 7 neighbor kids playing basketball in the street right in front of my house so I waited for a bit. About 10 minutes later the guy across the street came out to play with also. Now it was a really nice sunny day so they may be out there for a while. Now I know the lady next door and also across the street knows about my dressing and I am pretty sure so do their husbands but I am pretty sure their children don’t know. So the question is how do I get out during the summer when it is nice. I thought for a moment and I really wanted to go out so I came up with the best idea I could.

I took my wig off and put it in the front seat of the car. Put on a man’s shirt over my top, sunglasses would hide the eye makeup the only issue was my red lipstick. For this I held my cell phone up like I was talking in hopes it would cover enough of my face that they wouldn’t notice. With this I started my car and opened up the garage door. I pulled out on the street and they stopped playing as I drove through the middle of them all. They watched me pass and I am not sure if they noticed anything or not but I was on my way out. I stopped just around the corner and took off my male shirt and put my wig and bracelets back on and I was all Susan again.

I got downtown Portland about 7:10 so not too late and found a parking spot right in front of Fox & Hound as this is where the group meets even if they are going to House of Louie and I figured I could see if they were there before walking the two blocks to House of Louie. Well just as I parked Cassandra and Chris came out to head over for dinner, they were the only two so far so I got out of my car and joined them.

Now tonight I wore my 4″ heels so walking a couple blocks was a challenge but fun. We got to House of Louie just as Cristine showed up. We all went in and got a big table as we knew there would be more showing up. Well somehow we started talking about Apps on cell phones so I was going to show Cassandra one of mine so I went into my purse to get my phone and it wasn’t there. I had forgot I was holding it as I drove away from home to hide my lips and had just sat it down on my passenger seat while driving so that is where it was. Now they don’t have a big problem around here with car break ins but than a smart phone just sitting on the seat is pretty tempting so I had to go get it which would mean walking the two blocks back to the car in my heels. So off I went. As I was leaving Roxy was coming in so we passed each other. Now I didn’t run but I did walk as fast as I could but still trying to look like a lady. I was almost to my car when I ran into Mikaela and I told her where I was going. She went on to House of Louie and I continued on to my car and sure enough right in the middle of my seat was my phone. I felt better now and walked back to the restaurant still a little faster than normal. I could really feel it in my lower legs and by the time I got back and sat down I could feel my leg muscles, this was a pretty good workout but got me thinking, how do girls go out and dance in shoes like this all night. My legs and feet would be dead.

Well Jan, Lynn and Julie all showed up so we filled up the big table and actually squeezed in so we could fit 2 more chairs at our table. We had a great dinner and I got to talk with Mikaela a lot more. She has been coming out regular for the last few weeks and has become very self confident in being out. She showed me her new shoes which were really cute and she got them at Target so I will have to go there and check out their shoe section as they seem to have the bigger sizes.

We had a really nice time but as always it went way to fast and soon we headed over to CC Slaughters so the girls could play pool. I went in for a little while yes my plans on leaving no later than 9 well you know how that goes as it was already past 9. We talked some more and of course Mikaela wanted to get a few pictures and I was only too happy to agree. Seems I don’t think about pictures as much anymore which is a shame as I like having something to post in my blog. This is Mikaela and me in CC’s.

It was a fun night and so hard to leave my friends and go home but I knew I had to so I said my goodbye’s and I was on my way. I will see them again Friday night as always but also Saturday as we are going to Harvey’s Comedy club which is always a fun night out. I am also going and getting a much needed pedicure Saturday afternoon with Peggy which will also be so much fun so I will have a lot to blog about this coming weekend.

Thanks for reading.

June 6, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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