Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday and a BBQ at Julie’s house

The Fourth of July was a busy day, I was out a Susan till after 3 went to a BBQ at 4, got home from the BBQ about 6:30 and then Julie texted me to see if I wanted to go watch the fireworks with her and Trixie, in male mode of course so I sad yes and was out the door again. The only reason I bring this up is while we were watching the fireworks Julie thought we should do a BBQ at her house on Saturday which is only 2 days away. So, I said I would come. She texted a couple other girls but being such short notice, they couldn’t make it so it would be just the 3 of us so that brings me to today, Saturday.

I started getting ready at 2 and of course it is a more casual day so I chose my black & white summer dress and sandals. I did my makeup and yes, I went with a red lipstick as I just love the color red. Now I have been using Maybelline Superstay and they have two kinds I like, the matte ink and the liquid and today is the liquid. Both stay on really well even soap and water won’t take them off I need to use baby oil on a cotton ball. I can eat or drink whatever I want and it stays looking great. I was on my way and got to Julies right at 4. I got a quick selfie in the car just in case I forgot to get pictures later. I have started doing this as I don’t think about pictures as much as I use to. years ago, when we went out all the girls had their cameras or phones out taking pictures but as we have gone out more and taken so many pictures over the years it just not as big of a deal. I can’t tell you how many pictures I have but it is in the thousands. If you think about it this is my 1190th blog which means even if it was just 1 picture per blog that is a lot and early on it was more like 10 or 20 pictures.

I rang the doorbell and Julie opened the door and she also was casual in a summer dress, but hers was longer than mine. Well we went in and sat at the counter and talked as we ate chips and dip, one of my favorite snacks. Julie, Trixie and I just relaxed and sat and talked and it really was fun. Before we new it, it was almost 6 the time went by so fast. Julie fired up the grill and she put the steaks on, it didn’t take long and soon we were eating, we ate inside as the weather was a little on the cool side as it was only about 68 outside. The food was awesome, Julie and Trixie wonderful cooks, Trixie did the salad and baked potato and Julie grilled the steaks. And after dinner there was ice cream. It was so wonderful. After we finished, we went and sat in the living room and continued talking. I was shocked when I looked at the time and it was after 9. Where had the time went. It did not seem like I had been here over 5 hours. I thought it was time to call it a night so I thanked them for inviting me and we said our goodbyes. It really was a wonderful evening with wonderful friends. I really am a lucky girl to have such awesome friends.

Thanks Julie and Trixie for inviting me into your home for a BBQ it was awesome. It was a good idea I got the selfie in the car as I put my purse down when I got inside and of course my phone was in it and I never once thought about getting my phone out or getting a picture. Really wish I had gotten some though.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in Susan’s life.

 

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July 8, 2019 Posted by | family, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Another Saturday night as Susan at the Escape.

It is Saturday and yes, another night out as Susan. Now I got home late today about 4 so I would have to rush to get ready as I like getting to the Escape early. Now it is a hot day today upper 80’s so I decided to wear my white and black summer dress, here is a picture from Diva Las Vegas of me in the dress I am wearing tonight. I was ready and on my way by 5 and got to the Escape about 5:30. Now there parking lot was full so I had to park on the street but it was a nice sunny day so I didn’t mind the short walk. I did bring my sweater as on hot days they sometimes have the air conditioner on low and it can get chilly inside. I got my normal table and ordered dinner and then caught up on some e-mails I have been behind on. I also posted my blog from Last Saturday which I wrote earlier in the day, yes it was a week late as have been really busy the last couple weeks.

Now I posted in the group I would be here but got no replies but I am sure someone will show up. Michele was the first to show up a little after 6. We talked a little, I really do enjoy this part of Susan as my male side is not big on just sitting and talking. We also talked about our group the Rose City T-girls as we have been getting some newer members out which is nice but we also have a few that are having a hard time with that first step out in public. I have been in touch with one who almost made it out a few weeks ago but at the very last minute couldn’t get out of her car so I gave her my cell # and told her to text me and I would come out and meet her at her car so she didn’t have to walk in alone. Well I hadn’t herd from her so I texted her to make sure she had my number and she texted me back that she just couldn’t o it again tonight. Now I am not putting her name in as I don’t wish to make her feel bad as there is nothing to feel bad about this. I just want to bring this out that it is really common. Walking out into the public as your female self the first time is really hard and I would say almost all of us have gone through it. I myself drove to Embers 3 time and sat in my car for an hour and then drove home never leaving my car. It was the 4th time and again I couldn’t do it and after an hour I was just getting ready to leave when another t-girls saw me in the car and tapped on my window to see if I was going in. had she not done that and showed me that kindness I would have gone home that night also. If you are struggling with going out your first time it is nothing to be ashamed, it is a big step. Reach out to someone for help if you can and if you are going out and know someone who is having trouble with going out be supportive and offer help, they will never forget you. I still remember Lorie the girl who helped me and that was I don’t know 20 years ago and I only saw her a few times going out. She got me out and Alice helped make me feel better about going out and I owe them so much. I will be in touch with her and hope I can help her as I know once she can get that first time behind her it will become easier.

Michele and I played a couple games of pool, I lost both but I at least made it a close game. We had another girl showed up so her and Michele played some pool, they are both better than I am at pool but I still enjoy it when I play. Karaoke started at 9 and it got loud again, I think they had the volume a little louder than normal so it really was hard to talk. About 9:30 Patty and her girlfriend showed up, Patty is one of our newer members and yes, her girlfriend is supportive. It was my first time meeting her girlfriend as the couple other times she has come out I couldn’t make it. She seems really nice and it is awesome she is supportive as it is not the normal reaction. We do however have quite a few wives and girlfriends of members who are supportive which is awesome. Coming out to someone is always a hard decision as you don’t know how they will take it and once it is out you can’t go back. Some girls say you should be completely honest and always tell, I don’t believe this is a black and white issue. Yes, if you are on hormones and planning on transitioning then yes you have to tell. If that is not your life course then there are choices you and only you can make. Don’t let someone else tell you how to live your life and who you have to tell. My view and only my view are if it doesn’t affect the person they don’t need to know. People I work with don’t need to know; I don’t plan on showing up at work as Susan. I look at it this way, I don’t talk golf with friends who don’t play golf, same with Baseball, fishing, hunting or guns, yes these are some of my interests but I have friends who don’t like or do these things. Did get a selfie tonight.

Lauri showed up at 10 so we had 5 of us tonight. It was a fun night with my friends. Now I did once again stay out latter then I planned, once again it was about 11:30 when I paid my bill and went home. I am not use to being up this late but it is good as next Saturday will be another late night as next Saturday is Portland’s Red Dress Party and I am going with Julie and Trixie and I am looking forward to it as it is a fun night and a wonderful place to people watch but most importantly is I will get to see Julie again. She has been out of town since last fall and I have missed her. As Susan I have a lot of wonderful close friends But Julie and Cassandra are my 2 best friends, they probably know the most about me in total of anyone.

Thanks for reading and be sure and ready my most recent blog to see what is new in Susan’s life

May 12, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night out at Escape, getting back into the routine.

It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I hope and pray you all had a wonderful one. Mine was good a little quiet, I had my mom over for the day and cooked dinner. It was a little different this year as I did the same thing last year for both my parents. It has been 9 weeks since my Dad passed away and it does get easier but there are certain things that you remember, things you did together and those can be hard. it was a good day though. Any way as I said it is Saturday night and I am going out to the Escape for a few hours. I had hoped to be there by 5pm but I didn’t get home till after 4:30 so I set my sights on 6 and started getting ready. I knew the dress I was going to wear. It was about 5:45 when I was ready and went to the closet for my dress and of course changed my mind and went with my black and gold dress instead. Got my nails on and was out the door. I got to the Escape just after 6 and parked right in front and went in.

They were not as busy as last week and I was able to get my usual table in hopes others would show up, I posted in our group I would be here between 6 & 7. I went to the bar and ordered dinner and my drink, Sprite as I don’t drink. It is funny as when I first started going out, I think I was the only girl that didn’t drink, now I would say it is 30% to 40% and some of those who do drink have one or two and then switch to pop. There was a young lady at the bar that came over and talked to me, her name was Nicole and she thought I looked beautiful, now she had been drinking but I still took it as a compliment. I really do love being complimented on how I look as Susan, in my male life never really give this much thought. I stood there and talked with her for 5 to 10 minutes before going to my table. I no more than got my computer out and my dinner came so I ate it while responding to an E-mail. A few weeks back I went through some of my friends I have not heard from in a while and sent them an e-mail. I got a reply from Kendra who I have not seen in probably 6 years. She is still doing well and took a break from being Kendra but it is coming back again. I have learned this from myself. I could probably stop dressing if it was a life or death issue but Susan would always be with me, a part of me and I would think about her and dressing all the time. I am hoping one of the times she gets to Portland she will have some Kendra tine and we can get together. It is so easy to lose touch with people especially when you only know one side, or part of them.

Well as I finished my e-mail Nicole showed up, she came down from the Seattle area to go out with us. She gets down here 4 to 6 times a year and I always look forward to seeing her. I remember the first time I met her at Washington Square mall. It was February of 2014, yes, I cheated and looked it up in my blog. Wow I have known her for almost 5 years and she goes out almost twice a week now. I really have made some wonderful friends. She ordered dinner also. Bobbie also showed up so there were 3 of us. We ate and talked and it was so much fun. She was telling me how she brought several dresses down for tonight as she was not sure what she would feel like wearing and of course I told her how I changed my mind on what I was going to wear tonight and also my first Diva Las Vegas in which I too almost everything. I had enough dresses on that trip to wear 2 every day plus and several skirts and capri and enough tops to also have 2 a day just to be safe. It is so much fun being a girl. Nicole also has a blog that is private and that is okay, I would encourage everyone to have some kind of record of your life for later on, she writes what she ore and where she went and puts pictures of her outfits. I look Back on my blog all the time, how I found when I met Nicole. Now I did take a selfie when I first got here should have gotten a picture with Nicole.

Now the girl I met at the bar when I first got here came over again so I got to introduce Nicole to Nicole, how cute. We talked for a few minutes and another girl name Melinda came over. I have never met either of them before but they wanted up to dance with them, yes, they have both been drinking. Well I explained I was not a dancer but this didn’t seem to register with them as they took hold of my hand and pretty much pulled me to the floor, well I wasn’t fighting to hard. so now Nicole and Melinda, and Bobbie, Nicole and I were out dancing the best I could. Now I know my body does not bend the way theirs does but I tried as I could, of course I had my corset on which also limited my movement. We probably only dance 5 or 10 minutes before we went back to our table and I was a little out of breath, yes, the corset does limit your breathing. Melinda talked with us a little more before she went back and joined her friend.

Robyn also showed up as did another girl from our group. There was also another transgendered woman here with I assume her wife but they sat together at a small table. I did wave at them but wasn’t sure if I should go over as they seemed to be on their own and I didn’t want to interrupt them. 9 pm came and Karaoke started so it got a little loud and hard to talk but it was still fun. Nicole stayed later tonight as she made it till a little after 10pm, she usually leaves at 9 when Karaoke starts. She might make it down in December but if not, she will be down in January. It was sad to see her leave but it was a great night, I did tell her the Starbucks I am going to now a she did pop in on me once at the Starbucks by my house as her male self of course. Would be so fun if she could meet me at Starbucks as Nicole.

Laurie also showed up just before 10 so we actually had 5 of us tonight, a smaller group but a lot of fun. I stayed till a little after 11 before paying my bill and heading home. It was a fun night out a I got to see my friends. It is hard when you don’t see your friends as they are a big part of one’s life. Cassandra has not been out much and with the holidays, she is really busy so I am guessing it will be after the first of the year before we can get together again and Julie is out of town for a few months although she may come back for a few days from time to time and I am hoping we can get together. I did talk with Cassandra on the phone the other night for almost an hour as we are planning on Diva Las Vegas next March as we both want to go that is if I can get the time off. The week they picked is not good for me at work but I am hoping to work it out. We are talking about going earlier and then leaving the Friday it ends so we only have 1 weekend in Las Vegas s it has gotten expensive. 5 years ago, we went for 9-night, 2 weekend and stayed on the strip and we paid lees than $400. Looking quickly online for the next Diva Las Vegas we are looking at $650 to $900 for 9 night and 1 weekend if we stay downtown and $1400 to $1900 if we stay on the Strip. I actually like the downtown more as the hotel casinos are no as big and massive so easier to get around and go between casinos plus you can find $5 blackjack. On the strip it is $10 on a weekday, $15 in the evenings and who knows about weekend. I like to play for fun so much rather have a cheep table. It was a wonderful night out though.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in Susan’s life.

November 25, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday night dinner at McMenamins

Well it has been a busy couple weeks and part of it I was sick and couldn’t get out, actually didn’t feel like going out so it has been almost 2 weeks and I am really looking forward to dinner out with my friends. I am actually planning on getting there early just to have a little more Susan time. I got home from work and started getting ready right away, I wanted to get there with my computer by 5:30. It was just before 5 when I was ready to leave and took time to double check that it was McMenamines and then I packed up my computer and I was on my way. I got downtown Portland and had to drive around a little looking for a parking spot but finally found 1 right across the street and parked.

I went in and they were really busy, the busiest I have ever seen them by a long way so I got a table in the corner room and set up my computer. I then went and ordered a drink and some Scooby snacks (mini corndogs) so good. It was so wonderful to be out again, can’t tell you how much I miss it when I can’t go out. I spent the next hour on my computer catching up on e-mails and the things I didn’t do when I was sick. It was about 5:50 and I texted Melissa to let her know how busy they were. She texted back was looking for parking so I waited. It was 7 when she texted me she was here with Nicole and was wondering where was. Now this made me wonder so I quickly checked our web page and sure enough I was in the wrong place. We go to several McMenamins and I thought it was ringlers pub at the Crystal Ballroom when in fact it was the Tavern and pool hall. I had looked and just saw McMenamines and Crystal Ballroom and miss where it said not the one at Crystal Ballroom. Luckily, they are not far apart so I texted back I was on my way and quickly paid my bill and left. I got to the correct one about 7 :25 when I got there so it was fine but I felt a little silly.

Now Melissa, Nicole, Barb, and Kris were already there so I joined them and we talked for a little while before we ordered. It really was so nice to be out again with my friends. We talked a little about our web page, our cruise coming up in October and of course Diva Las Vegas, Esprit, and just where we would like to go out for dinner and if we should try to mix up the nights to see if we can get more girls out. We all ordered dinner. The food here is good although it is bar food but still a fun night out. We were just finishing up dinner and Stacy showed up so we actually had 6 tonight in all. After we paid our bills we sat and talked for a little longer. It was after 9:30 when we called it a night. It really was fun and so great to get out again.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my latest blog to see what is going on in my life.

June 30, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday night at the Escape, Saint Patrick’s Day

It is Saturday and our group is once again going to Salem to join the girls down there. I have been there a few times and it is a nice place just such a far drive as it takes me over an hour to get there. Now I was planning on going as I wanted to see some of the girls down there again but as always things come up. I had things to do earlier in the day and they took longer to get done then I planned. It was almost 5 before I started getting ready so it would be a rush. Now I have been getting to the Escape between 5:30 and 6 so going to Salem I would still be there by 7 but not tonight. It was after 6 when I was ready to leave and I was still thinking of going but as I pulled out of the garage I saw my fuel light on as I forgot to fill up so I stopped at Costco to get gas and of course had to wait in line. I filled up and of course I noticed everyone getting gas had on green, that’s right it is Saint Patrick’s Day. Anyway, by now it was almost 6:30 and it would still be an hour to get to Salem and then there was the drive home after people celebrated. I decided to go to the Escape instead and see who showed up there. I got there at 6:45 and went in after a quick selfie in the car.

Now they were not busy so I got our normal table hoping we would have a big group. I then went to the bar to order food, Lindsey was working tonight, she only works when they need extra help so it was great to see her again, really all the girls working here are wonderful. I got back to my table and no more then got my computer out and Kate showed up so I put it away. It was great to see her as I was wondering if I would be the only one tonight. Well we got talking and of course the most important topic came up, nails. Kate actually likes my nails how I have been doing them the last several months, so I explained how I have them done and really it is no different than any other woman other then the acrylic is a lot thinner layer. Kate has had a pedicure before but never had acrylic nails and as I have said I think everyone should try it at least once. I explained about the process and soon I had my computer back out showing her a few videos. I love watching online as I have learned a lot this way. One I really like for learning makeup techniques is Julia Graf, she does an amazing job breaking down different looks. The other if you want to learn about acrylic nails is by Suzie and she shows you the different styles, looks and how to do. You really can learn most anything watching videos on YouTube.

Any way we talked about so many things tonight and of course why we do this and again there really is no easy simple reason other then we enjoy it. The same as anyone else who likes to dress up sometimes we just do it as the opposite gender. By about 7:30 it started to get busy and I mean busy, it was a packed house tonight. Seems everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick’s Day and wants to celebrate. There were a lot of new faces here tonight also. Now of course I had to get a picture with Kate tonight. It still amazes me how often and how many pictures I have of Susan, I can’t remember the last time I took a picture of my male self. I probably have a couple thousand Susan pictures on my computer and maybe 10 of my male self.

Any way I really started my blog all those years ago just as a way for me to document and remember my adventures as Susan, the early ones are pretty simple, pretty much where I went and that was it. Here are a couple early blogs from 2006, including a quick stop at Hooters. I never really thought anyone would find much less want to read about my time as Susan. As I saw people were not only reading it but following it I started to write more and in more detail. It really has been a fun thing to do over the years. Again, I would recommend everyone write down at least the important things in your life so you can remember them and maybe share them. A blog is a great way as you can set it public or private or even have it public but keep some private, opps a little off topic again.

By 8:30 it was packed and standing room only and as it was only Kate and I when a few people asked if they could have the other end of our table we said yes, no sense us taking up a table for 8 when it was just the two of us. Karaoke started about 9:30 and that is when it usually gets loud but with so many people here tonight just talking around you it was loud already. It is amazing how fast the night was going just sitting there talking, this really is the feminine side of me as in my male side I am not really a talker, I don’t sit around and just talk but Susan loves to sit and talk.

Lorie showed up a little before 10, she is our late-night girl. She doesn’t get out till 9:30 or 10 and I assume usually closes the bar. I remember those days for me, I wouldn’t leave the house till it was dark so my neighbors wouldn’t see me, even in the winter when it got dark early I still didn’t go out much before 7 for fear one of my neighbors might look out the window and of course we would stay till the place we went closed. Now I don’t even look outside any more or care what time it is. I know one of my neighbors knows about Susan, she found out back in 2012 and she has had no problem with it, as a matter of fact I ran into her at Starbucks the other day, first time she has seen me up close and talked with me. I don’t know if she has told anyone, I hope not as I really do want to keep this side of me private but I am also not afraid of it anymore and I kind of think most of my neighbors know. As much as I go out and I have seen many of my neighbors outside as I pull out of the garage or drive down the street they at the very least have to wonder. It does make it a lot easier when you lose that fear but as I said I still don’t want people telling others about me but I am not going to stop being me.

Kate, Lorie and I talked some more but it was getting late and I do have to be up early so it was about 10:30 When I went up to pay my bill which was no easy thing to do as there was a huge line, it took me about 15 minutes standing in line. It really was a fun night and a lot of new faces here tonight. It was a small group but so much fun to socialize. It is not about where we go or what we do but the friends you are with. It is funny as I have been going to Bars with friends at least once a week for 10 years now and yet I don’t drink. Now early on I would occasionally order a glass of wine and slowly sip on it all night as I felt I had to but I quickly figured out I needed to be me, be Susan and that means I didn’t need to drink either. I really have met some wonderful people over the years and am lucky to have them as friends.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

March 19, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape, yes, I get to go tonight.

It is Saturday and I had 2 things going on today so I wasn’t planning on being able to go out tonight. Well luck was with me and 1 got canceled and the other one got over early so I found myself at home a little after 3 with the rest of the day open. You guessed it I will be going out tonight, I started getting ready for a fun night out. Now I didn’t know for sure who all would be there other than Cassandra who posted in the group and Nicole who texted mew, she drove down from Seattle today just to go out with us. I was ready by about 5:20 and on my way getting to the Escape a little before 6. They were a little busy for as early as it was and also the two big tables were reserved for a party at 9. Now I debated about sitting there till 9 but decided to take the 3 small tables that were pulled together. They are taller with bar stools with no backs so not as comfortable but I was worried that come 9 we might not find a table to move to and it was the right decision.

I got my computer out and ordered dinner, I didn’t have much time on my computer as Cassandra showed up just a few minutes later followed by Nicole and Kimberly. Yes, we had 4 of us out by shortly after 6. We started talking and of course the first thing was Diva Las Vegas. We have made our plans now and Cassandra, Peggy and I will leave Friday morning and drive to Palm Springs to meet up with Julie and Trixie. Saturday Cassandra, Julie and I will drive to Las Vegas for Diva Las Vegas leaving Peggy to spend the week with Trixie. After Diva Las Vegas on Saturday we the 3 of us will drive back to Palm Springs drop off Julie and pick up Peggy and Sunday drive home, Road trip for Susan. This will save us a Friday and Saturday night in Las Vegas which are the most expensive, so instead of 9 nights it will only be 7 nights and should save us some money plus we get to spend more time with both Peggy’s and Julie.

We also talked about our Mexican Cruise in October which really is not that far off. We are all looking forward to it. I have never been on a cruise before so it will not only be a first for Susan but a first for me all the way around plus as we are planning on flying as our female selves that will also be a first. I am sitting right across the aisle from Julie and Cassandra so that will be fun. I am pretty sure that Kate, Mellissa and her wife are also on the same flight. It will be so much fun.

About 7:30 it started to get busy and I was glad I got the tables I did. Kate showed up as did Laura M, Jan & Lynn and one other girl from our group so we had 9 of us here tonight. Now they actually had to big parties here tonight so by 9 it was packed and everyone was having a great time. It is nice as we have got to know some of the regulars here so I was talking with a few of them also. It really was an enjoyable evening. Kimberly was the first to leave followed by Nicole as she had a 3-hour drive home.

Karaoke started and they had a different KJ tonight and she was really good also. Seems all the KJ’s for Karaoke can sing really well. It was a really fun night and I stayed out till 10:30 before calling it a night. Now I am actually on vacation this week but I have a lot of things I need to do so my Susan time will be a little limited. But on the top of my list is to try and get my Passport application turned in. I have been meaning to do that since December.

Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up with what I am doing as Susan in my most recent blog.


March 4, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday at the Escape, getting there early

It is Saturday and I am going out for the evening to the Escape, not sure who else will be there but that is okay. My plan was to get there early and do some studying before others showed up. The next couple weeks my Susan time will be limited mostly sur of the moment outings which can also be fun. It is nice though to know when you will be going out though as it gives you time to plan and think about it and plan.

Well I started getting ready about 3:30 with the plan of being ready by 5. I was right on schedule. Now if you have been following my blogs you know I bought a corset several weeks ago from Orchard Corset and I have been wearing most times I go out as I have found it really does nice me a nice shape. Well I tried putting it on a little lower as my shape is not quiet the same as the typical female and this actually works better as it gives me better hips. Also wearing it so much has made it fit better and easier to lace up as it has somewhat formed to my body. It is the last thing I put on before my dress and hair. So tonight, I got it all on and had a nice shape. Now it was time for my dress. I had several on the bed and tried a couple but my blue and black one which was the second one I tried was the one I was going for tonight. Well I put the other 4 back in the closet and had the one I was going to wear but I decided to see if I could tighten the corset a little more as I have had it on for about 10 minutes now and yes to my amazement I could. So, I guess the trick is put the corset on and move around a little and then tighten again. Looking in the mirror I would say my waist was 4 or 5 inches smaller than my hips, I had an hourglass shape that looked great. The dress was on and the hair and I looked great. Corsets really do give you a nice shape.

It was just after 5 and I got my stuff and went down to the garage to get in the car, I have a smaller car. Wow getting in was hard and I couldn’t breathe. By the time I was in the car I had to sit a moment and catch my breath. Sitting in a low car seat with a corset, especially if it is tight is not real comfortable and a little hard to breathe. It is only a short drive but I was gals when I got to the Escape, it was just as hard getting out of the car. I went in and was glad I would be sitting on a hard chair that doesn’t sink down. I put my stuff on a table and noticed Lee over at the bar. She is one of our newer members, only her 3rd time out. I went over and said hi to her and she came over and joined me at the table.

She was here with her Sister, yes, she has come out to her sister and she is supportive of her which is great. Now it is funny as each time she has come out she has come out with someone different, tonight being her sister, they were actually meeting 2 other women tonight and then going someplace else. Wow she has come a long way fast I still have not come out to anyone from my male side although at least 1 of my neighbors know and I am guess more do. The five of us sat and talked for about an hour till it was time for them to leave at 6:30 as they had 7 pm reservations. I told them how great it was they were supportive of Lee especially her Sister. They were all really nice. On the way out, Lee’s Sister thanked me for looking after Lee which was nice and of course made me feel good.

Now I was by my self at least as far as our group but there were some people around me at tables. I got my book out and started reading. I discovered long ago I am not a reader, some people love to read books I have always believed if a book was good enough to read it would be a movie. Anyway, reading a boring text book is not easy. This I going to be a long couple of weeks and I am not sure I will get through the whole book. I read about an hour till Kate showed up. I was glad when she got there as it gave me a reason to put my book away which probably is not the right attitude.

Kate and I talked for a while mostly about why we like to dress and we still really can’t explain it. Kates girlfriend knows she dresses but Kate just told her that she goes out as Kate and she is taking it well, but that is how we got on the topic of why we dress. I really don’t have a defining reason why, I guess it is like asking someone why they like ice cream or chocolate. The reason is they like the taste, it not like you can give a long list of reasons you just like it. I just like dressing up and being Susan. I can spend an hour getting ready to go sit at Starbucks for a few hours and do work, my blog, e-mails or just goof off on the computer. Something I could do just as easy at home or even as my male self at Starbucks so it really doesn’t make sense. When I am at Starbucks I do kind of people watch but not as much as I use to and I am not really thinking about how I am dressed or how I look, hopefully cute. There really is no reason I can come up with other then I am just being me, just being who I am. I think so many of us want to be able to point to one thing, one point in time, one event that happened to us and say this is why but I have never found that. This is just who I am and I have accepted that and I think that makes all the difference. If you can accept yourself for who you are that is all that matters.

Kate and I were beginning to think we would be the only ones tonight but then Laura M and her girlfriend showed up and shortly after Teri Lee showed up. She is one of our newer members and came down from the Seattle area. I have exchanged messages with her so it was wonderful to meet her in person. She was meeting another girl she became friends with through our group named Andi who also came out tonight. I met Andi at Diva Las Vegas last year and she joined our group. It was good to see her again and get to know more about her. She actually met Teri Lee a couple weeks ago for Teri Lee’s first time out, tonight is her second and she was doing really well. Our group the Rose City T-girls is really a wonderful social group, but what makes it so special is the help it gives to helping new t-girls come out in the world. It really is a wonderful feeling, like earlier tonight when Lee’s sister thanked me for helping Lee it made me feel good but I have to admit I really love the feeling of helping someone new come out and become themselves. I remember my first time out and the next few times and the girls who helped me. Lori the girl who tapped on my car window and asked if I was going in just as I was about to leave for the 4th time without getting out of my car. Alice who I met after going out just a couple times and mad me feel so welcome and helped me get over my sheer terror. Cassandra who formed this group that I have been part of now for years. They all has such big impacts on my life and if I can do that for just one girl then I am the lucky one.

Another girl also showed up so we had 6 of us here tonight and we all had a great time talking and yes it was a busy night as there was standing room only. It is always fun when there are so many people here but it also makes it loud and hard to talk especially when Karaoke started but it was a fun night. Even talked with a few of the regulars here not from our group which is always fun. It was a really good night out, of course I stayed out later then I planned.

It was about 11:30 when I called it a night. I had been here about 6 hours but didn’t seem like it. I paid my bill and said my goodbyes. I went and got in my car and wow as hard ass it was earlier getting into my car it was worse now. Don’t get me wrong, I love my new corset and I am thinking of getting another but the drive home was hard, sitting in the low seat sunken in I was really uncomfortable. All I could think about was getting home and taking off the corset. May have been a little on the tight side but hopefully I will get use to it as I love the look it gives me, bit only short drives when it is tight.

Little long tonight but thanks for reading and be sure and see what’s new with Susan on my most recent blog.

February 25, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday and going to the Escape tonight.

It has been a fun vacation, got some things done around home and lots of Susan time. I got up this morning and had things I had to do. The first thing I noticed were my nails, don’t get me wrong they still look great, slight pink color and kind of long but the red was gone. That was so hard to remove the red as I so wish I could have red or some other bright color all the time. Now the funny thing is for the week I had them I really didn’t think about them I just had pretty red nails but now that the color is gone I really notice it and miss it. Well now the next time will be Diva Las Vegas which is April 15th to 20th this year. I am looking forward to it. Well I got everything done and started getting ready a little after 3 as I wanted to get out early.

Now today getting ready was a challenge. I wanted to try my lipstick which really is a bright pink, I have only worn it once, here is a picture from that night as I thought it looked good. It goes well with this hair color. Any way I got my makeup all done and was looking pretty good and it was time to get dressed. Now I was going to wear a red dress again as it sets off the lipstick but I saw my new coat I bought and really wanted to wear it and as it is kind of a maroon / wine color I got out a dark maroon dress and put it on, didn’t really go well with the lipstick but this is not a lipstick you can easily change I decided to go with it. I went to get my hair and realized I had washed them earlier and they were not dry. Which left me 2 choices my dark brown or black hair. I went with the dark brown and looked in the mirror, was not thrilled with the look and I seriously thought about starting all over but I had texted Cassandra and said I would be there around 5:30 and it was already 5. It would take at least an hour to remove and redo all my makeup so I went as I was.

I got to Escape right at 5:30 and was going to get a selfie in the car before going in, wow in the natural day light the lipstick looked really harsh with the hair color and dress. I went in and luckily inside where the light is dimmer it didn’t looks as bad. I did take a couple selfies but wow not going to post them. It is funny as I always have people comment and tell me how I never take a bad picture. I will let you in on a little secret, I only post the good ones and tonight there were none. Pink lipstick is a little harder to pull off I think.

I ordered dinner and got my computer out and Cassandra showed up about 10 minutes later so we had a chance to talk. We are looking forward to Diva Las Vegas and still planning on leaving early Friday April 13 but instead of driving straight to Las Vegas we are thinking of going to Palm Springs. Peggy will go with us to Palm Springs and she will spend the week with Trixie and we will pick Julie up and go to Las Vegas on Saturday, same going home we will leave on Saturday go back to Palm Springs and drop Julie off and pick up Peggy and come home. This will save us a Friday and Saturday night ibn Las Vegas which are the most expensive nights plus it would be a blast to have Peggy along going down and back and Julie going to and from. Just need to see if Peggy can get the time off work.

Kearren also showed up early and it was good to see her. We actually had a big group tonight, Jan, Lynn, Jacky, Kate, Lorie, Narciss, Kimberly, Laura M. and a couple of her friends, even Lee showed up with one of her friends. It was great to see Lee out again as this is only her second time in public. It is funny as she came out with a different female friend so at least two of her friends knows about Lee. Something I have not done as I have not told any of my male side friends about Susan. I feel like I am missing someone and if I am I apologize, we had girls at our big table, the bar, and 2 small tables and with some playing pool, and singing Karaoke it really was hard to keep track of everyone.

It was a good night and I did make sure I at least said hi and talked briefly with everyone but with big groups it is hard. Now we have talked many times ab out going to barfs like the Escape and the pro’s and Con’s. It is a really friendly place just like Sweet Home and we are accepted there and all the girls feel comfortable. The bad part is it can get loud especially when the Karaoke starts and it is hard to talk. Some of the girls have a hard time hearing over the music me included. Guess I am not as young as I use to be. I think this is why we like the Wednesday night dinners so much but to go sit in a restaurant for 5 to 7 hours would be hard as they would want the table for the next groups. I guess there is no perfect answer but we need to take all our members need when we pick what we are going to do as we really do have a diverse group.

I got to talk with Jackie for a while as she is here from up North. I think I have met her once several years ago, it was nice to get to know her better. I really do enjoy talking with people and getting to know them, not something I do in my male side as I tend to keep more to myself when I am not Susan. As Susan I am way more outgoing, not like Cassandra but I am working on it. We all talked about Diva Las Vegas as I think we have 10 or 12 going from our group and also the Mexican Cruise which we have 29 signed up for now, of course I am sure some will back out between now and then as it really is hard to schedule something so far out. I made my reservations last August for this coming October, over 14 months ahead of time. By the way there is still time to sign up and go if you want just go to our group the rose city t-girls and we have a page for it. If you are even thinking about a cruise be sure and check it out.

I stayed out later then I planned as it was almost 11:30 when I called it a night but it was a lot of fun and I really do enjoy going out with my friends. It is not so much about where we go but being out with friends. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and keep up with me on my most recent blog.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February 11, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Gender | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday, two days before Christmas

It is the Saturday before Christmas, actually two days before Christmas. This year has goo=ne by so fast. Now I am going to the Escape tonight although I am not sure how many from our group will be out as I know some are out of town for the holidays. Kate posted in our group to see if anyone else was going out so I posted back I would be there so I figure at least she will be there. I started getting ready about 4:30 a little later then I wanted as I was hoping to get there early. I was all ready and on my way by 5:40 so I got there right at 6 and was able to park right in front, one of the reasons for getting there early.

I went in and they were not that busy so I got our usual table which seats 10, I always feel a little bad taking such a big table when I am not sure how many if any will show up. One of the ladies at the bar who I have talked to many times was there and said hi and how nice I looked which I always love, it is my feminine side but I love hearing how nice or pretty I look. N ow I feel bad as I can not remember her name and I didn’t want to ask her what it was again. Any way I talked with her and two of her friends for about 10 minutes and of course one of the topics here heels. I finally sat down and broke out my computer and of course ordered dinner as I was hungry.

Now there were other people in the bar but it was not real busy which I kind of figured being a couple days before Christmas. I figured I would get a quick selfie. I had a nice dinner and caught up on some work as I waited to see if anyone else would show up. One of our new members in the group Lee said she was going to stop by in boy mode as she still has not gone out of her house as a female yet so now I was thinking there would be at least two others tonight.

It was now after 7:30 and I was beginning to wonder if I would be it when Kate arrived. Now I don’t mind going out by myself as I do it all the time when I go to Starbuck’s but it is always more fun when you have someone else with you. It was good to see her out. We talked for a few minutes when this guy walked over and introduced himself as Lee and joined us. It was nice to meet lee and she yes, I am calling her she as hopefully when she comes out with the group in the future it will be as her female self but if not, that is okay and she is still welcome. Now I give her a lot of credit to come out as her male self. It took me years before I would let anyone know who I was on my male side or see me. Any way the three of us talked and got to know each other better. Lee seams really nice but has the same fears and concerns we all have had at one time or another. I told her it does get easier with time and going out but the first few times are hard. I remember my first times I was so scared and really didn’t want to talk with anyone but I have a wonderful friend named Alice who really helped me. I remember one of the first times we were out, two girls came over and started talking to me and I thought that was so wonderful and it really helped me feel more comfortable, found out later Alice had run into them at the bar and was talking to them and told them how nervous I was and asked them to come over and say hi to me. It was a simple thing but it really did make a big difference for me and helped me feel more at ease. It is funny the things you remember from your past that to others may not seem like that big of a thing, a kind word, compliment or just being there with the person but it can have a huge impact on them.

Well I learned a lot about Lee, she has actually come out to her younger sister and a friend and both took it well which is great. Now there are some who know me both ways but they met me as Susan well plus my neighbor who know but that was because she saw me and found out but I have never just come out to someone about Susan. That is a hard thing to do as once you tell one person you really have no control over it and you can never truly know who knows. I don’t know if my neighbors told anyone else and to this day none of my neighbors have ever said a thing about it but it is possible every one of my neighbors know. I mean it is not something most people would walk up to you and say “guess what I heard about you?” the good thing is none of my neighbors treat me any different.

It really was nice to just sit and talk, well a little later another man came over and said he was listening to our conversation and he even apologized for listening in which you really have to figure others around you can hear what you are talking about. Anyway, he introduced himself and then showed me a picture. He went to Over the Rainbow Wednesday and got a makeover. I will also use her female name which is Evonne. Any way I asked her to join us and the 4 of us kept talking, Evonne also has never been out and it turns out Lee and Evonne work in the same field, kind of a small world. I told Evonne about our group the Rose City T-girls and invited her to join. It was nice to get to know them both and I hope they both come out with our group again. Now it wasn’t real busy tonight but soon Karaoke started which I was looking forward to as I wanted to hear some Christmas songs, yes, I love Christmas Music and have been listening to it since before Thanksgiving. Any way there was no Christmas music tonight it was just like every other Saturday night which there was nothing wrong with but I was hoping for Christmas music.

One more of our girls showed up so we had 4 from our group tonight which was smaller than normal but better then I thought there would be. Everyone was in a good mood and several girls came over and talked with us which is nice. Evonne was the first to leave and then Lee, I really hope they had a good time and felt welcome in our group. Kate played some pool and I sat and listened to the singing, it was just good to be out again. It was almost 11 when I decided to call it a night, I got up to leave when the Karaoke called a lady up and announced it would be the first Christmas song of the night. Well I have been waiting for this all night so I sat back down. The Lady sang Oh come all ye Faithfull and did a really good job, now I will admit this was not the Christmas music I expected in a bar but I sang along, I really love Christmas music but I do think my favorite is the Christmas Carols as after all this is what Christmas is all about. After she was done most of the people clap. Well it was now 11 and I needed to go so I said goodbye to my friends and headed for the door. On my way I stopped at the bar where the lady who just sang was sitting and told her how well she did and how much I enjoyed the song as I love Christmas Music. Well much to my surprise she stood up and thanked me and gave me a huge hug. We talked for a few minutes and she told me she hadn’t seen her dad in years and it was one of his favorite Christmas songs and how she used to go to Church with him all the time. I talked with her a few more minutes and she gave me another hug and thanked me. As I said before you never know what impact you can have on someone. And this time of year, can be hard as a lot of people don’t have family they can spend it with especially in the LGBT community. I was on my way home and I wished I had stayed just a little longer and talked with her some more.

It was a good night and a wonderful way to start the Christmas weekend off. To all my friend a very Merry Christmas and please know you are in my heart and thoughts.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what I am up to.


December 24, 2017 Posted by | Christmas, Dinner out, Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday evening out with the girls

Saturday evening an I am going out to meet my friends at the Escape, plus tonight Nicole was in town and was going to meet us at the Escape. Now  I took my time getting ready tonight as I really wanted to enjoy the experience plus I wanted to get there early. I got to the Escape just before 6 and got out my computer to pass the time till others showed up. One of the guys at the bar told me you come here to get away from work and I assured him it was not work. We talked for a bit and he asked if I was checking out politics as that was just as bad and I again assured him I was not. So here I go getting on my soap box again. I try my best to avoid 2 things on my blog, Facebook and other social media and that is Politics and religion. Now these two topics have very strong feelings in people and I have seen friends on both sides go to extreme. So to all my friends out there, we are all different in views and beliefs and I accept all of you. This is why I keep this out of my blog and Facebook page as I do not want to put someone down because they think believe or have different views than I do. Okay we no return to our normally scheduled blog.

It wasn’t long and Nicole showed up. It was good to see her again as this is the first time this year she has made it down here because of the weather. We ordered dinner and then sat and talked and caught up on things. Cassandra also showed up and shortly after Melissa and her wife. Now we all sat and talked for a while and of course part of the conversation was about Diva Las Vegas. Elaine also showed up, she has been coming out pretty regular on Saturday nights for a while now. Kate also showed up and she was interested in Diva Las Vegas. She doesn’t think she can go for the whole thing but she is thinking of going for a few days. I think she would really have fun and enjoy herself.

Now I did play one game of pool against Cassandra and lost but it was fun. Cassandra played several games and won all of them, Bambi and Kris also showed up, They are getting out to almost every event now. They played a couple games of pool also. Shadow also showed up with 2 girls, Michele who I met at Cristines celebration of life and a new girl Sabrina. This was Sabrina’s first time going out. She has dressed at home but Came to Portland to get a transformation at Over the Rainbow and go out. It is always a fun night when we have a girl that is out for her first time. Always makes me think back to my first time and how scared and excited I was. I got a chance to talk with her a little and she was having a good time and didn’t seem that scared.

Karaoke started and of course it gets hard to talk then as it gets loud. Nicole called it a night. It was starting to get busy now as more were showing up for Karaoke so there was a good crowd here tonight and we had 12 from our group. It was a little after 11 when I left. It was a fun night out.

Thanks for reading

February 26, 2017 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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