Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Some Sunday Susan time at Starbucks to study.

It is Sunday and I have been going to Starbucks the last several weeks for some Susan time which I enjoy and look forward to but I also have stuff to do. I am taking another class and have some studding to do, actually about 40 hours online to get ready for the class. Luckily as it is online it will be Susan who does that part so I can combine the two sides of my life again at Starbucks. I got all ready and was on my way. I got to Starbucks a little earlier about 3:45. I went in and set up my computer and then went and ordered my Hot Chocolate.

Now the young man at the counter who took my order has waited on me before and today he told me how nice my hair looked, now I have gotten compliments on my makeup, nails, outfits and general looks but this is the first time on my hair. It did make me feel wonderful. I got my drink and sat down and the first thing was to write my blog from Saturday night at the Escape which was a lot of fun. I spent about 4 minutes to an hour working on this before I started my course.

Now there were others here on computers and I often wonder what they are doing. I am sure some are working and some doing school work and some just playing around online. It was a little before 5 when I logged onto my course and started, it is a combination of video lectures and power points presentations. Of course, this means wearing earbuds as I didn’t want to have the volume on inside Starbucks. I just had to get a quick selfie studding with my earbuds in. Now I am not big on Studding and I can get sidetracked really easy which is one reason I didn’t want to do this at home where it would be easy to get distracted. Here at Starbucks it is easier to focus.

I studied till about 6:30 and then went up and got another hot chocolate. The same young man was at the counter to take my order and asked me what I was doing. I told him some studding for a class which was true. He then told me he was taking classes at college and asked what I was taking. I just told him an online business class which was only partially true, it is a mostly an online class but not business but telling him what the class was I felt would give to much personal information. We talked for a little bit before I went back to my studding. It took me till about 8:15 to finish what I needed to do tonight, for a while I didn’t think I would get through it by 8:30 when they close. I packed up my stuff and called it a night. Now as I was leaving one of the girls behind the counter called out and wished me a good night by name. I guess they are getting to know me here also like the Starbucks by my house.

I did make a quick stop at Burger Kings Drive through as I was a little hungry and went home and ate before getting ready for bed. It was a good night out and I am looking forward to it again.

Thanks for reading and be sure and keep up with what’s new in my life on my most recent blog.

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December 11, 2018 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Cold December night at the Escape

It is Saturday and I am looking forward to going to the Escape, well as being out as Susan. Now I am not sure who will show up but that doesn’t matter as I will go and have dinner and catch up o some work on my computer. I posted in our group and also our new e-mail group. Melissa has been working on this for a while and we went live the first of December. It is a group.io which means noting to me other then we can send an e-mail and it goes to all the members and they can respond without logging onto our web page.

I was ready to leave a little before 5, yes, I am going to get there early as it is more Susan time and gives me a chance to get some work done before others show up. I got to the Escape a little after 5 and went in and got our usual table in case others show up. I ordered dinner and got out my computer. Now there were 2 men at the table next to me as I worked and finally one of then told me he loved my eyes and the way I did my makeup, kind of a cat eye look. Now I didn’t really have a cat eye look as my liner just went across the lid but I did have some darker eye shadow on the outer edge and it was a crisp line so I can understand his thought. I thanked him as I do like getting compliments even though I am not interested in men. Of course, I had to get a selfie now. I was almost done with my dinner and Kitty showed up, she was in the area and stopped in for about a half hour. She had seen my post on our e-mail group so I guess it is working. We sat and talked for a while it was nice to get to talk with her 1 on 1 as o got to know her better. I have known her for several years but it has always been a group when she has been out. It is a funny story I have to tell now, as Kitty and I were talking 2 men walked up and introduced themselves to us, they seemed nice and then the one asked if it hurt, now he was looking more at Kitty and I wasn’t sure what he was talking about and Kitty just asked if he was talking about her breasts as that was kind of where he was looking. He smiled back and said and I quote “no when you fell from Heaven” I kid you not. Now I have heard this line in movies but never really thought anyone used it, I had to control myself and not laugh, kitty took it as a compliment which it was and thanked him. They talked to us a few minutes before they left.

She left a little after 6 and I was back on my computer for a little while before another girl from our group arrived. She also saw it on our e-mail group although she does come here quite regular, but she also likes our e-mail group. We talked about it for a little while, Joanie also showed up with a friend. She also saw it on our group e-mail. It is funny as Joanie and Kitty were both at Wednesday night dinner also. I think this group.io is going to work really well. The only bad thing is the first few days when we added 200+ members our e-mails got flooded as a few girls posted hi or thanks for setting this up and then of course people responded and with that many people trying it well you can imagine the number of e-mails. A few girls unsubscribed from the group because of the number of e-mails but I figured it would die down after a week or two and it has. Now it is just the normal messages and is running 5 to 15 a day. If you ever get on one of these give it a couple weeks before leaving the number will go down.

I got to talk with Joanie a little more, I think this is only the 3rd or 4th tine I have met her so it is nice to get to know her better and also her friend who seemed really nice. Laura H and Max showed up as did Laura M and her girlfriend, they did sit in the other room as they got there after karaoke started and they wanted to talk. It was about 9:30 when Robyn showed up which is late for her but Diane was also going to be here tonight and se never makes it till 10:30 or 11 so she new she would be out later. It was good to see her again and to think I was worried I might be the only one here tonight.

About 10 Laurie showed up as she is usually our last girl to show up but not tonight as Diane still had not arrived. Laurie was happy with the e-mail group as I set her up on our group the Rosecityt-girls a year or more ago but her computer is so old she has not been able to get on it. She loves the fact she gets the e-mails now and knows what is going on. If you are reading this Melissa the e-mail group is a hit, thanks so much for getting this set up.

Diane showed up about 10:30 and it was great to see her again. The last time I saw her was at Sweethome, I haven’t been there in a year or more. I think I will have to go there one Friday night just to see it again as it was a fun and friendly place to go. Now I did talk a little with every one which was hard as it got really busy and we were kind of spread out. Eventually most of us wound up over by the pool table at the smaller tables. It really was a busy night here tonight and a lot of new faces.

Robyn was playing pool with a lady and I was kind of looking at her and trying to decide if she was trans. As I have said many ties it really is hard for someone to transition and pass completely unless you do it at an early age other wise there are always little things that people may pick up on. Now her arms were little more defined and her hands a little bigger and narrower hip but even still I was not sure and as such was not about to ask. She really was passable I she is trans and I am thinking if I just saw her out someplace, I probably wouldn’t have noticed these things and never gave it a second thought.

Now again I stayed out a lot later than normal as usually I leave by 11 at the latest and tonight it was almost midnight but it was a fun night.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in Susan’s life.

Okay a close-up selfie


December 9, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan, Rose_City_T-Girls | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Wednesday night dinner at Rock Bottom

It is Wednesday and I am going out to Dinner with my friends, it has bee a while since I have made one of these midweek dinners with everything that has been going on the last several months so I am really looing forward to it. Now I wasn’t sure how many would make it tonight but I was still looking forward to it. Now as it has been a while, I took extra time to make sure I looked my best, yes as Susan I do care about looking my best when I go out with my friends. I was ready a little after 6 and on my way. We are eating at Rock Bottom brewery in downtown Portland, we have gone here many times and always had a wonderful time. I got downtown about 6:30 and did drive around the blocks looking for a parking spot before giving up and going to the Parking garage a block away and parking. Such a big change from 10 years ago where I had to park right in front of where I was going and never would have walked the streets of Portland at night as Susan.

I walked from the Parking garage to Rock Bottom and it was cold outside, about 40 but with a strong wind which made it feel really cold out, of course I was wearing a dress and my ankle boots. Yes, female clothes are not as warm but so much prettier. I got inside and Nicole was already there. It was great to see her again, she had told me she might make it tonight which was nice. We talked for a few minutes as we waited for others to show up, Nicole had already put our name in for a table and it was soon ready. They actually set us up with a table for 10 even though we told them probably 6. We sat down and I texted Melissa where we were as I knew she would be here tonight. Nicole and I talked for a little bit and soon Jeanie showed up. It has been a while since I have seen her. Melissa showed up just a few minutes later so we were up to 4 of us now. We ordered drinks, I had my normal Sierra Mist, yes, I am not a drinker. One of the little interesting facts about me. I go to Starbucks all the time but can’t stand coffee, I go to Bars and clubs and don’t drink alcohol. For me it is not where I go but that I am Susan and I am out with my friends.

Joanie also made it tonight, I have met her once maybe twice before so it was nice to get to talk with her again. Now we did get a group picture after dinner of us by there Christmas Tree, what a cute group of ladies. Joanie took the picture as she didn’t want to be in it. We all ordered our food and I had their Chicken Fried Chicken which is awesome. Yes, I have this every time we come here. Now the staff here is wonderful as always, we have always been treated incredibly well here by everyone.

Now we were eating our dinner when Kitty showed up, it was so nice to see her again. She also doesn’t get out much with the group. We talked a little between all of us and it was a really fun night. We finished eating and then sat and just talked for a while, we had 6 tonight for dinner. Kitty was the first to leave and a little while later Joanie left and we were down to just 4 of us again. Now I was in no hurry tonight as I have Thursday off as I have some family things, I need to take care of so I can stay out later. The 4 of us talked some more, just a fun girl’s night out. Susan really does have wonderful friends and a wonderful life.

Now after dinner while we were talking Nicole wanted a picture of her by the Christmas Tree so I took a couple of her and then of course I had to have her take a couple of me. Now they turned out pretty good, well the picture Nicole took was great it was more the way I stood. I just look at pictures of me when you can see all of me, I just think I come off looking stiff the way I stand. I really need to work on the way I pose. Now the dress I am wearing tonight is cute and I guess it is my Christmas Dress. Now by this I don’t mean I only wear it at Christmas but looking back on my blog the only other picture I have of me by my Christmas tree from 2016 I was also wearing this same dress.

Now I love this time of year and I have been listening to Christmas music now since before Thanksgiving and I put my Christmas lights up the weekend before Thanksgiving. Now for me because of this I wish people Merry Christmas but if you like Happy Holidays you are more than welcome to say that to me and I will not be offended.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my newest blog to see what is new in my life.

Now a side note, Former President George H Bush passed away last Week and today they had his memorial service and for a brief time we came together as a country which was nice. So, my political statement is this and it is what we all want, respect. I don’t care what your political stand is or what your religious beliefs are but your rights are no more important than mine. I will not push my beliefs on you and expect the same from you. You don’t have to like the way I live my life or my views but you do need to respect my right to be who I am and I will do the same to you. If we want people to treat us this way, we need to treat others that way. The last point is respect for office. You don’t have to like your congressman, senator or president but the office they fill does deserve respect and this week we saw this probably the most we have seen in a few years. There have been a lot of people elected I didn’t vote for and didn’t like and I may have spoken out about things they did but they were still my elected official and that office deserved respect. That is the only way our form of government will work and survive. Please let’s come together as a country and not try to divide us.

December 6, 2018 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday Susan time

It Is Sunday again and I have time for Susan which I am really looking forward to. I couldn’t get out yesterday to the Escape as I had so much going on so I decided I go out tonight to Starbucks for a little while. Really had nothing to do but figured I could spend time on my computer there as Susan which is better then at home. I got there a little after 4 and again they were kind of busy, about 20 people but most were at the bigger tables as they were bigger groups, 4 to 6 people so the tables for 2 along the windows were open. Now I don’t know if they are just getting busier or if it is the time of the year as it gets dark early and it is colder out so maybe people are just coming here for that reason but it is nice to have other people here.

I did a little work and caught up on some e-mails but mostly just played on my computer. It was a relaxing night out and of course any time I can get out as Susan is wonderful. It really is hard to explain but I just so enjoy my Susan time. I know it probably makes no sense to spend an hour getting ready just to go to a Starbucks for a couple hours but I enjoy it and it makes me happy and that is all I need to know. I stayed here at Starbucks till about 6:45 before I left as I was getting hungry. Now I have been going to the Subway near bye but tonight I felt like a hamburger so I decided to go to the Wendy’s I gone to many times. I got to Wendy’s and went in. they were a little busier than I thought they would be at7pm but they do have a TV and a nice fire to sit by, one of the reasons I like this one.

I stood inline and waited my turn behind 3 people. It was finally my turn and the girl taking my order looked at me and said “wow it has been a while, glad to see you back” wow made me feel good. Now I realize being transgender I stand out a little more and am probably more memorable, but still a nice feeling. We chatted for a couple minutes and of course she complimented me on my nails, se told me she tried them but they just got in the way too much. I really love when this happens. I got my food and sat by the fire to eat as I watched the tv. It was just travel show but it was something to pass the time as I ate. I was here about 30 minutes and it was actually busier when I left then when I got there.

It was a short night out with out doing much but still relaxing and fun. It was a little after 8 when I got home. I am planning on going out Wednesday night for dinner if I can get some of my friends to go which I don’t think will be that hard. not sure where we will go but as long as I can go out with my friends it wil be wonderful.

I did get a few selfies tonight. Be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new.




December 2, 2018 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday Susan time and a quick story

It is Sunday and I am getting a little Susan time, yes, a trip to Starbucks for a few hours to do work and write my blog from last night at the Escape. Now a little story as last night Nicole and I were talking about times we went out and I shared a story about getting acrylic nails that I don’t think I ever posted in a blog as it was before this blog started. Years ago, back in the late 90’s before I really started going out, a big night out was to leave home after 11 pm and drive around for an hour or so and if things were just right a trip through Burger kings drive through. Anyway, those who follow my blog know I love acrylic nails. Now it is always funny when a woman tells me about how expensive it is to get nails and I just don’t understand it as I do. The first several time I got nails were really expensive. I actually got a motel room for 3 nights usually a Thursday, Friday and Saturday. Worked up all my courage to dress and go to the nail salon and get acrylic nails. And then spent most of the time in the motel room as Susan with the late-night drives then went and got them removed. It was $200 or more to have them for 3 days when everything was added in.

Well back to my story, I think it was either 1998 or 1999 in the spring and I had a week of vacation I had to use or lose it so I took a week of and had no plans. At this time, I had a roommate so the reason I rented motel rooms. any way I had told no one I was taking the week off, I just figured I would get some Susan time at home while my roommate was working. Well the week before my vacation he told me he was going out of town for 3 to 4 weeks on a job. I could hardly hide my joy as now I could get acrylic nails and have them for the whole week. This was actually only the second time I had gotten acrylic nails and it was just a couple months after the first time so I called the same nail salon and made an appointment for Friday night.

Now I love red nails and never thought much of French nails, I think French can look really pretty if they are not to long and you have smaller fingers so I never thought about them. Friday came and Susan worked up the courage to go to the salon and I got long acrylic nails. The lady doing them kept trying to get me to get French and finally said try them and if you don’t like them, she could paint over them so I did. Soon I had long French nails and I been right I don’t think they look as good on my hands but I decided to keep them as they were figuring I could come back and get them painted so I went home for the night. N9w Saturday morning I got up with my nails and went down and made breakfast and sat watching TV as I thought what I could do. Should I be Susan at home or go out as my male self with my nails and see if anyone noticed as I figured I could kind of hide them in my pockets. As I sat there my front door opened and in walked my roommate. Turns out the construction job he was working out of town got red flagged and shut down for a week so he was off work. Well I quickly hid my hand in my pocket as he explained this. Now what should I do, well luckily the French nails were not noticeable unless I had my hands open. Well I ended up keeping my nails and every morning I would get up and leave as normal and go to the mall or library as my male self with my nails. I actually kept them till the following Friday before removing them of course with him home I couldn’t do it as Susan so I had to go as my male self. I told the lady a friend had done my nails as practice for school and was going to remove them tomorrow but I got called into work and had to get them off now and she seemed to by my story. So, any way the only time I have had French nails actually worked out for me but since then they have always had color as I just like color better. Here is an old picture of them.

Well back to today. I got ready and was on my way by 4:30 a little later than I wanted. I decided to wear my jeggings I bought a few years ago. They are stretchy pants that fit tight and look like jeans. I got my corset on yes, I wear it most times I go out as it gives me a nice shape. I got it tightened and pulled up my jeggings and couldn’t get them closed, just not stretchy enough so it was either take the corset off or tighten it up. Well I am sure you guessed which way I went. I tightened it more and still just not enough so one more time tightening it while sucking in my tummy and breathing out my air. I got the Jeggings closed and I was ready to leave, wow hard to breath can only take shallow half breaths. W I understand what a corset can really do as I have an awesome shape tonight. I went straight to Starbucks as I have a lot of leftovers from Thanksgiving so I figure when I get home tonight, I will eat so no Subway this week. Now it really was hard to get into my car as I can not bend over at all and I actually got a little out of breath.

I went into Starbucks and they were not real busy so I put my computer on a table and went to order my drink. The lady working the counter remembered me and asked if I wanted my hot chocolate, I went with a green sweetened ice tea. Yes, I am kind of strange that way. I go to Bars and don’t drink and I go to Starbucks but can’t stand coffee. As I was getting my drink one of the girls from the drive though said hi to me and said wow twice in one day. I kid of looked at her and she said didn’t you come through the drive through a couple hours ago. I said no but bow I am wondering if there is a lady out there that looked kind of like I do and if so, would be funny to run into her here, well I think it would be funny if I looked like her, she might not feel the same way if she looked like me.

I sat and wrote my blog from last night and the able I was at was by the window. As they are small table and I can plug my computer in but they are also a little chilly there so by a little after 6 I was up for another drink and this time it was my hot chocolate, by the way Starbucks make awesome hot chocolate. I sat back down and caught up on some e-mails and did some work and then just goofed off in the internet for the rest of the evening. I did take a couple selfies but the lighting inside and the shadows I just didn’t like them but this was the better of the two.

I stayed till 8 before going home to eat and then getting ready for bed as I get up early for work. It was a relaxing evening out. By the way I looked back in my blogs and I think the first time I wrote about going to Starbucks was in the fall of 2009 but ready my blog I think I may have gone a time or two before and maybe not wrote about it. But it looks like I have been going to Starbucks as Susan for at least 9 years. This is my 1114th blog and it seems I had other outing that I may not have written about. That is a lot of Susan time. 10 years ago, I would never have imagined I would be enjoying life as Susan and going out like this. Here is an early blog when I went out with Alice and a cute picture of the two of us. As you can see from my early blogs I have gotten better at writing and a little more long winded, but back then the blogs were for me to document what I did for me. I never thought anyone would find my blog let alone read it.

Thanks for reading and be sure and see what Susan is up to on my most recent blog.

Okay one quick selfie when I got home


November 30, 2018 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night out at Escape, getting back into the routine.

It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and I hope and pray you all had a wonderful one. Mine was good a little quiet, I had my mom over for the day and cooked dinner. It was a little different this year as I did the same thing last year for both my parents. It has been 9 weeks since my Dad passed away and it does get easier but there are certain things that you remember, things you did together and those can be hard. it was a good day though. Any way as I said it is Saturday night and I am going out to the Escape for a few hours. I had hoped to be there by 5pm but I didn’t get home till after 4:30 so I set my sights on 6 and started getting ready. I knew the dress I was going to wear. It was about 5:45 when I was ready and went to the closet for my dress and of course changed my mind and went with my black and gold dress instead. Got my nails on and was out the door. I got to the Escape just after 6 and parked right in front and went in.

They were not as busy as last week and I was able to get my usual table in hopes others would show up, I posted in our group I would be here between 6 & 7. I went to the bar and ordered dinner and my drink, Sprite as I don’t drink. It is funny as when I first started going out, I think I was the only girl that didn’t drink, now I would say it is 30% to 40% and some of those who do drink have one or two and then switch to pop. There was a young lady at the bar that came over and talked to me, her name was Nicole and she thought I looked beautiful, now she had been drinking but I still took it as a compliment. I really do love being complimented on how I look as Susan, in my male life never really give this much thought. I stood there and talked with her for 5 to 10 minutes before going to my table. I no more than got my computer out and my dinner came so I ate it while responding to an E-mail. A few weeks back I went through some of my friends I have not heard from in a while and sent them an e-mail. I got a reply from Kendra who I have not seen in probably 6 years. She is still doing well and took a break from being Kendra but it is coming back again. I have learned this from myself. I could probably stop dressing if it was a life or death issue but Susan would always be with me, a part of me and I would think about her and dressing all the time. I am hoping one of the times she gets to Portland she will have some Kendra tine and we can get together. It is so easy to lose touch with people especially when you only know one side, or part of them.

Well as I finished my e-mail Nicole showed up, she came down from the Seattle area to go out with us. She gets down here 4 to 6 times a year and I always look forward to seeing her. I remember the first time I met her at Washington Square mall. It was February of 2014, yes, I cheated and looked it up in my blog. Wow I have known her for almost 5 years and she goes out almost twice a week now. I really have made some wonderful friends. She ordered dinner also. Bobbie also showed up so there were 3 of us. We ate and talked and it was so much fun. She was telling me how she brought several dresses down for tonight as she was not sure what she would feel like wearing and of course I told her how I changed my mind on what I was going to wear tonight and also my first Diva Las Vegas in which I too almost everything. I had enough dresses on that trip to wear 2 every day plus and several skirts and capri and enough tops to also have 2 a day just to be safe. It is so much fun being a girl. Nicole also has a blog that is private and that is okay, I would encourage everyone to have some kind of record of your life for later on, she writes what she ore and where she went and puts pictures of her outfits. I look Back on my blog all the time, how I found when I met Nicole. Now I did take a selfie when I first got here should have gotten a picture with Nicole.

Now the girl I met at the bar when I first got here came over again so I got to introduce Nicole to Nicole, how cute. We talked for a few minutes and another girl name Melinda came over. I have never met either of them before but they wanted up to dance with them, yes, they have both been drinking. Well I explained I was not a dancer but this didn’t seem to register with them as they took hold of my hand and pretty much pulled me to the floor, well I wasn’t fighting to hard. so now Nicole and Melinda, and Bobbie, Nicole and I were out dancing the best I could. Now I know my body does not bend the way theirs does but I tried as I could, of course I had my corset on which also limited my movement. We probably only dance 5 or 10 minutes before we went back to our table and I was a little out of breath, yes, the corset does limit your breathing. Melinda talked with us a little more before she went back and joined her friend.

Robyn also showed up as did another girl from our group. There was also another transgendered woman here with I assume her wife but they sat together at a small table. I did wave at them but wasn’t sure if I should go over as they seemed to be on their own and I didn’t want to interrupt them. 9 pm came and Karaoke started so it got a little loud and hard to talk but it was still fun. Nicole stayed later tonight as she made it till a little after 10pm, she usually leaves at 9 when Karaoke starts. She might make it down in December but if not, she will be down in January. It was sad to see her leave but it was a great night, I did tell her the Starbucks I am going to now a she did pop in on me once at the Starbucks by my house as her male self of course. Would be so fun if she could meet me at Starbucks as Nicole.

Laurie also showed up just before 10 so we actually had 5 of us tonight, a smaller group but a lot of fun. I stayed till a little after 11 before paying my bill and heading home. It was a fun night out a I got to see my friends. It is hard when you don’t see your friends as they are a big part of one’s life. Cassandra has not been out much and with the holidays, she is really busy so I am guessing it will be after the first of the year before we can get together again and Julie is out of town for a few months although she may come back for a few days from time to time and I am hoping we can get together. I did talk with Cassandra on the phone the other night for almost an hour as we are planning on Diva Las Vegas next March as we both want to go that is if I can get the time off. The week they picked is not good for me at work but I am hoping to work it out. We are talking about going earlier and then leaving the Friday it ends so we only have 1 weekend in Las Vegas s it has gotten expensive. 5 years ago, we went for 9-night, 2 weekend and stayed on the strip and we paid lees than $400. Looking quickly online for the next Diva Las Vegas we are looking at $650 to $900 for 9 night and 1 weekend if we stay downtown and $1400 to $1900 if we stay on the Strip. I actually like the downtown more as the hotel casinos are no as big and massive so easier to get around and go between casinos plus you can find $5 blackjack. On the strip it is $10 on a weekday, $15 in the evenings and who knows about weekend. I like to play for fun so much rather have a cheep table. It was a wonderful night out though.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in Susan’s life.

November 25, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sunday Susan time and another first.

Okay it is Sunday before Thanksgiving and I have some free time and that means Susan time. I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and know that what I am most thankful for is my family and friends and that includes all of you! Now there is another first for Susan that I will share. Now something I don’t talk much about but I pretty much wear ladies’ panties all the time now. It kind of started years ago and I didn’t wear them all the time but as my men’s wore out, I just bought more female ones till now that is all I really have which leads to my problem. A few days ago, I was doing laundry and my dryer went out, it is 27 years old so it had a good life. So yesterday I went to home Depot and bought a brand-new front load energy efficient washer and dryer (my washer is 16 years old). They had them on sale for 40% off still with pedestals, and the part to install it and tax it used up most of what I had set aside for the Cruise I didn’t get to go on. The cruise would have been more fun and a lot of better memories but hopefully the new ones will last as long as my last ones, any way a little off topic. I took all my wash over to where my mom lives and did it this morning but I couldn’t take Susan’s stuff over there. So, as I was getting ready, I put all of it in the washing machine. It was about 3:30 when I was ready to go. I loaded up Susan’s wet clothes and off to a laundry mat a couple miles from where I live to use one of their machines to dry them. Now there were a couple ladies there doing their wash and one worker as you can drop off your laundry for them to do for you also. I put my laundry in the dryer and got my computer out as I waited for them to dry. Now as I said this is a first not just for Susan but also my male self as I have always had a washer dryer at home to use. My new ones will be delivered on Saturday December 1st as that was the soonest, they could do it on a Saturday, I could have had it this week but they give you a 4-hour delivery time and the latest is 1 to 5 and they don’t let you know till the night before which is hard for people who work.

Well I got done with my clothes and left here about 4:15 and drove to the Subway near my house for something to eat. There were about 10 people inside eating which is the most I have seen but it was close to dinner time. I got my sandwich and sat down and ate it. It was a little after 5 when I was done and went to Starbuck’s, again I didn’t go to the one right by my house but one about a mile away as it is open till 8:30pm both are really nice and the staff is wonderful at both but the one by my house closes at 7 which would give me less than 2 hours and Susan needs more time than that.

They were a little busy but it is a bigger one so still able to get a table. I ordered my sweetened green ice tea and sat down. One of the ladies brought me my drink and told me how much she liked my top which I thanked her. I just love getting compliments. I sat and did my Blog from Saturday night which was a lot of fun. Mellissa and I talked a little last night not only about our Wednesday night dinners but trying to do one Saturday night dinner a month and see if we can get more girls to come out. I like going to the Escape but it really is about being out with people and seeing my friends and not so much about the bar or where we are as I don’t drink and I have yet to get the courage to sing Karaoke by myself. I finished up my blog and then moved on to e-mails and some work I needed to do. I still love the fact that I can do some of my work as Susan, in a way it is like she is earning some of my pay check. Susan really doesn’t need to earn money as my male self will pretty much give her anything she wants. It is funny as when I buy something for my male self, I analyze it, do I need it, will I use it, is it worth it. For Susan it is simple, is it cute and do I want it. I know it may confuse people when I talk about the two sides of me that way as if they are different people, trust me they are not but when I first started going out, I really did separate them that way, I looked at them and treated them as two different sides of me. Over the years I have come to accept the fact they are in fact one and the same. Susan is always with me even if not visible and the same for my male self. I would not be who I am or a complete person without both of them. All those years I told myself I could quit being Susan, could quit dressing, quit the makeup, I know now I can’t and once I accepted that my life became clear and so much better. Now I am not saying this is how everyone is or should be this is how I feel and what is right for me.

Now as I sat at Starbucks there were several people around and there was one lady sitting here and occasionally, she would walk around and she did stop at my table and say hi and ask me my name. I think she is homeless and inside getting warm. I felt bad for her and wondered what I could do, I don’t like to give cash. I thought about getting a gift card or just buying her a drink. I decided I would get her a $10 gift card as she could get a warm drink and also a little food if she wanted. now one bad thing is I had 3 of my nails come off tonight which is really rare, I am thinking dealing with my wet laundry while getting ready my nails weren’t dry when I put them on, or maybe the wet laundry at the laundry mat loosened them. I guess Susan is not meant to do laundry so that will go back to being a job for my male self. You can see how I do my nails on my blog and they really work well if you have clean dry nails to start with and I think that was my problem tonight.

I stayed here till a little after 8 before heading home. It was a good night out for Susan. Be sure and keep up with what is new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

Okay have to post this, it is a picture from Saturday night that Sasha took and I love it. I have a nice smile (smiles always make you look better) plus I am not looking directly at the camera so there is a nice angle to the picture and that also gives a little bit of shadow which softens the look. Let me know what you think

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

November 19, 2018 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape

Okay I am getting back into going out as Susan and tonight I am going to the Escape for a while and I am looking forward to it. First though before I started getting ready, I did my Christmas light on my house, okay I cheated as I got a few of the Laser projected lights at Walmart, they have them on sale for 19.99 and are very cool. Took me less than a half hour to get set up, just have to wait till it is dark or at least a little darker to make sure they are projecting on my house correctly. It was about 3:30 when I started getting ready. I was all ready well accept for my dress and lipstick by 4:45. Now before I did my lipstick and dress, I slipped on my pants and a shirt and went out to position my lights. It was dark enough to see them on the house although it was still light outside. I spent about 20 minutes adjusting the lights outside in my front yard with full makeup on accept for the aforementioned lipstick. Now I realize no one would really notice unless they came over to talk to me as I was facing my house and not the street. It was a little after 5 when I went in and did my lipstick bright red and put my dress, heels and hair on and was on my way.

I like getting to the Escape early as parking is easier and it gives me a little time on my computer before friends show up. As I got close, I noticed a lot of cars parked on the street which is not normal for this early and the parking lot was full. I pulled back on the street and as I was going by the parking lot to go find a parking place a car pulled out so I was able to pull right back in and get a spot almost right in front of the door. I went in and they were packed, I don’t think I have eve seen it this busy. There was only 1 small table by the window so I took it. Now I had to go stand in line to order dinner. Turns out there was a group here celebrating a lady 70th birthday. I got back to my table and got out my computer, now over the next hour at least 7 women came over and talked with me, 3 asked if I knew the birthday girl as they thought I was part of the group. I explained I was just here to meet some friends later. They were fine with and even gave me a piece of cake.

Now I wasn’t sure who all would be here tonight other than Bobbie and most likely Sasha as Sasha posted in the group if anyone was going here tonight and I replied. Now occasionally girls will post in the group they are thinking of going someplace but I have found if you want people to show up you have to say you will be there as some are bot willing to go unless they know for sure someone will be there. I said I would be here from 6 till 10 so that is what I will do. Now they had a DJ playing dance music for the party so it was loud from the start. A little before 7 Mellissa and her wife showed up and it was nice to see them. We talked for a little while but it was hard ton hear so they didn’t stay long.

I little after 7 Laura M showed up, turns out she was meeting a friend who just came out as Transgender. They have known each other for years but didn’t know this about each other, small world. Her friend showed up shortly after, Venessa and her girlfriend Rickie. Laura introduced me and they were bot awesome. Now the funny part, Laura and Venessa sat and talked about the thing they did as guys now that they are female, two ladies talking about masculine things they did.

Bobbie showed up as did Sasha, Robyn and another girl from our group. It was nice to see Sasha and Robyn as I have not seen them for a while. As it got closer to 9 when Karaoke starts the party started to wind down and the normal table, we sit at opened up so we moved over there. Way more comfortable to sit in a chair with a back and that you can put your feet on the ground then a tall bar stool. Laura, Venessa, Rickie and I talked some more and I got to know them better and they really are nice ladies. I look forward to talking with them again sometime. I really do like meeting new people something I am not good at as my male self, I am way shyer when I am not Susan. Now as Karaoke started it started getting busier again although it really was busy the whole night. A little before 10 Laurie showed up so we had a good turnout tonight. I ended up staying till midnight so another late night but it was a wonderful evening out as I met sine new people, Venessa and Rickie and got to spend time with my friends. Now I am looking forward to Sunday night as I plan to go out again to Starbucks for a little personal Susan time.

Okay I didn’t get any pictures tonight but Sasha took a few and got one of me that I just love, besides the smile and the angle as I am not looking at the camera there is a nice shadow on my face which I think softens the picture. Let me know what you think.

November 18, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sunday time as Susan

It is Sunday November 11th 2018 Veteran’s and the 100th year anniversary of the ending of WWI. Now I was never in the military but both my parents were and I have a lot of friends both as Susan and my male self that were. I want to thank you all for your service, you are why we have the freedoms we do. No matter what your political beliefs are, what your life style is you owe a debit to these brave men and woman. I am proud to live in this great country, proud to be an American, proud of our flag and proud of all our veteran’s.

Now I had some free time this afternoon and evening and of course that means some Susan time. I got ready and was on my way by 4. Now usually I have been going to Starbuck’s and then going to get something to eat after but that has been around 8 or later when I eat so I decided to mix it up today and go to Subway first and eat. Now again this is close to my house but that is okay now. This is also a subway I have gone to for years as my male self although it has been weeks since I was here other than as Susan. Now being a little after 4 I figured they would be busy but they weren’t. I was the only one here. The same lady who made my sandwich last week was here again and remembered me and asked how my day was going. We talked as she made my sub sandwich. When it was done, she asked if it was for here or to go and I said here although I asked her to cut one of the halves in half again which she did and then asked if I was taking half of it to go and I said yes so, she wrapped it separate. I figured I would eat half here and sneak the other half into Sawbuck’s for later. Now sure how Starbuck’s would feel bringing in outside food as they do sell some food items and I figured ¼ of sandwiches would not be as noticeable. I spent about a half hour here eating before going to Starbucks, again I didn’t go to the ne right by my house as they close at 7 instead, I went to one about a half mile further which is open till 8:30 as I figure I have eaten I can stay a little later. By the way I did take a selfie inside Subway.

I got to Starbucks and went in, there was only about 12 people there but there were two groups of 5 at the bigger tables so the tables along the windows were open which is where I like to sit as I can plug my computer in if needed. I ordered my drink and sat down and wrote my blog for yesterday. I also caught up on some work, I so love the fact I can do work as Susan even if no one at work knows about Susan or this side of me. It is a really relaxing way to spend a few hours and work is just somehow better doing it as Susan.

Okay onto a crossdressing topic as I was talking with a friend and we got onto the topic of attraction. Now let me clarify this is how I feel, my opinion and what is right for me and in no way translates or represents other. Sad, I have to put this disclaimer in but I do not want to offend anyone. I am a straight male, as Susan or my male self, I am attracted to females. When I am Susan I try to dress and present myself as the female I am attracted to. The things I notice first of a woman is her face, now before I get comments what I am looking for is a smile and how she does her makeup. If she is smiling that is a plus, if she has lipstick on a plus, red lipstick, big plus. I also look at her nails, long pretty nails a plus. Smooth, soft, clean skin in other words no tattoos a plus, this is where I will get in trouble. I am not against tattoo’s and have dated woman with tattoos. what I mean by this is I have never looked at a woman and said wow check out those tattoo’s I got to talk with her. But I am not against dating a woman with tattoos. are they wearing a dress or skirt a plus, heels a plus. Long hair a plus. That would describe my ideal woman. Now that being said I have only dated 1 woman with long nails. Only 3 had long hair most didn’t like to wear dresses or heels unless it was something special and I would say about half had tattoos. And none of them liked red lipstick. Just because that is what I find attractive to me doesn’t mean that is the only choice. Again, this is just that vision in my mind of the perfect woman and we all now that there is no such thing as perfection.

Now for the second topic, men. I get asked a lot how I can dress as I do, try to be as pretty and as feminine as I can and not want a man. Simple look above for what I find attractive. I like a soft body, smooth (no hair on body). The curves of a woman. Simply put there is nothing I find attractive about the male body. I am not saying others can’t be attracted to the male form its just not for me. That being said I do like having people tell me I am pretty, male or female. It is flattering. Now that being said I can say a man can be handsome as I can appreciate beauty in all forms even if I am not attracted to them. Kind of like looking at a painting. There are many forms and styles of painting and I can appreciate all of them and see the beauty in them but if I am going to hang one on my wall it would be a seascape, maybe with a boat or ship or a mountain painting as that is what I really like. So simply put I can see beauty and appreciate it without being attracted to it. Attraction is separate from recognizing beauty.

It is so easy to say this is how I feel and so everyone else must feel the same and that is almost never the case. We are all individuals and although we may feel the same on some things there will be differences and that is good. Life would be boring if we were all the same. It is these differences that make life fun, makes it fun to meet other people and get to know them. So just because someone is different than you don’t just write them off, get to know them and you will find there are things you have in common and things you like.

Now back to Starbucks’s. I stayed here till 8:30 and there were times it got really busy inside and times there were only a few of us, this Starbucks has a drive through and so it doesn’t have the foot traffic inside like the other one as most people who come in stay. There were 4 other people in here with computers, 2 males and 2 females and a few groups of 2 or 3 sitting and talking. It really is a social place to go and a good place to people watch. It was a good time out and I got a lot of stuff done. Now I have heard that the new movie bohemian rhapsody is really good, everyone who has seen it says so. As a matter of fact, I have had a lot of people, friends, co-workers and the like just come up to me out of the blue and ask if I have seen it and tell me how good it is and I have to see it. So, I am thinking I should go and see it and really want to as Susan. I may see if some of my friend want to see it. Over the years I have gone to the movies by myself both as Susan and male mode and I may end up doing that but way more fun to go with someone so if any of my friends read this and want to see this movie let me know. Probably should have put this at the beginning instead of the end but I guess I will see who reads to the end.

Thanks for e=reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is knew.

November 12, 2018 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday and some Susan time going to the Escape

It is Saturday and yes, I am going to the Escape tonight. Now I have the night free and I am looking forward to a fun night out. I started getting ready early as I wanted some extra time out as Susan. I took my time and was ready about 3:45 and I chose my grey/white dress that is clingy in the right parts and a little thicker so warmer as we are getting into the colder weather. I didn’t get a picture of the dress tonight but found one on an old blog if you want to see what it looks like. Now I was ready but what to do, little early to go to the Escape and really a little over dressed for Starbuck’s. I decided to go to the cemetery and visit my Dad, this will be the second time Susan, the daughter he never knew visits him. The Cemetery is only about 15 minutes south of the Escape so I figured that would be perfect. There was a little traffic but I got there about 4:15, now I figured they would not be that busy as they close at 5 but there were actually a lot of people there, I forgo this is Veteran’s Day Weekend. I want to thank all the Veteran’s, past, present and future who have served and gave so much for the freedoms we have. Tomorrow, Sunday November 11th is the 100th anniversary of the end of WWI, the 11th day of the 11th month at the 11th hour a very special date and time.

Well as I said it was a little busy but my Dad is in a newer section so where I was, I was the only one but I could see probably 20 other people in the nearby sections, really not that far as they are divided by walk ways. This is a huge cemetery as it covers 270 acres Now this is the 4th time I have been here twice as Susan and twice as my male self and I always notice dear tracks. Turns out they come in and eat the flowers people leave and they must be use to people here as they seem to not be bothered by people here. Here are a couple pictures of the section opposite of where I am and you can see the dear and someone at a gravesite on the left and the dear are between them and their car. It really is beautiful here. My dad loved the outdoors, fishing and hunting and I know he would love the fact the dear are here around him.

I stayed here for about 20 to 30 minutes and it is fitting I was here on this weekend as my dad and mom are both veteran’s. It is still hard as I miss him even though I know he is in a better place. It really hits home when there is something we use to do together. I wonder what he would think of this side of me, I really am the same person, I mean I think, act and treat people the same. Now when I left there were several people in the next section over near the walkway and I even passed two woman on the walkway as they were going in as I was going to my car. Now I will admit I was probably the only one here in a dress and heels but with my wrap on most probably wouldn’t have noticed, by the way heels on grass in a cemetery is a little tricky. I did take a couple selfies here as I wanted something to remember this by. This is not the best picture but it has my Dad’s head stone by my left shoulder. It was about 4:45 when I left the Cemetery and headed for the Escape.

I am not sure how many from our group will be at the Escape tonight but I am looking forward to being around people and having a good time. I got to the Escape and it was pretty busy, only one parking spot on the curb so I took it and went in. the big table we normally get was open so I sat down and got out my computer and then went and orered some food. It was just a little after 5 and I figured if anyone from my group showed up it would be at least 7 so I had a couple hours to kill and I knew just how, I still needed to write my blog from Thursday when I had dinner with Julie, so much fun and such a great friend, she really is just like family to me. I spent about an hour writing the blog whie eating and also watching the Oregon Duck’s football game. It was fun and relaxing and it was nice to have the people around me although most were at the bar. I also spent some tie catching up on e-mails and what some of my friends are doing on Facebook. Now I will say I have snoozed people on Facebook for 30 days which I found out you can do. I do not want to see nasty things about one side or the other on the political spectrume. I don’t mind post of what you believe or feel is right but I do not want the name calling or demanizing the other side as I feel this only makes it worse and devides our country even more. We all see the post about bulling kids in schools or online and I feel this is the same thing and I don’t want to be a part of it, I love all my friends regaurdless of who youu voted for and so in showing respect for all of you this is my way.

It was about 7 when Bobbie showed up so at least one other was here. I finished up what I was doing on my computer or more like my computer finished up as my battery went dead about 7:30. I use to get about 5 hours on my battery but tonight only a little over 2 but I am thinking it was because my computer was cold as I kept it in the trunk till I got to the Escape and it was kind of cold out tonight. Bobbie and I talked a little but we were both watching the football game. It was also getting busier as a couple groups of people came in. it is nice gettng here early and having some me time and also gives me a chance to get a table.

A little afterv8 Jan and Lynn showed up so there were 4 of us. It was so ood to see them again as I was looking forward to talking to them about the cruise. Jan bought a new wedding ring for Jan and one day on the cruise she rented a tux and surprised her by proposing again and I think they renewed their wedding vows, how special is that. Lynn was so happy with her ring and we talked about it for a while and I forgot to ask about if they did renew their vows. By the way Lynn knows both my parents and has for years, kind of a funny little side story of Susans life. It really is a small world when you tthink of it. Lynn and I discovered this probably 6 years ago give or take a year. I really am sad I missed the cruise but there was just now way this year. I am hoping the group will do it again in a coupe years.

At 9 Karaoke started and it is always fun although very hard to talk as it gets loud. Now a lot of the songs that were sung including the first 5 or 6 I have never heard before so either they are obscure songs or newer ones as I listen to the oldies station on the radio, oldies as in the 80’s, I rmember when oldies were 60’s. now 2 woman came over and told me how pretty I was and one of them really liked my dress which is a cute look be sure and check out my old blog to see the picture but remember tonight I have my corset on so I have more curves then in the picture in the old blog. I really do love it when people tell me I am pretty or they like my dress or makeup, it just makes you feel good. Laurie showed up a little after 10 and it was good to see her again, she usually gets her later and I remember the days I always went out afetr 9 or 10. I did get one selfie here at the Escape. Well I got two but one was with anoher lady and I forgot to ask if I could post the picture. I had noticed her all night trying to take selfies with her friends and struggling to hold the camera and push the button so I showed her my trick. Set yur self timer for 2 seconds and that way you can push the button and then hold it out to get the picture plus this way those in the picture can see the screen timer and know when the picture will be taken

It was a little after midnight when I left for home. It was a wonderul night out and the time at the cemetery was special. I really do like going there as Susan as in a way my dad finally knows his daughter. Thanbks for reading and be sure and check out my most rescent blog to see what is new in my life.


November 11, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, family, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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