Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday Susan time and I went out for a while

It is Friday morning and I have the whole day to be Susan. now as I have family in town this weekend I really wanted to get as much Susan time as possible so I started getting ready by 10am. Now I took my time doing my makeup and I once again did my eye makeup first and yes it was a little more dramatic with the purple eye shadow which I am really liking and yes, I did false eye lashes today. I also used my MAC Studio Fix foundation as it will be an all-day as Susan and of course red lipstick. I really liked the look for the day. I was already a little before noon. Now this week I had 2 things I had hoped to do, 1 was go to the coast but we never really had good weather, the other was to go to the Ilani casino near where I live. Now this casino is only 10 minutes from where I live but I have only been there a few times. I think 3 times as my male self and maybe 5 times as Susan yes, I go here more as Susan. Now the other thing is every time I have gone here, I have seen someone I know maybe not well but still a lot of people go here and it is close to where I live. As a matter of fact, I know several people who work here, 3 who work in the restaurants, 1 who does security, 1 for medical and yes even 1 who works as a dealer and I am sure there are others I just don’t know about. Actually, once when I was here as Susan before the masks, I actually played at a table with the dealer I know although I don’t know her really well and it was a few years ago so I doubt very much she would figure it out.

Well, I got a few pictures and then grabbed my purse and I was off to the casino. I got there about 12:15 and parked and went in and yes there were a lot of cars here. Now as I walked in, I had to pull my mask down so they could scan me I think it is to check my temperature and make sure I am not sick which is good. Now they were really busy, lots of people which surprised me being Friday during the day and yes most of the people were younger. Well, I did walk around and check things out to see what things looked like and then it was over to the table games and they were also busy. They had 1 $5 blackjack table which was full and about 15 $10 tables full and then some $15 and $25 tables which had seats at. I walked around and was going to sit at one of the $15 tables when someone left on of the $10 tables so I sat down between 2 men and at the far end were 2 women so there were 5 of us at the table but there were clear plastic dividers between all the players and even between the players and dealer with just about 6 inches at the bottom for placing your bets. Life has really changed.

I bought in for $50 and started playing now at $10 per hand this really is only 5 hands if you are unlucky and yes that has happened before. I started off good and wone the first 3 hand but overall, I would win then lose and just went up and down. Now they did change dealers twice so I had 3 different dealers all female and yes one was named Susan. last time I was here was last August and that time I had 2 dealers named Susan. I played for a while and I think my high was around $200 and my low was $20. The 4 people I was playing with the 2 women lost their money and stopped playing the 2 men played a while longer, they each left with a few hundred dollars of course I have no idea how much they started with. Well, when they left the one man wished me luck. Now as soon as a seat opens someone else sat down pretty quick so now, I was at the table with 4 men and I was doing okay but the last man to sit down really wasn’t playing correctly taking cards when he shouldn’t as a matter of fact in about a 15-minute period of time he bought chips 4 times at $200 each time. they brought in a new dealer and I decided to call it a day. I checked my phone and it was almost 3pm, I had been at the table over 2 hours. I colored my chips in and had $145 so I had done well. I went and cashed my chips in for money and then was on my way home. It was a nice little outing.

I got home and parked in the driveway and went into my house and watched some TV till about 5:30 and then it was time for Dinner. I decided to go to Panda Express and get something to eat. I git there and they were a little busy, they only allow 10 people inside and they had that plus 2 people waiting outside in front of me so it took a little while but I waited my turn to order. Now I always get the same thing when I come here and yes when I ordered the young lady taking my order asked if I wanted the sauce on the rice also which is how I get my order so I am guessing she remembered me. I paid for my order and was on my way home to eat.

I watched TV the rest of the evening till about 11pm and then it was time to clean up and put all traces of Susan away as my brother will be here for the weekend and staying with me. Now really, I have so much stuff that if he does really look around, he will find stuff but I made sure nothing was laying out in plain sight. It was a fun day and sad to see it end. Now I am looking forward to next Wednesday night when I get to spend some time with my friend on our weekly zoom meeting.

Stay safe and healthy and look forward to things getting back too normal. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 28, 2021 Posted by | casino, Susan Time | , , , , | Leave a comment

Thursday and a quiet day at home as Susan.

Well, it is Thursday and I had things to do early in the day so it was a little afternoon when I started getting ready as Susan. Now I did take my time doing my makeup and really tried for a casual daytime look, yes, I did the purple eye shadow but toned it down a little, a little lighter on my brows although I did go for the red lipstick. In all I was happy with the look today. Now I have no plans today just a quiet day at home and watching TV till I go over tonight to visit my mom.

Now I was all ready by 1:30pm and did get a few pictures for then day. Now I also went outside a few times to get a little fresh air but it was not real warm today so I am looking forward to summer. I actually thought about going for a walk on the waterfront but I would have had to wear a coat. Now this morning I had taken care of things when I got home, I parked in the drive instead of in my garage this way I can walk out to my car when I leave. It was about4:15 and I wanted to go get dinner at McDonalds. I grabbed my purse and waked out my front door. Now as I left the neighbor lady across the street was just getting home and was unloading her car but I just paid no attention to her and walked to my car and got in and left, not sure if she saw me or not but as I drove by, she didn’t stop what she was doing.

I got to McDonalds and yes had to wait in the drive through line to get to my order in but really didn’t take long so I was back home before 5 which was nice as it gives me time. I need to be to my mom’s by 6pm and if you read my blog last Tuesday you know I almost forgot and I made sure I didn’t make that mistake this week. It was a little after 5 and I was done eating and my goa; was to be in the shower by 5:15 so I had more time to clean up before going to see my mom. Well again that didn’t happen as my Brother called me to talk about this weekend, he is coming up Saturday morning and staying till Sunday afternoon. Well, we ended up talking about it and what we could do and I kept looing at the time as we talked as I realized I would have to rush again tonight. It was 5:34 when I got off the phone so it was a quick shower and I was off to see my mom or the evening. It was a quiet, short but fun day as Susan.

Now I am looking forward to Friday when I will get the whole day as Susan of course this will be my last chance of Susan till next Wednesday’s zoom meeting.

Stay safe and healthy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 26, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday Susan time and zoom meeting with friends.

Well, it is Wednesday and my plan was to get up around 8 and have breakfast and then go take care of a few things I needed to do as my male self and then in the early afternoon become Susan for the rest of the day including our groups zoom meeting tonight. Well things sometimes change and I got a call early this morning from work and they had an issue and I couldn’t get it fixed over the phone so I told them I would come in so I was up at 6 and getting ready for work but hopefully only for a couple hours, now I have been wearing lipstick every day to work as I have to wear a mask and as I will only be there a couple hours I chose red today. Now it was actually a simple fix and I was done by 9 and n my way to take care of the things I needed to do before going home and getting ready as Susan. I had all my stuff done by a little after 12 and decided to get a burger at Wendy’s before going home, I pulled in and there were probably 20 cars in line to get to the drive through and as they are open now, I just parked and went in. I ordered my food and the girl asked if I wanted it to go or dine in and without hesitation I said dine in as there were only about 6 other people eating inside and tables were spread apart and I am so ready to eat out again, only way it would have been better was if I was Susan. now I spent about 20 minutes here eating and the man 2 tables over kept talking to me, did I get their new spicy chicken sandwich, how good it was, best burger places, glad indoor dinning is open it was a little strange but didn’t really think about it to much. Well, I got home and started getting ready for Susan when I realized I had put lipstick on this morning when I went to work.

Well, I spent a little over an hour getting ready and yes, I used my lavender eye shadow as I am liking it the more, I wear it and yes, the lipstick color was the same color I wore earlier in the day. I decided to wear my maroon dress today to match my eye shadow which is a little lighter purple tonight. I was all ready by 2:30, got a few pictures and sat and watched TV and started this blog. About 5 I warmed up the rest of the pizza I had last night for dinner. About 6 I called my mom to check on her and talked with her till almost 7.

I started out meeting at 7 and girls were already waiting. Tonight, we would have 16 windows open with 18 people, we had Nicole, Jennifer & her wife, Jan & Lynn, Julie, Danika, Danielle, Jeanie, Melissa, Antonia, Trish, Rebecca, Kitty, Torie, Maille, Mary (Maille’s wife), and me. It was a good turn out tonight and so awesome Mary could join us, she is so supportive of Maille and that has really helped Maille. We have a lot of supportive wives / girlfriend / significant others in our group and it had really helped some of our girls. In a way it has also helped me also to know there are woman out there that can at least accept men who are transgender and some even support it, it gives us all hope. We had Mary, Lynn and Jennifer’s wife on tonight and actually briefly Julie’s girlfriend and Jeanie’s partner all supportive partners and it was good to talk with them and get their perspective. The one thing that came through listening to them was their partners transgender side made them the person they love and no I am not talking about how the look but how they ac and treat people and their personality.

I look at myself and yes, I love the makeup and clothes and how I look as Susan but it is more then that. My feminine side of me really does shape the person I am it influences every part of my life. The way I interact with people, the way I treat other people, Susan has made me a more caring and respectful person. Well, this actually leads us into Jennifer’s question tonight and that was how this part of our lives affects our personalities and what are the differences between our male and female selves.

Now we all had some things specific to ourselves or maybe more important to us then others but the main thing that came put is we are all happier when we are our feminine selves. Again, that doesn’t mean we are all going to transition it just means the joy we find in our feminine selves is what makes our lives special. Everyone has something in their lives that bring them joy, happiness, gives their lives perspective, it may be a hobby, sport or just something they really enjoy escaping their normal life. For years I hid this part of me, denied it was who I was and wanted it to go away. It was depressing and really did make me unhappy as I couldn’t be who I was. Once I accepted Susan and embraced her my life was so much better. So, for me that is the biggest thing. Now I am not telling everyone about this side of me but I am not hiding it anymore, I express Susan on a regular basis and go where I want. So, the differences for e are pretty simple, first I smile way more as Susan, I am happier with myself. I am more caring and in tune with other feelings and emotions. The last thing is I am way more outgoing, as my male self I kept to myself, shutting people out not letting them get close to me, Susan on the other hand loves to meet and talk to people on my male side I was not big on talking, when I did get in conversations I was waiting for them to end, Susan loves to talk to people and these zoom meetings are a good example, when we first started doing them they would last maybe 2 hours now a lot of times we go almost 3 hours, tonight it was 10:30 when it ended so it was 3 ½ hours and I was still sad to see it end. Now these things I view more as an emotional effect but there is one more that I would say is a physical feeling, as my male self I don’t like jewelry I don’t even wear a watch as I find they bother me. I the other hand as Susan I love my ring and bracelet as a matter of fact it bothers me if Susan doesn’t have them. Even when I was cautious about going out there were times, I realized I forgot my ring or bracelet and went back home to get them. It is not about the look but the feeling, even now that I have my ears pierced, I have to have earrings in now.

Several of the girls had similar feelings and experiences. What I found interesting is a few of the wives actually said sometimes they tell their spouse to go put on a dress or go out with their girlfriends on the group as they are more relaxed easier going, more carrying in other words a better spouse when they can express this side of themselves. Being able to express or enjoy something you really love does impact your live and the people around you.

It was a wonderful evening with friends. Now we did talk a little about maybe trying to get in person dinners going again in small groups as a few of us have gotten our vaccines, others their first shot and some soon will but others are a ways out so there is still hesitation although we thought maybe small groups 2 or 3 checking out places to see if we could find a place members would feel comfortable but still even then keep the groups down to 6 or less maybe in a month or two.

It was after 9 when we lost our first girl and as always once 1 signed off several did but we still had 7 of us till almost 10 and it was about 10:20 when it got down to just Julie and me. It was nice to get a little one on one time with Julie as I have really missed her while she is down south for the winter.

Well, it was now late and time for me to clean up and get ready for bed. I am looking forward to the next 2 days as I get some Susan time on Thursday and all day on Friday which is nice as this weekend will be no Susan time as I have family coming in on Saturday and leaving Sunday.

Stay safe and healthy and love who you are. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 25, 2021 Posted by | friends, zoom | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tuesday and some Susan time

It is Tuesday and it will be an early day for Susan as I have to be over to see my mom at 6pm to see her and drop of the stuff I bought for her yesterday. Well, I got up at 8 and had breakfast and then started getting ready. I took my time doing my makeup and yes, I used my lavender eye shadow pallet again today but blended it just a little different then the other day. I didn’t even notice the slight difference till I was looking back at the pictures and put them side by side. If you want you can see the other look in my blog from Saturday and compare it to today picture here. Now I used the Morphe eyelid primer in translucent and it really takes just the smallest dot but the shadow sticks to it and looks great all day without creasing, I am very impressed with it. the eye shadow pallet is the Morphe 9L lavendaze artistry palette and they are beautiful vibrant colors. Now they are a little more expensive than drug store brands but I think the quality is a lot better and closer to department store makeup. I was all ready by 10:30 to start my day and yes that included some pictures.

I had no real plans but one thing I did want to do is go to Best Buy. If you follow my blog you know a while back my one laptop stopped working so I bought a new one. Any way I tried to get my old one going and was able to get into a diagnostic screen and it turns out my hard drive crashed so I wanted to see how much it would be to put a new hard drive in and if it was worth it and since it was Susan’s computer, I figured it should be her to find out. If any of you have thoughts on this, I would appreciate impute. I got my purse and I was off I got to the Best Buy at Cascade Station and went in. now I had to stand in line to get up to their repair desk and yes, the advice the young man gave me was probably not worth fixing. Well since I was here, I did walk around and check things out before leaving.

I also went down and checked out Ross Dress for Less and fund a few cute dresses but not in my size. I also went into Nordstrom’s Rack, DSW and Maurice. It was just so nice to be out shopping and walking around. Well as I was shopping, I got a call from where my mom is and yes there is something else, she needs. Now I can go onto her room now so tonight I am going to check and see what all she needs as it is a little frustrating to have them give me things 1 or 2 at a time, but this also means another trip to Costco again today and there is one just a couple miles away so that was my next stop. I got to Costco and went in and I did wander around a little and pick a few things up for me also while I was here. Turns out this was the only place I bought anything. Now as I was leaving, I thought about getting a pizza for dinner tonight but it wasn’t even 2pm yet so I just left. Well on the way home I kept thinking about pizza for dinner and decided later on I would go get one as I do have a Costco about 5 miles from my house.

I got home just a little after 2 and just parked in my driveway and went into my house. I turned on a movie and started working on this blog as I watched the movie. It was 4pm when my movie got over and I was ready to go get dinner. Now as I walked out to my car, I noticed how dirty it was and I have a lot of free car washes at the Toyota dealer so I figured I would run down there and get my car washed first. About half the time I get my car washed here it is as Susan. I got to Toyota and got my car washed and as I was doing this I called ahead to Costco and ordered my pizza. Now I got to Costco and went in to get my pizza and they had no order for me which surprised me so I checked my phone to see if I got the wrong Costco and yes, I did. The only thing I can think of id calling from inside the car wash Google couldn’t locate my location and it turns out there is another Costco on the sane street in Missouri, yes, I called a Costco in Missouri. Well, I ordered my pizza and had to wait for it. it took about 20 minutes and my pizza was ready and I was on my way.

It was a little after 5 when I got home so I turned on the news and ate dinner. It had been a relaxing say as Susan. it was a little after 5:30 and my mom called to let me know she was done with dinner and was looking forward to seeing me which brought me back to reality I am supposed to be over there at 6 to visit with her and drop the stuff she needs off. O git off the phone with her at 5:40 so it would be a rush to clean up, it only takes 5 minutes to get there so that only leaves me 15 minutes to wash all traces of Susan away and change clothes. I took a quick shower and took a quick look and it looked like I got the makeup so I was on my way and got to her place right at 6pm. Now I have to wear a mask while there and stay 6 feet apart. I spent a little over an hour visiting with her before going home for the night. now when I got ready for bed and washed my face again I noticed I did have some traces of lipstick still on which wasn’t an issue as I wore mask but I did have some traces of foundation by my ears and neck but o doubt she noticed.

Now I am looking forward to Wednesday. I have some things to do in the morning so it will be late afternoon before Susan can get ready for her evening zoom meeting with friends. Stay safe and healthy.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 24, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , | 2 Comments

Monday and some more Susan time

Well, I have the week off but still have some things I need to do so I wasn’t able to start my day as Susan till a little after noon. Now I had no real plans but figured since restaurants were open, I would go to Starbucks for a little bit just to get out plus I also need to stop by Costco and pick up a few things for my mom. I started getting ready today and I wanted to try something new as far as contouring. I watched a couple videos as I ate lunch and it showed a different way so instead of doing my foundation all over my face and then doing the concealer under my eyes and the darker contour on my checks I did them in one step. I put the concealer under my eyes and drew lines of foundation on my checks and dark foundation around the edge of my face and just under my check bones and along my jaw line. This is what my makeup looked like before I took my foundation brush and blended it all together. The look when I was done was pretty good although I think the overall looks was a little darker than normal. Now today I used my rose eye shadow pallet I bought on Monday and it is more subtle and maybe better for a daytime look. I finished off my look with my eyebrows and a brick-colored lipstick, in all I was happy with the look.

I was ready by 2pm and ready to go. I got a few pictures and then grabbed my purse and was off to Starbucks. I got to Starbucks and went in and it turns out they are not doing inside seating yet only outside and as it was only 50 out today and raining that was not an option so I got a drink and left. This kind of put a wrinkle in my plans for the day. Now the lipstick o put on today is getting low and I need another one so I decided to go to Walmart at Delta park and get a new on. I got there about 2:30 and went in. I checked out the cosmetic section as I love looking at all the pretty makeup. I finally got to my lipstick it is Maybelline Superstay in the color Ruler.

Now as I left, I noticed all the homeless tents along the road and got thinking about it and decided to take a drive downtown to the old town area we use to go all the time and see what it looks like. It was so sad, rows of tents on the sidewalks where you can’t really walk on them and a bunch of boarded up businesses and a lot of closed businesses. Now I know we have to do something to help the homeless but letting them camp in tents on the side walks is not the answer either. Portland used to be so beautiful but no more, the city really does have to do something before the city falls apart. I probably spent a half hour driving around downtown before heading for Costco.

Now of course it was after 3 so I was going to get caught in rush hour traffic so it would be a slow drive but that was okay, after all I really had no plans. I got to Costco by the airport right about 4 and parked and went in. They were kind of busy but when aren’t they. I didn’t spend too much time here just got what my mom needed and was on my way. Now I thought about getting a bot dog and drink on my way out but decided I was going to stop and get dinner tonight at IHOP.

I drove to the IHOP by Vancouver mall to get dinner, I have gone to this one several times as Susan but it is also the same one, I was taking my Mom to before the virus shutdowns. I did get a picture in the car including one with my eye shut so you can see the eye makeup. now going to a restaurant by yourself seems strange but I think IHOP is one you can go to and not raise to many questions. I went in and got a table. Now there was 5 tables with couples at them, one table of 4 and 2 tables with just 1 person at them. Once at my table I took my ask off and it was so nice to just be out again. I ordered dinner and had a nice relaxing dinner out. It was about 5:30 when I was done and paid my bill and on my way home.

Now as I got home, I noticed my neighbor also getting home she was right a head of me. She is the one I know knows about Susan so I just waved at her and she waved back. I also noticed my neighbors all had their garbage cans out as tomorrow is pickup day. Now I have taken my garbage out as Susan before I go to bed so that is not an issue but yesterday morning before I brought my mom over, I was out pruning some of my bushes in my yard and I had meant to pick them up and put them in my yard recycling this morning and forgot so yes before it got dark Susan put on a coat and gloves and went out in my yard and cleaned things up. I spent about 20 minutes out there and didn’t even think about if my neighbors saw me.

I was back onside a little after and will watch TV till bedtime and work on my blog from today. Now I did text Cassandra and we are talking about maybe trying a dinner for the group looking at Benihana for our dinner. I did call them and they require a reservation which is no problem but they will only do groups of 6 or less. Now I am not sure how many would want to go right now and I guess if we had more then 6 another member could also set up a reservation, well something to think about.

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 22, 2021 Posted by | shopping, Susan Time | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Some Saturday time as Susan

Well, it is Saturday and I once again get to spend some Susan time this afternoon and I am really looking forward to it. I had some things to do early so it was a little after noon that I started getting ready. Now today I took my time as I was once again going for a different look. Yesterday when I was shopping with Jennifer, I picked up a couple new eye shadow pallets and I was looking forward to trying the lavender one. I have been doing browns and greys which I think look good and I am good at blending but I have wanted to try some purples and brighten up my eyes. I once again did my eye makeup first and also did my brows the same as yesterday although a little darker. It was so much fun t try the different look and yes while I was doing my makeup, I was thinking about what to wear today as I do have a couple purple tops and dresses, wanted to match my outfit with my eye shadow. Let me know what you think of this eye shadow on me as it is always nice to get others thoughts. I decided on my black leggings and purple top as I do need to go grocery shopping today. I spent a little over an hour getting ready and enjoyed every minute.

All dressed and yes it was time for some pictures and yes, I tried to get some pictures of my eyes as I do like the color although it was a little harder to blend, will have to work on this as it did take some work to get the brown colors right but that is the fun of makeup. now the purple really did brighten my eyes but it may be a bit much or daytime or going grocery shopping which is the next thing on my list.

I got my purse and was off to Fred Meyers to do my weekly shopping well actually a little more as last weekend with the snow I didn’t go shopping. I got to Fred Meyers and parked and of course got a couple more pictures in my car before going in. I got my cart and started my shopping, now I did have a little more shopping then normal but I also did wonder around a little just to spend more time here as it was my outing for the day. I got all my groceries and dinner for Sunday with my mom plus some snacks, it was fun to be out as Susan again. I do like doing every day thigs as Susan. I spent 30 maybe 40 minutes here shopping before going through the check stand and paying for my groceries. I did stop and get gas also before heading for home.

Well, I got back home and put my groceries away and then did some cleaning to get my house ready for my mom to come over on Sunday for the day. Now it was time to relax and watch a movie. It was a quiet afternoon at home as Susan.

Now at 5 pm it was dinner time and yes, I had stuff I bought today at Fred Meyers for dinner but what fun is that. I decided to make my weekly trip to McDonalds to get something to eat, again something I couldn’t do last week. I grabbed my purse and was off again. I got to McDonalds and there was a line of cars waiting so it would be a little while but that was okay. Soon it was my turn to order and then I got my food and was on my way back home to eat.

I got home and had a nice relaxing dinner and watched TV. Now as I watched TV, I also worked in my blog from yesterdays’ shopping trip with Jennifer which was so much fun. I stayed up way to late as it was after midnight when I called it a night and went to bed, I had finished my blog but left it to post in the morning as I had posted my blog from Wednesday night’s zoom meeting with my friends this morning and I try not to post more than 1 per day.

Now it was time to wash away Susan for the night and go to bed and yes, my eye makeup still looked good. The eye shadow pallet o bought at Morphe turned out to be really good, no signs or creasing and looked just as good as when I put it on. Now of course I also bought an eye shadow base so that may have helped also. It was a good day.

Now I am looking forward to this coming week as I am on vacation, I do have a few things I have to take care of as my male self, including a couple things for my mom but I do hope to get to be Susan at least a little each day. The sad part is the week is broken up such I can’t get my nails done. I will get a lot of Susan time this week though. I also set up our groups zoom meeting and I tried scheduling the same meeting for the next 7 weeks something I noticed you can do but this means it should be the same link, ID and password if it works correctly.

Stay safe and stay happy and thanks for reading my blog about my life and be sure and continue to read my most current blogs to see what is new with my life.

February 22, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , | 3 Comments

Friday Susan time with Jennifer

It is Friday and my vacation actually started today although I had things to do so I really had no plans on being Susan, at least not till Jennifer texted me. Seems she wanted to go to Washington Square and wanted to know if I wanted to meet her for some shopping and something to eat. Well, you don’t have to guess what my answer was. Now this was later in the day so we planned on meeting at 4pm so with traffic I needed to allow at least an hour to get there. I took care of a few things I had planned on doing today the rest will wait toll next week as I wanted to be home by noon so I could take my tome getting ready. Yes, I was really looking forward to this.

I started getting ready about 12:30 and yes, I took my time, again today I did my eye makeup first and then the rest of my makeup. now it does take me longer to do it this way but I imagine I will get quicker at it and it does eliminate the shadow fallout under my eyes from the shadow. I did false eye lashed and tried a new shape for my eyebrows, I saw this picture and wanted to see if I could match it, I think I came close. Let me know what you think of my brows and eyes today.

I was all ready by 2 and was happy with my look for the day. I got a few pictures and then decided to leave and just get there early so I put my laptop in the trunk and was on my way. I figured I could find a Starbuck near by and hope they were open for inside seating like the restaurants. Well, it was a good plan but traffic was horrible and it was 3:45 when I got there. It was good I left early though. I did get a few pictures in my car including this one where I closed my eyes to get a good picture showing my eye makeup. I parked by Nordstrom’s and went in and headed for the food court as that was where we were going to meet. The mall is 1 story except for the food court which is on the second floor so I went up and I thought I saw Jennifer a little way ahead of me although from the back and with masks it is hard to tell so I followed her till I caught up with her and I was right.

It was so nice to be out with her for a few hours of shopping. We talked for a few minutes and then decided to get something to eat before we started shopping and since we were in the food court that was where we ate. I went and got something at Panda Express and I am not sure where Jennifer got her food from but we found a table and sat down to eat and talk. It was so nice to just sit and talk in person while we ate. We sat here for about 45 minutes before we were ready to start our shopping.

We went downstairs and took pictures of each other and yes, we did take our masks off just long enough for a picture. We should have tried to get one together but we both forgot. Jennifer sent me her picture and said I could post it and wanted mine so she could post it in her blog. Turns out she had a blog where she records her outing also but keeps it private just for her. I have encouraged girls to do this so they can look back on their time out, both her and Nicole are doing this. Public or private keep track of your life, call it a dairy, blog, record what ever you want to call it.

Jennifer asked me what I was looking for and really all I needed was some foundation from Nordstrom’s. there are two foundations I like, Maybelline Superstay foundation which is a great foundation for a few hours, it works really well but on my upper lip it breaks down after about 5 hours probably because of my male skin. On the other hand, the MAC Studio fix is probably the best foundation I have used and it looks good all day so this would be my first choice but it also costs 3 times as much as the Maybelline so I use the MAC when I am out all day. Any way we were off to Nordstrom’s for me to get my foundation. we got there and went to the MAC counter and of course we were greeted and right away by a young lady who asked if we needed anything which I did so I told her I needed the Studio Fix in NW25 yes, I know my shade. Now I love makeup and I could spend a fortune on it but I also realize only being Susan a couple times a week I don’t use a lot of makeup.

We left Nordstrom’s and walked down to JC Pennies to look at their dresses and closeout items. Yes, walking around the mall wearing a mask was not as much fun but having Jennifer with me was awesome. Going out as Susan is awesome but having someone with you to talk with makes it so much more fun. We checked out the closeout racks and found some cute things but nothing in our sizes and then we went over to the dress section and looked around. They had some really cute dresses but these were not marked down so neither one of us bought anything. Anyways we were talking and I mentioned I wanted to find an eye shadow pallet of purples to try, I have gotten pretty good with the smokey eye look and the browns, I actually have 4 eye shadow pallets of browns so I really don’t need more eye shadow other then the shades. Well Jennifer said we had to go check out her favorite store called Morphe and they sell you guessed it makeup.

We got down to Morphe and went in and several of the girls greeted Jennifer it by name but that she was back again so I am guessing Jennifer comes here a lot. Well, we were looking at the eye shadow pallets and they had so really pretty colors. One of the girls came over to see if we needed help and we started talking. She showed me a couple pallets with purples and even showed me how pigmented they were on her hand and they really were not that expensive $12 each or 2 for $20 so yes, I bought a Lavender pallet and a rose pallet and I am looking forward to trying them.

We left here and our next stop was Macy’s to check out their clothes. Now they had a huge selection of dresses specifically Prom dresses and they were so beautiful and it got me thinking what it would have been like to got to prom as a girl in one of these beautiful dresses, by the way they stared at $175 and went to $299, yes as a young girl going to prom would be expensive as I am sure its not just the dress but getting the hair, nails and maybe makeup done, but it was fun to think about and no it is not about being a girl but the beautiful dress and look. We had a wonderful time today.

It was about 7 pm now so we walked back down to Nordstrom’s as that is where I parked and said our goodbyes, it was sad to see it come to an end but hopefully we can do it again. I got on my car and made the 40-minute drive home to end my day, thanks for meeting me Jennifer. It was almost 8 pm when I got home and I spent the rest of the evening watching TV till it was time to wash Susan away and go to bed. Now I am looking forward to Saturday and sending afternoon as Susan.

Stay safe and healthy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 21, 2021 Posted by | friends, shopping | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Getting together with my friends online

Well, I have made it to the middle of the week again and that means spending time with my friends online for a while. These weekly meetings have been so wonderful during the shutdowns and helped us keep in touch. I think we all look forward to these few hours on Wednesday nights.

I got home from work and started getting ready I so look forward to this. Now growing up I tried to hide this part of me and deny how I felt. Now the reason I bring this up is I did miss a lot growing up, I was so envious of all the girls in school, the dresses they wore, the makeup, hair and jewelry in my mind they had it all. Now again for me it wasn’t about being a girl but being able to dress and look like them. But I bring this up is a wonder if how I feel getting ready and doing my makeup to spend tome with my friends is how girls felt getting ready for a dance or a date. I spent a little over an hour getting ready and loved every minute or it. I was all ready for my night by 6 so I had time to call and talk to my mom and get some pictures.

I started the meeting just a little before 7 and there were girls waiting. We once again had 12 of us tonight, Jennifer, Melissa, Nicole Danika, Karen, Mallie, Trish, Jeannie, Danielle, Patty Kia and me. It was great all these girls could make it tonight and yes tonight was Kia’s first time joining us which was so nice. I really like it when we get new girls on our meetings and over the last year, we have had a lot of new girls make their first time with our group this way. We had a nice discussion and yes most of it was about the winter storm we just got through. Yes, I still have snow in my yard but the roads are clear now and we can get out. We had a really nice time and everyone was able to be involved.

It was a little after 8 and it was once again time for Jennifer’s question. The question tonight was how big is or wardrobe and how has it changed over the years and for those married or with a significant other how it compares to their partners. Now I am single so it was interesting to hear what the girls with partners said. Now for the ones who have transitioned it is different as they have gotten rid of all their male clothes as they no longer need them and for some, they have different styles and about the same. For those not transitioning there seems to be a desire not to have more girl clothes then their partners I think it is the finding balance in their lives and relationships.

Now for me my wardrobe has changed over the years, when I first started dressing, I can honestly say it was probably stuff I wouldn’t wear out in public and by that, I mean on genetic woman who are young and look like models it looks great but not something that looked good on me but then it was just at home and no one saw so I did indulge myself. Now I will confess somewhere in a box in my spare closet I have the first dress I ever bought, it doesn’t fit any more and is not age appropriate and it does have a rip on the seem but it was the first dress I was able to buy and I just can’t bring myself to get rid of it as it really was my start to dressing. Now when I first started buying clothes it really was seeing what looked good on the models in magazines and ordering them which again as I don’t have a models shape so it really didn’t work out well.

Now once I figured out what my size was or at least close to what my size was it got better. The next big change was when I first started going out even though it was just a couple times a year, I started buying a lot of black or dark clothes as black hides a lot although I really looked the bright pretty colors woman would wear. It did take me a while to get over this and start adding color to my wardrobe and I love it. Yes, now I do have a lot of color in my wardrobe and some of it really bright, pinks, salmon, reds, blues and purple. Now for me yes, my woman’s clothes do out number my male clothes and the same goes for shoes. This was another great question.

We all talked more and yes, a little of what we talked about the vaccine and who has gotten it and when everyone might get it, when we wont have to wear the masks and when things will be back to normal. Now some of us have already gotten our vaccine some their first dose and some still waiting but hopefully it won’t be long for everyone. They also did open dining again last week on a limited basis so things are getting better. It will be so wonderful when we can get together in person and go out.

It was about 9 when girls started to sign off but there were still a few of us that stayed on till almost 9:45 before we called it an evening, it is always sad to see it come to an end. Now I am looking forward to Saturday and next week as I have the week off. I do have some things I need to do during the week but there will be a lot of Susan time though. I hope to do a little shopping and possibly Starbucks. It will be fun but so much better if things were normal. I held my vacation as long as I could and now, I have to use it or lose it. Stay safe and positive.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 20, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Monday and some unexpected Susan time

Well, it is Monday and I get some unexpected Susan time at home of course. I got up this morning with every intention of going to work. I polled out of my driveway and got about 15 feet before I was stuck, the snow was still too deep and I had pushed up a wall of snow in front of my car so no work for me today. I got my car back in my driveway and called work to let them know I wouldn’t be able to make it in. so now I had the full day free at home. I made breakfast and then it was time to get ready for the day again but this time as Susan.

I started my makeup and today I wanted to try something different. I was going to do my eye makeup before my foundation. I have seen videos of this and wanted to try it. They say you get a cleaner, crisp line and no shadow fallout this way so that was my plan for the day. I also used tape from below my eye out to the corner to get that straight crisp line. I also went less dramatic no shadow below my eyes just a little eye liner and I was happy with the way my eyes looked. now with this done I was able to clean all the shadow fallout below my eyes before I did my foundation. now the foundation was a little harder as I had to use a sponge to put it on and a thing brush to go along the eye shadow edge to keep the clean crisp line. Then it was time for my brows, false eyelashes, blush and lips and in all I liked the look. It is more difficult to do it this way and takes a little more time but I think the end result is a little better. If you want the perfect straight eyeshadow line this is the way to do it but I don’t think for an everyday makeup it is worth the effort or time especially if you are just at home

I was all ready for my day at home as Susan by 9am so it will be a full day as Susan. Now today is going to be a Little House on the prairie day. Growing up I never watched this show although I did probably see a couple episodes at least in part but Hallmark is doing a marathon of them all day staring with the original Movie and then starting at episode 1. It was a good show and I enjoyed it, the one thing I did noticed was the family values this show instilled, love of family, love of God, love of country and respect and caring for all and the value of hard work and honesty and pride in one’s self. Something I think our country has lost over the last 50 years, for this reason I would give this show 5 stars.

Now as I did take a few breaks throughout the day to get some picture and also to reflect on my time as Susan. this is my 3rd day in a row as Susan and just being Susan at home and I got to thinking about it and why I do it and enjoy it so much. For years I would dress at home and loved it but this was also back when I only dressed a couple times a month also. Once I started dressing regularly as in once a week and especially once I started going out, I lost that love of dressing at home. Yes, if I was going to dress. I wanted to go out, be seen, be amongst people and maybe interacting with them even if on a small way. I can remember early on in my going out where I would get home from work spend 1 ½ hours getting ready, drive almost 30 minutes to get away from where I live just to spend an hour or so at a Starbucks and then drive 30 minutes home and then the time to clean up and wash Susan away but it was so worth it.

Well over the last 11 months with the virus we have all spent more time than we like at home and yes if I wanted y Susan time it would be mostly at home so I adapted and started dressing just at home and these last 3 days really got me thinking. With the snow too deep for me to get my car out my only option is to dress at home unless I wanted to walk someplace from my home and Susan does not have that type of clothing or shoes. Now I will admit today I thought about not being Susan yes, I really wasn’t motivated to do my makeup but I decided I was going to just to try a different look. Now as soon as I started doing my makeup my mood changed, yes just doing my makeup lofted my spirits and brightened my day and I was so glad I decided to do my makeup. on the end when I was all done and dressed as Susan it was so worth it even though I will just be in my house alone.

Now I tried to figure this out this feeling I had. I have thought about this over the years as I came to grips with this side of me and learned to accept Susan and embrace her side of my life. Now this is just me and how I feel and may or may not be how others feel. Yes, Susan in a major part of who I am and yes Susan is a bigger part of who I am then my male self but no I do not want to transition. Gender is fluid no matter who you are, if 0 is ultra-feminine, 5 is gender neutral and 10 is ultra-macho no one fits on just one number they will have a range with most woman between 2 to 5 and most men between 6 & 9 and what I mean by that is a woman will be range based on what she is doing such as spending the day cleaning the house, going on a first date with a guy she really likes, going dancing at a club with her girlfriends or her wedding day. And same with men, going on a date with a woman they really like or sitting at a bar watching football with the boys. For me my range is a lot wider from 2 to probably 7 with my most comfortable around a 4 or 5 so slightly on the feminine side, no I am not talking about sex or what gender you are attracted to but how you feel on the inside and your outlook on life.

Now over the last few years I will admit Susan has taken on a bigger part of my life and yes if I won the lottery tonight and money was not an issue and I didn’t have to work any more Susan might dominate my life and by that I would spend most of my time as Susan and yes I would have long acrylic nails but I would still need and spend some time as my male self and yes it may only be 1 or 2 days a week. That being said you also have to remember Susan was hid for a lot of years and even now most weeks it is a few hours a couple times a week so it is still a special time. if I was able to spend most of my time as Susan maybe after a few years my male side would need more time a need to express that side also and it might swing back to a more even split. No one knows what the future will bring but I do know for myself Susan will always be a part of me as will my male self as I am not complete without both the only unknown for me is what percentage of my time will be male or female. It has taken me many years to understand this and accept who I am but once I did my life is wonderful. My advice is talk to people, get help to understand who you are and how you feel and if someone tells you that you have to feel one way or another because you are transgender don’t just accept it as we are all different in little ways and in some cases big ways. Be yourself and find out what is right for you.

I spent the day at home and had a wonderful time and now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights Zoom meeting with my friends which yes is very important to me as I find it is very important to stay in touch with friends and family right now. Stay safe and stay happy.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new on my life.

February 19, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A snowy Sunday at home as Susan

Well, it is Sunday morning and I now have 12 ½ inches of snow at my house so it will be another day at home. Now I do need to shovel my driveway so I can get my car out for work tomorrow, I did a little last night as Susan but I wanted to finish it this morning as my male self, as I have said before there are times I like and need to be my male self. my plan was to do this first then take a nice warm shower and then become Susan for the rest of the day. I spent about 45 minutes outside shoveling my driveway and then came in and had breakfast and then it was time for my shower and to start getting ready for my day as Susan. I got my drive cleaned but unless some of the snow melts it is still too deep on the street for me to go anyplace. I ate breakfast and then it was up to take my shower and transform myself into Susan for the day. Now before I got in the shower, I noticed in the mirror I still had on all my eye makeup and lipstick from yesterday, I removed my false lashes and took my shower removing all my old makeup so my face was clean and fresh for today.

I started my makeup for the day and tried a more daytime look for my eyes although I did the false lashes again today. I was all dressed and ready for my day at home today. Now I did get some pictures and even went outside and get a few pictures with the snow in the background, after all we don’t normally get snow and to get so much at once is really unusual.

I went inside and made lunch and sat down to watch TV for the day. Now I did go outside several times throughout the afternoon including a couple times out front of my house. Now with the snow I really didn’t expect to see anyone outside with the weather but there was always the chance and I just wanted out of the house. I wrote my Blog from Saturday as I watched TV and just had a relaxing afternoon.

Now a little after 5 it was time for dinner and I once again walked out front to the street to see how bad it was as it didn’t warm up today. It was icy on the road and I briefly thought about trying to drive down to McDonalds and get dinner but I was afraid my car might get struck. Several years ago, I was going out to meet the group one night when it had snowed and I was all dressed up and got my car stuck on my street and this was before when I was scared to death my neighbors would find out. Well as you can guess I went back inside and decided to just make dinner at home although that might have been a good way for Susan to meet her neighbors face to face. I have come a long way over the last few years to where I am not hiding but I am also not ready to just walk up to someone I know and say here I am as Susan. who knows maybe someday I will get there as several of the girls in our group have come out to people this past year.

I had a nice dinner at home and yes, I have not gone anyplace since I got home Friday afternoon so I have cabin fever already. I spent the rest of the evening just watching movies till bedtime. Now the temperature was supposed to be 37 by 5pm today with rain to melt the snow but by 11pm when I went to bed it was still 30 out and the snow was not melting so it will be an interesting drive to work in the morning but I made the best of my weekend. By the way today is Valentine’s Day so here is hoping you all had a special day today

Stay safe and happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

February 15, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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