Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Happy Independence Day and some Susan time

Happy Independence Day

This is my bog on how Susan spent Independence Day the day we celebrate the birth of our great nation, 146 years ago. Now I try to keep politics out of my blog but not only is this a day I get to spend as Susan but it is a day, we celebrate our country and freedom so if you are offended by this you may want to skip this blog.

I am proud to be an American and I am proud of our great country, I stand for our national anthem and place my hand over my heart for the pledge of allegiance. I truly believe we live in the best country in the world no offence to my friends in other countries. Yes, I have a US flag outside my house I fly with pride. Here are a couple YouTube videos I love and they have special meaning at this time of year, you might want to check them out. one is God Bless the USA by Lee Greenwood, Mike Rowe the one percenters, the other is about the inspiration behind our national anthem the Star Spangle Banner.

Now I had some things to do early in the day and yes one was a BBQ between 10am and 2pm to celebrate the 4th of July, now yes these are my male sides friends so I would not be able to be Susan to later in the day and that was fine with. I got home from my BBQ a little after 2 and started getting ready. Now as I got ready for the rest of my day, I was thinking about what to wear, several of the wives at the BBQ earlier had red, white and blue outfits on and I don’t have anything patriotic for the day something I will have to fix that for next year. I thought back several years when Cristine was alive she always wore red, white and blue for the 4th of July. I was all ready by 3:30 for the day as Susan.

Now it was time to figure out what to do I turned on the TV on to check the Hallmark Chanel and yes, they are doing Christmas movies again, Christmas in July. Now this got me thinking about my mom and not being able to celebrate our countries birth with her, Sundays we spent together and yes, she loved watching the Christmas movies. Well I set up the DVR to record a few and decided I had to go someplace so I figured I would go to Starbucks and write my blog from Saturday. I thought about it and decided to go to the one at Cascade Station by the airport for one reason as they have a huge outside seating area on the east side of the building out of the sun and wind and I wanted to be outside today. I got there about 4:30 and got my drink and found a table outside, I think a lot of people had the same idea as 8 of the tables were taken. I finished my blog, caught up on some e-mails and did a little work and just had a really nice relaxing afternoon. Now before I knew it, it was almost 8pm, I had been here over 3 hours. I put away my computer and was on y way.

I got home and yes watched a couple Christmas movies I recorded.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 5, 2021 Posted by | Holiday, Starbucks | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday Zoom meeting with friends, the last Wednesday night of 2020

It is the last Wednesday of 2020 and I am looking forward to the new year and putting all this behind us. It also means I get to spend a few hours on a video chat with my friends tonight. This is how our group has socialized the last 9 months for the most part. Now this week I got home early which was nice as it gave me time to get ready and enjoy my time transforming myself. Now tonight I really liked the way my eyes turned out especially my eyebrows, I finally got then even and a nice shape and arch. I was ready by 6:15 so I had plenty of time to get some pictures and call and talk to my mom, they had another positive test where she lives so she is locked in her room again for 28 more days which sucks as she just got off the last one on Christmas Day, I will still be bringing her to my house on Sundays though as the isolation is far worse for her and others living there then the virus.

I started the meeting right at 7 and I had 9 girls waiting which was awesome. Well tonight we had our biggest group online yet, we had 21 girls with 20 windows open on the screen, Julie, Jennifer, Melissa, Barb, Cyndee, Danielle, Nicole, Danika, Grace, Chris, Jan & Lynn, Antonia, Kimberly, Jeanie, Kitty, Robin, Stacy, Rebecca, Tori and me. Now it was nice to see so many tonight but it also took longer to catch up with everyone as only one person can talk at a time. I often worry with so many some girls may feel left out as it can be hard to get in and talk. Well, we all chatted till a little after 8 when a few girls signed off. It was now time for Jennifer’s question of the night, and it was a little more on the lite side, Jennifer actually sent out an e-mail to give us all a heads up so we could plan for it. The question was this, what order do you do to get ready and how many products you use. now I pretty much do the same order every time, but I do mix up what I use different colors or sometimes a little more or less depending on if it is a daytime or evening out and where I am going so, I will use tonight. By the way I guessed 15 different items I use. today before I wrote this blog, I took a few pictures of what I used last night.

Once I have shaved and cleansed my face is where I will start, and I will number then to keep track and see how close my guess was. 1st is oil of Olay moisturizer, 2nd primer, 3rd is foundation and I actually use 2 different shades, a light shade 130 for the center of my face and a darker for the outer edge and my neck so 2 products but 1 step. 4th is contouring and again 2 products, both foundation sticks in 2 shades 330 for along my nose to narrow it and 360 for below my cheeks and my jaw line below my ears to shape my face. My 5th step is concealer below my eyes to brighten them, the top of my nose for definition and yes, I use this also for my eyelids instead of foundation there, items to left.

Now with the base on my face it is time to make it all pop so next my 6th step is a bronzer and I do an E shape from above my eyes on me checks where I contoured and then my jaw line so softens the contour out and as warmth to my face. My 7th step is blush on the apples of my cheeks; my 8th step is highlighter just above my cheeks on the outer edge to the outer corner of my eyes. The tip of my nose and my cupids bow to make my lips look plumper. My 9th step is a translucent face powder to set it all and catch any fallout from my eye shadow, yes, I put a lot right below my eyes. Now it is time for my eyes the most fun and the part that takes the longest.

My 10th step is my eyebrows, I brush them and draw/fill them in, and this is where I have a hard time getting them the same shape and height and tonight, they were almost perfect. The 11th step is eye shadow and yes, I can use 4 to 8 shades, yes, I love doing my eyes. I start with a dark brown/black under my eyes sometimes from the middle out (daytime) or the inner corner (evening), I also take it up to my brow bone and blend in a little to soften it. Now I use a silver, (sometimes gold or other light shimmer shade) on the inner corner of the lid and to the center and blend it up. Then I use a dark brown on the outer part under the brow bone, medium brown on center under brow bone and a light brown inner part below brow bone. Sometimes a plum on brow bone outer edge and last a cream color on outer part of eye right up to my eyebrow, sometimes one with a shimmer for evening, so yes tonight was 7 shades. If you look at my eyeshadow pallet to left the far left is below my eyebrow, the next 3 to right is under my brow bone, 2nd from right is on my brow bone and I forgot to include the silver and dark brown/black as those are single eye shadows. My 12th step is eye liner, and this is also a multi-step process. I have a black eyeliner pencil that I use on my lower lash line (outer half for daytime, all the way into the inner corner for evening), sometime the upper waterline below my lashes for a more dramatic look. Then a gel pen above my upper lashes (not always for daytime) and sometimes a winged eyeliner.

My 13th step is Mascara and sometimes for an evening out if I want a dramatic look I do false eye lashes. My 14th step is my lips and yes, I line my lips first then my lipstick and I have several shades I like to wear as it is a good way to change up your looks. Sometimes I will use a darker red on the outer corners and lip line and then a brighter red in the center and blend then together. Don’t do this that often as it is hard to get to look right and really doesn’t show up to well in pictures. With all this done I brush off the face powder. My 15th and last step is setting spray and again this I don’t always do, if I am going to be Susan for just a couple hours, I will skip this but if longer then that I use the setting spray and that completes my makeup look.

Now I put my earrings on, bracelets, ring and sometime a necklace. I get dressed, shoes and last my hair to complete Susan’s transformation. It seems like a lot of steps and products (20 if I use all), but I love doing it and I love the look and it just makes me feel good. People ask me why I do this and who I am doing it for, and it is just as simple as I do it for me, no one else. I love this part of my life.

It was interesting to hear what the other girls do and the order they do them in. we also discussed what products we use and what we like. It was a great question and a fun topic to ed 2020 with. This is my last blog of 2020 and is my 154th blog of the year marking being Susan at least part of the time on 154 days this year which is a record. With that being said I want to wish everyone a Happy New Years and me 2021 be your best year ever. Stay safe and stay healthy.

Thank for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

Happy New Year’s everyone!


December 31, 2020 Posted by | Holiday, Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday, July Fourth as Susan

Happy July Fourth, to quote a line from a movie “today we celebrate our Independence Day”. It is 244 years since our country declared Independence and set fourth our country. We have had some bad things in our past, but we have grown and over came them and today we live in one of the best and freest countries in the world. I am not saying we cannot do better on some things as there is always ways to improve but we can not erase things from our past that we don’t like and condemn people because they were not perfect in every way, we all have flaws. Now I know some may disagree with this but remember we all have good and bad in us. Now all I have to do is look back at my own life.

When I was young, I thought I was broken a freak because of who I was, I didn’t understand the feeling I had. Why I had the desires to wear makeup, or dresses or be feminine and I knew I was the only one in the word this way. I hid it very well and when needed I lied about it and I probably said things about other people that were not nice trying to hide who I was and take people attention off me and focus it on them. Now I am not trying to justify what I did as it was wrong and I do regret it as no one should be made fun of or picked on, it is something I am not happy about doing. But I did learn from it and I would hate for people to judge me just on that. As I learned more about how I felt and found out I was not alone it did make it easier. It has been a long journey for me to where I am now, and I still have a way to go as we never stop learning and growing. But I look back at my life and all of it, the good and the bad has helped me become the person I am and I would not change any of it or erase any part of my life and I feel the same about our country. We need to remember and teach the good and the bad, so people learn from it. So happy Independence Day.

Well I slept in till 9 this morning as I am sure people in my neighbor hood will be shooting fireworks off till after midnight and that will keep me up late. Now again I know people don’t like the noise but I look at it as it is 1 or 2 nights a year and I can get a little less sleep so others can celebrate with fire works as it is not all about me. I started getting ready and I did a dramatic eye look although no false eye lashes this week. I did go with a b rick red lipstick as it is better for the day and I will be going to Panda Express for dinner tonight, kind of my Saturday routine as I have to get out of my car and go to the door to order. I did pick another pair of earrings to wear today 2″ silver hoops that sparkle, I actually have 4 pairs I haven’t worn yet. Now it was time to start my day.

I got a few pictures as I do like to have something to remember my time as Susan, I really think it helps me to keep a record of this part of my life. Now I went downstairs and watched a little TV. Now it is a nice sunny day and going to be in the mid 70’s which is perfect. I decided to go out in my yard once again and prune my grape plants, they really grow like weeds. I spent about a ½ hour out in my yard as Susan before coming back inside. I went back inside and watched a movie, Independence Day, I know I watched it a few weeks back, but I figured it was an appropriate movie for today. I also started on my blog for today.

It was about 5 when I got my purse and headed to Panda Express to get dinner. I got there and parked and noticed they did not have the door blocked to keep people out. they are still doing just take out still, but it is like it use to be you go in and order at the counter and then carry it out. now I have gone here for years but have never gone inside as Susan. now I had a choice to make facemask or o facemask. Now there was another couple in there and they were older and wearing masks, so I went ahead and put mine on trying not to mess up my makeup. Now the funny thing is the first thing I thought of was I could have worn my bright red lipstick today. It is a little different as before I only had contact with the person at the door taking orders and the one filling the orders now, I would be inside at the counter where all the employees would see me. Now I am not worried about that but as I said I have come here for years as my male self and some of the employees have been here for a while and have seen me in my male side. I went in and yes one of the ladies behind the counter I have seen many times as my male self but with my mask covering the lower part of my face, I doubt anyone would recognize me. I got my food and then came back home to eat.

Now the rest of the night I watched TV my normal shows, 2 hours of the six million dollar man, 2 hours of Bionic woman and I will record Buck Rodgers as about 9 I could hear people shooting off fireworks and by 10:30 it sounded like a war zone outside. It will be loud till after midnight, and I can see the fireworks above the houses. No one on my street is shooting they off but one street up they are going wild so I will go stand outside later and watch them. Again, when I was young, I was one of the ones setting off fireworks and I do like them, and I get a free show from other people. Last year I went down to the fort to watch the show with Julie and Trixie of course we were our male selves and not Julie and Susan. over the years I have met some awesome people as Susan, and they are some of my closest friends really more like family and they know me both as Susan and my male self, something I would have never thought possible. I really do miss spending time with them.

I spent about 30 minutes outside watching the fire works 1 block over and then it started to wind down, so I went back inside. You could still hear them every few minutes but not like earlier. I did get a couple pictures outside, but they are a little dark. It was about 11:30 when I went back inside and finished my blog for the day. I will head up for bed about midnight and wash my makeup off and get ready for bed and hopefully by that time the fire works should have died off enough to go to bed. It has been a good day and a Happy 4th of July.

Stay safe and happy.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 5, 2020 Posted by | Holiday, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Labor Day, little Susan time early

Happy Labor Day everyone, I hope you have a safe and happy holiday weekend. Okay first thing my nails are driving me crazy, I can’t tell you how much I miss my acrylic nails. Now I know part of the issue is my nails are thin from having and removing the acrylic but they just keep breaking, cracking and getting little rough spots on the end where I have to keep filing them shorter. A few are so short I have trouble filing them and yet they still crack. They look bad and feel bad. I really need to go to the nail salon but my time is limited and I really do want to give them a chance to grow out. I really do notice women’s nails more now as I am so jealous especially when I see long pretty red nails. Don’t get me wrong I love long nails but there is just something about a red color on nails that looks beautiful, yes red is my favorite color. Well on with the blog.

As I said with my parent’s health issues it is really hard for me to get out and especially go anyplace to far from home as I keep waiting for a call which I get a few times a week but so far nothing to serious. The other thing is my brother is coming to town more now which is nice but he stays with me so I always have to put Susan away now, for the last several years Susan has been spread all over my house. This weekend was no exception as he came up Friday evening and left Sunday late afternoon so there was n o chance to get Susan time yesterday for my Sunday evening out. But there is still a little bright spot as today is Labor Day and as a holiday I have it off although my family and friends think I am working so I have a few hours in the morning and I am going to take advantage of it.

I got up at 6 am and started getting ready as my plan is to go to Starbuck, the one a little farther from my house that I have also been going to as my male self for a couple hours and then go to a couple stores not to far away and do a little shopping, maybe grab an early lunch and then finish it up at the Starbuck’s by my house. It took me about 1 ½ hours to get ready this morning, shower shave, makeup and dressed. It took a little longer as I am a little out of practice also I wanted to try something new I saw online. As you know from my last blog I had bought a new foundation that was a little to dark / orange for me so what to do with it. I had seen a YouTube video of a lady who mixed a little foundation in her body cream so I decided to give it a try. It actually does work really well although a little tricky to get right. I think my mistake was doing 1 leg at a time as I think a got a little more foundation on my left leg so it tools a little work to even it out but my legs look awesome, smooth and tan, really tan so I did the same to my arms. I think I have found a use if I ever get the wrong foundation again. It was about 7:30 when I left home and got to Starbucks a few minutes later, yes not the one by my house but still less than a mile away, I actually have 4 Starbucks (one in a store), a Peets coffee and a BlackRock coffee all within a mile of my house.

Now I have gone to this Starbucks a few times as Susan and 4 or 5 times as my male self and they are never busy inside as they have a drive through. Kind of funny as this one is half again as big as the one by my house that does not have a drive through. Any way they have never been busy inside as everyone goes through the drive through. I think the most I have seen sitting inside is 6 or 8 so being an early morning on a holiday I figured. Well I was wrong when I got there, there were probably 15 people inside at tables. I went and ordered my drink and then got my table and computer out. Now even with the drive through people still came in and got drinks to go. I guess Starbucks is the place to go in the morning. I did take a quick selfie in the car before going in. now they were busy most of the time I was here a few times it got down to maybe 8 other people but never less than that. I stayed here till a little before 1 before leaving and going shopping. It still seams funny as I have a day to sleep in and I get up early to get some Susan time in. By the time I left here there were 25 to 30 people inside, only 12 small table open.

My first stop was Target as I wanted to look at their makeup and see if I could get a Maybelline foundation that better matches my skin. The last one I bought I did as my male self so it was pretty much grab and go. I am still not comfortable buying Susan stuff as my male self. It was a little after 10 and I was surprised they were not busier. I took my time looking at all the makeup as I really do enjoy looking at all the stuff. After that I went and picked out a warm beige color foundation and a darker foundation stick for contour and then it was up to the checkout. My next stop was Burlington coat to look at shoes as I have found some cute ones here before but no luck today. My final stop was Walmart and really here I just looked around, clothes and makeup and even some electronics. It was about 11:30 when I decided it was time for lunch.

I drove to the Wendy’s I was going to, haven’t been there in probably a month. I went in and yes still all ladies working here, a couple times I have been here when there was a male working but never more than 1 at a time and not very often. They were not busy at all as I had the place to myself. I got my meal and went and sat by the TV so I could watch golf, long drive competition. An older couple came in and they sat at the table next to me. The man accidently spilled his pop while he was onloading the tray of food. While he was getting another drink and telling them about his spill the lady asked me what I was watching as it looked like golf so I explained it was a log drive competition and we chatted a little. It was kind of nice. I left here about 12:30 and headed for the Starbucks by my house to finish out my day as I really only have till about 2. I got there and they also were a little busy 4 people at the tables outside and 14 at tables inside. There were a couple tables by the window so I set up my computer and went up and ordered. Usually the window seats are open as in the summer you get a lot of sun so warm and bright on the computer screen and in the winter a little cool. One of the things I like about the other Starbucks it the floor plan is just the opposite so at least you don’t get the bright sun through the window. I ordered my drink and then sat down and played on my computer including writing this blog. It still amazes me how busy they are during the day as there was always a steady stream of people coming and going. I stayed here till 2 before heading home to clean up and go back to my male life.

Not sure when Susan will, get out again as brother and other family are planning on coming up over the next couple weeks again. I am guessing if I do get out it will be a spur of the moment opportunity. Thanks for reading and be sure and see my most recent blog to know what’s new.

September 3, 2018 Posted by | Holiday, Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Super Bowl Sunday at the Escape

Super Bowl Sunday is here and our group s going to the Escape to watch the game. Now I am not a big football fan but it is more about being out with my friends. The game starts at 3:30 but Cassandra was planning on being there by 1. Now I had things I had to do Sunday morning so I didn’t even get home till Susan Miler on Super Bowl Sunday (1)about 12:10 so it was a rush to get ready. Now I knew what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my makeup it went a lot quicker. I was on my way by 12:50 so it was one of my faster times getting ready.

I got to the Escape about 1:15 which was good as there were all kinds of parking right in front, one of the reasons I wanted to get there early. Turns out I was the first of our group to get here. Cassandra and Amber arrived just a few minutes after I got there. Now the 2 big tables were reserved so we pulled 3 of the small tables together. Now we really don’t know how many will show up.

I ordered lunch which was really breakfast as the Escape does breakfast all day. Now other people started to show up as it got closer to the game but from our group it was just us 3 and I was beginning to wonder if we would have many girls out. Now I took the time to update my blog from Saturday night when we went to Harvey’s while Amber and Cassandra played pool. By 3 pm it was starting to get busy and a few more of our group showed up.

By game time we had a good turnout, Bambi, Kris, Laura m, Laura H, Michelle, Sophie, Kate, I know I am missing someone as I think we had 11 here. Now the bar was packed probable 40 to 50 people here but the funny thing was there were maybe 4 men and the rest were woman. it is really something to see so many woman cheering for a football game. The first half of the game was really one sided. The second half went to the other team which tied it up right at the end and went on to win. They set a record as no team in a Super Susan Miler on Super Bowl Sunday (2)Bowl game has come back from so far behind to win. It really was a good game and that comes from someone who doesn’t follow or watch football.

It was amazing how fast the day went by. Soon the game was over and the bar was a little quiet as most people left as soon as the game was over. A few of the girls stayed to play pool after the game but as I have to work Monday I called it a night. It was about 7:45 when I left. wow the day went by fast. I was here 6 1/2 hours and it felt like just a couple. I guess time does fly when you have fun. It has been a good weekend.

Now I am looking forward to Wednesday night and going out to dinner with my friends.

Thanks for reading

February 7, 2017 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Holiday, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Halloween 2016

Okay it is not actually Halloween but the Saturday before and our group is going out to celebrate Halloween. I have been looking forward to tonight for weeks, this has always been one of my favorite holidays. It use to be being Susan was my costume a chance to be who I was but for the since 2009 I have been doing female costumes and I love it. Now I had a really cute costume for tonight. The plan was to meet at the Escape at 6 as they were showing the movie Rocky Horror Picture show at 7 and then Karaoke at 9. Well I started getting ready early as I was excited for tonight. I also wanted to do my makeup different to match my costume. I actually did some searching online till I found a picture of the look I was going for. I even did false eye lashes on both the upper and lower lids which took a little work. Now I am guessing you are all interested in what I chose for my costume, well I will tell you in a moment.

I was all ready by 5:20 so I figured I would leave early and take my computer till Susan Miller Halloween 2016 (1)others showed up. I got to the Escape a little after 5:30 and had to snap a couple selfie in the car as I thought my makeup turned out really good and yes there will be more pictures to come. Not sure if you can tell my costume from this picture or not but the next one you will.

Now as I said I was early so I was the only one in a costume here yet. Now there was a big group here watching the World Series and yes I watched some if it and the Cubs lost again. Now I was waiting to see who would be the first to show up. Cristine and Karen showed up a little after 6 so I put my computer away and took it out to my car. I have never met Karen before as she lives down by Salem and this is only her second time coming to Portland. It was nice to meet her and get to know her.

Cassandra and Peggy were the next two to show up, it was so great to see Peggy again and she had on one of Cassandra’s wigs and looked so cute. It was a wonderful surprise. Now it was not busy yet so I had to have Cassandra get a picture of me in my costume so here it is. And by the way Cassandra and I ended Susan Miller Halloween 2016 (3)up with the same idea although they were slightly different in look. I actually thought more would have his costume as I picked it based on the movie they were showing. It was such a cute costume and I actually had several people tell me I could come clean their houses anytime so I guess I have another job opportunity if I need one. I must admit my legs looked awesome in fishnet stockings.

It was a little before 7 when others started to show up, Julie and Trixie showed up and they had matching costumes, it was so cute and they looked great as Skeletons. Laura and Lisa, Charlene and her wife who I got to meet tonight, Melissa and her wife and Kim so we had a good turnout tonight and of course Peggy brought candy so I will have to go to the gym tomorrow. It was good to see Kim again and talk with her it has been a couple years since I have seen her.

Susan Miller Halloween 2016 (2)Well the movie started and we watched it as we talked, well probably more talking then watching. It was turning out to be a really fun night. Diane, Sasha and Rose also showed up. Now they had a costume contest and I made it through the first round so I was happy but then in the second round we had to dance which I am not a dancer but I made it through to the top 5 but that was as far as I got which was fine as I was having fun. Julie and TSusan Miller Halloween 2016Trixie won first prize $50 and Laura got second and won $20 and I will admit they did have really good costumes.

Now there were some other good costumes here tonight not just in our group. Karaoke started and it was good, Victoria also showed up later alter the dance. Now I am still not use to the false lashes as I could see them when I looked up it seemed there was a darkness above my eyes. But they really did look awesome.

Now during the Karaoke they would have breaks for Dancing and even though I am not a dancer Peggy did get me out on the dance floor a few times and I actually had fun. I am still not a good dancer but it was fun. Although dancing in 4” heels was not that easy on the feet. It was a really fun night. Of course I had to get pictures with my friends. I wish I had thought of getting a picture with Charlene. I will have to make sure I do next time she is in town. I want to thank all my wonderful friends for such an awesome evening.

I stayed out till almost 12:30 before I left. it was sad to see the night come to an end.

Me and my wonderful friends, How did I Miss Cassandra and Julie?

Kim & Susan Halloween 26 Lisa & Susan Halloween 26 (1) Peggy & Susan Halloween 26 (1)

Sasha & Susan Halloween 26 Susan & Diane Halloween 26 Sophie & Susan Halloween 26

Susan & Laura  Halloween 26 Susasn & Victoria Halloween 26 Trixie & Susan  Halloween 26

October 30, 2016 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, halloween, Holiday | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Happy Valentine’s Day with my friends

Well it is Valentine’s Day and I wish all my girlfriends here a happy Valentine’s Day. Now as I said the next week or so I will not get much time for Susan unless I get lucky which I did tonight. I found I had a few hours tonight and I figured what better way than to spend it with my best friends as a couple of them were going to the Escape Bar and Grill, which is on 90 and Sandy in Portland. They were meeting there between 7 and 7:30. Now being Valentine’s Day it had to be a day of red so I got all dressed and I wore my red dress this is an old picture of me in the dress but I wore my brown wig I got for my Wonder woman costume.

I got to the Escape by 6:30 and I brought my computer so I would have something to do while I waited for the rest to show up but Cristine was already there. I did take care of some e-mails and other things waiting for my food. Michele showed up next followed by Cassandra. We weren’t sure how many would be out but it would still be a fun night. Dan and Bianca showed up, it was great to see them out again and get to talk with them. Bob and his girlfriend also made it out tonight and it has probably been 2 years since we have seen him out. We met him several years ago when we were going to Easy Street which closed several years ago. Always good to see him again.

Laura also showed up actually both Laura’s so we had 2 Laura’s and 3 Michelle’s here tonight. Cassie and Monica and a couple others girls showed up so we had a good group maybe 13 or so. Cassandra of course had her computer set up in the corner and was on Paltalk chat with her web cam going. I got to chat a little bit on it and it is fun I just have a hard time keeping track of all the conversations going on but I may set up an account and try it. Cassandra loves it and says it is a blast.

Now they had Karaoke here tonight and that is always fun and some of them that sang were really good. It was a fun way to spend an Evening even though I couldn’t stay out to late. I left about 11:30 but had a great time.

Happy Valentine’s Day! And Thanks for reading.

February 15, 2015 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Holiday | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Holiday party 2014


Well tonight is our Holiday party that Julie and Trixie are hosting for the second year at Trixie’s house. They are such wonderful people and I am lucky to count them as friend or should I say family as that is more how I feel about them and the friend I have in the group. Well I wore my red and black dress tonight as I wanted to look my best as I knew the other girls would also have on beautiful dresses. It is funny how I can get so excited about how I look and what I wear as Susan, I can see why woman can get caught up in a completion to look the best and that can be okay as long as you keep it all in friendly completion which we all do. And I was right there were so many pretty dresses tonight and it is always so fun to see all the girls dressed up.

I started getting read early something my male side would not do and spent extra time on my makeup to look my best. I was ready and on my way by 6:15 as the party started at 7 and my timing was perfect as I was walking in the door of Trixie’s right at 7. There were already about 10 girls there and I was right all had on beautiful dresses and looked great so I guess we all won the contest to look the best. The first thing I did was to get out my camera and start taking pictures as I wanted to do my best to get a picture of everyone who came to the party.

Well right from the start I had to get a picture of Julie and me, she also had on a really pretty dress as you can see and yes turns out my dress was shorter which I had to remember all night long. Isn’t our hostess just lovely?

The house was lovely inside, so beautifully decorated and there was so much delicious food out. I got a little to eat and then with my camera in hand set out to get pictures. In all I took almost 50 pictures and I hope I got everyone. This also gave me a chance to walk around and talk with the girls.

Now these types of home parties are wonderful for that as you can get a chance to talk and get to know each other better. It is funny as Julie and I were talking in the kitchen for a long time about that. So many of these girls I consider my closest friends and yet I don’t really know a lot about them. Some, most I have never even seen in male mode.

Julie and I wondered what each would be like in our male side, would we be different, act different and what about all the other girls here, how would they be? Now we both agreed we would like each other and everyone else, either way and most likely we would talk about the same things we do now. I can just see a bunch of guys sitting around talking about makeup tips, nails and nail polish color and dresses.

Now this got me thinking about myself and the differences and there are differences but not the way most would think. Probably the biggest difference I jewelry, as a man I hate jewelry, I don’t even like wearing a watch, but as Susan I don’t feel right without bracelets and a ring and sometimes a necklace and if they didn’t leave marks on my ears earrings. Yes I want to get my ears pierced but not sure how I would handle it when I am not Susan, as I said in my male life earrings don’t interest me. Now this may not seem like the biggest difference to everyone but I classify it that way because there is really no explanation for this one. The other differences I can explain.

Now as Susan I am way more relaxed and yes more comfortable as Susan and I am more outgoing as Susan. As my male self I have an introvert personality, I keep to myself and I don’t let people get real close to me and although I wouldn’t call Susan an extrovert but she is a lot more social and loves going out with friends and meeting people. Now these may seem like a really big difference but in fact it is because of the way I live. In my male life I am always worried people will figure out about my crossdressing and how they would react. As Susan I don’t really worry about this as I know people realize I am a crossdresser. I wonder if others feel the same way.

Okay one more picture, this is Victoria and me, she had on a pretty long green dress. I got a chance to talk with Brenda for a while about Diva Las Vegas. She is not sure she will be able to go this year which is a shame. I still haven’t heard for sure I can go but as of now I am planning on it, I figure at the very least I can go for most of it.

Kim also was able to make it for a little while, she had on this beautiful blue skirt with a black top and chain belt, she looked beautiful as always. It was such a fun night and it went by so fast. I had planned on leaving at midnight but before I knew it, it was 12:30 I thanked Julie and Trixie for a lovely time and for all they did.

Now I was giving Rose, Cloe and her boyfriend Michael rides home as they are not that far out of my way. It is nice to have others in the car to talk with for those late night drives home. What a wonderful way to end a wonderful year. Thanks again Julie and Trixie

May you all have a Happy and safe New Year!

December 28, 2014 Posted by | Holiday, Party | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The last Friday of 2014

Wow it I hard to believe that 2014 is almost over, I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas and will have a safe and happy New year! It is always fun this time of year with family and friends and I find it a good time to look back over the year and see what went well and what didn’t, the good and bad shall we say. Now on my Susan side this is a little easier as I have so many wonderful pictures and of course my blog I can look back on, the reason I started my blog. I can look back on my blog and see the days I was Susan and read about it, my online diary which I share with all of you. Now this year was one of my biggest as Susan as by the end of the year Susan will have been out 113 times this year. Wow that represents almost 1/3 of the year of course most were just parts of the day, maybe a few hours but still there is no denying Susan is a major part of who I am and my life.

My goal is to get out twice a week as I feel that is a good balance between both sides of me. Now I know that I would not be where I am and who I am without the support of all of you my family here online and of course the people I have met in person so that you all. Now if you don’t have or want a blog I would still encourage you to keep some form of diary of your life and include some pictures as it is important to see how you have grown over the years as this is a big part of who we are and we should embrace this side of us as without it we would not be who we are today. One tip though remember whatever you put online never truly goes away. You can see all of my pictures on my Flickr page going back several years, some of the older ones are not as good.

Well as the title says it is the last Friday night of 2014 and it really has been a great year for both Susan and my male self and I am looking forward to more of the same next year. I started getting ready at 5 tonight as I wanted to be out a little early as it has been a busy week and I am tired today so it will not be a late night tonight. I got to Sweetehome at 6:45 and I wore my cute little blue dress I wore to Harvey’s Comedy club a few weeks ago. Cristine was just getting there so we walked in together and of course Chris was there as here gets here about 5 on Fridays, he doesn’t have to go home and change and put on makeup.

Well I got out my computer as I had a few things I needed to do, one of which is getting the list going for our group’s next trip to Harvey’s comedy club. This is always a fun night out and I hope we will have a good turnout. We have been going to Harvey’s once a month for several years now and they have been so wonderful and supportive of our group over the years. I think they look forward to our coming there almost as much as we do. It is awesome that there are people and businesses out there that don’t discriminate and treat everyone as a valued customer and a valued member of society. As a matter of fact most businesses are this way. I often get asked online about nails salons and what ones are TG friendly in case you didn’t get it from my blog and pictures I love long pretty nails and going to the nail salon, having acrylic nails would be the one thing about Susan would do all the time if I could as a matter of fact my toes have been painted for 8 years now with the exception of maybe 20 to 30 days. Now I do have my favorite nails salons Dream nails in Vancouver and Glamorous nails Beaverton, both are awesome and do a wonderful job but I have gone to many nails salons over the years and have always been treated well at all of them. Most don’t care who you are other than a customer plus if you get good service give them a shout out on yelp.

I think how we present ourselves when we are out make a difference in how people react to us and treat us. If we do our best to be proper ladies, are respectful, and genuine in who we are and are not looking or expecting problems that is how people will see us and react. Okay a little store about a friend, she is very nice but when she goes out she expects to have issue, you could almost say she is looking for them and she almost always finds them. Her outlook is the glass half empty type and she is working on this. I on the other hand am the glass half full and that is how I look at things when going out and for the most part that is how I find things. Now I am not saying there will never be problems and you should always be a where of where you are and who is around you no matter how you are dressed good safety advice. But I truly believe that most people are decent and will react to you how you react to them especially on a one on one basis and once you get to talk with them they will see there is nothing wrong if you come across that way.

Well I ordered dinner as they had their chicken breast special which was awesome as always. Now Laura Hill showed up it has been a while since she has been to Sweethome, lots going on in her life right now so it was great to see her. It is amazing how relaxed she seemed, all of us actually when we get to express this side of us. It really is therapeutic in a way. When we don’t get to be who we are the stress builds up and I know for someone who is not TG may not understand that but if you imagine something you really like and then take it away you kind of get the picture. I get asked every once in a while if I could ever stop being Susan and I know a lot of girls would say no, for me and I think most the honest answer would be yes and by that mean if my life depended on it I could stop. I would not be happy about it, I would always be thinking about it and the longer I went without Susan I would think about it more and more and I would not be happy and would be really stressed out which is not healthy either. But luckily my life does not depend on my stopping and as we live in a free country I can live how I want. It is funny as I have less stress, look younger and am in better health then most of my none TG friends of whom some are younger than me, Susan is my fountain of youth. Any way it was nice to talk with Laura Hill for a while. Now you may be asking why I am so formal with her full name and that is easy as Laura Michaels also came out tonight so we had 2 Laura’s so at our table we had Chris, Laura M, Laura H, Me and Cristine

It was a fun night and we enjoyed good conversation and of course Chris and Laura H played some pool and did well. They are still getting use to the new pool table as it is a competition table and I guess the balls roll faster and the pockets are just a little smaller. I have yet to play on it so maybe next Friday I will.

Now as it got later Karaoke started and of course Chris and Laura H both sang and did great. The bar was busy and of course the other group was there and they had a really good turnout. I got several compliments on my on my dress, Michelle from the other group told me how cute it was which always makes me feel god. Funny I never really think about compliments when I am in male mode and really wouldn’t care if someone told me my pants or shirt looked real nice but as Susan I love this and actually put a lot of thought into what I wear and how I look.

The karaoke was good as always even those who are not that good had fun and that is what counts. It was almost 11:30 and I just could not make it any more so I paid my bill and said goodbye to everyone. I will see most of them tomorrow at our Holiday party that Julie and Trixie are hosting so I will have one more chance to be Susan before the end of the year. Unfortunately I will not make it out New Year’s Eve with my friends as I have to work late that day and very early New Year’s Day.

Wow I guess I got a little long winded with this blog so if you read this far thanks.

May you all have a safe, healthy, prosperous and Happy New Year!

December 27, 2014 Posted by | Holiday, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

New Year’s Eve 2013

Wow it is hard to believe that it is the end of 2013 already, where has the year gone. This has been a wonderful year for Susan in so many ways. I have grown so much this past year as Susan and she has become a big part of who I am. I have gotten out on a regular basis actually I think I made it out 106 times this year or at least that is how many blog posts I made this year. I have made so many awesome friends and I have a wonderful girlfriend who I share with my male self, life is wonderful for both sides of me but then again this blog is about Susan so let’s get back to her.

Well I knew some of the girls were going out to Sweethome so even though I had to work New Year’s Day I just had to go out for a little while at least. Actually Heather one of the Karaoke group had told me she was going and was going to wear a dress, heels, makeup and do her hair for New Year’s so I just had to go and get a picture with her. Yes I love being in pictures and for special night I can remember to get picture. This is Heather on the left, me in the middle and Lynn on the right.

Now I chose to wear my red dress as I don’t get much of a chance to wear it plus as you can see I can do a good job of creating breast and cleavage with this dress and yes it is a little tight which helps. I think that helps make the feminine look.

Well I got to Sweethome a little after 7 and Chris and Christine were already there. Now there was a new bartender well maybe not new but just one we hadn’t met yet but he was awesome and treated us great. Well I ordered dinner as I had worked late so I was hungry and we watched the end of the Portland Trail Blazer basketball game and believe it or not a couple of the woman there watching the game made more noise and cheered harder than most of the men so it just goes to show you don’t have to be male to love sports.

Well it wasn’t long and more girls started to show up starting with Teresa. She was on her way to another party but stopped in for a couple hours to spend some time with us which was awesome. I just had to get a picture with her plus I wanted one to send to Cassandra and Peggy as they couldn’t make it tonight and I wanted them to feel they were still with us in spirit, one of the great things about a cell phone is you can take a picture and send it in a text and post to your Facebook page in a matter of seconds. I had a chance to talk with Teresa for a while which was so nice. It is funny how much Susan loves to sit around and chat about almost anything.

Well Laura, Jan, Lynn and Petra also showed up so we had a small but fun group. I figured with New Year’s being on a Tuesday night we wouldn’t have a big turnout especially after having a good turnout Friday night and also for the Holiday party we had on Saturday night. I think New Year’s is a bigger thing when it falls on a Friday or Saturday night.

It was great to have a chance to spend some time with my friends and even though I knew I wouldn’t make it till midnight it would be an awesome way to end the old year. Well it looked like the Karaoke group was going to have a good turnout as they had a lot of their people there earlier than normal. It is funny as we have made so many good friends with their group as they have made us feel so welcomed over the last year in a half, wow it is hard to believe we have been coming here that long but it was in August 10 of 2012 when we first came here and everyone has been so wonderful to us we have come here pretty much every Friday since. It is just such a friendly neighborhood bar kind of like the bar in the TV show Cheers where everyone knows your name. I would highly recommend this place to anyone.

Well Craig was doing Karaoke tonight so he was setting up by 9 and the place was already packed and Paul was handing out New Year’s hats and Tiara’s and what girl doesn’t love a Tiara even if it is cardboard. I was so tempted to get one but as I would not be there at midnight I didn’t to make sure they would have enough for those who were there plus I have a few from past years. Well we had got the picture of Heather, me and Lynn and it turns out Chris wanted to be in the picture and so we took another one, yes you can never have to many picture and I guess it is not just T-girls who like to have their picture taken, left to right Chris, Heather, Susan, and Lynn. Well while we were taking the picture Jan also wanted in and so we had to get another one, everyone loves to be in pictures. What a pretty looking bunch of girls and a handsome boy.

Well it got late and I had planned on leaving by 9 but as always it didn’t work out that way and it was almost 9:30 by the time I said my goodbyes and paid my bill. It was sad I could stay and usher in the New Year with my friends but work has to come first as that is how my male side buys things for Susan and allows her to go out and have fun, my male side is so generous to Susan he pretty much lets her have what she wants. I joke about this all the time and I don’t want people to think that I really do think of them as two different people as I know I am the same person as Susan or my male self but there are differences in the way I act, think and look at life and it is the blending of the two that make me who I am and so happy.

Well I hope you all had a wonderful New Year’s night and I wish you all a safe and Happy New Year and May you find all the happiness you deserve. Okay here is the last picture, left to right, Chris, Heather, Jan behind Heather, Susan and Lynn, what a great picture.

Thanks for reading my blog, I never thought when I started my blog it would be something others would read but you have and I am thankful for that.

January 1, 2014 Posted by | Holiday, Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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