Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

A little quiet time as Susan on Sunday.

Well it is Sunday and yes, I get a little Susan time today. Now I had no plans for the day other then I wanted to spend part of it as Susan. now according to the weather yesterday it was supposed to start raining this morning and rain through Tuesday. I made myself an early lunch a little after 11 and then started transforming into Susan. I was all ready a little before 1 so I sat down to watch some TV. Last night I recorded the Bionic Woman as it was a 2-part show and I didn’t want to stay up till midnight plus this way I could fast forward through the commercial, amazing as I watched the 2 hours of it in less than 1 ½ hours. It was only about 2:30 now and it actually looked pretty nice out, mid 70’s and partially sunny so I decided enough sitting around my house. I decided to go to the Starbucks right my house for a while and figure out what I would do.

It only took a couple minutes to get to Starbucks and I went in and ordered my drink and of course the one lady greeted me by name. I talked with her for a bit while she made me my drink, turns out she just moved here a couple months ago from the East coast. I got my drink and went and sat out front as I said it is in the mid 70’s and I wanted to enjoy this weather before it is gone for the winter. There were a couple other groups at the tables outside who I think had the same idea. I stayed here till about 4 while I played on my computer and thought about what I wanted to do. Now I had fixed me a big lunch so I wasn’t really hungry but new I had to have something but what. I decided to go to McDonalds but before you say anything my plan was to go through the drive through and then go down to the waterfront and eat at one of the picnic tables along the river and then take a little walk along the river, a good plan.

I went to the McDonalds at Jantzen Beach as from there it is a short drive back across the river to the waterfront. As I was getting my food the wind picked up a little and this was the change. By the time I got back across the river to the waterfront, maybe 5 minutes the wind was really blowing and although it was still 74 out the wind made it feel a lot colder. Now I did have a coat so that was not the problem really it was the wind, it really messes up my hair so in the end I sat in my car and ate my dinner in the parking lot looking out over the river. Not what I had planned but a nice view. You can also guess I did not go for a walk either. There were actually a lot of people out walking but all the women with long hair (and a couple of men) you could really see it blowing in the wind. This is the one time I really wish it was my own hair as wigs do not do well in the wind, but I really like the advantage of changing up my look with different wigs as you can see from my blogs.

It was a little before 5 when I decided to leave the waterfront as it was still really windy and yes, I just decided to go to the other Starbucks by my house and sit inside for a while and work on my blog and send out the information for our Monday night zoom meeting. I went in and yes was greeted by name by the one young man who always seems to be here, you know it really does make you feel good when they remember you. I got my drink and sat down to get some things down on my computer including starting this blog. Now as I sat there a man walked by and said hi and asked me how my day was going and I immediately thought about yesterday at Starbucks. I said hi back and told him it was good and he just moved on and went and sat 4 tables down and that was it. turns out he knows one of the workers here who came out a couple times and talked with him so he was just being nice. Now as I sat here, I did get a call from my brother so I talked to him for a little bit and also got a call from one of my friends and we talked for a little bit, he wants to get together this week which will be fun as we haven’t got together in months, although he doesn’t know about Susan. I stayed here till about 7 before leaving and heading home for the evening as there was a Hallmark movie, I wanted to watch at 8pm. As I said it was a quiet and relaxing day but fun.

Now I am looking forward to Monday’s zoom meeting and Wednesday nights dinner and then next weekend, there is a chance my brother will come to town but if not, it will be a weekend of Susan and on Saturday I am thinking of making a drive to the coast again for the day for 2 reasons, one I just want to go but 2 I want to try an all-day makeup look to see how well it holds up to get ready for our trip to Las Vegas. On October 25th Cassandra and I will drive all the way to Las Vegas, 15 hours in the car and I want to get a look that will still look good enough when we get there to at least go and check into the hotel. Now I know a few of you wonder why I would do such a long trip in a car as Susan, for me it is the experience. When I go to Las Vegas it is my chance to be Susan 24/7 and do the whole trip as Susan. the only thing I will have on this trip that is my male self is my drivers license and a credit card, nothing else from my male side. It really is an experience to do this as I really have no choice but to be Susan on this trip. By the way there is still time to sign up for Diva Las Vegas if you are interested.

Be safe and be happy, thanks for reading my blog and be sure and follow me on my blog.

September 27, 2021 Posted by | Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday Susan time and another first for me

Well it is Saturday and I get some Susan time. I got up and did some yard work as it is going to rain the next few days so it was about noon when I started getting ready. now I really had no plans although I did want to go to Home Depot and get some fertilizer for my yard and maybe stop at Costco for gas and to pick up a few things and of course there will be a Starbucks stop or two. I did a more dramatic eye look, darker smokey eye look and yes did winged eyeliner and it actually turned out pretty well today and yes, I went for a bright red lipstick as with the mask it will really only be at Starbucks where people will see it. I was all ready by about 1 and on my way. My first stop was Costco for gas and then I went inside and looked around, I really only needed a few things and the trip was mainly for gas. From here I stopped at Home Depot and got my fertilizer, hard to believe I go here as Susan. now I was close to Cascade station and I figured I could check out a few of the stores there as today is a beautiful fall day, right about 80 and no wind.

It was a little after 2 by this time and I hadn’t eaten yet so I decided to start at the Starbucks and get a drink and a bagel. Now they were busy so I had to park a little way away. I went in and actually they were not busy at all. As I stood there waiting for the lady to come take my order the young lady making the drinks greeted me by saying, Hi Susan are you getting a sweetened green iced tea today? Yes, she remembered me and I said yes so by the time I paid for my drink I had it already. Now as I said it was a nice day so I went outside and sat down, I couldn’t get one of the tables in the shade but there was one that was partially shades by an umbrella so that was where I sat. I got a quick picture and then I posted my blog from last Mondays Zoom meeting and then just started doing some work on my computer. Now I do get asked occasionally what work I am doing. I actually own some stocks and as hard as it is to believe I find it interesting to follow them and read about them and research stocks I may want to buy in the future. Yes, I have turned this part of my life over to Susan. a table opened in the shade and as the umbrella was not helping me much, I moved to that table by the building. Now I had been here about an hour or so and pretty much everyone was sitting outside as I said it was the perfect fall day.

Now as I said it was another first because as I sat here, I suddenly heard a mans voice say, wow did you get your hair done today it looks amazing. I looked up from my computer and there was a man standing there probably 40’ish. I thanked him for the compliment as what else can you do. He then went on to tell me how pretty I was and that he had seen me here before and just had to come meet me and sat down across the table from me. Now this is really flattering but as I have said before I am in no way attracted to men. He introduced himself to me as Michael. Now this has happened to me a few times before in Bars but this was a first at Starbucks. Now in the daylight I knew there was no way he could believe I was anything other then transgender so at least I didn’t have to worry about that. We talked briefly and yes; I gave him my name as what can you do when someone asks. He then said he would like to get together sometime and asked for my phone number. I politely told him I didn’t think my girlfriend would like that and that seemed to take care of it, yes, I lied about having a girlfriend but it seemed the easiest way out without hurting his feelings. We talked a few minutes more and he told me he drove shuttle to the airport so he comes here pretty regular. Well he finally said goodbye and left but now I have this to think about when I come here as I do like this Starbucks also as it is a great place to stop when I am out shopping. I stayed here about 15 more minutes before putting my computer in my trunk and walking over to DSW and Ross Dress for less to look around.

I didn’t find anything I liked so I walked down to Best Buy and looked around a little yes it was all about just being out. it was a nice day out. It was almost 5 now so I walked back to my car and decided I would go get something to eat. Now I have gone to IHOP and Sherries by myself but there is something about going to a sit-down dinner place by yourself and in the end, I drove over to Orchards to the Wendy’s I normally go to and got something to eat. It was a little after 6 when I finished eating and I wanted to finish my day at Starbucks and work on my blog but if I went to the one by my house which closes at 7:30 I would only have about an hour so I decided to go to the Starbuck here in Orchards right by Wendy’s. I have gone here before but usually early morning or afternoon but I figured it would give ne the most time as I am basically there already.

I went in and got a drink and sat down and it turns out this Starbucks is open till 9 so I actually have a little more time tonight. I got my computer out and started writing this blog and catching up on e-mails and just relaxing as Susan, I just figure this is a more fun way to spend time then sitting at home as Susan on my computer. Now I had been here about 15 minutes when another man came in and got a drink and sat down at the table right next to me and got his computer out and I thought about what happened earlier after all we were the only 2 in the place so why did he sit so close but he never said a word to me while I was there so it was probably just so he could plug his computer in also. I stayed here till a little after 8 before heading home for the night. it was a fun and relaxing Saturday.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 26, 2021 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, Starbucks | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Monday night zoom meeting

Well it is Monday again and it will be a long week for my male side so I was really looking forward to tonight as I won’t get another chance to be I got home from work a little late, yes, this week I will be working long hours, a chance for overtime for Susan to spend in Las Vegas. Starting tomorrow I will be starting work at 5am and probably working till 5pm or 6pm through the end of the week. It was about 5:30 when I got home and I started getting ready as I wanted to look my best, yes as Susan how I look is very important. Now I know I will not pass for a female but I do want to try and look my best as I don’t want people to think I am making fun of women. People ask me all the time why I do this, why I dress as Susan and the main reason is I love it. but I think on a deeper level I really admire females and want to emulate that the best I can. You could call it respect, admiration or whatever term you like but I really do believe woman represent what is the best in humans. I took my time and was ready just a little before 7 so I took a quick picture and got the meeting started.

Now there were already ladies waiting. Tonight we would have a smaller group, only 7 of us but that is okay. We had Emily, Nicole, Jennifer, Melissa, Jeanie, Danielle and me. Now most weeks Nicole does not have her video on as she is usually in a hotel room with poor lighting as she travels a lot for work and tonight was no different although she was at home and just didn’t have time to dress. Now she did turn on her web camera briefly to show everyone her new puppy and the puppy was so cute and small.

We all talked for a while and yes part of it was about Diva Las Vegas which is a little over a month away. I am really looking forward to it as I will have 12 days of being Susan completely and yes getting acrylic nails. Now I am going back and forth on how to get them, should I go as my male self to Julie’s nails on Friday evening on my way home from work or if I could slide out of work a little early on that Friday, I would have time to go home first and transform into Susan and go to Dream nails by my house either way Friday night I will get my nails done. Now Jennifer is also going but she is only going Monday till Friday but yes, she is planning on getting acrylic nails also and will be flying down and back as Jennifer. She is also really looking forward to it. Of course we both gave our pitch to the others about going but they can’t this year. Right now from our group it will be Jennifer, me, Cassandra and Veronica for sure as we have all made our reservations. Cassandra and I will drive down on October 25th and drive home on November 2nd, also one of our friends from Nebraska has booked her room and will be there. Now there will be a big turnout this year as there are already 200+ people signed up but it is being held in conjunction with Diva Wild side which I have never gone to. It is very similar in many ways to Diva Las Vegas as it really is just a vacation but where Diva Las Vegas is more about blending in and not drawing attention to our group Wild side is just the opposite. They want to be visible and draw attention so it will be interesting to see how it goes. Now I am not sure if some of the wild side is included in the totals as Diva Las Vegas usually gets about 170. The events I have signed up for are just the Diva Las Vegas ones although one is a joint dinner. Right now we will have to wear masks but I am hopeful that will change by then, everyone have positive thoughts about this for me.

Well soon it was time for Jennifer’s question of the week and it was interesting to hear some of the girls stories, some really good and positive and some not so good. now I thought about it and several came to my mind. For me it was getting into a car wreck, yes Susan was in a car wreck a few years back. I was out as Susan shopping for Diva Las Vegas and got rear ended, I saw it coming and there was nothing I could do but what made it so memorable is the car hit me so hard my wig flew off and into the back seat so while the other people were getting out of their cars I was trying to find my wig and get it put back on and make it look good. Well we talked some more and it was about 8:30 when girls started to sign off and by 8:45 we were down to just 3 of us and as I must be to work by 5am, (get up a little before 4am) we called it a night. it is sad to see the evening end but I was okay with it as it will be a short nigh tonight and a long week.

Now I am looking forward to the weekend and spending Saturday and Sunday as Susan.

Be happy and be who you are, thanks for reading my log and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 25, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , | Leave a comment

A quiet Sunday as Susan and a nice drive

Well it is Sunday and I really hadn’t planned on having Susan time today but as I had the day free, I decided to spend it as Susan. I decided I would take a drive up the gorge and maybe check out Multnomah Falls. Yes, it is a rainy day but there are supposed to be some sun breaks and I was hoping with the weather they would not be that busy. My plan was to leave around 9 so I got up early and got ready. now as you all know who read my blog, I love makeup and trying different looks and today was no exception. Today though I was going to try and find a makeup look that would go well with my black wig, I don’t wear this one often as if the makeup is not just right, I don’t look good. I spent about 2 hours getting ready and yes used more rose color eye shadow and a softer color lipstick and, in the end, I was pretty happy with how it turned out and I did get a few pictures. I wore black leggings and a grey sweater top and my white and pink tennis shoes in case the weather cooperates and I can get out and walk around at the falls. I also took my ankle boots just in case I stop someplace where I don’t have to walk a lot, a girl hast to be prepared.

I left home and drove out I-84 and saw a sign that said the parking lot was full and also something about a permit which is something new but I figured I would go check it out. now it is only about 40 miles not as far as I thought but was a nice drive. I got there and yes, the parking lot was full so I drove down the old highway and drove by it just to look but couldn’t find any roadside parking either so today would just be a nice drive. I decided to drive up to Hood River just for something to do as I have not been here in years. I got to Hood River right about 11am and planned to drive back the Washington side but did stop at a McDonald’s. Now Hood River is not real big and I don’t suppose they have a hug Transgender population but I figured if Nicole could go out in all the small towns, she goes to in Washington why not me. I went in and ordered some food and sat and ate it and really no one paid any attention to me although I am sure I got a few looks. After I ate, I drove across the bridge and headed back towards home. It was a nice drive and gave me time to think.

Now from time to time we get girls who question this side of our lives and that goes for me also. One of our girls posted a question to the group on how do we explain this to people and this got me thinking about it again. It really is a hard thing to explain to people, it is hard to explain even to myself. Why do I dress this way? Why do I like to go out as a female? What is the purpose or point of it? All are really good questions that is am sure we have all thought about and tried to justify to ourselves and others. For me this was my biggest issue growing up and what kept me from enjoying this part of who I am for many years. I will give you my answers to these questions and they are just that, how I feel about these.

The short answer is I have no idea and I am sure that is not the deep wisdom you were hoping for. It is like asking why someone buys a white car over a red or blue car, why someone buys a Toyota over a Ford or Chevy, why someone likes a certain food. The simplest answer is it is who we are. I am who I am and that is all I can be. I like makeup, I don’t know why. I like pretty and long nails, I don’t know why, I like pretty dresses, I don’t know why. We get so hung up on trying to figure out why we are who we are instead of enjoying who we are. I know some women who hate long nails, who hate heel, who hate dresses and yes some even hate doing makeup, go figure. It doesn’t change who they are any more then my love of these things changes the person I am inside. For my friends both as Susan or my male self, if you were talking to me on the phone there is nothing that would give me away. The only way any of my friends would be able to tell is to see me. I am still the same caring friendly person no matter how I am dressed. Society has created these little boxes that everyone should fit into and if you don’t it seems some people can’t process what they see. As society we really need to get pass the outward appearance of people and see them for who they are. I will date myself a little here but there use to be a TV show called the Dating game from the late 60’s & early 70’s where one person asked questions of 3 people hidden behind a curtain and it wasn’t till, they picked that they got to meet. The other person could be older than you, younger, a different race or nationality and I think that is a great way. We tend to form opinions about people and judge them simply on how they look and I think we miss out on meeting a lot of wonderful people. The friends I have made as Susan are some of the most wonderful people you could every meet. So I guess what I am saying is don’t worry so much about why you are like this but focus on enjoying who you are as everyone is special in their own way. Wow I guess the drive was longer than I thought.

I got back to Vancouver a little after 2 and yes, I had my computer with me so I figured I would stop at Starbucks but there was a problem, my hair. Now yes, I have gone to the Starbucks with different hair before but it was really more the style of the wig not the color. Showing up with black hair would be a big change so I decided to go to the Starbucks by Vancouver mall, I have gone here a couple times over the years but not enough that anyone would really remember me. This one does not have a drive through so it really is a good place to people watch. I got my drink and sat by the window facing the door so I could watch the people come and go. Now there was one young girl that I just have to mention as she walked in and looked towards me and turned around and walked back out and yes I was thinking it was me but she went to her car and got her mask which she had forgotten and came back in. now the funny thing is she had what I think was a sucker in her moth as I could see the stick, sticking out so she had her mask around her chin and yes the whole time she was in here that was how she wore it. this is not about wearing a mask or not of if they do anything or not but I am just wondering why she went back out to get it if she wasn’t going to wear it. I stayed here till about 4:30 before going to get something to eat.

I decided to go to Cascade station as I wanted to go to the Ross Dress for Less and I figured I could do the Panda Express there. I got there and went into Ross and looked around, found a couple dresses but not in my size, I really envy smaller ladies. I walked over to the Panda Express and went in, there were 5 people a head of me so I had to wait and it was cold. They had their air conditioning going and it was actually colder inside then outside and it was only 64 degrees outside. I got my dinner and went and sat at a small table outside under the breeze way. Now as I sat and ate dinner it did rain and it turns out I was just under the cover as less then 10 feet away from me it was all wet from the rain. It was actually a cool way to eat and watch the rain.

I left here and normally I would go to the Starbucks near my house and work on my blog but again I didn’t want to go there with my different color hair. The reason is these places I always go to as Susan on a regular basis they only see me this way and it may sound silly but I am sure they think I am full time as they never see me any other way and I like that. Going with such a dramatic change in hair color may make them wonder.

I decided to go to the Starbucks on Mill lain as it is on my way home and yes, I have gone here before but not really regular so I doubt they would remember me. I got there just before 6 and went in. I got my drink and sat down to work on my blog from today. I only stayed here till a little after 7 before going home as I had some laundry to do before bed. I also sent out the information for our Monday night zoom meeting.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

I also booked my hotel for Diva Las Vegas next month. A lot more expensive this year as it is over Halloween. I will be there for 8 nights and that Friday and Saturday before Halloween is almost ½ of what my room will be. We will arrive on October 25th and leave November 2nd. Yes, I will have acrylic nails, I plan to stop on my way home Friday night October 22nd and get my nails and have them removed on November 3rd, I am so looking forward to this.

September 19, 2021 Posted by | Starbucks, Thoughts on Crossdressing | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saturday and yes, I got some Susan time

Well it is Saturday and yes, I am getting some Susan time this weekend, my brother was supposed to come up and we were going to go golfing but with the forecast for heavy rain and thunderstorms we decided to postpone it a couple weeks and as such that leaves my weekend free. Now I did have a few things I wanted to do today but luckily Susan could do them all. I needed to run to Costco, Home Depot and I wanted to drop some stuff off at Goodwill, yes getting rid of some of my parents stuff, something I have been putting off but felt it was time. I did a more dramatic eye makeup look as I figured when I go into places, I must wear a mask so I wanted my eyes to make a statement and yes, I did go with a red lipstick but more of a brick red and again the only place this will be visible is in my car or when I stop at Starbucks which will happen or when I figure out what I will do for dinner. I got dressed and was all ready by 11am and today I wore my maroon long sleeve sweeter top and my jeggings which are a cross between leggings and jeans of course that meant my hip pads. It was a nice casual look for the day. I got a few pictures and was on my way.

My first stop was the Goodwill by my house there were a couple cars in front of me so I only had a short wait. The young man who helped me never said a thing. I left here and headed for Home Depot, my one toilet seat broke so Susan will replace that today, yes, she can do minor home repairs. I got to the Costco by the airport and went in and found what I needed and was on my way. My next step was Costco I needed a few things and I wanted to cash my rebate check. Went in and picked up the things I needed, toilet paper and some cleaning supplies and some snacks including some peanut butter cookies which I really should not have bought but they are so good. I paid for my stuff and then went to the membership area to cash my rebate check. There was only 1 young man working it as I stood in line behind 4 other people. As I stood there, I wondered what he would say. I was next in line when a young lady came up and opened the next spot and waved me over. I handed her my rebate voucher and was waiting for her to ask for ID when she told me they changed it and don’t cash them any more I had to spend in the store. She did say I didn’t have to spend it all as they will give change back and as I had already done my shopping I just left.

Now on the way home it actually got a little sunny out so I drove down by the waterfront and figured I would take a short walk. There were not many people probably because of the weather so I parked and got out of my car. I walked about 200 feet and it started to get windy I mean really windy so I turned to walk back to my car which luckily, I was walking into the wind. I did get a couple quick pictures and looked down towards the bridge and I could see a dark cloud and I could see the rain coming so I walked quickly back to my car and just beat the rain. I went home and unloaded my car and fixed my toilet and brushed out my hair as the wind kind of meshed it up.

It was a little after 2 and I decided to drive to the Starbucks in Orchards and catch up on e-mails and do a little work on my computer. I got my drink and sat down at a table inside facing the door so I could people watch as people came in. Now, I had been here about 30 minutes when it got dark and really started to rain hard and that turned to hail and yes, the ground looked like it had a layer of snow on it. The hail only lasted maybe 10 minutes or less but the heavy rain lasted almost 30 minutes and I found myself watching it. I stayed here till about 4:30 before leaving to go get dinner.

I decided to go to Sherri’s by Vancouver mall and get something to eat. I got there about 4:50 and went in and they were not busy, only 2 booths were taken, one with an older couple and one with a lady and her little boy. My waiters name was Justin and he was really nice and never miss gendered me and we had a nice conversation about the weather today and what was going on, turns out he is ex-military and was in Afghanistan till he got injured so I made a point of thanking him for his service. I ordered my dinner and yes, I got the country fried chicken dinner, one of the reasons I came here. Now as I said they were not busy which surprised me being a Saturday evening. Well I must have timed it just right because about 5:15 people started coming in and it was a pretty steady stream of people and soon most of the tables were taken. It was about 5:30 when I finished and had paid my bill and as I left, I walked by 2 couples who were waiting for a table.

I decided to go to the Starbucks near my house that is open till 7:30 but on the freeway traffic slowed way down almost to a stop as we had another heavy rain and hail again as a matter of fact a few of us actually pulled onto the shoulder and stopped as it was not worth the risk. It only lasted about 5 minutes and again the road was white. It has been a really stormy day today. I got to the Starbucks right about 6 and went in and got my drink and sat down to relax.

I went in and got a drink and sat down to work on today’s blog and just spend a little relaxing time as Susan. There were a few other people inside yes with the weather no one was sitting outside. I stayed here till about 7:20 before leaving for the night. I went home and watched some TV till bedtime and yes, I get another day as Susan tomorrow. I am not sure what I will do but part of the day will be spent as Susan. The problem right now is the mask mandates and I won’t get into if it is good or not but as Susan I want to be out where I can be seen and yes, the mask makes it easier to pass but also covers part of my face so I am less visible. The few places I can be inside and take the mask off are restaurants when I am at the table or in a place like Starbucks where I can sit at a table and have a drink without my mask on or I have to be outside. I am so ready for things to return to normal.

Be safe and be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 18, 2021 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting with friends

It is another Monday and that means time with my friends in our zoom meeting tonight. Now I have been thinking about how I want to do my makeup tonight. Now I always wear Maybelline superstay long wear lip stick as it stays on all day even through eating but tonight, I wanted to try a new one. Last Monday when I was out shopping I got a new MAC Russian Red lip stick and it really is a beautiful red and as I won’t be eating tonight as Susan, I figured it was the perfect chance to wear it. Now to also make the color pop I went with a lighter shade of foundation as I think it looks better with a more pale skin tone, and of course my long blonde wig. It is a little harder look to do but if it turns out it really is a pretty look. I started getting ready a little after 5 and took my time and yes, I spent almost 2 hours getting ready tonight including a few different outfits, I settled on a dark blue dress. I have a few dresses that I bought that actually fit me but are too short when I sit so, I don’t wear them out but I figured at home sitting on the couch on video it would be fine. I was all ready by 6:55 and got a few pictures before starting the meeting right at 7. Let me know what you think of my look tonight.

Now there were already girls waiting and tonight we would have 12 of us, Melissa, Sherri, Jeanie, Danielle, Danika, Emily, Lynn, Tori, Nicole, Trish, Jennifer and me. It was great to see them and just talk and catch up. It really is about just being social and interacting with each other even if only on a video chat. We talked till a little after 8 before it was time for Jennifer’s question of the week and it was what would be your ideal shopping trip. Now the one thing we pretty much all agreed on its going with someone else and it was 1 or 2 others with us as we felt that was the right amount and yes maybe have lunch during the trip which is really how I like to do it. some felt having a Cis woman with you would be best and yes, I have gone shopping with Peggy and it is a lot of fun but for me it s just sharing it with someone else as you end up talking a lot, maybe more then shopping. Now one of the girls talked about having a personal shopper and yes that would be awesome. I remember years ago when I was first going out shopping, I drove up towards Seattle to a mall up there and went to the Nordstrom’s and a really nice sales lady helped find a skirt and showed me to the dressing room so I could try it on. Now the funny part is as I was trying it on, she was bringing me more items, tops to go with the skirt and a few more skirts. I was probably in the dressing room for 30 minutes trying on different looks and yes, I would come out and ask her opinion and she was pretty honest as she said some of them didn’t work for me. It was a wonderful experience and I think I did buy one of the skirts and tops.

Now for me I have thought about this and for me the one thing I have always wanted to do would be to go to a bridal store and try on wedding dresses and maybe maid of honor dresses, you know fancy type dresses. Now I have no place to wear such a dress but it would be so much fun and to get some pictures. Now if you read my blog, you know I like watching Hallmark movies and they are all the same mostly romance and a lot of time you see the bride to be going to try on wedding dresses with her mom and maid of honor and it really does look like so much fun. I guess it would have been the same at a young age going to try on prom dresses. These are some of the wonderful things young girls and ladies get to enjoy in their life that young boys and men never get to experience. Now I realize I will probably never get to do this but it is wonderful to think about. Now thinking about shopping with someone else the other thing is women will help each other, find things for them to try on and give them an honest opinion on outfits. Have you ever seen a man getting clothes for his friend in a dressing room to try on or telling him how good he looks in an outfit? As I have said it is wonderful to be female even if only part time to get to share this wonderful part of life. It was a wonderful discussion thanks for such a wonderful question, Jennifer.

Now we talked more and it was almost 9 before girls started to sign off and yes once you lose the first one you seem to lose others and by about 9:15 it was down to just Sherri and me so we got to talk for a while just the 2 of us which is nice as you really get to know the other person better. We talked for maybe 15 minutes and it was nice, Sherri is a lucky woman as she has a supportive wife and a great friend to help her, yes if you must have a helpful friend to help you having an aesthetician (beauty expert for MAC) is hitting the lottery. It was really nice and Sherri hopes to be able to come to Portland more often over the winter. She wasn’t sure she could make it on a Wednesday night but that is okay as I told her I would be willing to do other nights as I am always happy for another night as Susan especially if I can get together with someone. I also told her I could probably get a few others to go out if I had a little bit advance notice.

Well it was about 9:30 when I closed down the meeting for the night, it is always sad to see the evening and yes, this week will be little Susan time as we don’t have a dinner this week as most of the girls are out of town and it looks like I will have family in town next weekend so it may be next Monday before I get some Susan time again.

Now a funny thing, as I was getting up, I wanted to check my lipstick and see how it still looked and I was using my camera and I accidently took a candid picture of myself. Now I was leaning over and my hair was falling forward and it kind of gave me the big hair look from the 80’s. I went back and forth and somehow, I kind of like the look, will be interesting to hear other thoughts.

Be safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 14, 2021 Posted by | mac, zoom | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Sunday Susan time.

Well it is Sunday and I get some time this afternoon as Susan. now other then doing my blog from Saturday and a little grocery shopping I have nothing planned but yes it will be as Susan. I started getting ready a little after noon and today I tried a little different makeup look. Now I had bought a foundation that was not right for me, I would say to dark but really had kind of an orangey look to it so it has just sat there. Well today I decided to mix it with a lighter shade and see if I could get a darker look without being orange. It seems to have worked and it gave me a darker skin tone almost like a deep tan. I did do a somewhat dramatic eye look and of course bright red lips, yes, I love my red lipstick. In all I was pretty happy with the look. I was all ready a little before. Now my plan for today is to go to the Starbucks by my house as they are open till 5:30 now and do my blog from yesterday and then go grocery shopping. Figure out something for dinner and then to the other Starbucks by my house as they are open till 7:30 to finish off the night.

It only took a couple minutes to get to the Starbuck and I went in. This Starbucks does not have a drive through so you must walk in. inside there were 2 people waiting for drinks and a couple sitting at a table. Now one of the workers walked by and said Susan right and I said yes and she said good to see you back. Now I have come here a couple times lately but I was surprised she remembered me. We talked briefly while I waited for my drink and then sat by the window as it was a little windy outside today. Now I had been here about 20 minutes and suddenly it was a steady stream of people coming in and yes some were sitting at tables, it is good for people watching. I worked on my blog from Saturday and yes as I sat here, I did see a couple people I know come in but I just kept my head down to my computer and kept working.

I stayed here till about 3:30 before leaving and going over to Fred Meyers and doing a little shopping. Really shopping for 1 person is pretty easy and doesn’t take that long so I was home and putting my stuff away before 5. Now it was what do I do for dinner. Now I did have a big lunch before I started getting all pretty, a big salad and a chicken breast so I wasn’t really hungry but knew I needed to eat something or I would be snacking later tonight. I decided to go to Wendy’s in Orchards. Now like the Starbucks at Cascade station this is the other place I do go both as my male and female self. I got there about 5:15 and went in and there were a few people inside eating. I got my food and sat down to eat. I have said it a lot in my blogs but when I am Susan, I really don’t want to just sit at home reason I will stop at Starbucks after I eat and finish up some stuff I need to do on my computer. It is funny as for years Susan was hid in my house and now, she is out in the world and yes even doing some of my work and in the past some of my training classes for my male self, I always say my male self supports Susan but, in a way, I guess Susan is earning a little bit of my money by doing some of my work this way. Computers have really helped make things easier and more fun. I was only here for about 20 minutes before leaving for the other Starbucks near my house.

I got to the Starbucks just before 6 and went in, and yes, a couple of the employees greeted me by name as I really do come to this Starbucks a lot. It’s that old saying with all the money I spend at Starbucks I should own stock, wait I do own stock in Starbuck’s so I guess I am supporting myself. Now I did think about sitting outside but still just a little to windy for Susan, yes, the one drawback of having long hair. There were 6 tables along the window with 3 people at them but the spacing was such I took one between a young lady and a young man, we were probably 5 feet apart and I did ask if it was okay with them, yes, I interacted with them and both said it was fine. Now I did send out the notice to our group about our Monday night Zoom meeting and then finished up on a little work. Yes, the work was some training for work as we get little bonuses if we do this and it is Susan’s contribution and her way of helping out plus I get a kick out of wondering what my co-workers would think if they new this was how I did it.

I also started on today’s blog as I really want to have it done before our zoom meeting tomorrow. This coming week I really need to keep up on it as I will have family in town next weekend so there will be no Susan time and no chance to get caught up on my blogs. It was about 6:20 and 2-woman came in and got drinks and went outside to sit and I could see I made the right choice to sit inside, one of them had her hair in a ponytail but the other didn’t and I could see it blowing in the wind and she had her sunglasses on her head trying to hold it back and was still occasionally having it in her face. By 6:30 4 other women had joined them and yes all of them either pulled their hair into a ponytail or a bun non their heads.

I stayed here till 7:30 and then I went home for the night as I had a load of laundry to do and I wanted to watch a Hallmark movie I recorded today called a Winter Princess, Yes that is another wonderful thing about being Susan as I love movies like this. It has been a good weekend and now I look forward to tomorrows Zoom meeting with my friends.

Stay safe and love who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recant blog to see what is new in my life.

Now I do post my pictures in my blog but I also post my favorites on my Flickr page and I thought I would share a few links to my favorites from the past year if you care to look. By the way none of my pictures are touched up I just post the ones that turn out well.

This one I was able to create some nice Cleavage in and thought it was an overall great picture

This one my skin looks flawless and my eyes bright with the purple eye shadow

This one I tried looking away to get a casual look and I liked it

This one was just a little out of focus by accident but it turned out well and I loved my eyes

This one was all about my smile I loved the way it looked


September 13, 2021 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday Susan time and a little shopping

Well it is Saturday and I get to spend some time as Susan after I do some things in the morning. I left home early in hopes I could be home by noon. Thing went well and I had everything done by 11 and as I was by Cascade station, I made a quick stop at the Starbucks to finish my blog from Monday and post it. now this is the one Starbucks I do go to both as my male and female selves. I got my drink and finished and posted my blog and was on my way home a little before noon. Now I did this for 1 main reason, today I want to do a little shopping and yes, I am going to go to Clackamas Town center and this will be a good place to stop on my way home as Susan.

I got home about 12:30 and started getting ready, I took my time today as I wanted to try a more daytime look, my eye shadow will be just browns some deep and others more neutral but going for a soft smokey eye look and for my lips more of a mauve pinkish color. I was all ready by 2 so I grabbed my computer and walked out the door to my car and was on my way. I got to Clackamas Town center about 2:30 and parked by JC Penny’s and went in, now being a Saturday afternoon they were pretty busy which I expected. Now I did need to buy something but mostly it was just to window shop but of course you never know. Next weekend my brother is coming into town and we are going golfing and I need some golf balls so I wanted to go to Dick’s Sporting goods, I might have been here before as Susan but not Susan’s normal stop. Now it is funny as when I first started this journey it was always my male self, buying stuff for Susan, over time Susan started buying her own stuff and the last couple years Susan is doing more shopping for my male self so I guess I have come full circle.

I walked to the far end of the mall yes Dick’s is at the opposite end of the mall and went in. I browsed the golf equipment and looked things over before getting what I needed and they had a sale by 1 box of balls get a second free so I got 2 and went to the checkout. Now in Oregon you must pay for your bag so they usually ask but the girl at the checkout never asked so I requested one and to my surprise was told they were out. Well I walked all the way back and out to my car as I didn’t want to carry them loose. I went back inside and looked around, I checked out the dresses and heels in Penny’s before going back into the mall.

I worked my way down the mall and went in and looked at some of the earrings in the small jewelry stores and I found some really cute dangly ones but controlled myself as I already have about 15 pairs now and it takes me a while to cycle through them all especially as I have my favorites, yes, the bigger hoop earrings. I also went into Macy’s to check out their dress section and again found some really cute dresses but just not my size. Now as I was leaving Macy’s I walked right past a lady I knew and yes, we did make eye contact as she was looking right at me but I just walked on by as I figure with the face mask on, she wouldn’t figure it out. now I was right by the MAC store and saw Tracy, Sherri’s friend in there so I decided to stop in just to say hi, I ran into her here last Monday as my male self and also saw her at Wednesday night dinner so I figured this would complete the week. We talked for a few minutes, turns out her and Sherri stopped at a bar Wednesday night after dinner to top off Sherri’s first night out, good for her. I bet she had a blast. I walked around the mall a little more and yes passed the lady I knew 2 more tines but she really paid no attention to me so I am pretty sure earlier was just taking in seeing a trans person. Now I only see here about once every other week so it will be interesting the next time but I am pretty sure I am safe. This is the only bright side to having to wear masks.

It was a little after 4 when I left here and headed back towards home. I did need to make a stop at Target as the color of lipstick I am wearing today is almost gone and I wanted to pick up a new one. I went in and got what I needed and went to the checkout. Now this Target has about 12 checkout lanes and a self-checkout to but with all the people here today they only had 2 lanes open pretty much forcing people to go to the self-checkout as for 1 item I didn’t want to stand in line behind 6 people with full carts. From here I went to the Starbucks and as I figured 2 of the girls working here were also here earlier when I was my male self. the girl working the counter who took my order was the same one from earlier and she seemed to show no signs of recognition but I am sure she see lots of people each day.

Now they were also really busy and all the tables outside were taken so I sat inside and worked on my blog from Wednesday nights dinner. I had been here about an hour when I saw a couple tables outside open up so I moved out there as it really is a nice evening about 78 out and I just wanted to be outside as I know winter is coming and it will be too cold to be outside. Plus that seemed to be where everyone wanted to be and a great place to people watch. I stayed here till about 6:30 before walking across the street to Panda Express and getting something to eat I did sit at one of the outside tables and eat before heading for home. It was a fun and relaxing day out as Susan. tomorrow I will get to spend the afternoon and evening as Susan again and will have to enjoy it as next weekend my brother will be here so there will be no Susan time.

Be happy and stay safe and thanks for sharing this part of my life with me and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 12, 2021 Posted by | shopping, Starbucks | , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Southland Whiskey Kitchen and Sherri’s first time out

Well it is Wednesday night and I get to have dinner with my friends at Southland Whiskey Kitchen, yes we were here just a couple weeks ago but one of our newest members stopped by in male mode to meet us and tonight will be her first time going out as Sherri and she was familiar with this place so I figured it would help make her comfortable. Now originally, I had figured on just 6 but we had a last-minute ad and with 7 I decided to call and make a reservation for 8 just to be safe. Turns out I didn’t need to as they were not busy. I got home about 4:45 and started getting ready as I wanted to be to Julie’s by 6 so we had a little time to sit and talk before leaving I so love this time. now I knew what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my makeup and yes it included the gold eye shadow I bought Monday as Tracy the lady who sold it to me will be there. I did think about the lipstick I got also as it is really a beautiful shade but with eating it will wear off or worse maybe smear which I don’t like so that will be my lipstick probably for our Zoom meetings or if I am not going to eat. Yes, I do not like messy lips. I was all ready by a few minutes after 5:30 and on my way.

I got to Julie’s just before 6 and went in. Julie had just finished dressing and so we sat and talked for about 20 minutes before we left for the restaurant, I really do love picking Julie up as it gives us a great chance to talk plus Julie is just so wonderful to be around as are all my friends really. We got to Southland Whiskey Kitchen at 6:50 and went in and Sherri and Tracy were already there, Yes Sherri’s first time out. it was so wonderful to see them and Sherri looked wonderful and a lot more calm then my first few times out, I sat looking at the table and hardly said a word to the people around me, Tracy looked beautiful too as did all of us. Tracy is a really supportive friend of Sherri and her wife they met here in Portland and she came out to give Sherri some encouragement. Julie and I sat down and Cassandra joined us, seems she had been sitting at the bar waiting for us to arrive. Again I remember the old days when none of us wanted to be the first to arrive. It wasn’t long and Claire showed up, all we were missing was Patty and she showed up just a few minutes past 7 so we all made it. I made sure and introduced everyone to Sherri and Tracy as I wanted them to feel as welcome and comfortable as possible being her first time out. Sherri made a wonderful comment and I think it is worth repeating. She said she walked in as Sherri and the world didn’t end of change and that is so true. We all think that when we go out everyone is watching us, that we are all they are thinking about or talking about and that is just not true. Yes, we may get a look, comment or they may talk briefly about us but then life goes right back on track and they go back to what they were doing.

Our waitress came and took our drink order and it was the same waitress we had a couple weeks ago. Now looking around I am sure they were happy we were here as there were a couple people sitting at the bar and 1 couple at another table and that was it. we all ordered our food and yes, I got the same thing I had last time. I do have my favorites at the places we go and I tend to always order them, I am a girl of habit but I know what I like. Now I was to the middle of the table where I like to sit as I can kind of talk with everyone but I did spend most of the night talking with Sherri and Tracy as I really did want to get to know then better. Sherri lives a few hours away so she will not be a regular at our dinners but I really do hope when she is in town, she will join us. Even if not on a Wednesday night I and I think a few others would be willing to do another night if that was all she had in town yes, we all look for an excuse to enjoy this side of who we are.

Our food came and we had a wonderful meal. It was just such a wonderful night out with friends, new and old. I really think Sherri and Tracy enjoyed themselves at least I hope so. Your first time out is such a big experience and something we all remember. After dinner we sat and talked and just had nice time. it was a little before 9 when Sherri and Tracy’s Uber showed up as that was how they came to avoid parking. It was sad to see them leave but I look forward to seeing them again as they really are wonderful ladies. The rest of us sat and talked till about 9:30 before we left, we were the last ones here. Well it turns out because they are slow, they are closing earlier now and had been closed for a while now but let us sit and talk which was nice although we all felt bad for this. I think they are closing at 8 now which may affect our coming here as we usually do our dinners between 7 & 9. We all thanked them and they told us to be sure and come back. Now I forgot to get pictures and it would have been nice to get a group one, I really hope Sherri got a few of her to remember the night.

We all said our goodbyes and as Claire doesn’t live far from her Julie and I drove her home so we could talk a little more. Now next Wednesday I am not sure we will do a dinner as most of our regular girls will be out of town. We dropped Claire off and Julie and I talked all the way back to Julie’s house where I dropped her off for the night. it was a late night but so worth it. I didn’t get home till after 10:30 which may not seem that late but tomorrow I have to leave for work at 4:55 am which means it will be a short night. now I am looking forward to the weekend and some more Susan time.

Be happy with who you are and don’t let others tell you what you should be or how you should act. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.

September 12, 2021 Posted by | Dinner out, Susan Time | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Monday Susan time and our Zoom meeting

Well I got up early as it was my last day with my pretty red nails. Now I wanted to go out early as my male self and see if I got any comments on my nails, I was going to Starbucks to write my blog from Sunday and as I wanted to be visible with my nails, I also wanted to go to Clackamas Town center so today there was no eye makeup, I did however wear shorts and sandals so my red toes were also visible. I got to the Starbucks at Cascade Station about 8 am and got my drink, they were no busy at all at least compared to the last couple mornings. I sat down and wrote my blog and hung out here till 9:45 before leaving and going to Clackamas Town Center. I got there and walked in right as they were opening. My first stop was ULTA as I wanted a matte nail polish as I have decided Susan will go this afternoon and have the pretty color removed and get a gel clear coat and if it is too shiny, I want to be able to tone it down. I found an OPI matte I used years ago when I did the short acrylic nails for a while. I went up to purchase it and the young lady asked for my phone number as I am in their system as Susan so I gave it to her and she rang me up and gave me my total and used Susan when she referred to me which I found interesting as I was total male other then my finger nails. I paid and she complimented me on how nice my nails looked which made my day.

The other thing I wanted was last time I was shopping here with Jennifer we stopped in the small MAC store and the lady there had shown us a shimmery gold eye shadow I really liked and I wanted to get some to try it with my brown eye shadows. I walked in and I was the only one there as it was still really early. The lady there came over to see if I needed help. I explained about the gold eye shadow from a few months ago and she asked if it was a holiday one or something else and I really didn’t know we talked for a bit and I pointed at a couple and of course I got a compliment on my nails. I had been talking with her for 5 minutes or more and she finally asked if she knew me which caught me off guard but then I had been here as Susan back in March and she may have been the lady who helped Jennifer and me so I told her I had been here a while back but looked a little different so I pulled out my phone and showed her a picture of me as Susan, first time I have ever done that. She got a little excited and said Oh my God I am going to see you this week which really caught me off guard, she pulled down her mask a little and said Susan, you did come in to see me. That’s when I realized it was Tracy, the girl that came out with Sherri a couple weeks back to Southland Whiskey Kitchen and this week when we have dinner there again Sherri will be making her first time out in public and Tracy is coming with her. well we talked for a while and she gave me a sample of a primer and then gave me some suggestions on products and it turns out for doing this I got a free lipstick, I picked Russian Red which is what she called a blue red to me it is brick red. It was really fun.

It was about 1 when I got ready as Susan, I was all ready about 2:30 and on my way, I figured I would see if I could find a nail salon and remove the color from my nails and shorten them. I went to a place called Allure nail salon which I think I went here once before a few years back. They were open but only 4 people working being the holiday so I had to wait about 20 minutes, there were 2 men and 2 women working so I wondered who I would get, yes, I prefer a female but I have had a man do my nails before and that is what I would have this time. Stephen was his name and I told him I wanted the color removed, nails shortened and a clear gel polish. He did a great job and talked with me the whole time; he had just got back from a nail show in Las Vegas so we spent the whole time talking about Las Vegas. It was really nice. They are shorter but again perfectly shaped square with rounded corners and that really does make them look nice. I think even short nails that are nicely shaped is more noticeable then longer nails not well shaped. It was $22 for the color change which wasn’t bad. I left here at 4 and stopped by Starbucks to work on this blog. I stayed here till about 6 before heading home for our zoom meeting.

I started the meeting at 7 and it only took a moment for girls to start signing in. now again I am behind and writing this a week later so forgive me if I miss you in the list. I do know we had 13 girls tonight. Lorna, Marry Anne, Jennifer, Danika, Nicol, Danielle, Tori, Sherri, Jan, Lynn, Cheryl, Emily and me, I think I got everyone. Now tonight was our meeting for the wives and significant others to go into their own room but we got so busy in the conversation we never did that and they just stayed in the main room. One of Jennifer’s friends through another friend found out she has a son who is in his mid-20’s came out to her as trans and Jennifer came out to her and invited her to join tonight to talk to some of us and get some information. She is doing a wonderful job trying to understand and be supportive but as with many this is totally a new experience for her. we all shared a little about our experiences and for those who have come out how that went. Now the one piece of advice I gave was not to let anyone influence you or define you or tell you who you should be or how you feel. Get help yes and take advice but in the end only you know who you truly are and what is right for you and yes you can get pressure from both sides and every place in between. I have had people tell me I should stop this side of me, that I really want to transition fully or that I have to tell people about me and those are all personal decisions that you have to figure out for yourself with the help of others yes but it is your choice in the end.

It was great to get to know her and talk with her and yes it took up the first 1 ½ hours of our meeting but so worth it especially if we were any help to her. well after that we just talked a little and yes Jennifer did have a question for us but I was so focused on the other part of the meeting I forgot to write down who was here tonight and what the question was and now almost a week later my mind can’t remember. It was after 9 when girls started to sign off and again soon it was just Danielle and me and we talked a little longer which I really like as I have gotten to know Danielle a lot better. I love the big groups but at the end of the night one of the benefits of running the meeting is being the last one and I get a chance to usually talk one on one with some of the girls which is really nice.

It was about 9:45 when I closed down the meeting, now I am looking forward to our Wednesday night dinner at Southland Whiskey Kitchen and of course next weekend and some more Susan time. Love who you are and be happy and thanks for sharing this part of my life with me and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

In closing I have a question to ask, I try to keep my blogs right around 1100 words but do go shorter or longer sometimes. Is this too long? Should I cut things out to keep it shorter or split up into 2 blogs. I have had some suggest that 800 words is what I should keep them at, just wondering what you my readers think? Post a comment or e-mail me directly if you have thoughts.

September 11, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , | 1 Comment

%d bloggers like this: