Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday night at Candlelight

Well Friday night was fun again. It was our turn to go to the Candlelight for pool, music and dancing for those who can dance. I got there about 7:30 and Amy was already there as she had got there about 7 so I joined her. We got our usual table and ordered some food. We splint a 4 piece fish and chips as this girl needs to cut down on how much she eats as I want to lose some weight. We had been there about 15 minutes when another t-girl came in and asked if she could join us, her name was Andrea so we sat and got to know each other. She had met Cristine online and found out where we would be so she decided to come out. This was her first time ever out which we all know is hard but as we were at a regular club must have been really hard.

Andrea was really nice and we had a nice chat. Both Amy and I talked about our first time out which was a nice trip down memory lane. We also did the usual girl chat about makeup and nails and all the other girl things which I always enjoy. One of our girls was running real late as she called and said she was having makeup. issues, she had washed it of 3 times because it wasn’t right and was on her fourth time doing her makeup. We have all had that problem at one point although I don’t think I ever went a fourth round on my makeup so our group was small for awhile.

Barb showed up next and she is always so fun, she is one of our dancing girls along with Amy of course. We chatted some more and were really enjoying ourselves. Cristine showed up next so she and Andrea chatted along with the rest of us. I think Andrea was having a fun time but you could see she was a little nervous which is totally understandable. Next to show up was Maya she had on a wonderful Perfume and I asked her what it was but my memory is not as good as it use to be because I cannot remember the name so I will have to ask her again and remember to write it down. Last to show was Cassandra and Wilma (they are usually the first to be anyplace) but it was all good as it doesn’t matter when you get there as long as you do.

We all played some pool, Barb was first and won 3 games, Cassandra won 3 also before she lost to me. It was an awesome game on my part as I played perfectly leaving my balls on the table to block her and in the end I won by having 2 balls that got in her way and she scratched on the 8 ball, all part of my plan. I tried the same plan the next game against Buck (one of the regulars who is just awesome and treats us great) but I finally had to sink one of my last 2 balls and that left the 8 ball open to Buck and he sunk it and won but it was a lot of fun. Wilma (our other dancing t-girl), Barb and Amy spent a lot of time on the dance floor and they are really good of course I can’t dance so I may not be the best judge as dancing with the stars has never called me to be a judge on their show.

The music was good mostly blues but the group did a really good job. Everyone we talked with seemed to either not mined us or liked us being there. One woman told me she thought we were a breath of fresh air, wow what a complement. I really think our group does an outstanding job representing the transgender in a good light. We are always friendly and try to treat others how we ourselves would like to be treated and I think most people pick up on that, after all a smile goes a long way. Seriously I really think attitude is the difference, if you expect problems or confrontations you will probably find them but if your attitude is everything is good and fine most people will pick up on that and everything will be fine. Now I know what you are thinking, there is always exception and that is true. There will always be those people who no matter what will not like you and have an issue but you can’t let them put you down or change who you are or you attitude. Stay away from them and don’t let them ruined your fun. One last thing is always be careful no matter if you are TG or GG, one must always be aware of your surroundings. The old saying bad things happen to good people are true and one must always be careful. So go out have fun make friends and be safe.

They were slow till about 11:30 before they really got busy and even after that it was not as busy as it had been the first few time we were there. I really don’t believe we are the reason their business is off as we only go there once a month now, I think it is just the economy. As I said earlier I have never had a negative comment to me. Well we all had a great time and stayed till about 1:30 before leaving. On the way out we ran into Brook (in boy mode) so we stood outside and chatted for a while. It really was a great night and so much fun to spend times with your best friends, what a way to end a week. Everyone have a great week and I will see you all again next Friday.


September 11, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Back at Candlelight again

Well it was so hot on Friday and I got home from work late so my evening was a little rushed but what is a girl to do. Some of our group is out of town so I wasn’t sure how many girls would be out but it was the week we were going back to the Candlelight. It has been a 4 weeks sense we were there last so I was looking forward to it. As I said I was a little late and didn’t get there till 8 pm. Cristine, Amy and Mia were there already. We went inside and got our table. There were only a couple people there at this time.

I ordered their fish and chips as I was hungry as I hadn’t eaten most of the day and we all sat and talked. The band was already setting up. By 9:30 when the band started to play there were more people. Several of the regulars came over and talked to us a few even asked where we had been and I told them the owners had asked us to come a little less frequent. They thought that was stupid which we all agreed with.

Joan showed up a little later and joined us for a while but she didn’t stay to long. So in the end it was really just the 4 of us but we did have a good time. It was nice to be back plus it also let them know we would be back from time to time. For once Amy and Mia were the last to leave. They actually started to leave several times and then would go out on the dance floor and dance more so in the end Cristine and I left first about 12:30 am. Not as late of a night but with the long day and the hot weather it was late enough.

Saturday it turns out I have off so I am planning on going shopping and may go to Pioneer Place Mall in downtown Portland. It has been many years sense I was there last so should be fun. I will be sure and blog about this too.

August 14, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday July 16 2010

Well I almost didn’t make it out on Friday night as some things came up last minute so I didn’t get home till after 8 pm and I figured it was too late but then Cassandra called me to see where I was and I started to think, I go to Starbuck’s for a couple hours and it’s worth it so why not go to the Candlelight even if I get there late so I did. It was probably the fastest Susan has ever gotten ready, 40 minutes but I did go pretty casual like I do on Wednesday night. When I got there I had to park 2 blocks away as they get busier after 9. Cassandra, Barb, Wilma, and Roxy were there.

It was so nice to be out with my friends. Cassandra and I got to talk and she told me the manager had given her his card and asked her to call her Saturday to discuss some animosity about us being there. This kind of put a damper on the evening as we were all wondering what was up we still had a great time though. Saturday Cassandra talked to the manager and the owner, seems they have had 2 complaints and the first was what we thought. Seems quite a few of the women have been complaining about us using the women’s bathroom and the owner has lost some business. He fully understands what the law says and we have the right to use the woman’s bathroom which puts him in a hard spot. He also said that they like us coming and all the staff likes us but he has asked we maybe come two Fridays a month and tone it down a little. For me I can understand this position he is in as he is trying to accommodate everyone and keep us all happy. The other complaint was that we (our group) win too much at pool. The owner and Manager thought this was funny and not an issue. I think they have been really upfront and handled this well for being in such a tough spot and feel it is reasonable. Well back to Friday night.

As I was sitting talking to Roxy I noticed a lady on the other side of the bar looking at me and then talking to her friend who would look at me. I didn’t pay much attention till I saw her walking over towards me. She came up and said I know you we have met before. The first thought in my mind was where do I know her from as she has recognized me. This is something I have always worried about and was just waiting for her to tell me. I was so relieved when she told me her name was Lori and she was the friend of Mandie and Kathy and I met her at their Christmas party as she helped them put it together. I felt so relieved, I know at some point I am going to run into someone I know as my male self especially as I go out more to mainstream places like Starbuck, the Candlelight and shopping. I am just not sure how I will handle it when it does happen. We talked for a few minutes and then she went back to her friend. When Cassandra finally lost at pool I told her about Lori being there and we went over so Cassandra could talk to her.

The rest of the night was fun and we all had a good time. Everyone we talked to seemed to totally support us being there but I realize we did not talk to everyone and I am sure the people that do have an issue with us are the ones we never get a chance to talk to as they don’t come over by us. One last note I think what is really great about us being there is the fact we have expanded our comfort level and helped to get some of the girls to experience really being out in public, kind of opening up that closet door so many hide behind. Don’t get me wrong, Embers and CC Slaughters are nice but they are also a safe place kind of like playing in the shallow end of a pool. You are in the water but till you wade out to deeper water you really don’t learn to swim and expand your horizon. I really hope that no matter what happens we as a group will keep going to new and more mainstream places because this is the only way we will gain true acceptance and help educate others about us and hopefully someday we will be accepted everywhere as equals.

July 17, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hot Friday at Candlelight

Well I made it out again Friday night to the Candlelight. I was running late as traffic getting home from work was horrible and put me behind, Susan takes a little more work to get ready to go out. I felt rushed which took a little of the fun away from getting ready but that’s okay as I was looking forward to seeing my friends. It was a little before 8 when I finally got to the Candlelight and Cassandra and Wilma were already there. It was so nice to see Wilma as I think the last time was about a year ago. She is very nice and we had a good chance to talk for a while.

Rachel showed up to have a girls night out with us which was so fun as she is really exception and supportive and so much fun to be around. We all sat and talked and just had a really pleasant time. Cristine, Amy and Mia also showed up. Cassandra was worried no one would be there because of the heat; it was almost 100 today which is really hard on ones makeup. We all played pool even Rachel who we really had to convince to play. I lost 2 games and won 2 games (even won against Cassandra).

The band started to play about 9:30 and by 10 they had a pretty good crowed but still the smallest I have seen their sense we have been going. I think people just didn’t want to go out in the heat as even our group was small. They had their Air conditioner working but with all the people inside it still got really hot, I felt like my makeup was sliding off my face. I don’t know how the people who were dancing did it without passing out from the heat but the dance floor was busy.

We did have our first negative experience; a couple guys (who had too much to drink) were laughing and talking about us. But their girlfriends tried to get them to calm down. My personal thought is they were upset as their girlfriend talked to us a couple times (once the one guy came over and told her to get over with him) and she just kept talking to us for a while which I think got him a little more upset and you add the alcohol he drank in and there you go. But when you look at the big picture this is such a small percentage it really is insignificant. Two jerks out of the hundreds of people we have met there it is almost laughable and not worth a second thought. I mean really you can’t expect everyone to like you weather you dress or not. Some people just won’t like you no matter what and that is their problem. I only mention it sense I have really had no problems but want everyone to know there will be times you do, just keep your head up and be true to yourself. Well enough about that.

Well we really did have a great time. Towards the end of the evening we met a GG (Heather) she came over to talk to us and told us how pretty we all were which is always nice to hear. She sat and talked to us for about 20 minutes, just really enjoyable but it was after 1 and we were all getting tired so we called it a night. It was another wonderful evening.

I am now looking forward to next Friday night as this week I have to work on Wednesday night and will not be able to go to Starbucks. Maybe I should try Tuesday or Thursday nnight. Will have to think about it.

July 10, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night at Candlelight

Well I made it out again to the Candlelight Friday night. It was a fun night but I want to take a moment to go back a few days as this has been a very stressful week. One of my friends in the group has been going through some really rough times. Wednesday night when I got home from Starbucks she had posted an e-mail to our group that really worried me. She is doing better but it seems everything hit her at once. I was worried she might hurt herself. She thought she was all alone and nobody cared for her. The group all e-mailed her worried about her which is one of the great things about our group we have a wonderful support network. I have e-mails her several times and she know she has friends and is loved. What I have learned is not to take your friends for granted. You need to tell them how special they are to you because you never know what the future holds. I want all my friends to know how special you all are to me. You have all helped Susan grow so much and I cannot imagine my life without any of you.

Well Friday night at the Candlelight was so fun. We got there about 7:30 and at that time it is not really busy so we had a chance to eat and talk. It didn’t take long and soon we had a huge group and were taking up both tables by the pool table. As usual about 9 people started to show up and soon the place was packed, standing room only. The group that played was really good but a little louder than last week. But what was really great was spending time with my friends. They are still having problems with their air conditioner so it was really warm inside and they kept closing the back door which made it hotter. We were all talking about next week when it will be in the upper 80’s or low 90’s. It will be so hot inside there. All the people here at the Candlelight are so nice and so far all have been really accepting of our group. The owner and staff have gone out of their way to make us feel welcome.

I hope to go out again tonight (Saturday) and meet some of the other girls at Embers. Have a great 4th of July tomorrow.

July 3, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night at the candle light

Well Susan was out again of Friday night. The weather was just perfect. I got all dressed up in my white skirt I had bought for the Las Vegas trip; it is so cute and perfect for summer. I got to the candle light room about 7:30 and a couple of the other girls were just getting out of their cars, what great timing. We all met at the front door and walked in together. Cassandra, Roxy, Cristine and I talked for a bit trying to decide if we should sit inside or outside as it was so nice. We settled on going inside as there was a little bit of a wind and we didn’t want to mess up our hair, we are such girls. We found a table over by the pool tables and sat down. It wasn’t long and we all ordered some food, I skipped dinner as I really wanted their fish & chips. They are so good.

As normal on Friday others started to show up and our group grew. Amy and Mia, Peggy, Barb, Marla, Jan & Lyn, Buffy, Siobhan, & Kelly, what a fun group. We played some pool; I only played 1 game and lost but came close to winning. We were both on the 8 ball but I missed my shot and they didn’t. The Candle Light is a really friendly place and the people there are just great. I even got to meet the owner and his girlfriend. They are awesome; his girlfriend kept bringing people she knew over to introduce them to us. I met so many new people last night I wouldn’t even be able to come close to remembering their names.

Some of the girls were out dancing and having a great time while some were playing pool and the rest of us talking. Being a small place it keeps you all together as the dance floor is on 20 feet or so from the pool table. This one older lady at the table next to us kept looking at me and finally came over and told me how much she liked my top and we talked for a few minutes. She was at the table next to us with some of her family and they were all so nice. Cassandra was the first to go and talk to them, she is really good about starting up conversations with people she doesn’t know anyway soon they had us all come over so they could meet us all. They were totally cool with us. Let me see I think their names were Joel and his wife Vicki and Elisea. We talked with them on and off the whole night.

Being a smaller place it does get warm inside, there was a breeze though so with the front and back door open it wasn’t as hot as last week but I still needed to get some fresh air so Peggy and I went out back to cool off and there were all kinds of people outside and they were so nice. Several GG’s came over and talked to us and they all said how beautiful I was which made me feel great as a girl always like to be told she is beautiful. A couple were pretty hammered and I doubt they will even remember talking to me but it was still so much fun. Back inside Cassandra had found her game and had now won several games of pool in a row.

They had a different jazz group from last week; they have different ones each night so you get a good mix of music which is also nice. I still like Embers but you see pretty much the same show every time you are there so after a while you get a little board. Got a little of track there as I said they had good music but just a little louder than last week so talking was a little harder. Also being crowded several drinks got spilled as the tables are really narrow and with all our purses piled up like a mountain well those things happen. One of the girls knocked over Siobhan’s cosmopolitan and some of it went on my white skirt. As a guy this would not have fazed me but as Susan I was up and off to clean it right away. I am sure Alice knows how this is as I knocked over a wine once when I was out with her and she got some on her. Anyway It looks like I got it all out and everything is fine. She was so sorry for knocking it over I really felt bad for her as it really was no big thing as these things happen.

Well as the night wound down and people started to leave I was amazed at how many came by and said goodnight to us. I just can’t get over how friendly the people are there. Elisea the girl from the next table asked us if we would be back next week and we all said yes. It turns out this was her first time there and she said she wants to come back next week if we will be there. How cool is that. I want to thank the owner and his girlfriend for being so great; they have done a great job making the Candle Light a fun friendly place to go. A lot of the people there were the same as last week so you get to know people. I guess it kind of reminds me of the bar Cheers in then TV show, a place where everyone knows your name as several people I met last week remembered me and even my name. I am going to have to really make an effort to learn their names which will be hard as I am terrible at remembering names. Any way we are already planning on being there again next Friday night, can’t wait.

Saturday I have some things I have to take care of in the early afternoon but may try to get out for a little shopping or something Saturday night. I would go to Embers but several of the girls are going up to Seattle Saturday afternoon so they can be there Sunday for their Pride parade so I don’t think anyone will be out tonight. Oh well will see what I can do. It is strange to have a Saturday evening free and with the holiday next week I should also have next Saturday free also.

Well I hope you all have a wonderful week, bye. J

June 26, 2010 Posted by | Candle Light, crossdress, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment


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