Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday and a late start to being Susan

Well it is the last weekend of August, where has the time gone. I got up about 9 as I have an appointment to look at new cars at 10:30 yes you have to make an appointment now days. I have been looking online and have pretty much decided on what I want but do want to test drive them. Now besides making an appointment masks are also required so yes, I decided to put on some lipstick as a matter of fact it is the same red, I will wear later today. Now I have been wearing lipstick all week to work under my mask but a very neutral color that wouldn’t stand out that much that from a distance it would be hard to tell, today is bright and I love it. Now when I set up the appointment 2 days ago it was with a man but when they confirmed my appointment this morning, I am now dealing with a woman which is so much better. I got there a little early and put my mask on and walked onto the lot and looked at a few cars before going in. the lady who would help me today had beautiful long coffin shaped acrylic nails in a pink to white French fade, this hast to be a sign. Well I looked at several cars 2020 & 2021 and, in the end, I went with a 2021 Corolla, so I now have a new car. It was about 1 pm when all the paperwork was done, and I was on my way home with my new car. The funny thing is I had forgot all about having the red lipstick on till I took my mask off in my car when I left and saw it in the rear-view mirror. I got home and started getting ready for my day as Susan.

Now I have no real plans today, so I took my time getting ready again focusing on my eyes. I think I am doing this more just because if I go out, I have to wear a mask which hides my lips, but my eyes are still visible. I was all ready at about 2:45 so I decided I would hook up my phone through the Android car play. When I left the dealer I set up my phone on Bluetooth so I can do the hands free calling but the car play I need my charging wire, this allows the car to access my phone and I can show my phones GPS navigation on the cars screen. So here I am all dressed up with my beautiful eyes and red lips out sitting in my car in my driveway in front of my house setting up my phone. It probably took less then 15 minutes but again something a few years ago I would have never done. The other thing I did was take my spare key and put it with my spare house key and made me a key chain just for Susan to keep in my purse, now I just need to figure out a way to get a second driver’s license and I would be set. I went back inside and got a few pictures and then decided to take a ride in my new car as Susan.

I drove down to Cascade Station by the airport and they were packed there, lines to get into almost every store, one of the drawbacks of the lockdowns from the virus. I know they have to do it, but it really is inconvenient if you want to go shopping on the weekends. Well I had my computer so I drove by the Starbucks there and they were not real busy but the only outside tables were in the sun and it looked a little windy and as I wore my long blonde wig I decided to keep going. After all this really was about driving my car. On my way back home, I decided to see how the Starbucks was on Mill Plain just off I-205 which is a pretty big one. They had lots of tables, 5 on one side of which 3 were in the shade. 5 on the sunny side of the building and a few on the far side which was all in the shade any way there were a couple tables in the shade so I parked and went in and got a drink and then came out and sat outside. It was nice and relaxing, and I got a chance to start my blog for today.

Now a few of the girls are going out today for one of the girls Birthday, it will actually be her first time going out and they are going to Who Song and Larry’s on the Columbia River for dinner. I have been going back and forth on this as I think they have 8 going so a little bigger group plus I wasn’t sure how long my car shopping would go. Any way I posted in the group that if there was room I would go, and I asked about the time. I think it is 5:30 but not sure. If I don’t hear I may just swing by at 5:30 and see what it looks like and if they are there. The main reason is a few of the girls are new and I have not met them yet. I left here about 5:10 and drove down to Who song and Larry’s just to see. I got there about 5:20 and there was a line outside waiting to get in and I didn’t see any of the girls, so I parked where I could watch the front door. Not I am not sure on the time I thought they said about this time but then normally we meet at 7 but it gave me time to play with some of the features on my new car. I only stayed abut 20 minutes before heading home.

Now on the way home I realized I have not eaten all day, so I decided to stop at Panda Express and get something to take home as it is about 6pm now. I got there and of course I had to get picture in my car, the first picture in my new car. There were 3 people at the counter ordering, 1 man behind them and then me just barely in the door. Now it took for ever for them to order and I finally figured out why, they ordered 12 to go plates, by the time they finished their order there were 11 people waiting outside in 5 groups. Finally, it was my turn to order, and I ordered my normal but the big order in front of me took all the teriyaki, so I had to wait about 8 minutes for them to cook more. The young lady asked me if that was okay and I said yes. She wrote what I wanted on my box and then said Susan right and I said yes, and she wrote my name on my box. Now I was coming here on Saturday’s, but it has been 4 weeks since I have been here as Susan and she remembered my name, how awesome is that. I got my food and went home to relax the rest of the evening. I really need to enjoy today as tomorrow I will be spending the day with my mom so no Susan tomorrow.

I got home and ate my dinner and worked on this blog. The rest of the night will just be watching my normal Saturday night TV shows at home and will finish my blog during the commercials. I will probably stay up till 11 tonight before going to bed. I will get to be Susan on Wednesday evening again and will have another Zoom meeting with my friends but next weekend I think my Brother will be in town so I may have to skip that weekend which will be the first weekend in months, but I do have my vacation coming up in a week in a half so I am looking forward to that. No going to Las Vegas but I am trying to figure out a way to get my acrylic nails even if just at home. will see how that works.

Stay safe and stay positive and love who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.


August 29, 2020 Posted by | Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night Zoom meeting with my friends.

It is once again Wednesday, and I get to spend a few hours on a video chat with my wonderful friends. I really look forward to this time as I really do miss getting together with my friends. Now this week I got home early so I was able to take my time getting ready which I love. I took my time on my eyes as I did my eyebrows a little different today and I think they turned out well. I also went with the red lipstick as I wanted to wear my red dress today, a pretty look, I think. I was all ready by 5:30 so I had time and decided to make a quick trip to McDonalds to get some dinner. I got my purse and walked out to the car and was off. It is so nice to just go and not worry about what people will think. I got back home and sat out on my deck and ate my dinner.

Now it was time to get some pictures for my blog. I also talked to my mom for a while. It was ab out 6:50 when I went inside and got my computer set up for the meeting. As soon as I started it there were girls joining. It was so good to see and I was really looking foreword to a fun night. tonight, we had a good turnout, Jennifer, Nicole, Julie, Melissa, Jeannie, Antonia, Jan & Lynn, Dawnie, Robin, Beccah, Cyndee and me. Now it was a wonderful night as this was the first time Beccah and Cyndee have been able to join us. I have met Cyndee a couple times at the Escape probably over a year ago, I don’t think I have met Beccah before, so it was nice to get to know them better. It really is wonderful as we have got several new girls on these video meetings and I think it is because they can join safely from their homes. Now those of us that had our video on took turns showing our outfits, the reason I wore my red dress. Everyone looked awesome.

Now it was time for Jenifer’s question. She was out shopping and noticed that some male cloths are more colorful and maybe what would be considered more feminine in style. The question was would we wear these clothes if it was acceptable for men. Now again this is just my opinion and what is right for me. For me I would not wear them, nothing against them but for me it is all about the total look. I like female clothes not men’s clothes that look like feminine clothes. Now some of the girls felt as I do, and some liked the idea and would wear them and that is wonderful as we are a diverse group and we are all a little different in some ways. Now this got us talking about gender neutral clothing. Now again I have never really paid attention to this as it is not something, I am interested in, so it was nice to hear others thought. Some of them said a lot of gender-neutral clothes are baggy as the point is to hide the body’s shape and curves and I guess if you want to appear gender neutral this would be what you want.

We talked more and had a wonderful conversation and yes, we talked about our hope we will be able to go out to dinner again soon. The virus has really impacted lives this year. Now it is hard, but I always try to find the positive side of things as that makes things better. Well I was telling them the upside to wearing a mask all the time. Where I work, we have to wear a mask the whole time we are at work unless we are eating well all week long, I have been wearing lipstick to work under my mask. Not very bright, but enough that without the mask people would notice, the colors this week are Twig and Devine wine. Now I know under the mask no one can see it, but I know it is there and I can feel it on my lips, and I love it. Yes, I get to wear lipstick every day now.

It was about 9 when girls started to sign off, a few of us stayed on longer, Dawnie, Julie, Jan & Lynn and me. It is nice when we have big groups as everyone can be involved in the same conversation but it is also slow as it takes a while to get everyone in to talk, by 9:30 it was just Jan & Lynn and me still on and we talked a little longer before we called it a night about 9:50. It was a good night. now I am looking forward to Saturday. My weekend this week will be limited as Sunday I will spend with my mom as I can finally take her out for a while. The other thing is on Saturday I need to go look at cars as I got word from my insurance company, they have totaled my car, so I guess I get a new one a few years early. In case you didn’t know I was in a car wreck a couple weeks ago as my male self this time. The last time I was in an accident was 6 ½ years ago when I got rear ended which also totaled my car but that time I was driving as Susan. yes I was in a car wreck once while out as Susan. now this is something I always worried about and still do sometimes and yes, the last couple weeks I have thought about it more. We always plan everything out but the unexpected can always happen. Also have a vacation coming up in a couple weeks and I will get a lot of Susan time then.

Stay safe and stay positive and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 29, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday Susan time

It is Sunday and my plan for the day was to go over and see my mom at 11 and spend 1 ½ hours with her till it was time for her to eat lunch and then I would go home and spend the rest of the day as Susan. I got up about 9 and took care of some things and about 10:30 I called over to tell them I would be there at 11 to spend time with my mom and found out they had another possible exposer and I can see my mom today as a matter of fact it will be Thursday at the earliest which was sad and I know my mom will have a hard time with it so I called and we talked for about an hour. It was about 11:30 when I went and took my shower and started getting ready as Susan. Now I was watching a video on softening lips and making them look plumper and one of the videos had a do it yourself way so I decided to try it, actually I have used it the last few days. It is olive oil, some granular sugar and a little cinnamon and you mix it to it is almost a paste. You put it on your lips and let it set a few minutes and then rub with your fingertips and it does soften them and remove the dry skin. Well I actually have tried this on my face, and I think it helps exfoliate my skin. My makeup goes on easier and the pores on my nose seem smaller or at least less noticeable, but it also softens the facial hair and gives me a soother shave, even did it on my neck today. I like it. It was about 1 pm when I was all ready and today, I did a more dramatic eye look but went with my brownish lipstick and I went with my big hoop earrings.

I went downstairs and got a few pictures. I sat on my couch and watched a couple episodes of Happy Days, but I really just didn’t want to be inside my house. So, I thought it was another day at Starbucks at least for a couple hours till my battery goes dead. I got my purse and my computer and walked out the front door. I still haven’t heard on my car what the insurance will do so I still have the rental car. As I got to the driveway, I could see the 2 neighbor girls working in their front yard, I know one of them knows about Susan as her mom knows and she has seen me many times drive by. I just casually walked to the car and got in. As I drove by, she waved, and I waved back. Now I drove by the Starbuck’s by my bouse and they were open and no one was sitting at the 6 tables they have out front so I thought I would stop here, it is less than a ½ mile from my house but the tables are in the shade now. I was planning on going to the one I was at yesterday, but I also like this one. Now being a spur of the moment stop I did forget my face mask when I walked in, I didn’t even think of it and I felt bad as the lady behind the counter pointed it out, I told her I could go get it but I was going to sit outside so she took my order and said she would bring my drink out to me which was very nice. I went out and set up my computer at one of the tables right by the door so I could watch the people come and go. She brought my drink out to me and complimented me on my nails which caught me off guard as I just have clear nail hardener on them although they are a little long and nicely shaped. I thanked her.

I had been here about 5 minutes and a man sat down at the far table outside and he was on his cell phone talking with someone and he was a little loud as I could hear him even though we were probably 20 feet apart. A few minutes later a man and woman sat down at one of the tables, then a single woman at another and then a group of 6 girls probably high school age and although there was still 1 table left the group of girls had taken the chairs from around that table so it was full outside. Now the weather is perfect today about 80 and no breeze and sitting in the shade is perfect. It is different though as this Starbucks is at the end of a busy shopping complex and lots of cars drive by, so you are just sitting out here in full view of everyone, but I was fine with it. I think back to my first trips to Starbuck’s when it was dark out and I would drive a ½ hour to go to one 15 miles from where I lived so no one I know would see me and now I am so close to my house sitting outside on the sidewalk during the middle of the day. Wow I have come a long way in the last 10 years. It is hard to believe how many times I have been Susan this year even though a lot of it has been at home. My best year was 2016 when I had 135 blogs that year or that many times out as Susan. this blog marks my 100th of this year so 100 times and we are not even 2/3 of the way through the year, I am thinking I could hit 150 times this year which is a lot. Even though we are not going to Las Vegas in September I still have my 2 weeks off so I will get a lot of Susan time, I have vacation I need to use. I am hoping to maybe get some of the girls to go golfing or maybe a little shopping or lunch during that time. Now as I sat here by the door 2 people, a man and woman I use to work with came in and walked right by me which is always a little intense as neither of them has no idea about this side of me and of course I wondered while they were inside if they would sit down outside with me. Luckily, they got their drinks and left.

I stayed at Starbucks till a little after 5, I turned off some of the applications on my computer and dimmed the screen and that helped my battery life some. Then I decided to put my computer in the car and walk up to Albertson’s, I have only gone here a couple times as Susan as I have shopped here for many years as my male self and know a lot of the employee’s but again with the mask, hair and makeup no one would recognize me but I did walk to the door without my mask. I did get some produce and then back to the deli to get some chicken, the 2 ladies working here have been here for years so they know me pretty well so there was a little bit of wondering on my part, would they recognize me or my voice so I did soften it down some the best I can. I can actually do a pretty fair job on a feminine voice if I am really trying the problem is I have to focus on my voice and not the conversation and then if my mind goes back to the conversation my voice slips back, but what I can do is speak in a softer voice and that actually makes a big difference also and easier to do, not totally feminine but a lot different from my normal voice so that is what I did. there were no signs they recognized me not even sure they realized I wasn’t female although I am sure they did. I got some chicken tenders and jo jo’s and then went to the check out and paid and again the checker I went through has been here for years. I got my groceries and left the store and took my mask off and walked back towards my car. Now I still had about 30 minutes left on my computer and there was still a table open at Starbucks so I got my computer out of the car, set it up on the table with my dinner and then went into Starbucks again and got another Sweetened Green tea and sat out front and had dinner. I got the idea as the group of young girls had brought food to eat also. It was nice kind of like a picnic outside Starbucks. It was the reflect afternoon out. It was 6 when my battery finally went dead, and it was time to call my afternoon out to and end.

It only took a couple minutes to get home and I decided to watch a couple more movies, the first was Ghost Busters (the original one) which I recorded as it was just starting when I left for Starbucks and that was more important and Mutiny on the bounty . It has been a good weekend. I will be in bed by 10 as I have to get up early and go to work tomorrow. I also set up another Zoom meeting for Wednesday night with my friends.

Stay safe and stay positive always look on the bright side of things life is way better that way and be happy with who you are, only you can make yourself happy. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 23, 2020 Posted by | Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A fun Saturday as Susan

I got up today about 9 as I was up really late last night doing
my blog from Wednesday so it was a little later start for the day. I took my time getting ready and took extra time on my eyebrows and eyes. I really love doing my makeup and starting my day this way is so much better. I picked one of my dangly earrings for the day, yes, I am really loving having pierced ears. I was all dressed by 11 and went downstairs to get a few pictures and then watched a movie called Ms. Matched on Hallmark channel, I have been watching a lot of movies on this channel lately. My movie got over at 1 and the next movie I have seen before so I checked a few other channels and found nothing but it was a really nice day out upper 70’s and I thought to myself why not sit outside and enjoy the weather and do some things on my computer. Then I got thinking what about going to Starbucks and sitting outside there. I bet you guessed what I did. I grabbed my purse and was on my way. Now I have a rental car right now so I am parking in my drive in front of my house and I just walked out the front door and walked to the car and got in like it was totally normal.

I got to Starbucks about 1:15 and parked. There were a mane and woman sitting at the table to the left of the door going in and 2 women at the table to the right but there were still 2 tables to the right open so I grabbed my computer and went inside with my mask on and ordered my drink and a cookie as I haven’t eaten yet today. I got my drink and went back outside and sat at the table next to the women. Ow this time of day this side of the building is still in the shade but it was still nice although every once in a while the breeze would pick up and it was just a little cool but then I was in a skirt and short sleeve top.

Now it is nice sitting outside and even nicer being around other people, the tables are about 6 feet apart and yes, we weren’t wearing masks but as I said there was a little breeze. Now I did get a quick picture when no one was looking. Not the best picture but is was done in a hurry. Now no one seemed to pay any attention to me I was just another person enjoying the day. Now I had been here about 30 minutes when I heard loud music and the women next to me must have heard it too as we all looked around. A car came around the corner and the music was loud, I don’t know how the drive stood the noise. Any way the one lady said wow that was loud, and the other lady looked right at me and said I guess he will have hearing issues later in life, so I agreed. Well this opened it up a little and the 3 of us briefly talked a little before they went back to their conversation. It was a nice afternoon and I stayed here till 3:30 before going home but only briefly.

I touched up my makeup and was off again but this time to Cascade Station to do a little shopping, I wanted to go to Best Buy and Ross Dress for Less and maybe a couple other stores. I got there a little after 4 and parked and went into Ross to look around, yes, I had my mask on. I looked around and they had a few cute dresses but just not in my size, so I left. Now I thought about going to ULTA and the Nordstrom Rack, but both had lines waiting to go in and I really wanted to take the mask off briefly. I got to my car and drove down to best Buy and put my mask back on and went in and looked around a little. I am thinking of getting a new computer as mine is getting old and the battery only lasts about 2 hours. Now I am just looking and probably won’t buy one yet as other then my battery mine works fine and I imagine in another month I probably won’t be sitting outside to much. Any way it was nice just to be out but really wish we didn’t have the need to wear the face masks.

It was a little after 5 and it was time for dinner and there is an IHOP just across the street, they have good food and I don’t feel so out of place going there for dinner by myself. I parked in their lot but there was as sign to use the front door, so I walked around and went in. they were not busy only about 4 groups of people so I was shown to a booth and sat down. Now I did get a quick picture. My waitress came over to take my order and I asked her how the virus was affecting them, and we started talking. As I said they were not busy, and she stood there, and we talked for probably 5 minutes before she took my order. It was really nice as I love interaction with people like this. I had a nice dinner and the waitress came by several times to check on me and we chatted briefly each time she was awesome, yes, I left a nice tip for her.

I got home a little after 6 and decided to watch another Hallmark Channel movie “wedding every weekend” and it was good. Of course, the even with zapping out commercials it wouldn’t be over by 7 so I recorded all my Saturday night shows. I will spend the rest of the night at home watching TV and will stay up till after midnight again, so it is good I slept in a little this morning. I also worked on my blog as I watched TV. It was a really good day. tomorrow I will go see my mom before lunch and hopefully be home by 1 to start my day as Susan. I have been getting a lot of Susan time these last few months but I will have to cut back a little as it sounds like they are easing the restrictions on care facilities and that means I will be able to take my mom out so I am planning on spending Sundays with her now so I may try to be Susan on another night during the week occasionally.

Stay safe and stay positive as things will get better and back to normal.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.



August 22, 2020 Posted by | Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night Zoom meeting

It is Wednesday and I get another chance to be Susan and do a video meeting with my friends tonight. Now I have been getting home early but not today it was 6 by the time I got home so it would be more of a rush tonight. Now I usually call my mom and we talk a while before my meeting, but I was running late so I called her and talked to her on speaker phone as I was doing my makeup. Now she doesn’t know about this side of me her daughter and at her age I don’t see an upside in telling her besides as this is just part of who I am, and I am not transitioning. I don’t think I need to tell people who I don’t plan on being Susan around. I finished my makeup and finished my phone call with my mom and I still had 15 minutes to get dressed, put on hair and jewelry. I was all ready by 6:55 and went downstairs and got a few quick pictures before starting the meeting.

I started the meeting right at 7 and girls were waiting. We had 9 of us tonight, Jennifer, Julie, April, Dawnie, Melissa, Nicole, Jeannie, Antonia and of course me. We all talked for a while and caught up on what has been going on the last week, I really like this part. Now tonight it was Julie’s turn for the big news as she came out to her daughter this past week. I am so happy for her as it went great. Well that brought us to one of Jennifer’s question, is there someone you wish you could or would like to tell. Now we all had someone and for most it was family and yes, I have wondered about my brother and what he would think but for me I think it would be my best friend on my male side. Now I don’t see him much anymore but we still text and talk with each other. I have known him for over 40 years and he actually rented a room from me years ago for a few years. I really think he would be okay with this side of me but then there is the 40year friendship which is a long time and I just don’t see an upside to telling him as I don’t plan on being Susan around him but there is that little part of me that feels bad not telling him and I guess that also go for my brother also. We all agreed it is the fact we are hiding part of who we are.

We talked some more, and we are all tired of the lockdowns and all want so bad for things to get back to normal. We know it will be a while, but we all miss our getting together in person for dinners. It is amazing how social I am as Susan. as my male self I do keep more to myself and I really think it is because I hide part of my life. Now I often think about this and the fact I am hiding part of who I am but it is just part of me and there are other parts of me I don’t share with others so I am still okay with this.

Now tonight we were going to try and share pictures, so I needed to figure out how to let the others share their computer, yes, I am still learning how Zoom works. I am sure we only use a small amount of what this program can do. Now I was able to get it going and we each took turns showing some of our favorite pictures. I picked several from past Diva Las Vegas. It was fun to see everyone pictures and of course I got to look back on some of my old pictures and blogs as I went through them to find some. It is one of the great things about having a blog. It is amazing that I have had this blog for 14 years now.

We talked for a while more and it was just before 9 when girls started calling it a night, seems about 2 hours is the limit although a few of us went longer and in the end it was just Julie and me again, I really like talking with her as we have so much in common. It was about 9:30 when we called it a night. these zoom meeting really does help me get through not being able to get together with my friends.

Stay safe and stay happy. Now I am looking forward to the weekend and some more Susan time.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 22, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sunday Susan time at home

Another Sunday at home but not till the afternoon. I got up a little later as I stayed up late last night and took care of somethings I needed to do early and then went over to have lunch with my mom, I can take food over and we can sit outside and eat which is nice so it was about 2 when I got home to start my time as Susan.

I took my time getting ready and doing my makeup as I really have nothing planned for today so it will be a quiet day at home. I really do enjoy this me time. I was all ready by a little after 3 to start my day. now I came downstairs and got a few pictures before going out on my deck for a while to do some work and play on my computer. It was a nice afternoon. About 5:30 I went to the Grocery store by my house to get something for dinner, I think this is only the second time I have gone here as Susan as I have shopped here for years as my male self and know most of the workers. I picked up some Chicken Breasts, baked potato, and an ear of corn. I got to the front end and all 3 checkers I know so I just picked one and went through, with the face mask no one would recognize me anyway. I got my food and was back home before 6.

I got my grill going and partially cooked the bake potato in the microwave while the grill heated up. now it was time to BBQ. I really love my food this way and it is so awesome to be out on my deck BBQing as Susan. I did it on my deck and eat of course I still had my computer out there. After dinner it was back inside to watch some TV.

I watched a couple movies on Hallmark channel, not Christmas movies but they are all romance type movies which I admit I like to watch. I guess it is my feminine side of me. I stayed up till about 11 before ending my night and removing my makeup, always sad.

Stay safe and stay positive and always look to the bright side of things.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 20, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday and a day of Susan

Well it is Saturday and an extremely hot weekend, today it is supposed to be 100 out and tomorrow 101 before dropping back into the mid 90’s on Monday. I got up at 8:30 today and started my day getting Susan ready, I really do like starting the day as Susan. now I took my time today as I really wanted to get my makeup especially my eyes perfect. It took me over 2 hours today and I was happy with how everything turned out. I went for my long blonde hair and my supper dress to start. I went downstairs and of course got some pictures. Now it was still early enough that it wasn’t super-hot out yet, so I set my awning up on my deck and took my computer outside to enjoy the fresh air before it got to hot. It was a little warm even in the shade so I knew I wouldn’t last too long but it was nice while I could be outside. It was about noon when I came back inside and made a quick lunch just a half sandwich as my plan today is to go to IHOP for dinner. I am tired of fast food and really want to go someplace and eat and last Saturday was so nice when I went there even if it was by myself.

I watched a little TV and did some work I needed to get done. I so love being able to do work as Susan as it completes everything. For years Susan was just something I hid in my room and never really thought or imagined she could be more. Eventually I worked up the courage to take a late-night drive and then finally go out to an LGBT club and meet others like me. It really is a progression and it is true we never stop growing in who we are. When I started going out to everyday type places and just being me, I thought I was complete. But there was still something more I found. For years I joked that my male side took care of Susan and pretty much gave her everything she wanted which is true. My male side is more thrifty when it comes to spending money, do I need it, will I use it, can I di without it, but if Susan wants something my male side is only to happy to get it for her. But now when I do some of my work as Susan even though it is my males’ job in a way it is like Susan is working and making the money and that is a satisfying feeling. As I said we are always growing in who we are, and I know in a few years there will be other new things. The one thing I know is I am not unhappy with my body and do not want to change it. That being said maybe at some point I will live more of my life as Susan or maybe where I am now will be enough or maybe I will cut back I don’t know what the future will bring but changing my sex will not be a part of it. I may sound so confident on this and I am, but it took me years to figure this out. the only advice I will give is take the time to figure out for yourself what is right for you and don’t let me or anyone else tell you how you should feel or live your life. This is only how I feel and what is right for me.

I watched TV till about 4 and then it was time for dinner well a quick change and then dinner. I didn’t want to wear my dress to IHOP, so I changed into my black skirt and maroon top and then it was time to leave. Now it looks like the house across from me sold as there are several cars there today along with a U-Haul and people moving in. now normally I park in the garage and I don’t even care when I leave but right now I am parking in the drive way. A short side note in case anyone noticed I didn’t blog last Sunday about my afternoon as Susan well I had to skip last Sunday. Sunday morning I was going over to see my mom and about a ½ mile from my house I went through an intersection and a truck turned right into me so I have a rental car right now and of course my Garage Door opener is in my car at the shop. Well with my new neighbors moving things I just walked out to the car and got in and left. I really don’t think they saw me as they really were behind the U-Haul moving things in through the garage, but I figured eventually they will see me leave so why worry.

I got to IHOP by the mall about 4:30 and there were only a few cars there, so they were not busy. I put my face mask on to walk in and I was shown a to a booth. I was right, there were 2 elderly women at the far booth, 1 man at another booth and a couple at another booth. I guess the heat is keeping people in today. My waitress came over and she was really nice, I ordered, and she commented that what I ordered was her favorite item on the menu, I got the roast chicken breast, corn and mashed potato and of course a salad. So much healthier than fast food. she brought me my salad and Pepsi and talked to me a little more about the weather and of course I asked her how the virus had affected them and she stood there and talked with me about it, like I said they were not busy. I had a nice dinner out and the couple in the other booth left and shortly after another couple came in but that was it while I was there and I took my time so I was there probably 45 minutes.

I got home a little after 5 and parked in the drive and went into my house and I just wasn’t ready to be done so I changed my hair as I wanted to go to Starbucks and I always wear the same hair. I grabbed my computer and back out to my car. I drove to the Starbucks I normally go to but I noticed the tables outside were in the sun so I went back to the one by my house only to find them closed so it was back to my regular Starbucks. I figured the umbrellas would give me a little shade. now I was here on Tuesday but didn’t recognize any of the workers and other then that I have not been here since early March, over 5 months ago. Well I got my computer and walked in and I no more then entered the door and I heard my name, one of the ladies here recognized me and from across the shop said Hi Susan great to see you again. That was awesome and reminded me of the TV show Cheer’s when Norm walked in. It really made my day. I ordered a Sweetened green iced tea and a chocolate chip cookie after all I had a salad with dinner. she had the cookie all ready and gave it to me and after I paid I noticed it was only 2.95 so I asked her if she got my green iced tea and she said yes, she gave me the cookie for free which was unexpected. Now I did briefly sit inside as I was the only customer inside but I felt bad not wearing a mask inside even though I was eating and it is okay so as soon as the table outside got in the shade I moved outside. Now it was still hot even sitting in the shade but there was a slight breeze which helped. I actually sat outside Starbucks till 7:30 before going back home for the rest of the evening. I really have missed going out.

I got home and the rest of the night I will just watch TV and write my blog during commercials. Stay safe and be happy with who you are. Now I am looking forward to some time Sunday Afternoon as Susan.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 15, 2020 Posted by | Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night Zoom meeting with friends

Another Wednesday and I have been looking forward to spending a few hours with my friends online tonight. I really do miss being able to get together in person with them. This past Tuesday I did get out some probably the most I have in months and I enjoyed it, I am really looking forward to things getting back to normal. Now I did get home early so I had plenty of time to get ready and enjoy my transformation and get a little more Susan time. Today I was all ready and dressed by 5:30 so I had a while till my meeting with my friends. Of course, the first thing was to get some pictures. Now I had time, so I took my computer outside on my deck and enjoyed a little sunshine and did some work. I could here the neighbor kids playing in their yard as I talked to my mom on the phone. I stayed out there till about 6:50 before going inside and quickly setting up for my meeting.

I started the meeting just before 7 and girls were there to log on. Nicole, Jennifer, Julie, Danika, Melissa, Jeanie, Antonia, Samantha and of course me were all logged on by shortly after 7. It was so wonderful to see everyone again and of course we talked briefly to see what was new with everyone and catch up. about 7:30 Vivian joined in; she is one of our newer members. She also had a friend with her I think names Stephany and her wife briefly which was nice. Well of course we all wanted to know a little about Stephany and it was nice to get to know her a little. Now Jennifer had a wonderful idea. We all took turns standing up and stepping back so everyone could see our outfits for the night which was a lot of fun. I think we may do this more. Everyone looked awesome by the way.

Now it was time for one of Jennifer’s question and that was what is the one thing that makes you complete that you really focus on when transforming. Now we all had some differences and some in common. For some of the girls it is the total look, being completely transformed, some it was the hair or makeup. Now for me it is the complete picture I am going for, but I also realize that there are smaller parts. I will admit that in general the most important thing is my nails even though right now I am not focusing on them just being at home. I also went through a time where it was all about my lips and the lipstick I picked, getting them lined exactly right and shaped, maybe over drawing them to make them look plumper. It took some work to get what works for me. I also spent a lot of time on my eye shadow and blending them. Now I am really focusing on my eyebrows and eye liner. I find focusing on small parts of my makeup helps me get better at it. I really do enjoy doing my makeup and yes, it is the whole look, but I do find myself at times really working on just one part. It is nice to have these questions and hear how the other girls feel and think. For years growing up I really thought I was the only one who felt this way and I now know I am not, and it really helped me meeting others like me and learning about them.

The other question was what we like to do to relax as kind of hobbies. Now I don’t normally cross my 2 sides like this, but I did tonight. I don’t seem to have much time any more for my hobbies, but I use to like going hiking and fishing and yes even hunting. I do like the outdoors but now days with everything going on I really don’t have time. Well I could probably find time, but it would mean less Susan time and unfortunately, I don’t think Susan really goes with my hobbies. By that I mean doing a full makeup look to go hiking or fishing would stand out as very few women would do that.

We talked about when we go out how we dress and present and when I am out by myself or in small groups I really do try to dress as other woman do. Not I will admit when our group goes out or I go to the Escape I do ho a little more over the top and by that I mean really nice dresses and heels I being in a big group I know we stand out. I think a lot of the girls do this also as we all still have that little girl in us that wants to get out and I think is because when we were young we were all hiding this part of us and trying to suppress this part of our lives.

It was about 9 when our first girl signed off and then others left and by 9:15 it was just Julie and me again and we chatted for a while but by 9:30 we both signed off and called it a night. now I am looking forward to the weekend and spending it as Susan again although this weekend it will be extremely hot right around 100 so I am guessing it will be spent inside. Stay safe and be happy with who you are.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 14, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time, zoom | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tuesday and a day of Susan

Well it is Tuesday and I have the day off work and that means a Susan day. now I can only stay out till about 4 so I got up earlier today at 7 am to get my day going. I really do like when I can start my day as Susan, it is just such a wonderful way to start the day off. I took my time getting ready today as I really wanted a more casual look so I would blend in more. I toned my eye makeup down and went with more of a rose red lipstick which I think goes well for the daytime. I was all ready by 9 to start my day. now I thought about going and getting breakfast at IHOP but figured I would save tat for this Saturday so I just had a bowl of cereal and got a few pictures and watched just a little Tv but I really didn’t want to spend the day just sitting at home. I decided to do something I haven’t done in a long time. There is a Casino called Ilani which is only about 15 minutes away from where I live and I have not been there in well over a year, actually I think I have only been there 6 times since they opened 3 ½ years ago and interestingly it was 3 times as Susan and 3 times as my male self so that was my plan. I was going to go walk around it and see what it looks like as far as social distancing.

I got there right at 10 and parked and I was a way out as it seems a lot of people still come her. I put my mask on in the car as it as easier and then I got out of the car and headed for the main door. Now you can only enter through one of the many doors as you have to walk through a thermal scanner and yes you have to pull down your mask as you do. I am always worried what the face mask does to my makeup, so I like not having to put it on and off a lot. I was fine and was welcomed in. I walked around looking to see what they have done, they have hand sanitizer stations well marked around the casino and in some areas they have every other slot machine turned off but you can tell the popular machines as they have plastic between them so they can keep them open. It looks like they are doing everything they can to stay open, so I headed over to the table games, on the Blackjack tables they have a plastic wall between you and the dealer that gores up several feet above the table with just about 8 to 10 inches at table level to place your bets and get your chips and also plastic barriers that come out between people and they only have 5 chars at the table so if you like to play 2hands at a time you are in luck as they still have all 7 betting spots to play.

I found a $5 table that only had 3 men at it so I sat down at the other end and bought in with $40, I didn’t really plan to play that long it was more I just wanted to be out. The dealers name was John and seemed really nice of course with everyone wearing masks it is hard to see facial expressions. I played for a while but could tell I would not be here long as my chips were slowly going down, the only thing that helped me was a got a couple lucky hits on hands I doubled down on. I got down to my last $10 and we got a new dealer a young lady so I was hoping my luck would change and I wone the next two hands and then it was time to shuffle the decks so I had a brief pause, I had $20 of my $40 I started with. Now I got to cut the deck and I think it helped as I was winning and soon I was up to $60 and then I got stuck there I would lose a few and then win a few but just floated between $50 and $70 for a while. Buy the way I forgot to mention the name of the young lady dealing now is Susan, so I figured that had to be a good sign. Well I kept playing and by a little after 11 I was up to almost $100 and then it was her time to take a break and another young lady came over to take her place so I figured I would play one hand and see how I did but I figured having a dealer with the same name as me was why I was winning. Well the new dealer dealt the first hand and I actually got a blackjack my first of the day so maybe it had nothing to do with the dealers name but then I noticed the name of our new dealer and yes you will not believe it her name is also Susan, yes I had 2 dealers in a row named Susan what are the odds so I decided to keep playing and yes I was up and down but always seemed to go a little higher up and my chip stacks got bigger slowly so I kept playing now this dealer about every 10 hands or so would have everyone put there hands out and give us all a little hand sanitizer to be safe also the pit boss gave everyone a little ½ oz bottle to use. I played till a little after noon and then it way time for a new dealer and I figured playing against 2 Susan’s and wining was good enough so I cashed in my chip and I had $187.50, not bad off of a $40 start and a couple hours of fun. Now it was time for lunch and I just didn’t want to do the typical fast food. Yesterday I noticed some people sitting outside Starbucks at the tables so I drove by the Starbucks I had been going to and they had 5 tables outside and it even looked like they had a couple inside so I decided to stop at Subway and get a sandwich. There were only a couple people there and of course with my mask on who would know me. I got my sandwich and made a quick trip home to get my computer and then it was off to Starbucks.

I got to Starbucks about 1 and 3 of the 5 tables were taken but it didn’t look like they had many people inside as this one has a drive through. I parked and went in and ordered my drink, I didn’t recognize any or the girls inside but then it has been over 5 months since I have been here. I waited for my drink and the went out and sat down at one of the tables to have lunch and play on my computer. Now none of the people sitting outside were wearing masks but then the tables are all about 10 feet apart so pretty safe. I took my mask off and broke out my sub sandwich and started eating. There was a gentle breeze and it was in the shade so a couple times when it got a little cool if the breeze got to strong, but it was a wonderful place to sit and enjoy some time. All the tables were fill by now and it seemed when one opened up it wasn’t long before someone else was sitting there. I worked on my blog for today to get a start on it in hopes I wouldn’t leave anything out. It is different sitting outside right by the front door where everyone walks right past you to go in, but it was a lot of fun and a relaxing afternoon. I actually sat there till about 3:30 when my battery on my computer started to die so I saved my work and headed for home till I need to change back to my male self for the rest of the evening. Life almost felt normal again today.

I got home and parked in my driveway, my neighbors were sitting in their car and I was not sure if they were just getting home or getting ready to leave but I just got out of the car and walked to the front door and went in like I do it every day. I watched TV till about 4:30 before going and cleaning up. I have to run over to the auto shop and then will be going over to see my mom at 6 tonight and spend a little time with her and those are things Susan can’t do. It was a good day though and I am looking forward to more like today. Stay safe and keep a positive attitude, life is way better then.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

August 11, 2020 Posted by | casino, Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

A Saturday as Susan and it was good.

Well I got up Saturday morning at 8 to start my day as Susan. it is always more fun when I can spend the whole day as Susan as I get to get up and get ready for the day as any other lady. I took my time yes about 2 hours to get ready for the day, I went with my old long blonde hair today and yes bright red lipstick as my only outing planned for today is my Saturday trip to Panda Express for dinner. I went downstairs and of course got a few pictures. Now I do my laundry on the weekends, towels and beddings on Saturday and my close on Sunday and yes it has been Susan doing my laundry for the last few months. Now I only bring this up because as I took my sheets off my bed, I noticed a small rip in it and as I pulled it of the sheet ripped a nice big hole. Now this is my male side thinking, I only need 1 set of sheets as I only have one bed, I take it off wash it and put it back on so yes I need to go and buy a new sheet set today so I now am planning on going to Target. Well I got my blog from Wednesday nights zoom meeting posted and then called my mon to check on her before I go to Target. Well it turns out she needs a few things and that will also mean going to Costco, so I figured why not do that today also.

It was about 10:30 when I left home and headed for Target at Cascade Station. I got there and there were probably 25 to 30 people waiting in line just to get in and I didn’t want to stand in line so I decided to go to Costco first as it I just a couple miles away. I got to Costco and got gas first and then parked and put my mask on and went in. now while I was in there I decided to see if they had Sheet sets and they did so I guess I don’t need to go back to Target. I got the things I needed and headed for the registers and happened to go by their floral display with all the flowers and it got me thinking. I picked out some flowers and figured I would go out and put flowers on my Dads grave. I paid for my items and took they out to my car and then was on the way to the Cemetery. I got to the Cemetery a little after noon got a couple selfies in the car and went and put the flowers on his grave, it is hard to believe next month will be 2 years since he died. I never told my Dad about this side of me and as far as I know he did not know but I can never know for sure. It was about 12:45 when I walked back to my car and left. Now on my way home I realized I have not eaten yet today and I was hungry and usually I stop and get fast food to eat on my way home as I want just a little something as I am planning on going to Panda Express. I got off the freeway by Vancouver mall and I got thinking which I know is dangerous but there is an Ihop there. My Mom and Dad used to go there for Breakfast a lot and after my Dad died I would take my mom there several times a month, I think she liked it because it was something they did together but I haven’t been there since March and of course never as Susan so today was the day.

I got to Ihop a little after 1 and parked, they actually looked kind of busy as there were probably 20 cars in the lot. I put my face mask on and got a quick selfie and I went in and it wasn’t really busy but with half the tables closed it spread the people out. basically, the tables were closed, and everyone were in booths, so I got to sit by the window which was nice. My waitress came and I ordered lunch well actually breakfast, eggs, bacon, hash browns and a couple pancakes. Now I think this is the first time I have eaten out since March either as Susan or my male self and I so miss it. Now once I was seated at my table, I could take my face mask off which was nice, and everyone was spaced out and to my surprise there were a few other people here eating by themselves. It was so wonderful and the only thing that would have made it better would have been to have some friends with me. I really have missed this part of Susan’s life and I think I may start going out even if it is by myself. My waitress was wonderful and treated me great and no one really paid any attention to me even though the bright red lipstick may have been a little much for lunch out. it really was a relaxing time out but as always it had to come to an end, so I paid my bill and put my face mask back on to walk out to my car.

It was about 2:30 when I got home, and I sat out on my deck for a while and enjoyed the sunshine and started this blog. It was about 3:30 and I went back inside and watched one of the Christmas Movies I recorded last weekend called the Holiday Date, it was surprisingly good. After that movie I watched the movie coming to America which is another good movie. It was 7 pm now and time to watch the Six Million Dollar Mand till 9, then the Bionic Woman till 11 and then Buck Rodgers before going to bed but I also realized I should probably have at least a little something for dinner. I really wasn’t really hungry as I had a wonderful lunch. I decided to make a quick run to McDonald’s. I paused the TV as that way I could skip through some of the commercials.

Now I was on my way and got to McDonald’s and I got there a little after 7 and for the first time I have gone there I was the only car in the drive through. I ordered and went to the first window to pay. Now the young lady at the window was really nice and she told me she loved my makeup and I looked great which was nice. She didn’t have a lot of makeup on that I could see with her mask on, but she did have perfect winged eyeliner so of course I complimented her on them. Now to my surprise she kept talking to me, so I sat there for a couple minutes talking with her before pulling forward to the next window to get my food. it was a nice little outing and now I was glad I did this. I got home an ate most of my meal. Now I watched my TV shows the rest of the night and finished my blog during the commercials. It was a relaxing evening at home and a wonderful day as Susan. Now I am looking forward till tomorrow, but it will be in the afternoon before I can be Susan. I had a couple extra pictures that I put at the end to try and keep them lined up with my blog. I have also tried every setting to try and get more space between the pictures and the writing, but nothing seems to help.

Stay safe and stay happy and take time to enjoy life wherever you can.

Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

August 9, 2020 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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