Monday out in Portland, last full day as Susan.

Wow this day got here so fast, I can’t believe how fast my vacation went. I got up this morning about 8:30 and started getting ready as I was going out for the day. I was ready and on my way by 10. My first stop was to Starbucks so I could write and post my blog from Sunday our trip back to Portland. Now for a Monday they were kind of busy but o found a table to sit at. It has been a while since I have been to Starbucks. I spent a couple hours here doing my blog, catching up on e-mails, some work and of course surfing the internet just a relaxing time. I really do like my Starbucks time. It was a little after noon when I left to start shopping.

My first stop was Burlington Coat as I wanted to look at their shoes. They had 3 pairs I liked but only one fit me. It was a wedge heel with open toe so I bought it. It is a little higher then I wanted in a wedge but it is really cute. I looked around at some of their clothes and also their purses, I really need a new purse as mine is starting to show its wear, it is probably 7 to 8 years old. I couldn’t find one I liked, seems all they had were really big or small. I just want a plain black purse medium size.

After here I went to DSW to look at their shoes, I am still looking for a pair of ankle boots. Again, they had several I liked but only one in my size well close to my size. They are just a little tight but I am hoping they will stretch out a little. Of course, of the 4 I liked the only one in my size was not on sale. I went ahead and bout them. They will look cute with my leggings.

From here I went to Lloyd Center to walk around for a while. This was more window shopping then anything as at this point I really wasn’t looking for anything in particular. I wondered through Sears, Marshals, Ulta, Macy’s, and a variety of other stores including Victoria’s Secret. What trip to the mall would not be complete without going in Victoria’s Secret.

On the way, out I stopped in Old Navy as they had a size that everything was 40% off. I have never bought anything here but I figured it was worth the look. While I was walking around here I saw another t-girl. I am always hesitant to go up to another t-girl when they are out as I don’t want to put them on the spot. I smiled at her but she was really not looking at any one else so I am not sure if she even saw me. I left there and made my way to my car and was on my way.

I headed for Cascade Station by the airport and went to Panda Express for an early dinner. Now it was only a little after 3 so it was in-between lunch and dinner so they were not busy when I got there but by the time I finished there were a lot of people here. After I ate I went few shops down to Starbuck’s for a drink and to play on my computer for a while. This Starbucks is always busy but there was one small table open right in the middle so I took it. I spent maybe an hour here just relaxing, Starbucks is a great place to go with your computer and do work.

After Starbucks, I walked around Cascade station, checking out Ross Dress for Less, Staples, DSW, and even BestBuy, it was a good day out. I stopped at the Starbucks by my house on the way home. This is where my day will end as I sit here updating my blog, I think that will be a record, 3 different Starbuck’s in one day. Tomorrow will be the last of my vacation post for Diva Las Vegas 2017 and sadly it will be after my nail appointment.

Thanks for reading and sharing my vacation with me.

Thursday and Susan is out again!

Okay it is Thursday and I am once again going out after the gym of course. I got hoe from the gym a little after 9 and started getting ready. Still not sure what I will do but it will probably be shopping and a Starbucks at some point. I was done with my makeup and ready to dress. I decided to go with my yoga pants and my cute top I bought the other day. Now when I was all dressed I really liked the look. So much so I had to get a couple pictures which is not easy if you want the whole outfit in the pictures. Now it was time to head out for the day. My first stop was to get gas as I forgot to do that yesterday. I went to the station right by my house. Now it was time to figure out what to do. it is raining pretty good so it is going to be another mall day.

Now there was a lot of standing water on the roads and freeway so it must have rained really hard over night and traffic was crawling every where. I decided to go to Lloyd Center as they have a lot of covered parking and you can walk into the mall without leaving the garage now it normally takes me about 20 minutes to get there but today was an hour trip. Now as I got close the rain seemed to almost stop so I figured I would go to Wigland first before the mall.

I got there and there were a couple spots right outside the door which was nice. I went in and looked around for a bit. I didn’t see anything, there selection wasn’t that good. I left after maybe 10 minutes and headed over to the mall. Now I was thirsty so I figured what better way to start then going to Starbucks and writing my blog for last night. There is one in Barnes and Noble and they have an entrance from the garage so I don’t have to pack my computer through the mall. I got inside and ordered my drink only to find out it wasn’t a Starbucks. It is funny as I have gone here several times before and always thought it was. it was only because I tried to pay with a Starbucks card. I still think at some point it was a Starbucks but it doesn’t matter. They were really busy and there was only 1 small table open so I took it.

I got out my computer and moved the picture off my phone and got a good look at my outfit and I really like it, I wish I hadn’t worn it today and saved it for tomorrow when I go shopping with Mikaela. I think the color of the top goes so well with the black pants. I have the same top in grey which I was looking for and bought this one as an after thought. I may do something I try not t do and wear this again tomorrow. I will see what the grey top looks like first before I decide. I finished my blog for last night and walked back out to my car to put my computer in the trunk,  also moved my car just to be safe incase someone saw me put it in my trunk as this is not the best area of town.

It was now into the mall for some shopping. Now I walked around this mall on Monday and did my shopping so I really don’t think I will find anything I want but again it is more about being out. There seemed to be a lot more people here today then Monday. Although it was raining pretty good it really wasn’t cold so I didn’t need a sweater so I could show off my cute outfit. I hit all the usual stores I go to and even went down to Sears to see what other colors of this top they have. They had a black one but I didn’t get it. I thought about getting another one this color just so I will have a backup but didn’t. I may regret that. Now as Susan I usually look at cloths and makeup but I decided to go look at the exercise equipment they have here as I am debating about buying an elliptical. that is what I use the most at the gym and I am wondering if it is more cost effective and easier to own one and cancel my gym membership.

I know more then got to the equipment and Sears actually has a pretty good selection of NordicTrack when one of the salesmen came over and asked if he could help me. I told him I was debating if I should continue with my gym membership or buy one. He explained all the differences between the one they had and they had a wide range from about $500 to $2400. They had a really nice one for $799 and it would do what I wanted. Now it would take about 2 years of my gym membership to pay for it after that I would save money. I told him I had a few more months on my membership a small lie and at that point I would make a decision. He treated me great though and and seemed really interested in helping me even though I would not be buying today, of course he may get a commission on what he self but I still felt welcomed. Seas has always been a good place for Susan to shop as I have never had a problem there. Now I got to the mall about 12:30 and it was almost 3:30 now so I was ready to take a break from walking.

I am meeting Julie for dinner at Jansen Beach so I figured I would drive there and go to the Starbucks there for a couple hours till we meet for dinner. Now traffic is just as bad now as it is rush hour so it took me 45 minutes to get there. This is the same Starbucks I was at yesterday for a little while. Now the girls here remembered me and made me feel welcome which is always a good experience. One of them told me how much she liked my color of my top and how good I looked which made me feel good. The one who took my order agreed and told me I looked great in this color and she loved the way it matched my lipstick. Wow I really like compliments like that. I am really thinking of wearing this again tomorrow and I am going to buy another top like this if I see one.

Now I am just working n my blog and taking care of e-mails and other things I need to do. Having a laptop that I can take work and other things I need to do with me and go places like Starbucks’s is wonderful. It is funny as before I started coming here as Susan I couldn’t understand why anyone would go to a coffee shop. I guess till you try something you never fully understand it. I have about 45 minutes till I meet Julie for dinner so just going to relax here and surf the internet.

Thanks for reading

My Sunday out as Susan

It was a short night as I was out till almost 2 am with my friends and then got up at 8 am. I needed to go to the gym as I am determined to keep up my routine. I had a little breakfast and made sure all my makeup was removed and the was on my way of course with my beautiful red nails. there were only 2 people there today so it was a lot easier. I did 40 minutes forward and 15 minutes backwards on the elliptical before heading home just a little over an hour. I got ho,e and started getting ready seems to take a little longer after going to the gym. I was ready and on my way by a little after 11 but where to go. I decided to head out to Beaverton area as there is a Kohl’s I like out there plus several other stores.

I got to Kohl’s about 11:40 and went in to look around. I didn’t see anything I liked but it was fun looking around. My next stop was Target which is only a couple miles away. They were really busy but I went in and looked around. didn’t find any outfits I liked but the point of this stop was lip liner. I made it over to the makeup section and found the lip liners I like, Revlon color stay. They had 2 of the 3 colors I like the red on I am having trouble finding. I also picked up some pantyhose as I am getting low and I don’t want to run out again. seems when ever I get to my last pair when I put them on I will run them because I have no backup.

I left here and ran over to Fred Meyer and looked around they also didn’t have the red lip liner I like, I hope they haven’t discontinued it. Didn’t find anything I wanted here either so I left. I decided to drive out by the streets of Tanasbourne as they have a lot of stores out there and I haven’t been out that way in a couple years. Yes Susan is willing to drive to go shopping. My first stop was to find a Starbucks as I wanted something to drink. They were really busy but there was one table open right in the middle of everyone so I sat down, I spent a little over an hour here as I had my computer and updated my blog for last night outing to Harvey’s Comedy club. Form here I went to a Halloween store to look for a costume. It was fun shopping for a costume as a female. I did find a cute costume and tried it on. From here I walked next door to Best Buy and looked around. I also walked to Ross Dress for Less and looked around. Didn’t find anything there either. So far it has been an inexpensive day shopping.

It was almost 4 now and I wanted to get closer to hoe so I drove back to Cascade Station by the airport where I had planed on shopping yesterday till the rain started. I went to Ross Dress for less there also and found nothing and I even went into DSW just to see what they had. My next stop was and yes you guessed it the Starbucks there. I got in line to order a drink and noticed all the tables were full. I went a head and ordered a drink and as I was waiting for it one of the tables opened so I set my computer on it. I sat down to play on my computer and the table right next to me had 2 ladies at it and they asked me if I would take a picture of them which I was only to happy to do. Now I have been here about an hour updating my blog for today. Not sure what I will do for the rest of the night but I do need to get something to eat so I think I may hit a Subway as it is healthier than fast food. I will probably go home after that.

Not sure what I will do tomorrow, I had planned to try and make a day trip to the beach this week as Susan. The weather wont be nice so I am still thinking about this. I really couldn’t go on the beach but I could go to some of the shops. I will have to give this some more thought although it would be a nice drive if nothing else.

Okay a different Friday night out, Out at Starbucks on Mill Plain.

I was happy it was Friday night as I was looking forward to some Susan time. I was wondering what to do as I can’t stay out to late tonight and new I would be the only one from our group at Sweet Home. I thought about going there but I had a few errands I had to do and I thought why not do them as Susan. I got dressed as early as I could and was on my way. I took care of the things I had to do and found myself on the east side so I stopped at Cascade Station and did a little shopping at Ross, Didn’t find anything so I went to Panda Express to get something to eat. They were pretty busy being a Friday night.

After I ate I figured I would just go to the Starbucks here for a couple hours and catch up on some work. I parked and started to walk in but they were packed. I don’t mind it being busy but there were no tables and people standing and talking. I really needed a table for my computer s I could do my work. It was after 7 now and time was short as the Starbucks by my house and also the one out on 164th off Mill Plain both close at 8 so it wouldn’t leave much time.

I got off on Mill Plain and remembered there is a Starbucks Right on the corner of Mill Plain and Chkalov I have gone to a couple ties both as Susan and my male self and as it was not 7:30 there wasn’t much time left so I decided to stop at this one really quick.

I went inside and they were a little busy but had tables available so I ordered a drink. I went to pay for t and they informed me their computers were down rebooting so the drink was on the house. I felt like a winner even though it was getting late. I got out my computer and decided to check and see if they were open till 8 or 9 hoping it was 9. well I was wrong, turns out this Starbucks is open 24 hours according to their web page. Now I am not sure how late I will stay here.

I do have to get up early as I have some things I have to do at 8 and of course I want to go to the Gym (yes I joined a gym last week) and work out. I am actually proud of myself as I went and worked out Last Saturday, Sunday, (missed Monday), Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and today so I have made it to the gym 6 of the last 7 days. The first day was hard. AS I was out of shape. 10 minutes on the elliptical and I was soaked by sweat and my pulse was up at 168. But the good news is after only a week I did 25 minutes on the Elliptical and my pulse only got to 150 and then I did 25 minutes on the tread mill walking fast. and I actually feel pretty good. Not sure if I will loose weight but I will at least feel better and be in better shape.

I also need to go to the nail salon for a manicure and pedicure tomorrow. I have managed to keep my nails without trimming them and they are pretty long now between 1/8 and a 1/4 inch. I will have to get them trimmed back tomorrow. Then Saturday night I will be out at the Escape. Should be a fun night as Cassandra is back from vacation and will be out. I am also hoping Julie makes it out also as I really want to hear all about their trip. I also need to find some time to get together with Peggy for Dinner for the same reason. I am sure they all had a wonderful time.

Well I do need to get a little work done before going home. Thanks for reading and have a wonderful weekend.

A little shopping on Monday.

Well I decided I was going to go shopping today at least for a little while. I am still not feeling 100% but I am way better than I was a few days ago, besides just sitting in my house while on vacation is not my idea of fun. Besides maybe being Susan will may me feel better at least in spirit.

I got up at 7:30 and started the process of becoming Susan, Yes this is what I need. It too a little longer but that was okay, it was a little after 9 am when I left. Now my plan was to go to Clackamas Town Center as I have a Nordstrom’s gift card and I need some more foundation and I use the MAC Studio Fix as it really gives me a nice coverage. So I got in my car and pulled out of the garage and was on my way. I got about 3 blocks from home when I realized I left the gift card on my bed so I had to turn around and go back home, luckily I wasn’t far away. I got the gift card and was on my way again. as I was driving I noticed the gas gauge on my car was really low I would have to get gas today so I figured I would stop at a Fred Meyer gas station and got gas. they were packed and I had to wait in line. so much for advance planning of my day. with my car full of gas I was on my way again.

I got to Clackamas Town center and parked right outside of Nordstrom’s, I got there just as they were opening the door. I went in and headed for the Cosmetic section and the MAC counter. As  walked up one of the ladies asked if I needed any help. I was actually the only customer here at the moment. I told her the foundation I needed and I also got an eyebrow pencil. probably didn’t need to get that at the MAC counter but I had the gift card and figured why not. Soon I had one of those MAC bags with my purchase inside and I was on my way.

I went out into the mall and walked down to Sears to check out their clothing. I looked around and found myself in a section with Sweaters. Now I have my wrap that I wear but it is kind of bulky and was a little to warm for today so I started looking. I really need to expand my Susan wardrobe. I have a good selection of dresses but casual wear is pretty limited, I have several pairs of Capri’s, a couple skirts and one pair of leggings which is what I wore today. So I thought I would see if I could find a Sweater, I am not a real big fan of sweaters but it seems every woman has a few so I figured it was time for me to get one. I found a really cute one and it fit and was on sale so I bought it.

From here I walked to JC Pennies which is at the opposite end of the mall. Now I figured being a Monday the mall would not be very busy early on but there were a lot more people here than I thought would be and there were a lot of kids here also and I was wondering why they were not in school. I looked at some of the clothes at Pennies and didn’t see anything that I liked at least not in my size. they did have some really cute dresses including a really cute red one but I think the biggest size I saw was a 12 and most were size 4 to 10. Wow what I would give to be smaller. It is funny as most men want to be tall and buff and I would be so happy if I were 5’6” and small framed. I walked through the intimate apparel section as I should it is a fun section to shop. It really is fun to shop for female items as they are so much more beautiful then male clothing and such a wide selection and the best part is going shopping as Susan. I think back to when I would go as my male self and tell them or try to convince them I was buying gifts for someone and now I can’t imagine shopping for clothes for Susan as my male self. I guess I have come full circle.

I didn’t buy anything here so it was back into the mall, I did stop and look around in a couple of the costume jewelry stores, Torids, H&M and of course Victoria’s Secret. It is funny how many times I have been in a Victoria’s Secret as Susan but I don’t think I have ever been in there as my male self. Again  didn’t buy anything else so it was finally time to leave so I walked back through Nordstrom’s and back out to my car. I had been here almost 2 hours. Now as I said I am feeling better but I was a little tired so I decided to stop and get some lunch as I was kind of hungry. I stopped at Cascade Statin by the airport and went to the Panda Express there, yes I like Panda express as the food is good and I can eat it with a fork and not mess up my lipstick.

I went in and ordered some lunch and sat at a table to eat it. It was fairly busy and I picked a table by the window so I could watch the people walking by. I had a nice lunch but still don’t have my appetite back as I only ate a little more than half of what I would normally eat, on the bright side maybe I will lose a little weight this week.

after lunch it was about 1 and I was thinking about what to do, of course I didn’t want to go home and sit there buy wasn’t feeling up to walking around stores. I have it Starbuck’s, I can catch up on some e-mails and just relax.

I decided to go to my favorite Starbucks in Vancouver. I haven’t been there in a long time as they close at 8 now. It is funny as this was one of my first places I went by myself as Susan and felt really comfortable. I have been coming here for over 6 years now wow it doesn’t seem like that long. I use to try to come here once a week to work on my computer. over the last year I have only been here a few times which is sad as it really helped me get use to being out by myself. I parked and went n and they were really busy, only one table open by the counter so  put my computer on it and went up to order.

Now the funny story is the young man who took my order was really nice and asked me my name for the cup and I told him it was Susan. he asked if that was with an S or a Z. first time I have had that question. I told him an S and joked with him that it really didn’t matter. He smiled and told me he just wanted to be sure as people misspell his name all the time as he pointed to his name tag and he didn’t want to make that mistake. I thanked him and then went to the counter to wait for my drink. The lady at the counter remembered me and said it was good to see me again as it had been a long time and they missed me which really made me feel good. This really is a wonderful Starbuck’s. well I got my drink and sat down and as I looked at it my name was spelled Susanne and I laughed a little.

Now I am sitting here watching all the people come and go and it really is busy and lots of kids. I got online to do some e-mails and the first thing that popped up was a Presidents Day Ad, That right today is presidents Day, a Holiday and Schools, banks and government offices are closed. no wonder so many people are out today. Well it has been a fun day and  will sit here for a while and update my blog and catch up on some other things before heading home as Tomorrow is another day and Susan will once again be out.

Thanks for reading.

Finally a chance for a couple hours of Susan and a manicure pedicure.

Wow it has been almost 2 weeks with no chance of being Susan. My male life is so busy right now so much going on and I leave for Diva Las Vegas in a week and a day. I had hoped to get some time as Susan as I really wanted to do a little shopping but no luck. As a matter of fact I wanted to go get a manicure and pedicure last week or early this week and just couldn’t fit it in till today. Turns out I had a couple hours this afternoon and evening that I could break free so when I got home from work I called and got an appointment for 5 at Dream nails with Anna. It was a rush to get ready so it is a good thing it’s only a couple blocks from my house.

I got there right at 5 and Anna was just finishing up another lady so I got to soak my feet a little longer which was nice. It was about 5:15 when Anna started on my pedicure and it was amazing how busy they got. By 5:30 there were 4 other woman getting pedicures and one soaking her feet waiting and one at the table waiting to get her finger nails done. One reason I always call and make an appointment.

It was so relaxing and Anna did a great job, actually all the girls and guy who work here are great they remember their customers by name, as a matter of fact when I called to make the appointment Anna knew who I was before I gave her my name. My feet look awesome, I have OPI red on my toes and my fingers just a clear coat for now.

Anna finished my feet and then did my fingers and they still had woman coming in to get there nails done. I think this is the busiest I have seen them. This is actually the fourth time I have gone here in the last 6 months, not the every month thing I was hoping for but close. I guess it is a little expensive to go so often but I really enjoy it and so I am willing to spend the money. When Anna finished with my manicure I went ahead and set up an appointment for next Thursday at 4 pm to make sure I would be able to get my acrylic nails for my trip to Diva Las Vegas. I even gave Anna my phone number so she can call me to remind me, I guess that makes me a regular customer here now.

Well that all done I left and as my nails still need a little time to make sure they are dry I decided to go to Starbucks for an hour or so to catch up on some e-mails and write a blog about tonight as it has been a couple weeks since my last blog. I also need to stop by Walmart tonight as I was going through my stuff for Diva Las Vegas and the one thing I need are pantyhose. I like to take extra as you never know how long they will last. Funny story, my first trip to Diva Las Vegas I took 5 pairs and needed more by the 4rth day. Last year I took 11 pairs one for each day to be safe and came home with 8 unopened ones. Any way I think I should have enough for every day as I will eventually use them. So when I leave Starbucks I will run to Walmart which is just up the street.

Most likely my next blog will be from Diva Las Vegas and I will be typing with my pretty, long acrylic nails and right now I am thinking the same red I have on my toes.

Just a quick add on. the staff here ay my favorite Starbucks is awesome, I got here a little earlier than normal so the guy who calls me by name wasn’t here when I ordered but he came in later and as he walked by he asked how my night was going and called me by name so he remembers who I am even without seeing my credit card.

Thanks for reading and have a great week.

Well what do you know; I made it to Starbuck’s

Well it is another busy week for my male self, busy every night this week but tonight so I decided to make a run for Starbuck’s. It seems like it has been for ever since I have been here and actually it has. I was looking back over my blog yes I am blonde and getting older and really need help remembering things hence the blog and it has was almost two months ago I was last at Starbuck’s. wow how fast time goes by. I got to Starbucks by 7 and there was plenty of parking so I figured they weren’t very busy but I was wrong, there are about 20 people here but I did find a small table right in the middle. Everyone must have had the same idea I did because half the people here are on lap tops so I guess it is the night for that.

Now the girls that are normally working are not here tonight but the girl behind the counter did remember what I like to drink which considering how long it has been and the fact I didn’t remember her was impressive. I must say I have always been treated awesome here no matter who is working. I must say that Starbucks is a pretty good place to go when you want to express your other side.

It is strange how relaxing it is to just sit here at Starbucks and work on my computer well I guess it is more play than work but I do manage to get a little work done. The funny thing is while I am here I am really not thinking about the fact I am Susan or that I am crossdressing it really does feel natural and normal and I could almost forget about it accept for my pretty red nails I can see while typing on my keyboard. It is amazing how much I have grown as Susan over the last couple years. Now I know what everyone is thinking and I do get asked it quite often and that is where this is leading and when am I going to transition. Well let me answer that the best I can, I don’t know where my life will go and what will happen down the road accept for one thing and that is that I will not transition. Will Susan play a bigger part in my life I would think so but Susan will never be my whole life. A few years back I was amazed that I was going out once a week and now it is twice a week and that feel right. Susan is a big part of who I am and I would not be complete without her but the same goes for my male self. I need both to be complete and the person I am so no I will not transition and that I am sure of.

Well I am getting ready for Diva Las Vegas, I have my vacation set and I have my hotel reservations I just need to do some shopping as I do need some more and newer cloths. I figure this is a good excuse to but girl cloths. Right now we have Cassandra, Cristine and myself going for sure and a couple girl planning on coming in for the last few days from our group here so on Thursday and Friday of that week we could have as many as 7 or 8 from our group there on those days. How fun would that be. right now they are only registering those who have gone before but starting February first they will start registering those on the mailing list so if you want to go subscribe to the mailing list otherwise you can’t register till March first when they have open registration. They should have a list of activities by the end of March as they will start having people sign up for events the last week of March so there is still plenty of time.

I am so looking forward to this trip as I once again plan on being Susan 24/7, 10 full days and yes I will get acrylic nails. I really love acrylic nails, having them and even getting them done. That is the one part of Susan I wish I could do all the time. If you have never had acrylic nails you should try them at least once just for the experience. The other thing is a pedicure, god I love those. I really need to get another pedicure but just can’t seem to find the time. I may have to paint my toes again myself as they are starting to look bad again. Girls really do get the best cloths and to be pampered a lot more than men.

Well we have another meeting with our attorney coming up soon. I had to write out a statement and will have to do a deposition which will have to be notarized which means giving my legal name. we have our hearing date set up in mid March and I have time off work for that too. This still scares me as this means being very open and public about myself but I feel it is worth it. I never really pictures myself doing something like this as this is the first time I have personally been involved in something like this so I really don’t know what will happen and how things will go. It is a learning experience though. I was talking to Cassandra the other day and we are both amazed that the first time we are in court and being questioned we will be there as girls. It is scary but also sounds fun in a way, being in such a public situation and being there as a female.

Well thanks for reading and have a great rest of the week.

Susan time at Starbuck’s

Wow I was looking back at my blog and noticed that I have not been going to Starbuck’s as much as I use to, it has been almost a month since I have been here. It is funny as this was always a once a week thing but lately between work and going out with friends, I had hoped once summer was over things would slow down for me. Well as I said I am out at Starbuck’s as I find it a good place to catch up on things including some work. I really find it relaxing to just sit here as Susan and work on my computer, well it is mostly play, e-mails, chat and my blog but I do get some work done and so much better than just sitting at home.

I have also noticed that my blog is getting a lot more hits now which I believe is because the interview I gave on TV about the discrimination complaint a few weeks back. The day after that were the most hits I have ever got on my blog and sense that day I have seen a lot more attention to my blog. This really was not the publicity I wanted or to draw attention to myself and maybe it has nothing to do with it but one hast to wonder. With that I thought I would take a moment and explain about who I am and why I like to be Susan.

First of all I am heterosexual male and live most of my life as a man but a couple nights a week I like to go out as Susan. You may ask why I or any man would want to do that and it is a hard question to answer. I look at Gender as a scale from 0 to 10, 0 being ultra feminine and 10 being a macho male. Most woman float between 2 and 4 sometimes being really feminine dresses makeup and heels and other times being more casual. Men float between 7 and 9 depending what they are doing and who they are with. I think crossdressers float between 3 and 7 and depending on how we feel, what we are doing and who we are with we slide back and forth. When you think about it we really do get the best of both sides. Yes when I am Susan I am more feminine and I act more feminine and the same goes for when I am in my male mode I act as any other male would.

As a crossdresser I enjoy being female and everything that goes with it but it is not my main goal in life. A friend of mine I think explained it well, transsexuals need to be the opposite sex, and it is who they are and how they define themselves. Crossdressers like to be the opposite sex; it is part of who they are. Being Susan is not what defines who I am but rather makes up part of who I am and makes me the person I am. Think about your own life and all the things that make you the person you are. If you take away some of those things you would change who you are and the same is true for me. Well enough of this.

It is way easier now to get out as it is dark by a little after 5 now and with the cold and rainy weather I know none of my neighbors will be out. Yes I know two of my neighbors know and that does make it a lot easier also. I find myself wondering if any of my other neighbors know, my neighbors seemed okay with this side of me when they found out and I don’t think they would go around telling others but than one has no way to know for sure. Kind of like I said in earlier blogs about why I didn’t tell people as once you tell someone you no longer control who knows. I guess once the weather turns nice next spring and we are all outside more I will find out.

Well I got to Starbuck’s a little before 7 and they were a little busy. I was talking to Jennifer who works here and she is so excited as she is pregnant, only 10 weeks but she heard the baby’s heart beat today. So we chatted for a while about that. I got my drink and sat down to work on my computer. I had a lot of e-mails to catch up on and as I said there are no distractions here so I got through them rather fast. I find I am more focused here than when I am at home, not sure if it is because I am Susan or the fact there is no TV here; I like to think it is the first as Susan tends to relax me.

It really is strange as one would think being out in public crossdressed would cause a high level of stress and worry but for me it is just the opposite. As Susan I am calm and relaxed, I think it is because I can slip out of my male life and put all the stress and troubles from that side of my life away for a few hours. It really is like taking a mini vacation from everything. I am actually really good at separating my two sides and I think that makes it easier for me. It really is cool to be able to live two lives, it kind of makes you feel like a secret agent or spy.

Well it has been an average night here at Starbuck’s maybe 15 other people here plus those who come in and get drinks to go, plus there are several people on computers here. It is fun to sit here and people watch as you get a good mix of people coming in here. Well I must finish up some more e-mails before they close. I also have some shopping to do so I will do that on the way home tonight. Funny as I don’t mind shopping as Susan even if only for groceries.

Thanks for reading and have a great rest of the week.

Relaxing night at Starbuck’s

Well still really busy for this poor girl but I had the chance to come to Starbuck’s tonight so I did. I had actually planed on being out last night but got home late from work. The bright side is I got off a little earlier today so here I am. They are remodeling so I think they are closeting at 8 now so had to get here a little early.

It is strange how comfortable and relaxing it is to just sit here with a warm drink and play on my computer. I know it does not make sense to get all dressed up, spend the hour to hour in a half to get ready, drive 20 minutes to spend 1 ½ to 2 hours here and then go home but I enjoy it. Strange as when I am here other than seeing my nails and bracelets I don’t even think about being dressed as Susan.

I try to explain this to others as it seems so simple to me, but not everyone understands it. I guess if you really enjoy something then all the effort is worth it. I have friends that spend a ton of money and time on their hobbies and things they like and for me it is the same thing although I don’t spend a ton of money on Susan, but I could as there are so many cute outfits, heels and makeup. It is true it is way more expensive to be a girl but also a lot more fun.

Well it will be another fun week as I will be out 3 nights in a row, tonight of course and then Friday night with my friends at the P-Club. It is always a fun night as what is important is spending time with my friends. Now you could say going to the same place every week could get old and boring but what for me it is the people that make it fun. The P-Club is a safe and accepting place to go where those who are new to going out can go and feel comfortable. And for those of us that are now comfortable going out almost any place there are lots of things to do there.

On Saturday night this week we will be going to Harvey’s Comedy Club again, right now we have 5 that are going for sure and 4 others who might go so it could be a smaller group this month. They put on a really good show and always treat us wonderful. Even the staff likes us and always asks us to come back which always feels nice. We will meet at the Fox & Hound between 7 & 8 for dinner and then about 8:30 walk the 8 blocks to Harvey’s. We do this as parking is usually better by Fox & Hound plus the walk is nice. Walking down the street like any other woman is fun and we have never had a problem.

Well Diva Las Vegas starts in 10 days and I will not be going this year which is sad but Cassandra and Cristine are going. Cristine has not been to Las Vegas in like 40 years so she is really excited. They are going to Drive to LA on Friday before and spend Friday and Saturday nights there before going to Las Vegas on Sunday and then do the same thing on the way home. The same trip we did two years ago. The only difference is they are going to a dodgers Baseball game on the last Sunday. The game gets over at 5 pm and they will drive part way home and finish the trip Monday. Going to a Baseball game as Susan would be so much fun, something I have not done.

I have been reading all the post about Diva Alas Vegas and what they have planed, dinners, shows, this year they are going to Phantom of the Opera which would be so much fun. Cassandra and Cristine are going to this, they better get pictures. It really is a fun time and there is still time to register. Registration closes on April 15 so if you are thinking of going you better register quickly.

Well must be going as they are closing now.

Thanks for reading

    

Out again after two weeks.

Well it has been over two weeks of no Susan time and I was really ready to go out. It really is amazing when I think back just a few years and I was so glad to get out a few times a year and I was happy with theat. Now going a couple weeks seems like forever and so hard on this poor girl. Being Susan is such a part of my life now that it would be imposable for me to not be her. She is every bit as important as my male side. It really is funny how much she has grown, I have grown.

Well I got home from work and had to rush as Stefia, one of my friends e-mails me and said she could stop by Starbucks to chat between 6:30 and 7:15 I was pretty amazed as I stepped into the shower at 5:10 and was all ready and out the door as Susan by 6 which is really fast for this girl when you think of what all goes into creating Susan. The other drawback is it was still light outside so that is always a little worry but the more I go out I realize at some point one of my neighbors will see me. When that happens I will deal with it. It is funny as I have talked to a couple of my friends and we all have the same thoughts. It really would be easier if the neighbors knew we just can’t bring ourselves to say anything to them about it but all hope they will ask us about it. But that leads to another thought, they may already know and have the same feelings, they don’t want to bring it up and keep hoping I will say something.

Any way I got to Starbucks right at 6 and they were not really busy. The girl behind the counter knew what I wanted without me even having to ask so I guess that makes me a regular. I have seen her here before but they have more new girls working here and they seem to go through employees pretty regular so hard to learn their names. The one thing I have noticed is they are always females. In all the time I have been coming here I think I have only seen one male working here and maybe only twice. But no matter who is working I have always been treated wonderful here.

Stefia showed up about 6:45 and joined me. She has been out all day, lucky girl. She got her drink and a little snack as she had not eaten yet and then we sat and talked. It was so much fun to just share a little girl talk with her. There were probably 10 other people here and none of them paid any attention to us. We got on the topic of passing when we are out and we both seem to look at it then same. I know I will never fully pass, maybe if others don’t get a good look I might for a while but with my height it is very hard to pass but to me passing is if I can go out and be treated and accepted as a female even if they know I am not then to me I have passed. All the girls who work here treat me as a female and I think that is why I am so comfortable coming here week after week by myself. The key is to dress to blend in and to act like a proper lady I think. Stefia stayed till about 7:30 before she had to leave but we had a nice time and I am sure we will get together again.

Well I took some time and got caught up on my e-mails, seems going away for a week and not being online I had almost 200 e-mails. Most were postings from the group I belong to (Rose City T-0Girls) but I still took the time to read most of them, I did skip over the ones about going out while I was gone as I had missed them and really didn’t need to know where they were going and who was planning on attending. I always hate it when it takes me too long to reply. To be honest Susan is much better at replying to e-mails then my mails self. One of the little differences between the two sides of me.

I was really thinking about the differences between my two halves and it really is amazing. You would not think there would be any differences as we are after all the same person but there are. I think we tend to take on the roll of how we present ourselves which is a good thing. I think if one does not act the part they are presenting then you really are just a dud in a dress but I think if you try to act correctly people respond to it way better.

Well I am still waiting to hear about my vacation for Diva Las Vegas. I think my odds of getting the time off have improved but still only about a 60% chance of going this year. I had hoped to hear this week but now maybe next week. The one bad thing is if I can go this girl need to do some shopping of course I guess I could go shopping even if I can’t go. After all a girl can always use more clothes.

Well must get back to my e-mails. I will of course be out with my awesome friends tomorrow at the P-Club, I think I have missed spending time with them more then the dressing. Next week I will probably only be out on Friday but then I hope to get back to my normal twice a week so I should be back to updating my blog more again. Thanks for all who stop by and read it and leave comments.