Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Out for a couple hours as Susan at the Escape

Okay it has in fact been 4 weeks since I have had any Susan time and I am really missing it. It is so hard when you are use to going out 2 to 3 times a week to just stop. Now I did get a chance to get together with a few of my friends, but I was in male mode and I also got together one evening with Julie for a couple hours again in male mode, thanks so much Julie I had a wonderful time and it was so great to spend a few hours with you. I miss my friends as much if not more than my Susan time. A few years ago, I would never have shown up as my male self, but I have such wonderful friends now I am willing to let them know all sides of me.

Now my big concern is the fact my family does not know about Susan. I have had to leave work a few times and been waken up in the middle of the night to run over there, usually for a medical reason but when I am Susan it adds that issue of having to change before going over. So, if I am out someplace and something comes up I must run home and clean up and remove all traces of Susan before going over and that ads time. In case I didn’t say it in my previous blog my dad is now on Home Hospice, so I am constantly waiting for that call. The good news is there is not a definite diagnosis, but he has enough health issues that they figure it is short term as in less than 6 months. I have thought a lot about it and I think I am going to try to get out to Starbucks by my house as if something comes up I can be home in just a couple minutes, so I should be able to get over to their place within 20 to 30 minutes.

Well tonight I decided to go out to the Escape as I wanted to see some of my friends. I posted I would be there in our group but in reality, I have no idea is anyone will be there as it has been a while since I was there, but I was hoping. Now I did start getting ready early about 3:30 as I wanted to take my time and yes it would take longer as I have let some things go over the last few weeks. Plus, not doing my makeup for that long I was sure I would be slower. Well it is like riding a bike, you don’t forget you just need a little longer. It was about 5:30 when I was ready and on my way. Now the Escape is not bad as it is only 20 minutes away so not that far and, on a Saturday, there shouldn’t be traffic. Now some things don’t change as I got in my car in the garage and opened the door and drove out, didn’t even think to look outside to see if any of my neighbors were out. As I was getting ready I wondered if I would have some jitters about going out after so long, but I didn’t. I guess Susan is just a normal part of me. Now don’t get me wrong I am not going around and telling people about Susan but I have come to the conclusion that if they find out they find out which is a wonderful place to be.

I got to the Escape a little before 6 and of course I had to take a quick selfie before going in to remember tonight. I thought my makeup turned out really well and I got to wear my new lipstick. I actually bought this almost 4 weeks ago and have not had the opportunity to wear it. I went inside, and they were a little busy about 15 people almost all sitting around the bar, so I sat down at our table. And got my computer out and then went up and ordered my dinner. I got back to the table and a man came over and sat down and talked with me. I have met him here before, he knows Samantha and Cloey. So, we talked for a while and he asked me if I have seen them lately which I haven’t. I think Cloey still lives local, but Samantha moved out of state. Any way we talked for a while before he went back and joined the people he was with. My food showed up, so I put my computer way while I ate.

After I finished I got out my computer and was getting ready to do some things when Bobbie showed up so at least I wouldn’t be here by myself tonight. We talked for a little bit while I also did a few things on my computer which I needed to do including posting my blog from getting my manicure in male mode last night. Now I will say typing on my key board with no nails feels funny, as I said when I got my manicure last night she trimmed them way down and rounded them off, totally different feeling then I am used to.

A little later Laura H, and Max showed up then Laura M, and her girlfriend, Britney and her friend and then Jan & Lynn and one other girl from our group so it looks like we will have a good turnout tonight. Now it still was not very busy, and our group was close to half the people here at least for now, it would not stay that way. It was so nice to talk with some of my friends and spend time with them. I really do miss seeing them. By time for Karaoke it got busy and soon it was standing room only, so it was good we had our table. Now Karaoke is fun to listen to but makes it hard to talk but I was able to chat with my friends some and that was good.

It was about 10 when Lauri showed up, so it was a fun night. I stayed till a little after 10:30 before calling it a night. It really was a wonderful night and went by so fast as they always do. It really was sad to see it come to an end but as I said I am going to try to get out to Starbucks at least for an hour or 2 every week and if he is doing well tomorrow I will be at Starbucks. I even thought about going to the nail salon as it is close to home but I think that will have to wait as at Starbucks I can leave immediately and head home little more difficult in the middle of a pedicure or getting my nails done.

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August 19, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday evening at the Escape

It is Saturday and yes, I am going to the Escape at least for a little while. It wasn’t till 4 that I thought I could go so I am looking forward to it. I have a lot going on right now so it is harder to plan my Susan time. In a way I think you realize how special that time is when you have to plan a little more to work it out. Susan really is an important part of who I am and it is hard when you can’t express your true self. Any way I started getting ready a little after 4 as I wanted to get to the Escape early. Kate had texted me she would be there so I was looking forward to seeing her as she has not been out for 6+ weeks. Now I took my time on my makeup and tonight I really liked the way my eyes turned out, I wish I had taken a picture just of my eyes. I was done with my makeup and was deciding on my dress, I went with my red one. Now the big choice should I wear my corset. It has been hot the last few weeks and the next 5 days will be in the mid 90’s which around here is really hot but today it is only in the low 80’s so I decided I would wear it and hope I was not to hot. I got it on and I really like the way it looks as it does give me a nice shape, it takes my waist in about 5 inches and the shape of it increases my hips a couple inches so with it on my waist is about 6 inches smaller then my hips and bust, I actually have an hourglass shape with it. The other thing great about it is it makes me sit up straight, I really slouch a lot and I really don’t like it when I do it but I never really think about it unless someone points it out to me, a bad habit. The corset fixes that as it is impossible to slouch in a corset.

I was al ready and on my way about 5:45 and got to the Escape at 6 and went in. Kate was already there so we would get a good chance to talk as we waited for others to show up. I ordered dinner, yes it was a hamburger as I really like their burgers here and it is the first 1 I have had this week. I have been trying to watch what I eat and have cut down on my dairy, Milk, I love milk so it has been hard. I use to drink 2 gallons or more a week not it is less then a gallon and it actually helps. I have lost almost 10 LB’s in the last 3 weeks or so. It didn’t take long for my burger as they really were not busy right now, I had my choice of several parking spots right in front of the door. A quick selfie in the car before going in.

Kate and I talked as I ate it was nice to catch up with her. She has been traveling a lot for work and is also dealing with some of the same family issues I am so we talked about that also. We also talked about how we get ready, what we do first and how we do it. I do my makeup first before I put on any of my girl stuff. Kate was talking how it took her a little longer tonight as she has not been able t be Kate for several weeks and it is true, if you go a while without doing makeup it is a little slower. Now I can get ready in 45 minutes if I have to and everything goes right but I really like to allow 1 ½ hours to get ready, not so much I need it but I want to take my time and enjoy it. Kate and I were both talking about it and we both enjoy the time we spend getting ready and doing our makeup. I really don’t know why other then in my male life there really is nothing to think about, shower, shave, brush my teeth and hair and put my clothes on and for my clothes they are all pretty much the same, pants and a shirt, maybe different colors but all the same. So many more options for Susan. The other night we were talking about our cruise and the formal night and if you think about it for men what is a formal night? A tux or suit, yes there are some small variations of style and color, but for woman it is wide open, so many more options even doing different hair styles. Men never do a different hair style for one night.

It was amazing how fast the night went and soon it was 9, Kate wanted to go check out a place that has some Jazz bands and see which one was there, I stayed at the Escape in case any other girls showed up and sure enough right after Kate left another girl showed up. Now the funny thing is when I put on my corset earlier I was worried about being to hot and that defiantly was nit the case tonight as they had the AC cranked up. I actually got so cold I went outside for about 10 minutes to warm up. Now that is saying a lot as I am usually the last one to get cold, if Cassandra had been here tonight she would have been freezing.

I came back in and they were doing Karaoke and it is fun to listen to but hard to talk any more. Jan and Lynn also showed up so I got to talk with them a little between songs. Well once again it got to me and outside I went again to get warm. I was talking with one of the lady’s ho works here in the Kitchen and she told me their AC broke yesterday and it was so hot inside so today they got it fix and boy did they get it fixed. I went back inside and sat and talked with Jan & Lynn some more. It was about 10 and Lauri showed up, it was good to see her again so we talked a little more. Again, I was freezing so I went and paid my bill and was going to call it a night but Lauri had put her name into sing. Now of course when she put it in it was not that busy but by now it was getting busy. II told her how cold I was and she admitted it was cold in here tonight also so she said I should go outside and warm up, I laughed and told her I had already done that twice so why not a third time.

We went outside and it was still warmer then inside and my cell phone said it was 68 out now. We were talking and Rachel showed up, she is a GG we met years ago at the P-club and after our issue with them she got our group to go to the Sweet home, Bar & Grill. I haven’t been there for a long time as it is hard to get out on Friday nights now but I really do need to go there again as it was a wonderful place. Any way she is a wonderful lady and it was great to see her again. Her wife Heather was also her and it was great to see her also, these really are two special ladies. Well we went back inside and I listened to Lauri sing and she did great and I talked with Rachel for a while, it was great to reconnect with them but again I was getting cold and that was all I could handle so I called it a night. I said my goodbyes to everyone and left right around 11pm. Now I got in my car and yes, I turned the heat on to 76, I have not had the heat on in my car for months and I left it on all the way home. Wow it was cold there tonight. One of the bad things about being female I guess as the clothes are thinner and bare legs and arms and of course open toed heels but still worth it, and it was a great night.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my newest blog to see what’s new.

July 23, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape

It is Saturday and I am looking forward to going to the Escape tonight but first a couple side notes. Somehow this past week all my blog post that had gone to my Facebook page disappeared, there is no trace of them any where on Facebook. Don’t know what happened or if I can get them back on Facebook. The good news is the blog I posted tonight for last week also posted to my Facebook page so any of my Facebook friends if you want to see older blog posts you must go to my blog. I will put some links at the bottom of my blog to the more recent ones. Also, if any of my Facebook friends have any idea why/how this happened or how I can get them back I would appreciate the help. Also, our Mexican cruise is just a little over 3 months away, still time to sign up if you want, you can check out our groups web page for more information. We still have 25 signed up to go and we all have to pay by the end of the month so that is when we will really have a good idea of how many are going.

The second thing is for those following my blog you know I have had acrylic on my nails now for well over a year and for the last several months a slightly pinkish color called wedding dress. Now over that time really no one has said a thing but a lot of the women I work with now have really nice nails. A few that had short no polish or polish half worn off now have acrylic nails. Well Friday one of the young ladies I work with who wears no makeup and has always had short unpolished nails came up to me, mind you I really don’t interact with her that mush at work so I hadn’t notice she got her nails done. Anyway, she asked me how often I get my nails done. I just smiled and said every few weeks as needed. She then showed me her nails and how much they had grown out and said you can really see the grow out and its only been 2 weeks. I just smiled and said that’s because you have color and it shows more like it was nothing. She looked at me and said it is pretty cool though. I just smiled and said looks like your nails grow fast and that was the end of the conversation. Well back to my blog about tonight.

As I said I haven’t gotten out much the last few weeks so I was going to make the most of tonight. I started getting ready a little after 3 as I wanted to get to the Escape early, I wanted more time as Susan and I also needed to write my blog form Last Saturday. I have been lax on writing them partly because of time but also, I so much more enjoy writing them when I am Susan. I took my time getting ready and I wore my long black and white dress that is a little tight. This is an old picture of me in the dress, I guess I need a newer one. I was all ready buy 4:45 and on my way. I got to the Escape a little after 5 and there were all kinds of parking, another reason I like to get here early.

I went in and got our table and set up my computer before going up and Ordering dinner. Yes, I had a Hamburger but it is my first one in a week. Lindsay was working tonight, it was great to see her. She used to work her all the time but got another job and now only fills in when they are short staffed. Really all the staff here are wonderful. I went over and sat down and wrote my blog from Saturday. My dinner came and I ate it as I worked on my blog. Now they were not really busy tonight as there is a big jazz festival going on downtown at the water front. I finished my blog and then just played on the internet as I passed rime waiting to see if anyone else would show up.

It was a little after 7 when Michelle showed up so at least I wouldn’t be here by myself. We talked a little she had gone to Reno a couple weeks ago for a few days and we also talked about our Mexican cruise and of course our group and Wednesday night dinners. Cassandra use to send out text messages which we have stopped and are trying to get our members to go to the group and see what we are doing and where instead of texting them as that is a lot of work. It was just Michelle and me for a long time but a little before 9 Jan & Lynn showed up so we had 4 of us. We talked a little more about our cruise, Jan is growing out her hair for the cruise and tonight she didn’t wear a wig. Her hair is still a little short but it really looked cute on her. She will be luckily not to have to wear a wig on the ship. I have always been torn on this as it would really be nice and a lot easier to have my own hair long enough to look feminine but it is also really nice to be able to change my hair style as easy as choosing a different wig. There are good and bad about both.

Karaoke started a little after 9 and there were some new people here tonight to sing and they all really did well. It was hard to talk though with the music but as usual I sang along with the songs o liked. It was about 9:30 and Narcissista showed up. She is not actually a member of our group but comes here every few weeks. I got a chance to talk with her a little between songs. Laurie also didn’t show up tonight and she shows up almost e very Saturday around 10, missed seeing her even though I usually leave shortly after she arrives as I am not the late-night girls I use to be. Also, haven’t seen ate for a while. I texted her last week and she has been traveling a lot for work but should be back soon. Looking forward to seeing her again. Also, haven’t seen Julie for a while as she has been on Vacation. I am hoping she will make Wednesday night dinner this week as I really miss talking with her. I really do have some awesome friends (sisters) and I really do miss them. Cassandra is still taking a break and I really miss her also, I would love to get together with her also even in m ale mode if necessary. They are such a big part of my life now, my family.

It was a little after 11 when I called it a night, but it was such a fun night. I am going to try to get out Sunday for a little Susan time and write my blog and relax as Susan. Thanks for reading and be sure and keep up with what’s new on my most recent blog.

A few of my more recent blogs

A few hours on a Sunday afternoon

Saturday and a full day of Susan, going to the gun range to shoot.

Wednesday night dinner at Old Spaghetti factory

Saturday at the Escape

Wednesday night dinner at Hobo’s downtown

Saturday at the Escape on Memorial Day Weekend

Saturday May 19 2018 red dress party

Thursday night and having dinner with Charlene and her wife

Tuesday and my vacation comes to an end after 12 days

Sunday and the drive home from Palm Springs to Portland

Saturday and we leave Las Vegas to take Julie back to Palm Springs

Friday last day of Diva Las Vegas.

Thursday and we are going to tour the Hoover Dam

Tuesday night of Diva Las Vegas

Monday of Diva Las Vegas

Day 3 of Diva Las Vegas drive from Palm Springs to Las Vegas


July 8, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday and a full day of Susan, going to the gun range to shoot.

It is Saturday and today is our groups day at the gun range. Now I know this is not the typical transgender thing to do but our group really does try to do mainstream things and everyday type things ad yes there are women out there that like and shoot guns just like in our group. This is also not a political thing it is just some of our members have guns and like to shoot and what better way to do that then as our female selves. Jan and Lynn have hosted this for several years and have done an awesome job and I am excited as this is the first year I have been able to make it. This does mean a long day for Susan though as I will have to leave home at 8:30 am to get there by 9:30 and we will probably be there till 4 and no we will not be shooting all the time as we will have a BBQ and some socializing also.

I started getting ready at 7:30 and was ready about 8:40 so just a little behind when I wanted to leave. I was in my car and yes, I needed gas so I stopped to get gas and also ran into Albertsons to pick up some chips and cookies and pop for today. Jan and Lynn are providing hamburgers and I wanted to bring something and I forgot to pick it up last night. Now I do go to the Nail salon by my house and also Starbuck but not Albertson and the reason is I go to Albertsons as my male self but it was early and I normally go in here at night. It was a quick trio in and out as I was worried I would see someone I know, can’t keep my head down like I can at Starbucks. I didn’t see anyone I knew and that was good and soon I was on my way but behind schedule.

I got to the range about 9:45 and Jan and Lynn were there setting up. Now the weather today was a mix of everything but snow, we had sun where it was hot out, clouds where it was cold, light rain, heavy rain and even a little hail. Now todays event was from 9:30 till 4 or so and I was wondering how it could go so long although I did come prepared. I brought 2 rifles and 2 handguns including my new one and 200 rounds for each but even that would not last 6 plus hours. Well we got set up and did a little shooting and of course talking and it was fun, by the way my new gun works well. It was a little before noon and Wilma and her wife and daughter showed up so we had 6 of us here today, I was hoping more but it is a drive. It was great to see Wilma again as it has been a couple years. Well it was about 12:30 when we broke for lunch and Jan got out the grill and cooked up some awesome hamburgers, I guess I will have to find something else for dinner tonight at the Escape. We had a great lunch and got a chance to talk and catch up. It was really fun. It really was more about being with friends then the guns and shooting just like when I go to the bars it is about the people I am with that makes it special.

After lunch Jan broke out her shot guns and we did a little clay shooting, this is little discs that get shot out and you try and shoot them with shotguns, kind of like bird hunting. Jan, Lynn and Wilma did better than I as they hit some of them. I missed everyone I shot at but it was my first tine shooting this way. Little harder shooting moving targets. It was a lot of fun though. It was amazing how fast the day went and soon it was after 3:30 and it got dark and looked like it was going to really rain so I got my stuff loaded in the car and said my goodbyes and thanked Jan and Lynn for setting this up as it really was fun. Here I brought 4 guns and all that ammunition and only shot 2 of my guns and maybe 100 shots but as I said it really was about being there with my friends. On the way home, I realized I didn’t take a picture and regret it as I don’t have a picture of me shooting a gun, well there is always next year.

It was 4:45 when I got home and quickly unloaded my car and touched up my makeup and of course put on heels and I was on my way to the Escape as I wanted to get there early and catch up on my blog from Wednesday night dinner. It was about 5:30 when I got there and ordered some food, breakfast as I was not that hungry but wanted to order something. I ate and wrote my blog from Wednesday as I wanted for others to show up. Rebecca from up by Seattle was the first as she arrived at 7, she had the evening off and drove down just to go out with our group. She usually comes down for Wednesday night dinners but her schedule is a little mixed up right now. It was nice to talk with her as we waited for more to show up.

Jan & Lynn were next to arrive, Lynn had her target with her from the shooting range. Her target was a woman being attacked by a Zombie and she almost blew the head off the Zombie and not one shot hot the woman and that was from about 40 feet away, great shooting Lynn. Everyone was coming over to see it and even a couple people took pictures of it. Robyn also showed up so it looked like we might have a good group tonight. It was not real busy but it was still early. Usually 9:30 when Karaoke starts is when it starts getting busy. A little while later Laura M. and her girlfriend showed up as did Narcist and Lauri, even one of our girls stopped by briefly in male mode. It was a good night out for all but a long day. I left home this morning at 8:30am and except for about a 15-minute stop to unload my car and put on heels I was gone all day and evening. It was almost 11 when I called it a day. My makeup held up good all I needed was a little powder throughout the day to keep the shine away. The big win was my lipstick which looked just as good when I got home as it did when I left and that included eating a couple hamburgers at the range (sorry Julie I broke down and had 2 as they were so good) and also eating at the Escape. This is really good lipstick that stays put. It will take baby oil to get it off. I really recommend it although it is a matte color and it is a little heavier then normal lipstick but other then that it is wonderful. This is the red I was wearing and it is a beautiful color. I also have a few other more neutral colors for when I go out in the day.

It was almost 11:30 when I got home, it was a wonderful day out as Susan. Thanks for reading and be sure and see what is new in my life on my most recent blog.

June 10, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Saturday at the Escape

It is Saturday and tonight is the Rose Festival Starlight parade so I am not sure how many will be out at the Escape and the downtown area will be packed. But I am still going out. Now I do have to share a funny story, as you all know I have had acrylic nails now for over a year and probably for the last 6 months I have had a clear pink that in certain light does look pinkish. Well really no one has really said anything about them accept for the occasional “you nails look really nice” well yesterday I went and got my hair cut not as Susan as this is a male thing I do as I keep my hair short and it really needed to be done. Well the lady who cuts my hair is really nice and after my hair cut as I was paying her she noticed my nails. Well instead of your nails look nice what she said was wow I really love that color. Now I know there is a slight color to them but this is the first time someone has mentioned the color. I thanked her and then she followed with “you know what would look good you can fade the end into a white, not as much as French tip but a faded one, (name of other lady working there) has the same thing and it looks beautiful although hers are a lot longer”. Now this really caught me off guard as I really would like to do that but as I have seen this nail look and it is pretty, here is a picture of what it looks like but I just smiled and said this was enough for now. Now I must have said it a little fast as she apologized and said she hope she hadn’t offended me and I assured her she had not and it was fine. I guess I was just not prepared for someone to recommend how I could do my nails, next time I will handle it better. Now I am looking forward to my next haircut.

Anyway, back to Saturday and it was a busy day as I had things I had to do so it was after 5 when I got home and started getting ready so I will not be there by my usual 5:30. I took my time getting ready even though I knew I was running late and even still I was ready by a little after 6 and on my way. I got to the Escape at 6:30 and as I was waiting for traffic I noticed the parking lot was full so I debated about just going and finding a parking spot on the street but a saw someone come out and get in a car so I was going to luck out. Now there was a lot of traffic and by the time a break came and I could pull into the parking lot 3 cars had left and one more was backing out. I got here at the perfect time and got to park right in front of the door. I went in and all the tables were empty with just a few people at the bar. I sat down at our table and got my computer out and ordered dinner.

Now I had only been here a few minutes and Robyn showed up and right after her was Michelle. I talked with Robyn for a little bit and she showed me her heels she had just bought, very cute and high. My dinner came so I ate and Robyn and Michelle ordered the same thing, yes it was a hamburger so if I do go Sunday I will have to find something else.

Jan, Lynn, Kearren, Kate and one other girl showed up so we had 8 of us here and it was only a little after 7, this was great. Jan, Lynn and I talked about next Saturday as we are going to a gun range, Jan and Lynn are certified instructors and rent a gun range for the day and invite our members to go and shoot some guns and also give them some training if needed. They have done this for the last 5 years I think but this is the first year I am able to go so I am really looking forward to it. Now I know the bun issue is a hot topic right now but this is not meant to be a political issue it is just some girls getting together for some target practice and a picnic and some girl time with friends. If you like guns you can go if you don’t like them you don’t have to go it is just another group activity.

I got to talk with Kearren and Kate a little. Now Wednesday night at Dinner Kate was showing me some of her pictures from Diva Las Vegas and one has me in the background. I kind of think I photo bombed her on this although she is off to one side so maybe she was trying to get both of us in it but it was just such a cute picture I asked her if I could post it on my blog and she said yes. I always like to ask if I can post a picture if others are in it as I think it is the right thing to do.

Now there was a smaller crowd here tonight and a lot of them were people I hadn’t seen her before or just don’t remember but it was still fun and everyone was great as always. The Escape really is a great place to go and very excepting of everyone. Son it w as 9 and Karaoke started. It is hard to talk once the singing starts but still fun to listen to and sing along with the songs you know. Now again there were a lot of songs I didn’t know would even say I had never heard before. Is that a sign I am getting old?

Lauri showed up at her usual 9:45, I kid her a lot about being our late-night girl but I remember when I never went out till it was dark. I don’t think that is her reason though as I just think she is busy and doesn’t get a chance to get out earlier. I got to talk with her a little also so we had a total of 9 girls out tonight. It was a little after 11 when I called it a night and paid my bill. It is always sad to see the evening come to an end. I am hoping to get to go out Sunday late afternoon and evening for a few hours as I really look forward to my Starbuck’s time and I am now 2 blogs behind, Wednesday night dinner at Hobo’s and now Saturday night. The funny thing is I like going out as Susan to write my blogs but if I always do this I never get caught up as Sunday I will go out and do my blogs for the previous times but then I will need to find time to write my blog about Sunday at Starbucks.

I also realize a lot of my blogs may be repetitive in nature as I do and go the same places and I am glad so many people read them which I never thought people would but I really use this to document my time as Susan, my life as Susan, where I go, what I do and who is there, kind of my personal diary which I am happy to share. This is my 1075th blog post which means I have been out as Susan at least that many times. So hard to believe as 10 years ago I was happy if I could get out a couple times a year. I really do owe a lot to my friends that have helped me over the years.

Thanks for reading and being part of my life and be sure to keep up with Susan on my most recent blog.

June 4, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saturday at the Escape on Memorial Day Weekend

It is Saturday of Memorial Day weekend so I am not sure how many girls will be out but before I get into my blog I want to recognize the sacrifice so many American men and woman have made for our freedom and our way of life. We have and live in the greats country in the world and we owe it all to our brave service men and woman who dedicated their lives to protect us and some gave up everything for us. I want to thank you all and let you know how much we appreciate what you gave and let you know you are not forgotten.

Now I started getting ready early for two reasons, first I wanted to take my time and enjoy every moment of becoming Susan and second, I wanted to get there early so I could write my blog from Wednesday as I am once again behind in my blogging. Seems I just can’t find the time the next day to update things. Now it was about 4:45 when I was all done and ready to dress but I decided I would ware my corset tonight which also means picking out the right dress. I got the corset on and it really does give me a nice shape as I have hips and a waist which is several inches narrower, I will have to measure it sometime as I am curious. I got the corset on and put the dress I chose on and it just didn’t look right so off it came and back to the closet. It was the third dress I tried that I went with, a black and white one that goes down to mid-calf but also has a slit on the left that goes up to mid-thigh oh and also tight and clingy so the curves show. Being a girl is so much fun.

I got to the Escape just before 5:30 and went in. They were not that busy so I sat down and got my computer out and ordered dinner. I looked around and Kearren was also there early so she came over and joined me. It has been a while since I have seen her out, at least before Diva Las Vegas which was 6 weeks ago, wow time is flying. Well I put my computer away as it is always more fun to talk with someone then play on my computer, guess I will do my blog Sunday. It is sad as she will be moving too Idaho in a few weeks and I will miss her. We talked a while about why we do this and we both agreed there really is no right answer other then we enjoy it and it relaxes us. I guess for me Susan is part of who I am and when I can be her feel complete and that is a real enjoyable and relaxing feeling compared to hiding her away.

We got on the topic of Facebook and friends and peoples profiles. I will share my thoughts and remember these are just my thoughts for me. I do get a lot of friends request and I am selective of who I accept. Now it is not because I don’t want to be friends with people I just try to limit it to people I feel I will meet at some point or we have a lot of friends in common. I am not interested in having just numbers. Again, this is me, I see people with 5,000 friends and I have to ask myself how can you keep up with that many, at 100 a day it would take you 50 days to look at each of them. We also talked about profiles with no picture or information, again I don’t friend blank profiles although I have made the rare exception as sometimes people have valid reasons. I do have a few friends that I have met or have exchanged pictures with that just can’t put public info out but I do want to make sure people are real. Any way Kearren is trying to get a good picture of herself to post so I gave her my tips and again this is what works for me. I find I get my best pictures when the camera is above me and at a slight angle. So, I am going to post pictures taken different ways to show the difference. It is amazing the difference that different angles make.

Well Kate was the next to show up so the 3 of us sat and talked for a while. Then Kate and Kearren went to play pool so I thought about getting my computer out but then Bobbie showed up followed by Jan & Lynn. Now a funny story as a group of women showed up about 8 and they were all waring Tutu’s and looked so cute. Well I had to tell them that and soon I was talking to a couple of them. It turns out one of their friends had been working on the East coast the last 2 months and was back in town for the weekend and had asked 1 of them to pick her up at the airport. Well this friend had this great idea and got several of her friends to show up at the airport in tutu’s and hold up signs as they waited for her to get off the plane, signs like welcome back from rehab, and so on. It was so funny. Any way I just thought I would share this so remember this the next time you ask a friend to pick you up at the airport or if you are going to pick someone up.
kellybea also showed up tonight with her wife, she is one of our newer members and has gone out a couple times in Salem but she drove up here tonight. It was really nice to meet her and her and her wife seem really nice. I got to talk with them a little which was nice and I hope they cam get out more with our group. I really do like when I meat new people. It was about 9:30 and Lauri showed up so we had a good size group tonight, 10 in all.

It was also getting crowded now as people were coming in for karaoke and that is always fun although you really can’t talk anymore as it gets to loud. Now a lot of the songs sung tonight I have never herd or at least don’t remember so when the ones I know were sung I would sing a long quietly of course. Now I did get several compliments on my dress as it really did look good. I wish I had gotten a picture of me standing so I would be able to show off the dress but I didn’t think of that. Any way of course I would thank them and got into conversations with them also which really makes a fun night. Alice would have been so proud of me as I probably talked with at least 6 women there I didn’t know and had never met so much different from 10/15 years ago when I would go out and just sit and keep to myself and not make eye contact with people. It really is fun to interact with people.

This brings me back to another thing Kearren and I talked about, passing in public which is a question I get asked a lot. Both do I pass and for those who ask me this, thanks for the compliment, and also, I will get asked by others if they pass as they don’t want to go out unless they

pass. No, I do not pass in the way people ask or think. Yes, there are times, right lighting, distance, alcohol intake and so on when I do but I do not even come close to passing 100% and that is okay. For me passing means something totally different. If I can go out and not be bothered, not be made fun of, be treated as a female then I have passed. Passing to me is being accepted for who I am. Tonight here I passed 100% as always. I am always accepted here and treated as any other woman her and that is a great feeling. Now what will help you is being confident and by this, I mean acting like this is the most natural thing for you, like you are not doing anything wrong, the other big thing is smile and be polite, this goes a long way. Again, this is just my thoughts and views and that and $5 will get you a drink at Starbucks. Now the 3 pictures above were all taken right in a row with me sitting in the same position. The only thing that changes was the height and angle of my phone and I did try to keep the same facial expression.

It was a good night out and I ended up staying out later then I planned as it was almost 11:30 when I paid my bill and called it a night and I think I was actually the first to leave. Wow the girls stayed out late tonight. Now I did go back through some old pictures and found one of me in the dress I wore tonight so this will give you an idea of how I looked but tonight I had curves. It really was a wonderful night. I do plan on going to Starbucks on Sunday and as I have Monday off I will be out in the morning and early afternoon. Not sure what I will do, maybe get together with some friends for shopping or lunch. I really do lov e this part of my life.

Thanks for reading and be sure and see what’s new with Susan on my most recent blog.

May 28, 2018 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Saturday before Diva Las Vegas, out at the Escape.

It is the Saturday before Diva Las Vegas and I am going to the Escape tonight to spend some time with my friends. I won’t be out here in Portland with them for a couple weeks. I started getting ready early as I wanted to stop at ULTA and see if they had some self-tanning lotion. Yes, I want a little more of a tan before I go to Las Vegas, something my male side could care less about. Any way I was ready by 4:45 and on my way. I got to ULTA and went in and looked around and found what I wanted. The lady at the checkout complimented me on my nails. Now it has been over 3 weeks since I got my nails done. They really do look good but they are getting pretty long at lest for my male side. I left ULTA and went to the escape and got there about 5:30 and went in and ordered dinner.

It wasn’t long and Kate and Cassandra showed up. It was great to see them again. WE sat around and talked mostly about Diva Las Vegas as we are all going. Kate will get there on Sunday and Cassandra, Julie and I will get there on Saturday. Cassandra, Peggy and I will leave early Friday morning and drive to Palm Springs to drop Peggy off and pick up Julie. It is going to be so much fun. Of course, I will have my long pretty nails. I will get my nails done on Thursday and then it will be 12 days of living as Susan. I was talking about it and Kate is also thinking of getting her nails done, it would be her first time and I know she will enjoy it. I told her when I was going and she might meet me and get her nails done with me. It really would be fun to go to the nail salon with someone. Now there were a couple of ladies and a man with them that came over and talked with us for a while before they left. I really do like meeting and talking with new people.

Jan and Lynn also showed up tonight and it was good to see them also and Michele also was there. Michele is also going to Diva Las Vegas although she will arrive on Monday and only be there till Friday. We have several girls going for their first time, Kate, Laura M. and Michele. I know they will have a fun time. Now I am not sure how many we have going from our group but I do know Melissa and her wife, Laura M, Kate, Brenda, Veronica, Michele, Keri, and of course Julie, Cassandra and myself so we will have at least 11 from Portland in Las Vegas. It really is fun when we have a big group from Portland going.

Now it got busy as it always does as Karaoke started. It was fun but it got loud and was hard to talk. Lorie showed up a little before 10 as she is our late-night girl so we had a good turnout tonight. It was nice to talk with everyone and just enjoy a fun night out with friends. As Susan I am way more social then my male self. It was a good night out. Next will be Thursday when I start my stretch of Susan. Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up with what is new in my life on my most recent blog.

April 8, 2018 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape

Saturday and I get to go out again. But first I want to talk about Facebook and tolerance. Social media and especially Facebook has made it so easy to attack others who are different, have different views, beliefs and life styles and it has become accepted and I find this troubling. I have friends of all kinds and it seems that we are drawing lines between each other, us against them. Just my view point but if you want others to accept you than you need to accept them and this includes their views. I am not saying you have to agree with them but you need to accept their right to their views. I am transgender, I like to express pat of my life as female. I don’t believe or even expect everyone to like how I live my life but I do expect them to recognized my right to my life. I will never judge or attack someone who believes different than I do and I will never unfriend someone who is different or has a different view. What I am asking is for all you to do the same, please think before you post something and try to think how you would feel if someone said or posted something like that about you. Let’s see if we can start bringing people together instead of driving them apart.

I started getting ready earl so I could have more time as Susan. I got to the Escape at 5:30 and found a parking spot right in front. Now this early they were not that busy but that would change. I got our usual table and ordered dinner, got out my computer and waited to see who else would show up. Cassandra was the first to show up right before 6. It was good to see her and we got talking. Of course, the main topic is Diva Las Vegas which starts in two weeks. We will leave on the 13th and drive to Palm Springs to pick up Julie and be in Las Vegas on April 14. I will get my nails done on the 12th and I will have beautiful long acrylic nails for 12 days, I look forward to this every year. I really do wish I could have long pretty nails all the time. I do get asked all the time when I am going to transition and the answer is I am not but if I could have a way to have long pretty red nails all the time I would in a second. It really is a shame men can’t take have pretty nails. It is funny and a little unfair that woman have so many options, long hair or short, dresses or pants, heels of flats, makeup or no makeup, long nails or short. When it comes to fashion and looks women have so many more choices.

Kate showed up next and it was good to see her also. The 3 of us kept talking, it is really enjoyable to just sit and talk, at least Susan thinks so. It is probably the biggest difference between my male self and Susan. As my male self I can do conversations but it is not something I go out of my way to do or find really fun. It also helps I have such wonderful friends. That is another thing I am really looking forward to about Diva Las Vegas and also the cruise as I will get to spend almost two weeks with them. I really have come a long way as Susan, as my female self and excepting this side of me as who I am and it really is because of the wonderful people I have met and are now some of my closest friends.

Rachel also showed up for a little while, she doesn’t get out often so it is always nice when she does. Page also showed up as did Kris and her boyfriend so we had 6 of us here tonight. It started to get busy about 8 which is always nice as it is fun to people watch. Karaoke started around 9 and it always gets busy then and loud. It makes it hard to talk once it gets this loud but still a fun time. I think that’s one of the reasons I like to get here early. Lori showed up a little after 9 which is actually early for her. I stayed a little longer so I could talk with Lori for a while which was hard with Karaoke going on. It was almost 10 when I left.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new with Susan on her on my most recent blog.

April 1, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night with my friends.

Once again it is Saturday night and I am going to the Escape to spend times with my friends. I always look forward to the time I spend with my friends and I am really looking forward to Diva Las Vegas which is weeks away. I will get 12 days living full time as Susan and of course I will be able to get long pretty acrylic nails for the trip. I started getting ready early as my Susan time for the next couple weeks will be limited as I get ready for the trip.

I got to the Escape about 5:30 and I got lucky and found a parking spot, the last one. I got our usual table inside and kearren was already there, it was good to see her again as it has been a while since she has been out with our group. It was good to get a chance to talk with her as we waited for others to show up. Of course, I ordered dinner and the food was good as always. Kate showed up next and the 3 of us talked till Kearren left, she was going to a dance with some of the ladies from the bar. Now of course I had to get a few pictures with Kate, well actually she thought of the pictures. I remember years ago when I was always getting pictures, I must have a couple thousand pictures of Susan on my computer. Now I don’t think about getting pictures and sometimes I regret it so I was happy Kate thought of it. Now it is funny as people always tell me I never take a bad picture, truth is I only post the good ones but tonight I really liked the way my makeup turned.

Cassandra showed up next and we talked a little about Diva Las Vegas and our Mexican cruise. I am really looking forward to both. Diva Las Vegas because it is so close as I said 3 weeks away and there is still time to sign up if you are thinking of going. The Mexican cruise as I have never been on a cruise before but also because I am planning of doing the whole cruise as Susan including flying down and back as Susan plus I will be able to get my nails a little longer for that. For Diva Las Vegas I have to keep them a little shorter so I can hold a golf club. There will be some first on the cruise, not only flying but I will be traveling to another country as Susan.

Michelle also showed up tonight and I can’t remember the last time I saw her out, she is also thinking or going to Diva Las Vegas. She asked if there was still time to sign up. I am hoping she goes. I think we have at least 10 going this year to Diva Las Vegas from our group. Jan and Lynn also showed up along with one other girl so we had a good crowd here tonight.

Now there were a couple ladies here, they were sisters and they came over and started talking with us. They were really nice and I think they wanted to get to know us, not sure if they have ever met a T-girl before. It was fun to talk with them and of course I had to get pictures with them. Now I talked a little with both of them but and it was fun meeting them and getting to know them a little. It is funny as Susan I really love meeting new people, in my male life I am way shyer and tend to stay more to myself so I guess there are differences between Susan and my male side. Now I didn’t get or remember both their names but one was named Natalie and this is a picture of me with her. Karaoke had started so it was loud and was hard to hear.

Now about 10 Kearren came back wit the group that went to the dance and Lorie also showed up so we had 8 of us here tonight. Now there were a couple ladies at the table next to me. They were going outside and asked if I would watch their drinks for them, I said I would. Now when they came back in I got talking to them and they were really nice also. Their names were Nicole and Rachel. I wish I had thought to get pictures with them also. I met some really nice people here tonight and that made the night so much more fun. It was almost 11:30 when I called it a night.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

March 26, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape, Saint Patrick’s Day

It is Saturday and our group is once again going to Salem to join the girls down there. I have been there a few times and it is a nice place just such a far drive as it takes me over an hour to get there. Now I was planning on going as I wanted to see some of the girls down there again but as always things come up. I had things to do earlier in the day and they took longer to get done then I planned. It was almost 5 before I started getting ready so it would be a rush. Now I have been getting to the Escape between 5:30 and 6 so going to Salem I would still be there by 7 but not tonight. It was after 6 when I was ready to leave and I was still thinking of going but as I pulled out of the garage I saw my fuel light on as I forgot to fill up so I stopped at Costco to get gas and of course had to wait in line. I filled up and of course I noticed everyone getting gas had on green, that’s right it is Saint Patrick’s Day. Anyway, by now it was almost 6:30 and it would still be an hour to get to Salem and then there was the drive home after people celebrated. I decided to go to the Escape instead and see who showed up there. I got there at 6:45 and went in after a quick selfie in the car.

Now they were not busy so I got our normal table hoping we would have a big group. I then went to the bar to order food, Lindsey was working tonight, she only works when they need extra help so it was great to see her again, really all the girls working here are wonderful. I got back to my table and no more then got my computer out and Kate showed up so I put it away. It was great to see her as I was wondering if I would be the only one tonight. Well we got talking and of course the most important topic came up, nails. Kate actually likes my nails how I have been doing them the last several months, so I explained how I have them done and really it is no different than any other woman other then the acrylic is a lot thinner layer. Kate has had a pedicure before but never had acrylic nails and as I have said I think everyone should try it at least once. I explained about the process and soon I had my computer back out showing her a few videos. I love watching online as I have learned a lot this way. One I really like for learning makeup techniques is Julia Graf, she does an amazing job breaking down different looks. The other if you want to learn about acrylic nails is by Suzie and she shows you the different styles, looks and how to do. You really can learn most anything watching videos on YouTube.

Any way we talked about so many things tonight and of course why we do this and again there really is no easy simple reason other then we enjoy it. The same as anyone else who likes to dress up sometimes we just do it as the opposite gender. By about 7:30 it started to get busy and I mean busy, it was a packed house tonight. Seems everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick’s Day and wants to celebrate. There were a lot of new faces here tonight also. Now of course I had to get a picture with Kate tonight. It still amazes me how often and how many pictures I have of Susan, I can’t remember the last time I took a picture of my male self. I probably have a couple thousand Susan pictures on my computer and maybe 10 of my male self.

Any way I really started my blog all those years ago just as a way for me to document and remember my adventures as Susan, the early ones are pretty simple, pretty much where I went and that was it. Here are a couple early blogs from 2006, including a quick stop at Hooters. I never really thought anyone would find much less want to read about my time as Susan. As I saw people were not only reading it but following it I started to write more and in more detail. It really has been a fun thing to do over the years. Again, I would recommend everyone write down at least the important things in your life so you can remember them and maybe share them. A blog is a great way as you can set it public or private or even have it public but keep some private, opps a little off topic again.

By 8:30 it was packed and standing room only and as it was only Kate and I when a few people asked if they could have the other end of our table we said yes, no sense us taking up a table for 8 when it was just the two of us. Karaoke started about 9:30 and that is when it usually gets loud but with so many people here tonight just talking around you it was loud already. It is amazing how fast the night was going just sitting there talking, this really is the feminine side of me as in my male side I am not really a talker, I don’t sit around and just talk but Susan loves to sit and talk.

Lorie showed up a little before 10, she is our late-night girl. She doesn’t get out till 9:30 or 10 and I assume usually closes the bar. I remember those days for me, I wouldn’t leave the house till it was dark so my neighbors wouldn’t see me, even in the winter when it got dark early I still didn’t go out much before 7 for fear one of my neighbors might look out the window and of course we would stay till the place we went closed. Now I don’t even look outside any more or care what time it is. I know one of my neighbors knows about Susan, she found out back in 2012 and she has had no problem with it, as a matter of fact I ran into her at Starbucks the other day, first time she has seen me up close and talked with me. I don’t know if she has told anyone, I hope not as I really do want to keep this side of me private but I am also not afraid of it anymore and I kind of think most of my neighbors know. As much as I go out and I have seen many of my neighbors outside as I pull out of the garage or drive down the street they at the very least have to wonder. It does make it a lot easier when you lose that fear but as I said I still don’t want people telling others about me but I am not going to stop being me.

Kate, Lorie and I talked some more but it was getting late and I do have to be up early so it was about 10:30 When I went up to pay my bill which was no easy thing to do as there was a huge line, it took me about 15 minutes standing in line. It really was a fun night and a lot of new faces here tonight. It was a small group but so much fun to socialize. It is not about where we go or what we do but the friends you are with. It is funny as I have been going to Bars with friends at least once a week for 10 years now and yet I don’t drink. Now early on I would occasionally order a glass of wine and slowly sip on it all night as I felt I had to but I quickly figured out I needed to be me, be Susan and that means I didn’t need to drink either. I really have met some wonderful people over the years and am lucky to have them as friends.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

March 19, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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