Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday evening at the Escape

It is Saturday and that means I get to go out tonight to the Escape and see my friends. I posted in the group I would be there by 6 but it looks like I may make it a little earlier as I got home a little earlier. I know Kris and Bobbie will be there but not sure who else will show up. Okay I have to give a funny story; I got an e-mail last week and didn’t recognize the e-mail address so I let it go for a few hours before I took the time to read it. I opened the e-mail and it started off I Susan and then there was some writing but before I could read it my eyes were drawn down further because in a huge font that stood out was my male name and address. My heart jumped in my throat for a moment till I read the e-mail. Turns out it was from my attorney and they had collected some money from our P-club case years ago and were going to send out small checks again, seems to come about every 12 to 18 months and is out 3rd such payment. They are small and I don’t think it even covers the interest that is being charged to him so he probably owes us more than when this started. Well back to tonight.

I started getting ready about 3:45 so I was all ready by 5 and on my way. Now I know one of my neighbors knows and have to believe others do although no one has said a thing. I only say this as I opened my garage door to leave my older neighbor across the street, the one I know the best was out front in his wheel chair getting some sun. he wasn’t looking my way so I just pulled out. 2 houses down the lady living there was working on her front yard right by the street and as I drove by, she looked right at me. The next house down the man living there was in the street by his car as I drove by and the house at the end both the man and woman living there were out working in their front yard. The problem with summer and ice weather. A few years back I would not have left till they went in now I just don’t care. I got to the Escape about 5:20 and got a parking spot right in front and went in. I brought my computer and sweater as it tends to be cold inside on hot days as they have the air conditioner up, reason I wear my ankle boots instead of open toes heels. Now Bobbie was already here as it turns out his ride dropped him off about 3:45.

We got one of the big tables with hopes we would have a good turnout tonight. I ordered dinner, my usual hamburger which is awesome actually everything I have had here is good. Now Bobbie was watching the Basketball game so I took the time to write my blog from Wednesday night dinner which was awesome. We had been here about 45 minutes and Bobbie went outside to sit at one of the tables and when I finished my blog, I went out for about 15 minutes to get warm I did get a selfie of me while I was out side.

I went back in and sat down at our table and a few minutes later Betty showed up. It was great to see her again, she has been here a couple times but it was several months ago although I did see her at the Trans parade in Portland. Now it was early so it was still quiet and we had a good chance to catch up on what is new and get to know each other better which I really enjoy. There is just something I enjoy as Susan talking with others. I think I may have convinced her to go to Diva Las Vegas next year as she has not been to Las Vegas since the late 70’s, I think she would have a blast.

Bobbie came back in and Michele also showed up as did Kris so we had a nice small group tonight and was very easy to talk with everyone which make it awesome as I don’t feel like someone I getting left out. The other girls ordered food and we just sat and had a wonderful time. It was after 8 and Wendy showed up. I have met her a couple times before so it was nice to see her again also. Now I was talking with Betty and she asked me what kind of phone I have; it is a Samsung Galaxy 8 and I love it. It is my 3rd Samsung and I would highly recommend them. She has an Apple and I am not saying they are bad I just prefer the Samsung. Any way she was not happy with the pictures hers takes and it may be an old phone so I took a couple with my phone of us and she thought they were awesome. If you have a phone that does not take good pictures try a Samsung. Well I texted her the pictures but forgot to ask if I could post them but since she posted them on her Facebook, I feel safe in posting one in my blog. I love to have my picture taken and posted but I know some girls don’t so I always ask.

By 9 Karaoke started and it was getting busy as it always does but it also gets louder and harder to talk, so we would listen to the singing and talk between songs. Kris got up and sang a few times. Now there are some really good singers here and a few not so good but hey if you can get up and try you are good as I still haven’t mastered that at least not by myself. One of the ladies who works Trixie here got off early but she stayed and hung out with her friends and tonight she sang a song. She may have sung before but if she did, I must have missed it but any way she did great also.

It was about 9:45 and Lauri showed up and all of us were still here so we had 7 of us here tonight. Now I usually get here early try for 6 so by 10 I am ready to call it a night. I am just not the late-night girls I use to be. When I first started going out it was usually 8 or 9 when I went out maybe later during the summer when it was light later and it was usually 2 or 2:30 when I left for home, yes I use to close down the bars and sometimes I would go out for something to eat or dessert, only did this a couple times once with Veronica. Any way I was having so much fun I stayed later tonight. It was almost 11:30 when I called it a night. it really is sad when the night comes to an end and I know I have to go home and change back to my male self. Now don’t get the wrong ideas as I am not going to Transition and have no plans to go full time but Susan is so limited 2 to 3 nights a week that it really is sad when she goes away.

Anyway, it was a wonderful night made more special by my friends. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what in going on now in my life.


July 14, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Last Saturday of June at the Escape.

It is the last Saturday of June and I get to go to the Escape tonight. I didn’t get home till 4:30 so I started getting ready as I wanted to be to the Escape by 6. I got to the Escape about 5:45 and went in. they were not busy at all so I got our usual table and set up my computer to work on my blogs and then I ordered some food. I finished my blog from last Saturday and posted it and started working on my blog from Wednesday night dinner. I was almost done with my blog when Nicole and her daughter walked in. turns out they are coming through town on their way home and decided to stop and have dinner and spend a little time here tonight, how awesome is that.

It is a funny store as they only decided about an hour ago when they realized what time they would get to Portland. When they stopped about an hour earlier Nicole got dressed and did her makeup in the car which was a first for her. I on the other hand have a lot of experience at this as do a lot of girls. Early on when I was just making late night drives or going out once every few months, I had to do it this way as I had a roommate who didn’t know. I would load all my stuff in the car the night before and then the night I was going out I would shave really good and shower before I left home and then drive to nearby park that had an upper parking lot that was never really busy and I would park there and get dressed in my car and then do my makeup in the rearview mirror. I would go out or drive around and hen stop at the rest area and change clothes and go wash my face the best I could, on a few occasions if it was late enough, I would sneak into my house and hope I didn’t wake my roommate. What we all go through to be able to be who we are.

Well it was nice to see them again and get to hear all about their father (Nicole) & daughter vacation. They had a wonderful time and yes Nicole did get out on the vacation not just here in Portland. Her daughter is accepting and supportive of her which is so wonderful. Nicole really is lucky to have a supportive wife and 2 daughters who all know about her. I heard some of the highlights of their trip and a few of the things they did I have done before when I was on vacation there but a few others I haven’t and want to. I really want to do another Susan Vacations but it may have to wait till next year when I go to Diva Las Vegas again.

Melissa showed up tonight also, I had told her at Wednesday night dinner Nicole and her daughter were here last Saturday on their way and I think show was hoping they would stop by tonight. The 4 of us sat and talked and yes Nicole’s daughter was right in the conversation and yes, we did ask when she found out about Nicole and what she thought and it seemed to be no big deal to her. I give her a lot of credit for being that supportive and open minded. It was a little later and Michele also showed up so we had 5 of us tonight well 5 counting Nicole’s daughters. Now it was not busy at all here tonight. There were 5 women at the next table and a couple at the bar and our group maybe 15 people. The good thing was it was very quiet so it was perfect for talking. We really weren’t watching the TV as the sport tonight that had on was ultimate fighting and none of us were really into that. It is funny though as I am not a basketball or football fan and never watch it at home but I do watch it as Susan when I am out. Who would have thought years ago I would be in a bar dressed as Susan watching sports? I guess everything is more fun when you are female.

Well 9 pm came and it was time for Karaoke and there was still only 12 to 15 here including our group of 5. The lady running Karaoke sang a song to start it off and then waited for someone to come sing. Between 9 and 9:45 I think there were only 6 songs sang, 2 by the lady doing karaoke and 2 by another guy and then 2 others. I was actually tempted to sing tonight as there were so few people here but I didn’t have a song to do. I think I will have to practice a song and have it ready incase we have another slow night here. I tried to get Nicole’s daughter to sing and she said she would sing right after me so it would have been fun if I could have done a song tonight. It is hard to explain why I can’t get up the courage to sing. Ii will go pretty much any place as Susan and not care what people think but I am worried what they will think if I try to sing a song. Same goes for dancing, I look foolish when I dance. It is strange how the mind works.

It was about 9:30 when Nicole and her daughter left for home as they still have about a 2-hour drive and somewhere on the way Nicole will stop and change back from being Nicole, as she never comes or goes from her house as Nicole as they don’t want their neighbors to know. I also remember those days where I would not leave till it was dark and all my neighbors were inside or I would put on my clothes with a big coat over them, sunglasses on to hid my eye and the visor pulled down and hair on the car seat nest to me and I would leave and then stop in a parking lot and take the coat off, put my hair on and then my lipstick. We all find a way eventually to get out as who we are. It was sad to see them leave but I will see Nicole again and maybe, just maybe her daughter will accompany her again on one of her visits. It is funny as we did ask what she thought about Nicole but I wanted to ask her what her thoughts were on the rest of us.

It was about 9:40 when Melissa and Michele left and as I said it was really slow here tonight still only about 15 people but as it was close to 10 and I was almost sure Lauri would be here I decided to wait so I could see her also. She is our late-night girl and shows up between 9:45 and 10. She actually got her about 9:45 about 5 minutes after the others left. It was nice to see her again and talk to her a little. She may not be out next Saturday as she is planning on going downtown to the Portland Blues festival. We talked a little before I went and paid my bill, the good thing about being slow is I didn’t have to wait to pay my bill. It was probably 10:15 or so when I called it a night and left for home. It was a really fun night.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 4, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday night at the Escape

Saturday and I get to go to the Escape with my friends and I am looking forward to it. I got home late so I had to rush to get ready as I wanted to be there by 6. I was on my way by 5:30 and got to the Escape right at 6 and went in. not what is funny is last week at the Trans March I ran into a lady I haven’t seen I in 5 years, well tonight I saw her again as she and her friends were sitting at the tables out front. Funny how that works. I got inside and got our normal table and set up my computer as I like to get here a little early so I always bring it so I have something to do. Well I had just sat down and Nicole showed up and what a surprise. It turns out Nicole and her daughter are doing a father daughter vacation and yes Nicole is part of that trip as her daughter came with her tonight, how awesome is that. Yes, not only tonight but at least one other night in their trip it will be Nicole. It turns out her wife and daughters know all about Nicole and they are supportive of her which is so awesome. It was so nice to talk to them both and get to talk to her daughter and get her impression of how she feels. Now we did get some pictures, Nicole wanted one of her and I took one of her with her daughter it really was a nice picture and memory. I also got a picture of me. I wore one of my newer dresses with my corset so I have nice curves.

Well we ordered dinner and sat and talked as we waited for others to show up. Kimberly was the first to show up, it was good to see her again. She comes out more to the Wednesday night dinners but has come to the Escape before. The 4 of us sat and talked for a while. It wasn’t long and others showed up. Now once again it is a week later before I got a chance to write this blog so I may miss some. Kris, Stacy, Jennifer & her wife, Laura M and her girlfriend showed up so we had a good turnout tonight and we filled our table. It was so nice to get a chance to sit and talk with all of them. Now in my male life I am not big on just sitting around and talking but when I am out as Susan, I really do like talking with friends and people.

As always it started to get busy the closer it got to 9 when Karaoke starts and I really do like it when it is busy as it gives us a good chance to interact or at least be seen by others and yes it is a lot of the same people who come here but there are also some new people who also come here. Well Karaoke started and of course some of our members got up and sang. Kimberly got up and sang and she did the song Love Shack which is actually a duet so she was looking for someone to help her, Kris went up and sang it with her and they did a good job. Now it does get hard to talk once karaoke starts but it is fun to listen. It is just a fun night out.

Nicole and her daughter were the first to leave but it was so nice to see Nicole again and get to meet her daughter, I really hope they have a wonderful vacation together, I look forward to the next time I see her so I can hear all about her vacation. Well we sat and listened to singing and talked in between the songs. Now I stayed till a little after 11 before I called it a night, I paid my bill and said my goodbyes before heading home. it really was a wonderful night out.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new.

June 29, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday at the Escape

Another week over and I am going to the Escape for the evening. Now this week I was able to start getting ready earlier so I was able to take my time and enjoy getting ready. I was ready and on my way by 5 as I like getting there early as it gives me time to eat and play on my computer a little. Now I got there and parked right in front another benefit of going early.

Now normally I get one of the big tables in case others show up but tonight they had several big parties and all the tables were reserved except for the ones along the window so that is where I sat tonight. I went up and ordered dinner, I get a hamburger here almost every week but I wanted something a little healthier so I ordered breakfast, eggs, sausage and fries and of course pancakes. Well maybe not that much healthier but really good.

It wasn’t long and lee showed up with a couple of her friends, Britney and Sierra. Now I met lee a while ago and have seen her out a few times so it was nice to get a chance to talk with her while it was not busy yet. Lee doesn’t get out much but she has come out to several people she knows which is something I have not done. It really was n ice to talk with them.

A little later Jan, Lynn and Kris showed up so we had a good turnout but we were at 3 small tables by the window as by not the other groups had shown up and it was really busy. Karaoke started so it got a little loud but being over by the windows wasn’t as loud as where we usually sit so there was a benefit sitting here. It is fun listening to those who will get up and sing and the songs I know I can sing along with from my table.

Lauri also showed up which was nice but also lets me know it is getting close to when I go is funny as I use to not go out till 9 or later, now by 10 I am ready to go home. I think it is because Susan has become so much a part of me, I can leave my house anytime. Now I have talked to girls and I am not going to just go around and tell people about me but I am not going to hide in my house. If my neighbors see me, they see me.

It was about 11:30 when I called it a night. It was a fun night out with my friends. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

June 15, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Going to the Escape on Saturday

Its another Saturday and that means going to the Escape, now normally I try to get there between 5 & 6 so I can eat dinner and play on my computer a little before others start showing up but today I had to work and I didn’t get home from work till after 4 so I will be a little later tonight. I took my time getting ready tonight as I wanted to enjoy the transformation. It is hard to explain but there is something so relaxing and calming about transforming myself into Susan, I really do enjoy the time I spend doing my makeup. I was ready and on my way about 5:40 which was good as I really figured with working today it would be closer to 7 when I got to the Escape.

I got there right at 6 and the parking lot was full so I pulled out and parked on the street, I got the first spot on the street so it was still close. Now as I was walking into the parking lot 2 cars pulled out and I thought about moving my car but figured by the time I could pull around the block the spots might be gone and I might lose the spot I had, you know the old saying a bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush, some of my younger readers may not understand. I went in and set my computer down on the table and went up to order, Nicole was already at the bar ordering, she got here just before I did. Nicole lives a couple hours north of here and only gets down every few months so it is always great to see here again and get a chance to talk with her.

Now I will give my pitch for Blogging. I would encourage everyone to do a Blog of your life, it can be an everyday thing like a diary, about specific things in your life or just a part of your life like my blog about my feminine side. It is awesome to be able to look back on things in your life, things you have done, places you have gone or people you have met or just pictures you have taken. The good thing about blogs is you can have them public, private, or share them with just certain people and you can even do a combination and just have certain blog posts private or public. Well back to my blog.

Nicole and I sat down and started talking and catching up from the last time she was in town. It was so much fun, just 2 ladies sitting and talking. Now we ordered pretty much at the same tome but her food came and she had finished by the time I got mine, I guess a burger takes longer than a grilled chicken sandwich. It was around 7 when Michele showed up, she has been coming out more which is nice. Now being Pride week, we wondered how busy it would be tonight as there is also the Starlight parade and run in downtown Portland tonight as well as a Portland Timbers game. It did get a little busy between 7:30 and 8:30 and then thinned out till about 9:30 when it got busy again, Karaoke started at 9and that usually brings in the people. Bobbie, Jan and Lynn also showed up. It was great to see them. Jan and Lynn are also wonderful friends and also know me as both my male and female sides. A few years back I was out at an event and I saw Jan and Lynn (Jan was in male mode) and without thinking I waved and said Hi Jan and Lynn and as soon as I said it, I realized I was not Susan. Any way there was nothing I could do as Lynn was looking around for Susan so I just kept waving till she saw me and realized I was my male self. It is still amazing how many of my friends I have met as Susan have seen or even know me as my male self. I never would have thought this possible.

Well we all sat and talked for a while, a little while later Melissa, Kris and another girl from our group showed up so it looked like we would have a good turnout tonight after all. Karaoke Started and of course Lynn went up and sang as did Kris, Kris and Lynn actually sang a duet. Now there is a diverse group of people who come here and sing, some sing old songs, rock songs, pop, country and even rap and they are all good. I look at it this way if you are willing to get up and sing you are good and deserve applause as that takes a lot of courage. Any way there is one young man probably in his mid to late 20’s who has been coming her and singing every Saturday for months now. He is tall probably 6’4″ and skinny and long brown hair and he does a really good job when he sings and usually the same songs. Any way tonight she was here again, yes, I said she as tonight she had done her makeup and had a nice deep red lipstick and a nice outfit, very casual but feminine and she looked amazing. Even with her height she looked very feminine. She was at the other side of the bar with a couple of her friends and they seemed like this was totally natural for her, how awesome is that.

About 10 Lauri showed up so we had 9 of us here tonight. Now with the Karaoke going it was hard to talk but we were still having fun but I was getting tired as I got up about 4am this morning to go to work but it was cold in here again tonight as they had the air conditioning going again and that was helping keep me awake. Normally not an issue for me in my male life but women’s clothes are not designed for warmth as you can see from my picture above, I had bare shoulders but I did wear my ankle boots tonight so my feet didn’t get cold, trust me open toes heels look awesome but do nothing to keep your feet warm.

Nicole was the first to leave but she will be b ack in town in a few weeks as she is taking a father daughter trip with one of her daughters and they will stop in Portland on the way. Now her wife and kids know about Nicole and our supportive but I am not sure her daughter will come out with her as it could be a little intimidating to come meet all of us at a bar. After Nicole left Melissa was the next to leave, I really thought I would be the first to leave tonight but I was just having so much fun. It was a little after 11 when I just couldn’t make it anymore so I went up and paid my bill and said my goodbyes.

On the way out I stopped at the other side of the bar and told the tall young lady how awesome she looked tonight and how well she sang. I wish I had got her name but I am hopeful she will be here again. With that I left and drove home. it was a long day but so worth going out tonight.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new in my life as Susan.

June 4, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Saturday night as Susan at the Escape.

It is Saturday and yes, another night out as Susan. Now I got home late today about 4 so I would have to rush to get ready as I like getting to the Escape early. Now it is a hot day today upper 80’s so I decided to wear my white and black summer dress, here is a picture from Diva Las Vegas of me in the dress I am wearing tonight. I was ready and on my way by 5 and got to the Escape about 5:30. Now there parking lot was full so I had to park on the street but it was a nice sunny day so I didn’t mind the short walk. I did bring my sweater as on hot days they sometimes have the air conditioner on low and it can get chilly inside. I got my normal table and ordered dinner and then caught up on some e-mails I have been behind on. I also posted my blog from Last Saturday which I wrote earlier in the day, yes it was a week late as have been really busy the last couple weeks.

Now I posted in the group I would be here but got no replies but I am sure someone will show up. Michele was the first to show up a little after 6. We talked a little, I really do enjoy this part of Susan as my male side is not big on just sitting and talking. We also talked about our group the Rose City T-girls as we have been getting some newer members out which is nice but we also have a few that are having a hard time with that first step out in public. I have been in touch with one who almost made it out a few weeks ago but at the very last minute couldn’t get out of her car so I gave her my cell # and told her to text me and I would come out and meet her at her car so she didn’t have to walk in alone. Well I hadn’t herd from her so I texted her to make sure she had my number and she texted me back that she just couldn’t o it again tonight. Now I am not putting her name in as I don’t wish to make her feel bad as there is nothing to feel bad about this. I just want to bring this out that it is really common. Walking out into the public as your female self the first time is really hard and I would say almost all of us have gone through it. I myself drove to Embers 3 time and sat in my car for an hour and then drove home never leaving my car. It was the 4th time and again I couldn’t do it and after an hour I was just getting ready to leave when another t-girls saw me in the car and tapped on my window to see if I was going in. had she not done that and showed me that kindness I would have gone home that night also. If you are struggling with going out your first time it is nothing to be ashamed, it is a big step. Reach out to someone for help if you can and if you are going out and know someone who is having trouble with going out be supportive and offer help, they will never forget you. I still remember Lorie the girl who helped me and that was I don’t know 20 years ago and I only saw her a few times going out. She got me out and Alice helped make me feel better about going out and I owe them so much. I will be in touch with her and hope I can help her as I know once she can get that first time behind her it will become easier.

Michele and I played a couple games of pool, I lost both but I at least made it a close game. We had another girl showed up so her and Michele played some pool, they are both better than I am at pool but I still enjoy it when I play. Karaoke started at 9 and it got loud again, I think they had the volume a little louder than normal so it really was hard to talk. About 9:30 Patty and her girlfriend showed up, Patty is one of our newer members and yes, her girlfriend is supportive. It was my first time meeting her girlfriend as the couple other times she has come out I couldn’t make it. She seems really nice and it is awesome she is supportive as it is not the normal reaction. We do however have quite a few wives and girlfriends of members who are supportive which is awesome. Coming out to someone is always a hard decision as you don’t know how they will take it and once it is out you can’t go back. Some girls say you should be completely honest and always tell, I don’t believe this is a black and white issue. Yes, if you are on hormones and planning on transitioning then yes you have to tell. If that is not your life course then there are choices you and only you can make. Don’t let someone else tell you how to live your life and who you have to tell. My view and only my view are if it doesn’t affect the person they don’t need to know. People I work with don’t need to know; I don’t plan on showing up at work as Susan. I look at it this way, I don’t talk golf with friends who don’t play golf, same with Baseball, fishing, hunting or guns, yes these are some of my interests but I have friends who don’t like or do these things. Did get a selfie tonight.

Lauri showed up at 10 so we had 5 of us tonight. It was a fun night with my friends. Now I did once again stay out latter then I planned, once again it was about 11:30 when I paid my bill and went home. I am not use to being up this late but it is good as next Saturday will be another late night as next Saturday is Portland’s Red Dress Party and I am going with Julie and Trixie and I am looking forward to it as it is a fun night and a wonderful place to people watch but most importantly is I will get to see Julie again. She has been out of town since last fall and I have missed her. As Susan I have a lot of wonderful close friends But Julie and Cassandra are my 2 best friends, they probably know the most about me in total of anyone.

Thanks for reading and be sure and ready my most recent blog to see what is new in Susan’s life

May 12, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the escape.

Okay my blog is a week late but better late then never. Now before I get into my blog, I have a little side note. I try really hard to keep politics and Religion out of my blog but every once in a while, I have to speak up. I don’t care what religion you are, politics, race, gender of preference, violence is never okay. There have been attacks on people just for having a different opinion. This is a video of an 85-year-old man who is a prolife supporter being attacked and beaten by a young man just for expressing his opinion. Now again I don’t care what side of the debate you are on but attacking someone, knocking them on the ground and kicking them is wrong and there is no excuse for assaulting an 85-year-old man. I don’t have to agree with you but I will stand with you and defend your right to express your opinion. Years ago, it was members of the LGBT community that were attacked for being who they are and expressing themselves and it was wrong. If we want people to accept us and by accept us, I mean allow us to be who we are without fear of being attacked then we have to stand up and condemn violence against everyone. We can have different opinions, lobby for changes to the laws, and even speak out against each other but we can never ever use violence against one another.

Okay, back to Last Saturday’s night out. I started getting ready early as I wanted to get to the Escape early. I posted in the group I would be there but I never really know who will all show up. I got to the Escape a little after 5 and went in. now getting here this early, they are not really busy and parking is easier. I got my normal table and got out my computer and ordered dinner. Now this gives me a little time on my own as I wait for others to show up. Now Jennifer was the first to show up, she is one of our newer members and have only been going out the last few months. It was great to see her again and this gave us a chance to talk before others showed up which is always nice.

It was a little after 7 and a couple other girls showed up so once again, we had 4 of us tonight, it really is a fun night out. Now I admit it is the same thing every week but it is also different as there are always new or different people here and that makes it fun. I had a nice dinner, good times with my friends and got to listen to some good music. Now about 10 Lauri showed up, it really is wonderful the friends I have made as Susan, I really am blessed with wonderful friends. I stayed a little later tonight as the last couple weeks my Susan time has been limited to just Saturday nights so I have to make the most of it. Now I am hoping o start getting out more, Wednesday night dinners and my Sunday Starbucks time and yes even the Red Dress Party which is coming up. It was about 11:30 when I called it a night and left for home.

Thanks for reading and be sure to read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

May 11, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Going to the Escape.

It is Saturday again and yes, I get to enjoy some time as Susan tonight at the Escape, yes, my normal Saturday night. now I write a lot about going to the Escape and I am glad for those of you that read my blog and I am happy to share my life as Susan with you but the main reason for my blog is to document my life as Susan, my record for me of what I have done.

I started getting ready early as I wanted to get out as early as I could as I probably won’t get out till next Saturday, plus I was looking forward to wearing my new dress. I was ready a little before 5 and on my way. I got there early a little after 5 and went in. I did get a selfie in the car before I went in. Now tonight I went with a different lipstick, kind of a dark Purple. I am not liking to color on me, I think it is a little to dark. I got my normal table and ordered dinner, yes, my normal hamburger. They have really good food her but their hamburgers are really good. It is nice to get here a little early and have some time for myself as I have been behind on doing my blogs lately. I took the tie and wrote my blog from Wednesday night dinner. I had a nice dinner as I waited to see if others would show up.

Michelle was the first to show up, it was good to see her as I have not seen her since Diva Las Vegas. We started talking and yes most of it was about Diva Las Vegas. It is hard to believe that it has been a month since Diva Las Vegas. I also got Michelle to take a couple pictures of me in my new dress. I always love it when I have a new dress to wear, there is just something special about a pretty new dress or outfit.

Now it was a slow night here, not many people showed up, it was after 7 and a couple other girls from our group showed up so we had 4 of us here tonight. It was nice to see them also and get to talk to them. I really do enjoy my time out with friends, as when I am Susan, I am way more social. We had a great time just sitting and talking of course a couple of our girls played some pool. My Saturday nights are pretty much the same but they are really fun and relaxing and just what I need.

A little after 9 it got a little busier as karaoke started and that is usually when most people show up. Now it gets loud when karaoke starts so a little hard to talk but still fun to listen to some of the people sing

Around 10 Lauri showed up so we had 5 here tonight. It was a relaxing night out with friends as always. I stayed till a little after 11 before I paid my bill and left for home.

Thanks for reading and be sure and check out my most recent blog to see what is new.

May 4, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday and going out to the Escape

It is Saturday and that means going to the Escape tonight for a little Susan time and to see some of y friends. Yes, I pretty much go to the Escape every Saturday night. Now there is good and bad about this. It is good for the group and its members to have a regular place they now others will be, someplace they feel comfortable, someplace they don’t have to wonder if others will be there. They just know if they show up here there will almost always be another member of our group here. On the bad side there is something about going to the same place all the time but then who am I to talk as I pretty much go to the same Starbucks every week but then that does make for what some may call a repetitive blog. Any ways what ever it is or what others might think it is Saturday night and that means Escape for me. Now a couple girls, Nicole and Patty said they were planning on going so I posted I would be there between 6 & 7 with the hope of being there earlier.

I didn’t get home till almost 4:30 so it would be a rush to get ready if I wanted to be there before now when I was out shopping the beginning of the week on Monday and Tuesday, I did buy 3 new dresses and that means tonight is a new dress. I decided on the black and gold one and the main reason is it is a little shorter then the other two and I figured at the bar sitting would be a good choice. Now by shorter I mean mid-thigh instead of knee length, it is also more form fitting and as I wanted to wear my corset tonight it would be perfect. I was all ready and on my way by 5:20, I got to the Escape a little before 6 and parked and of course got a selfie before going in. There are just times with the right light my makeup looks flawless in pictures. Now just to be clear I do not touch up any of my photos as I want to see and present the real me. Now for those of you who tell me my pictures always look perfect (thanks) or I never have a bad picture I can assure you I do but this is my blog and I can pick the pictures I post and I only post the nice ones.

I got inside and got our table and ordered my normal Hamburger, yes, another repetitive part of Saturday but they really do have wonderful food here and my favorite is their Hamburger. I played on my computer as I ate waiting for others to show up. It was about 6:20 when Nicole showed up, I have known her for over 5 years as we first met at Washington Square back in February of 2014, she was in boy mode at that time. Yes I looked back in my blog, one of the reasons I love keeping a blog. She has really come a long way since then but then so have I and so many of my friends. I put my computer away as I wanted to talk with her and catch up, yes Susan loves to talk unlike my male side. Yes, we talked a lot about Diva Las Vegas, I am hoping she will go one of these years.

Patty showed up a little before 7 so there were 3 of us now. Any way I of course wanted a picture of my new dress so I asked Nicole to take a couple and she did of course this started something as I was soon taking pictures of Nicole and then Patty. Again, one of the differences between my male and female sides are pictures, Susan love them and my male side avoids them. I bet I don’t have more than 2 or 3 pictures of my male self in the last 15 years. Now I liked the way the pictures turned out as you can kind of see some curves and I think I look a little more relaxed in these pictures. I still need a lot of work on my full body pictures though. Now I don’t know how girls keep their dresses down as every time I sat down this dress rode up as do all my short dresses. I saw a couple other girls with dresses that were shorter then mine and they didn’t have the problem when they say down. Must be something about the hips.

Now Nicole and I got talking about when she was here in November, yes, I looked back in my blog to find it. That night we had a couple girls that came over and talked to us and yes, they had been drinking. We were trying to remember their names and it turns out they were Melinda and Nicole. Nicole was the one who drug us out on the dance floor. Any way at the time the girl named Nicole told us she came here all the time and as I come here pretty much every Saturday night, I had never seen her here before or since. Well normally this would not have made it into my blog and I wouldn’t have looked back to find her name but as it turns out she showed up tonight about 10:15 to sing karaoke. If only my friend Nicole had stayed longer, don’t worry there was no dancing and I didn’t even get a chance to talk with her but I just find it funny that we were talking about her and then she showed up.

Another girl from our group showed up and its was good to see her, we talked about Diva Las Vegas, she has gone with us before a few times but the last two years her schedule just didn’t work out. I hope she will go next year again. Nicole left about 9:30 as it was loud now with Karaoke, it was really good to see her again and she is hoping to be back in a couple weeks for a Wednesday night dinner.

Lauri showed up a little before 10 so she just missed Nicole. It is funny as we have our early night girls and our late-night girls and our all-night girls. When I first started going out, I never went out early, I wanted to make sure it was dark out and my neighbors were inside. Depending on the time of year it was any where from 8pm to 10pm before I went out and we almost always closed down the bar (Embers) we were at which means it was usually between 2am & 2:30am when we left and on a few occasions I went and got something to eat with a few of the girls before going home. Now I like to get there between 5 and 6 and by 10 I am ready to call it a night. I like to think it is being responsible and not the fact I am getting older but in reality, it is because I have become so comfortable as Susan, I am able to go out earlier and not care if my neighbors are out. I use to look out all the windows, get in my car and open the garage and look again, then carefully pull out and make sure no one was out, if I saw someone I would back, back into my garage and close the door and wait. There were time I stood looking out my window for 30 minutes or more waiting for the coast to be clear. Now I don’t even look I just get in the car and open the garage door and go, some of the time I open the garage door before I get in the car. It really is a wonderful feeling.

Now Lauri and one of our other girls played some pool and Patty and I sat and listened to people sing Karaoke and it was fun. It was almost 11 when I went up and paid my bill and called it a night. It was a fun night out. I plan on getting out to Starbucks Sunday for a few hours and also hope to make Wednesday night dinner this week.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what Susan is up to now.

April 14, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday and home from Las Vegas

It is Saturday and I am home from my Diva Las Vegas vacation although I still have a few more days of vacation. I don’t go back to work till Wednesday which is nice but I do have things I have to do Monday evening so I will have to remove my nails on Monday afternoon. Now I been wondering what people would think or say if they saw me as my male self with these nails. Well I decided to test it today. Now as I slept in today after getting home so late, I didn’t get out of bed till almost 10am. I got all cleaned up and made sure all traces of makeup were gone and then got dressed in my male clothes. It was different as I have been Susan for 11 days straight. Now it was time to see what happens. I drove to Starbuck’s the first one I ever went to as Susan but this time as my male self. It is about 25 minutes from where I live, I got there just about noon and with my computer in hand I went in. now I have only been in Starbucks a few times when I have not been Susan so it is a little different.

I stood in line and waited my turn. When I got to the counter, I ordered a hot chocolate and paid the young girl with cash at which point she saw my nails. She casually replied back, I love your nails, I so like the bright colors like red, I wish I could have nails like that. I thanked her and told her I loved the reds also and that was it. I got my drink and sat down at a table between a couple woman and started writing my blog from Friday’s trip home. I was here a couple hours and as far as I could tell no one even noticed my nails or at least no one said anything and I didn’t really notice anyone looking at me. I was only here for a couple hours before heading home to get ready to go to the Escape tonight.

I started getting ready a little after 3 with the hopes of being to the Escape around 5 as I wanted a little more time out as my vacation is quickly coming to an end. Now I was doing my makeup and yes, I have a couple brushes and even a beauty blender sponge but I always seem to just use my fingers as I think it works better. But what I found on vacation is with my long nails it is hard to do the foundation especially around my eyes. Now in Las Vegas I was using some old cosmetic triangle sponges but today I decided to try the beauty blender sponge again. The last time I used it I put foundation on my face and used the sponge to spread it and blend it and really couldn’t see a difference but today I did like they show in the video and put just a little foundation on the back of my hand and dabbed the sponge in it and started tapping around my face. Turns out it really does make a difference how you use it. I used way less foundation and I think my face looked better. I think I will use it the next few times and see if I can get the same results.

Now with my makeup done I picked out my black and red dress, I really like this dress but it is a heavier dress so better for winter. It is a little clingy so it is tight around the waist and just looks better when I wear my corset. Now I didn’t take my corsets to Las Vegas so I was looking forward to wearing it tonight. I put it on and started tightening the laces. Now this takes some work to reach behind you and tighten them but have gotten pretty good at it well I was. I always did this before I put my nails on but it proved a lot more challenging with my long nails. You see I can’t feel the laces with my fingers to find them and is it got tighter it was harder to garb with my nails. I didn’t want to break a nail so it took a lot more time and effort to get them all tightened. Now it was time to tie it in the back and again it is really hard to tie a bow behind your back with long nails, it took several tries before I got some what of a bow, had to be really careful as I did not want to create a knot behind my back. Normally I can put the corset on in 5 to 10 minutes but I bet a spent close to 30 minutes tonight trying to get it on right. Now this was my first time with my corset with my nails so it may get easier over time if I was able to keep my nails longer. It was a little after 5 when I was ready to go, so much for being at the Escape by 5

Now I had posted in our group I would be there between 6 & 7 in hopes others would show up but only Kris had posted she might be there between 7 & 8 so it was possible I could be the only one. I got there about 5:30 and went in, I was able to park right in front which is always nice and one of the reasons I like to get here early. I got our usual table and got out my computer and then went up and ordered dinner, my usual hamburger and fries. My dinner came and just as I was finishing it Keren showed up, what a nice surprise. Like many of our girls she does not like it when it gets loud so when she does come it is usually early as she leaves once karaoke starts and it get loud.

We had a chance to talk of course some of it was about Diva Las Vegas and how I enjoyed my trip. We also talked about the group and some of our friends. It wasn’t long and Laura M showed up. It was great to see her also. She went to Diva Las Vegas last year but was not able to go this year. Now Laura just came out at work and is going full time now. She posted a video on her Facebook page when she told all her co-workers about her change and so far, it is going really well. I took a lot of courage to face them all at one time but I really think it was the best way to do it as it shows them all this is who she is and she is not ashamed of it, still a lot of courage. She also linked her two Facebook pages so everyone knows now.

We took a little time and got some pictures. It was so wonderful to see them both tonight. While we were taking pictures Jan and Lynn showed up so of course I had to get a picture with them also, everyone said I could use the pictures in my blog whish is nice. Next to Cassandra, Jan & Lynn I have known the longest. Not sure when I met them without going back through my blog but I know it was before 2010 that I met them.

Back in 2010 when the group was still going to Embers Jan and I did a T-girl Pageant they had. Neither of us won but it was a lot of fun. One of the Drag Queens did my makeup that night and I wore a dark wig. I look a lot different in the picture from that night

Well a little later Kris showed up so we had 6 of us here tonight. Now they were doing a fund raiser here tonight for the Escape Softball team so I bought some raffle tickets. Karaoke started and as usual it got loud and became hard to talk. It wasn’t long after and Keren left. I really think this is why I like the Wednesday night dinners better as it is a nice chance to just talk but they are shorter nights out.

About 10 Lauri showed up so total we had 7 tonight. Now they were doing the drawing at midnight so I ended up staying for that as I am still on vacation. Actually, Cassandra and I had talked about maybe staying in Las Vegas till Sunday so as far as everyone knows I don’t get home till then. Now of course I didn’t win the raffle which I really didn’t think I would but it was a fun night. It was about 12:20am when I left for home.

Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what I am doing now.

April 7, 2019 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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