Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Saturday and a full day of Susan, going to the gun range to shoot.

It is Saturday and today is our groups day at the gun range. Now I know this is not the typical transgender thing to do but our group really does try to do mainstream things and everyday type things ad yes there are women out there that like and shoot guns just like in our group. This is also not a political thing it is just some of our members have guns and like to shoot and what better way to do that then as our female selves. Jan and Lynn have hosted this for several years and have done an awesome job and I am excited as this is the first year I have been able to make it. This does mean a long day for Susan though as I will have to leave home at 8:30 am to get there by 9:30 and we will probably be there till 4 and no we will not be shooting all the time as we will have a BBQ and some socializing also.

I started getting ready at 7:30 and was ready about 8:40 so just a little behind when I wanted to leave. I was in my car and yes, I needed gas so I stopped to get gas and also ran into Albertsons to pick up some chips and cookies and pop for today. Jan and Lynn are providing hamburgers and I wanted to bring something and I forgot to pick it up last night. Now I do go to the Nail salon by my house and also Starbuck but not Albertson and the reason is I go to Albertsons as my male self but it was early and I normally go in here at night. It was a quick trio in and out as I was worried I would see someone I know, can’t keep my head down like I can at Starbucks. I didn’t see anyone I knew and that was good and soon I was on my way but behind schedule.

I got to the range about 9:45 and Jan and Lynn were there setting up. Now the weather today was a mix of everything but snow, we had sun where it was hot out, clouds where it was cold, light rain, heavy rain and even a little hail. Now todays event was from 9:30 till 4 or so and I was wondering how it could go so long although I did come prepared. I brought 2 rifles and 2 handguns including my new one and 200 rounds for each but even that would not last 6 plus hours. Well we got set up and did a little shooting and of course talking and it was fun, by the way my new gun works well. It was a little before noon and Wilma and her wife and daughter showed up so we had 6 of us here today, I was hoping more but it is a drive. It was great to see Wilma again as it has been a couple years. Well it was about 12:30 when we broke for lunch and Jan got out the grill and cooked up some awesome hamburgers, I guess I will have to find something else for dinner tonight at the Escape. We had a great lunch and got a chance to talk and catch up. It was really fun. It really was more about being with friends then the guns and shooting just like when I go to the bars it is about the people I am with that makes it special.

After lunch Jan broke out her shot guns and we did a little clay shooting, this is little discs that get shot out and you try and shoot them with shotguns, kind of like bird hunting. Jan, Lynn and Wilma did better than I as they hit some of them. I missed everyone I shot at but it was my first tine shooting this way. Little harder shooting moving targets. It was a lot of fun though. It was amazing how fast the day went and soon it was after 3:30 and it got dark and looked like it was going to really rain so I got my stuff loaded in the car and said my goodbyes and thanked Jan and Lynn for setting this up as it really was fun. Here I brought 4 guns and all that ammunition and only shot 2 of my guns and maybe 100 shots but as I said it really was about being there with my friends. On the way home, I realized I didn’t take a picture and regret it as I don’t have a picture of me shooting a gun, well there is always next year.

It was 4:45 when I got home and quickly unloaded my car and touched up my makeup and of course put on heels and I was on my way to the Escape as I wanted to get there early and catch up on my blog from Wednesday night dinner. It was about 5:30 when I got there and ordered some food, breakfast as I was not that hungry but wanted to order something. I ate and wrote my blog from Wednesday as I wanted for others to show up. Rebecca from up by Seattle was the first as she arrived at 7, she had the evening off and drove down just to go out with our group. She usually comes down for Wednesday night dinners but her schedule is a little mixed up right now. It was nice to talk with her as we waited for more to show up.

Jan & Lynn were next to arrive, Lynn had her target with her from the shooting range. Her target was a woman being attacked by a Zombie and she almost blew the head off the Zombie and not one shot hot the woman and that was from about 40 feet away, great shooting Lynn. Everyone was coming over to see it and even a couple people took pictures of it. Robyn also showed up so it looked like we might have a good group tonight. It was not real busy but it was still early. Usually 9:30 when Karaoke starts is when it starts getting busy. A little while later Laura M. and her girlfriend showed up as did Narcist and Lauri, even one of our girls stopped by briefly in male mode. It was a good night out for all but a long day. I left home this morning at 8:30am and except for about a 15-minute stop to unload my car and put on heels I was gone all day and evening. It was almost 11 when I called it a day. My makeup held up good all I needed was a little powder throughout the day to keep the shine away. The big win was my lipstick which looked just as good when I got home as it did when I left and that included eating a couple hamburgers at the range (sorry Julie I broke down and had 2 as they were so good) and also eating at the Escape. This is really good lipstick that stays put. It will take baby oil to get it off. I really recommend it although it is a matte color and it is a little heavier then normal lipstick but other then that it is wonderful. This is the red I was wearing and it is a beautiful color. I also have a few other more neutral colors for when I go out in the day.

It was almost 11:30 when I got home, it was a wonderful day out as Susan. Thanks for reading and be sure and see what is new in my life on my most recent blog.

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June 10, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday at the Escape

It is Saturday and tonight is the Rose Festival Starlight parade so I am not sure how many will be out at the Escape and the downtown area will be packed. But I am still going out. Now I do have to share a funny story, as you all know I have had acrylic nails now for over a year and probably for the last 6 months I have had a clear pink that in certain light does look pinkish. Well really no one has really said anything about them accept for the occasional “you nails look really nice” well yesterday I went and got my hair cut not as Susan as this is a male thing I do as I keep my hair short and it really needed to be done. Well the lady who cuts my hair is really nice and after my hair cut as I was paying her she noticed my nails. Well instead of your nails look nice what she said was wow I really love that color. Now I know there is a slight color to them but this is the first time someone has mentioned the color. I thanked her and then she followed with “you know what would look good you can fade the end into a white, not as much as French tip but a faded one, (name of other lady working there) has the same thing and it looks beautiful although hers are a lot longer”. Now this really caught me off guard as I really would like to do that but as I have seen this nail look and it is pretty, here is a picture of what it looks like but I just smiled and said this was enough for now. Now I must have said it a little fast as she apologized and said she hope she hadn’t offended me and I assured her she had not and it was fine. I guess I was just not prepared for someone to recommend how I could do my nails, next time I will handle it better. Now I am looking forward to my next haircut.

Anyway, back to Saturday and it was a busy day as I had things I had to do so it was after 5 when I got home and started getting ready so I will not be there by my usual 5:30. I took my time getting ready even though I knew I was running late and even still I was ready by a little after 6 and on my way. I got to the Escape at 6:30 and as I was waiting for traffic I noticed the parking lot was full so I debated about just going and finding a parking spot on the street but a saw someone come out and get in a car so I was going to luck out. Now there was a lot of traffic and by the time a break came and I could pull into the parking lot 3 cars had left and one more was backing out. I got here at the perfect time and got to park right in front of the door. I went in and all the tables were empty with just a few people at the bar. I sat down at our table and got my computer out and ordered dinner.

Now I had only been here a few minutes and Robyn showed up and right after her was Michelle. I talked with Robyn for a little bit and she showed me her heels she had just bought, very cute and high. My dinner came so I ate and Robyn and Michelle ordered the same thing, yes it was a hamburger so if I do go Sunday I will have to find something else.

Jan, Lynn, Kearren, Kate and one other girl showed up so we had 8 of us here and it was only a little after 7, this was great. Jan, Lynn and I talked about next Saturday as we are going to a gun range, Jan and Lynn are certified instructors and rent a gun range for the day and invite our members to go and shoot some guns and also give them some training if needed. They have done this for the last 5 years I think but this is the first year I am able to go so I am really looking forward to it. Now I know the bun issue is a hot topic right now but this is not meant to be a political issue it is just some girls getting together for some target practice and a picnic and some girl time with friends. If you like guns you can go if you don’t like them you don’t have to go it is just another group activity.

I got to talk with Kearren and Kate a little. Now Wednesday night at Dinner Kate was showing me some of her pictures from Diva Las Vegas and one has me in the background. I kind of think I photo bombed her on this although she is off to one side so maybe she was trying to get both of us in it but it was just such a cute picture I asked her if I could post it on my blog and she said yes. I always like to ask if I can post a picture if others are in it as I think it is the right thing to do.

Now there was a smaller crowd here tonight and a lot of them were people I hadn’t seen her before or just don’t remember but it was still fun and everyone was great as always. The Escape really is a great place to go and very excepting of everyone. Son it w as 9 and Karaoke started. It is hard to talk once the singing starts but still fun to listen to and sing along with the songs you know. Now again there were a lot of songs I didn’t know would even say I had never heard before. Is that a sign I am getting old?

Lauri showed up at her usual 9:45, I kid her a lot about being our late-night girl but I remember when I never went out till it was dark. I don’t think that is her reason though as I just think she is busy and doesn’t get a chance to get out earlier. I got to talk with her a little also so we had a total of 9 girls out tonight. It was a little after 11 when I called it a night and paid my bill. It is always sad to see the evening come to an end. I am hoping to get to go out Sunday late afternoon and evening for a few hours as I really look forward to my Starbuck’s time and I am now 2 blogs behind, Wednesday night dinner at Hobo’s and now Saturday night. The funny thing is I like going out as Susan to write my blogs but if I always do this I never get caught up as Sunday I will go out and do my blogs for the previous times but then I will need to find time to write my blog about Sunday at Starbucks.

I also realize a lot of my blogs may be repetitive in nature as I do and go the same places and I am glad so many people read them which I never thought people would but I really use this to document my time as Susan, my life as Susan, where I go, what I do and who is there, kind of my personal diary which I am happy to share. This is my 1075th blog post which means I have been out as Susan at least that many times. So hard to believe as 10 years ago I was happy if I could get out a couple times a year. I really do owe a lot to my friends that have helped me over the years.

Thanks for reading and being part of my life and be sure to keep up with Susan on my most recent blog.

June 4, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday at the Escape on Memorial Day Weekend

It is Saturday of Memorial Day weekend so I am not sure how many girls will be out but before I get into my blog I want to recognize the sacrifice so many American men and woman have made for our freedom and our way of life. We have and live in the greats country in the world and we owe it all to our brave service men and woman who dedicated their lives to protect us and some gave up everything for us. I want to thank you all and let you know how much we appreciate what you gave and let you know you are not forgotten.

Now I started getting ready early for two reasons, first I wanted to take my time and enjoy every moment of becoming Susan and second, I wanted to get there early so I could write my blog from Wednesday as I am once again behind in my blogging. Seems I just can’t find the time the next day to update things. Now it was about 4:45 when I was all done and ready to dress but I decided I would ware my corset tonight which also means picking out the right dress. I got the corset on and it really does give me a nice shape as I have hips and a waist which is several inches narrower, I will have to measure it sometime as I am curious. I got the corset on and put the dress I chose on and it just didn’t look right so off it came and back to the closet. It was the third dress I tried that I went with, a black and white one that goes down to mid-calf but also has a slit on the left that goes up to mid-thigh oh and also tight and clingy so the curves show. Being a girl is so much fun.

I got to the Escape just before 5:30 and went in. They were not that busy so I sat down and got my computer out and ordered dinner. I looked around and Kearren was also there early so she came over and joined me. It has been a while since I have seen her out, at least before Diva Las Vegas which was 6 weeks ago, wow time is flying. Well I put my computer away as it is always more fun to talk with someone then play on my computer, guess I will do my blog Sunday. It is sad as she will be moving too Idaho in a few weeks and I will miss her. We talked a while about why we do this and we both agreed there really is no right answer other then we enjoy it and it relaxes us. I guess for me Susan is part of who I am and when I can be her feel complete and that is a real enjoyable and relaxing feeling compared to hiding her away.

We got on the topic of Facebook and friends and peoples profiles. I will share my thoughts and remember these are just my thoughts for me. I do get a lot of friends request and I am selective of who I accept. Now it is not because I don’t want to be friends with people I just try to limit it to people I feel I will meet at some point or we have a lot of friends in common. I am not interested in having just numbers. Again, this is me, I see people with 5,000 friends and I have to ask myself how can you keep up with that many, at 100 a day it would take you 50 days to look at each of them. We also talked about profiles with no picture or information, again I don’t friend blank profiles although I have made the rare exception as sometimes people have valid reasons. I do have a few friends that I have met or have exchanged pictures with that just can’t put public info out but I do want to make sure people are real. Any way Kearren is trying to get a good picture of herself to post so I gave her my tips and again this is what works for me. I find I get my best pictures when the camera is above me and at a slight angle. So, I am going to post pictures taken different ways to show the difference. It is amazing the difference that different angles make.

Well Kate was the next to show up so the 3 of us sat and talked for a while. Then Kate and Kearren went to play pool so I thought about getting my computer out but then Bobbie showed up followed by Jan & Lynn. Now a funny story as a group of women showed up about 8 and they were all waring Tutu’s and looked so cute. Well I had to tell them that and soon I was talking to a couple of them. It turns out one of their friends had been working on the East coast the last 2 months and was back in town for the weekend and had asked 1 of them to pick her up at the airport. Well this friend had this great idea and got several of her friends to show up at the airport in tutu’s and hold up signs as they waited for her to get off the plane, signs like welcome back from rehab, and so on. It was so funny. Any way I just thought I would share this so remember this the next time you ask a friend to pick you up at the airport or if you are going to pick someone up.
kellybea also showed up tonight with her wife, she is one of our newer members and has gone out a couple times in Salem but she drove up here tonight. It was really nice to meet her and her and her wife seem really nice. I got to talk with them a little which was nice and I hope they cam get out more with our group. I really do like when I meat new people. It was about 9:30 and Lauri showed up so we had a good size group tonight, 10 in all.

It was also getting crowded now as people were coming in for karaoke and that is always fun although you really can’t talk anymore as it gets to loud. Now a lot of the songs sung tonight I have never herd or at least don’t remember so when the ones I know were sung I would sing a long quietly of course. Now I did get several compliments on my dress as it really did look good. I wish I had gotten a picture of me standing so I would be able to show off the dress but I didn’t think of that. Any way of course I would thank them and got into conversations with them also which really makes a fun night. Alice would have been so proud of me as I probably talked with at least 6 women there I didn’t know and had never met so much different from 10/15 years ago when I would go out and just sit and keep to myself and not make eye contact with people. It really is fun to interact with people.

This brings me back to another thing Kearren and I talked about, passing in public which is a question I get asked a lot. Both do I pass and for those who ask me this, thanks for the compliment, and also, I will get asked by others if they pass as they don’t want to go out unless they

pass. No, I do not pass in the way people ask or think. Yes, there are times, right lighting, distance, alcohol intake and so on when I do but I do not even come close to passing 100% and that is okay. For me passing means something totally different. If I can go out and not be bothered, not be made fun of, be treated as a female then I have passed. Passing to me is being accepted for who I am. Tonight here I passed 100% as always. I am always accepted here and treated as any other woman her and that is a great feeling. Now what will help you is being confident and by this, I mean acting like this is the most natural thing for you, like you are not doing anything wrong, the other big thing is smile and be polite, this goes a long way. Again, this is just my thoughts and views and that and $5 will get you a drink at Starbucks. Now the 3 pictures above were all taken right in a row with me sitting in the same position. The only thing that changes was the height and angle of my phone and I did try to keep the same facial expression.

It was a good night out and I ended up staying out later then I planned as it was almost 11:30 when I paid my bill and called it a night and I think I was actually the first to leave. Wow the girls stayed out late tonight. Now I did go back through some old pictures and found one of me in the dress I wore tonight so this will give you an idea of how I looked but tonight I had curves. It really was a wonderful night. I do plan on going to Starbucks on Sunday and as I have Monday off I will be out in the morning and early afternoon. Not sure what I will do, maybe get together with some friends for shopping or lunch. I really do lov e this part of my life.

Thanks for reading and be sure and see what’s new with Susan on my most recent blog.

May 28, 2018 Posted by | Manicure & pedicure, nail salon, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday before Diva Las Vegas, out at the Escape.

It is the Saturday before Diva Las Vegas and I am going to the Escape tonight to spend some time with my friends. I won’t be out here in Portland with them for a couple weeks. I started getting ready early as I wanted to stop at ULTA and see if they had some self-tanning lotion. Yes, I want a little more of a tan before I go to Las Vegas, something my male side could care less about. Any way I was ready by 4:45 and on my way. I got to ULTA and went in and looked around and found what I wanted. The lady at the checkout complimented me on my nails. Now it has been over 3 weeks since I got my nails done. They really do look good but they are getting pretty long at lest for my male side. I left ULTA and went to the escape and got there about 5:30 and went in and ordered dinner.

It wasn’t long and Kate and Cassandra showed up. It was great to see them again. WE sat around and talked mostly about Diva Las Vegas as we are all going. Kate will get there on Sunday and Cassandra, Julie and I will get there on Saturday. Cassandra, Peggy and I will leave early Friday morning and drive to Palm Springs to drop Peggy off and pick up Julie. It is going to be so much fun. Of course, I will have my long pretty nails. I will get my nails done on Thursday and then it will be 12 days of living as Susan. I was talking about it and Kate is also thinking of getting her nails done, it would be her first time and I know she will enjoy it. I told her when I was going and she might meet me and get her nails done with me. It really would be fun to go to the nail salon with someone. Now there were a couple of ladies and a man with them that came over and talked with us for a while before they left. I really do like meeting and talking with new people.

Jan and Lynn also showed up tonight and it was good to see them also and Michele also was there. Michele is also going to Diva Las Vegas although she will arrive on Monday and only be there till Friday. We have several girls going for their first time, Kate, Laura M. and Michele. I know they will have a fun time. Now I am not sure how many we have going from our group but I do know Melissa and her wife, Laura M, Kate, Brenda, Veronica, Michele, Keri, and of course Julie, Cassandra and myself so we will have at least 11 from Portland in Las Vegas. It really is fun when we have a big group from Portland going.

Now it got busy as it always does as Karaoke started. It was fun but it got loud and was hard to talk. Lorie showed up a little before 10 as she is our late-night girl so we had a good turnout tonight. It was nice to talk with everyone and just enjoy a fun night out with friends. As Susan I am way more social then my male self. It was a good night out. Next will be Thursday when I start my stretch of Susan. Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up with what is new in my life on my most recent blog.

April 8, 2018 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape

Saturday and I get to go out again. But first I want to talk about Facebook and tolerance. Social media and especially Facebook has made it so easy to attack others who are different, have different views, beliefs and life styles and it has become accepted and I find this troubling. I have friends of all kinds and it seems that we are drawing lines between each other, us against them. Just my view point but if you want others to accept you than you need to accept them and this includes their views. I am not saying you have to agree with them but you need to accept their right to their views. I am transgender, I like to express pat of my life as female. I don’t believe or even expect everyone to like how I live my life but I do expect them to recognized my right to my life. I will never judge or attack someone who believes different than I do and I will never unfriend someone who is different or has a different view. What I am asking is for all you to do the same, please think before you post something and try to think how you would feel if someone said or posted something like that about you. Let’s see if we can start bringing people together instead of driving them apart.

I started getting ready earl so I could have more time as Susan. I got to the Escape at 5:30 and found a parking spot right in front. Now this early they were not that busy but that would change. I got our usual table and ordered dinner, got out my computer and waited to see who else would show up. Cassandra was the first to show up right before 6. It was good to see her and we got talking. Of course, the main topic is Diva Las Vegas which starts in two weeks. We will leave on the 13th and drive to Palm Springs to pick up Julie and be in Las Vegas on April 14. I will get my nails done on the 12th and I will have beautiful long acrylic nails for 12 days, I look forward to this every year. I really do wish I could have long pretty nails all the time. I do get asked all the time when I am going to transition and the answer is I am not but if I could have a way to have long pretty red nails all the time I would in a second. It really is a shame men can’t take have pretty nails. It is funny and a little unfair that woman have so many options, long hair or short, dresses or pants, heels of flats, makeup or no makeup, long nails or short. When it comes to fashion and looks women have so many more choices.

Kate showed up next and it was good to see her also. The 3 of us kept talking, it is really enjoyable to just sit and talk, at least Susan thinks so. It is probably the biggest difference between my male self and Susan. As my male self I can do conversations but it is not something I go out of my way to do or find really fun. It also helps I have such wonderful friends. That is another thing I am really looking forward to about Diva Las Vegas and also the cruise as I will get to spend almost two weeks with them. I really have come a long way as Susan, as my female self and excepting this side of me as who I am and it really is because of the wonderful people I have met and are now some of my closest friends.

Rachel also showed up for a little while, she doesn’t get out often so it is always nice when she does. Page also showed up as did Kris and her boyfriend so we had 6 of us here tonight. It started to get busy about 8 which is always nice as it is fun to people watch. Karaoke started around 9 and it always gets busy then and loud. It makes it hard to talk once it gets this loud but still a fun time. I think that’s one of the reasons I like to get here early. Lori showed up a little after 9 which is actually early for her. I stayed a little longer so I could talk with Lori for a while which was hard with Karaoke going on. It was almost 10 when I left.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new with Susan on her on my most recent blog.

April 1, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night with my friends.

Once again it is Saturday night and I am going to the Escape to spend times with my friends. I always look forward to the time I spend with my friends and I am really looking forward to Diva Las Vegas which is weeks away. I will get 12 days living full time as Susan and of course I will be able to get long pretty acrylic nails for the trip. I started getting ready early as my Susan time for the next couple weeks will be limited as I get ready for the trip.

I got to the Escape about 5:30 and I got lucky and found a parking spot, the last one. I got our usual table inside and kearren was already there, it was good to see her again as it has been a while since she has been out with our group. It was good to get a chance to talk with her as we waited for others to show up. Of course, I ordered dinner and the food was good as always. Kate showed up next and the 3 of us talked till Kearren left, she was going to a dance with some of the ladies from the bar. Now of course I had to get a few pictures with Kate, well actually she thought of the pictures. I remember years ago when I was always getting pictures, I must have a couple thousand pictures of Susan on my computer. Now I don’t think about getting pictures and sometimes I regret it so I was happy Kate thought of it. Now it is funny as people always tell me I never take a bad picture, truth is I only post the good ones but tonight I really liked the way my makeup turned.

Cassandra showed up next and we talked a little about Diva Las Vegas and our Mexican cruise. I am really looking forward to both. Diva Las Vegas because it is so close as I said 3 weeks away and there is still time to sign up if you are thinking of going. The Mexican cruise as I have never been on a cruise before but also because I am planning of doing the whole cruise as Susan including flying down and back as Susan plus I will be able to get my nails a little longer for that. For Diva Las Vegas I have to keep them a little shorter so I can hold a golf club. There will be some first on the cruise, not only flying but I will be traveling to another country as Susan.

Michelle also showed up tonight and I can’t remember the last time I saw her out, she is also thinking or going to Diva Las Vegas. She asked if there was still time to sign up. I am hoping she goes. I think we have at least 10 going this year to Diva Las Vegas from our group. Jan and Lynn also showed up along with one other girl so we had a good crowd here tonight.

Now there were a couple ladies here, they were sisters and they came over and started talking with us. They were really nice and I think they wanted to get to know us, not sure if they have ever met a T-girl before. It was fun to talk with them and of course I had to get pictures with them. Now I talked a little with both of them but and it was fun meeting them and getting to know them a little. It is funny as Susan I really love meeting new people, in my male life I am way shyer and tend to stay more to myself so I guess there are differences between Susan and my male side. Now I didn’t get or remember both their names but one was named Natalie and this is a picture of me with her. Karaoke had started so it was loud and was hard to hear.

Now about 10 Kearren came back wit the group that went to the dance and Lorie also showed up so we had 8 of us here tonight. Now there were a couple ladies at the table next to me. They were going outside and asked if I would watch their drinks for them, I said I would. Now when they came back in I got talking to them and they were really nice also. Their names were Nicole and Rachel. I wish I had thought to get pictures with them also. I met some really nice people here tonight and that made the night so much more fun. It was almost 11:30 when I called it a night.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

March 26, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday night at the Escape, Saint Patrick’s Day

It is Saturday and our group is once again going to Salem to join the girls down there. I have been there a few times and it is a nice place just such a far drive as it takes me over an hour to get there. Now I was planning on going as I wanted to see some of the girls down there again but as always things come up. I had things to do earlier in the day and they took longer to get done then I planned. It was almost 5 before I started getting ready so it would be a rush. Now I have been getting to the Escape between 5:30 and 6 so going to Salem I would still be there by 7 but not tonight. It was after 6 when I was ready to leave and I was still thinking of going but as I pulled out of the garage I saw my fuel light on as I forgot to fill up so I stopped at Costco to get gas and of course had to wait in line. I filled up and of course I noticed everyone getting gas had on green, that’s right it is Saint Patrick’s Day. Anyway, by now it was almost 6:30 and it would still be an hour to get to Salem and then there was the drive home after people celebrated. I decided to go to the Escape instead and see who showed up there. I got there at 6:45 and went in after a quick selfie in the car.

Now they were not busy so I got our normal table hoping we would have a big group. I then went to the bar to order food, Lindsey was working tonight, she only works when they need extra help so it was great to see her again, really all the girls working here are wonderful. I got back to my table and no more then got my computer out and Kate showed up so I put it away. It was great to see her as I was wondering if I would be the only one tonight. Well we got talking and of course the most important topic came up, nails. Kate actually likes my nails how I have been doing them the last several months, so I explained how I have them done and really it is no different than any other woman other then the acrylic is a lot thinner layer. Kate has had a pedicure before but never had acrylic nails and as I have said I think everyone should try it at least once. I explained about the process and soon I had my computer back out showing her a few videos. I love watching online as I have learned a lot this way. One I really like for learning makeup techniques is Julia Graf, she does an amazing job breaking down different looks. The other if you want to learn about acrylic nails is by Suzie and she shows you the different styles, looks and how to do. You really can learn most anything watching videos on YouTube.

Any way we talked about so many things tonight and of course why we do this and again there really is no easy simple reason other then we enjoy it. The same as anyone else who likes to dress up sometimes we just do it as the opposite gender. By about 7:30 it started to get busy and I mean busy, it was a packed house tonight. Seems everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick’s Day and wants to celebrate. There were a lot of new faces here tonight also. Now of course I had to get a picture with Kate tonight. It still amazes me how often and how many pictures I have of Susan, I can’t remember the last time I took a picture of my male self. I probably have a couple thousand Susan pictures on my computer and maybe 10 of my male self.

Any way I really started my blog all those years ago just as a way for me to document and remember my adventures as Susan, the early ones are pretty simple, pretty much where I went and that was it. Here are a couple early blogs from 2006, including a quick stop at Hooters. I never really thought anyone would find much less want to read about my time as Susan. As I saw people were not only reading it but following it I started to write more and in more detail. It really has been a fun thing to do over the years. Again, I would recommend everyone write down at least the important things in your life so you can remember them and maybe share them. A blog is a great way as you can set it public or private or even have it public but keep some private, opps a little off topic again.

By 8:30 it was packed and standing room only and as it was only Kate and I when a few people asked if they could have the other end of our table we said yes, no sense us taking up a table for 8 when it was just the two of us. Karaoke started about 9:30 and that is when it usually gets loud but with so many people here tonight just talking around you it was loud already. It is amazing how fast the night was going just sitting there talking, this really is the feminine side of me as in my male side I am not really a talker, I don’t sit around and just talk but Susan loves to sit and talk.

Lorie showed up a little before 10, she is our late-night girl. She doesn’t get out till 9:30 or 10 and I assume usually closes the bar. I remember those days for me, I wouldn’t leave the house till it was dark so my neighbors wouldn’t see me, even in the winter when it got dark early I still didn’t go out much before 7 for fear one of my neighbors might look out the window and of course we would stay till the place we went closed. Now I don’t even look outside any more or care what time it is. I know one of my neighbors knows about Susan, she found out back in 2012 and she has had no problem with it, as a matter of fact I ran into her at Starbucks the other day, first time she has seen me up close and talked with me. I don’t know if she has told anyone, I hope not as I really do want to keep this side of me private but I am also not afraid of it anymore and I kind of think most of my neighbors know. As much as I go out and I have seen many of my neighbors outside as I pull out of the garage or drive down the street they at the very least have to wonder. It does make it a lot easier when you lose that fear but as I said I still don’t want people telling others about me but I am not going to stop being me.

Kate, Lorie and I talked some more but it was getting late and I do have to be up early so it was about 10:30 When I went up to pay my bill which was no easy thing to do as there was a huge line, it took me about 15 minutes standing in line. It really was a fun night and a lot of new faces here tonight. It was a small group but so much fun to socialize. It is not about where we go or what we do but the friends you are with. It is funny as I have been going to Bars with friends at least once a week for 10 years now and yet I don’t drink. Now early on I would occasionally order a glass of wine and slowly sip on it all night as I felt I had to but I quickly figured out I needed to be me, be Susan and that means I didn’t need to drink either. I really have met some wonderful people over the years and am lucky to have them as friends.

Thanks for reading and be sure to see what’s new in Susan’s life on my most recent blog.

March 19, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Saturday night at the Escape

It is Saturday and my vacation is coming to an end, well not a true vacation as I had time I needed to use and things I needed to do around home but it did allow me some Susan time. Of course, I am going out tonight, I was home a little before 4 and started getting ready. Cassandra was hoping to be there by 6 and that was my goal although I was hopping earlier. It still amazes me that we use to not even go out till 9 or later and close places down and now we go early so we can get home at a decent hour. Part or it I am sure is age which creeps up on everyone. But more than that I think it is the fact we are more willing to go out early. I was ready a little before 5 and took a couple quick pictures before I left as I tend to forget once I am out.

Yes, tonight I was wearing my little, tight black dress and of course my corset under it. Now I have been wearing the corset a lot more probably 80% of the time I go out and I have found it has formed more to my body. The first time I put it on it took me over 20 minutes to get it on and laced up of course there was a learning curve to this but it was also harder to lace up. I can now get it tighter and it laces a lot easier. I think it only takes about 5 minutes now and yes, it is tighter then the first times I wore it but it does give me a nice shape as it pulls my waist in and comes down over the hips which actually makes my hips look bigger. It really is quite comfortable accept for getting in and out of the car or bending over to pick something up. Here is a picture of the corset I bought. It really is cute and the one I got is actually designed to be wore on the outside of your clothes. I just don’t think that would work for me, but it also works under my clothes just a little thick and during the Summer I am sure it will be hot.

Any way I was on my way to the Escape a little before 5 and got there at 5:20 and there were all kinds of parking spots right in front. As I said getting in and out of a car in a corset is not a graceful thing if you have a small car. I went inside and I of course was the first to get there from our group although there was probably 10 other people here already most at the bar. I remember when I would sit in the car till I saw someone I knew as I didn’t want to be the first one to arrive. I ordered dinner and got out my computer.

I had just finished my dinner when Cassandra showed up right about 6. We talked for a few minutes about Diva Las Vegas, we are both looking forward to it. We both changed our reservations so we arrive in Las Vegas on April 14 and leave on the 21st. We will be going through Palm Springs to drop Peggy off and pick up Julie. It will be so fun to have 3 of us in the car the whole trip. We have 8 of us for sure going and I hope a few more will go.

It wasn’t long and Nicole showed up. Her and her wife are down here for the weekend so she got to come out with us tonight. It is always so much fun to see her. She has been out almost as much as me this year. She started a blog but has it set to private so she can keep track of her outs. I would highly recommend this to everyone. Private or Public, transgender or not, keep a record of the things you do in life that are important to you, ad pictures, events, people you meet, places you go. Some day you will want to look back on things you did and this is a great way. When I ran into my neighbor that knows about Susan at Starbucks Friday I was able in just a couple minutes to look back and find the blog where she found out. Growing up I always thought diaries were silly but I really wish I had started my blog earlier and of course I did lose some of my blogs from GeoCities and yahoo 360 when they shut down. I now keep a lot of my blogs also on my computer just in case. Kimberly also showed up early so we have 4 of us here by a little after 6. The 4 of us talked about a lot of things as we waited for others to show up.

Next Kate, Melissa, Laura H. and Max showed up so we were up to 8.one of the local ladies at the bar came over and joined us for a while and of course she told us how nice we all looked which I never get tired of hearing. By 8 it was getting busy which is always nice to see as I do like when there is a big crowd more fun to people watch. WE all had a great time talking and of course a few of the girls played pool. By 9 Kimberly and Melissa had both left, tonight is daylight savings so we will move the clocks ahead 1 hour so we get less sleep tonight. I think a lot of us were planning on calling it an early night. About 9:30 Karaoke started and that is when it gets loud and hard to talk any more. Nicole was the next to leave, with Diva Las Vegas coming up in 5 weeks this will be her last trip down before we go so it will be a while till I see her again. She really is a good friend and has been coming out with the group pretty regular when you figure she lives 3 hours away. I still remember the first time I met her at Washington Square, that was February of 2014, wow 4 years ago. I was going out shopping and she contacted me on Facebook. She was in town and wanted to meet me. She was not dressing yet so I would meet her male side. It was a wonderful meeting and we hit it off and now she goes out as much as I do if not more. I really have met some wonderful friends as Susan and even the ones I meet now shape my life and Susan in some way.

It was almost 10 and I paid my bill as I was going to go home, after all with moving the clocks forward tonight it really is 11. Lori showed up as she is our late girl. She comes out around 10 and I guess stays till closing although I can’t say for sure as it has been a long time since I have been out that late. Well I got talking to her which was fun and of course listened to some of the karaoke and before I knew it, it was after 11. It will be a short night. I got home about 11:45 and I was ready for bed. The only problem was I had washed my sheets and blanket today so I had to make my bed first. Now I tried doing this as Susan and it was hard as 5-inch heels, and a corset are not normal stuff you wear. Strangely enough though what gave me the most trouble was my hair which kept getting in my face every time I bent over, so I removed the hair and finished making my bed before taking my heels, dress and corset off. Wow I would not want to be a maid.

It was a fun night out with my friends and I look forward to our next outing. Thanks for reading and be sure and keep up with what I am doing as Susan with my latest blog.

March 11, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saturday night at the Escape, yes, I get to go tonight.

It is Saturday and I had 2 things going on today so I wasn’t planning on being able to go out tonight. Well luck was with me and 1 got canceled and the other one got over early so I found myself at home a little after 3 with the rest of the day open. You guessed it I will be going out tonight, I started getting ready for a fun night out. Now I didn’t know for sure who all would be there other than Cassandra who posted in the group and Nicole who texted mew, she drove down from Seattle today just to go out with us. I was ready by about 5:20 and on my way getting to the Escape a little before 6. They were a little busy for as early as it was and also the two big tables were reserved for a party at 9. Now I debated about sitting there till 9 but decided to take the 3 small tables that were pulled together. They are taller with bar stools with no backs so not as comfortable but I was worried that come 9 we might not find a table to move to and it was the right decision.

I got my computer out and ordered dinner, I didn’t have much time on my computer as Cassandra showed up just a few minutes later followed by Nicole and Kimberly. Yes, we had 4 of us out by shortly after 6. We started talking and of course the first thing was Diva Las Vegas. We have made our plans now and Cassandra, Peggy and I will leave Friday morning and drive to Palm Springs to meet up with Julie and Trixie. Saturday Cassandra, Julie and I will drive to Las Vegas for Diva Las Vegas leaving Peggy to spend the week with Trixie. After Diva Las Vegas on Saturday we the 3 of us will drive back to Palm Springs drop off Julie and pick up Peggy and Sunday drive home, Road trip for Susan. This will save us a Friday and Saturday night in Las Vegas which are the most expensive, so instead of 9 nights it will only be 7 nights and should save us some money plus we get to spend more time with both Peggy’s and Julie.

We also talked about our Mexican Cruise in October which really is not that far off. We are all looking forward to it. I have never been on a cruise before so it will not only be a first for Susan but a first for me all the way around plus as we are planning on flying as our female selves that will also be a first. I am sitting right across the aisle from Julie and Cassandra so that will be fun. I am pretty sure that Kate, Mellissa and her wife are also on the same flight. It will be so much fun.

About 7:30 it started to get busy and I was glad I got the tables I did. Kate showed up as did Laura M, Jan & Lynn and one other girl from our group so we had 9 of us here tonight. Now they actually had to big parties here tonight so by 9 it was packed and everyone was having a great time. It is nice as we have got to know some of the regulars here so I was talking with a few of them also. It really was an enjoyable evening. Kimberly was the first to leave followed by Nicole as she had a 3-hour drive home.

Karaoke started and they had a different KJ tonight and she was really good also. Seems all the KJ’s for Karaoke can sing really well. It was a really fun night and I stayed out till 10:30 before calling it a night. Now I am actually on vacation this week but I have a lot of things I need to do so my Susan time will be a little limited. But on the top of my list is to try and get my Passport application turned in. I have been meaning to do that since December.

Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up with what I am doing as Susan in my most recent blog.


March 4, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Saturday at the Escape, getting there early

It is Saturday and I am going out for the evening to the Escape, not sure who else will be there but that is okay. My plan was to get there early and do some studying before others showed up. The next couple weeks my Susan time will be limited mostly sur of the moment outings which can also be fun. It is nice though to know when you will be going out though as it gives you time to plan and think about it and plan.

Well I started getting ready about 3:30 with the plan of being ready by 5. I was right on schedule. Now if you have been following my blogs you know I bought a corset several weeks ago from Orchard Corset and I have been wearing most times I go out as I have found it really does nice me a nice shape. Well I tried putting it on a little lower as my shape is not quiet the same as the typical female and this actually works better as it gives me better hips. Also wearing it so much has made it fit better and easier to lace up as it has somewhat formed to my body. It is the last thing I put on before my dress and hair. So tonight, I got it all on and had a nice shape. Now it was time for my dress. I had several on the bed and tried a couple but my blue and black one which was the second one I tried was the one I was going for tonight. Well I put the other 4 back in the closet and had the one I was going to wear but I decided to see if I could tighten the corset a little more as I have had it on for about 10 minutes now and yes to my amazement I could. So, I guess the trick is put the corset on and move around a little and then tighten again. Looking in the mirror I would say my waist was 4 or 5 inches smaller than my hips, I had an hourglass shape that looked great. The dress was on and the hair and I looked great. Corsets really do give you a nice shape.

It was just after 5 and I got my stuff and went down to the garage to get in the car, I have a smaller car. Wow getting in was hard and I couldn’t breathe. By the time I was in the car I had to sit a moment and catch my breath. Sitting in a low car seat with a corset, especially if it is tight is not real comfortable and a little hard to breathe. It is only a short drive but I was gals when I got to the Escape, it was just as hard getting out of the car. I went in and was glad I would be sitting on a hard chair that doesn’t sink down. I put my stuff on a table and noticed Lee over at the bar. She is one of our newer members, only her 3rd time out. I went over and said hi to her and she came over and joined me at the table.

She was here with her Sister, yes, she has come out to her sister and she is supportive of her which is great. Now it is funny as each time she has come out she has come out with someone different, tonight being her sister, they were actually meeting 2 other women tonight and then going someplace else. Wow she has come a long way fast I still have not come out to anyone from my male side although at least 1 of my neighbors know and I am guess more do. The five of us sat and talked for about an hour till it was time for them to leave at 6:30 as they had 7 pm reservations. I told them how great it was they were supportive of Lee especially her Sister. They were all really nice. On the way out, Lee’s Sister thanked me for looking after Lee which was nice and of course made me feel good.

Now I was by my self at least as far as our group but there were some people around me at tables. I got my book out and started reading. I discovered long ago I am not a reader, some people love to read books I have always believed if a book was good enough to read it would be a movie. Anyway, reading a boring text book is not easy. This I going to be a long couple of weeks and I am not sure I will get through the whole book. I read about an hour till Kate showed up. I was glad when she got there as it gave me a reason to put my book away which probably is not the right attitude.

Kate and I talked for a while mostly about why we like to dress and we still really can’t explain it. Kates girlfriend knows she dresses but Kate just told her that she goes out as Kate and she is taking it well, but that is how we got on the topic of why we dress. I really don’t have a defining reason why, I guess it is like asking someone why they like ice cream or chocolate. The reason is they like the taste, it not like you can give a long list of reasons you just like it. I just like dressing up and being Susan. I can spend an hour getting ready to go sit at Starbucks for a few hours and do work, my blog, e-mails or just goof off on the computer. Something I could do just as easy at home or even as my male self at Starbucks so it really doesn’t make sense. When I am at Starbucks I do kind of people watch but not as much as I use to and I am not really thinking about how I am dressed or how I look, hopefully cute. There really is no reason I can come up with other then I am just being me, just being who I am. I think so many of us want to be able to point to one thing, one point in time, one event that happened to us and say this is why but I have never found that. This is just who I am and I have accepted that and I think that makes all the difference. If you can accept yourself for who you are that is all that matters.

Kate and I were beginning to think we would be the only ones tonight but then Laura M and her girlfriend showed up and shortly after Teri Lee showed up. She is one of our newer members and came down from the Seattle area. I have exchanged messages with her so it was wonderful to meet her in person. She was meeting another girl she became friends with through our group named Andi who also came out tonight. I met Andi at Diva Las Vegas last year and she joined our group. It was good to see her again and get to know more about her. She actually met Teri Lee a couple weeks ago for Teri Lee’s first time out, tonight is her second and she was doing really well. Our group the Rose City T-girls is really a wonderful social group, but what makes it so special is the help it gives to helping new t-girls come out in the world. It really is a wonderful feeling, like earlier tonight when Lee’s sister thanked me for helping Lee it made me feel good but I have to admit I really love the feeling of helping someone new come out and become themselves. I remember my first time out and the next few times and the girls who helped me. Lori the girl who tapped on my car window and asked if I was going in just as I was about to leave for the 4th time without getting out of my car. Alice who I met after going out just a couple times and mad me feel so welcome and helped me get over my sheer terror. Cassandra who formed this group that I have been part of now for years. They all has such big impacts on my life and if I can do that for just one girl then I am the lucky one.

Another girl also showed up so we had 6 of us here tonight and we all had a great time talking and yes it was a busy night as there was standing room only. It is always fun when there are so many people here but it also makes it loud and hard to talk especially when Karaoke started but it was a fun night. Even talked with a few of the regulars here not from our group which is always fun. It was a really good night out, of course I stayed out later then I planned.

It was about 11:30 when I called it a night. I had been here about 6 hours but didn’t seem like it. I paid my bill and said my goodbyes. I went and got in my car and wow as hard ass it was earlier getting into my car it was worse now. Don’t get me wrong, I love my new corset and I am thinking of getting another but the drive home was hard, sitting in the low seat sunken in I was really uncomfortable. All I could think about was getting home and taking off the corset. May have been a little on the tight side but hopefully I will get use to it as I love the look it gives me, bit only short drives when it is tight.

Little long tonight but thanks for reading and be sure and see what’s new with Susan on my most recent blog.

February 25, 2018 Posted by | Escape Bar & Grill, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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