Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Monday night zoom meeting

Well it is another Monday night and that means we will have our weekly zoom meeting. I got home and had plenty of time so I took my time and enjoyed getting ready. I was all ready by 6:30 so I had time to relax and watch a little TV, I did get a few pictures but as it was dark outside and the LED lights just make the pictures look washed out so none good enough to post tonight.

I started the meeting just before 7 and girls started signing on. Tonight we had 12, Jennifer, Melissa, Danika, Danielle, Nicole, Jan & Lynn, Christa, Emily, Trish, Tori and me. It was great to see everyone and catch up. We did talk a little abut Diva Las Vegas which is 1 week away now, Jennifer and I are both looking forward to it and getting our nails done. I will get my nails done Friday night on my way home and Jennifer will get hers done on Sunday. I think next time maybe we should go together. We also talked about next weeks zoom meeting as I will be I Las Vegas and not able to host the meeting Melissa will be running it so we can keep it going.

It was about 8 when we got to Jennifer’s weekly question. The question was how many wigs doe we have and how many do we actually wear. Now there are lots of thoughts on wigs, and you can spend from $30 to several thousand dollars and again the views I express are mine and mine alone and is not the only right choice. I do have a few wigs I spent $200 to $300 on and I love them but I tend to go for the lower price ones $30 to $50. I view them s being disposable. Some girls have them re styled me I just buy a new one. The key though is find one that fits you and is comfortable to wear. The other thing you may be wondering is spending that much on a wig is it worth it and that is all up to you. I know a lot of woman that go get their natural styled every couple weeks and also getting it cut and colored and can spend $40 to $200 each time so my advice is not to think what others think or feel but decide for yourself. I will spend $40 to $50 + tip to get my nails done for a week and then another $25 to $40 to have them removed when I get home and for me it is worth every penny. We all have things that is important to us, life is short so be happy.

Well back t the question, seems most of the girls have 6 to 10 and 2 or 3 that their wear and some when they find a wig, they like they but extra’s as with so many things you find you like they quit making them. Even a few of the girls who have grown their natural hair out have kept some of their wigs. Now me I actually like wigs as I can change up my hair style and color very easily and if you follow my blog, you can see some of the different looks. Yes, I have my favorite but I have maybe 4 I wear the most and a few others less frequently and a few I never really wear, in all I have 14 different wigs, by the way if you see one you think looks really good on me or even t so good feel free to let me know. There are time I love the way I look in each of them and also tines not so much depending on my makeup, outfit and lighting.

Well it was about 8 :45 when girls started to sign off and by a little after 9 it was down to just Jan and I and we ended up talking till almost 10pm before we signed off. It was a wonderful evening. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Outback Steak house and yes getting my nails done on Friday night and my trip to Diva Las Vegas.

Be happy with who you are and be true to yourself. Thanks for reding my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

October 22, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting on Columbus Day

Happy Columbus Day

It is Monday (Columbus Day) and although where I work does not recognize it as a Holiday I do. Any way I had to work but being a holiday traffic was not bad so I actually got home earlier than normal so I had plenty of time to get ready today so I took my time. Now tonight I tried a little different look specifically my eyebrows, I tried a thinner brow arch and was pretty happy with it, still trying to figure out the best look for me. I was all ready by 5:45 so I had lots of time before our meeting started. I did get some pictures and then finished up my blog from Sunday and posted it online.

I started the meeting at 7 and girls started to log on, tonight we would have 11 of us, Jennifer, Melissa, Nicole, Christa, Jan, Lynn, Danielle, Jeannie, Emily, Tori and me. Now as normal we spent a little time catching up which was nice but we got to Jennifer’s question early as it was a really good one although it was really for those who are transitioning and living full time. now being October 11 it is not only Columbus Say but also national coming out day and that was what the question was about. It was about coming out to people and how many times? Now for most of us that don’t transition we may never come out to anyone or if we do it is usually very limited, maybe a spouse or family member but for those who do go full time and live as their true self it usually means coming out over and over again as you have to tell everyone and it is not something you can do one time. Now I have never come out to anyone although one of my neighbors found out and I admitted to it.

I had never really thought about it but yes if you do come out you may be doing many times of a long tine as you really can’t get everyone all together at one time and then there are the tings you don’t think about, drivers license, social security, doctors office, dentist, passport, bank accounts and so many more. Now some will be easier at least emotionally then others but most likely there will be sone you know that you will lose. I have often thought about what it would be like usually my co-workers and although I don’t know how they would take it but from what I know of them I think 60 to 70 % wouldn’t care either way. The rest would probably be divided between those that would have a problem with it and those that would think it was great.

Now it was interesting to hear what the others had to say and it usually starts with coming out to family and friends and then work and yes it seems to be as hard each time as everyone is different and you have to deal with each one separate and I realize I would approach telling my family different then work. This would be a hard thing to do but from listening to them they came to a point they could no longer not do it. The stress on them before they came out was way more then the stress of telling people and yes, they did lose some people in their lives but most say it was over all positive and worth it for them. Again I have not done this so I really only imagine what they went through.

The follow up question was what is the one thing most people ask about this and it really came down to 2, first for those who are married of in a relationship was what was going to happen to the relationship and how was the other person handling it. ow again I have no firsthand knowledge on this but at least in our group it seems the spouses and partners are okay and even supportive and I think when that happens it really helps the rest of the family be okay with it.

The other question is are you gay when you transition (or even present as female) most people believe you are then attracted to men, they confuse gender with sexual preference. Now I am not saying that for some there is the attraction to men but again my opinion from what I have observed I would say 60% are still just attracted to woman. The rest will either be attracted to both or maybe just men and that is all okay, be who you are. Now what I have noticed personally as I have had this question many times is some even when you tell them can’t understand it or just don’t believe it. yes, I present a lot as female and when I do part of that is taking on the roll of being female. That being said I am not at al attracted to men, part of my being Susan is to present as what I find attractive, I try to remove all my body hair as I find nothing attractive about hair on the body or face. Now I have had this conversation with people and I have had those that almost argue with me that I am wrong and I am attracted to men. Gender expressing and being the gender you are and who you are sexually attracted to are 2 different things.

The last question that was asked and I really haven’t had this question really and that was about your body specifically, surgical status and what body parts you have or don’t have and I was shocked that this would even be a question asked as I personally would never think of asking that. Please don’t ask that question, a person’s medical treatments and what they have done with their body is their choice alone, be respectful. Now some girl will talk about it and tell you and that is also fine but it is their choice to tell you or talk about it. mow my opinion and again this is my view only, if you see me out and are really interested and not trying to be rude you can ask me anything. Now I may tell you I am not comfortable answering a question (usually personal stuff like where I live or work) but other than that I will try to answer your questions as I feel or think and again it is just y views and may or may not be how other feel or think. We are all different and feel different or view things different and that is fine.

We actually spent most of the night talking about these questions and yes, we had a lot of similar thoughts and some differences. It was about 8:30 when girls started signing off and a little before 9, we were down to just 4 of us so we ended the meeting for the night. It was a really good night. now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Who Song and Larry’s.

Be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 13, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting

It is Monday and another zoom meeting tonight. I got home late but still had time to do my makeup and enjoy my time getting ready. Yes, this is my me time and I find it so relaxing especially after a busy day. Now I did a purple eye shadow look and my red lipstick and yes, I wore one of my older wigs with a more reddish color. I was all ready by 6:45 so I had time to get a few pictures before our meeting.

I started the meeting at 7 and ladies were logging on right away. Tonight we would have 14 of us, Jennifer, Nicole, Melissa, Jeanie, Danika, Jan, Lynn, Emily, Christa, Trish, Danielle, Driel, Tori and me, yes Jennifer’s daughter in-law joined us again tonight. Jennifer came out to her family over a year ago and she and her son has joined us before both online and once at a Wednesday night dinner. It was so nice to see so many girls long on. We talked for a while and just caught up on what was new in everyone’s life. We did talk a little about Diva Las Vegas which is only 3 weeks away and also about shoes and shoe sizes. Now I am a women’s size 10 to 11 depending on the width of the shoes. We do have some girls who are a size 9 and then all the way up to a size 15. It was a nice evening and a littler after 8 Jennifer asked her question and again it was a good one and I thought I could remember it but almost a week later writing my blog I forgot. I will have to make sure I write them all down.

It was about 8:30 when girls started to sign off and by 9, we ended the meeting. It is always sad to see it come to an end but now I am looking forward to Wednesday night’s dinner.

Be happy with who you are, Thanks for reading my blog.

October 9, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting with friends

It is another Monday and that means time with my friends in our zoom meeting tonight. Now I have been thinking about how I want to do my makeup tonight. Now I always wear Maybelline superstay long wear lip stick as it stays on all day even through eating but tonight, I wanted to try a new one. Last Monday when I was out shopping I got a new MAC Russian Red lip stick and it really is a beautiful red and as I won’t be eating tonight as Susan, I figured it was the perfect chance to wear it. Now to also make the color pop I went with a lighter shade of foundation as I think it looks better with a more pale skin tone, and of course my long blonde wig. It is a little harder look to do but if it turns out it really is a pretty look. I started getting ready a little after 5 and took my time and yes, I spent almost 2 hours getting ready tonight including a few different outfits, I settled on a dark blue dress. I have a few dresses that I bought that actually fit me but are too short when I sit so, I don’t wear them out but I figured at home sitting on the couch on video it would be fine. I was all ready by 6:55 and got a few pictures before starting the meeting right at 7. Let me know what you think of my look tonight.

Now there were already girls waiting and tonight we would have 12 of us, Melissa, Sherri, Jeanie, Danielle, Danika, Emily, Lynn, Tori, Nicole, Trish, Jennifer and me. It was great to see them and just talk and catch up. It really is about just being social and interacting with each other even if only on a video chat. We talked till a little after 8 before it was time for Jennifer’s question of the week and it was what would be your ideal shopping trip. Now the one thing we pretty much all agreed on its going with someone else and it was 1 or 2 others with us as we felt that was the right amount and yes maybe have lunch during the trip which is really how I like to do it. some felt having a Cis woman with you would be best and yes, I have gone shopping with Peggy and it is a lot of fun but for me it s just sharing it with someone else as you end up talking a lot, maybe more then shopping. Now one of the girls talked about having a personal shopper and yes that would be awesome. I remember years ago when I was first going out shopping, I drove up towards Seattle to a mall up there and went to the Nordstrom’s and a really nice sales lady helped find a skirt and showed me to the dressing room so I could try it on. Now the funny part is as I was trying it on, she was bringing me more items, tops to go with the skirt and a few more skirts. I was probably in the dressing room for 30 minutes trying on different looks and yes, I would come out and ask her opinion and she was pretty honest as she said some of them didn’t work for me. It was a wonderful experience and I think I did buy one of the skirts and tops.

Now for me I have thought about this and for me the one thing I have always wanted to do would be to go to a bridal store and try on wedding dresses and maybe maid of honor dresses, you know fancy type dresses. Now I have no place to wear such a dress but it would be so much fun and to get some pictures. Now if you read my blog, you know I like watching Hallmark movies and they are all the same mostly romance and a lot of time you see the bride to be going to try on wedding dresses with her mom and maid of honor and it really does look like so much fun. I guess it would have been the same at a young age going to try on prom dresses. These are some of the wonderful things young girls and ladies get to enjoy in their life that young boys and men never get to experience. Now I realize I will probably never get to do this but it is wonderful to think about. Now thinking about shopping with someone else the other thing is women will help each other, find things for them to try on and give them an honest opinion on outfits. Have you ever seen a man getting clothes for his friend in a dressing room to try on or telling him how good he looks in an outfit? As I have said it is wonderful to be female even if only part time to get to share this wonderful part of life. It was a wonderful discussion thanks for such a wonderful question, Jennifer.

Now we talked more and it was almost 9 before girls started to sign off and yes once you lose the first one you seem to lose others and by about 9:15 it was down to just Sherri and me so we got to talk for a while just the 2 of us which is nice as you really get to know the other person better. We talked for maybe 15 minutes and it was nice, Sherri is a lucky woman as she has a supportive wife and a great friend to help her, yes if you must have a helpful friend to help you having an aesthetician (beauty expert for MAC) is hitting the lottery. It was really nice and Sherri hopes to be able to come to Portland more often over the winter. She wasn’t sure she could make it on a Wednesday night but that is okay as I told her I would be willing to do other nights as I am always happy for another night as Susan especially if I can get together with someone. I also told her I could probably get a few others to go out if I had a little bit advance notice.

Well it was about 9:30 when I closed down the meeting for the night, it is always sad to see the evening and yes, this week will be little Susan time as we don’t have a dinner this week as most of the girls are out of town and it looks like I will have family in town next weekend so it may be next Monday before I get some Susan time again.

Now a funny thing, as I was getting up, I wanted to check my lipstick and see how it still looked and I was using my camera and I accidently took a candid picture of myself. Now I was leaning over and my hair was falling forward and it kind of gave me the big hair look from the 80’s. I went back and forth and somehow, I kind of like the look, will be interesting to hear other thoughts.

Be safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 14, 2021 Posted by | mac, zoom | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Monday night zoom meeting

It is Monday and I get to spend time online with my friends tonight. I got by 4:45 and started getting ready. I took my time and tried a more natural eye makeup look with more neutrals and browns but I did try a winged eyeliner. I still can’t seem to get that but I was happy with it as it probably was my best attempt. I also went with my pinkish fuchsia colored lipstick; in all I was happy with the look. I was all ready by 6pm and got a few pictures before I sat down and finished my blog from Sunday and posted it just before it was time to start our meeting.

I started the meeting and girls signed on, tonight we had a total of 9 of us, Danika, Jennifer, Nicole, Melissa, Danielle, Emily, Tori, me and Sherri. Yes, Sherri joined in for a little bit but kept her camera off as she was in male mode as she is on vacation with her family. It was great she could join in for a little while.

Well we all talked for a while and just caught up and yes there was some good conversation, something I love as Susan. my male self is not big on just sitting around talking but Susan really enjoys it, either in person or online.

It was about 8:15 when we finally got to Jennifer’s question this week, what questions have you been asked about your transgender experience, and how have you responded? Now this is a good question and yes some of us have had the same question. Now the one I get asked the most seems to be about my sexual orientation, am I gay? The simple answer is no I am not, now I don’t men to sound bad but I am attracted Cis woman. Not transwoman or men, now there is nothing wrong with being attracted to the same sex or trans people but I just don’t have those feeling. The way I present as Susan is really what I am attracted to in woman, nice nails, lipstick, nice makeup, dresses and heel. Now the funny thing is most of the woman I have dated don’t fit what I am attracted to, most of my past girlfriends, only one had nice nails, none of them wore lipstick unless it was a special occasion and same went for wearing dresses of heels. Now I only bring this up as who you are attracted to has nothing to do. The fact I love to dress and present as Susan, wear makeup and pretty clothes and get my nails done is just that. Now once I had a girl that I was exchanging e-mails with and she kept going back to, how could I put so much effort into looking pretty (thank you) and not want to attract a man. I think the way I finally got through to her was when I started asking her that every time, she did her makeup or how she dressed wasn’t because she like it but because she was trying to attract men. How I look, what I like to wear and how I like to present in public or act is nothing more then me being who I am. Now some of the girls had this same experience.

Now there have been other questions and ii am sure some of them were good but I just can’t remember them but this one. Back in the early years of going out when we went to Embers and before we ever thought of Wednesday night dinners or my going to Starbuck, one time we closed down Embers so it was 2:30 am when we left and on my way home, I decided to stop at a WinCo and do a little shopping as I thought how busy could they be at that time. Trust me they are busy. Well I walked in in my little black dress and 4-inch heels which really made me stand out. Well I got my stuff and I am sure I got looks and I went to the checkout and they only had one open and a line of about 8 people so now I was standing close to people. Well the young lady in front of me looked at me a couple times and finally spoke to me and asked if she could ask me a question that might be a little embarrassing without offending me. Now in my mind I knew what was coming and I was prepared to explain yes, I was male and liked to dress this way, so I said yes. Well she caught me off guard. She said she was turning 30 in a couple weeks and it was really embarrassing but she had never worn heels and wanted to get some but was worried she wouldn’t be able to walk in them and she wanted to know how hard it was and how I did it, not the question I was expecting. Well we spent about 10 minutes waiting in line as I explained how I walk in heels, the difference between heel types and the biggest thing the different surfaces you walk on. It was really fun and after she paid for her groceries, she waited for me to pay for mine and we walked out together still talking as she wanted to see how I walked in them. Now I did wonder if her question was just to hear my voice to confirm what she thought but if that had been it, she probably wouldn’t have talked with me so long. It was a fun night.

Well it was about 9 when we lost the first girl and then girls dropped off quickly and soon it was just Danielle and me. Well we kept talking till almost 9:45 before I shut the meeting down, it was really enjoyable as I really like talking one on one as you really get to know each other. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner and my 3-day weekend coming up next weekend.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for following my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

September 3, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday August 2nd zoom meeting

Well it is another Monday and yes, I get to spend a little time online with my friends in a zoom meeting, I wonder if zoom envisioned that their platform would be used for a group of Transgender people to get together once a week and socialize. Our group actually did it first test of Zoom on April 11th 2020 and we have been doing a weekly zoom meeting every week since then. It has really helped our group stay connected and grow and, in some ways, brought us closer. The fact only one girl can talk at a time makes it so everyone is involved in the same conversation and you do get to learn more about who each girl is. I got home from work and started getting ready as I wanted to take my time transforming myself. Now I can get ready in an hour or less if I must but I really do like to take my time and I feel 1 ½ hours is good as it gives me the time to enjoy it. my time getting ready relaxes me and calms me and yes brings balance to my life. Now some may think spending that much time is a waste but my belief is if you enjoy something do it as it is not a waste. Some people cook, exercise, or yes even paint to relax, for me it is doing my makeup and transforming myself, so my advice is find what makes you happy and do it.

I was all ready about 6:20 and went downstairs and turned on my computer, now I was way behind on my blog so I wrote my blog from the previous Monday night zoom meeting and got it posted just as the meeting was starting. Yes, I am finding it hard to keep up with my blogs on a timely manner. Well when I started the meeting there were already ladies waiting and yes, some spouses as tonight we will do a breakout room so they can talk between themselves. By about 7:10 we had 15 online including 3 spouse and Jennifer’s daughter in-law. We had Nicole, Jennifer, Jan, Danika, Danielle, Emily, Chris, Melissa, Trish, Tori, Marry Anne, Lynn, Lorna, Driel and me so it was a good turnout. at 7:15 I started the breakout room and moved the spouse there so they could have privacy, I think this really is helpful for them. The rest of us just talked and caught up and yes part of it was about the weather as we are going back into another hot week, the next 8 days it will me mid 90’s with 3 of them over 100 which again for Portland is hot.

We also just talked and caught up and yes one of our girls is having trouble with this side of herself, from talking to her she is more leaning to transitioning but has a wife and child of which both are supportive of her which is awesome but she is having the issue with how this will affect them which I think is a good thing. I will explain this as I don’t want to cause issues. Yes, we need to be who we are and yes live life the way that makes us happy but we also have to remember every choice we make affects others in some way, it may e small or it may be huge and just as we want others to accept us and how we want to live we also have to acknowledge how others feel and how it affects them. In this case yes, her wife is supportive and so is her child but they will be losing a husband or father and gaining a wife or mother as to the rest of the world that is what they will see. If my brother transitioned, I would support him and yes, I would have a new sister but I would lose a brother and I would miss some of the things about having a brother. We often forget in the search for who we truly are others may lose something. If you are single, it is not as big of a deal but if you are married or have children it is. Now you need to be yourself and do what makes you happy but give others the time to understand this. For me it took me years to understand who I was and probably 4 years to fully understand and accept who I was, yes, I just dated myself but I feel if it took me that long just imagine what someone from the outside thinks.

Well now it was time for Jennifer’s question of the week. Is there someone that did something for you that was unexpected and made you feel really good? now Nicole went first and se brought up a few weeks ago when we had dinner at California Pizza and another customer paid for our groups dinner that night and yes, she was right that was the one I was thinking of also so I just agreed with her. It was nice to hear what some of the other girls had to say, we have all had one of those experiences so it was a good question. The thing is between Monday night when we had our meeting and today when I am writing it, I got thinking about this and there are so many of these that happen and you may not realize it when it happens and some can be so small but have such a huge impact on our lives. The lady who helped me get out of the car that first night out after 3 failed attempts, Alice for e-mailing me when she was in town and talking me into joining her at Embers, Cassandra talking me into joining the Rose City T-Girls group and so many others. A lot of time we may not realize how little things can affect our lives. Had the first girl not helped me get out of the car that night would I still be hiding in my house afraid to go out? Had Alice not talked me into going out with her would I never have met Cassandra and joined the group? Had Cassandra not talked me into joining the group would I have met the wonderful friends I have in my life tight now? Even my blog I started it many years ago, I started it as I shared a house with a coupe friends and was worried what they might see on my computer so I created my first profile online and wrote on there about my time dressing at how and that is how this blog started, had I not had roommates I might not have done that and I have met some wonderful people through my blog, as a matter of fact several of the girls in the group found the group through my blog. So my long-winded point I am making is never underestimate the little things even the smallest gesture may have a huge impact on someone’s life. So thanks to all of you in my life, those I have met or only know online.

Well it was after 9 and the breakout room shut down and some of them rejoined the amin room and we talked for a while and we still had most of the girls signed on. It really wasn’t till almost 9 when most girls signed off and it was almost 10 when I closed the meeting down for the night, it was such a good night and now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner. We are going to go to Olive Garden.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life.

August 14, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting

It is Monday and that means spending time with my friends online in a zoom meeting. I got home from work at 4:15 so I had tome to get ready so I took some time and checked my e-mails and it was a good thing I did, Jennifer had e-mailed me to tell me she would make it tonight but also remind me I hadn’t sent out information on the meeting, I usually do this on Saturday or Sunday afternoon at the latest but as I was out of town for the weekend I forgot so I quickly sent out the invite but was hoping girls would show up as it is the same meeting information from last week as I can repeat them for 7 weeks.

I started getting ready so I could take my time as I love the time, I spend doing my makeup, it relaxes me. I did a smokey eye look and tried a new lipstick color tonight, it is called Raisin, I think it might be a nice daytime look. I was all ready by 5:30 so I had plenty of time so I worked on my blog from last Mondays zoom meeting yes, I am way behind. I am getting more Susan time but it is harder to keep up on my blogs. I got my blog finished and it was almost time to start the meeting so I logged on and hoped others would be there even though as I said I posted it late. Well I didn’t have to worry as ladies started logging on and by a little after 7, we had 11 of us online. Emily, Jan & Lynn, Nicole, Danielle, Melissa, Jeanie, Trish, Tori, Dawn and me. It was great to see all my friends tonight especially Dawn as she has been really sick and missed the last several months.

We talked for a while and just caught up on how everyone was. These meetings are nice as we are all involved in the same conversation. Now somehow we got on the topic of transgender in TV shows and I think it was Melissa who brought up that the TV show Night Court did one back in the early 80’s which actually is surprising for that time. I used to watch that show and didn’t remember it but it got me thinking. I remember an episode of the Love Boat which also had a Transgender. Well another one of the girls said there was also an episode of All in the Family that had a transgender on and that would have been probably the late 60’s now I didn’t see it so not sure how well it was done but I thought the episode of Love Boat was well done. Any way it got me thinking if any other TV shows from back then did the same thing, if you know of any please leave it on a comment.

We had a nice time talking and as always, the night went by so fast and soon it was 9 pm and girls started to sign off. It was a good evening. Now I am looking forward to this weeks Wednesday night dinner, we are going to the Outback Steakhouse on Barnes Road which we have gone here before. Jennifer is coordinating this one and t will be special as not only her wife will be going but her son and daughter in-law who has joined us a few times on Zoom meeting. Actually several of the girls are going and brining their spouses or significant others and it should be a good turnout.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.


August 6, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night Zoom meeting July 26th

Well it is another Monday and I get to spend some time on Zoom with my friends. Actually it has been a busy week so I am actually way behind on my blogs and writing last week zoom blog tonight before this week’s zoom meeting. I got home and got ready; I so look forward to my time getting ready. I find it so relaxing doing my makeup and transforming myself to Susan. I did a smokey eye look tonight and was happy with the look tonight. I was all ready by 6:30 so I had time to get a few pictures.

I started the meeting a little before 7 and girls started logging on. Tonight we would have 12 of us, Nicole, Jan & Lynn, Jennifer, Melissa, Danika, Danielle, Antonia, Emily, Trish, Tori and me. It was great to see my friends again and catch up. Now the nice thing about these zoom meetings is only one person can talk at a time so everyone is involved in the same conversation and it is easier to get to know more about each other. We actually get good participation from these online meetings and we also get members who are not local, one of our furthest away members joins us from Bangkok Thailand, also Seattle area and Sacramento.

Now Jennifer did have a question but right now I can’t remember what it was. We all talked till about 9 when girls started to sign off. It was a fun night. now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Old Spaghetti Factory, it will be my last chance to be Susan for a week as I will be out of town visiting my brother for the weekend.

Stay safe and be happy and thanks for reading my blog.

August 2, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , | 2 Comments

Monday night zoom meeting

It is Monday again and that means another Zoom meeting with my friends. I got home and started getting ready. I took my time tonight as I had a lot of time. I was all ready by 6:30 so I got a few pictures and figured I would finish my blog from Sunday as I am behind. I went a head and started the meeting at 6:40 so it would be ready when other girls wanted to log on and to my surprise Danika signed on almost immediately and right after her was Nicole, Jan & Lynn, Jennifer and Emily so by 6:55 we had 7 of us logged on so I didn’t get to work on my blog but that was okay.

By a little after 7 we had everyone logged on and tonight, we had 12 of us, Danika, Nicole, Jan & Lynn, Jenifer, Emily, Melissa, Danielle, Trish, Patty, Jeanie and me. It was great to see and talk with everyone tonight. Now one of the subjects tonight was about eye lid lifts, yes one of our ladies had some droop in her eyelids which we will all face at some point, well it turns out if this effects your peripheral vision it is covered by medical insurance. Well when she went in for her consultation, she told the surgeon she was transgender so he was going to do a little more for her. Now she joined us tonight as the day she was supposed to have her surgery she woke up with a head cold so it was postponed but it was interesting to hear about what she plans on having done. Now I have no plans to transition or go full time but I also realize that time and age have an impact on your life, body and looks. I have talked with a few girls who wonder how long they can continue dressing before their age make it hard and for me, I don’t see an age that will happen at least at this point although I may have to tone it down some, plus we have some older members that look awesome when they go out.

We also had one of our ladies who had top surgery and yes, we have another one who will get theirs in a few days so that was the next topic. Now I think all of us has at least thought about having real breast and yes that include me also. Yes, when I am Susan, I do wish I had real breast as it would make it so much easier and yes fun. The thing is for me when I am not Susan, I don’t even think about it. Any way it was fun and interesting to hear about the procedure and how she feels now that it is done. These were to good topics tonight.

We talked a little more and yes Jennifer had a question tonight, what was one or more if the events in your life that you really remember that changed your life. Now for me the most important really wasn’t an event but some of the people I have et who helped me grow and accept this side of me. I got thinking about this and yes there was Lori who helped me get out of my car for the first time, Alice who would e-mail me and get me to join her when she came to Portland, Cassandra who talked me into joining her yahoo group which became the Rose City t-girls, and so many others but it is more then that. There are those who really had small impacts that really were bigger than you think. There was a girl named Rachel who talked me into going to dinner with her one night, this was early on when I maybe got out once every 4 to 6 months, well that night after dinner we stopped into Embers and that was the night, I met Cassandra and joined her group and started going out once a week. Had I not gone to dinner that night I night never have met Cassandra or at the very least it would have been month or years later. You never know who will have an impact on your life. Now I only mentioned a few here but there are so many who have had such a huge impact on my life and they really ate my best friends or more like family. I can’t imagine my life without them and the thought that had I not made that first outing or met these girls early on how different my life would have been and not in a good way.

Now on to my event and again there have been many that stick out but one I always come back to. If you read my blog, you know I love long nails and it is something I have always wanted to have and yes if I could have them all the time I would. Ay way it was back in the mid 1990’s and I had been dressing at home and yes sometime making late night drives but I really wanted to try acrylic nails and at this time I really didn’t know much about how they were done or removed. Well I had a 3-day weekend so I summoned all my courage and booked a hotel room for Thursday, Friday and Saturday night and told my roommate I was going camping. I then called and made an appointment to get my nails done. My plan was to get them done and spend the days in my hotel room and maybe make some late-night drive. Now I did go as Susan to get my nails done and this really was my first outing other then going through a burger king drive through. As I said I really didn’t do much that weekend other than fulfilling a lifelong dream of getting my nails done and I have loved them ever since. Now the funny thing is the next week at work I was talking with one of the ladies I worked with, the only one with acrylic nails and I complimented her on them and commented on why the other women at work didn’t get their nails done and I still remember what she said to me, she said you have no idea how expensive having nails like this is, and she told me she spent almost $1,000 a year at tat time to have her nails done. Well in my mind I was thinking I do know how expensive they are as I just spent almost $300 dollars on a hotel room for 3 night, $30 + tip to get acrylic nails and then 3 days later $15 + tip to have them removed and I only had them 3 days, way more expensive in a per day then what she spends. Now there were other event, going to Diva Las Vegas the first time, first tome going to a restaurant for dinner, first time to Starbucks or shopping, first tine flying but for me the nails was the one big thing and I still love getting them done today. Take some time and think back on your life and the big events you have had and the people you have met and they may seem small but all those things have an impact on you and your life.

We talked some more till about 9 and then girls started signing off and it was not long after the meeting came to a close for the night and now I am looking forward to Wednesday night dinner.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new on my life.

July 23, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting

Well it is another Monday and the start of the week and that means spending time with my friends on a zoom meeting tonight. I got home from work and started getting ready, now tonight I did a more casual look and was pretty happy with how it turned out. I was all ready by 6 so had time for a few pictures and to relax and watch some TV. It is still strange not to call and talk to my mom. I logged on and started the meeting a little before 7 and waited for ladies to log on.

It was a little before 7 and girls started to log on. It is always nice to see my friends, tonight we had 11 of us in in 10 windows. Tonight we had Nicole, Jan, Lynn, Jennifer, Jeanie, Melissa, Danika, Emily, Danielle, Tori and me. Now the good thing about the Zoom meetings are everyone gets to be involved but also it allows you to join in even if not here locally. Tonight 2 of our ladies were from up by Seattle, one from Thailand and yes Jennifer was on vacation in Utah visiting family. Jennifer came out to her family over the last year and some have seen pictures and joined us on our zoom meetings but tonight she was at her daughter’s house as Jennifer and logged in for a while to join us, how awesome is that.

We talked for a little while just catching up and yes, I brought up this weeks Wednesday nights dinner at Who Song & Larry’s, Jan, Lynn and Danika are planning on going. It was about 8 when we got to Jennifer’s question of the night. how does this side of us influence how we see the world and women? It was interesting to hear some if the girl’s thoughts. Now for me there are several things, first I understand how long it takes for women to get ready, hair, makeup and clothes, jewelry. There is a lot to getting ready, the women I have dated I have never rushed them or said anything about how long they take. For the men out there if you have never done makeup before you just don’t understand, be patient as they get ready. the other thing is I have a better understanding of how the world sees them. For a man it really is all about how well you do things but for women they are viewed on that plus other things. Most of the time how well they do things is not what they are judged on first, sometimes it is not even in the top 5. Now I love doing my makeup and trying to look pretty but if that was all I was judged on or if that was the Most important thing people saw in me every day, I would not like it. what I am trying to say is don’t just judge someone on how they look or who they are, get to know them. We need to get away from judging people this way on everything. If we al took the time to get to know each other, if we could accept others have different beliefs, views, even political views. The key is to accept the differences and find things you can agree on and that would make the world a better place.

Now I like to dress and yes, I am transgender, now I don’t think everyone has to like what I do, or how I live my life but they do need to respect my right to be who I am. We talked a little more and yes some was about makeup. we had a wonderful evening. It was about 9 when girls started signing off and soon it was Jan, Lynn and me, we talked for a little while longer before we signed off for the night. now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner.

Stay safe, be happy and treat others how you want to be treated.

Thanks for reading my bog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

July 17, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , | Leave a comment

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