Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Out on a Thursday night for dinner

Thursday night out, Cassandra texted me to see if I wanted to meet her for dinner at the second avenue sports bar (ne old Fox & Hounds). I decided to go have dinner with her. We were going to meet at 6 and after dinner go to Embers for a little while as tonight is the last night open as they are being shut down. I got all ready and got downtown just before 6 traffic was horrible tonight do to the Blazer game. Cassandra was already there on her computer. It was good to be out again.

We talked a little about the group and up coming events and also about the changes here at the old Fox & Hounds. The new owner Erin is really nice and she has really cleaned things up and made it look new, added a couple more pool tables. It really is nice. We ordered dinner and it was really good. Now I am not saying Fox & Hounds was bad as I really liked it and we always had a nice time there but things change and sometimes change is good. It is a nice place and I would recommend the Second Avenue Sports bar check them out 217 NW 2nd Ave, Portland, OR 97209. It was a really nice time. It was a little after 7 when we decided to go over to Embers for their last night.

We got over there and they were really busy, it took us a little while to find a parking spot a couple blocks away. We got to Embers and there was a line to get in, we ran into David who use to work here when we came here. Now we have not been to Embers in probably 7 years, I think the last time we were here was the summer of 2010. We had a disagreement with the owner and we found another place called the P-club and well that didn’t work out either but because of it we started going more places and that was a good thing as we have grown so much as a group. Now although we haven’t gone here in years it still does have a special place in my heart. Embers was the first place I really ever went out, I had actually gone here 3 times sat in my car for an hour and then left, the 4th time I was getting ready to leave when another t-girl walked by and tapped on my car window and asked if I was going in and I did her name was Lori and she was the first person I had ever met that was transgender. That night really changed my life as for the first time I felt I wasn’t the only one like this. This is also where I met Alice, my first real friend in the transgender community. She would e-mail me when she came to Portland and I would go meet her at Embers. I so looked forward to when she came to town as at this point I would not go out by myself and it took all I could do to walk into Embers even knowing she would be there. Alice doesn’t get out any more but I still think of her and how she helped me start going out. This is a picture of us from a long time ago.

Embers was the first place I went and that does make it sad that it closed, so many of our girls in the group this was where they got their start. We all have some fond memories from here and although we haven’t gone here for a while it is still kind of like home. I think that is why Cassandra and I and I am sure all the people who came here tonight are here. It is like going back to the home you grew up in.

We really did have some wonderful times here, it was every Friday night and sometimes on Saturday night, some of the girls came here Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. It was a safe place we could go and be ourselves even if we weren’t sure who we were at that point.

This is where I met Cassandra for the first time probably in 2007 and found out about the Rose City T-girls group she had. It was a great idea but I was still nervous and didn’t join till early 2008 but that was the best thing I did as I got to know more of the girls and that is where I really started to become the lady I am now with the help of my friends. Cassandra is one of my best friends now and knows almost as much about my male self as my female self. As a matter of fact, several of the girls in the group know almost as much about my male self as my female self.

Embers is where I met Jan & Lynn, Tereasa, Peggy, Barb, Rachael, Penelope and so many others and I am still friends with them today. This is a picture of Rachael, me, Penelope and Cassandra, we met them here at Embers and just hit it off. It is funny as we took so many pictures back then but that was also 3 computers ago and I am sure I have all the pictures just not sure where to find them. We came here for New Years a couple times, here is a picture from that, what cute hats we all have on.

I think we will all miss it as Embers really did shape our lives some and who we are. Below are a few more pictures I found from Embers all those years ago. I created my blog as a way to document my life and time as Susan and it is nice at times like this I can go back and remember some of the things I have done and the people I have met. Now I am not saying you should all do a blog but you should have some pictures and some notes to look back on what you did and the people who you met and had an impact on your life. We only stayed here till about 9:30 as I had to get up early in the morning. On the way out, we talked with David more and also ran into Jim. He use to come out with us all the time at Embers but when our group left and went else where we lost touch with him. It was great to see him again. It was a good night but a little sad.

Thanks for reading and keep up with me on my most recent blog.

Cassandra an I at the pool table




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December 2, 2017 Posted by | Dinner out, Embers | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

A chance to get out Friday night to Sweet Home

It is Friday and I am going to get out tonight to Sweet Home for a little while, besides Cassandra texted she would be there for a while also. I am looking forward to it as it has been a long time. But first a side note, I have been getting acrylic on my mails now since spring and for the last 6 weeks a light pink color and the last time a little thicker acrylic. Any way today at work finally one of the ladies said something and it was kind of funny. I was getting something and she looked at me and said “wow (male name) you have better looing nails then I do, I have been slacking off” I just said thanks, she looked at her nails and said “wow my nails look like crap” I smiled and said a little money and time at a nails salon will fix that. Now I was looking at her nails they had polish on about half the nail and really did look bad, they would have looked better with no polish on them and I thought to myself yes almost everyone here male or female have better looking nails. It will be interesting to see what her nails look like on Monday. Now as I said no one has said a thing about my nails till this but what I have noticed is I see a lot fewer ladies here at work with nail polish chipped and worn this bad, I think they are redoing their nail polish more often and not letting the polish get so bad. Maybe I am having a small effect as they don’t want a male to have nicer nails.

Well I got home early and I knew Cassandra was planning on being there by 5 and Chris probably earlier so I decided to get there as early as I could, more Susan time. It was a little before 4 when I started getting ready. Now I have said it many time and sorry if to you it is repeating it but I really do love my time getting ready. There is just something so relaxing and enjoyable about becoming Susan and doing my makeup. It is funny how something like doing my makeup can make me feel so nice inside. I was ready by 5 and on my way to meet my friends at Sweet Home. I am not sure how many will show up but it will be fun. I am also looking forward to seeing some of the people from the other group.

I got there and Cassandra and Chris were there playing pool and Roxy showed up just after I got there. It was good to see them all again. I gave Cassandra my money for our dinner cruise on the Portland Spirit in December, she is making the reservation and paying for it and we pay her. It is awesome of her to do this and coordinate events like this. I think she said we had 18 signed up but still 5 need to pay yet. She doesn’t have to pay till the 22nd so there is still a little time even for those not signed up. Right now, we have spots for 25 so if you are here in Portland and want to go get a hold of Cassandra. This is really going to be fun I have wanted to go on a dinner cruise on the Portland Spirit and to think my first will be as Susan.

We also talked about our Mexican cruise next October which will also be so much fun. Cassandra asked me if I was planning on doing the whole trip as Susan including flying down and back. I told her yes, I was, I really want to try flying as Susan although I do know 3 people who work TSA at the airport but I figure the odds of me going through one of their lines is small. It is funny though as 10 years ago it took all I could do just to get out of mat car and go in someplace. Now I have gone to Las Vegas several times and lived and traveled as Susan, checking in and out of hotels as Susan and now ii am planning on flying on an air plane as Susan. I have come a long way and it is al because of my wonderful friends I have made. I really think Cassandra would love to make the trip and fly as Cassandra but she is worried of running into someone at the airport she knows and as her wife is going with her that would give her away. It will be interesting what happens but we still have 11 months to figure it out.

We also talked about Diva Las Vegas we are all looking forward to it although being a little later this year one of our girls may not be able to go but she is thinking she may be able to rearrange things a little and at least go for part of it. It really is a fun event. We also talked about maybe just doing a Las Vegas trip with our group, the last few years we have had 10 to 15 each year from our group and maybe we could get them to go at a different time.

It was not real busy here tonight as the other main group that comes here had another event tonight which was a little sad as I was looking forward to seeing them again. Looks like I will have to try and make it out another Friday night. There were some new faces here although as I have not been here for a while I was probably the new face. A couple men came by and told Cassandra and I how beautiful we looked tonight. I am not interested in men but it is always nice to hear you are pretty. Any way it was a small group of us tonight, just 5 from our group but still fun.

BY 9:30 we were thinking of calling it a night, which is funny as 10 years ago we didn’t even show up till 9:30 or 10 but we did get here early tonight. Karaoke started and it was good, we listened for a little still talking as we could. We made it till 10:30 and then we all paid our bills and called it a night. It was a good night out.

Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up with me and what Susan is doing with my most resent blog.

November 18, 2017 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Saturday night at Harvey’s Comedy club, once again.

It is Saturday night and our group are going to Harvey’s Comedy club. Now we have been coming here for several years till they closed last summer. It was sold and the new owners have reopened it. I was looking forward to tonight. Now we have gone here so many times but it is a fun night and it is out in a mainstream environment. I like these outings just like Starbucks as it gives us a chance to interact with everyone and let them see who we are. Now as I said it was a busy day and I didn’t get home till 6 pm so it was a rush to get ready.
What helped is I knew what I was wearing tonight and how I was going to do my makeup and as long as I didn’t change my mind I was good. The only problem was I wouldn’t have the time to relax and enjoy my getting ready. Well no changes in what I was wearing and I was all ready by 6:50 and on my way. I originally figured it would be after 8 and I would go straight to Harvey’s but as it was earlier than I thought I had time to go to Fox & Hounds and meet the other girls there first. It was almost 7:30 when I parked and walked to Fox & Hounds. Cassandra was playing pool with one of the girls and Peggy, Jan & Lynn were sitting at the bar. I joined them and we started to talk which is always fun, I love sitting around and talking with the girls. It was great to see them again and Peggy even had on a dress and heels. Melissa and Joan showed up so we had 7 of us here tonight. Now the lady working the Bar was really nice and it turns out she is one of the new owners, yes Fox & hounds was sold a few months back and they have changed the name to Second Ave Sports Bar. We talked for a while till about 8:30 before heading over to Harvey’s. Peggy and Cassandra drove and Jan & Lynn road with them and Melissa, Joan and I walked over. We could have drove but I enjoy the walk although it was a little on the cold side mainly because of the wind.

We got there not long after Cass, Peggy, Jan and Lynn did. We all sat and talked and waited for the rest of the girls to show up. Julie and Trixie were the next to show up and it was great to see them also, I so love my girlfriends. Jeanie and Cassie were the last two to show up so we had 11 of us here tonight. It started to get busy and it looks like they will have a good crowd here tonight. Now we were not sure about our table as we really know no one here now so as people got up to get in line to go in we joined them. We stood there for about 15 minutes and we even talked to the people in front of us and as they took pictures we were in the back ground. While we were in line the manager came over and welcomed us and told us it was nice to see us there and if we needed anything to let him know which was really nice and made us feel welcome.

We finally got inside and got a table, I sat between Peggy and Lynn with Julie and Trixie across from me but I was more to the middle of the table so I could almost talk with everyone which was nice. Of course, I had to get a couple pictures with a few of the girls and of course a selfie. We talked as people came in and we waited for the show. I was right there was a big crowd here tonight almost all the seats were taken. While we waited a man came over and talked with us, turned out he was one of the owners and again he welcomed us. Now I know being knew owners they are really excited and looking to grow their business but still a good feeling.

The waitress came and took our order and she was really nice, now again with new owners opening it up they have all new staff and this is only I think their 6 weekends so they are still working things out and we were used to the old staff who knew us and pretty much knew what we wanted so it is a learning curve on both sides but they did a really good job. She came back several times to check on us and made us feel welcome.

The show started and it was really good, all of the comedians were awesome, we all laughed so hard which made for a wonderful night. This really is one of the more fun events we do. Now we have a couple dinners the next few months but I am thinking we will get Harvey’s back into the schedule after the first of the year. Now the night went by way to fast as it really was an awesome show. Harvey’s is still a wonderful place to go for great comedy, if you are in Portland and want a fun night you must check them out. After the show we were standing by our table still talking as the crowd thinned out and yet another lady came up who worked here and said it was nice to see us here and thanked us for coming.

Now of course I have one other picture that I took with one of the other girls but I forgot to ask if I could post it so I cropped it down. I just loved the way my makeup looked in this picture and of course my smile. I always say a smile make you look better. An y way it was getting late and the girls started to leave. Melissa and I walked back to where we parked and it was a little colder out but still a nice walk. It was a great night out with friends. Thanks to all of you.

Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up on my what I am doing in my most recent blog.

November 5, 2017 Posted by | Harvey's Comedy Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Halloween 2017 one word, awesome

Halloween is here, I have always loved this holiday. Tonight, we are doing our groups Halloween Party and once again Cassandra and Peggy are wonderful enough to open their home and put on the party for all of us. Now I did take time Friday night to run out and look for a costume with no luck, they were pretty picked over and the one I found that said ex large well I sure don’t think it was. So, I gave up and decided to go with my Wonder Woman Costume. I really love this costume as it was the first female costume I ever bought. I dug it out and tried it on and well let’s just say Susan will be going on a diet. I couldn’t quite fit into it so on to my next choice which was my belly dancer costume. Good thing I checked as I needed to do my makeup different for the belly dancer. See I wear my black hair with this costume and for that I need darker makeup.

I spent almost 2 hours getting ready today as I wanted to take my time and enjoy myself. I was all ready by 5:20 and on my way. It takes between 45 minutes and an hour to get to Cassandra & Peggy’s house depending on traffic. Now the thing that went through my mind was what if I get a flat tire. I would look so cute alongside the road changing a tire in this costume. I got to their house a little after 6 and of course I had to get a couple pictures of my makeup before I went in, selfie time. I went in and only a couple people were there so far as the party doesn’t start till 7. Jan and Lynn were there along with Veronica so I got a chance to talk with them as Cassandra and Peggy were still upstairs getting ready. By the way the house looked awesome, Peggy always does such a wonderful job decorating and puts a lot of time and thought into it.

Peggy and Cassandra came down and it was time to start putting out the food so we all helped. One of the reasons I came early. Besides it was fun to be bringing food out in my costume. Peggy had cards everywhere with what dish went where, as I said she puts a lot of thought and effort into this party. The food was awesome and so much of it. It didn’t matter where you were in the house there was a table nearby with something on it, from candy, brownies, chips and dip, deli meat cheese and crackers to cooked food and shrimp. They had enough food for 100 people I bet.

Tereasa and Dan were the next to show up and of course I started to get pictures as I knew there would be some wonderful costumes. Of course, I had to get a few of me in my costume also. Yes, there is not much to this costume and as skimpy as it looks from the front there is even less in the back. Now more people started to show up as it was now after 7 and I knew we would have a good turnout. I was still trying to get pictures of everyone so I can post them to the group but as the evening went on it got harder to do in the crowd. I also kept my camera with me all the time tucked in top, last party I kept setting it down and then ended up leaving without it and having to go back. Melissa and her wife were next, they had great costumes and Melissa was hard to recognize as she had blonde hair tonight as she was Alice in Wonderland. Kate showed up next and she didn’t recognize me at first either, the black hair. It really is amazing how different hair style and color can change how you look. One more picture with my vail on which I could not wear for long. And of course, belly dancers are bare foot so tonight I was not as tall which was nice. Kate had a really cute costume also and talking with her I think she had a lot of fun out shopping for it as I think it was her first female costume.

Julie and Trixie also showed up dressed as nurses. They had really cute costumes also. There were lots of people here now and everyone was trying to get pictures. Pictures of the costumes, pictures of themselves and picture with other people. This is such a fun night to get pictures. So of course, I had to get one with Julie and Kate, oh and that is Roxy also. Chris and Roxy were also here which was nice as I have not seen them in a long while as I have not been able to get to Sweet Home on Friday night. We make such a cute group.

Cindy and her wife Alice were also here, Bobbie, Sophia, Kimberly, Bobbi, and Kim and so many more. If I miss you by name I am sorry. I got to talk with Bobbi for a while, she is doing wonderful and it was good to see her as it has been a long time. That is one of the great things about parties like this as so many people show up and you can work your way around the room and try to talk with everyone. Of course, in the main room the TV was on with the world series, some were just sitting and watching it and others like me would just cycle through the room enough to catch the score. By the way the Dodgers won and tied the series which mad Cassandra so happy.

There were also some new girls here tonight which was nice as we got a chance to meet them. Charlene and her wife were also here, they are not members of our group yet but I am hoping they will join. They don’t live in the area but travel through a few times each year. Charlene met me through this blog and contacted me and we have kept in touch so when she said she would be in town this weekend I told her she had to come to the party. It was great to see her again and talk with her. She doesn’t dress at home but when they travel she lives as Charlene all the time. Kind of like I do when I go to Diva Las Vegas although they have been traveling for a few months so she gets to be Charlene for a long longer stretch then I get to be Susan.

Now with all the food around I ate way too much which is easy to do as I didn’t get a plate full and eat. I was just nibbling as I walked around and yes way too much candy and Brownies. Peggy made the best brownies. It is way too easy to just keep eating when there is so much food all around and of course this girl has no will power. Michelle and Christy also showed up and I almost didn’t recognize them. It was so wonderful to see them again. Christy lives here in Portland but Michelle moved down to San Francisco several years back so it is always a treat to see them and they always have the best costume. Got to talk worth them some but not as much as I would have liked which was the same for most as people were moving around trying to see everyone’s costume and talk with everyone. Victoria and her girlfriend were also here and I got to talk to them just briefly, she is one of our newer members. As I said it was hard to talk with everyone and I didn’t get a chance to talk with some of the people as much as I wanted. Would have like to have talked with Kim, Chris, Roxy and Veronica more and a few others but the night went by so fast.

Okay I have to include one picture of the inside of the house and the decorations just to show how much effort and time Peggy put into this party. The whole house was decorated just as much as this room. Wow what a job getting ready.

Charlene and her wife left but it was great they could make it. I encouraged her to join our group so she will know where and when we are going places but she can always contact me directly also. Maybe next time we can get together at Starbucks. It is amazing how fast the night went by. Cassandra had prizes for best costumes, and a variety of other prizes which she paid for herself. Cassandra and Peggy put so much of themselves into this party, not just the cost but everything including cleaning up and taking all these wonderful decorations down. We really can’t thank them enough and I hope they know how much we all appreciate this.

Okay I have to share a cute story Peggy told me. She was getting her nails done today with the lady who always does her nails and asked her to do her makeup for the party which was awesome. Any way she got taking with her and told her about the party when she asked what her husband was going as. Peggy pause and then told her before she told her that she had something else to tell her first and with that she explained about the party for the Rose City T-girls, about Cassandra and the rest of us. Peggy said she was fine with it and of course that was most of the conversation while she was getting her nails and makeup done.

It was hard to leave but it was after 11:30 and I still had a 45-minute drive home. It took me another 10 to 15 minutes to go around and tell everyone goodbye and of course hugs for all. I think that is one of the things I love the most about being Susan, woman great each other with hugs and never think anything about it and I love that. I think the world would be so much better if everyone got hugs. It just makes you feel so good. I got out to my car and Victoria was just showing up so I got a hug from her and talked with her for a few minutes. She does transformations for t-girls so tonight was one of her busier night. It was nice to see her though before I left. The drive home was easy but I decided to stop at the gas station by my house. There were 3 other cars there, 2 men and 1 woman getting gas. So, I got out of my car and pumped my gas in my skimpy belly dancer outfit. It was 12:30 by the time I got home, what a wonderful night it was.

Thanks again Cassandra and Peggy you two are awesome. And thanks to all who showed up it was great to see all of you.

Thanks for reading and have a Happy Halloween.

You can also read my newest blog here to find out what is new in Susan life.

October 29, 2017 Posted by | halloween | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Relaxing Friday night out with friends

It is Friday night and yes, I am getting back into my routine of going out and I am loving it. I so missed it the last few months when I was not able to get out. Susan is a big part of me, not all of me but a big part and I am not complete without her. Any way Julie and I talked and we are going out to the Crush Bar again for dinner and conversation, I posted in our group and so we are hopeful maybe a few others will show up. We said we would be there by 7 so our plan is I will pick Julie up at 6:30 and we will ride over together as it really is not out of my way to pick her up and parking can be bad by Crush as it is a residential neighborhood, plus it is just more fun to go together.

Now I started getting ready just before 5 so it would be another rush getting ready as I wanted to leave by 6. Funny as my male self, I can roll out of bed, shower shave, brush my teeth and all the other things and be dressed and out the door in 20 minutes and any longer then that I wonder what went wrong. As Susan I figure an hour to an hour in a half and when I get ready in less than an hour I feel like something is wrong. Any way it is such an enjoyable time doing my makeup and getting ready. It was just before 6 when I was ready to go. Down to my garage, into my car and I was on my way. It is funny as I always use to look out my windows to see if anyone was out and make sure it was clear, now I just go.

I got to Julie’s about 6:15 and she had left the door unlocked for me so I just went in. Julie was almost ready so it was only a couple minutes and we were ready to leave, this is the one thing I would thing woman would love about dating a T-girl. We really know how long it takes to get ready, you would never hear us complaining about how long you take. We were on our way before 6:30 and we got to the Crush about 6:45 and we were lucky to find a parking spot only a block away this time. Now it was a cool and rainy evening although not raining right now. I chose to carry my sweater so people could see my dress, I am not a fan of coats as it covers up your pretty outfits so I only wear them when I must. It is funny I love the summer because I can go out and not have to coverup my outfits and everyone can see them but a few years ago I hated the summer and loved the winter as it got dark earlier, a few years back during the summer I wouldn’t even think about leaving my house till after 10 PM when it was dark and no one could see me, things have changed.

Now there was a good crowd here and we couldn’t find a table. Seems the back room was set up for a burlesque show so they weren’t letting anyone in there yet so everyone who came early for that was in the small front room. Julie and I did find a place to sit on the couch in the corner which was low to the floor and you sank into it so it was hard to sit like a lady with your knees higher then you but especially with heels on. Kate showed up shortly after we got there so she joined us. In a way it was nice as it gave us a chance to talk with the other people sitting around us. Julie started talking with a guy next to her and it turns out she is a t-girl also and had painted her nails. Her name is Renee and she is just starting out and is nervous about going out. Well this gave us a good chance to talk with her about our group the Rose city t-girls. She was amazed about our group and how many members we have and how often we go out. I am hopeful she will join as she seems really nice and I think she would benefit from the group and having people she can go out with and know where we will be so she is not going out by herself. I know that was the hardest part when I started. I did not want to be out by myself as Susan you know the safety in numbers thing. After a little while one of the tables opened and Julie could get to it before others took it so we had a place to sit and eat.

About this time Cassandra showed up, she had said she might make it, we also invited Renee to join us so the 5 of us sat around a table made for 4 and had a wonderful time. We ordered dinner and had enjoyable conversation. We talked about some of our upcoming events including our dinner cruise in December and our Mexican Crouse next October. Cassandra says we have 16 cabins booked now under our group and she has a few more that are really thinking of going. It would be so fun if we could have 30 or more t-girls on this cruise. We have probably 26 or more signed up now but some are wife’s girlfriend’s or significant others going. Our group really does do some wonderful things and we get so use to it being the normal thing that we really don’t recognize how lucky we are till we start telling someone new about what we do.

The show finally started and people moved back into that room and there was finally room to move around where we were. This is a nice palace and very friendly but the one drawback is it is small and busy on the weekends. Still worth coming here if you are looking for a safe friendly place to go. Another one of our group showed up so we had 5 of us from our group which was nice as this was kind of a last-minute choice. Julie and I knew we were going out but we didn’t pick Crush till Wednesday and announce it to the group till Thursday afternoon. Julie and I were the last to leave and again it was after 10:30 when we left, so much for just a dinner out but that is okay as it was a wonderful evening with great friends.

Saturday night Cassandra and some of the girls are going down to Salem to hang out with some of our members down there and it is a fun place to go but this week I just can’t as it is over an hour drive each way and with the weather and the fact I can’t stay out to late Saturday night I just want to stay someplace local. Julie and I are going to go out to dinner and I think Kate is going to join us. WE left it up to Julie to pick and make reservations and I am just going to pick her up and drive. Works out well for both of us. It will be a fun night just being out as Susan with Julie and Kate. Having great friends, I can go out with and be myself is so wonderful. I truly am a lucky girl to have found such awesome friends. Now next weekend is our big Halloween party and I still have not found time to go out and look for a costume so I may end up using one of my old costumes but either way it will just be the fact I am with my friends.

Thanks for reading and have a great day and a Happy Halloween next weekend.

October 21, 2017 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday our first full day in Las Vegas

It is Saturday and our first full day in Las Vegas, Diva Las Vegas doesn’t start till Sunday so we have the whole day to do whatever we want. We slept in till almost 9 as we were all tired and slept really well last night. We still hadn’t decided what we were going to do but I got ready as I needed to go downstairs and post my blog for Friday our trip down. As I noted the rooms are fine for what we need other than not having good light to do makeup. Now I really wanted to ware my red lipstick with my outfit for the day even though it is not a normal daytime color. I asked Cassandra if she was going with a red lipstick and she just replied, “when have I not worn red lipstick so it was settled red was the color of lipstick today. I got done with my makeup and decided I would ware one of my new Leggings the ones that I bought last week that comes midcalf. Well guess what, I did forget something. I left two of the 3 new leggings I bought at home. I am so sad. I had to go with the full-length leggings, still looks cute but not what I had planned on waring today.

By the time, I was ready Cassandra was almost ready and she also wanted to go downstairs with her computer and use their wi-fi so I waited for her. We figured we could do this while Veronica finished getting ready. In her words, she is not a morning person. Also, we got a call from Teresa, she is also coming to Diva Las Vegas Monday till Friday so we will have one more of our group here for the week.

We left the hotel a little after noon and headed for Planet Hollywood as we wanted to get tickets for a show at 4 pm. On the way, we were driving down Las Vegas Boulevard we saw the gold and silver pawn store where they film the Pawn Stars TV show which I love watching. We had to stop and go in. Now the people you see on the TV show were not there today which I really didn’t think we would meet them. But it was more to just say I was here and of course we got some pictures including this one with the stores logo on the floor. It was fun but the sad part is people who don’t know about Susan I can’t show the pictures too. Cassandra and Veronica each bought something here I just couldn’t find something I wanted. We spent probably here and even got a picture with the girl who we talked to about the TV show, she was really nice, I think her name was Cortney. As we were getting ready to leave a lady came over and asked if she could get a picture with us and of course I said yes so Cassandra and I got a picture with her. She either had a big group with her or others took the opportunity to get a picture of us as there were at least 5 cell phones taking pictures. Neither Cassandra or I thought to get one with our phones though.

We left there about 1 and continued to Planet Hollywood, we took back street to avoid traffic which didn’t work as it turns out there was a shooting on the Las Vegas Boulevard by the Cosmopolitan. It took us till almost 3 to get there, busy day here as there was also a robbery at the Bellagio next door overnight. Wow a lot of excitement here today. We got to Planet Hollywood and walked through the mall to the casino as Cassandra and I forgot our player’s cards for Caesars. If you come to Las Vegas and do any gambling take advantage of the player’s cards. You will get discount offers for future visits and also get rewards you can use for dinners. We got our cards and then walked back to the box office to heat tickets for the show. There was a long line and Cassandra asked the guy behind the desk about tickets for the show today and he said they were already sold out. That was disappointing so we looked for something to eat.

We ended up at Panda Express in the mall. We wanted something quick and not too big or expensive as we just needed something. After dinner, we decided to go back to our hotel as the casino here was really busy and they only had a few Blackjack tables that were $15 and the rest were $25. On the way, back through the mall to where we parked we saw this photo booth where they take your face picture and put it on the face. Well Cassandra and I both tried it and well you guessed it we both walked away with a picture of us on the cover of Playboy. I will scan it in when I get home and put it in a future blog. She really did a nice job softening my face and making it look feminine.

We went back to our hotel casino and played some Blackjack for a while, I was up and down and finally we took a break. I was up $5. We walked over to Binions Casino and Cassandra and I wanted to get pictures with the Million dollars. There was a group of girls in line in front of us celebrating a bridal party and they had us come up with them and be in their picture also, after that Cassandra and I took a picture with just the two of us which I will also have to post later when I can scan it in.

We walked over to the Fremont Hotel casino which is a sister property of where we are staying. It is smaller and not as many tables so Cassandra sat down at a $25 table to play and she did well for a while. Well she gave Veronica and I each a $25 chip to play and told us if we won we owed her the chip back. I sat down and put in $100 of my own money just so I could say I played. I won the first hand and gave her the $25 chip back and kept playing. At one point, I had over $300 and I should have quit. The table turned cold and before I knew it I was down to $122 so I quit. We walked back to our hotel and played a little while longer, it was a fun evening and again I was up and down. It was about 2 am when I called it a night. I lost $17 here so my final total for the day was I won $11. I am not going to get rich at this rate but I am having fun.

I got back to my room and finished this blog and will add the pictures in the morning and upload it.

Thanks for reading.

March 26, 2017 Posted by | Diva Las Vegas 2017, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cristine celebration of life

Tonight Saturday February  11, 2017 our group is having a celebration of life for our dear friend Cristine who passed away on February 2 2017. She has been one of our groups longest and supportive members over the last 10 years. It will be hard but we want tonight to be a celebration for her. Cassandra and Peggy are hosting it at their home which so wonderful of them, thanks so much.

Now the celebration is from 7 to 11 but I was going to get there early to see if I can help Peggy and Cassandra set up. Now I started getting ready early so I could be on my way by 5. I got there just about 6 Peggy was finishing up getting everything out and Cassandra and Veronica were all ready. Now I am not even going to try and name everyone here tonight as we had over 30 show up to remember and celebrate Cristine life. NO I did walk around and 20170211_190449take pictures as I wanted to make sure and get a picture of everyone who was there, I did miss several people though so hopefully Cassandra got the as she was also taking pictures. I set my phone on a shelf in the dining room so I could get it easy when I saw new people come in. Now I did manage to get one selfie of myself.

Now by 7 there were a lot of people who had showed up but people would be coming all evening long, some came early and left and others later it was really wonderful to see so many friends here and even some of Bobbie’s family showed up t support him which was wonderful.

Now the food that Peggy and Cassandra had was wonderful, all finger type food, chips, dips, meat balls and of course wonderful cupcakes and brownies. It was awesome and of course I did eat more than I should have especially the desserts. Yes I have a weakness for sweets.

Now Cassandra had a bunch of pictures of Cristine on her TV, 100’s of pictures of her and of course pictures of her with us her family. In a way it was like she was with us all night long. I kept finding myself watching the pictures of her and there were a few time I got a little choked up but we didn’t want this to be a sad event.

I did get to talk with everyone here at one point or another so it was a good night. Even got to meet a few new girls that Victoria brought out. One of them Michelle will be going to Diva Las Vegas, her first time so I will see her again there. By the way we booked our rooms for Diva Las Vegas, we will be staying at the California Hotel Casino in Downtown Las Vegas, it is one of the Boyd Gaming casinos. They have 3 hotel casinos downtown. One of the things if you go to Las Vegas get a players card if you gamble as you do get some good comps. There were lots of Pictures of Cristine when we were in Las Vegas in years past for Diva Las Vegas. We really did share some wonderful times over the years, so many wonderful memories. Even though she is gone from this world she will always be with us in our hears and memories.

By 11 people were leaving and we were down to a smaller group about 15 and we were standing in the kitchen talking about all the wonderful times we had with her. I had planed on leaving at 11 but I just couldn’t bring myself to leave. I really wanted to be with my friends tonight. It will make for a short night but it is worth it. We talked for over an hour. I was looking through the pictures from last night and decided to try and list everyone I can that was there, Veronica, Bambi, Kris, Cassie, Kim, Peggy, Cassandra, Cindy and her wife Alice, Teresa, Laura M, Laura H, Lisa, Bobbie, his Sister and Partner, brother and his wife, A couple of his friends, Chris, Roxy, Melissa, Sophie and her wife Lorna, Barb, Kate, Michelle, Jan, Lynn, Marla and her girlfriend, Jamie and her girlfriend, Amber, Shadow, Victoria and a couple of t-girls she brought out for the night, and I am sure I have missed some. Thanks to all who showed up tonight, Cristine would have loved it.

It was 12:15 when I called it a night, I have a 45 minute drive home so it will be about 1 am when I get home which is the latest I have been up in a long time. On the drive home I had a chance to reflect on the evening, I was thinking about the times I had been out with Cristine and even though it would be late when I got home I was going to post the pictures of the night on our groups Facebook page. it is funny as I was about half way home when I was thinking about the pictures when I realized I had left my phone with all the pictures on the shelf at the party so I had to turn around and head back and hope Cassandra was still up. That is the one bad thing about cell phones as if you lose the or just leave them someplace you are really cut off. I couldn’t even call and let them know I was on my way back.

It was about 12:50 when I got back and luckily Cassandra and Veronica were still up cleaning the kitchen of course Cassandra had cleaned up and was back to her male self. I didn’t stay long just enough to get my phone. I was so glad they were still up and I didn’t have to wake them up to get my phone. This is the first time I have left my phone someplace, not a good feeling. Needless to say it was after 1:30 am when I got home so it really was a late night. The pictures will have to wait till Sunday now as I needed to get to bed.

Thanks to Cassandra and Peggy for hosting such a wonderful event and opening their home to us all. and also for all those who showed up for Cristine.

February 12, 2017 Posted by | Party, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night out with my friends and the loss of Carol one of our sisters

Well again it has been another long week for my male side but I think things will begin to slow down a little now. Now the week has had some sad news as one of our group members Carol passed away the end of August, we found out from her daughter who posted it to our group from Carol’s e-mail account. Now as sad as the news was we are all glad her daughter reached out to us as too many times we in the trans community lose touch with friends we have made and never really know what happened to them as we all tend to be very secretive even with the friends we have made and I know I am no exception. I have some friends that I consider some of my best friends and yet they really know very little about me. I guess what I am saying is we should all have a few really close friends / family that we can share all of ourselves with.

Any way as I said her daughter reached out to our group and we are thankful for that. Carol was a good friend, she didn’t get out much with the group as she lived over an hour away from Portland but she was still part of our family and like all families some you see all the time and some only at holidays or special events but they are still family and loved. Now I from the e-mail her daughter sent Carol’s children were a little shocked when they were going through her stuff and came across Carol and the pictures and I can only imagine how hard that was for them. The one thing she did say was Carol looked so happy in her pictures and they were grateful that she had friends she could share this part of her life with. Their biggest regret was that Carol never shared this part of her life with them as they would have love to get to know her. It would be so awesome if her daughter who contacted us or even any of her children could come out one night with us and meet Carol’s family the Rose City T-Girls. I was trying to think and I think the last time I saw Carol was in May she had come out with the group and we both walked across the street to Walgreens as we both needed lipstick, turns out red was both of our favorite color of lipstick, something I will remember in part to my blog form that night. Carol will be missed deeply.

I think as we get older we think more about our own mortality and what will happen. I know I have thought about what my family would think going through my house and what all they would find, Makeup, dresses, wigs, heels and all the picture of Susan, would they be shocked, disgusted, ashamed, okay with it. I hope that just like Carol’s children I would hope that in the pictures and my blog they could see how happy I am and what awesome friends I have made as Susan and that would be what they remember.

Well we have a lot going on this weekend for our group so I was not sure how many would be out tonight. Actually Cassandra was the only one there when I showed up but it wasn’t long and Cristine and Bobby arrived but that would be it for a while. We also knew that the Karaoke group would not be there as I think he were all doing a renaissance fair this weekend so it would be a slower night. Well it was after 9 before others started to show up from our group. Melissa, Mikaela, Victoria and Diane.

It was great to see Diane again and what a great surprise. She actually lies on the East Coast and get to Portland every couple months. She had just been to SCC (Southern Comfort Conference) which is probably the biggest Transgender event in the world and is held in early September. I have never been to this as the time, distance and cost have never worked out for me. Actually the only transgender event I have been to is Diva Las Vegas which is in the spring so easier for me to go plus this event is more of a vacation than an event or conference. This one is so much fun as what better place than Las Vegas. A few others I know of is Esprit which is usually in early May in Port Angeles Washington in the beautiful Northwest and Pink Fest which is in Chicago in October so there are events all around if you are looking for a place to express your feminine self. Anyway it was great to see Diane and catch up with her.

I also got a good chance to talk with Mikaela, she has really come a long way since she came out last May, she has told several of her co-workers and also any Girl she goes out with. Wow even now I could not be that open about myself, you go girl. Well of course we had to get a picture of us. She had this really cute wig blonde on top with black underneath plus she had these really awesome heels. We talked for a bit and she is going to Harvey’s with the group Saturday night which is always fun. I will miss it as I am golfing again. It really is amazing as we will have 16 to 20 for Harvey’s and 7 of us golfing which means we could almost 30 of us out on a Saturday night, yes we are golfing at night they have what they call glow ball where you golf with glow in the dark balls in the dark. I guess they do have glow sticks to mark the fairway and greens and also on the flag but it will be so much fun. 4 of us are actually golfing 18 holes in the afternoon and then also that night so it will be a long day for Susan. I can remember a few years back if we could get 5 t 7 out to a Trans Club we were doing great.

Well I also got to talk with Melissa for a bit. Turns out she was already to leave her apartment but 2 of her neighbors were right outside talking and pretty much blocking her doorway. Now we have all been there I can remember watching out my window all dressed up just waiting for my neighbors to go back inside. Once I waited for over an hour and you do feel like you are trapped. Well Melissa finally just walked out and said hi to them and kept going which took a lot of courage as know they know about Melissa but it will make it easier in the future. Well Melissa took Mikaela and me outside to show us her new car, it was very nice but I told her she should have gotten a pink car. I wonder if you could buy a hot pink car.

Anyway it was a fun night, but as I was really tired didn’t sleep well last night I only made it till midnight. It is unusual for me to leave earlier than the rest but I Susan needed some beauty sleep. Well we did get one group picture before I left. Cristine got cut in half, than Susan, Mikaela, Melissa, & Cassandra. What a fun night

September 14, 2013 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Awesome Wednesday night meeting with our Attorney

Well it has been an awesome afternoon and evening. It started about 4 when Cassandra sent out a text that the Judge had issued his decision in our case against the P-Club and Chris Penner for discriminating against our group by kicking us out of his club. Our Attorney Sue-Del McCulloch wanted to meet with us at Fox & Hound tonight and tell us what she could. Now I had not planned on going out tonight but there was no way I was going to miss this. I actually started getting ready as soon as I got the text.

I got to Fox & Hound by 6:15 and Cassandra, Chris, Kim and Victoria were already there. I guess we were all excited to hear what Sue-Del had to say even though she wouldn’t be here till 7:30 to 8 pm. Well it wasn’t long and Kelly, Christine, Mellissa and Sarah showed up. Actually tonight was Sarah’s first night out with the group as she just joined our group a couple days ago. It was awesome to meet her and such an exciting night to be out. Petra, Jan, Lynn and a few others even showed up, I think we had maybe 15 of us there by 7.

We were all waiting for Sue-Del and we knew it was good news as she had told Cassandra that much. Well Sue-Del showed up about 8 and we all couldn’t wait. Now she couldn’t go into a lot of details as the Judge’s decision won’t be made public till Friday 8-30-2013 when it is released to the media which is also the reason this blog will be posted a little later than normal. It is kind of symbolic that the judge released his decision on our discrimination suit on the 50 year anniversary of the walk on Washington and the day Martin Luther King Jr. gave his speech “I have a dream”. Any way Sue-Del told us that the Judge supported found that Chris Penner had in fact discriminated against us and violated our rights under state law.

We are all thrilled with the verdict and actually very surprised at how fast all this has happened. I can remember when we sat together at the Rainbow room on July 11 2012 (thank god for my blog) and talked about if we should go and meet with Beth Allen our first attorney. She had seen the YouTube video Cassandra had posted of Chris Penner telling us not to come back because we were transgender. Here we are a little over 13 months later with a ruling in our favor. I think most of us thought it would take a year or so just to investigate and then a year or more to work its way through the system. Beth Allen started our case but as she was appointed to be a Judge in February she got us in touch with Sue-Del who agreed to take over our case and we as a group were truly blessed to have had two such incredible, supportive attorneys to help us we can never thank them enough.

Now we all realize that this is not over as Chris Penner will almost for sure appeal the decision and we all expected this and in a way I think in a way we are excited about him appealing it. We look at it this way, several years back I think in 2007 the state of Oregon past a law protecting transgender people from discrimination. Actually the law basically says that transgender people have the rights of the gender they present as. Now we all know that laws can be passed but it can always be challenged in court. Well this law has and it stood up which is great for all transgender people and not just in Oregon as many States and cities have passed similar laws and now there has been a Judge that upheld it. Now this was an administrative hearing and Judge so having it go on to the State appeals court and getting them to support the law and uphold transgender rights would be huge. We really have a long road ahead and I think it will be at least 2 to 5 more years to go through the appeals process. The best thing is that this will send a message to all businesses that if they do discriminate against Transgender people they will be held accountable and will face huge legal action.

I am truly proud to be a part of this and such a wonderful group here in Oregon. There were 13 of us that were able to step up and make a stand and many more in our group that for one reason or another were unable to but were always there supporting us, it truly was a team effort and I hope all of the members are proud of this wonderful group or should I say family of people.

I really want to Thank the following people and let them know how much they have helped us and what an impact they have made on our lives and all transgender people.

Beth Allen our first Attorney

Sue-Del McCulough our current attorney

Brad Avakian the commissioner of BOLI

Chet Nakada the hearing presenter for BOLI

Jen also a hearing presenter from BOLI

You all are awesome people.

Couple more links Here is an video interview and story.

Well Friday night I will once again be out with my friends and we will be celebrating so it will be an awesome night. I am really looking forward to it as I am sure many others in our group will be as it will be our first chance to talk after this is made public and release to the media. None of us know what the future holds for us but I know for me this experience will be one of the highlights of my life.

August 30, 2013 Posted by | Fox & Hound, P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Interesting Wednesday afternoon for Susan at an Attorney’s office

Well Wednesday July 25th 2012 was a really interesting Wednesday for Susan and for reasons you will read I had to put off making this blog. First I will start with a little background. As you all know from reading my blog our group was asked not to come back to the P-Club by the owner Chris Penner, he actually called Cassandra and left two different voice mails for her about it. Well so all the group could hear what he said she posted it on her YouTube page. Well she also sent the link to this page to the State Attorney Generals office along with a couple local attorneys never really thinking anything about it.

Well one of the attorney’s Beth Allen contacted Cassandra and wanted her to call her and talk to her about it which Cassandra did; she got a free half our phone interview. From this interview Beth Allen believed the Chris Penner violated the law as well as our right under discrimination laws and offered to represent us on contingency. She wanted to meet with Cassandra and a few others that were there on a regular basis. Cassandra said she would talk to a few that were there every week and get back to her. Any way Cassandra met with me, Victoria, Chris and Cristine on Wednesday July 11 at the Rainbow Room to get our opinions and to talk about if we should go forward or not and what kind of issues we might have. We all talked for over an hour and most of the discussion was on reasons we shouldn’t and what might happen or go wrong, mainly being outed for us and possibly members of the group as our group is the main concern. After all the discussion the group came to the conclusion what Chris Penner did was wrong and to keep this from happening at other places we may wish to go we needed to at least meet with Beth Allen and talk with her face to face and get our questions answered so Cassandra set up a meeting with the 5 of us and her on August 1 at her office. Mind you we still had not said yes or no we just had questions that needed being answered and all of us were in total agreement.

Now Beth Allen contacted the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries also known as BOLI to get some information on this and how to proceed. BOLI is the state agency who investigates among other things civil rights violations. Now normally how it works is you file a complaint with BOLI and they investigate, if they find that you have a valid complaint they will file the complaint for the persons making the claim in that persons name. Any way from the information they got from Beth’s questions and the YouTube video they contacted Beth Allen and asked to meet with her and the 5 of us on Wednesday July 25th at 3 pm so Beth contacted Cassandra and asked to move our meeting up one week. So this is how we got to my interesting Wednesday afternoon, going downtown Portland in at 2 pm as Susan to meet with an Attorney and a representative for BOLI.

Now this was going to be a fast day as I got off work at 12 and it takes me ½ hour to get home and I need ½ hour to get back downtown Portland to Beth Allen’s office and that is if there is no traffic issues which left little time to get ready so I laid all my stuff out the night before. Turns out traffic was light and I was home by 12:30 and all ready to leave by 1:15 which I think is a personal record for Susan getting ready, shower, shave, makeup, cloths, jewelry and nails and I still looked pretty. Well I drove downtown and only hit a little traffic but easily made it. There is a parking garage about a block away. Now walking downtown on a nice warm day is really nice and there were so many people out. I met Chris out front of the office building about 1:45 and could see Cassandra and Cristine walk up the street so we waited for them and all went inside together. Pretty good timing so far. When the elevator opened we found Victoria who had parked in the garage under the building riding up so all 5 of us went up together. Peggy Cassandra’s wife was already in the office waiting for us.

We met with Beth Allen and her law clerk for about an hour and got to ask all kinds of questions and she told us a little about BOLI and how they wanted to proceed. Our biggest question about privacy for our group members and possibilities of being outed in public were answered and Beth assured us that was not an issue. Only those willing to be involved in the case and giving their names would be involved and the rest of the group would not be involved at all. With our questions answered we were all feeling better about this. Now it was almost 3 and we were already to meet with the representative of BOLI and answer their questions.

Now it was not one representative from BOLI but 4, an Administrator and 3 investigators so now the 6 of us were in an office with Beth Allen, her law clerk and 4 state officials from BOLI. Now to the funny part, they really didn’t have a lot of questions for us but rather told us what they wanted to do. Seems they have already started checking into Chris Penner and the P-Club. Turns out the Commissioner of BOLI feels pretty strong about this case, so much so that he wants to file the complaint in his name, he would be the plaintiff and we would be secondary, basically witnesses. Turns out the voice mail he left where he singled out us as tyranny’s they feel is incredibly strong evidence. They are actually ready to start the process all they need is a few of us which is different then what we thought. They are coming to us.

Anyway we talked with them for over an hour and a half again asking a lot of the same questions we asked Beth as I said our group is the main concern and we want to protect it above all else. Again they told us the same thing; it would only be those who were willing to be witnesses and be involved in the case, everyone else in the group would not be involved in any way.

Now mind you the goal we all have is to tell Chris Penner and any other business out there that they cannot discriminate against transgender people, be it transsexuals, t-girls, or crossdressers. Now we realize BOLI can and will probably place a fine on him as in anything you get people’s attention when you hit them in the pocket book. We are not out to bankrupt him or put him out of business as we really do like the employee’s there as they treated us so great for the two years we went there. But like I said this type of action against transgender people cannot be tolerated so we all decided as a group we should go forward. With that all that was left were to sign onto the complaint.

Now Victoria and Cristine are full time and have legally changed their name so they were the first to Sign. Chris who is a supporter of the transgender community and most of those who know him know this also signed. Cassandra also signed, she is not out publicly as far as both sides of her. I also signed but asked that my male name be left out unless absolutely necessary as I still have kept both sides separate. Now I know that even doing it this way there is a good chance I could be outed but I feel this is worth it as discrimination is wrong in any sense and I guess I am ready to stand up.

None of us knows what will happen but we are sure that there will be media coverage as these types of cases get played up in the news plus in a way that is the point. If this does not get out to the public so they know that they cannot discriminate then this is all for nothing as I said that is our goal. For Transgender people to be able to go where they want, work where they want and not be afraid of being discriminated against.

We also agreed to have Beth Allen represent us in this as our attorney which she is doing totally on contingency. It will cost us nothing. She feels that BOLI along with fines will probably ask for attorney fees to be paid, but even so she is taking this on realizing she may get nothing off of the case. That is how strong she feels about this. Turns out she does a lot of GBLT cases in Oregon and is a big supporter of this cause. From talking to her and meeting her I would highly recommend Beth Allen if you need an attorney.

It was about 4:45 when we were all done. The people from BOLI thanked us and said they would be in touch with Beth to help write the complaint and keep us up to date on the case. Seems this is the first of this type of case in Oregon. Hard to believe that just 4 or 5 years ago I was too scared to really go out of my house and now I am involved in something this big. I am still a little scared about the future and being outed but not nearly as much as I would have thought.

Well from here we all went over to Fox & Hound which I already blogged about.

This was a little longer than my normal blog but felt it needed to be to make sure I got it just right. Thanks for reading and of course I will update as I can.

August 8, 2012 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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