Saturday Night at Harvey’s Comedy club

Well I went out on Saturday night with the girls from my group Rose_City_T-Grils. Cassandra got tickets to Harvey’s Comedy club and it is always fun so I managed to trade to get off work so I could go.

We started off by meeting at Oasisba Asian Fusion & Bar (1639 NW Glisan), I have never been there but some of the girls have been. They remodeled a few weeks ago and put a small stage in. the waitresses are transgender and also perform on the stage. Phaedra one of the Drag queens who use to work at Embers works here now, she is also a member of our group so she invited us. We met there at 6 pm which is early for me but somehow I made it by 6. Phaedra greeted me as I came in and we put some tables together as I was not sure how many would make it. As it turned out we had 9 that showed up. Victoria, Petra, Cassandra, Peggy, Teresa, Wilma, Mira, Roxy and I were all there and we sat with Phaedra’s mom as she was in town to visit her daughter. Some had dinner the rest of us just some drinks. Now I am not a big fan of spicy food so I chose not to eat here but don’t let that be how you judge them. Several of the girls said the food was really really good so if you do like Asian food please give them a try. The atmosphere is really nice and they have a big mirror on the back wall so you can watch the show no matter which way you are facing. In all it was a nice place to go for dinner and a show.

From here we went down to Casey’s which is a small bar just around the corner from Embers. The plan was to meet here at 7:30 as the second stop on our night out. When we got here Jan, Lyn, Cristine and Barb were there and our group was almost complete. Now I have been here once before and it has a nice atmosphere but is mainly a bar, they do have a pool table and I think they do have some food but not sure as we didn’t eat here. A few of the girls did play some pool but most of us just talked. We stayed here till a little after 9 and then we all walked the 8 blocks down to Harvey’s. A little chilly but fun to see a group of us walking down the street.

We got to Harvey’s and got our tickets and went in to the bar to wait till the doors open for the 10 PM show. We only had to wait about 15 minutes till they started seating us for the show. They had a good crowd so we couldn’t all go in at the same time. Cristine was the first one in and told them we had a group of 16 so they got us 4 tables together which was nice as being in one big group is always more fun. Wendy and Nadine showed up to meet us at Harvey’s, Wendy was in boy mode and took me a minute to realize who she was of course if she had been with her wife Nadine when I first saw her I would have know instantly. So we actually had 15 for the show and wow I am so proud of myself, as I remembered everyone by name so I guess I am getting better at putting faces to names.

Now Harvey’s is pretty nice but there prices are a little high but then again you are getting a really good show so I guess it is not that bad. I was a little hungry so Barb and I split an order of chicken tenders, as I said a little bit pricey but was really good. The main Comedian was Dante and he had to opening acts, one of which was his girlfriend. The shows were really good and Dante was probably the best which makes sense as he was the headliner. He was also the comedian the first time we went there last winter so of course some of the jokes we had heard before. If you have never seen his show at the end he does some impersonations and they are awesome. I would highly recommend going to his show if you get the chance and as for Harvey’s a really nice place to go for good entertainment. After the show Cassandra and Wilma talked with Dante for a bit and on the way out his girlfriend talked to me and a couple others. They were very nice and thanked us for coming which was really nice.

As we left for our walk back there was two girls and a guy outside and one of the girls wanted to get a picture with me and of course Susan never turns down a photo opt so we posed while her friend took a couple pictures and of course I had to dig out my camera so I could have a picture. She thanked me for taking a picture with her. I have posted the picture as it has been awhile sense I posted a new picture. Not a really great one as my flash didn’t work, low batteries but still a new picture.

The walk back was a lot chillier then the walk there as it was after midnight when the show ended but still a fun night. We got back and all said our goodbyes. I gave Roxy a ride to her car as she had some new shoes, 4″ heels and after the 8 blocks back to Casey and then 2 more to where Cassandra and I had parked she still had 5 more blocks and we didn’t want her walking downtown by herself at that time of night, not a good idea for anyone, male or female. It was a really fun night.

A big thanks to Cassandra for getting the tickets.

Friday night @ P-club talk should you tell your spouse.

Well another fun Friday night out with my friends. This week we all went to the P-club formerly known as Portsmouth. They changed their name and menu to try to bring in more business. They still have good food but I liked their pizza and especially their cheesy bread better. As for business they did seem busier then they have been in the past although can’t say for sure if it was the name change and new menu, only time will tell on that. I got there about 7:40 and Cassandra, Wilma, Michele and Steph were already there and had a couple tables over by the pool tables so I joined them. So nice to go out and know your friends will be there. By 8 Cristine and Chris had shown up and that was it for our group, one of our smaller turnouts, not sure why although Saturday night 16 of us are going to Harvey’s comedy club again for their show so maybe some decided to go out on Saturday night instead. I got lucky and was able to call in a favor and get someone to cover me for Saturday night so I will also go out and enjoy the comedy club which is always fun. Although we didn’t have a big turnout it was nice as it made it easier to chat with everyone in the group and we could all join in on one conversation.

I got a chance to talk a little with Steph, she is new to the group joined about 6 months ago and this was her first time out with the group although she has gone out before on her own. She seemed really nice and I hope she continues to come out and join us. Her only hold back is her wife does not know so she can’t get out as often as she would like. We played some pool and I won a game against Cassandra, well she scratched on the 8 ball but it still counts as a win. My next game against Michele I lost but came close to winning. We did have fun but didn’t play as much pool as normal instead we had some good conversation you know girl talk and what could be more fun. Some of the conversation was pretty involved from politics to Dinosaurs to outer space and UFO; I know not what you would expect us to talk about but still fun. Probably the most interesting conversation was around how some of the girls told their partners and if and when you should tell so I thought I would give my thoughts on this.

Now just so everyone knows I am not married but hope to some day and I did come close a couple times, so please keep in mind I have never truly faced telling a spouse. Now for me my dressing was not the reason I broke up with anyone and although I never told any of the woman I dated I did hint at it to gage how they might react as for me I would have to tell the woman I was going to marry beforehand. Of course that is what I know and believe now as I know I will never stop being Susan part time, she is part of me and what make me who I am.

Now some of the girls in the group have come out to their wives and as you would expect some went really well and others did not and ended in divorce which is sad but something you must be aware of if you plan on telling your spouse. There are also those who never tell their spouses, we have a few girls in our group that only come out when their wives are out of town and this works for them. I guess the big question is how much of a part of your life is being a t-girl. For me a couple years ago going out 3 to 4 times a year and dressing around the house when I could was fine and I was happy. Now the time I dress at home is nice but nothing like going out and twice a week works wonderful for me, for one it breaks up my week and helps relax me and gives me something to really look forward to which I believe is healthy for a person. Everyone has their own needs and has to decide if and when they want to tell their souse and I guess the biggest factor would be how much this impacts your spouse. Now for me what I feel would be right for my life is this and remember this is my opinion only and how it applies to me.

When I was younger I thought if I met that right person I would stop being Susan, now I know that won’t happen. For a brief while I thought I would just hide it and only dress occasionally but Susan is too big a part of my life to do that so I would feel I have to tell them before. But when, before the marriage, engagement or early on in dating. Well I guess as time has passed for me it has gotten earlier in the relationship. Now right now I am not seeing anyone so it is easy for me to say this. For me I would think early in my relationship would be best, not as soon as I meet the person but once you feel there could be something more permanent between me and her. That is when I think (would want to) tell her if I didn’t chicken out. The reason for me are these, do I want to put the effort and work into a relationship (relaitionionships take a lot of work if they are going to last) on to find at some point something I hid ended it, seems like a waste of time. Also for me Susan would have an impact on any woman I might be involved with as Susan is as much a part of my life and who I am as my male self and I know that will always be so just hiding her in the closet would not work for me. so right now not being involved with anyone I think I would tell them as soon as I felt we were getting to be more than just friends, easy to say right now.

The last reason is the biggest and that is fear of this part of my life getting out. Now it is true once you tell someone you have no control over who finds out, but early on in the relationship I think would be better. First you are being honest and open and the woman I am seeing would not have that deep involvement yet so there wouldn’t be the hurt feelings as much as if you wait till later. Now don’t get me wrong she will either hate this part of which I am, tolerate it or maybe hopefully like it but whatever the outcome I think earlier is better. Early in the relationship she can decide if she can live with this part of me or walk away. Once you get deep into the relationship or even get married she may feel trapped or that if you lied about this else have you lied about and if there is a break up she is way more likely to tell people about this part of my life. Early in relationships that end most people don’t even bother with the question why and usually the answer is “well it just wasn’t right or we needed different things”. On the other hand in divorces everyone usually plays the blame game as you have friends together you are trying to keep, maybe children and of course the money and property so if you can blame the other person and make yourself look the best that is what you do. I really believe in this situation anyone would tell as the goal is make the other person look bad.

So I guess for me my best hope would be meet a woman while I am out as Susan that way she knows from the start but I realize this probably won’t happen and with that said Right know I plan on telling any woman I might date as soon as I feel we may have something long term. I would love to hear from others and see what their thoughts are and how you have dealt with this in your life as it might give me a better understanding on marriage as I have never been married yet. Would also love input from any genetic woman out there as you are the ones who really hold the key to understanding this issue for me.

Have a wonderful weekend all. One last thing, someone found the link to the t-girl group I belong to and joined from my blog which is wonderful so I thought I would put the link again Rose_City_T-Girls in case anyone else would like to join. Please check it out and read the membership requirements as there are not many but they are enforced.

Wednesday 10-13-10 at Starbucks

Well it is Wednesday and of course I am out at my Favorite Starbuck’s. It is that time of year now that it is getting colder at night so of course now Susan has to take her little jacket with her when she goes out. I really need to get me a nice winter coat for Susan this year.

Well onto the big thing on my mind, Halloween. It is just 18 days away and I still have no costume or even an idea of what I want to be. I also am getting busy again at work and will probably miss next Wednesday and the last Friday of the month as I traded that night to get Saturday night the 30 off to go to a party at Cassandra and Peggy’s house. They go all out for these parties and ask nothing in return. I will of course bring some snacks like a veggie tray or something and maybe something to drink plus give me a good excuse to go into a store in my costume that is if I can come up with something. I know I could dress up as a girl, wait I already do that so not such a good idea. Well still have some time.

It is strange thinking back a few years when all I could think about was Halloween as it was a chance to be Susan and go out, now I go out so much as Susan that I really want a cute costume and not just dressing up feminine. My how things have changed for Susan. So I guess I will pose a question to those of you who read my blog. For those who are in the gender community do you dress up in costumes or just use Halloween as an excuse to go out in you female (or male for t-guys)? For years Halloween was Susan’s biggest night of the year and now it is the nights I get out with all my friends so in that way Halloween has lost a little of the fun for me, don’t get me wrong it is still probably my favorite holiday but the reasons have changed. Any way would love to hear what your thoughts are on Halloween plus if you have any ideas for costumes please feel free to post them.

Well back to my night here, Starbucks has been pretty steady and most of the tables have people at them. It still amazes me how busy they are especially with all the coffee shops around. There are so many and I admit I drive by probably 6 other Starbucks to get to this one. I know what you are thinking why drive so far, well at first I wanted to go away from where I lived as I really didn’t want to run into anyone I know, which by the way I have here twice now but they didn’t notice me or at least didn’t say anything about it to me. But more than that is the fact that the girls who work at this one are all so awesome and treat me really well right down to remembering what I like to drink. Maybe I should order something different sometime just to throw them off, you know change it up a little. Now to be honest every Starbucks I have gone to I have been treated well and just like any other customer but as I have come here so many times over the last year and know most of the girls (not by name) but still there is a comfortable safe feeling here and that really means a lot. There has been a lot of talk lately in my group here (Rose_City_T-Girl) about places to go where we feel safe or wanted. Seems there were some other issues at the Candlelight, I guess some threats were made against us by a couple of the customers and even a bottle thrown at one of our group. I didn’t know about this and it has made our whole group rethink going there. Now I am the first to stand up and say we shouldn’t be chased off but when it comes to personal safety one must really think about the benefit to reward and is it worth it. There are so many places we can go where we are accepted and even wanted. The bad thing is the Candlelight was a fun place to go and we always had fun there. Any way enough about that.

I guess I should also give a pitch for our T-girl group, Rose_City_T-Girls. It is such a fun group and really has some awesome members. If you are transgender (Crossdresser, t-girl, transsexual, the significant other or just an admirer of transgender) and live in the Portland/Vancouver metro area of Oregon or travel here you are welcome to join. The only rule is you must have a face picture either on a yahoo profile (yahoo group) or be willing to send in a picture to post in the group photo which is only viewable by members if privacy is a concern. Now I am not sure of the total makeup of the group right now as we now have 168 members but ruff guess would be 10 to 15 significant others, 10 admirers and maybe 5 just friends of members and the rest transgender in one way or another. Feel free to check out the main page (all you can see without being a member) the main page tells you about the group and more information on joining. The group has helped so many to come out more including me. 3 years ago I was lucky to get out 4 or 5 times a year and was always nervous and now it is twice a week and I feel pretty relaxed most of the time. Having a support group is awesome. If you don’t live in the area see if there is a group where you live as it really will make a difference, if not why mot start one where you live. Our group was started by Cassandra 3 years ago as a way to bring t-girls together and have a way to know when and where others would be out so you didn’t have to worry about going out and being by yourself. What a simple and wonderful idea she had and we all are so grateful she did this.

Well I need to catch up on some other things here before they close for the night. I hope you all have a great week and thanks so much for reading my blog.