Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Wednesday night dinner at Outback Steak House

Well it is Wednesday and we are having our weekly dinner at Outback Steak House on Barns Road. We have gone here several times. Now I had e-mailed everyone about it and I would make reservations Tuesday evening so I had 8 of us so Tuesday evening I called and set up reservations for 9 as one girl had told me she was a maybe but wouldn’t know till the last minute and unfortunately, she couldn’t make it this week. Now luckily Outback was not busy Wednesday night as when I got up Wednesday morning, I had a message from 10:50 Tuesday night for 2 more for dinner so I figured after lunch I would call them and see if I could ad to the reservation. Well I also got another message a little after noon Wednesday wanting to add 3 more which would bring our total to 13. Well any way Outback called me to confirm the reservation and I told them yes but wanted to change it to 13, the lady told me that was fine but we might have just a little wait then which was fine.

I got home from work just before 5 and started getting ready as I wanted to be to Julie’s by 6 so we could talk a little before leaving. I did a quick job about 40 minutes in all to get ready and I did a purple eye shadow tonight with a bright red lipstick as I really wanted to wear my red sweater dress. It is really cute and comfortable and perfect on the cooler fall nights. Yes, the last 2 pictures it looks a little orange but that was the lighting in the restaurant it really is red like the first pictures. I got to Julie’s just a couple minutes before 6 so we had time t relax and talk for a little bit. Julie will leave to go south for the winter next week so this will be our last time riding together for a while and I will really miss that. It was about 6:15 when we left as my GPS was telling me 35 minutes to get there. I really love GPS, I use it pretty much every place I go and it is amazing how accurate it is, I left work today and it told me I would get home at 4:54 (1 hour and 12 minutes) I pulled into my drive at 4:55, it missed it by 1 minute.

We had a nice drive to Outback talking the whole time and yes, we got there about 6:50 and went in. we ran into Jennifer as we were walking in and Cassandra followed us in. it was funny as I went in and gave them my name and they said our table was all ready and showed us to it. we all sat down and I saw the girls taking off their masks and realized I left mine in the car but we were seated so it was okay. Now we had to wait for the others to show up and yes, all 13 made it tonight. We had me, Julie, Jennifer, Cassandra, Trish, Alicia, Madison, Claire, Joan, Patty, Christa and her wife and daughter. Now it was a big group and I did sit in the middle of the tables but still hard to talk with the people on the ends. This is the classic 2 sides of the coin. I love seeing girls get out and having big groups but as far as socializing I think 6 is the perfect number give or take 2. We all talked for a little while. It was great to see Joan out again as she does not get out with the group much and Alicia, I met at Starbucks last week so this was her first time meeting the group and same for Madison as they are not members but hope they will join.

Well we all ordered our dinners and yes, I got a nice steak as they have really good steaks here. Now I talked with Cassandra as we were seated next to each other and yes, it is about Diva Las Vegas. Cassandra changed her reservations so she is leaving Saturday morning but going over to central Oregon to see family before she leaves so, I will be driving down this year by myself which I have done before, my reservation is still for Monday check in. Now I could not get good rates this year as they did not Cary any of my points over because we had to cancel last year do to COVID so my 8 nights are a little over $1,000. The other thing is Cassandra may have to come home early because of work although I am still debating about leaving early also. The Halloween weekend Friday and Saturday nights) with resort fees and taxes are $535 of my bill, if I leave on Friday and don’t stay the weekend by bill for just the first 4 nights would be about $350 but I got time to think about that.

Our waitress was awesome by the way and what is funny is the waiter we have had the last several times stopped by our table to say hi also. Our food came and it was really good as always. If you like a good steak, I would highly recommend Outback, excellent food at reasonable prices, yes $25 to $40 depending on what you want but there are a lot of places out there that the same would be $5 to $100 and I don’t think they are any better. Again my personal opinion for what it is worth. We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation. Our waitress brought our bills and separated everyone out. some of us sat here till after 9 just talking. It was sad to see the night end. I talked with Claire and she is going to try and see if there is interest in a dinner next Wednesday but the problem is Julie, Jennifer and I will all be gone so it may be a smaller turn out.

Julie and I had a nice drive back to her house and talked all the way, I know we will both miss riding together and talking. I dropped her off for the last time till next year some time. Now I am looking forward to getting my nails done on Friday and then going to Las Vegas, I can’t wait but I really am most excited about getting my nails done.

Be safe and be happy with who you are and thanks for following my blog.

October 23, 2021 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting

Well it is another Monday night and that means we will have our weekly zoom meeting. I got home and had plenty of time so I took my time and enjoyed getting ready. I was all ready by 6:30 so I had time to relax and watch a little TV, I did get a few pictures but as it was dark outside and the LED lights just make the pictures look washed out so none good enough to post tonight.

I started the meeting just before 7 and girls started signing on. Tonight we had 12, Jennifer, Melissa, Danika, Danielle, Nicole, Jan & Lynn, Christa, Emily, Trish, Tori and me. It was great to see everyone and catch up. We did talk a little abut Diva Las Vegas which is 1 week away now, Jennifer and I are both looking forward to it and getting our nails done. I will get my nails done Friday night on my way home and Jennifer will get hers done on Sunday. I think next time maybe we should go together. We also talked about next weeks zoom meeting as I will be I Las Vegas and not able to host the meeting Melissa will be running it so we can keep it going.

It was about 8 when we got to Jennifer’s weekly question. The question was how many wigs doe we have and how many do we actually wear. Now there are lots of thoughts on wigs, and you can spend from $30 to several thousand dollars and again the views I express are mine and mine alone and is not the only right choice. I do have a few wigs I spent $200 to $300 on and I love them but I tend to go for the lower price ones $30 to $50. I view them s being disposable. Some girls have them re styled me I just buy a new one. The key though is find one that fits you and is comfortable to wear. The other thing you may be wondering is spending that much on a wig is it worth it and that is all up to you. I know a lot of woman that go get their natural styled every couple weeks and also getting it cut and colored and can spend $40 to $200 each time so my advice is not to think what others think or feel but decide for yourself. I will spend $40 to $50 + tip to get my nails done for a week and then another $25 to $40 to have them removed when I get home and for me it is worth every penny. We all have things that is important to us, life is short so be happy.

Well back t the question, seems most of the girls have 6 to 10 and 2 or 3 that their wear and some when they find a wig, they like they but extra’s as with so many things you find you like they quit making them. Even a few of the girls who have grown their natural hair out have kept some of their wigs. Now me I actually like wigs as I can change up my hair style and color very easily and if you follow my blog, you can see some of the different looks. Yes, I have my favorite but I have maybe 4 I wear the most and a few others less frequently and a few I never really wear, in all I have 14 different wigs, by the way if you see one you think looks really good on me or even t so good feel free to let me know. There are time I love the way I look in each of them and also tines not so much depending on my makeup, outfit and lighting.

Well it was about 8 :45 when girls started to sign off and by a little after 9 it was down to just Jan and I and we ended up talking till almost 10pm before we signed off. It was a wonderful evening. Now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Outback Steak house and yes getting my nails done on Friday night and my trip to Diva Las Vegas.

Be happy with who you are and be true to yourself. Thanks for reding my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

October 22, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday Susan time and yes laundry.

Well it is Saturday and I get to spend the afternoon and evening as Susan. but first last night on the way home from work I stopped and got a pedicure; bright red polish and it looks great. The lady doing my pedicure asked if I also wanted a manicure so I took the opportunity and told her that would be next Friday. I was

there about an hour and so enjoyed it. before I left, I set up my appointment for next Friday and told them I wanted a full set of acrylics. Yes, I got a few pictures of my pretty toes.

Saturday, I got up and had my monthly work zoom meeting which lasted till about 10:30 then I went out and did a little yard work I needed to do. It was about noon when I started getting ready as Susan but first was to put a load of laundry in, yes, I am going to wash everything I am taking to Las Vegas so they are all fresh and clean. While the wash ran, I did

my makeup and got ready, it was perfect timing as when I finished getting ready, I had 1 minute left on the wash, wash cycle is 1 ½ hours. I hung up my clothes to dry, yes Susan’s clothes do not go in the dryer. I put the next load in and figured I could run down to the Starbucks right by my house, it is ¼ mile away so really close. I figured I could sit outside and enjoy the sunny day for 1 ½ hours and then run home really quick and hang start my next load, I have them 4 loads I want to do.

I got to the Starbucks by my house and went in and the one lady greeted me by name. they were actually really busy inside, 3 people by themselves, one big group of 6 young people and then several couples but no one sitting outside so that is where I sat, yes, I brought my long sweater which I found going through my stuff to wash. It is about 65 out and sunny but still a little on the cool side as their tables are on the shady side of the building. Now I had only been sitting here a few minutes when a man came up to the table next to me, partially in the sun and asked if he could have the other chair at my table and I said yes. Now it was fun sitting out front here and watching the people walk by and yes, the cars, I did see several cars go by with people I know as I am really close to my house. Now while I was her Julie called me to see what I was doing and if I was planning on going out tonight so we decided to get together and have dinner. She will call me when she is ready and I will pick her up. Now as I sat here 2 women walked up and went in, now they had masks on so I am not sure but I think one might have been trans. Well when they came out the one, I thought might be trans handed me a card and yes, she was trans, her name is Alicia. Well they sat down with me and we started talking. It was interesting and the first time I have ran into another Transgender person at Starbucks. Well another lady came over who new them so now there were 4 of us sitting out front talking.

We talked for a while and it was very enjoyable. As we talked a man walked up with a mask on, it turned out to be Nicole, she was in the traveling through the area and I am thinking she stopped at Goodwill and saw me sitting out front and came over to say hi which was so nice. She only stayed a few minutes but it was great to see her again. Hopefully she can make it down for dinner again soon. Well I talked more with Alicia and her wife who I later found out is also a trans women and the other lady with them her boyfriend likes to dress up and she is okay. Well we ended up sitting there and talking till 4:30 before they had to leave. I stayed a few minutes longer before heading home to take care of my laundry. It was about 4:50 and I was waiting for Julie to call me so about dinner so I decided to go to the Starbucks in Orchards as that is about halfway to Julies house and I need to charge up my computer and I figured I could get a start on this blog. It was about 5:50 when I left to go pick Julie up.

I got to Julie’s about 6:15 and we talked for a little bit before we left. We were going out to dinner and Julie thought there was a Chinese restaurant down on NW 21st av. We used to go to House of Louie till they closed. We drove downtown talking the whole way, it was so nice. Well we didn’t find one but we were close to Swagat which has Indian cuisine so I parked and we walked back the 2 blocks to get some food. We have gone here several times and they have good food. Julie and got a table and sat down for a quiet dinner and wonderful conversation. It was such a great idea Julie had about going out to dinner. Now the sad part is we will have another Wednesday night dinner this Wednesday at Outback steak house and then I will be in Las Vegas and when I get back Julie will have gone south for the winter, I will really miss our riding together. After dinner we sat and talked till a little after 9. Thanks for taking me out for dinner.

We walked back to the car and I drove Julie home and we talked all the way. It really was an enjoyable evening. I dropped Julie off and drove home, now I am looking forward to our Zoom meeting and our Wednesday night dinner and yes next weeks trip to Diva Las Vegas.

Be safe and thanks for reading my blog.


 

October 19, 2021 Posted by | Dinner out, Starbucks | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Wednesday night dinner at Who Song & Larry

Well it is another Wednesday and I get to have dinner with my friends. We are going to Who Song & Larry in Vancouver. I called last night and made reservations for 12 and today when they called to confirm my reservation, I changed it to 14 yes, we have a big group tonight including 4 wives/significant others. Now I got home little early and as it is in Vancouver, I am not picking Julie up we are just going to meet there as it is kind of in the middle between us. Any way I had plenty of time to get ready tonight. I was all ready before 6 so I finished off my blog from Monday nights zoom meeting and posted it. It was about 6:15 when I left for Who Song & Larry’s.

I got to Who Songs and Larry by 6:30, yes, I actually like getting here early and sitting in the bar. I parked and started in and saw Lynn coming across the parking lot so I waited for her. we went in and I checked in and it turns out they were getting our table ready already. Jennifer and her wife showed up right after us and by that time our tables was ready so we were shown to our table. Now our waiter came over and yes, I ordered their cheese & been dip which is awesome, I could make a meal out of it, by the way they give you house made chips and salsa for free. Now girls started showing up and by 7 almost all of us were there but we kept talking instead of ordering to wait for the rest. Tonight we would have 13 total, yes one got held up at work and couldn’t make it. So we had Jennifer & Mary Anne, Cassandra & Peggy, Jan & Lynn, Julie & Trixie, Claire, Barb, Sherri, Karen and me. It was great to see so many but it was hard to talk with everyone even though I sat towards the middle of the table.

Now it was a fun night and we all ordered our dinner and yes, I got the same thing I always get. Now I did try to talk with everyone but with such a big group it was hard and I mostly talked to those right around me. Now there were a few other group here 3 to 6 people but really, they were not real busy tonight. Now we did talk about Diva Las Vegas which is less than 2 weeks away. Jennifer and I talked a little about getting our nails done for the trip, yes, we are both getting acrylic nails although I think mine might be a little longer than hers. I know she is going to love getting the done. I also talked with Cassandra, she is still planning on going and us driving down together but there is still a small chance she may have to cancel do to work related issues but we are staying positive. Claire and I talked a little and she is really interested but just can’t make this one work but I really thinking about the spring. We had a nice dinner and then sat and talked till about 9 before paying our bills and yes, our waiter got them all correctly split out which with a big group like this was amazing.

Now as we got ready to leave, we all stood together for maybe 10 minutes by the table so we could all talk together.it was great to get to talk with Karen for a few minutes which was nice as I haven’t seen her for a while as it is hard for her to make the dinners. Also got to talk to Sheri, this is only her second dinner with us and her second time going out. she actually drove over this afternoon from Eastern Oregon and got a motel for the night so she could join us, how awesome is that. Now here is the funny thing she is staying at a motel just off the highway maybe a mile from here, nothing fancy but clean but it is a 1 story motel and you can park right outside your doors it is easy to get to your car. Now that is not the funny part what is funny is years ago before I was really going out other than just late-night drives, this was the same motel I picked for a weekend so I could get my first set of acrylic nails. Now for me this was back in the late 90’s so probably 25 years ago. Makes me wonder how many other trans people have stayed here for the same reason.

Well after about 10 minutes standing by the table talking, we left and walked out and of course the staff we passed either thanked us for coming or asked us to come back again. They have always treated us awesome here and I really want to support them as I know a lot of restaurants are struggling. Now we may have to wait till after Christmas as the Christmas ships start on December 3 and they will be really busy then as it is a great place to watch them so if we don’t come back here before then we probably won’t get in at least with a big group.

Outside we all said our goodbyes for the night which is always sad and walked to our cars. It only took me less then 15 minutes to get home and washed away Susan for the night. now I am looking forward to this weekend and some Susan time and yes, I do have some plans. Friday night on my way home from work I am going to stop and get a pedicure at Julies Nails for Las Vegas which will be really fun. The other thing I want to do is some laundry, yes, I am going to start getting ready for Las Vegas and that means I will be washing some of my clothes to freshen them up for the trip.

Stay safe and be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me and be sure and read my most recent blogs to see what is new in my life.

October 16, 2021 Posted by | Dinner out, who song & larry | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting on Columbus Day

Happy Columbus Day

It is Monday (Columbus Day) and although where I work does not recognize it as a Holiday I do. Any way I had to work but being a holiday traffic was not bad so I actually got home earlier than normal so I had plenty of time to get ready today so I took my time. Now tonight I tried a little different look specifically my eyebrows, I tried a thinner brow arch and was pretty happy with it, still trying to figure out the best look for me. I was all ready by 5:45 so I had lots of time before our meeting started. I did get some pictures and then finished up my blog from Sunday and posted it online.

I started the meeting at 7 and girls started to log on, tonight we would have 11 of us, Jennifer, Melissa, Nicole, Christa, Jan, Lynn, Danielle, Jeannie, Emily, Tori and me. Now as normal we spent a little time catching up which was nice but we got to Jennifer’s question early as it was a really good one although it was really for those who are transitioning and living full time. now being October 11 it is not only Columbus Say but also national coming out day and that was what the question was about. It was about coming out to people and how many times? Now for most of us that don’t transition we may never come out to anyone or if we do it is usually very limited, maybe a spouse or family member but for those who do go full time and live as their true self it usually means coming out over and over again as you have to tell everyone and it is not something you can do one time. Now I have never come out to anyone although one of my neighbors found out and I admitted to it.

I had never really thought about it but yes if you do come out you may be doing many times of a long tine as you really can’t get everyone all together at one time and then there are the tings you don’t think about, drivers license, social security, doctors office, dentist, passport, bank accounts and so many more. Now some will be easier at least emotionally then others but most likely there will be sone you know that you will lose. I have often thought about what it would be like usually my co-workers and although I don’t know how they would take it but from what I know of them I think 60 to 70 % wouldn’t care either way. The rest would probably be divided between those that would have a problem with it and those that would think it was great.

Now it was interesting to hear what the others had to say and it usually starts with coming out to family and friends and then work and yes it seems to be as hard each time as everyone is different and you have to deal with each one separate and I realize I would approach telling my family different then work. This would be a hard thing to do but from listening to them they came to a point they could no longer not do it. The stress on them before they came out was way more then the stress of telling people and yes, they did lose some people in their lives but most say it was over all positive and worth it for them. Again I have not done this so I really only imagine what they went through.

The follow up question was what is the one thing most people ask about this and it really came down to 2, first for those who are married of in a relationship was what was going to happen to the relationship and how was the other person handling it. ow again I have no firsthand knowledge on this but at least in our group it seems the spouses and partners are okay and even supportive and I think when that happens it really helps the rest of the family be okay with it.

The other question is are you gay when you transition (or even present as female) most people believe you are then attracted to men, they confuse gender with sexual preference. Now I am not saying that for some there is the attraction to men but again my opinion from what I have observed I would say 60% are still just attracted to woman. The rest will either be attracted to both or maybe just men and that is all okay, be who you are. Now what I have noticed personally as I have had this question many times is some even when you tell them can’t understand it or just don’t believe it. yes, I present a lot as female and when I do part of that is taking on the roll of being female. That being said I am not at al attracted to men, part of my being Susan is to present as what I find attractive, I try to remove all my body hair as I find nothing attractive about hair on the body or face. Now I have had this conversation with people and I have had those that almost argue with me that I am wrong and I am attracted to men. Gender expressing and being the gender you are and who you are sexually attracted to are 2 different things.

The last question that was asked and I really haven’t had this question really and that was about your body specifically, surgical status and what body parts you have or don’t have and I was shocked that this would even be a question asked as I personally would never think of asking that. Please don’t ask that question, a person’s medical treatments and what they have done with their body is their choice alone, be respectful. Now some girl will talk about it and tell you and that is also fine but it is their choice to tell you or talk about it. mow my opinion and again this is my view only, if you see me out and are really interested and not trying to be rude you can ask me anything. Now I may tell you I am not comfortable answering a question (usually personal stuff like where I live or work) but other than that I will try to answer your questions as I feel or think and again it is just y views and may or may not be how other feel or think. We are all different and feel different or view things different and that is fine.

We actually spent most of the night talking about these questions and yes, we had a lot of similar thoughts and some differences. It was about 8:30 when girls started signing off and a little before 9, we were down to just 4 of us so we ended the meeting for the night. It was a really good night. now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Who Song and Larry’s.

Be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 13, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday and a typical Fall Day for Susan on Columbus Day weekend.

Happy Columbus Day Weekend

Well it is Sunday of Columbus Day weekend and a typical Fall Day, overcast with intermittent showers and windy and the leaves are blowing off the tree. It really is a beautiful time of year and my male self loves this Susan not so wild about the wind. By the way if you are wondering about the orange font, I am using it is because it is fall and Halloween is coming. Now I had some stuff to do so once again it was about 1pm when I started getting ready as Susan. now I have no plans so I took my time getting ready, it is such a relaxing time doing my makeup and transforming myself to Susan. I tried a different eyebrow look a little more straight then arched and a raisin-colored lipstick. As I was looking for something to wear, I came across another casual dress I had forgotten about so that was my choice for the day.

It was a little before 3 when I was already, now I had parked in my driveway and it was really raining at this point so I got a few pictures as I waited for the rain to let up. It is funny as years ago I would wait for none of my neighbors to be out before leaving my garage and now my car is in the driveway and I am waiting on the rain. I only had to wait a few minutes till it slowed down unlike years ago when I could wait an hour or more for all my neighbors to go inside. I quickly walked out to my car and was on my way, yes, I figured I would just go to Starbucks and work on Yesterday’s blog.

It only took a few minutes to get to Starbucks and it had stopped raining but was still windy out and no one was sitting outside and there were quiet a few cars in the parking lot. I walked in and they were busy, the 4 big tables down the middle were all taken by groups of 3 or 4, 2 sitting at the counter along the front window, an older couple at the back table and 2 young girls in the big chairs in the corner and the 6 small tables along the window where I like to sit only 1 was open, it is probably the busiest I have seen it here at least in a long time. now there were 2 people waiting for their order and 2 in line to order so I didn’t take a chance and set my computer on the one table and then went and stood in line to order. Now it looked like most or the young people were doing schoolwork and the older ones just socializing. I got my drink and sat down to work on my computer. Now the bad thing is the wind was blowing in such a way that every time the front door opened you could feel it blow in. now it is more fun here when it is busy as I enjoy being around other people even if just sitting there on my computer.

Now around 5 some of the people left so it was more like normal. It was nice though as I could watch the trees blowing in the wind and the rain come down through the windows. There is something about watching the rain that is calming. Now I did text Cassandra to see how she was doing and I ended up calling her and we talked for a while, I did step outside one the side of the building away from the wind as I don’t like to be on my phone in public, I think it is rude to the people around, again my feeling and not picking on anyone who does that. We talked for a little bit about our upcoming trip and it turns out there is a small chance Cassandra will have to cancel her trip which would be sad, she has a lot going on right now and I know how that goes so there is a slim chance I will be driving to Las Vegas by myself which I have done once before. Now time wise I can make it work as I could leave on Sunday and drive to Reno before going on to Las Vegas the trip hoe would be a little harder as we leave Las Vegas on Tuesday and I have Wednesday off but that is the day I will have my acrylic nails removed so I would have to make sure I got back to Vancouver early enough for that. But I may come back on Friday though and skip the Halloween weekend as it would save me more than half on my hotel cost. Well enough of that I am going to stay positive that Cassandra will make be able to go. If all goes right 2 weeks from tonight, I will be at Cassandra’s house so we can leave early Monday morning.

Now I stayed here till about 6pm when the sky started getting really dark and it looked like it was really going to rain. I decided to just hit McDonalds on the way home in hopes of beating the rain. I went through the drive through and got my food and was about halfway home when it started to poor down rain, I actually had to slow down on the drive home. I got

home and ate dinner and then tried to get a few pictures of my outfit for the day, I have a hard time getting a good picture like this. I spent the rest of the night just watching TV till bedtime.

Now I am looing forward to Monday nights zoom meeting and Wednesday nights dinner. Next weekend I will be picking out what outfits I want to take to

Las Vegas and getting ready.

Stay safe and be happy, thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life

October 12, 2021 Posted by | Susan Time | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Saturday Susan time

Now it is a Holiday weekend as Monday is Columbus Day, I have to work but I still want to wish everyone a Happy Holiday as I know some people get it off.

It is Saturday and yes, I get to spend most of the day as Susan, I did have a few things to do early in the day so I didn’t start getting ready till about 12:30, now I did take my time as I wanted to relax and enjoy my time getting ready, I also wanted to try a new eye look makeup look. I watch a lot of videos on makeup great way to learn and one that caught my eye was a smokey look with blacks and grey. Now I had to fudge a little as my grey was darker so I used my silver on the inner corner of my eye, black on the outer corner and the darker grey above all that faded out to the eyebrow. In all I was happy with the look as I usually can’t get the black shadow to blend right. It was about 2pm when I was already so I got a few pictures and then I was off walking out my front door to my car as I needed to do some grocery shopping and that means a trip to Walmart.

I got to Walmart and went in and got a cart, yes, I have a few more things to get today, I spent about 30 minutes here shopping, yes, I probably could have done it faster, my male self would have but I was just enjoying being out as Susan. I paid for my groceries and then drove back home. I once again parked in the driveway and took 2 trips bringing in my stuff to put away. It may sound silly but doing things like this helps make Susan feel a real part of who I am. For many years Susan was just in the house and then just a special night out to an LGBQ bar and even our Wednesday night dinners which I truly love but it is a special outing with other transgender people. There is just something about doing something so common and everyday type things like grocery shopping that is special to me and I can’t explain it any better than that.

It was almost 3:30 now and I still had the rest of the day and as it is supposed to rain tomorrow, I did want to go put flowers on my parents grave, this has also become a Susan thing. I never shared this side of me with them when they were alive but some how this seems right. Of course that would mean a stop at the Fred Meyers at Johnson Creek to get the flowers. I grabbed my computer and walked out to my car to leave, as I pulled out of my driveway the neighbor man was out working in his driveway. He waved at me so I waved back and drove off, now it is his wife who knows about me so I am 99.99% sure he does also. I got there just before 4 and went in and got a couple small bouquets and paid for them and was on my way. I got to the cemetery a little after 4 and there were 3 other groups well couples in the same section, I was going to visiting their loved ones. Now I didn’t have to walk past any of them but there was one couple probably 100 feet from where I was going but I really didn’t care. I went and put the flowers on their grave and spent about 20 minutes here, probably should have brought a coat as it was just a little chilly out. I did get a couple pictures as I always do, again this is another one of those everyday type things people do. It really is hard to believe it has been 4 months since my mom passed away and a little over 3 years for my dad. It does get easier but I still think about them every day and that may be my Susan side. Now as I walked back to my car I went by another section and there were 3 deer out there eating the flowers off the grave sites so I don’t think my flowers will last to long. I did get a few pictures with the deer in the background, they are hard to see but one was smaller and may have been a younger deer as it stayed pretty close to the one deer.

I left here and decided to stop at the Starbucks in Orchards on my way home and write my blog from Wednesday nights dinner. I am really trying to get caught up on my blogs. I got there just before 5 and went in. there was one man sitting at a table and 2 ladies waiting for there drinks but really this one is not busy inside as it has a drive through. Now as I said it was a little chilly at the Cemetery so I got a hot chocolate and sat down to work on my blog. Well I got thinking about how I have grown as Susan and the wonderful friends I have made over the years so I sent out a few e-mails to people I have not herd from in a while. One was Alice she really was my first friend as I met her one of the first few times I went out and we exchanged e-mail addresses so she would always e-mail me when she came to town and I would meet her at Embers, she really did help me become more comfortable going out. now she was also older than me by quite a bit and the reason I am telling this is her e-mail bounced back as undeliverable as the account has been closed and this was my only way to contact her, it just makes me wonder. Here is a blog from 2008 when I was out with Alice with a picture of us. I wrote my blog and just played on the internet for a while. It was about 7 when I left Starbucks.

I went home to make dinner yes it will be a late one so just making something light, a little salad and a bratwurst and some corn as I didn’t want fast food. The rest of the night I will just watch TV till bedtime as I look forward till tomorrow. Now on a side note Diva Las Vegas is 2 weeks away, as a matter of fact 2 weeks from today I will have my acrylic nails for my Vegas trip and I am so looking forward to it.

Be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.





 

October 11, 2021 Posted by | crossdress, Starbucks, Susan Time | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wednesday night dinner at Screen Door

Well it is another Wednesday night, the first one of October and I once again get to go to dinner with my friends. Tonight we are going to the Screen Door on NW Couch Street in the Pearl District of Portland which is just a block away from the Deschutes Brewery we went to last week. Now I do have to be to work early tomorrow which means getting up a little before 4 am so I thought about skipping tonight but I just couldn’t as I wanted to see my friends and especially Julie as she will go south for the winter here in a few week. I told Julie I would be to her house around 6pm so again it would be a rush getting ready as I got home just before 5 tonight so it was straight into the bathroom to start getting ready. now it does make it easier as on the way home I decided what dress I would wear, my ankle boots, the earrings I wanted and how I was going to do my makeup and that always speeds up the process of getting ready. It was a little after 5:30pm when I walked out my front door to my car. Now there was a little more traffic tonight so I got to Julies just a couple minutes after 6pm and got a quick picture in my car before going inside, Julie leaves the door open for me incase she is still getting ready. Julie was just finishing so we had a chance to sit and talk for about 1 minutes before we had to leave. I really enjoy this time together. 20 years ago I was just trying to get out of the house and now I go visit with my friends and go out to dinner with them and yes in a few weeks will travel to Las Vegas and live full time as Susan for 12 days, I have come a long way and it really is because of Julie, Cassandra, Jan & Lynn, Alice and so many other wonderful friends I have made. It was about 6:20pm when we left for the restaurant.

Traffic was light and Julie and I spent the drive talking, it really does make the going out so much more fun going with someone. We got downtown and yes, the parking gods were with me and I found a spot about a block away, it was only 6:50pm sow we were right on time and just like last week Barb parked not far from us and walked to the restaurant with us. Now we had 9 of us going tonight. We got inside and Danika and Jeanie were already at the table so we joined them. It wasn’t long and the rest of the girls showed up. After our meal Jennifer had our waiter take our picture and sent it to us and everyone said I could post it so her it is and again from left to right is Claire, Jennifer, Danika, Julie, Jan, Lynn, me, Jeanie and Barb.

Now our waiter came and took our order and we had another first tonight, it turns out our waiter was a trans man and he was awesome. Now I ordered their Fried Chicken dinner $20 which I thought was a little high but I did not realize how much food there was. It was really good and I ate more then I should of and yes still didn’t eat it all. It came with 2 really big pieces of boneless chicken and mashed potatoes and I subbed mac and cheese for the collard greens and I had ½ of one of the pieces left and really should have stopped after the first piece. I really think if you had a salad or small appetizer this would have been more then enough for 2 people. I think we all took some home well almost, I got a to go container and then forgot it on the table. I would highly recommend this place as the food is good, staff is friendly and atmosphere is great.

We had a wonderful dinner and great conversation and yes as I sat towards the middle of the table, I was able to talk with everyone pretty much. The night went by so fast and after dinner we sat and talked for a bit. It was a little after 9 when we paid our bills and left and again, we did stand outside for a few minutes and talk. Now Jan and Lynn came by Max tonight, Lynn got off work and drove over to the Gateway transit center and parked and road down and Jan had her sun drop her off at Delta Park and they met down at 3rd and Davis and walked the 11 blocks up. Now the funny thing is Lynn and on some really cute ankle boots with heels and the walk up did her in, yes, they were new and we have all been there so I offered to drive them back to the max stop so they didn’t have to walk all that way this late at night. the only bad thing is I have also been giving Claire rides home as she also walks as she lives about 9 blocks from her and I didn’t have room for her. again it is so wonderful to be out as Susan and be able to do this. When I first went out, I didn’t want anyone to see what car I was in as I knew they would run my license plate and figure out who I was.

The 4 of us got in my car and I drove them down to the max stop and let them off and then drove Julie home and again we had a wonderful conversation on the way. We got to Julies just before 10 and I dropped her off, I will really miss picking her up and her going out with us this winter, maybe she can join our Monday zoom meetings so we can see each other that way. It really is amazing how many close and wonderful friends I have made as Susan and what a big part of my life and who I am they are. Now I had the drive home. I got home about 10:30 and washed away my makeup and got ready for bed, it was just before 11 when I went to bed so I will get maybe 5 hours of sleep tonight well not really as I said earlier, I ate way too much and yes it is hard for me to sleep when I am that full, the only bad thing about the Wednesday night dinners is eating so late but it is still worth it to spend time with my friends.

Now I am looking forward to the weekend and spending Saturday and Sunday afternoon as Susan. No big plans just some Susan time. Stay safe and be happy with who you are and thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 10, 2021 Posted by | Dinner out | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Monday night zoom meeting

It is Monday and another zoom meeting tonight. I got home late but still had time to do my makeup and enjoy my time getting ready. Yes, this is my me time and I find it so relaxing especially after a busy day. Now I did a purple eye shadow look and my red lipstick and yes, I wore one of my older wigs with a more reddish color. I was all ready by 6:45 so I had time to get a few pictures before our meeting.

I started the meeting at 7 and ladies were logging on right away. Tonight we would have 14 of us, Jennifer, Nicole, Melissa, Jeanie, Danika, Jan, Lynn, Emily, Christa, Trish, Danielle, Driel, Tori and me, yes Jennifer’s daughter in-law joined us again tonight. Jennifer came out to her family over a year ago and she and her son has joined us before both online and once at a Wednesday night dinner. It was so nice to see so many girls long on. We talked for a while and just caught up on what was new in everyone’s life. We did talk a little about Diva Las Vegas which is only 3 weeks away and also about shoes and shoe sizes. Now I am a women’s size 10 to 11 depending on the width of the shoes. We do have some girls who are a size 9 and then all the way up to a size 15. It was a nice evening and a littler after 8 Jennifer asked her question and again it was a good one and I thought I could remember it but almost a week later writing my blog I forgot. I will have to make sure I write them all down.

It was about 8:30 when girls started to sign off and by 9, we ended the meeting. It is always sad to see it come to an end but now I am looking forward to Wednesday night’s dinner.

Be happy with who you are, Thanks for reading my blog.

October 9, 2021 Posted by | zoom | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sunday Susan time and some thoughts on being female

It is a quiet Sunday as Susan and so I thought I would give some of my thoughts and views on Crossdressing and being transgender. Now again I will give my disclaimer as this is only my view and how I feel this in no way is how everyone feels or thinks. I get some comments and e-mails sometime from my blog and some are pretty good, by the way if you leave I can look and see your e-mail which I as a rule don’t do as I feel your privacy is just as important but every once in a while I will get a comment where they don’t want their comment public but just want to ask a question and that is the case in this one. I have been e-mailing one girl about going out and passing and she doesn’t think she passes well enough to go out so I thought I would share some of what I have told her and again this is just how I feel about this. If you read my blog from yesterday when I took my drive to the coast, I had a lot of time to think about this.

First it does not matter if you are fully transitioning or crossdressing part time at home you are Transgender, anyone who explores or expresses the opposite gender fits this category. Now I am not transiting or plan to but my female side is a real and an important part of who I am. When I am Susan, I take on the role of being female (no this is not about sex or sexual attraction) but who I am and how I act and interact with others. Now those who fully transition will talk about gender dysphoria and for a long time I thought this was just something they went through but I came to realize we all feel that on some level. If I can’t express this side of me, I get stressed out and irritable and I have trouble sleeping as when I go to bed, I find myself thinking about dressing and when I will be able to. Now I am not saying it is the same as those who transition fully but it is a range of the feeling.

Now I will address passing in public and I may draw fire for this but again my views, we don’t pass. Now the vast majority of us will never pass 100% of the time, now there are a few that do really well and usually they transitioned and a young age. Now I am not say people look at them and say they are transgender but if they spend enough time around us, they will notice little things and then another and eventually there will be enough that they will wonder. I work with a lady, a Cis women who is really tall and I have had people ask if she is trans and there have been a few times people have actually asked her and she is never happy when that happens. Now for me when we talk passing it is all about how people react to me. I go out a lot and I am the first to tell you I don’t pass. Maybe sitting down in a dark bar from a distance but if they talk to me or get a close look at me, they will know. But even if they know and treat me as a female, address me as her/she to me that is passing as I am out being accepted as a female. I go to Starbucks all the time and I know they I am not female but they always treat me like any other female and that is passing.

Now with having to wear masks it is a little easier to pass now but it does take a lot of the fun away from going out. Now the biggest thing you can do when you are out is smile, it makes you look better, more friendly and puts people at ease and most people will smile back. The other thing is to be self-confident; I was telling people to act this way but truly be confident and act as though this is perfectly normal as it is. You are doing nothing wrong; you are not broken or strange you are just you. We are all different in ways be we are all normal people. People react to you how they perceive you are and if you come across confident and that this is the most normal thing in the world most people will accept that. Be happy with who you are. The main thing I want to get across is be who you are and be proud and don’t be afraid to go out. Life is too short to be unhappy or hide in your closest.

Now back to today, it was late in the afternoon when I got dressed and took my time. it was a little after 4 when I was ready so I decided to go to Starbucks for a little while. I got there and went in and yes was greeted by the young man there as I said above, they always treat me well and like any other woman. Now I just spent a little time her enjoying being out and playing on my computer. I also finalized my events for Diva Las Vegas and pre-paid for a couple of the dinners this year, yes it is 3 weeks away now and I am looking forward to it, not just being Susan for 12 days straight and having Acrylic nails but also seeing some of my friends I have made over the years some of whom live in other parts of the country and the only time I get to see them is at Diva las Vegas.

I am now looking forward to this weeks Zoom meeting and Wednesday night dinner. Be happy with who you are and get out and enjoy life. Feel free to comment or contact me if you if you have a question or just want to talk but remember it is all my opinion and feelings and nothing more. Thanks for reading my blog.

October 8, 2021 Posted by | Thoughts on Crossdressing | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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