A little Susan time to reflect at Starbucks

It is Sunday and little cold outside today but I still wanted my time as Susan. I had things to do in the morning so I didn’t start getting ready till after 1:30pm. I did take my time and spent a little extra time on my eyes and yes my lips. I am still trying to find a good daytime lipstick. I actually used several colors on my lips trying for and I liked the outcome but still doesn’t show up very well in photos. I wore my grey sweater dress along with my ankle boots which a lady yesterday complimented me on, it was a cute look. I was all ready by 3pm and got a few pictures including a couple trying to show my lipstick. I got my computer and off I went to my normal Sunday Starbuck.

It was 3:20 when I got to Starbucks and went in and they were very busy, several people standing in line to order and all but 1 table were taken including several of the seats at the counter along the window. The one open table was around the corner by the bathrooms but I went a head and put my computer on it as it was all that was left. I went and stood in line to order my drink. I ordered my drink and stood waiting for it by another woman who complimented me on my dress today which was really nice. I really do like when I get compliments and in general that is not something most men get but it is very common between women. I got my drink and sat down to work on my blogs. Now to my left was a couple with a lady looking at pictures and to my right were 2 young girls, probably high school age and yes these tables there is barely room to go between them. I started working on my blog but I noticed the 2 girls next to me seemed to be having trouble connecting there computers to the Wi-Fi. Well for those of you who don’t go to Starbucks when you start up your computer there is a message that pops up in the corner of your computer to tell you to sign in but it only stays there for a few seconds. I told them that and helped them get connected and they thanked me, it was a brief interaction but it was nice.

I worked on my blogs and caught up on some e-mails. Now this is stuff I have to do and it is so much more fun to go to Starbucks for a few hours as Susan to do them then sitting at home or doing it as my male self. for so many years this part of my life was hidden and just a very small part of my life and now it is a bigger part and I want to enjoy it. Now over the years as my female side has grown and become more confident and a bigger part of my life. Now I also know you have to have balance in your life and I guess I have crossed that line a little. I used to keep these 2 sides of my completely separate but over the last few years I have blurred that line. I used to say if I could do one thing all the time it would be to have acrylic nails which I actually do now, yes they are short (long for a man) and a very natural color so they really look more lie just a natural nail but with a definite feminine look but really no one has said anything even though I am sure they have noticed. Now when I talk like this people always think I am talking about transitioning and that is not what this is about but a blending of my male and female sides. Yes if I was retired or didn’t have to work I would spend a lot more time as Susan and yes I will have times I will have longer nails and colorful but not all the time as there are times I need to do things that Susan does not want or like to do and at those points I do not want to be Susan. Mainly when I am doing housework or work around the house as I do not like getting dirty or sweaty as I am Susan. Now I will admit that I am more comfortable and outgoing as Susan but that being said my female side does not define my complete person. I have thought about it over the years and I really do feel the reason why I am more comfortable as Susan is because I am more open and yes for lack of a better word more honest and by that I mean I am not hiding part of my life and who I am.

Now people may not know everything about who I am as Susan although some of my close friends on Susan’s side do know the most about me. I realize when I am out as Susan I am not fooling anyone in as they know I was not born female so they really do understand or at least know both sides of me. My family and friends on my male side really are missing half of who I am. Now I am not thinking about just coming out to everyone as again I feel it really is none of their business what I do in my life. I don’t feel everyone needs to know everything about me or everything in my life. Everyone has things they keep private or share with just a few people it is just mine is a bigger thing then for most people. The key is to find what is right for you and your life and to be happy with who you are.

I stayed here till about 5:30pm before going home for dinner and to watch TV till it was tine for bed. It was a good day and a nice way to end the weekend.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part or of my life with me. below are a few pictures of my lipstick, let me know what you think.