Beautiful, Relaxing Sunday at my favorite Starbucks

It is a beautiful Sunday and I was looking forward to a little Susan time this afternoon at my favorite Starbucks. I did get a little later start as I had things to do early in the day so it was a little after 1:30pm when I started getting ready. started my makeup and took my time and yes my eye is all better now. I did a smokey eye look and a pinky red lipstick. I wore my long light green summer dress. It was a nice look for the day. I was all ready about 2:40 and it only took a few minutes to get to Starbucks. Once again all the tables out front were taken as it is the perfect day, about 85 out, only 8 people inside so I set up my computer at table along window so I could plug it in and planned to move outside once a table opened up. I got my drink and sat down to work. Now I started off catching up on e-mails and sone work I had to do, yes computers have made it easy to work from anywhere. Now as I said I dd want to sit outside and it was about 4pm when 1 of the tables opened up so it was my chance. I got up and used the bathroom and then went and ordered another drink and by the time I got my drink all the tables outside were empty now, seems like everyone left at one time. I still went out and sat at the table by the door as it was beautiful out. I stated working on my bog for yesterday when I went and got my nails done and by the way they look spectacular in the natural light. There are pictures below, let me know what you think.

It is a nice ay to spend the day and it got me thinking back years ago when I was only dressing at home. I wouldn’t even go out on my deck for fear one of my neighbors might see me, as a matter of fact I had to have all the blinds closed in my house so no one could see in. I remember Cassandra telling me she would actually use clips to make sure her curtains were closed. Growing up this was the biggest darkest secret I had and I lived in total fear someone would find out. Now I am not going up to people I know and telling them about this side of my life but I am also not hiding it or living in fear someone will find out. I have kept my nails nice, short acrylic nails now for almost 2 years now, as a matter of fact last October for breast cancer month I had a light pink acrylic powder put on them. Last January I had a white snowflake on my ring finger, and in March I had a French fade for 3 weeks and really no one said a thing other then a few compliments on how my nails looked. Other then that if you look at my nails there is no question I have acrylic nails and they are perfectly shaped and a little long for a man. About the only thing I have noticed is the women I work with are taking better care of their nails as 2 years ago only 1 of the ladies I work with had acrylic nails and now there are about 14 of them, I guess I raised the bar a little.

I do wonder what they think though, my guess is they probably assume I am gay, as I am a single man in my late 50’s but I don’t worry about what others think any more. I guess if I told them I was transgender and lived part of my life that may explain why I have short nails but my guess is they would probably still think I am gay. Now I am not saying that is a bad thing but it is just not who I am. Society as a whole try really hard to fit people into boxes that fit what they think. Unfortunately it is human nature, I try never to judge people without getting to know them but even I without thinking will look at someone and purely on looks at least wonder about them. Now even though I do that I don’t make judgements about them as that is when you get into trouble. What I mean by that is wondering something about someone is okay as long as it does not affect your opinion of them. You can wonder if I am gay or even transgender but to look at me either as Susan or my male self with nails and say, wow that is different and as such I am a bad person is wrong. It is when we categorize people on an outward appearance and judge that person without getting to know them is when we have problems and leads to distrust and division. I have said it many times that every group, race, color, religion, or political party of people have good and bad people in them and it is only by talking with them and getting to know them can we figure out which they are. This is why our group going out to dinner is so important as we can be out and visible and let people see we are no different from them. We go out and have a nice meal and good conversation, we don’t cause a scene when we are out. I think noticing differences is a good thing as hopefully it will lead to better understanding.

I go a lot to Starbucks and everyone treats me great and treats me like any other female which is great. I have even got to know a few people by name I see on a regular basis. The thing is even though they will say hi or even talk to me they have never once asked me about this side of my life and I am sure it is because they are afraid of offending me. the problem is they never really get to know me and understand who I am as a person. In the same way I don’t just go up to them and start off with I am transgender and this is how I feel and who I am as that seems to me as pushing my life choice onto them and makes the assumption they don’t understand someone who is transgender. The nail salon I go to, Dream Nails, I have only ever been there as Susan so my guess is they think I am Susan all the time, same for the Starbucks I am at today, they have never seen my other then as Susan. for the most part I do keep my life separate that way. I guess there is no easy answer to this. Wow got off track there a little bit.

I finished my blog from Saturday and even talked briefly to a lady as she came in, she actually got her drink and came outside and sat at one of the other tables to work on her computer. I stayed here till almost 6pm before going home to eat and do a little laundry. Now I am looking forward to the week ahead.

Thanks for reading my blog and sharing this part of my life with me.