Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Wednesday night out

Well it is my usual Wednesday night out at Starbucks. When I got here there were only 2 other people here. Katie had my drink waiting for me on the counter when I came in, she had seen me pull in. What great service. Shavonie is off tonight at least I hope. I know she had put in her notice and I really hope she is not all done; I will have to ask Katie later. A few more people have come in sense I got here so now there are about 8 people, still slow. I think the fact it is not raining and sun breaks every now and then that people are outside. There has been a steady stream of those coming in and getting something to go even one guy sitting outside at the tables. Just a thought maybe this summer when it is nice I can sit outside one evening when I am here.

I need to do a little grocery shopping so when I leave here I think I will run over to Wal-Mart and take care of it tonight. There is one just up the street so I can make a quick trip in and still get home early enough to get some sleep before work tomorrow. It should be fun as I like being out.

Friday Night I will also be out as I hope several of the t-girls will be out at Embers. It seems strange, as I have not been to Embers for 3 weeks now. Things just haven’t worked out, as I went to a party three weeks ago and then had to work the next week and last week so many were up at Esprit I don’t think anyone was there so I went over to Peggy’s for dinner and the 3 of us just sat around and talked all evening. It was so nice and relaxing.

I still want to go out some Saturday morning or early afternoon and go shopping or something else new. I really like my time at Starbucks and Embers but it would be so fun to do new things and expand Susan’s outlook some. There was talk in the group about maybe doing a movie night and I think that would be fun. I have gone to a few movies by myself and had fun but in a group would be great. Cassandra was trying to get us tickets again to Harvey’s Comedy club but all they had were for the late show on Sunday night so we passed and she will try again in the future. It was so fun the last time we went down there as a group.

Well I guess that is all I have for now.

May 26, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Stormy night at Starbuck’s

Well I made it out again to Starbuck’s; the weather today was really rainy and windy. Starbucks was pretty busy when I first got here. A man even held the door open for me as I came in. I think it is because of the weather but they had a couple open tables so I took the one towards the middle along the wall. I really enjoy my time here as I find it really relaxing and I seem to get more work done. I also get to people watch which is always fun. Both Katie and Shavonie are working tonight which is always fun as they always make me feel welcome.

I am looking forward to Friday night as I did not make it out last Friday because of work. I am not sure how many other t-girls will be out though as several of them are going up to Esprit in Port Angeles. I would have liked to go but just couldn’t get the whole weekend off. I know they will have a great time but with them gone (some of the main people from the group) I figure Friday night to be quiet. This may be good also because if there aren’t many out I can go home early and then maybe get up early Saturday morning and spend some Susan time out shopping and maybe even a movie. I haven’t gone to a movie for a while.

It is staying light way later now as the sun does not set till after 8:30 which also means on the nice day people in my neighborhood will be out later especially the kids which will make it harder to slip out of my house unnoticed. I really like the warm summer weather but this is an issue every year and now that I go out twice a week it will be that much harder. But I will still go out I will just have to find a way to limit my exposer. I know at some point I will be seen and then it will be out and strangely I am not that worried about it although I will try my best to keep this a secret as long as I can. I guess this is something all T-girls & crossdressers go through.

May 19, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Starbucks and then to CC Slaughters.

Well I am out for my normal stop at Starbucks. I was running a little late tonight so it was after 7 when I got here but Shavonie and Katie saw me pull in and by the time I was inside they had my drink ready. It is always fun to come here as they are both so great. They are a little slow tonight but still a good place to be.

I have all my stuff ready for Diva Las Vegas and all that is left is to pack. I am so looking forward to it, especially getting my nails done tomorrow night. I so love acrylic nails as I think they are the most feminine thing you can do. From the time I get them done I will stay Susan till I get home and have them removed. I even have a bathing suit for spending time at the pool in Vegas. Even Cassandra is planning on going to the pool (although she said this makes her a little nervous which is something I have never heard her saw, she is always so confident and outgoing. I thought nothing ever worried her. We will have so much fun though. I am not sure if I should buy a swim cap so I could take off my wig and actually go swimming. The wig really does help me look more feminine and without it I am sure I would look like a dude in drag. I will have to really think about this.

I am going to go to CC Slaughters when I leave here and catch up with the other T-girls. I have not been there for so long and I don’t have to get up as early tomorrow so why not. I am sure it will surprise them. Also give Cassandra and me a chance to make any last minute plans as we leave Friday morning.

Spending the whole time as Susan I thought would have made me more nervous as it got closer but so far it hasn’t. I am really looking forward to it. I look back on my trip a few years ago to San Francisco and how nervous I was even before the trip and wonder why I was; maybe it just hasn’t set in yet but either way I will love the whole time. As of the other night it is still just Cassandra, Peggy and I going. It will be so much fun but still would have been great if Teresa, Maya and Bev could have made it.

I really hope there is internet access at the hotel so I can update my blog while on the trip and post pictures. But if not I will make sure that I post as soon as I get home. I am sure this will be a trip I want a good record of what I did and where I went.

April 14, 2010 Posted by | Diva Las Vegas, Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Starbucks on Wednesday 4-7-2010

Well I made it out again and I was ready. I have missed the last two Friday nights out because of work and it seems like I haven’t seen my friends forever. This Friday will be so much fun. I did get some new clothes for Susan the other day so tonight I decided to wear one of the new tops. I still need some things for my trip and I am running out of time so tomorrow Susan is planning on going out shopping. Need a few pairs of pants and maybe a skirt or two and a pair of shoes for golf, a cute pair. Not sure where I will go yet but that is part of the fun. It will also mean 3 nights in a row for Susan kind of a mini vacation trial.

I have my nail appointment set to get my Acrylic nails for the trip and still plan on traveling and spending the whole trip as Susan. Cassandra may not now as she has been really good and exercising everyday and does not want to stop while we are in Las Vegas and I agree with her it would be hard to go to the club at the hotel as a female. I on the other hand failed at my attempt to get on a regular exercise program and figure I will wait now till we get back so I won’t need to go to the club. The drawback is Cassandra has lost a weight which I also failed at. This girl really needs a diet and exercise but again can’t start right before vacation. By the way great job Cassandra, I am proud of you.

Got to Starbuck’s tonight just a little late (again work). There was no customer there even the parking lot in front was completely empty. As usual Katie and Shavonie greeted me as I came in. we talked a little as Shavonie made my drink. You know the usual stuff like how my week was and what is new but I do so enjoy it. They make me feel right at home every week. Starbuck’s is lucky to have such great employee’s. I have really come to enjoy and look forward to coming here and seeing them both. Katie is still leaving in July but for now Shavonie is staying (yeh)J.

This Friday I have to get out early as there is a meeting at Hobos in Portland about the first annual Miss Portland T-girl contest. Yes I did sign up to be in it and still have not figured out what I will do for the talent part. It is the last Friday of this month at Embers and I think there are 9 T-girls in it so I stand a 1 in 9 chance not bad odds. If any of you would like to see it the doors open at 5 pm and the contest starts at 6 pm on Friday April 30 2010. I believe there is a $10 cover as they are not sure how many if anyone will show up and they need to cover the cost of employees. I think if we get a good turnout and they see this is a worthwhile event the cover would come down next year so please come and support this. Peggy and Jersey put a lot of time and effort into this, thanks so much you two are awesome. It would be so great if this became a big event every year. I believe this is the first such contest for a T-girl (non performer) so Portland is on the cutting edge again. We really do live in a great community here so let’s all support it.

Well I must get to my work now so I will end here and post again Saturday about my shopping trip tomorrow and Friday night at Embers. Oh one last thing, Embers has great drag shows Wednesday night through Saturday (Friday is my favorite as I can go out that night). So if you are looking for something fun to do go to Embers check them out. Tell them Susan sent you and with that and some money you can get a drink.

April 7, 2010 Posted by | Starbucks, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday night downtown

Well I usual I made it out on Friday night. Friday was so nice and sunny and in the upper 60’s so when I left it was still really nice out. I am so ready for summer and warmed weather. I got to Embers around 7:30 like normal and there really weren’t many people there. Lisa & Bobbie were there so I joined them up by the pool table. There were two guys playing a game of pool so we sat and talked which I really like to do. Amy and Cassandra showed up about 8 and joined us and those two guys were still playing the same game. Cass put money on the table to play the next game and we had to keep asking them to play. It was frustration as they would make a shot and then sit and talk for 5 or 10 minutes then the next would shoot. It was obvious they had been drinking and really should have been cut off by Embers. They finally finished and gave up the table so we started to play.

Cassandra and I played the first two games and I lost both but it was fun. David one of the cocktail waiters who I know pretty well as he has worked there as long as I can remember was limping really bad, he told us he had broken his knee and had a cast on under his pants. Our group played pool and a few went down to watch the show. We still had a good turnout but our numbers have dwindled in recent weeks. Don’t get me wrong we still get a good turnout maybe 10 but back by the first of the year we would have 15 – 20. I am not sure why might just be with the nicer weather we have more things to do and just can’t get out as much. Cassandra and I were talking about it and she said Saturday nights are again becoming the big night out. Shame I can’t make both.

The crowd at Embers was small to start but as the show went on the crowd did grow which was nice as I really do like the shows even though I was up by the pool table most of the night. I did go down and watch some though. The crowd was mostly woman last night which was kind of fun. It was a good night out as always. I really like getting out as Susan so any time or place is great.

March 20, 2010 Posted by | CD, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday night at Embers 3-12-2010

Well Susan went out again on Friday night to meet up with her friends at Embers. I wore my new dress I bought a few weeks back. It is more of a casual look and I really like the way it look. I got there about 7:30 and Cassandra and Bobbie were there. From the lack of postings in the group we figured we might be it so we went up by the pool table and sat and talked. Cassandra and I had a chance to talk about Diva Las Vegas. Cassandra, Peggy and I are defiantly going but Teresa is a question mark right now. She still wants to go and is hopping she can. It will be such a fun trip I really hope Teresa can work it out.

Embers was really slow and I talked with Phaedra and she said it has been slow all week. I bet it is hard for the Drag Queens to go out and perform when there is hardly anyone there. With us up by the pool table I bet there weren’t more than 20 people down watching the show at most. Soon more T-girls started to show up and we had a small group. We played pool (I myself played 5 games, lost the first two and then won three in a row). Couldn’t beat Cassandra but did win against Barb and Jen twice. It was a fun night but as several of us were tired (long week) by 12:20 we were ready to go which is early for us. We usually shut the place down. I just thought no one took any pictures so I did not get one of my dress.

On the way home I was just not ready to call it a night so I stopped at Safeway and went in to pick a few things up. I spent about 15 minutes or so shopping. Again it was more about being out than the shopping. Several of the employees greeted me and the lady at the check stand was really nice and asked how my night was going. We chatted for a moment and then I was off to head home where Susan would go to bed and disappear till she comes out again next Wednesday.

March 13, 2010 Posted by | crossdresser, Gender, T-girl | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night at Embers with friends 1-15-2010

Well Susan made it out again even with all the rain we are having here in Portland. As a crossdresser I really don’t like the rain as it messes up my hair and makeup something my male side never has to worry about. I went downtown Portland to Embers to meet up with all my friends, Friday seems to be the big night when most of us can get out. As luck would have it I found a parking spot right across the street so it was a short quick dash across the street in the rain which was nice as a couple weeks ago I had to park 3 blocks away. When I got inside Teresa was the only one there from our group so I went and joined her and another woman (GG genetic woman). Teresa introduced us and it turns out it was Teresa’s ex wife, they are still really close and she excepts Teresa as she is, how cool is that.

Soon others started to show up, Lisa, Maya and Bev came in and our table was soon full. Teresa joked with a guy sitting by himself at the next table that we may have to join him as our table was full and we knew more from our group would be there. The guy smiled and went over to the bar and gave us his table which was so nice of him. Cassandra and Peggy were the next to arrive and we spread to two tables. Lea and her date (I think her name is Amanda I am really bad at names), Amy, Siobhan Cheri and a few others arrived and we spread to a third table and at this point I gave up trying to keep track of everyone (if I left you out sorry). I think we had 20 t-girls there again and it was so much fun.

Siobhan and I went up by the pool table and took some pictures. I think this is one of the most fun things that t-girls like to do. I have hardly any pictures of my male self but over a 1,000 of Susan, she is a camera hog and loves to have her picture taken. You can check them out some of my pictures on my flickr page. There is also a link to Siobhan flickr page in the description of the picture of us together. Peggy took this picture for us thanks Peggy.

By the time the show started Embers was really pretty busy, most of the tables were full. Jersey-Jo Amber Scities who hosts the Friday show does a really good job and the show is a lot of fun. If you are in the Portland area you should check it out. They have them Wednesday through Saturday night and all are good but I like the Friday show best, may only be because that is the night I can get out. Well during the show Jersey made an announcement that Embers was going to host the first Miss Portland T-girl contest on Friday April 30. I guess Peggy & Jersey have been working on this and now they have it all put together. It sounds like it would be a lot of fun I just don’t know what I could do for the talent part plus I have terrible stage fright, go figure a guy who likes to dress up as a woman and go out in public is afraid of being on stage in front of people. Even so it sound like so much fun I think I will have to try and compete. A big thanks for Jersey and Peggy for working out all the details and making this happen and to Embers for hosting it.

We also had a chance to talk about Diva Las Vegas and start finalizing plans. Seems right now we have 5 confirmed going and also three other couples (6 more) that want to go and are trying to work it outs so they can. This would be great as it would give us 11 from Portland in Las Vegas. This would be so much fun and give us all more real world experience. I think that is great to the Trans community as it gives us the chance to interact with people who may never have met a Trans person and may have no idea who we are or worse have a bad idea about us. I think the more we are out in public the better it will be for us in the future plus it is just so much fun. I am already thinking about getting my nails done and what color I should get (probably a red color which is my favorite). I really hope this is Diva Las Vegas biggest year with the most t-girls there. Last year attendance was down just a little with the economy but it also makes it very reasonable to go. If you are a Trans person, t-girl, crossdresser, TG, transgender or transsexual, however you term yourself or like to be called if you can go you should. Check out their web page for more information.

One last thing before I go, there is a lot of discussion on who we are (TG, transgender, t-girl, Transsexual, crossdresser and the like). My opinion (and only that nothing more) is this. A crossdresser is someone who likes to wear the clothing associated with the opposite sex. I am fine being called this as I do love to wear woman’s clothes. They may or may not dress completely up as I do it may be one item only. Now for the harder on transgender or TG this is someone who crosses gender lines, they like to dress up and present themselves as the opposite sex again I am fine with this term as I do dress up completely and present myself as a woman. Transsexual is someone who wants to be the opposite sex, either they feel they were born the wrong sex or just feel the need to be the opposite sex. Now for me this one does not apply as I have no desire to make any permanent changes (hormones or sex change surgery). Now I do not take offence if someone refers to me this way I just explain who I am and what the terms mean. The last term is T-girl and I think this one has the most confusion. It simply applies to the whole Trans community, it is an all encompassing umbrella that we all fall under weather you are just wearing one piece of clothing to having a sex change. It would be like taking Oregonian, Washingtonians & Californians all from different states but we are all American (T-Girls). We all bend the gender line from a little to a full change and I am fine with this term. But in the end I think too much is put on what we are called and not who we are. When I am out as Susan that is who I am, a person with likes and dislike, feelings and no different from anyone else so if you run into a t-girl, transgendered person, transsexual or crossdresser and are unsure how to address them here is what you do. Walk up and say “Hi my name is ____, what is your name? They will smile back and tell you their name and now instead of a term you have a name and possibly a new friend. I think you will find that we are all pretty much the same and with the exception of how we like to dress no different from your current family and friends, we may even be your family and friends. Wow I got a little off track and got carried away.

Thanks for reading my blog and feel free to leave a comment. Whether you agree with me or not I will allow all comments as long as they are respectful and not ex-rated as I want to keep my blog as clean as possible. I am not looking for everyone to agree with me but an exchange of thoughts and ideas as I think that is where change happens. I learn and see you point of view and in return you do the same and in the process we grow in understanding.

January 16, 2010 Posted by | CD, crossdress, crossdresser, crossdressing, Las Vegas, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wenesday night out at Starbuck’s 1/13

Well it is my Wednesday night Susan time. I was looking at my nails and they need some work to get ready for my vacation to Diva Las Vegas. I got home and called to see if I could get a manicure tonight before going to Starbuck’s. I want to get my hands looking good so when I get my acrylics for the trip they will look perfect and I also want to try some different colors to see how I want to spend the week. Unfortunately they did not have an opening tonight and asked if I could make it tomorrow which I couldn’t. So I decided to try the other salon that I have used and evidently the economy got to them and they are now closed which may be why the other one was booked as they are only a couple blocks from each other. So a long story no manicure for Susan tonight. Will try again next week but will call a day or two before. I really do love getting my nails done and I don’t do it enough. I think I will try to get a manicure once a month.

Any way I am sitting in Starbucks and have finished my first drink and getting a second as it is a little chilly in here. They have gotten busier and the door keeps opening and letting cold air in. but it also give me a chance to watch all the people coming and going. When I got here there were only 6 people inside sitting now there are about 20. I really like to be out in the mainstream public I think that is why I am so looking forward to Diva Las Vegas. Would love to hear from anyone who has been there to find out how they liked it, also anyone planning on going. I would love to get know some of the people who will be there before I get there. Right now the group of t-girls here in Portland I belong to has 4 for sure going, 3 more who are planning on it and 2 who are trying to work out their schedules so they can go so looks like 9 from Portland. I am still hoping a few more will be able to go, it would be so fun with a big group.

The bad thing is I have been looking at my wardrobe and I need to do some shopping. I am good for going out a couple times a week but being Susan 24/7 for 10 day I need more clothes and shoes. I definitely need to go shopping which may end up being the most expensive part of this trip. That will also be fun as I plan on doing my shopping as Susan and added bonus.

This trip will be so much fun and the longest I have been Susan none stop. I will get my nails done with acrylic on Thursday night and from then on 10 days as Susan. I am not even taking any boy clothes just my feminine girly stuff. I can’t wait, it seems so far away but I know it will get here fast enough.

January 13, 2010 Posted by | Acrylic nails, CD, crossdress, crossdresser, crossdressing, Las Vegas, nail salon, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Susan is going to Diva Las Vegas this year on vacation

Well Susan is planning her vacation for this year. I have wanted to go to Diva Las Vegas for a couple years now and it never worked out but this year I am going. The other night at Starbuck’s Peggy and I were talking and I told her about my plans and it seems her and Cassandra also wanted to go so Cassandra posted it to the group and it seems there is a lot of interest. Peggy, Cassandra, Teresa and I are now all going and it seems a few other girls are also making plans so we should have several from the t-girl group here in Portland going to Diva Las Vegas. If you do not know what it is you can check out their web page.

We have talked about it and are planning on going to Las Angeles first and going out there on Saturday night at what Cassandra has said is the best T-girl club in the country Oxwood and then on to Las Vegas for a fun filled week. We are also planning on swinging through Las Angeles on the way home for one last outing there at Oxwood. I am so looking forward to this trip. I will be Susan for the whole time as I plan on only taking my female clothes. I will be Susan from start to finish, driving as Susan, Checking into hotels as Susan, nothing but Susan for a whole week.

Oh and yes Susan will have her nails done with acrylics before she leaves even Cassandra is planning on getting her nails done too. A whole week with long acrylic nails. Not sure what color I will get them painted yet but thinking of red. This will be a week of being out in mainstream USA in one of the most fun exciting and busy places in the country and I am sure I will take lots of pictures. My last vacation to San Francisco where I was Susan for a few days was so fun but this one will be longer and so much more fun

I will need to do some shopping before the trip as I need some more casual clothes and shoes. This will also be fun as I will get to go shopping which means even more time as Susan. As much fun as this trip will be the best part is the fact I will be sharing it with my friends. We are all going to have so much fun it will truly be a week to remember. Right now I think we have 7 t-girls from Portland that are seriously thinking of going. It would be so great if we could get a big group of us all to go. I think last year they had about a 150 t-girls there what a vacation if we could get 20 or 30 all from Portland. If any of you t-girls out there are looking for a vacation idea, give it a thought. Spending time in Las Vegas in female mode what could be better.

Cassandra, Peggy and Teresa we are going to have so much fun!

Oh almost forgot, last night we all met up at Embers for are usual Friday night out. We had a great time and spent part of the night talking and making plans for our trip. I met a couple new t-girls, Kalie and Stephanie. The show was good and we all stayed till the show was over so it was a late night out again.

January 9, 2010 Posted by | Acrylic nails, CD, crossdress, crossdresser, crossdressing, Las Vegas, nail salon, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spending time as Susan at Starbuck’s

Wednesday night Susan made her trip to Starbuck’s for some computer time and being out and about. It is so nice to be out in the general public as Susan. Peggy came over and joined me which was really nice as it gave me someone to talk to and boy did we talk. She had brought some stuff to do and never even got to it and I hardly looked at my computer. It was so nice to just sit and enjoy some girl talk. We even talked about Diva Las Vegas and how I would like to go this year. I think it would be so much fun.

Now I usually go there from 7 to 8:30 but we were having so much fun we lost track of time till the one lady told us they closed at 9 and it was about 9:15, The two ladies who work there were really nice about it though. I think that is why I go to this Starbuck’s the most as they have always treated me well. Thanks Peggy for coming all the way over and spending time with me.

January 7, 2010 Posted by | CD, crossdress, crossdresser, crossdressing, T-girl, transgender | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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