Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

A chance to get out Friday night to Sweet Home

It is Friday and I am going to get out tonight to Sweet Home for a little while, besides Cassandra texted she would be there for a while also. I am looking forward to it as it has been a long time. But first a side note, I have been getting acrylic on my mails now since spring and for the last 6 weeks a light pink color and the last time a little thicker acrylic. Any way today at work finally one of the ladies said something and it was kind of funny. I was getting something and she looked at me and said “wow (male name) you have better looing nails then I do, I have been slacking off” I just said thanks, she looked at her nails and said “wow my nails look like crap” I smiled and said a little money and time at a nails salon will fix that. Now I was looking at her nails they had polish on about half the nail and really did look bad, they would have looked better with no polish on them and I thought to myself yes almost everyone here male or female have better looking nails. It will be interesting to see what her nails look like on Monday. Now as I said no one has said a thing about my nails till this but what I have noticed is I see a lot fewer ladies here at work with nail polish chipped and worn this bad, I think they are redoing their nail polish more often and not letting the polish get so bad. Maybe I am having a small effect as they don’t want a male to have nicer nails.

Well I got home early and I knew Cassandra was planning on being there by 5 and Chris probably earlier so I decided to get there as early as I could, more Susan time. It was a little before 4 when I started getting ready. Now I have said it many time and sorry if to you it is repeating it but I really do love my time getting ready. There is just something so relaxing and enjoyable about becoming Susan and doing my makeup. It is funny how something like doing my makeup can make me feel so nice inside. I was ready by 5 and on my way to meet my friends at Sweet Home. I am not sure how many will show up but it will be fun. I am also looking forward to seeing some of the people from the other group.

I got there and Cassandra and Chris were there playing pool and Roxy showed up just after I got there. It was good to see them all again. I gave Cassandra my money for our dinner cruise on the Portland Spirit in December, she is making the reservation and paying for it and we pay her. It is awesome of her to do this and coordinate events like this. I think she said we had 18 signed up but still 5 need to pay yet. She doesn’t have to pay till the 22nd so there is still a little time even for those not signed up. Right now, we have spots for 25 so if you are here in Portland and want to go get a hold of Cassandra. This is really going to be fun I have wanted to go on a dinner cruise on the Portland Spirit and to think my first will be as Susan.

We also talked about our Mexican cruise next October which will also be so much fun. Cassandra asked me if I was planning on doing the whole trip as Susan including flying down and back. I told her yes, I was, I really want to try flying as Susan although I do know 3 people who work TSA at the airport but I figure the odds of me going through one of their lines is small. It is funny though as 10 years ago it took all I could do just to get out of mat car and go in someplace. Now I have gone to Las Vegas several times and lived and traveled as Susan, checking in and out of hotels as Susan and now ii am planning on flying on an air plane as Susan. I have come a long way and it is al because of my wonderful friends I have made. I really think Cassandra would love to make the trip and fly as Cassandra but she is worried of running into someone at the airport she knows and as her wife is going with her that would give her away. It will be interesting what happens but we still have 11 months to figure it out.

We also talked about Diva Las Vegas we are all looking forward to it although being a little later this year one of our girls may not be able to go but she is thinking she may be able to rearrange things a little and at least go for part of it. It really is a fun event. We also talked about maybe just doing a Las Vegas trip with our group, the last few years we have had 10 to 15 each year from our group and maybe we could get them to go at a different time.

It was not real busy here tonight as the other main group that comes here had another event tonight which was a little sad as I was looking forward to seeing them again. Looks like I will have to try and make it out another Friday night. There were some new faces here although as I have not been here for a while I was probably the new face. A couple men came by and told Cassandra and I how beautiful we looked tonight. I am not interested in men but it is always nice to hear you are pretty. Any way it was a small group of us tonight, just 5 from our group but still fun.

BY 9:30 we were thinking of calling it a night, which is funny as 10 years ago we didn’t even show up till 9:30 or 10 but we did get here early tonight. Karaoke started and it was good, we listened for a little still talking as we could. We made it till 10:30 and then we all paid our bills and called it a night. It was a good night out.

Thanks for reading and be sure to keep up with me and what Susan is doing with my most resent blog.

November 18, 2017 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Friday is here and time for Susan to have a fun weekend.

Friday is here and I am looking forward to a Friday night out at Sweet Home with friends. I really enjoy my Susan time as it help relax me and I find I t helps with stress. Now yesterday I did get out briefly for a manicure and pedicure and I went a head and didn’t put mat polish on my nails as I figured one day at work with shiny nails would be okay besides as I said she trimmed them kind of short. This is the hard part for me and my nails now, they grow. Even though they are short now by the time I go back in 2 weeks or so hey will be the perfect length, Long enough to look nice and feminine if I want but not so long as to be really noticeable when I am not Susan. Now if I start off with that length then by the time I go back in a couple weeks they really are long for a my male self. It really is a balancing act but one I am enjoying.

I started getting ready at 4:30 got home late from work. A hot shower and shave, lotion on my legs and arm, Moisturizer on my face, makeup, perfume, dress, heels, jewelry and hair and I was ready. Took me almost an hour and a half but so relaxing and fun. For me this is one of the simple pleasures of being Susan. I was on my way about 5:50 for my fun night out. I got to Sweet Home shortly after 6 and had to park about 2 blocks away. Now the bad part is this is a residential area and the street is sloped and not well maintained and the sidewalks is sloped and uneven and of course I wore my 4” spiked heels. Walking in heels is not that hard on even ground and I am pretty good at it but this was a little more difficult and of course I had to walk slower but I did okay.

Chris was already there so I joined him, it was kind of quiet in the bar but it was still early. I had my computer so I worked on it while Chris played pool. Roxy showed up so there were 3 of us and that would be it for our group tonight. We ordered dinner and of course I got the special again tonight. My food came and it was good as always. As I said it was still a little slow here being early so Paul the owner came over and sat with us for a few minutes to see how the food was and just to talk with us. By the way the food is always good here, I don’t think I have ever had a bad dinner.

Kelsie was also here tonight and it has been a while since I have seen her, I met her one of the first times I came here and I have even sang Karaoke a few times with her. It was good to see her again, she didn’t stay long as her and her date had to leave. She said she might be back later and asked if I would sing Karaoke with her, I told her I would.

About 9 it started to pick up and get busy, the other group that comes in for Karaoke started to show up and by 9:45 when Karaoke started it was pretty busy. Dawni and Mareinna showed up tonight and it is always nice to see them. it is funny as I look forward to seeing some of the members of the other group just as much. I got to talk to them for a little bit which was nice. Angela was also here and we talked for a bit too.

Karaoke started and it was good, some of the songs people picked I don’t think I had heard before but some were ones I knew really well. Chris sang once and did well. Now that Karaoke started I wondered if Kelsie would make it back. I was torn as it would be nice to see her but it would also mean singing. Well she didn’t make it back at least before I left so I didn’t have to sing tonight.

It was a little after 11 when I paid my bill and called it a night. It was a wonderful start to the weekend and I am looking forward to Saturday night at the Escape with my friend. We are also planning a dinner at Who Songs and Larry’s which will be fun as they have good food and always treat us awesome.

It was a wonderful start to my weekend. Thanks for reading

April 16, 2016 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another Friday night in my life a Susan

Well it is another Friday and another long week so I am glad it is over. I seem to really look forward to Fridays as I get to spend Friday nights not only as Susan but also with my best friends. Don’t get me wrong as I have some awesome friends in my male life also but my male life is and I hate to put it this way but my regular everyday life where Susan is my fun time. I heard a long time ago what keeps you young and healthy is having goals or things you can look forward to and for me that is my time as Susan and I really believe this to be true. So if you do not have goals in your life or something to look forward to you need to find something

Well I was already to leave my house yes I took extra time tonight to get ready as that is part of what I enjoy about being Susan, the getting ready and doing my makeup. Now it gets dark way before I leave and yes I still look out my front window even though at least two of my neighbors know, I guess habits are hard to break. I got in my car in the garage and started it and then opened the door like I have done so many times and started to pull out. I was about half out of the garage when I thought to myself, I had forgot to put perfume on and left my lipstick on the bathroom counter. Now the lipstick was not that big of a concern as I have gotten pretty good with doing my lips that I usually can go the whole night without needing to touch them up but I do so love my perfume and after all, all girls should smell good.

Now normally I would either just skip it for the night or pull back into my garage and shut the door but after all my neighbors do know so I just shut off my car and went back into the house with the door open and finished what needed to be done and then walked back out to my car. It really felt nice not having to hide it.

I got to sweethome and several of the group was already there so you know the group is becoming comfortable there, as when we first started going there if you were there by 7:30 you were the first one there and now some show up before 7. It is nice to get there early as it is less crowded and give us a chance to talk. They do have a juke box that people play and if I had to find one bad thing about this place it is the volume on the juke box but then again where we sit is pretty close to it. Now the conversation did eventually go to politics and the election this week and even in our group of t-girls we have different political views so some were happy and some were not. Now I am not going to get deep into politics here as that is not what this blog is about but however you voted was your right and I support your views, if you did not vote shame on you. We live in a great country and what makes it great is our freedom which we exercise every election and if you don’t vote then you really have no reason to complain. Now I know some people say their vote does not matter and I will admit that can be true but I feel we all still have a duty to vote our conscious. There is a city just north of where I live that twice in the last 20 years have decided their mayor race with a flip of a coin because after the election it was an even tie so people there who didn’t vote felt bad. Okay enough of that. Even talking politics the girls out last night were able to express their views and still be friends in the group. I think this is what makes our group so wonderful. We are all a little different but accept each other for who we are without judging them, wow how wonderful the world would be if everyone could do this.

Well we all ordered dinner and by the way Sweethome has wonderful food and always some kind of dinner special. More girls started to show up around 8 and that always makes it more fun. We had a really good turnout, I would guess 15 but it really is hard to count here as we actually have so much interaction with the other customer here. Not only the staff here but also the customers in general are not only okay with our group being here but they are happy we are here which is awesome and makes you feel great inside.

Lorraine showed up and she is always so much fun, we sat and talked for a while and yes we got on the subject of James Bond as the new Bond opened this week. I really need to go see it as I do like James Bond. Any way we had a good conversation on the subject. Victoria and Michelle came over and joined in and the 4 of us just kept talking. At one point I got out my camera to show Lorraine the pictures from the Halloween party. Lorraine is not a member of our group so all she could see were the pictures I had posted to my facebbok page. It was a lot of fun.

I did play one game of pool against Cassandra and came close to winning but on my 8 ball shot I scratched and lost but had a lot of fun. Cassandra was really on her game and won like 6 in a row so I don’t feel that bad. several of us talked about Diva Las Vegas in the spring and we have 4 that are planning on going and a few more that are thinking about it so that will be a lot of fun.

About 10 they got the Karaoke going and that always brings in people, actually there is another group that most Fridays have more people than our group there, they are known as the Karaoke group in the bar and they are so much fun. We have a blast with them and as I said our groups do tend to intermingle which is awesome. It really is a fun night out and we always have a blast. The hard part is some of us are torn now as it would be nice to try other places and also go back to the Boiler Room. We have also always been treated awesome at the Boiler room and have fun there also. The question is do we pick maybe one Friday a month to go to the Boiler Room or someplace different or do we maybe pick another night like Saturday. Years ago when I joined the group Saturday was the big night out and now on Saturdays we don’t do much except Harvey’s once a month and a party. Fridays are our big night out followed by Wednesday’s and of course now Monday night for football so our group is active 3 nights a week. Maybe I will have to talk to some of the other girls for their thoughts.

Well it was almost 2 when the last of our group, me included left and yet the bar was still busy and Karaoke still going strong. What a fun night but I will feel it tomorrow.

Well thanks for reading and have a great weekend

November 10, 2012 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night with friends

Well it is Friday night again and Susan can go out. After missing the last 3 Friday nights I was really looking forward to as fun night with all my friends. I have said it before but it is amazing how much a part of my life Susan has become and I am not talking about transitioning but the fact is Susan does account for a big part of who I am. I need to have Susan time on a regular basis. I guess in anything we do we find things we like and are important to us and then if we lose that or can’t do it then it has an effect on us and the same goes for being Susan, I need to be able to express my feminine side. I was e-mailed some questions by Erin Rook a local reporter for PQ Monthly who has wrote a couple stories about our group getting kicked out of the P-Club but in doing her story she realized she knew about the transgender community but not so much about crossdressers and of course I was only too happy to respond.

The question was what do I identify as and she (crossdresser, transgender, transsexual, t-girl, genderqueer, gay, lesbian, queer, etc.) now for me I have never really been big on titles but I gave it my best shot and in my mind you can fit into several categories. First I do think of myself as a crossdresser as I do not want to transition and live full time but it really is more than that to me as it is more to me than simply putting on female cloths. I like to dress completely and present as female. T-girl to me pretty much includes all transgender people so this also fits who I am. Now I am not gay and I will admit when I first started dressing this kind of bothered me that people would think that just because I dressed I would be gay but with time, experience I have come to understand why people think this and have also realized that since I am straight when I am out as Susan I am not interested in men but woman so I guess that would also make me a lesbian in a way as I do take on the female role in the way I act. Transgender is also one of those areas that can be hard to define. If you put gender on a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being totally feminine and 10 totally masculine I think most people fall between 3 and 7 so I guess I would be the one right in the middle as I think I have a lot of characteristics of both genders and not really what I would call a dominate. That being said I can modify my actions so as male I suppress the feminine ones and as Susan well you guessed it I suppress the male ones which basically means that as Susan I would be more to the 3 range and as my male self more to the 7 range so really no one can tell. Now I am not sure this is a word but I almost think for me bi-gender would be a better term just because I do switch between genders in the way I act depending on how I present. Which leads to another question is how do you identify and I would say the same goes here, yes I am male and identify that way most of the time but as Susan I take on the feminine roll, I act and present as female and yes I even think that way so when I am Susan I do identify that way as female and that is how I think of myself. Any way I may be in her article in PQ monthly.

Well back to Friday night, I have been looking forward to this night all week so I got home from work around 5 and started to get ready, yes I love the time I spend getting ready as it relaxes me so I don’t mind how long it takes. A nice warm showed and shave and then time for my makeup. When I was satisfied with this it was time to dress and I chose my black dress and heels and was out the door by 6:45. I noticed that the sun has already set by this time and by 7 it is getting pretty dark out, now I really like the summer but yes it is way easier to get out after dark less chance of a neighbor seeing you. We were meeting at Sweethome bar & grill where we have gone several time, the owner actually invited us to come there after he heard about the P-club telling us not to come back. It was early and they weren’t very busy yet, Chris was the only one there from our group so far so we sat and talked for a while, I went ahead and ordered dinner because I was hungry. About 7:45 Cassandra showed up and it was just the 3 of us for a while and Cassandra wondered how many would be out tonight. Well it wasn’t long and others started to show up.

We had a good turnout, 17 that I counted and I am going to try to name them all. Me, Cassandra, Chris, Cristine, Bobbie, Victoria, Jan, Lynn, Lizzy, Michelle, Robin (in boy mode), Cassie, Joan, Jenn, Guinevere, and a couple new girls, Breena and I can’t remember the other, sorry as I am blonde. It was great to have such a big crowd out. I got a chance to talk to Cassandra about Diva Las Vegas as they have put the pictures from last year up. It is funny as we as a group do not take nearly the pictures we took just a year ago. Any way Cassandra told me that we have 4 of us planning on going next year to Diva Las Vegas, her and I along with Cristine and Guinevere.

Any way I did managed to talk with every one there this time probably the only reason this blonde could remember who was all there. It was great to spend time with them after missing so many weekends. Jenn and I had a chance to talk and things are still going well for her. She is transitioning but still not full time yet although she looks awesome and would have no trouble.

Also got to talk with the two new girl’s well they were out last Friday also when I was not. They were both really nice. Breena who is also really passable was awesome to talk with. She just moved here to Portland a couple weeks ago and again a blonde moment as I can’t remember from where she moved. I hope they both come out more and join our group.

Several of our group sang Karaoke including Victoria. I am not sure if this was her first time but was the first time I saw her sing and she was really good. Maybe one of these days I will try it. Well we talked about next weekend and going to Harvey’s Comedy club and I think we already have about 8 planning on going. We also talked about Halloween which is fast approaching and I still don’t have a costume. Funny just s few years ago Susan was my costume but now I need or want a feminine costume so yes that will be my weekend plans to go look at cute costumes for Halloween.

Now tonight I actually got hit on twice by 2 different men who as I said men I am not interested in but I will admit it does give one a self-confidence boost. Actually the first guy I didn’t even realize till lizzy pointed him out. He had had a lot to drink so he may not have been seeing to clear, but he was at a table and smiling at me and lifting up his beer can. Me being blonde just thought he was trying to get the bar tenders attention for another drink till I realized there was no one else around me or behind me. Now by no means am I an expert at picking up woman in a bar but holding up your drink this way is more of a way of saying get me a beer then wow I want to meat you. Any way I smiled back but kept on with my conversation with my friends as I was not interested. The second man was at the bar when I went to pay my bill. He had been sitting there looking towards me but again I really don’t pay attention to the men. He asked if I was leaving and why I hadn’t come over and had a drink with him, he even ask if I wanted a drink. Being late I just said I needed to go when he asked where my husband was. I just smiled and said I didn’t have a husband and actually I was looking for a wife. He accepted this and we chatted a bit while I paid my bill. Now I did look good last night but could they have actually thought I was female, a nice though but more than likely it was the amount of alcohol they had or maybe they just didn’t care. Either way it was flattering in an uneasy way.

Thanks for reading and have a great week

October 6, 2012 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tried out Sweethome Bar and Grill

As our group is still looking for places to go last night I checked out Sweethome Bar & grill on Lombard, Rachel whom we met at the P-Club facebooked me and told me about the place and that the owner told her our group was welcome to come there. Now this was kind of a first for Susan as I knew some of our groups regular Friday nighters would not be out and the only response to my post about going there was a couple maybes. So going in I realized it could be just Susan there for the night as I wasn’t even sure Rachel who recommended it would be there.

I got there at 7:30 and they have a really small lot so found a parking spot on the street nearby. Now I am pretty comfortable walking into places as Susan but walking into a bar by yourself is always a little intimidating even for a GG (genetic girl). As I walked up I saw Rachel sitting at a table outside, actually she saw me first and came over and gave me a hug before I even got there. I guess I am a little easier to recognize from a distant.

Rachel introduced me to a couple of the people outside including Danielle, Yes this blonde can remember her name as I have met her also at the P-Club. Rachel also took me inside to show me around and introduced me to the staff and this blonde is horrible with names but all were nice and supportive of our group. I even met the owner Paul who really made me feel welcome and assured me our group was always welcome there.

Rachel, Danielle and I sat and talked and yes a lot was about the P-Club, they thought what happened to our group was wrong and were very supportive of us which is always nice to hear. I also got to know them a lot better and both are wonderful. Cristine did show up about 8:30 which was nice as I was not the only T-girl there now.

It is smaller on the inside maybe the size of the pool area at P-Club or just a little bigger. They have one pool table .50 a game and a good food selection and good prices equal to or cheaper than the P-Club. They have a small parking lot but easy street parking. A really nice friendly neighbor hood bar. They also do Karaoke on Friday nights. They have a group of about 10 to 15 girls that come every Friday for Karaoke and a few regulars they know will be there. Even some of the regulars came over and talked; now we will test my memory. Heather I think was her name came over and told me how cute my heels were and yes they were my favorite pair at least when I am not walking or standing a lot. We chatted for a few minutes and she seemed really nice and not at all bothered with us being there. Miz also came over to talk with us and told us how nice we looked; she even wished she had worn a dress after seeing us.

Cristine and I played a couple games of pool and wow tonight was not my night. I could not sink a ball to save my life so there is no need to tell you who won. A couple more of Rachel’s friends showed up, Heather and her friend Josh so of course they joined us and we had a nice conversation with them. It was a fun night and no one really gave us a second look. I would guess there were probably 25 people there last night.

Cristine left about midnight and I went and stayed about 20 minutes more talking with Heather and Rachel and thanked Rachel for letting me know about this place. On the way out several of the customers said goodbye and hoped they would see me back again. Even the owner thanked me for coming and again assured me our group was more than welcome to come there.

It was a nice fun evening.

Well I should have a little more time this next week for Susan so hopefully I will be able to blog a little more. Thanks for reading.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments


%d bloggers like this: