Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Dinner out with Stefia and Gina

Well Thursday night after a day of shopping I was meeting Stefia for dinner. I was just finishing up my blog about shopping today at a Starbuck’s in the mall when Stefia arrive. It was great to see her again. We still hadn’t decided where we were going for dinner. Well turns out Gina was also going to be out tonight and wanted to join us which was a great idea. I have met her ones or twice before but a couple years back so it would be nice to see her again. Since we were at Clackamas Town Center we decided to meet for dinner at California Pizza which is here at the mall at 7:15 so Gina would have time to get here which left Stefia and I about 40 minutes to kill and what better way than a little more shopping.

We walked down the mall to Macy’s which I have never really shopped at as they are a higher end store like Nordstrom’s well it turns out they have markdown racks too, who knew. What a great deal, better quality clothes and markdown prices. Well Stefia shops here a lot as she knew just where to go. They had several racks marked 50 to 70 % off and then on the sign you got an extra 30% off that price at the register. I found this really cute ¼ sleeve black and white top that was really long, I could almost use it as a really short dress well maybe if I was 2 inches shorter and I also found a really cute black and white dress and both were $20.99 and I got another 30% off at the register so I had to buy them. They were actually cheaper than the dresses I bought at Ross.

Well it was time to go meet Gina so we walked out of Macy’s and across an open air promenade to California Pizza and Gina was already there. It was great to see her again. Well we got a booth and started talking which is always fun. Our waiter actually came back 4 times before we were ready to order. Now we were talking about dessert already so I decided I would be good so I ordered a Caesar salad with grilled chicken, I actually ordered the half salad which turned out to be a full size plate, so glad I didn’t order the full salad.

We had a lovely dinner and great conversation. It was great to catch up with Stefia and Gina. I really like this type of outings as you get some really good quality time to talk with no distractions. Well after we were done Gina asked our waiter if he would take a picture of us and he was only too happy to so we all got our cameras out. We got some really cute pictures but I think this was the best. From left to right is Stefia, Gina and Susan.

Well now we had the big decision, dessert, where did we want to go. Now this is a big choice so we took a few minutes discussing it and then finally decided to walk next door to Dave and Busters BBQ so Gina could see the inside and check out their dessert menu. Well we walked around only to find they weren’t open. It looks like they are still finishing up building it. so we had to go to plan B which was to go to Claim Jumpers which is over across the parking lot so Gina drove over as she parked by California Pizza and Stefia and I walked back through Macy’s to our car and then we drove over so we would be closer after all it was 9:45 and dark out.

We went in and sat at a booth in the bar. Gina ordered a drink and it was such a cute drink we all took pictures with it which was Gina’s idea and they came out cute. I am not sure what it was maybe a Kahlua but if it tasted as good as it looked then it was wonderful.

Now we had the hard choice of what to order for dessert, they have an awesome dessert menu here so we took our time. Now as the items that Gina and Stefia had ordered at California Pizza were just as big as my salad and we were all a little full we decided to order 2 deserts to split between the 3 of us.

After a little though we settled on a Carrot cake and the Italian Lemon cake. Our waitress brought us the desert and 3 plates. The pieces of cake were huge. There is no way I could have eaten a whole piece by myself so we made the right choice to split.

Now I love Lemon cake but have never been a big fan of Carrot cake as I find them dry at least the ones I have had before. The Carrot cake here was really good, it was moist and had a great taste. Well we each cut off a piece of each cake and still had some left for someone to have seconds, and of course we took a couple more pictures with us with our desserts. We should have gotten a picture of them before we cut them up.

Well we sat and talked some more as we enjoyed our desserts which was nice as we got to know each other better. That is one of the harder things about this as we are still guarded about who we really are so it is nice when you reach that point of trust where you feel you can open up about who you are. I really have met so many wonderful people and have become so comfortable as Susan that now I feel I don’t have to separate the two sides. I can be more of a complete whole person with them.

It is amazing how much fun we had just talking and how fast the time pasted. Soon we looked around and we were the only ones still there as a matter of fact they had people vacuuming on the far side of the restaurant. It was time for our night to come to an end which is always sad.

Gina picked up the bill for Dessert which was nice of her, Thank Gina. Well of course we had to have at least one more group picture so Gina got our waitress to take a couple more pictures of us. Now remember at this point I have been out as Susan for over 12 hours with no touchups to my makeup other than a little powder so I am pretty happy with the way I look. Then we headed out, Stefia set her camera up at the front. She has an app on her cell phone that can control her camera so we all posed and he used her phone to take the pictures. We must have taken 10 pictures in the lobby.

It was 10:45 when we left the restaurant and the funny thing is when we left they locked the door behind us so we closed them down. Really it was awesome of them to let us sit there and talk while they were actually closed and cleaning up instead of asking us to leave. I have to give them a big thumbs up.

So here is my review, both California Pizza and Claim Jumpers are awesome places to go. Good food and wonderful staff. What a wonderful evening I had with two wonderful ladies I am glad to have as friends.

Thanks for reading.


October 24, 2014 Posted by | Out and about as Susan, shopping | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Day out as Susan

Well it turns out I had the day off today. Now I had no plans as it was a last minute thing so what to do, yes be Susan for the day and go shopping. I got up early and by early 8 am and got dressed. I really had no plans so I decided to start off at Starbucks and chose the one at Cascade station by the airport. I have been here once before the day of our hearing and it is a big one. I got there at 10 am and they were a little busy which surprised me for a week day. I got my drink and found a table and sat down to play on my computer. I thought about it and sent a text to Stefia as she goes out during the day a lot and hoped that she might be out and able to get together for lunch. She texted me back she could do lunch but had to be home by 1 pm and also her car was in the shop and would need a ride so I would have to pick her up which was fine as it turns out she was not that far from where I was, now if I had gone to my normal Starbucks the one I was at last night I would have only been about 5 minutes from her house. I agreed to pick her up at 11:30 so I still had time to catch up on things and finish my drink.

I left Starbuck’s and headed for her house and got there right at 11:30. She walked out like it was the most natural thing in the world to my car. Now I am not so sure I would have been able to do that if I was being picked up even with the fact two of my neighbors know about Susan. Well we decided to go to McMenamins on the Columbia River for lunch. Now I have been here several times as my male self but didn’t think anyone would remember me.

We got there and they weren’t really busy so we got a table inside and talked for a bit before ordering. It was nice to be out and have someone to have lunch with. The food was good and it was just a good time. After lunch Stefia had our waiter take our picture which she e-mailed me so I have it for my blog. It is nice to have a new picture every now and then. Seems I don’t take as many pictures anymore which is a shame. After lunch I drove her back to her house and then I was off on my own again.

I decided to drive down to Clackamas Town Center and do a little shopping; well it was more about being out than buying anything. I started at JC Pennies and then out into the mall and down to Macy’s and then down to Nordstrom’s. This is the biggest mall in the area so there is always a chance of running into someone you know but being the day time I figured the risk was low. It was an enjoyable time and I spent a little over an hour here. Now what to do next.

I went from here to Lloyd Center for a little more shopping, this mall is the oldest in the area and usually not that busy. I checked out some of the stores and spent a little time in Barns & Noble which if you are out just to spend some time this is a great place to go as you can browse and read and just have a good time. Kind of like going to the Library.

Now I got done here at 4:30 and wondered what to do, should I go home as I really can’t stay out late tonight which is the reason I am out today. I realized that it is now rush hour on a Friday night and it would take me at least an hour or more to get home with traffic, which means I would not get home till 5:30 or 6. My other option is stay out and meet up with my friends at Sweet Home for an hour or so. Now they really don’t show up there till 7 well maybe 6:30 so either way I have some time to kill so what better than finding a Starbuck’s to update my blog and catch up on e-mails. Besides there is always a Starbuck’s near. Well you guessed it I am now at Starbuck’s updating my blog. It is the one by Fred Meyers off Broadway in Portland. I picked a table right in the front corner with 2 big windows so I can watch people walk by; it is fun to people watch from time to time. I figure I will stay here till 6 and then make my way over to Sweet Home, have a little dinner than home.

It has been a fun day and the sun is shining which after two weeks of rain and darkness is nice. I guess things just worked out.

Thanks for reading.

May 31, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dinner and shopping on Thursday night

Well I had not planned on going out Thursday, after all I was out Wednesday night and will be out Friday night but Stefia e-mailed me and wanted to see if I wanted to have dinner and maybe do a little shopping so what can a girl do. I called her when I got home to see what she was thinking. We decided to go to Hawthorn Street in Portland for dinner and shopping. Now it has been years since I was in this part of town so I was all for it. We agreed to meet at Fred Meyers off Mill Plain and car pool over so I was off in a rush to get ready as I said I could be there by 6:30. I was out the door and made it there easily in time. Stefia arrived and we took her car which was nice as I got to just sit back and relax.

Now this area is older and the building are all brick and has a really nice charm about it. We parked the car and took off walking, there are little shops all up and down the street including some vintage clothing stores. We went in a few of them and looked around. The prices were really good and they had some really cute dresses but again none in my size. Stefia found a dress and skirt she liked and bought them. Even though I didn’t find anything to buy I had a wonderful time as I enjoy just looking which as my male self is not the case.

It was fun just walking up and down the street with all the other people, not sure how many blocks we covered but I did get some exercise and what better way to spend a warm summers evening. We stopped at a little bistro for dinner. I think it was Thai but not sure. The service was good and so was the food and the staff always referred us as ladies which always makes the night. It was a really fun evening out and boy did it go by fast.

We walked back to her car and drove back to Fred Meyers where I left my car. We had a nice conversation on the way. It was sad to see the evening come to an end but this girl gets up pretty early in the morning.

As I got in my car I bumped the door and put a big run in my last pair of panty hose so I had to stop at Walgreens on the way home as I am planning on going out Friday night.

Thanks for dinner and shopping Stefia we will have to go again soon.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

July 27, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out again after two weeks.

Well it has been over two weeks of no Susan time and I was really ready to go out. It really is amazing when I think back just a few years and I was so glad to get out a few times a year and I was happy with theat. Now going a couple weeks seems like forever and so hard on this poor girl. Being Susan is such a part of my life now that it would be imposable for me to not be her. She is every bit as important as my male side. It really is funny how much she has grown, I have grown.

Well I got home from work and had to rush as Stefia, one of my friends e-mails me and said she could stop by Starbucks to chat between 6:30 and 7:15 I was pretty amazed as I stepped into the shower at 5:10 and was all ready and out the door as Susan by 6 which is really fast for this girl when you think of what all goes into creating Susan. The other drawback is it was still light outside so that is always a little worry but the more I go out I realize at some point one of my neighbors will see me. When that happens I will deal with it. It is funny as I have talked to a couple of my friends and we all have the same thoughts. It really would be easier if the neighbors knew we just can’t bring ourselves to say anything to them about it but all hope they will ask us about it. But that leads to another thought, they may already know and have the same feelings, they don’t want to bring it up and keep hoping I will say something.

Any way I got to Starbucks right at 6 and they were not really busy. The girl behind the counter knew what I wanted without me even having to ask so I guess that makes me a regular. I have seen her here before but they have more new girls working here and they seem to go through employees pretty regular so hard to learn their names. The one thing I have noticed is they are always females. In all the time I have been coming here I think I have only seen one male working here and maybe only twice. But no matter who is working I have always been treated wonderful here.

Stefia showed up about 6:45 and joined me. She has been out all day, lucky girl. She got her drink and a little snack as she had not eaten yet and then we sat and talked. It was so much fun to just share a little girl talk with her. There were probably 10 other people here and none of them paid any attention to us. We got on the topic of passing when we are out and we both seem to look at it then same. I know I will never fully pass, maybe if others don’t get a good look I might for a while but with my height it is very hard to pass but to me passing is if I can go out and be treated and accepted as a female even if they know I am not then to me I have passed. All the girls who work here treat me as a female and I think that is why I am so comfortable coming here week after week by myself. The key is to dress to blend in and to act like a proper lady I think. Stefia stayed till about 7:30 before she had to leave but we had a nice time and I am sure we will get together again.

Well I took some time and got caught up on my e-mails, seems going away for a week and not being online I had almost 200 e-mails. Most were postings from the group I belong to (Rose City T-0Girls) but I still took the time to read most of them, I did skip over the ones about going out while I was gone as I had missed them and really didn’t need to know where they were going and who was planning on attending. I always hate it when it takes me too long to reply. To be honest Susan is much better at replying to e-mails then my mails self. One of the little differences between the two sides of me.

I was really thinking about the differences between my two halves and it really is amazing. You would not think there would be any differences as we are after all the same person but there are. I think we tend to take on the roll of how we present ourselves which is a good thing. I think if one does not act the part they are presenting then you really are just a dud in a dress but I think if you try to act correctly people respond to it way better.

Well I am still waiting to hear about my vacation for Diva Las Vegas. I think my odds of getting the time off have improved but still only about a 60% chance of going this year. I had hoped to hear this week but now maybe next week. The one bad thing is if I can go this girl need to do some shopping of course I guess I could go shopping even if I can’t go. After all a girl can always use more clothes.

Well must get back to my e-mails. I will of course be out with my awesome friends tomorrow at the P-Club, I think I have missed spending time with them more then the dressing. Next week I will probably only be out on Friday but then I hope to get back to my normal twice a week so I should be back to updating my blog more again. Thanks for all who stop by and read it and leave comments.

March 15, 2012 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Out at Starbucks again.

Well it has been a couple weeks since I have been out at Starbucks and I was so ready for it. Stefia e-mailed me that she would be out and in the area of the Starbucks I go to around 6:30 so I told her I would do my best to get here by then. She is the T-girl I met for dinner last week and is very nice. So I got home from work and ate really quick and started getting ready. Again it helped that I knew what I was going to wear tonight. I actually have it all planed out for the weekend also. Tomorrow at the P-club I will wear the other dress I bought last week and Saturday night I know what I will wear when I go out with my friends to Harvey’s Comedy club. Jan and Lynn got tickets again for the group; it is such a fun night out.

Well I was ready and out the door by 6:15 and got to Starbucks just a little after 6:30 and actually walked in right after Stefia. Stefia was at the counter getting her drink and actually bought mine for me which was very nice, Thanks Stefia for that. Next time it is on me.

Starbucks was a little crowded but still a couple tables open so we sat down and started chatting. It is really nice to have a friend out with you. Stefia commented on how busy it was here which it does seem to be a little busier than normal. Which is good as it means they won’t close down plus it makes good people watching. The funny thing is most of the people who come here are female. There are about 10 woman here and only 2 men and most weeks it is the same. I guess woman just like to relax here more than men.

I still haven’t heard about my vacation for Diva Las Vegas but I am beginning to think that this year I will not make it which is sad. I have had such a fun time the last two years and was so looking forward to it. If I don’t make it this year I will definitely go next year. They already have over 130 signed up so I am guessing they will have around 170 again this year. If you are looking for a fun place to go out dressed Diva Las Vegas is great.

Well it will be another fun busy weekend for Susan as I will be out both Friday and Saturday nights. Friday will be at the P-Club again with my friends. So much fun and always great to spend the evening with them. Saturday will be Harvey’s Comedy club. This is really a fun outing as we are really out with the general public. There are usually a couple hundred people there and we are right there enjoying the show with them. The staff there is great and we have never had an issue there. I really think this is a great way to let people see and meet us and see that we are no different other than the way we dress.

Our group is going to try to get events going on Saturday nights again. Cassandra and Peggy are planning on having a dinner party at their home once a month on Saturday evenings which is nice. So wonderful of them to open their home like this makes you wonder what their neighbors think when they see all these tall woman in heels walking up the street to their home. We are also planning on doing Harvey’s once a month on Saturday nights. With both events we have a safe private place for those girls who are not ready to go out to a mainstream place and also Harvey’s which is as public and mainstream as you can get. I will of course be blogging about both and hope to have pictures.

Well Stefia could only stay here till about 7:45 before she had to leave so now I am on my own. It has really quieted down here and only 5 other people here now. It gave me a chance to catch up on all my e-mails and even some work. Funny thing about computers is you can do so much. Even now I am writing my b log while chatting online with a friend. I guess Susan is good at multi tasking. Must be the female part of me.

At the Super bowl party I got to talk with Roxy, the T-girl who did my pedicure which by the way still looks great. She was telling me some of the girls at the school thought I looked great and wanted to talk to me but was worried about what to say or if they would make me feel uncomfortable or offend me. Now here is my disclaimer, the view here after are mine and mine alone.

I wish they had come and talked to me. As long as you don’t call me a freak or some other name you won’t offend me or make me feel uncomfortable. I know that I am not totally passable and given enough time or probably a little time people will know I am male dressed female. I am always open to conversation and willing to answer questions to people who are interested in me, in why I dress or what I want in life. The only questions I will not answer are about my male identity as that is separate from Susan. I look at it this way; if you would ask a female bout her outfit or compliment her on how she looks you should feel free to do the same for me. We live in a world that has gone way too far to be politically correct for fear of offending someone. We have to be able to talk and ask questions as that is how we learn and find out things. Just my thoughts, if you see me out some place don’t hesitate to talk to me, as long as it is pleasant I am willing to talk with you. Even if you disagree with me and my way of life as long as you accept my right to live this way. I don’t want to tell anyone they have to dress this way any more than I want them to tell me I can’t. Again just my views.

Well thanks for reading and have a great weekend.

February 16, 2012 Posted by | Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Thursday night dinner

Well this week I was planning my normal night out bat Starbucks when I got an e-mail from Stefia, she was going to be out on Thursday night and wanted to know if I wanted to meet her for dinner. Now we have talked about getting together for a while so the idea sounded fun. The plan was to meet at Lloyd center in Portland at 6:30 in Ross and then go get something to eat. Now I knew this would be a rush as traffic this time of night can be bad so I hoped to be ready to leave by 5:45. Well Susan was doing good as she was ready by 5:40 and out the door. It turns out there was no traffic and I was at Lloyd center by 6 pm. I parked in the parking garage and walked into the mall and down to Ross Dress for less as that is where we were going to meet.

Now being early gave me a chance to walk around and look at some clothes. It was fun to be walking around shopping. I was looking at the dresses and found two I liked that were my size and only $15 so I was really thinking of buying them when I saw Stefia walking around shopping. We chatted a bit and talked about where we wanted to eat. Seems she spends a lot of time over here and knows the area really well. We decided on a little Italian place so we walked out of the mall and started walking we were about 2 blocks when we passed Newport Bay and decided to go there instead.

We went inside and the girl seating people greeted us with a “good evening ladies” which always makes you feel good. Now they were not very busy so we got a booth against the wall. Newport bay has some really good seafood and is a little more mid priced range $12 to $25 dollars but was a nice place to go. Our waiter, a young man came and took our order and always referred to us as ladies. I chose fish and chips as I like it plus it was something I could eat without messing up my lipstick. It was a nice relaxing dinner. We enjoyed a nice talk as we ate. The food was really good.

When our waiter brought our bills Stefia asked him to take our picture. Now my dinner was $12.99 and $3 for my drink, but with the happy hour discount my bill was only $9.95. What a great deal, I love Happy Hour. This might be a good place to go with some of the group. I may have to see if I can set this up. Any way we paid our bills and then just sat there and talked. It was a fun night.

Well about 8:30 we left and walked back over to Lloyd center and I went into Ross to see if the two dresses I liked were still there and they were so I decided to go ahead and buy them. One was purple color and the other was a blue top with a black bottom which I liked the best in the store. Any way we said our goodbyes as Stefia wanted to go down to Marshals really quick before they closed.

It was almost 9 when I left Ross and walked back through the mall to the parking garage and to my car. It was a really fun night and I hope to do it again. Stefia and I had a great time and I look forward to the next time.

Well when I got home I just had to try on my new dresses to see how they looked. The blue and black one I like so much in the store did look cute but the purple one I liked better on me. It is funny how that works, I guess you really must see it on to get a good idea how it looks. Any way I plan on wearing the purple on tonight when I go out with my friends to the P-Club. I will have to get a picture for my next blog.

Thanks for reading.

February 10, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments


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