Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Friday night on my own but not really on my own.

Well it has been a long and busy week and I was ready for some relaxing time as Susan. Now I knew Chris wouldn’t be out tonight so I wasn’t really sure who would be or even if anyone from the group would be out but that didn’t change my mind about going. My plan was to go to Sweethome and have dinner as I haven’t eaten yet and see if anyone shows up. I got all dressed and yes I took my time to enjoy the whole experience of becoming Susan. I got to Sweethome a little before 7 and went in. there were only a few people there and none from our group but as we have been coming here for several years I do know some of the regulars.

Rachel was here playing video poker, I have known her for maybe 5 years as we met when our group started going to the P-club and she is one of the reasons we come to Sweethome now. Any way we got talking about the Oregon Court of Appeals upholding our judgement against the P-Club and Chris Penner. It was a difficult thing our group went through and I have been asked by a few people why it was such a big issue and with all the places that would accept us like Sweethome, Harvey’s Comedy Club, Escape Bar and Grill and so many other why we didn’t just take our money somewhere else? The funny thing is I would have been one of those people saying that 5 years ago if this had happened to someone else. You really need to experience it and live through it. So I thought I would take a moment to explain how I felt and why I decided to get involved and before you ask no it was not about money as we all thought we would be lucky to get 5 or 10 thousand as a whole group and most of that would go to our attorney. Our main reason was to get it out there to people and businesses that there are laws that protect people and you can’t break them.

Now when I first herd we were not to come back to the P-club my first thought was why as we had never caused a problem. We went there spent money and had fun, we supported his business and him financially. Then I started feeling the guilt that I was less than everyone else that I wasn’t as important or good as other people and that is a horrible feeling. That we were maybe second class citizens and no one should feel that way. Everyone matters in life and now with the elections going on I see a lot of people attacking people on the other side and some of it is really nasty and that is wrong. People can disagree with you and your view but they still have the right to their views as long as they respect your views. It is called tolerance. Now I felt bad for a period of time about being told not to came back and eventually I started to get mad about it and don’t get me wrong it has been over 3 years and I still feel hurt and sad about being asked not to come back. What was hard is we had met some really wonderful people here and we looked forward to seeing them and playing pool and shuffle board with them on Friday nights also.

Yes we would go out as a group but there was a big part of being social and interacting with others from outside our group that made the whole thing complete. The support we get from our group and friends is wonderful and I can’t imagine no having it but when you meet people from outside your group that accepts you well that is just an incredible feeling and makes you feel you are indeed an equal part of society. Now as I said I met Rachel and Danielle here at the P-club and am still friends with them as they also go to Sweethome but there are many people I met here that I did consider friends, we would talk on Fridays and play games together but as I was still private about the other side of my life and who he was I didn’t give out a lot of information. Once I could not go back there I had no way to get ahold of these friends and so I lost some friends during this because of Chris Penner’s actions and that was really hurtful.

The main reason for fighting this as I said was to let businesses know they can’t discriminate. People say it was just one business but it really isn’t. There are many people out there that have feelings or beliefs about this and many things and they are entitled to them but they do not have the right to treat me unfairly because of them. If one business can get away with this then others will follow. Yes we will always have places we can go but we should not be limited or have to check and do research to figure out where we can and can’t go. It is not about special right but equal rights under the law and that is why I got involved. Wow a little more wordy than I planned s back to tonight.

Well I got out my computer and went on line while I waited for my dinner to arrive. Caught up on some e-mails and then went into the chat room. Now I figured I would stay till 9 in case any other girls showed up. Heather showed up, she is one of the many wonderful people I have met here at the bar so we talked for a little while, she is really awesome as she hugs everyone so I always get a hug from her which just makes you feel good inside. It is funny as woman are freer to hug people where men are not and that is a shame.

Rachel finished playing the video poker and did well so she cashed in and then came and sat with me so we could talk more. A couple of her friends also joined us, Ashley and her wife Shannon who were just awesome. The 4 of us sat and talked and I got to know Ashley and Shannon and about their lives and their daughters. Another one of Rachel’s friends came over I think his name was Jeff. It was a really fun time. Most of the time I wasn’t even aware of how I was dressed or that I was Susan verses my male self I was just me ad that is an awesome feeling.

I was chatting online with a young crossdresser who has been asking questions which I am always happy to answer but she was concerned with passing and being as realistic as possible and I told her how hard that is even for a Transsexual who has transitioned. For me passing and being realistic is what happened tonight. I was out with friends enjoying a fun night and I kept forgetting I was not out as the gender I was born into. I was me and they accepted me as me. Yes they knew the truth but it didn’t matter to them I was a person and that is what passing is all about. And am lucky to be able to do this and have such awesome friends to spend time with.

Well so much for my leaving at 9 as I was having so much fun before I knew it, it was after 10:30. Well I said my goodbyes to my friends and went to pay my bill and saw Monica and Raven at the bar so I guess some of my group came in and I just didn’t notice so I stopped and talked to them for a while before paying my bill.

While I paid my bill the lady sitting at the bar started talking to me. Her name was Leah. She said she had seen me and my friends in here several times and always wanted to talk to me so I stopped and we chatted for a few minutes. She seemed really nice. It was a good night out. Just as I was leaving Joan also came in s I chatted briefly with her before heading out.

Thanks for reading. And remember we are all different and that is okay as long as we respect each other and treat each other with dignity.

September 26, 2015 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

2 days of BOLI hearing on P-Club

Well the time has finally come for our hearing on the P-Club. It seems like it has been a long time in getting here but it really has been fast. Now I was scheduled to testify on Wednesday morning so today, Tuesday I had gone to Starbucks but I texted Peggy and Cassandra o see if they wanted to get together after they testified as they were at BOLI now. Well they were running late and still hadn’t testified so Peggy said I should come down to and meet them for lunch. Now I really wanted to be there so I jumped at the chance. By the way this is a picture of me in the waiting room where the witnesses waited.

I got there just before noon and found where they were, Amy was also there by now as she was testifying today also. Well they broke for lunch and we went to the little café in the building to get something to eat. Sue-Del our attorney and Chet who is handling the case for BOLI came down to talk to us. Now Chet was telling how the afternoon would go, Cassandra would be first, than Peggy followed by Amy and then he looked at me and had a confused look. I just smiled and said I was here for lunch and moral support and that I was testifying tomorrow morning. He thought for a moment and then said things were going faster than he thought and asked if I would be there the rest of the day as they might be able to get me in today. Now I had not thought about testifying today but I liked the idea as I knew I would be thinking about it tonight and have a hard time sleeping so if they could get me in today I was all for it.

After lunch we went to a different room to wait and Cassandra went into the hearing room. While we waited Roxy and Kelly showed up as they were also scheduled for today. There were 13 of us who were testifying and they had 5 today and 8 of us on Wednesday so it would make it more even if we did 6 and 7. It also turned out to be good to have several of us there as we talked about everything except for the hearing which kept our minds off it and helped keep us calm.

One by one we got called in. As this was filed as a Commissioners Complaint he was actually the plaintiff and we are all just witnesses so we can only be in the hearing room while we testify. It was really amazing how fast the time past as we had friends to talk with. I watched Peggy go in, Than Amy, Roxy and finally Kelly knowing I was next. It was almost 4:30 and I wasn’t sure if they would get to me as this was suppose to end at 5 but they did call me up. Sue-Del said that if they started with me they would finish instead of making me come back in the morning.

Well I got in the room and I was really pretty calm which kind of surprised me but then I knew Sue-Del and Chet and I knew this was so really important and I think that is what I focused on. Now this is about the experience and not what was asked and said so it will be more general as my blog is about the experience of being Susan so I will not get into the specifics of my testimony. I will say that the defense had 11 parts of my blog that I knew they would question me on, wow when I started my blog I never really thought people would read it and I never in a million years thought it would be used in a hearing but here I am. My blog is not part of a court record. I was in the hearing room about an hour although it didn’t seem that long and I would say my cross examination was longer than my direct testimony which I kind of expected because of my blog. I never really got nervous or scared while I was in there. When I was done I went back to the waiting room and Cassandra, Peggy and Kelly were still there. The day was all over as far as the hearing and now I had the next day all free. You can read more about the other parts of the day not dealing with the hearing in my blog from that day.

Now later that evening Cassandra and I went to the Boiler Room to unwind and got talking. Cassandra said she was glad I had shown up as having a group of us there made it a lot easier and helped her stay calm, which was funny as I felt the same way so we talked about going tomorrow and just sitting with the girl’s testifying to help keep their minds off the hearing and relaxed till it was their turn. We agreed to be there by 10 am. Now I knew Jenifer would be there at 9 so I was going to make every effort to be there by then.

I got up Wednesday morning and got ready as fast as I could and still look good. I got a test from Cassandra as to who was first that day. Turns out we were both going to be there well before 10 am. Even with traffic I got there just before 9 and got to see Jennifer before she went in and wish her luck and I got to meet Jen who is helping Chet with the BOLI case. She is really excited about this case also.

I went down to the room they had for us to wait in and Jan & Lynn were already there so I got to talk to them. Cassandra showed up just a few minutes later so both of us were there way before 10 as I think we were both to excited about this case. Several of us had our laptops so we passed the time surfing the internet and watching videos. Wilma and Chris showed up so we had a good size group. Victoria and Cristine would arrive after lunch. At Lunch time I did leave to go have lunch with Stefia as I had planned this earlier in the week and it was great to see her again.

I got back about 2 and Cristine was in testifying so all that was left was Victoria. It really is amazing how fast the two days have gone by. BOLI actually wrapped up our side of the case by 3 so the other side went ahead and had some of their witnesses testify on Wednesday afternoon so the hearing was really going faster than we thought. Since we couldn’t go inside and listen and we were all done we left for the night and went to Fox & Hound which you can read in the blog from Wednesday.

On Thursday I had to go back to work but Cassandra went back down to the hearing even though she could not sit in when their side testified but she did get to sit in on the closing arguments and she said it was a wonderful experience and I can’t wait to hear all about it. The whole case was done by about Thursday afternoon even though they had scheduled it to go through Friday. There are still some procedural things that both sides need to do and then the Judge will make a decision but with the case load we figure we will not hear anything till the end of August so now it is just a matter of waiting. This case really has gone faster than we all expected.

It really was a truly awesome experience and I am really happy I decided to be a part of it as it is something I will remember all my life as this is one of those moments in your life that you can really say you did something to make a difference. Sometime you have to take a stand for what you feel is right no matter what. We all did that and we had such wonderful support from those who were not able to be public. It is so wonderful to have the State of Oregon not only on our side but stand up with us. It will be a long 3 months waiting but then we have been dealing with this for almost a year now so what is a little more time.

Thanks for reading

May 10, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Meeting with our attorney Sue-Del on Friday night 5-3-13

Well our attorney Sue-Del wanted to meet with as many of us as possible on Friday night before we went out to go over what we can expect during the hearing and what order we will be testifying in as some have limitations on when they are available. The meeting was at 6 pm at her office downtown so that would mean dealing with Friday night rush hour traffic. Again I had to rush to get ready as I wanted to leave home by 5 to give me time to get there.

I was on my drive and yes I was using my GPS to get me there, love my GPS. Well it told me there was a traffic delay on my route and that I wouldn’t arrive till 6:25 but it also said there was another route that was faster so I took that way and it was. I got to her office at 5:45, you have to love technology.

Well for the meeting it was just Cassandra, Victoria, Chris, Cristine and me that could make it as this meeting was only put together last night. I think we actually have 13 of use listed in the complaint and testifying.

Sue-Del went over how the hearing would work and what order we would testify in. I will be Wednesday morning May 8 so I have to be there by 9 am. It is just now really sinking in that I will be testifying in this case in just a few dats and yet I am at this point really calm about it. The hearing actually starts on Tuesday May 7. They hope to present our side on those two days. And then the next two days will be for the other side to present their case. In reality I think the point of this meeting was to make sure we were calm and give us support and confidence for the hearing coming up.

Sue-Del has been awesome and we are lucky to have her. I think Beth Allen chose us a good attorney to replace her when she was appointed to be a judge. We are really lucky to have met both these wonderful attorney’s as they both believe so much in this case. Now it is just getting ready for my appearance in the hearing. I will probably be thinking a lot about it over the next few days.

We left her office a little after 7 and headed over to Sweet Home to have a fun Friday night out which you can read about in my blog from that night.

May 10, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Tuesday meeting with attorney 4-30-13

Well it was an interesting day for Susan; I had a meeting with Sue-del my attorney and also Chet the attorney from BOLI at the BOLI offices. Now these were individual interviews with them before our hearing which is set to start on May 7 2013. I am very nervous about this as I have only testified once before many years ago and then I was my male self. This time I will be testifying as Susan and for something so very important.

Well my appointment was at 4:30 so I really had to rush, I got off work a little early but still with rush hour traffic I had no time to waist. I got to the BOLI office right on time and went in and checked in, again a little intimidating when you are by yourself. As I waited Brad Avakian the Commissioner of BOLI was leaving and stopped and talked with me. Now this case is so important to him and BOLI that he filed the case in his name so in effect he is the complainant and I am one of the witnesses. It was nice to meet him though and did make me feel a little less nervous.

Well I finally got my turn and went into the conference room with Sue-Del and Chet. This meeting was to go over when I would testify, what to expect and I also found out that the other side is going to use several of my blog entries which I am not sure for what. Wow I never thought my blog would be used for something like this. The meeting lasted about an hour or so.

Now it is all so real as I realize that the hearing is going forward and I will be testifying in something that is so huge and really important. I never imagined that I would be involved in something like this and if you had asked me just two years ago I would have said I would never be in front of a judge as Susan and even now I still can’t believe that this is happening. I did feel better after the meeting as I have a better idea of what to expect and how things will work. I am actually looking forward to it I think as it will really be a new experience for Susan.

May 9, 2013 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Reflecting on the week at Starbucks.

Wow it has been an interesting couple days for Susan. I am out for the night at Starbucks and have a lot to write about. If your read my blog and I hope you do you know our group the Rose City T-Girls were asked not to come back to the P-Club back in June and 6 of us filed a complaint with BOLI in Oregon over this in early August based on gender discrimination as the sole reason we were asked not to come back was because we are transgender. Now these investigations usually take 6 months to a year to complete but we found out yesterday afternoon that BOLI had finished and after interviewing members of our group, current and past employees of the P-Club and some customers that came forward BOLI found that Chris Penner the owner of the P-Club had indeed discriminated against us based on Gender identity.

Now I was at work when text messages started flying in our group. Amy way I got a phone call and answered it thinking it might be from our Attorney’s office, well it wasn’t it was from Kaitlyn Bolduc from KPTV 12 the local fox station and she wanted to ask me some questions which was hard as I was at work she also wanted to interview me for TV. Now this sounded fun and scary at the same time but I agreed to meet her at Fox & Hound at 6:30. I then contacted Cassandra and told her so she could be there also if she wanted. She contacted the others in the complaint so we could all be there. Turns out KOIN news also contacted and wanted to interview us at 5:30 which there was no way I could make that, Cassandra, Cristine and Victoria did make it for that one though. Me I had to work to 5 so Susan was in speed mode and luckily this week I was working close to home. I got home about 5:10 and did the fastest transformation into Susan I have ever done. As I was walking out the door at 5:50, 40 minutes to go from my male self to Susan.

On the drive downtown I got caught in traffic which gave me time to think and start to worry. Not about being on TV but the fact I got ready so fast and now I was going to be interviewed on TV where everyone would see me, god I hope my makeup looks good. I got downtown Portland by 6:15 and Cassandra, Cristine, Chris, Victoria and Beth Allen our awesome attorney were already there since they had been there for the first interviews. We all talked about what this all means for the 6 of us, the group, and transgender people in general. Now that we have the finding that he discriminated against us hopefully other businesses we realize that you can’t discriminate against someone based on gender identity. This is what we wanted and with the news coverage the word is getting out so we are all happy.

Well right at 6:30 Kaitlyn Bolduc showed up with her camera man and we went outside to talk with her and be interviewed. Now mind you ever since I talked with her I had been thinking of the questions she would ask and how I would answer them as I was going to be all ready and come across really awesome on TV. I had good answers for every question I thought she might ask. We talked with her and she told us she would ask us each some questions and just to relaxed and answer how we felt which helped put me at ease. I was the first one she interviewed and I was ready for the questions. The camera was rolling and the first question she asked was please state your name you use and spell it. And a panic came over me as all I could think about was my god don’t give your male name. Susan miller came out of my mouth and then my fear turned to, oh god don’t misspell your name. Funny how when a camera is rolling on you the things you think about. My interview was probably a minute or less, she had 5 questions, the same for each of us and in the end my interview on TV was maybe 10 to 15 seconds. So that is my 15 seconds of fame. I had even practiced my feminine voice all the way down there and on camera although it wasn’t my normal voice it was closer to my male voice then the voice I had practiced.

Now I wonder if anyone will recognize me as I am sure people who know me in my male life had to have seen it. In that short time will they be able to recognize me. I have watched it on TV and several times on line (here is the link) and I must say I think it would be hard for someone to put it to together in that short of a clip as I really didn’t look that much like my male self which is good the other thing is wow the camera is not that flattering as the camera man zoomed in right on my face which really showed me not in such a feminine look. I need a little distance on film. Guess Susan being a movie star is out of the question. Although towards the end of the interview he did get a close up shot of my feet, wow I am glad I re did my toenail polish last week as my feet looked awesome.

After the interview we talked more with Kaitlyn Bolduc about the case and about Chris Penner. She had some information we had not heard yet and Beth Allen our awesome Attorney explained what happens now. Beth Allen is really awesome and if you live in the Portland area and need an Attorney I would highly recommend her.

Well after this was all over we went back inside Fox & Hound and had dinner and talked more about the complaint, most of us had not read it at this point as it all happened so fast which also made the interview a little hard as Kaitlyn asked questions about the finding that had not read yet. Well it was a little after 9 when we left Fox & Hound, most of the girls went over to CC Slaughters but I headed home as I had not even planned on being out plus to be honest I wanted to get home so I could watch the 10 o’clock news, after all I am blonde and didn’t think to set up to record the 10 o’clock news even though I was going downtown to be interviewed for it. My blonde moment.

Well after being out last night I was thinking of staying home tonight but Stefia contacted me to see if I would be at Starbucks and since she was going to meet me if I went out plus I needed to write my blog from last night and what girl would pass up a chance to go out here I am at Starbucks tonight. Stefia got here about 7:20 and we had a nice chat. It is funny how as Susan I love to sit around and talk and Stefia is nice to chat with. She caught me up on what she has been doing and also some of the people we both know. It was a fun time but as always good things must end and she had to leave a little after 8 so that gave me time to write my blog.

This week will be a busy week for Susan as I have already been out 2 days and will be out with my friends tomorrow night for are normal Friday night out as a group. This week we will be at Sweethome as the group seems to like this place and I think it is turning into our regular Friday night place which is good as it makes a lot of the girls feel more comfortable going out to a place that is familiar. And then of Course Saturday being the second Saturday of the month will be our monthly outing to Harvey’s Comedy Club. We already have 16 that have said they were going so we should have an awesome night as always. Any way I will of course blog about these nights also.

Thanks for reading.

Kaitlyn Bolduc

October 11, 2012 Posted by | Fox & Hound, Starbucks | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Interesting Wednesday afternoon for Susan at an Attorney’s office

Well Wednesday July 25th 2012 was a really interesting Wednesday for Susan and for reasons you will read I had to put off making this blog. First I will start with a little background. As you all know from reading my blog our group was asked not to come back to the P-Club by the owner Chris Penner, he actually called Cassandra and left two different voice mails for her about it. Well so all the group could hear what he said she posted it on her YouTube page. Well she also sent the link to this page to the State Attorney Generals office along with a couple local attorneys never really thinking anything about it.

Well one of the attorney’s Beth Allen contacted Cassandra and wanted her to call her and talk to her about it which Cassandra did; she got a free half our phone interview. From this interview Beth Allen believed the Chris Penner violated the law as well as our right under discrimination laws and offered to represent us on contingency. She wanted to meet with Cassandra and a few others that were there on a regular basis. Cassandra said she would talk to a few that were there every week and get back to her. Any way Cassandra met with me, Victoria, Chris and Cristine on Wednesday July 11 at the Rainbow Room to get our opinions and to talk about if we should go forward or not and what kind of issues we might have. We all talked for over an hour and most of the discussion was on reasons we shouldn’t and what might happen or go wrong, mainly being outed for us and possibly members of the group as our group is the main concern. After all the discussion the group came to the conclusion what Chris Penner did was wrong and to keep this from happening at other places we may wish to go we needed to at least meet with Beth Allen and talk with her face to face and get our questions answered so Cassandra set up a meeting with the 5 of us and her on August 1 at her office. Mind you we still had not said yes or no we just had questions that needed being answered and all of us were in total agreement.

Now Beth Allen contacted the Oregon Bureau of Labor and Industries also known as BOLI to get some information on this and how to proceed. BOLI is the state agency who investigates among other things civil rights violations. Now normally how it works is you file a complaint with BOLI and they investigate, if they find that you have a valid complaint they will file the complaint for the persons making the claim in that persons name. Any way from the information they got from Beth’s questions and the YouTube video they contacted Beth Allen and asked to meet with her and the 5 of us on Wednesday July 25th at 3 pm so Beth contacted Cassandra and asked to move our meeting up one week. So this is how we got to my interesting Wednesday afternoon, going downtown Portland in at 2 pm as Susan to meet with an Attorney and a representative for BOLI.

Now this was going to be a fast day as I got off work at 12 and it takes me ½ hour to get home and I need ½ hour to get back downtown Portland to Beth Allen’s office and that is if there is no traffic issues which left little time to get ready so I laid all my stuff out the night before. Turns out traffic was light and I was home by 12:30 and all ready to leave by 1:15 which I think is a personal record for Susan getting ready, shower, shave, makeup, cloths, jewelry and nails and I still looked pretty. Well I drove downtown and only hit a little traffic but easily made it. There is a parking garage about a block away. Now walking downtown on a nice warm day is really nice and there were so many people out. I met Chris out front of the office building about 1:45 and could see Cassandra and Cristine walk up the street so we waited for them and all went inside together. Pretty good timing so far. When the elevator opened we found Victoria who had parked in the garage under the building riding up so all 5 of us went up together. Peggy Cassandra’s wife was already in the office waiting for us.

We met with Beth Allen and her law clerk for about an hour and got to ask all kinds of questions and she told us a little about BOLI and how they wanted to proceed. Our biggest question about privacy for our group members and possibilities of being outed in public were answered and Beth assured us that was not an issue. Only those willing to be involved in the case and giving their names would be involved and the rest of the group would not be involved at all. With our questions answered we were all feeling better about this. Now it was almost 3 and we were already to meet with the representative of BOLI and answer their questions.

Now it was not one representative from BOLI but 4, an Administrator and 3 investigators so now the 6 of us were in an office with Beth Allen, her law clerk and 4 state officials from BOLI. Now to the funny part, they really didn’t have a lot of questions for us but rather told us what they wanted to do. Seems they have already started checking into Chris Penner and the P-Club. Turns out the Commissioner of BOLI feels pretty strong about this case, so much so that he wants to file the complaint in his name, he would be the plaintiff and we would be secondary, basically witnesses. Turns out the voice mail he left where he singled out us as tyranny’s they feel is incredibly strong evidence. They are actually ready to start the process all they need is a few of us which is different then what we thought. They are coming to us.

Anyway we talked with them for over an hour and a half again asking a lot of the same questions we asked Beth as I said our group is the main concern and we want to protect it above all else. Again they told us the same thing; it would only be those who were willing to be witnesses and be involved in the case, everyone else in the group would not be involved in any way.

Now mind you the goal we all have is to tell Chris Penner and any other business out there that they cannot discriminate against transgender people, be it transsexuals, t-girls, or crossdressers. Now we realize BOLI can and will probably place a fine on him as in anything you get people’s attention when you hit them in the pocket book. We are not out to bankrupt him or put him out of business as we really do like the employee’s there as they treated us so great for the two years we went there. But like I said this type of action against transgender people cannot be tolerated so we all decided as a group we should go forward. With that all that was left were to sign onto the complaint.

Now Victoria and Cristine are full time and have legally changed their name so they were the first to Sign. Chris who is a supporter of the transgender community and most of those who know him know this also signed. Cassandra also signed, she is not out publicly as far as both sides of her. I also signed but asked that my male name be left out unless absolutely necessary as I still have kept both sides separate. Now I know that even doing it this way there is a good chance I could be outed but I feel this is worth it as discrimination is wrong in any sense and I guess I am ready to stand up.

None of us knows what will happen but we are sure that there will be media coverage as these types of cases get played up in the news plus in a way that is the point. If this does not get out to the public so they know that they cannot discriminate then this is all for nothing as I said that is our goal. For Transgender people to be able to go where they want, work where they want and not be afraid of being discriminated against.

We also agreed to have Beth Allen represent us in this as our attorney which she is doing totally on contingency. It will cost us nothing. She feels that BOLI along with fines will probably ask for attorney fees to be paid, but even so she is taking this on realizing she may get nothing off of the case. That is how strong she feels about this. Turns out she does a lot of GBLT cases in Oregon and is a big supporter of this cause. From talking to her and meeting her I would highly recommend Beth Allen if you need an attorney.

It was about 4:45 when we were all done. The people from BOLI thanked us and said they would be in touch with Beth to help write the complaint and keep us up to date on the case. Seems this is the first of this type of case in Oregon. Hard to believe that just 4 or 5 years ago I was too scared to really go out of my house and now I am involved in something this big. I am still a little scared about the future and being outed but not nearly as much as I would have thought.

Well from here we all went over to Fox & Hound which I already blogged about.

This was a little longer than my normal blog but felt it needed to be to make sure I got it just right. Thanks for reading and of course I will update as I can.

August 8, 2012 Posted by | T-girl | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

We say goodbye to the P-Club

Well it is a sad day for our wonderful group. We have been going to the P-Club for two years now and never had an issue with any of the customers there. Never caused a problem or a scene and now after two years the owner Chris has asked us not to come there anymore. He says it is because we are costing him business although they are just as busy on Friday nights as the first time we went there. Below is the message he left on Cassandra’s phone.

“Hello, My name is Chris…I am the owner of the P Club bar and grill on North Lombard…Ummm…Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control I am going to have to ask for you Cass and your group NOT to come back on Friday nights…ummmmm….I really dont like having to do that but unfortunately its the area we are in and its hurting my business alot. If you have any questions please feel free to give me a call at 503-xxx-xxxx…again I am really sorry about having to do this but give me a call…”

It really is a shame as we have made some good friends there between the staff and a lot of the regular customers. We will have to find another place to go on Friday night. I just wanted to post this in case someone who has read or follows my blog was thinking of meeting our group there we won’t be there.

June 20, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Sunny warm Friday night with friends 5-11-2012

Well it has been another long week and yes I did not make it to Starbucks again this week which makes like 4 weeks in a row so I was really looking forward to Friday night with my friends. I was finishing up my makeup which is something I really enjoy, I know some GG’s will disagree on this but then they have been doing their makeup every day for many years and I only get to do it 2 times a week for the last few years so for me it is still really fun. Any way I looked out my front window and my neighbor lady was across the street talking with those neighbors standing at the end of their drive which is right across from my driveway and they were watching their kids, 5 of them riding their bikes in the street so they were facing my drive. Now I know I said I knew at some point they would see me and I would just deal with it but there is a difference between them just accidently seeing me and pulling right out in front of them so I was wondering what I was going to do. Well I still had to get dressed and put my nails on so I had time to think about it. Well 10 minutes later I was all ready and looked out the window and they were all gone so I was out the door as fast as I could. With the warmer weather I can see this will make it a lot harder to get out.

Well I got to the P-Club and Cassandra and Chris were there, now I was worried we would have a small turnout being Mothers Day weekend, Happy Mother’s Day to all you Mothers out there. Also being a nice sunny and bright day and then the fact the group is going to Harvey’s tomorrow night I just felt very few would be out but Cassandra kept telling me it was earl and she was right as we had a great turn out. At least 25 that I counted and maybe a few more I missed.

Well I was hungry and so Cassandra and I ordered dinner. I was going to have a salad as I really do need to watch what I eat but Nicole told Cassandra they are defiantly getting rid of the ribs so we both ordered that and it turns out we got the very last two. Kristy showed up next and she also ordered or tried to order the ribs but they were out.

By about 9pm girls started to show up and our group was growing. It was time for shuffle board. Cassandra and Barb challenge Victoria and me to a game. The table was really bad so Cassandra got a towel and cleaned it all off and then we re-salted it. This made it a little more challenging as over the last several weeks I had gotten use to the slow spotty conditions. Cassandra and Barb took an early lead but Victoria and I came back in the end and won by 5, really good game.

Victoria Sinclair also came out; yes we have two Victoria’s. The funny thing I have noticed is most T-Girls only have or use a first name so can be confusing when there is more than one girl with same name. I thought about my name Susan Miller and how I came up with it. Susan was a really cute girl I had a huge crush on when I was 15 and could never get up the courage to talk to her plus she had a boyfriend but I also really love her name so I am Susan. A lot of girls I have found picked name this way. Anyway I got a post office box so I could order things and then added Susan to my box, now the funny part is I had just emptied my new box and all that I had was junk mail from the last people who had it. When the guy at the counter asked me Susan’s last name to put on the box I was looking at the mail and the last name on it was Miller and that just came out. I guess if I had not had the post office box I would have never even thought about a last name. Wow got off track there.

As I said Victoria Sinclair came out and it was great to see her. She has a business called over the rainbow and does makeovers for T-Girls, teaches them how to do makeup, cloths, and wigs and even will take them out for evenings so she had two girls with her. One was Becky and she is up from the Bay Area on her way to Esprit which is a transgender event in Port Angeles every year in May. Any way Becky was in town for the weekend on her way there and came out with our group. It was great to get to know her as she seems really nice. We had a good chance to talk for a while. The other girl was named Rachel and it was so awesome to meet her. She has been crossdressing in private all her life and last Wednesday was the first time she has ever gone out, she went to Victoria for a makeover and then went out with the group to CC Slaughters and tonight was her second time out. Now I know what you are thinking as everyone has a first time out but you see Rachel is 82 years old and is just getting out, how awesome is that. I didn’t get as much time talking with her as I would have liked but I think she is moving here to Portland so I should see her out more and get more of a chance to talk with her and get to know her.

The highlight of the night was a group of about 10 women that came in and sat not far from us. As normal Cassandra was the one who just walked right up to them and started talking with them, god I wish I could do that? Any way once she broke the ice she pointed to the group and I took that as an invitation and went right over and started talking with them. They seemed totally fine with us as a matter of fact they soon all had their cell phones out and were getting pictures with us. I bet there must have been 50 pictures taken by them. Well I could not have that so I went and got my camera and came back to get pictures with them. Well turns out this blonde forgot it had been a while since she changed her batteries and the camera went dead but not before I got one picture. I guess one is better than none. This is Denise and she was totally awesome. It is so cool to meet people like her and her friends.

Well tomorrow night, Saturday our group is going to Harvey’s comedy club again. I think we have 14 that have said they are going and a couple more maybes so it should be a fun night so there will of course be a blog for that.

Next weekend Susan has to work all weekend so no P-Club for her but that being said I am for sure going to find a way to go to Starbucks as I need at least one night out as Susan.

Thanks for reading and have a great weekend!

May 12, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Slow Friday night at the P-Club

Well it has been another busy week for this girl, no midweek outing to Starbucks so I was really looking forward to Friday night with my friends to help lift my spirits. This Sunday starts Diva Las Vegas and the fact I couldn’t go this year really got me thinking about it. You see if I had gone Thursday night I would have gone to the nails salon and gotten acrylic nails for the trip and would be living full time for the next 10 day. Friday we would have drove down to LA and gone out Friday night and Saturday shopping or maybe even Universal Studios like last time. I got a text from Cassandra that she and Cristine made it to LA and I know they will have a fun week so looking forward to hearing all about it. Next year I will be there for sure.

Well I really tried hard to get ready early so I could be to the P-Club by 7 but got there just a few minutes past. Chris was the only one there so far so I joined him and we started to talk. Chris texted Cassandra to see where they were they were already down there as they left at 4:30 am for the drive. I went up and ordered some food, Nicole was off tonight and for the life of me I can’t remember the name of the girl filling in as I have only met her a few times but she is very nice also. I must say that the P-Club staff is really great no matter who is working. We weren’t sure how many would show up tonight as Cassandra and Cristine are the ones who are out the most regular in the group and they are both gone for 10 days. But 7:30 came and a few girls started to show up. Kristy and Bobby were the first two, then Robyn and Teresa. It has been a while since Robyn and Teresa have been out on a Friday night so glad they could make it.

Kim showed up, she is Peggy’s hair dresser and very nice. She was meeting one of her friends there and they were going to hang out with us, how fun is that as it is always great to have some pretty GG’s in the group. Well her friend showed up a few minutes later and she is also very nice but as I am Blonde I can’t remember her name. Actually I have a hard time remembering names one of the reasons I like to put them in my blog but as I am blonde that is the excuse I am using. It looks like we may have a good group after all. In all we had 13 I think which is smaller than normal but just a couple years ago 10 or more was an awesome turnout for our group.

Jen, Trisha and another girl showed up (another blonde moment on the name). It is always good to see them. Gave me a chance to talk with Jen some more and see how things were going for her. She started her hormone therapy a couple months ago and she has started telling everyone about her transition. I give her credit for that as it takes a lot of guts to be so open to people. Any way things are good and pretty much everyone so far has been okay with her transition. It is funny as you think that people would have such a hard time with a change like this but the 3 girls I know best (Teresa, Victoria & Jen) which have gone through it have all had great reaction and support to it. I worry so much about my family, friends and neighbors finding out and I really think for the most part it would be no big deal to them but it is that fear of the unknown.

Well it was time for shuffle board so Jen and I challenge Kim & Teresa to a game. Now Kim has only played once before so Jen and I had a slight advantage. Teresa and I were at one end and Kim and Jen the other. We had a fun time even though the table had way to much salt on it that the pucks did not slide very well but both teams had to deal with this. Jen and I won so we took a break and went back and talked with the group.

Later on Kim and Teresa wanted a rematch, this time Kim and I were at one end and Teresa and Jen the other. During the second game I was giving Kim some tip, strategy on the game. Well Jen and I won again but the third game was a different story as Kim used my tips and really improved, Kim & Teresa won the third game. We all had a fun time.

It was after 10 when Jan and Lynn showed up, Jan in boy mode. It was great to see them and sit around and talk some more. Victoria also showed up, she had been out of town on business and had just flown in to PDX so on her way home from the airport she stopped in to spend a little time with the group. The P-Club really is a nice place to hang out and spend time with friends. It has a nice relaxed atmosphere and the people there are great. One guy came over and told Kim how pretty she was and really looked passable, we all laughed as she is a GG. I told her she should have said thanks in a real deep husky voice but even so the fact he came over and complimented her in our group shows that we are accepted there. The rest of the night I kept telling her what a passable girl she made.

Well a little after midnight our group started to dwindle as girls left. By 1 am it was just Jan, Lynn and I left. We were getting ready to leave when Brooke showed up so we all sat back down and talked some more. Brooke has a new wig that really looks great on her. Before we knew it it was closing time. We all went up and paid our bills and said our goodbyes. It was a little after 2 am when we left. I was so tired as I had gotten up for work a 4 am so I have been up for 22 hours now. On the drive home they opened the bridge for a ship or something but there I sat for about 15 minutes so it was almost 3 am when this girl finally got to bed. But it was such a fun night and I got to spend time with my friends so how better to start a weekend.

Thanks for reading and have a great week.

April 21, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Awesome Friday night and no we did not win the Lottery

Well it was the end of a long week for me so I was ready to spend some fun time with my friends. I really think having good friends will brighten anyone’s day and make you feel some awesome inside and trust me I have some really great friends. Cassandra sent out a group text to see if anyone wanted to go in on some lottery tickets for the big drawing tonight. We had to buy them by 7 pm so you either needed to be to the P-Club before 7 or text her back you wanted in and would pay her when you got there and of course I sent her a text. $5 for a chance at a share of 640 million was worth it to me. I also made every effort to be there before 7 and I guess the thought of winning money did it as I was at the p-club by 6:45. We had 11 people in the pool so I guess when we split it we would each only get $55 million but still a good shot. Cassandra bought the tickets and I also bought some of my own.

Well e did have a good turnout tonight and some of the girls got there early like me and we all talked about the money we would win which was fun, kind of like when you were little and would talk about all the great and fun things we would do when we grew up. Well in case you didn’t know we did not win so we are not all mega millionaires.

Well we had our normal group of girls plus a few more that come out every now and then so maybe 15 to 20 of use there. We are normally the biggest single group of people there but not tonight. About 8 pm a few people started to show up and put tables together for a birthday party and they kind of took over the place. I would guess they had 40 people in their group and all between 21 and 30 years old. They were having fun and really paid no attention to us so we went about having our good time.

We all ordered dinner and sat around and talked. I had a chance to talk with Cassandra about Diva Las Vegas and she is planning on going even though I can’t which is great as I know she will have a great time so Beverly if you are reading this yes Cassandra will be there and staying at the Imperial Palace. I am still sad I can’t go as it really is a fun time.

Later on about half of the group from the birthday party came up to play some pool and shuffle board. Cassandra being her awesome self just started talking with them, god I love that about her. I need to get better at that. Well it wasn’t long and we were all having a fun time together and they were totally at ease with us there. A couple of the guys challenge Cassandra at pool, yes Cassandra won and they were fine with that. The girls in the group all seemed to love us and thought we all looked great which we did by the way. Funny thing was there were probably 20 girls in their group and only one of them had on a dress the rest were in pants of some sort and only 2 of them had on heels as to our group everyone had on a dress or skirt and heels. I guess it just takes a real man to be really girlie.

Anyway I was talking to two of the girls and they brought up the heels. Seems they have never worn heels and figured they would break their legs if they did. I assured them they would be able to walk just fine and showed one of them the basics on walking in heels. Got to love YouTube as that is where I learned. So here we are me in my heels and her in her flats walking back and forth a few times. Now for the funny part the other girl borrowed her sister’s heels and asked me to show her. She really did look awkward but no more then I probably did the first time I wore heels. So we walked back and forth a couple times but that was it for her. Turns out her sister’s feet are one size smaller so her feet were done and she took them off but promised she would get a pair and bring them back for another lesson.

There were lots of pictures taken and of course the night was almost over when I realized none of the pictures were on my camera so I got it out really fast and got a few pictures. It is strange as that was always the big thing when I went out, had to have pictures now it is more about being out at Susan and spending time with friends and chatting with others.

Later on Darcy came over and we sat down together and talked for about 20 minutes or more which was really nice as it gave me a chance to learn more about her and her friends. She was really an awesome person and I am glad to have met her. It was a shame I was so much older than her as she was totally fine with our way of dressing but still I feel I made a new friend. Really hope her and her friends come back again.

Well it was almost 2 am when we finally left. Cassandra and I were the last two to walk out. We had both parked right in front on the street. Another GG came out of the club behind us and told us how awesome we looked. I think she said her name was Lalaunie (I guessed at the spelling) but we chatted for a minute. She told me I had perfect skin and looked flawless which made me feel great as it had been 8 hours since I put on my makeup. Now I will admit it was dark outside and rainy and she had been drinking but the compliment still stands. It was an awesome bight all around.

I won’t be out next Friday do to work but hopefully Saturday as Cassandra and Peggy our having a monthly get together at their home the first Saturday of the month and if the chance happens maybe once during the week but right now it looks as though Wednesday night might be the only chance I have. Any way thanks for reading and have a great week.

March 31, 2012 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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