Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Last Friday of the year with my friends

Well it has been another long and busy week for my male side so again no midweek outing, it has been a month sense I have been out to Starbucks but then the holidays can do that. I had an awesome Christmas with family coming to town and yes that means all traces of Susan had to be hid away. it is funny as over the last year going out so much and as I live by myself Susan’s stuff has kind of mingled with her male counterparts stuff where I use to be really careful to keep them separate. I was really worried I might miss something and someone else would find it, actually I did but I was the one who found it first. It was a lot of work hiding everything for a couple of days plus it felt like I was getting rid of Susan as least temporarily which was not a good feeling. It gives on perspective as I know Susan is a big part of me and will never go away just like my male side. It was nice though to spend the time with my family and I guess the few days of Susan being locked away was worth it. I hope each and every one of you had a wonderful Christmas and got time to spend with family and friends as that is really the best present you can get.

Oh and here is just a little side note, one of the girls in our group has opened a restaurant and bar called Tiger Lily located at 1109 Washington St. in Vancouver, WA 98660, her name is Jackie Stone and I just wanted to give her a little plug here to help support another T-Girl who is starting a business. I have not been there yet but hope to soon but several of the girls from the group have gone and all say it is really good and very comfortable so if you are in Vancouver Washington please check her place out and once I go there I will let you know my thoughts.

Well as I said it was a busy week so I got home late which means Susan had to rush to get ready which is okay on occasion but I do really like the fun relaxing time getting Susan ready. It was almost 7 when I left home so I got to Sweethome about 7:30 so being later than normal I had to park out on the street, I parked right behind another car which turned out to be Laura so we walked in together. Amy, Cassandra, Chris and Roxy were already there. Well it turns out Levi the bar tender is sick tonight so Jodie was working; now here is the funny part. I have met here on many occasions here and even got pictures with her but did not know she worked here as Friday night is her normal night off so she has come in as a customer, I guess we do learn a little more each day.

There were two women playing video poker and chatting with us as our table was right next to them well after they finished they came over and asked if they could join us. Their names were Jennifer and Maria and they were just awesome and they thought we were pretty great too. They actually hung out with us all night long.

Well more of our group started to show up and again we had a great turnout including some girls that don’t get out mush. Well I had ordered dinner and was eating when I almost fell off my chair as Melissa and Heather walked in, they have not been out with the group for a long time. We have kept in touch on facebook and the occasional text but well the last time I saw either of them Melissa had shaved her head and as you can see from the picture her hair is almost down to her shoulders now, Melissa is the one on the left side of picture. It was so awesome to see them again. It was wonderful to talk with them and catch up on what is new; yes facebook is great for keeping up with friends and so is e-mail and texting but nothing is as nice as sitting face to face and talking. I think that is the one bad thing about technology is we are losing the personal connection between people. Don’t get me wrong as technology is great and does give us a lot of advantages as through my facebook and this blog I have met some awesome friends around the world that I would never have known if it was not for the internet but if I ever won the lottery I would love to travel sand meet them in person. Any way Heather was commenting that she hasn’t added any new pictures to her facebook page and yes I will send her the above picture but what a great excuse to have another picture taken, yes Susan like most T-Girls love to have their picture taken.

Well by 9:30 the bar was getting busy but with the Holiday not overly busy but it was a fun night. It was finally time for Karaoke and several of our group sang and did a wonderful job. Blue also showed up and of course came over and talked with us, she is one of the Karaoke group and that group has been so wonderful to us here. We talked for a bit and of course I had to find out how things were with her and the guy she met a couple weeks ago you know girl talk.

Well it was getting late and most of our group had left, Jennifer and Maria also left but said they would be back again on Friday nights so hopefully we will see them again as they really were fun. Kelsey one of the girls who comes in to sing came over and talked with us, I have met here once before here but this was the first time we have really talked. She was also really nice. She is the one who wanted me to sing with here awhile back that I told her I would the next week as that night she had had a little much to drink and I figured she wouldn’t remember the next week. Well again tonight she asked me to sing with her and I promise next Friday I would but tonight she had not drank as much so I may find myself singing next Friday. We will see.

Well we all paid our bills and put our coats on and were ready to leave when another woman came over to talk to us, she just wanted to tell us how nice we looked and how you don’t see woman dress up like we were as much anymore. What a nice compliment and of course we all thanked her and exchanged names but as I had another blonde moment I can’t recall here name. Now on her comment about woman not dressing up as much anymore I just want to clarify that that is okay. For us T-Girls we get a limited amount of time dressing so we are willing to put in the time and effort, but dressing every day this would be a lot of work. Even with going out about twice a week for the last few years if you add all the times I have ever dressed as Susan it would probably only be about 2 years of dressing if I did it every day. So for me it is still fun and exciting to try the different looks, makeup, dresses and heels. Most girls get this dressing by the time they are in their early teens. But all that matters is that one is happy with whom they are in life and live their life the way they want to.

Thanks for reading and may you all have a Happy and safe New Year!

December 29, 2012 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday night after Thanksgiving

I just wanted to start by wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving just a little late. I had a wonderful time with my family but as they know nothing about Susan or this side of my life Susan had to be all boxed up and put away for a few days. Actually most is always put away with the makeup which is all over my bathroom. It is funny about how much makeup one does have and you don’t think about it till you really have to make sure it is all put away. Any way as it is something that is not often said which is a shame I would like to let you all know how Thankful I am for all my wonderful friends who read my blog, are friends on facebook or Flickr, you have all in some small way helped shape Susan and become the person she is today. I think the key is to know you are not alone and have friends that will support you, so again Thanks to my great big extended family here and have a safe and happy Holiday season.

Well Friday night and it was time to get ready and go out for a fun night with my friends. I was getting ready and doing my makeup which did take longer tonight as I said I had put it all away so it messed up my routine as things were out of place and I had to look for things and also really think about what I was doing. It really is funny how accustomed we get to things. I really am a creature of habit as I found that I did things out of my normal order as I really had to think about what I was doing. When I was all done I took one final look in the mirror and something was not right, I had forgot my blush so I took a few moments and put everything back in there places in the drawer so next time it will be easier.

Well I was out the door and on my way and it was really raining so traffic was slow so it took just a little longer to get to Sweethome than normal. There parking lot was already full which isn’t saying much since they only have room for 4 cars so I had to park on the street which isn’t that bad except for the rain which had eased up some but as I was worried about my makeup I had to use my umbrella. This is one of those differences between male and female self, my male self would not have cared about this light of a rain.

Inside I found that Cassandra, Chris and Roxy were already there, they tend to get there earlier as Roxy has to work early on Saturdays so she doesn’t stay out to late. We talked a little especially about our Thanksgiving. Chris went over to Cassandra’s house and cooked Thanksgiving dinner and they had several of the group over which is nice. Well as normal it wasn’t long before more girls started to show up, we are starting to get our normal Friday night group back like we use to have before the P-Club asked us not to come back. I do think having a normal place we go every Friday night does help make it easier for some girls to get out as they feel more comfortable which is good but it can also be nice to try new places. Cassandra and I talked about it as we both also like the Boiler room, we talked about maybe doing a Saturday night out at the Boiler room maybe once a month which would be fun as we always have a fun time there also. Well we all ordered dinner, tonight’s special was chicken cordon blue which was very good by the way, they really do have good food here.

It was time to play some pool so I put my quarters on the table to play the winner and it turns out I got to play Cassandra who is probably our best player so she is the one everyone wants to win against. It was a good game and I was making some good shots but I still had 2 balls when Cassandra got to the 8 ball, she missed so it was my turn and I did well. I sunk both balls and the 8 ball to win so my night was awesome. I played a couple more games before losing. I made an effort to talk at least a little with everyone from our group tonight, sure hope I didn’t miss anyone.

Heather one of the girls from the Karaoke group that comes in was there, she is always so nice and talks with us and treats us all wonderful. She had on this really cute black dress and heels and looks so cute; I had to tell her how beautiful she looked. This is always a hard thing to do as I never want to come across as making it sound like they didn’t look good before which she always looks good but there is just something about a woman in a dress and heels that makes a statement. For me and our group we tend to always were dresses and heels when we can and I think it is because we only get to do it on a limited basis were as if you can dress this way all the time then I can see where it might not be as big of a deal.

Lorraine also made it again tonight which is always awesome; she is so wonderful and fun to be around. We had a good time talking and she even played Cassandra a game of pool and almost won. I got a chance to play pool again and won 5 games in a row including two games against regulars not from our group. It is so cool that we can intermingle with the other customers here and have a good time. I can really see where my pool game has improved over the last 2 years as I play more.

Well it was time for Karaoke and of course Chris, Lorraine and Lynn all sang and did an awesome job, actually everyone who sang did a great job. It would be fun to get up there and sing if I could just get over my fear of what people would think. It still amazes me that I worry about what they think of my singing but am so at ease about going out as Susan, any way Lorraine asked me several time what I was going to sing and I kind of promised her I would sing next week so now I have that to think about.

Any way we had another awesome night out and soon it was almost 1 which is earlier than we normal leave but with the busy last couple days we were all tired so we called it a night. As we left it was raining and you could see it had been raining hard from all the standing water in the parking lot so out came my umbrella again. Now this is the only bad part of being Susan, as I stepped out I had to walk through little puddles of water and as I had on my heels with open toes my feet got wet, well only my toes as my heels could have gone through a 3″ puddle and stayed dry. My toes got wet and cold but there was nothing I could do but keep going, the one drawback to open toed heels, they are not warm and will not keep your feet dry in the rain but it is a small price to pay for such cute shoes.

Now on the way home I was thinking, my toes are starting to look bad and I need a pedicure but with the busy time of year now I am not sure when I will have time to go and get one which by the way is awesome so I decided I will do my own again. Of course I don’t have any nail polish remover at home which means stopping at a store on the way home. So I made a quick stop at Walgreens for some nail polish remover and a bottle of top coat. So that is going to be my Saturday afternoon me time, watching a movie and painting my toes a pretty red color, what better way to spend a relaxing day.

Thanks for reading.

November 24, 2012 Posted by | Sweethome | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

A new place on Friday 52nd street sports bar

Well it was another busy week and as always I was looking forward to Friday night out with my friends. We were meeting at the 52nd street sports bar off of Sandy in Portland at 7 pm. Now we heard about this place from Scotty one of the bar tenders at FOX & Hound, he knew the bar manager here and had talked to her about us getting kicked out of the P-Club and she told him to tell us to come there we would be welcome, how cool is that. Her name is Brenda and she really is awesome.

Well I was all ready to leave by 6:45 and no signs of my neighbors so off I went. As I pulled out on the street just a few houses down 5 of the neighbor kids were riding their bikes down the street towards me and nothing I could do but keep going. Hopefully they were too interested in riding to pay much attention to me in the car. There was a little more traffic tonight so took me a little longer to get there so it was about 7:30 when I arrived. I found a parking spot on the street just a little way down from the door. Now there is always a little rush going in someplace totally new but not like it use to be a few years back. It use to be I would sit in the car and watch who was coming and going and who was around and build the courage to get out of the car. Now it is just get out and go and the rush is to see how people accept me or look at me but still fun to go to a new place.

Chris, Cassandra, Amy, Cristine and Bobbie were already there. I think it is just a little bigger than the Sweethome bar we went to the last couple weeks but it may just be the layout inside seemed more open. There were maybe 10 to 15 other people there also and it turns out Cassandra and Cristine got there about 5:30. We ordered some food and played some pool and yes I lost but had fun doing it. Bob, Samantha, Michelle and Alizabeth also showed up while we were eating.

A couple GG’s at the next table started talking to us, actually Chris was trying to download some music on their juke box and couldn’t get it to work so they helped us. Well we got talking to them and had a great time. Their names were Heather and Suzanne. They told us how great we looked and one never gets tired of hearing they look pretty at least I don’t. Somehow we got on to age and I of course told them I was sure I was older than they were and they both said they were older then I thought and Suzanne wanted to bet. Turns out I should have bet as I was a year older than Suzanne and 6 years older than Heather so I guess I still look good for a 48 year old of course the makeup helps a lot. Well Suzanne wanted a picture with me and you all know how much I love getting my picture taken, I couldn’t get my camera fast enough, this is me and Suzanne. They seemed totally okay with our group being there.

Jan, Lynn, Jenn, Kelly and Robyn showed up also so now we had 15 of us there. This was really good considering we were at a new place that we had never been to before. It was nice to get a chance to talk with everyone but as we were spread across 3 tables I kept moving from table to table. I chatted with Samantha for a bit, she had tried doing her nails the way I do but the tape wouldn’t hold. Turns out she bought the regular mounting tape and not the Scots indoor outdoor mounting tape, this tape is water proof and holds up so much better, you can see a picture of the tape in my blog “Great idea for fast beautiful nails“.

I also got to talk with Jenn which was nice as it has been about 6 weeks since we have both been out at the same time. It was nice to catch up on what is new, she has come out to her whole family about Jenn even though she is not yet full time yet. The funny thing is she has told all her neighbors about it but they are never out when she leaves and she keeps hoping they will be so they can see her. I on the other hand none of my neighbors know and it seem almost every time I leave they are out or around and I don’t want them to see me, funny how that works.

Got to talk with Jan and Lynn as it was nice to see them out, they are such a wonderful couple. Jan and I played doubles against a couple guys, don’t remember their names but they asked us to play. Jan and I won both games, we had a good time and they thanked us for the game. Jan did make an awesome shot, she had to shoot to the far end of the table and bounce it back to the same end between their balls and the two we had left. She called the one ball in the corner and in fact she hit it so perfect she split them and both went in opposite corners. I don’t think we could have set it up to do that, great shot. A couple other guys came up and wanted to play us their names were Rob and Jesse and they were good. They beat us 3 games in a row but we had fun. The fourth game was ours, we actually did really well and in the end we won and they had not sunk a ball.

At 10 they also do Karaoke here, Chris sang a couple songs. A couple GG’s came over, their names were Debbie and Gina. They chatted with us for awhile. Debbie asked Chris to sing the song boys of summer I think which he did. We had a lot of interaction with the people here and they seemed fine with us, most of the time actually almost all of the time they came to us to talk so it wasn’t like we were forcing the issue with them which made it nice.

Brenda the bar tender was awesome and so nice, she was a little over worked with us there as it was a lot more business but she did great. She told us we were welcome there any time which made us feel good. Even several of the regular customers, both male and female told us the same and hoped we would come back. Debbie came back over latter just to tell me her and her friend Gina thought I was very beautiful. I never get tired of hearing as it makes you feel so wonderful inside. It really was a fun night. I think we are still going to go to different places instead of the same one every week just to mix it up some though but I am sure we will be back here again. If you are looking for a friendly neighborhood bar check out 52nd street sports bar.

Not sure if I will get out this week during the week but I will be out next Friday as we meet with our Attorney Friday between 3 & 5 which I hope to be there by 3 and then also Saturday we should do our monthly trip to Harvey’s comedy club which is always so much fun. Thanks for reading.

September 1, 2012 Posted by | 52nd street sports bar, Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Tried out Sweethome Bar and Grill

As our group is still looking for places to go last night I checked out Sweethome Bar & grill on Lombard, Rachel whom we met at the P-Club facebooked me and told me about the place and that the owner told her our group was welcome to come there. Now this was kind of a first for Susan as I knew some of our groups regular Friday nighters would not be out and the only response to my post about going there was a couple maybes. So going in I realized it could be just Susan there for the night as I wasn’t even sure Rachel who recommended it would be there.

I got there at 7:30 and they have a really small lot so found a parking spot on the street nearby. Now I am pretty comfortable walking into places as Susan but walking into a bar by yourself is always a little intimidating even for a GG (genetic girl). As I walked up I saw Rachel sitting at a table outside, actually she saw me first and came over and gave me a hug before I even got there. I guess I am a little easier to recognize from a distant.

Rachel introduced me to a couple of the people outside including Danielle, Yes this blonde can remember her name as I have met her also at the P-Club. Rachel also took me inside to show me around and introduced me to the staff and this blonde is horrible with names but all were nice and supportive of our group. I even met the owner Paul who really made me feel welcome and assured me our group was always welcome there.

Rachel, Danielle and I sat and talked and yes a lot was about the P-Club, they thought what happened to our group was wrong and were very supportive of us which is always nice to hear. I also got to know them a lot better and both are wonderful. Cristine did show up about 8:30 which was nice as I was not the only T-girl there now.

It is smaller on the inside maybe the size of the pool area at P-Club or just a little bigger. They have one pool table .50 a game and a good food selection and good prices equal to or cheaper than the P-Club. They have a small parking lot but easy street parking. A really nice friendly neighbor hood bar. They also do Karaoke on Friday nights. They have a group of about 10 to 15 girls that come every Friday for Karaoke and a few regulars they know will be there. Even some of the regulars came over and talked; now we will test my memory. Heather I think was her name came over and told me how cute my heels were and yes they were my favorite pair at least when I am not walking or standing a lot. We chatted for a few minutes and she seemed really nice and not at all bothered with us being there. Miz also came over to talk with us and told us how nice we looked; she even wished she had worn a dress after seeing us.

Cristine and I played a couple games of pool and wow tonight was not my night. I could not sink a ball to save my life so there is no need to tell you who won. A couple more of Rachel’s friends showed up, Heather and her friend Josh so of course they joined us and we had a nice conversation with them. It was a fun night and no one really gave us a second look. I would guess there were probably 25 people there last night.

Cristine left about midnight and I went and stayed about 20 minutes more talking with Heather and Rachel and thanked Rachel for letting me know about this place. On the way out several of the customers said goodbye and hoped they would see me back again. Even the owner thanked me for coming and again assured me our group was more than welcome to come there.

It was a nice fun evening.

Well I should have a little more time this next week for Susan so hopefully I will be able to blog a little more. Thanks for reading.

August 11, 2012 Posted by | Out and about as Susan | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

P-Club on Friday night with my friends.

Well it has been a long and busy week for this girl but didn’t realize how much till Friday. I got off work a little early because of some extra hours I have been putting in so I was home by 3 instead of my normal 4:30 which was great. I had some time to relax and watch a little TV before getting ready. Anyway I turned on the TV and sat down on the couch. Next thing I knew the national news was on and when I looked at my watch it was almost 6 pm, I guess the long hours and short nights caught up with me. Anyway I was up off the couch and on my way to get ready for my night out with my friends. I wanted to be able to leave before 7 so I would not run the chance of meeting my neighbor on the street like a couple weeks ago. I know I can get ready in an hour or less if I have too but this being a Friday night and going to a club with my friends always takes a little longer as I do more with my makeup.

Well it was just a little after 7 when I was ready to leave; I did a Smokey eye look which I have been trying to get better at. I am still not great at it but I think this was my best looking attempt so far. I looked out the window to see if my neighbor was home but she wasn’t so I knew there was the chance we would run into each other on the street. It is only about 3 blocks that I go before I can turn off as I live almost at the end of a dead-end street. Well Susan wanted to be out so I figured if we passed each other and she saw me well that was how it was meant to be so I got in my car and off I went and there were no problems as I did not run into my neighbor.

I got to the P-club just before 7:30 and the parking lot was packed but I found my parking spot on the street right in front of the door. Inside they were not that busy. Cassandra, Chris, Charlene, Melissa, Heather and Kristen were all there so I felt like I was late guess the nice weather just got everyone moving earlier. Well I went and got a drink and ordered dinner, the regular girls that work there had the night off but Isaac who has been there working Friday nights for the last few month was there and also Gina who normally works Saturday through Tuesday so it was the first time I have met her. They are both just as nice as the others who work there.

Melissa had a new dress, a long purple dress and it was gorgeous. She was so proud of the dress and showed it to everyone. She really looked pretty and was always smiling. She is a lot of fun to hang out with. Melissa joins me at Starbucks every once in a while and we have a fun night just sitting there talking. This next week I can go out almost every night so I hopefully I can pick a night Melissa can make it.

Heather who is a tall GG 5’11” but her height fits her well she wore 4″ heels which she never does because she is so tall. Well I was standing next to her and we were the same height as I chose 3″ heels for the night. It was nice to be eye to eye to a GG as it made me feel like I didn’t stand out so much. I should have gotten a picture with her. Well maybe she will wear them again and I will think to get a picture.

Maya showed up as Maya this week, turns out she didn’t get the job she interviewed for. I had really hoped she would get it as she cut her hair really short for the interview. Anyway Robin and I played against Maya and Amy in shuffle board. They took a quick lead but Robin and I never gave up and we finally took the lead. In the end Maya got a really good last shot and scored 10 points at the end to win. It was a fun game.

After that Maya and I played as partners against Cassandra and Catherine. It is always so fun to play Cassandra as she is so competitive in everything she does and she is good at most things so if you can beat her at something it is always fun. It was a really good game and close but Maya and I won.

A couple came over and wanted to play us shuffle board. Now we met them a while back. They are really nice, I can’t remember her name but his was Guy, I am sure it is in one of my previous blogs. Well we played a game and had a fun time. Maya and I won but what made it so much fun was interaction with the other customers and being treated just the same. They really are two wonderful people.

Well now it was time to sing happy birthday to Lynn. Sunday is her birthday so we all gathered around her and sang to her. Guy and his wife also joined in with us. It is always so nice to celebrate a birthday in the group as it really reflects how close we have all become like one big happy family.

Well now it was time to make sure I got to talk to everyone. The night can go by so fast and with the size of the group you can miss people. We had a new girl there; she has gone out before but first time with our group. Her name is Kristy and she just joined our group. Misty and I were talking with her and getting to know her. She is really nice and we look forward to her coming out with the group more.

For once Cassandra was not the last to leave. It was about 12:45 when she was ready to leave; I guess my nap earlier helped. The rest of us stayed till about 1:45, I think there were still 7 of us there at that time. The last hour we just sat around and talked. Kitty, Jennifer, Barb, Misty, Robin and I were all talking and Kitty was telling us about her neighbors. When she moved into her new apartment she told them all upfront. She performs as Kitty and is really good so she goes out all the time so she was totally upfront.

Well as it was time to leave I went and paid my bill and by this time everyone was gone but Robin and me so we were the last 2 out. What a fun night. Hope everyone has a great week.

July 23, 2011 Posted by | P-Club | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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