Susanmillers Blog

My life as a heterosexual crossdresser.

Monday night zoom meeting on Columbus Day

Happy Columbus Day

It is Monday (Columbus Day) and although where I work does not recognize it as a Holiday I do. Any way I had to work but being a holiday traffic was not bad so I actually got home earlier than normal so I had plenty of time to get ready today so I took my time. Now tonight I tried a little different look specifically my eyebrows, I tried a thinner brow arch and was pretty happy with it, still trying to figure out the best look for me. I was all ready by 5:45 so I had lots of time before our meeting started. I did get some pictures and then finished up my blog from Sunday and posted it online.

I started the meeting at 7 and girls started to log on, tonight we would have 11 of us, Jennifer, Melissa, Nicole, Christa, Jan, Lynn, Danielle, Jeannie, Emily, Tori and me. Now as normal we spent a little time catching up which was nice but we got to Jennifer’s question early as it was a really good one although it was really for those who are transitioning and living full time. now being October 11 it is not only Columbus Say but also national coming out day and that was what the question was about. It was about coming out to people and how many times? Now for most of us that don’t transition we may never come out to anyone or if we do it is usually very limited, maybe a spouse or family member but for those who do go full time and live as their true self it usually means coming out over and over again as you have to tell everyone and it is not something you can do one time. Now I have never come out to anyone although one of my neighbors found out and I admitted to it.

I had never really thought about it but yes if you do come out you may be doing many times of a long tine as you really can’t get everyone all together at one time and then there are the tings you don’t think about, drivers license, social security, doctors office, dentist, passport, bank accounts and so many more. Now some will be easier at least emotionally then others but most likely there will be sone you know that you will lose. I have often thought about what it would be like usually my co-workers and although I don’t know how they would take it but from what I know of them I think 60 to 70 % wouldn’t care either way. The rest would probably be divided between those that would have a problem with it and those that would think it was great.

Now it was interesting to hear what the others had to say and it usually starts with coming out to family and friends and then work and yes it seems to be as hard each time as everyone is different and you have to deal with each one separate and I realize I would approach telling my family different then work. This would be a hard thing to do but from listening to them they came to a point they could no longer not do it. The stress on them before they came out was way more then the stress of telling people and yes, they did lose some people in their lives but most say it was over all positive and worth it for them. Again I have not done this so I really only imagine what they went through.

The follow up question was what is the one thing most people ask about this and it really came down to 2, first for those who are married of in a relationship was what was going to happen to the relationship and how was the other person handling it. ow again I have no firsthand knowledge on this but at least in our group it seems the spouses and partners are okay and even supportive and I think when that happens it really helps the rest of the family be okay with it.

The other question is are you gay when you transition (or even present as female) most people believe you are then attracted to men, they confuse gender with sexual preference. Now I am not saying that for some there is the attraction to men but again my opinion from what I have observed I would say 60% are still just attracted to woman. The rest will either be attracted to both or maybe just men and that is all okay, be who you are. Now what I have noticed personally as I have had this question many times is some even when you tell them can’t understand it or just don’t believe it. yes, I present a lot as female and when I do part of that is taking on the roll of being female. That being said I am not at al attracted to men, part of my being Susan is to present as what I find attractive, I try to remove all my body hair as I find nothing attractive about hair on the body or face. Now I have had this conversation with people and I have had those that almost argue with me that I am wrong and I am attracted to men. Gender expressing and being the gender you are and who you are sexually attracted to are 2 different things.

The last question that was asked and I really haven’t had this question really and that was about your body specifically, surgical status and what body parts you have or don’t have and I was shocked that this would even be a question asked as I personally would never think of asking that. Please don’t ask that question, a person’s medical treatments and what they have done with their body is their choice alone, be respectful. Now some girl will talk about it and tell you and that is also fine but it is their choice to tell you or talk about it. mow my opinion and again this is my view only, if you see me out and are really interested and not trying to be rude you can ask me anything. Now I may tell you I am not comfortable answering a question (usually personal stuff like where I live or work) but other than that I will try to answer your questions as I feel or think and again it is just y views and may or may not be how other feel or think. We are all different and feel different or view things different and that is fine.

We actually spent most of the night talking about these questions and yes, we had a lot of similar thoughts and some differences. It was about 8:30 when girls started signing off and a little before 9, we were down to just 4 of us so we ended the meeting for the night. It was a really good night. now I am looking forward to Wednesday nights dinner at Who Song and Larry’s.

Be happy with who you are. Thanks for reading and be sure and read my most recent blog to see what is new in my life.

October 13, 2021 - Posted by | zoom | , , , , , , ,

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